gymfreak Posted January 20, 2019 Report Share Posted January 20, 2019 (edited) Removed.... Edited October 24, 2019 by gymfreak Not relevant anymore Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garyl Posted January 20, 2019 Report Share Posted January 20, 2019 Life complicated enough.. get someone LT while you can still choose... But its your life to love ..bro.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fab Posted January 21, 2019 Report Share Posted January 21, 2019 8 hours ago, gymfreak said: If you know your playmate already have a bf, will you still stick to him or give him up? Let’s say that u really like him, emotionally and physically... No. If he can betray his current, he can do it again. Next! blowmenow 1 Quote 鍾意就好，理佢男定女 never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want. 结缘不结怨 解怨不解缘 After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say. 看穿不说穿 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Talk Posted January 21, 2019 Report Share Posted January 21, 2019 Ask him why he is still doing so if it is not already obvious why. Then judge his character for yourself and see whether he is still someone you wish to go long term with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gympump Posted January 21, 2019 Report Share Posted January 21, 2019 (edited) 10 hours ago, gymfreak said: If you know your playmate already have a bf, will you still stick to him or give him up? Let’s say that u really like him, emotionally and physically... I will ask for their opinion. I used to have a buddy that we meet up occasionally for sex a few times a year. One day after many years, he told me he is attached and they are having open relationship. I even had a 3some with both of them, so the bf know who I am. I did not initiate any meetups after that and he will call me up for one on one sex occasionally. We did not really talk about relationship matters over the years. During our last meetup he told me that when we were younger, he was interested in me being his bf. I did not remember at all. He insisted he told me about it. We had a good laugh, chatted more about this over the night. Next few days we carry on messaging each other on whatsapp casualy. Then he disappear suddenly. That ended our years of friendship. Edited January 21, 2019 by Gympump blowmenow 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gymfreak Posted January 21, 2019 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2019 (edited) On 1/21/2019 at 9:48 AM, Gympump said: I will ask for their opinion. I used to have a buddy that we meet up occasionally for sex a few times a year. One day after many years, he told me he is attached and they are having open relationship. I even had a 3some with both of them, so the bf know who I am. I did not initiate any meetups after that and he will call me up for one on one sex occasionally. We did not really talk about relationship matters over the years. During our last meetup he told me that when we were younger, he was interested in me being his bf. I did not remember at all. He insisted he told me about it. We had a good laugh, chatted more about this over the night. Next few days we carry on messaging each other on whatsapp casualy. Then he disappear suddenly. That ended our years of friendship. Edited October 24, 2019 by gymfreak Not relevant anymorr Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suckmegood Posted January 21, 2019 Report Share Posted January 21, 2019 Damn... I can so relate to the disappearing part... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alponsu Posted January 21, 2019 Report Share Posted January 21, 2019 Seems the advice here is to talk things out. I hope you resolve this issue soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gympump Posted January 21, 2019 Report Share Posted January 21, 2019 4 minutes ago, gymfreak said: Things that really break my heart is this.... every day msg u try to get near to u, know more about u... then after a few session of sex, suddenly everything quiet down... Whatsapp once a while n then totally disappear Lol, not every day. He was one of the first few gays I know from the internet during the MIRC era. We message once in a while to find out how each other were doing. We met up like a few times a year, sometime for meals and drinks. After more than a decade, we he told me he was attached but nothing much changed. However last year with no reason he disappear without any explanation. Initially I was worried something might happened to him. After sometime I think he should be fine and I felt disappointed because he just disappear. I will prefer he tell me the reason and we will end the friendship gracefully. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyglobe Posted January 21, 2019 Report Share Posted January 21, 2019 (edited) Can just play along as this is the rule of the game in this circle but dont put in your "zhen xin" so u wont get hurt when things did not turn out right. Edited January 21, 2019 by lonelyglobe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blowmenow Posted January 21, 2019 Report Share Posted January 21, 2019 10 minutes ago, suckmegood said: Damn... I can so relate to the disappearing part... same here... but i guess short pain is better than long pain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blowmenow Posted January 21, 2019 Report Share Posted January 21, 2019 6 minutes ago, Gympump said: Lol, not every day. He was one of the first few gays I know from the internet during the MIRC era. We message once in a while to find out how each other were doing. We met up like a few times a year, sometime for meals and drinks. After more than a decade, we he told me he was attached but nothing much changed. However last year with no reason he disappear without any explanation. Initially I was worried something might happened to him. After sometime I think he should be fine and I felt disappointed because he just disappear. I will prefer he tell me the reason and we will end the friendship gracefully. proper closure is better than disappearing act... i think its basic courtesy too... why some cant man up and speak out nicely sigh... