Guest Romeo Posted January 22, 2019 Report Share Posted January 22, 2019 I don't know why I'm so afraid of looking people in the eye to the point that my heartrate will increase dramatically and feel very panicky. I will try to avoid ppl as much as i can cause i feel so socially exhausted. I just want to be alone. But ppl think im angry at them thats why i dun look at them. Its getting worse n worse. I thought as long as i finished my job i dun have to care about all socialising with ppl. I guess im wrong. It affects ppl ard me. What happen to me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coolbriz Posted January 22, 2019 Report Share Posted January 22, 2019 Oh Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou.. Hello! Lots of assumptions here since there is very little info you have given. Assuming your job requires you to interact with people; assuming you have just entered the working society, it’s a social skill that you might need to pick up. I was initially quite like you, nervous when talking to new faces and especially on one to one. My voice would tremble as I speak. You could perhaps try to adjust your current habit of looking elsewhere when talking to someone. For a start, perhaps look in the direction of the person but not necessarily eye to eye. Keep doing this until you are ready to look into the person’s eyes. Of course, I know you will fall back to your comfort zone whenever you could to be alone. But use that as a reward/break after attempting to improve on your interactions with people around you. For colleagues, you could just be upfront and share with them how nervous you feel when interacting with them and I’m sure they will help you or give you time to adjust. It’s better this way than to create misperception of you being stuck up. All in all, you don’t really have to force yourself to socialise all the way but it certainly helps to make friends with people you work with and beyond. Cheers! Quote Be cool, like a breeze... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted January 22, 2019 Report Share Posted January 22, 2019 37 minutes ago, Guest Romeo said: I don't know why I'm so afraid of looking people in the eye to the point that my heartrate will increase dramatically and feel very panicky. I will try to avoid ppl as much as i can cause i feel so socially exhausted. I just want to be alone. But ppl think im angry at them thats why i dun look at them. Its getting worse n worse. I thought as long as i finished my job i dun have to care about all socialising with ppl. I guess im wrong. It affects ppl ard me. What happen to me? Its quite normal to feel ex cited when you something u like , Its normal to have butterflies in the stomach. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest disclosed yourself Posted January 22, 2019 Report Share Posted January 22, 2019 I also feel very shy when I meet the man of my dreams. I blush and my heart goes aflutter, my heartbeat goes up... and my panties underwear get wet with anticipation Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest anti mosquito detergent Posted January 22, 2019 Report Share Posted January 22, 2019 1 minute ago, Guest disclosed yourself said: I also feel very shy when I meet the man of my dreams. I blush and my heart goes aflutter, my heartbeat goes up... and my panties underwear get wet with anticipation Don't hijack my account again? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest anti mosquito detergent Posted January 22, 2019 Report Share Posted January 22, 2019 17 minutes ago, Guest Guest said: Its quite normal to feel ex cited when you something u like , Its normal to have butterflies in the stomach. 13 minutes ago, Guest disclosed yourself said: I also feel very shy when I meet the man of my dreams. I blush and my heart goes aflutter, my heartbeat goes up... and my panties underwear get wet with anticipation 12 minutes ago, Guest anti mosquito detergent said: Don't hijack my account again? But sorry this is all from you! Play your games . go on. until the Moderators write to your telcom provider, then you will see the result..... Sunt item, quae appellantur alces. Harum est consimilis capris figura et varietas pellium, sed magnitudine paulo antecedunt mutilaeque sunt cornibus et crura sine nodis articulisque habent neque quietis causa procumbunt neque, si quo adflictae casu conciderunt, erigere sese aut sublevare possunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest xjun Posted January 22, 2019 Report Share Posted January 22, 2019 (edited) Are you an introvert? Maybe you have social anxiety. How you know people are angry with you? Try not to imagine things. Edited January 22, 2019 by xjun Grammar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The.Intrv. Posted January 23, 2019 Report Share Posted January 23, 2019 9 hours ago, Guest Romeo said: I don't know why I'm so afraid of looking people in the eye to the point that my heartrate will increase dramatically and feel very panicky. I will try to avoid ppl as much as i can cause i feel so socially exhausted. I just want to be alone. But ppl think im angry at them thats why i dun look at them. Its getting worse n worse. I thought as long as i finished my job i dun have to care about all socialising with ppl. I guess im wrong. It affects ppl ard me. What happen to me? Social anxiety is a chore. I emphatize. Woe. Professional help would be a good start. Quote For these flaws I lament. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest anti mosquito detergent Posted January 23, 2019 Report Share Posted January 23, 2019 4 minutes ago, The.Intrv. said: Social anxiety is a chore. I emphatize. Woe. Professional help would be a good start. I think I need professional hell. Where to get? