Why people don't follow up after chat? (compiled）

[Guest why why why]

Why people don't follow up even though they have shown interest in you on Grindr and Jackd?

 

I thought things will get better after adding each other on Telegram or WhatsApp. Since you are willing to add me, you must be have at least a little interest in me but the behavior is still the same.

 

Is it because most of us are lazy, scare of being rejected or trying to play hard to get?

 

It's so tiring to be the one doing the messaging.

 

And people stop replying totally sometimes for no reason. Then why add me in the first place?

 

 

[Guest metoo]

I personally find to start a relationship thru grindr, tinder etc is not easy. People tend to get disinterest easily and find new targets interesting.

Should meet gays physically through social activities, classmates, co-workers etc where u can see, listen and assess their characters from there

[Guest Little Bear Uncle]

3 hours ago, Guest why why why said:

Why people don't follow up even though they have shown interest in you on Grindr and Jackd?

 

I thought things will get better after adding each other on Telegram or WhatsApp. Since you are willing to add me, you must be have at least a little interest in me but the behavior is still the same.

 

Is it because most of us are lazy, scare of being rejected or trying to play hard to get?

 

It's so tiring to be the one doing the messaging.

 

And people stop replying totally sometimes for no reason. Then why add me in the first place?

 

 

They are weighting the possibility of meeting for sex. If you keep beating around the bush, they'll stop texting you because they are already texting a few at the same time waiting for one to say sex ok.

After that sex, they'll add more and text everyone waiting for the next sex. 

If you read their messages between the lines and you still don't get the message and respond accordingly also between the lines, then they think you're a time waster. They are not interested in chatting even though their profiles said so. It's a game of reading between the lines. Few will say right out "SEX" but it's understood.

[Guest It is ME]

TS is probably referring to people like me.  Like me put it in perspective why I hate to respond:

 

1)  Messaging each other can become a draining habbit, time wasting and a never ending chores if the other party felt obligated to respond and waiting for the other to put an end to the entire conversation.

 

2)   It became too superficial if both parties became over-reliance on just messaging and nothing else.

 

3)  There are certain protocols that needs to be observed.  I personally stay away from physical phones when I am busy at home and there are certain time I do not wish to answer my phone via messaging because i AM EXTREMELY TIRED, HAVE OTHER IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO OR WHILE WATCHING A GOOD MOVIES OR READING A GOOD BOOK OR HAVING CONVERSATION WITH FAMILY MEMBERS OR HAVING MEETING WITH BOSS OR BUSY WITH WORK...the list goes on.

 

4)  If I sensed the other party being too needy, too possessive, too flirtatious, too free and kept disturbing my peace and my time.  I would send a "no respond" message by not responding.  

[Guest Anonymous]

TS, just don't be a "nice guy" 

If people don't follow up, just let it go. Don't put too much pressure on yourself on dating apps. 

[Guest why why why]

4 hours ago, Guest It is ME said:

TS is probably referring to people like me.  Like me put it in perspective why I hate to respond:

 

1)  Messaging each other can become a draining habbit, time wasting and a never ending chores if the other party felt obligated to respond and waiting for the other to put an end to the entire conversation.

 

2)   It became too superficial if both parties became over-reliance on just messaging and nothing else.

 

3)  There are certain protocols that needs to be observed.  I personally stay away from physical phones when I am busy at home and there are certain time I do not wish to answer my phone via messaging because i AM EXTREMELY TIRED, HAVE OTHER IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO OR WHILE WATCHING A GOOD MOVIES OR READING A GOOD BOOK OR HAVING CONVERSATION WITH FAMILY MEMBERS OR HAVING MEETING WITH BOSS OR BUSY WITH WORK...the list goes on.

 

4)  If I sensed the other party being too needy, too possessive, too flirtatious, too free and kept disturbing my peace and my time.  I would send a "no respond" message by not responding.  

 

Thanks for your inputs. Everyone is tired and busy.

 

Just curious. Assuming you are also looking for someone, how would you like to be approached?

 

From what I read above, there is no empty time slot to contact you without disturb you. And how would he know what time you are free to receive his message?

[Guest Selfish]

6 hours ago, Guest It is ME said:

TS is probably referring to people like me.  Like me put it in perspective why I hate to respond:

 

1)  Messaging each other can become a draining habbit, time wasting and a never ending chores if the other party felt obligated to respond and waiting for the other to put an end to the entire conversation.

 

2)   It became too superficial if both parties became over-reliance on just messaging and nothing else.