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gympump Posted January 21, 2019 Report Share Posted January 21, 2019 5 minutes ago, blowmenow said: proper closure is better than disappearing act... i think its basic courtesy too... why some cant man up and speak out nicely sigh... Definitely, especially when we know each other for so many years. I assumed he and his bf suddenly wanted to be monogamous. Telling me about it before disappearing should be the way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaze Posted January 21, 2019 Report Share Posted January 21, 2019 11 hours ago, gymfreak said: If you know your playmate already have a bf, will you still stick to him or give him up? Let’s say that u really like him, emotionally and physically... he just need you as a sexual gratification. that's it. it's not hard to tell right. I'm sure u know it deep down too. just that you focused on your inner feelings more than the overall picture.. chat wise, I'm sure they don't go deep like what kind of future do you envision yourself in? what kind of qualities do you value in a rs etc etc. morale of the story is, if its just a hook up, it's best kept to the confines of the bed or wherever the sex maybe at. please learn to love yourself first. if you don't even love yourself, nobody will love you. in case my words are misunderstood, love yourself first as in you need to place yourself as one of the top priorities. then you set bottom line for yourself and that should any1 cross that line, you have to take actions to safeguard yourself. for all other matters, it's a case by case scenario. gymfreak 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suckmegood Posted January 21, 2019 Report Share Posted January 21, 2019 35 minutes ago, blowmenow said: proper closure is better than disappearing act... i think its basic courtesy too... why some cant man up and speak out nicely sigh... When the man is not man enough.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garyl Posted January 21, 2019 Report Share Posted January 21, 2019 Don't think it's a man thing.. Need to explain when all are just players? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thorzguy Posted January 21, 2019 Report Share Posted January 21, 2019 15 hours ago, gymfreak said: If you know your playmate already have a bf, will you still stick to him or give him up? Let’s say that u really like him, emotionally and physically... If your playmate is in an open relationship, I do not see why not. However, you may probably meet up with his bf (to introduce the presence of you or even play together). I used to have this FB buddies - they are a couple. Let's name them C and M. I got to know M first; played once or twice. Then one day, met C. M told me C is his "good friend". C did not deny. And over a period of 2 to 3 years, I ended up meeting C more often than M, though there were sessions that involved the 3 of us or more. It was only after a year or so, that C told me that M is actually his bf. Much as C assured me that M is perfectly alright with him playing around, I could sense that M was getting not too pleased about it. (The couple or C have definitely more than one FB, besides me). I then start to retreat - by not meeting them as often and slowly no more physical contact. As what @Gympump had shared about his experiences - it happened to me as well. Both C and M just disappeared just like that. I had also thought what has happened to them - no reply on texts. There are just so many reasons to why the sudden disappearance. So long they are both doing alright, (M is on my social media and I can see he is doing fine) I am happy for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Little Bear Uncle Posted January 21, 2019 Report Share Posted January 21, 2019 I've met this open couple. They invited me to a 3some. Out of curiosity, I went but I was uncomfortable or feeling guilty conscious so I just do hugging and jo with them. But the bottom always try to hug me down and expose my butt for his hubby. I'm flexible bottom so when the hubby probed my hole, he was excited. But I didn't want to be too involved with them sexually so I declined. After I left, the hubby kept texting me for meet up one on one. I told him I'm not interested because I'm not comfortable. He said that's their couple's business and frankly, he liked me more. Anyway, one day we bumped into each other unplanned and after a few beers, I ended up on his bed and he had his fun. After that, we had sex a few times at his place always without his bf around. Then one night while we were having sex, his bf came home with another top. They literally caught us in bed with my legs on his bf's shoulders. They were totally casual about it. So casual that they passed me to the top guy and the two tops gang banged me while the bottom just watched. To be honest, the sex was fantastic and I've tried gang banged before. During sex, there's these dirty talks about me joining their regular group sex and "marrying" me to another top. They even added me to their Line group. After sex when I'm home and cooled down, I realized that they were recruiting me for their free sex group. When I logged in to the