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alponsu Posted January 23, 2019 Report Share Posted January 23, 2019 Mmm sometimes maybe a small gesture will help? Since CNY around the corner, like drop them a little gift on their desks with personal written card. Then you don't have to physically say anything to anyone, and hopefully they will warm up over time. However you choose to do, good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest comment Posted January 23, 2019 Report Share Posted January 23, 2019 2 hours ago, The.Intrv. said: Social anxiety is a chore. I emphatize. Woe. Professional help would be a good start. Must not bee professional help. Just open up to a good friend first. Tell him what is the problem and get some help to overcome the issues. Anyway being friendly and more accommodating brings you more forward in life. Not being able to look at other people and their eyes. For what reason do you feel inferior or guilty? Learn to be more self accepting and appreciate what you have achieved. There is no need to look down on yourself. Maybe you are the nicest and kindest person in the world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Latte Posted January 23, 2019 Report Share Posted January 23, 2019 The only way to overcome your fear is to confront it. Maybe you can start looking ppl in the eye in low risk situations instead of starting in your work place. Examples of lower risk situations: look at the cashier in the eye when you make payment; asking strangers for directions; acknowledging the receptionist at the gym; buying food from your favorite hawker etc. There are many daily situations where you can practice looking at ppl in the eye, notwithstanding the anxiety you initially feel inside. Here's a write up of the psychology of fear: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/201009/overcoming-fear-the-only-way-out-is-through Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2019 Report Share Posted January 23, 2019 13 hours ago, Guest disclosed yourself said: I also feel very shy when I meet the man of my dreams. I blush and my heart goes aflutter, my heartbeat goes up... and my panties underwear get wet with anticipation panties got wet in anticipation......a drenching. Reactions. Siew tou fu lart.(Cantonese). Literally , laugh until my trousers got detached. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2019 Report Share Posted January 23, 2019 4 hours ago, Guest anti mosquito detergent said: I think I need professional hell. Where to get? Psychologist literally 吃蛇 while client babbled on . He went for a sandwich. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
auscent Posted January 23, 2019 Report Share Posted January 23, 2019 No need to surrender all power to others. U too have ur rights to feel good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve5380 Posted January 24, 2019 Report Share Posted January 24, 2019 On 1/22/2019 at 9:37 AM, Guest Romeo said: I don't know why I'm so afraid of looking people in the eye to the point that my heartrate will increase dramatically and feel very panicky. I will try to avoid ppl as much as i can cause i feel so socially exhausted. I just want to be alone. But ppl think im angry at them thats why i dun look at them. Its getting worse n worse. I thought as long as i finished my job i dun have to care about all socialising with ppl. I guess im wrong. It affects ppl ard me. What happen to me? Could it be that you always feel DIFFERENT from other people, sometimes inferior, some times superior, but never equal? This is what I felt most of my life. Until I recently had a loss totally out of my control that left me devastated and realizing that the soul, the spirit has zero value and it is only the part of a living body that controls its functioning while the body is alive. It was in this spirit of negativity that something positive happened to me. For the first time I started seeing other people as EQUALS (!) in this dark destiny that gives us the fantasy of having special value. People I like, people I dislike, for me they now share our common curse of one day returning to the nothing we were before being born. The effect is that now any person, stranger or acquaintance, friend or foe, is an EQUAL, and I start to like people more. It is a new empathy. Shyness, unsocial feelings, wanting to be alone, all this has lost its importance. I lost the reasons to stay away from mortals like me. And this has now left me open to new feelings to be WITH them! No more fear to look in the eye people who were superior to me in any way. They have become EQUALS, and now looking in their eyes I make contact with a human peer. I don't wish you any devastating experience like I had. Hopefully you will find other ways to feel EQUAL to other people, no matter if younger or older, gay or straight, gorgeous or ugly, stronger or weaker, richer or poorer.. If so, all social problems may go away, replaced by a natural gregariousness of individuals of the same species. (without having to deal with psychologists, shrinks!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest comment Posted January 24, 2019 Report Share Posted January 24, 2019 3 hours ago, Steve5380 said: Could it be that you always feel DIFFERENT from other people, sometimes inferior, some times superior, but never equal? This is what I felt most of my life. Until I recently had a loss totally out of my control that left me devastated and realizing that the soul, the spirit has zero value and it is only the part of a living body that controls its functioning while the body is alive. It was in this spirit of negativity that something positive happened to me. For the first time I started seeing other people as EQUALS (!) in this dark destiny that gives us the fantasy of having special value. People I like, people I dislike, for me they now share our common curse of one day returning to the nothing we were before being born. The effect is that now any person, stranger or acquaintance, friend or foe, is an EQUAL, and I start to like people more. It is a new empathy. Shyness, unsocial feelings, wanting to be alone, all this has lost its importance. I lost the reasons to stay away from mortals like me. And this has now left me open to new feelings to be WITH them! No more fear to look in the eye people who were superior to me in any way. They have become EQUALS, and now looking in their eyes I make contact with a human peer. I don't wish you any devastating experience like I had. Hopefully you will find other ways to feel EQUAL to other people, no matter if younger or older, gay or straight, gorgeous or ugly, stronger or weaker, richer or poorer.. If so, all social problems may go away, replaced by a natural gregariousness of individuals of the same species. (without having to deal with psychologists, shrinks!) Steve, it might work, but there are situations where professional help is seriously recommended. But I don't see the need here either at least not directly. The threadstarter should ask himself, why he has this objection to look at other people or look into their eyes. I think it helps to speak out to a very good friend first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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