Line group, since it was already late after that gang bang, there's only one person in the group. So I chatted with him. Immediately, he knew I had been gang banged just now. OMG, the top was their sex critic send to sample me sexually and he wrote a sampling field report about me, complete with body statistics ASL, muscles, smoothness and even my ass, my responses to his probing... And the final verdict was I'm a complete whore playing hard to get, but once penetrated is a total slut. I need a hubby to hold me into the group. I was like OMG! the guy that I chatted with was another bottom and he told me about their group sex or partner swapping. OMG, what have I gotten myself into? I blocked all of them immediately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garyl Posted January 21, 2019 Report Share Posted January 21, 2019 6 minutes ago, Guest Little Bear Uncle said: I've met this open couple. They invited me to a 3some. Out of curiosity, I went but I was uncomfortable or feeling guilty conscious so I just do hugging and jo with them. But the bottom always try to hug me down and expose my butt for his hubby. I'm flexible bottom so when the hubby probed my hole, he was excited. But I didn't want to be too involved with them sexually so I declined. After I left, the hubby kept texting me for meet up one on one. I told him I'm not interested because I'm not comfortable. He said that's their couple's business and frankly, he liked me more. Anyway, one day we bumped into each other unplanned and after a few beers, I ended up on his bed and he had his fun. After that, we had sex a few times at his place always without his bf around. Then one night while we were having sex, his bf came home with another top. They literally caught us in bed with my legs on his bf's shoulders. They were totally casual about it. So casual that they passed me to the top guy and the two tops gang banged me while the bottom just watched. To be honest, the sex was fantastic and I've tried gang banged before. During sex, there's these dirty talks about me joining their regular group sex and "marrying" me to another top. They even added me to their Line group. After sex when I'm home and cooled down, I realized that they were recruiting me for their free sex group. When I logged in to the Line group, since it was already late after that gang bang, there's only one person in the group. So I chatted with him. Immediately, he knew I had been gang banged just now. OMG, the top was their sex critic send to sample me sexually and he wrote a sampling field report about me, complete with body statistics ASL, muscles, smoothness and even my ass, my responses to his probing... And the final verdict was I'm a complete whore playing hard to get, but once penetrated is a total slut. I need a hubby to hold me into the group. I was like OMG! the guy that I chatted with was another bottom and he told me about their group sex or partner swapping. OMG, what have I gotten myself into? I blocked all of them immediately. You sure its the same? I know of at least 5 couples that fits descriptions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raveology Posted January 21, 2019 Report Share Posted January 21, 2019 20 hours ago, gymfreak said: If you know your playmate already have a bf, will you still stick to him or give him up? Let’s say that u really like him, emotionally and physically... prob give up n get an actual bf ba? cont sticking to him will prob be 'toxic' to his relationship and yourself. like, u prob feel guilty bout it when u get older? besides, if you love him so much, why not ask him for relationship? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Creevie Posted January 21, 2019 Report Share Posted January 21, 2019 desensitizes u to those married straight friends who fool around right? like "what is morals?" right? I have also done things with someone who's attached. sigh... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garyl Posted January 21, 2019 Report Share Posted January 21, 2019 Think properly.. the best playmate ususally will not be the best lifemate.. zyjd 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowball Posted January 21, 2019 Report Share Posted January 21, 2019 第三者似乎注定是悲剧人物 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Creevie Posted January 21, 2019 Report Share Posted January 21, 2019 8 minutes ago, Garyl said: Think properly.. the best playmate ususally will not be the best lifemate.. very good perspective. quite true. Just now, snowball said: 第三者似乎注定是悲剧人物 因为始终不道德吧 Garyl 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jack Posted January 21, 2019 Report Share Posted January 21, 2019 Threesome Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sum1outhere_03 Posted January 21, 2019 Report Share Posted January 21, 2019 (edited) To be honest, I have one experience of such situation... Of which I was the third party of the relationship. I met him during my studying days, he claimed to be bi, but found out that he was PLU and had a boyfriend at that time. He probably thought it was a one-time off ONS thing, but we prolly hit off well so he would call me whenever he was high on beer. I would spend overnight at his house sometimes and occasionally, we had fun. However not sure if I had given enough him that I wanted to be a minimally fuck buddy, I found out later that he had a boyfriend then. At that moment, I felt that I had cheated on someone whom may not have even known my existence. There were of course, times where he did not felt like having fun (but I did since I was young and horny), but he of course gently pushed me away. He even called his bf when I was around, which made me even more mad, although I was in the wrong in the first place. After having meeting him for even a few more rounds (only remembered having 1 last round of fun), I didn't know how and when I had the courage - I decided not to pick up his message or would close my messenger when I was online, after which he probably got the signal that I was not "interested" in him anymore. Oh, before that he sent me his link of his facebook, so I also happen to find out how his boyfriend looked like, but they had trips and spent times together. By that time, he told me his family is moving house, and hence we stopped contact thereafter. After a few years I happened to bump into him at a train station, managed to say hi but because it was in the rush hour so didn't manage to have a chance to stop longer, which was a good thing, perhaps. It's prolly in the 10 years after meeting him and leaving him. I guess I would have made the same choice and not regret because I am a believer of karma, regardless of my religion, which is also one of the reasons I stopped meeting him totally. Unless he and his boyfriend have acknowledge my existence, and they have prior agreement in this so called "open relationship" (I don't mind having fun even to the extend of 3P ), I would not have stepped into this relationship and be the third party. Edited January 21, 2019 by sum1outhere_03 Creevie 1 Quote Will you be my valentine's? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
repressednerd Posted January 21, 2019 Report Share Posted January 21, 2019 When you are not faced with that situation, you will generally say that you will give him up, but when you are faced with that situation, even if you tell yourself to give him up, your heart won't want to give him up. So you end up just finding ways to nurse your heart, trying to stop it from grabbing every chance to have a relationship with that guy, until you do no contact or find out something about him that you dislike. gymfreak and Creevie 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IMChinese Posted January 21, 2019 Report Share Posted January 21, 2019 1 minute ago, repressednerd said: When you are not faced with that situation, you will generally say that you will give him up, but when you are faced with that situation, even if you tell yourself to give him up, your heart won't want to give him up. So you end up just finding ways to nurse your heart, trying to stop it from grabbing every chance to have a relationship with that guy, until you do no contact or find out something about him that you dislike. Yea. I do agree. It's not a nice situation nor position to be in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gymfreak Posted January 21, 2019 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2019 (edited) Removed ... Edited October 24, 2019 by gymfreak Not relevant anymore Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garyl Posted January 22, 2019 Report Share Posted January 22, 2019 8 hours ago, gymfreak said: Actually I know him n played before he got attached... then I asked him if he and A is dating, he denied and said A is not his type. Then few months down, I felt he no longer as interested towards me as before... I asked him what happened. He said A proposed to him again and what should he do... I said if u like him then just go with ur heart... then he said ok n that means he cannot meet me anymore ... I felt at a loss, I gave the blessing at the same time I felt rejected. But after so talk, we remain be FB meanwhile he and A get together. It has been already few months and I felt very jealous when ever he is with A and cannot even reply my msg. Maybe I too overpossesive until one day he felt so stress ask me not to treat him as his bf , just remain as a FB... I don’t know how to describe my feeling at this point... I don’t want to loose him... I just try to control myself... but it’s very hurting ... very .... when even I look back when initially how he always msg me , trying to woo me, compare to now, I feel like crying, although I’m already an old man! We all made mistakes.. if you are not together before he is attached, you should have thought of this.. Heart will feel pain until one day it no no longer hurts..... My advice is delete every memory and number if you really want to move on.. If not, you are really wasting your life.. there are people who wanted to live longer but cant.. Try to live better.. no matter how difficult IMChinese, Joseph Tan and gymfreak 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gympump Posted January 22, 2019 Report Share Posted January 22, 2019 8 hours ago, gymfreak said: Actually I know him n played before he got attached... then I asked him if he and A is dating, he denied and said A is not his type. Then few months down, I felt he no longer as interested towards me as before... I asked him what happened. He said A proposed to him again and what should he do... I said if u like him then just go with ur heart... then he said ok n that means he cannot meet me anymore ... I felt at a loss, I gave the blessing at the same time I felt rejected. But after so talk, we remain be FB meanwhile he and A get together. It has been already few months and I felt very jealous when ever he is with A and cannot even reply my msg. Maybe I too overpossesive until one day he felt so stress ask me not to treat him as his bf , just remain as a FB... I don’t know how to describe my feeling at this point... I don’t want to loose him... I just try to control myself... but it’s very hurting ... very .... when even I look back when initially how he always msg me , trying to woo me, compare to now, I feel like crying, although I’m already an old man! The bus is missed, look for another one while recovering from the sadness. gymfreak 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancrew Posted October 20, 2019 Report Share Posted October 20, 2019 On 1/22/2019 at 12:21 AM, gymfreak said: Actually I know him n played before he got attached... then I asked him if he and A is dating, he denied and said A is not his type. Then few months down, I felt he no longer as interested towards me as before... I asked him what happened. He said A proposed to him again and what should he do... I said if u like him then just go with ur heart... then he said ok n that means he cannot meet me anymore ... I felt at a loss, I gave the blessing at the same time I felt rejected. But after so talk, we remain be FB meanwhile he and A get together. It has been already few months and I felt very jealous when ever he is with A and cannot even reply my msg. Maybe I too overpossesive until one day he felt so stress ask me not to treat him as his bf , just remain as a FB... I don’t know how to describe my feeling at this point... I don’t want to loose him... I just try to control myself... but it’s very hurting ... very .... when even I look back when initially how he always msg me , trying to woo me, compare to now, I feel like crying, although I’m already an old man! I feel u bro.... as time go by will slowly forget the hurt one... but not 100%... its part of our memories... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yag123123 Posted October 20, 2019 Report Share Posted October 20, 2019 On 1/21/2019 at 8:07 AM, fab said: No. If he can betray his current, he can do it again. Next! That is true to some extend What if...he suddenly comes to his senses when he is with that person... I was like this..but i was young and it is not because i wanna play around...it is because i cant accept my sextuality at that point of time.. Until that one individual changed it all and left me... Karma is a bitch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yag123123 Posted October 20, 2019 Report Share Posted October 20, 2019 On 1/20/2019 at 11:46 PM, gymfreak said: If you know your playmate already have a bf, will you still stick to him or give him up? Let’s say that u really like him, emotionally and physically... Your play mate need to choose and so should you... What if ...one day...his bf finds out...went full on suicidal..and actually did it... Will you be blaming yourself then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CuriousTony Posted October 20, 2019 Report Share Posted October 20, 2019 well it depends upon sex or love? hahah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yag123123 Posted October 20, 2019 Report Share Posted October 20, 2019 8 minutes ago, dancrew said: I feel u bro.... as time go by will slowly forget the hurt one... but not 100%... its part of our memories... Erm mine still hurt like fk Like got tears and all I prayed for the well being of that person, brushed off my tears accepting fate and stand up again, each and everytime.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Terry Chan Posted October 21, 2019 Report Share Posted October 21, 2019 I wonder if anyone has any stories of gays who attempted or commit suicide because of a third party came into their relationship ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Principled bear Posted November 9, 2019 Report Share Posted November 9, 2019 On 1/21/2019 at 9:48 AM, Gympump said: I will ask for their opinion. I used to have a buddy that we meet up occasionally for sex a few times a year. One day after many years, he told me he is attached and they are having open relationship. I even had a 3some with both of them, so the bf know who I am. I did not initiate any meetups after that and he will call me up for one on one sex occasionally. We did not really talk about relationship matters over the years. During our last meetup he told me that when we were younger, he was interested in me being his bf. I did not remember at all. He insisted he told me about it. We had a good laugh, chatted more about this over the night. Next few days we carry on messaging each other on whatsapp casualy. Then he disappear suddenly. That ended our years of friendship. it’s very bad karma being in between couples. I personally have been there done that and been on both sides - if u are in a relationship, give your best to your partner and stop being a slut. Cos once u are distracted, the quality of the relationship suffers. Unfortunately, most gay guys are promiscuous. one may think love is love sex is sex but love without sex ... u will find your lover giving his love away soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FattChoy Posted November 9, 2019 Report Share Posted November 9, 2019 On 1/21/2019 at 7:49 PM, Guest Little Bear Uncle said: So I chatted with him. Immediately, he knew I had been gang banged just now. OMG, the top was their sex critic send to sample me sexually and he wrote a sampling field report about me, complete with body statistics ASL, muscles, smoothness and even my ass, my responses to his probing... And the final verdict was I'm a complete whore playing hard to get, but once penetrated is a total slut. I need a hubby to hold me into the group. I was like OMG! the guy that I chatted with was another bottom and he told me about their group sex or partner swapping. OMG, what have I gotten myself into? I blocked all of them immediately. Lucky he didn't put this in Google Map review. You'd probably have to move overseas to avoid becoming the new Golden Lotus of Sg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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