 

3)  There are certain protocols that needs to be observed.  I personally stay away from physical phones when I am busy at home and there are certain time I do not wish to answer my phone via messaging because i AM EXTREMELY TIRED, HAVE OTHER IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO OR WHILE WATCHING A GOOD MOVIES OR READING A GOOD BOOK OR HAVING CONVERSATION WITH FAMILY MEMBERS OR HAVING MEETING WITH BOSS OR BUSY WITH WORK...the list goes on.

 

4)  If I sensed the other party being too needy, too possessive, too flirtatious, too free and kept disturbing my peace and my time.  I would send a "no respond" message by not responding.  

This is the kind of people I would avoid totally because he thinks the whole universe moves and stops for him only. 

[Guest Teehee]

19 hours ago, Guest why why why said:

Why people don't follow up even though they have shown interest in you on Grindr and Jackd?

 

I thought things will get better after adding each other on Telegram or WhatsApp. Since you are willing to add me, you must be have at least a little interest in me but the behavior is still the same.

 

Is it because most of us are lazy, scare of being rejected or trying to play hard to get?

 

It's so tiring to be the one doing the messaging.

 

And people stop replying totally sometimes for no reason. Then why add me in the first place?

 

 

 

I'm guessing it all has to do with interest. For example recently i met up with a guy just because we were into discussing porn and sharing porn that we have downloaded. So whenever we meet for a beer or coffee we exchange hardisk and just have a simple chat. The key is not to have expectation. Everyone has their own interest and if that same interest is still present i think u can always find activity to do so/have a follow up.

 

For me and my friend (he is around 50 Plus while i'm 29), we both understand that we are clearly not interested in one another (though we are friends) due to the age difference but we still meet every once in awhile to exchange porn and i do quite like this (lets not disturb one another till we have some reason to meet kind). The idea is to have respect i guess. We have been meeting 4-5 times in the 5 months we have met (average once a month) just to exchange our porn and have a good decent chat.

 

If you are into long chat and decent relationship i think its better to state it upfront so that people will know your expectation. If both can agree but ultimately only one commits then you should take the hint that this person may not be interested. Though at first many will seem like they are but it's ultimately the whole conversation that has been taking place that gets you to where u are today. So just because it was a match from the start doesn't mean it will be a match moving forward. Expect less and be honest. I think it will be easier on both side.

 

All the best !

 

[Wafflecorn]

I think it is a culture thing. Where dudes don't reply either he isn't interested or he is like... busy. I used to reply to everyone who drops me a message, out of courtesy. There are the few who you really like and you would like to bring the text-buddy situation further but you just ended up getting ignored. It gets really draining and I think after a while, not responding has become a way of people telling others "Sorry, not interested or emotionally unavailable now. NEXT!". I think that is fine, just move on and find someone else who likes you for you and would give you the same level of attention or respect you would give, to him.

 

Then again, there are special assholes with life motto of "Your Misery is My Pleasure" sort of shit. You can just troll these sort of asshole, for the fun of it.

[HydroNaut]

22 hours ago, Guest why why why said:

Why people don't follow up even though they have shown interest in you on Grindr and Jackd?

 

I thought things will get better after adding each other on Telegram or WhatsApp. Since you are willing to add me, you must be have at least a little interest in me but the behavior is still the same.

 

Is it because most of us are lazy, scare of being rejected or trying to play hard to get?

 

It's so tiring to be the one doing the messaging.

 

And people stop replying totally sometimes for no reason. Then why add me in the first place?

 

 

 

You are typical a book among all the other books on his shelf. Sometimes you pick up a book, read a few pages...maybe at the most leave a bookmark there to continue when you are free or might not continue reading that book anymore if the contents dun entice you to read further. 

 

You might just be a book as part of a collection.

Moral of the story, good book are not left on the shelves.

[Guest Reality]

On 3/24/2019 at 5:06 PM, Guest why why why said:

Why people don't follow up even though they have shown interest in you on Grindr and Jackd?

 

I thought things will get better after adding each other on Telegram or WhatsApp. Since you are willing to add me, you must be have at least a little interest in me but the behavior is still the same.

 

Is it because most of us are lazy, scare of being rejected or trying to play hard to get?

 

It's so tiring to be the one doing the messaging.

 

And people stop replying totally sometimes for no reason. Then why add me in the first place?

 

 

There are other men they are interested in, its easy to get wandering eyes as there are always more attractive men on the app than you. Those apps are more for hookups only.

[pusheenpika]

22 hours ago, Guest It is ME said:

TS is probably referring to people like me.  Like me put it in perspective why I hate to respond:

 

1)  Messaging each other can become a draining habbit, time wasting and a never ending chores if the other party felt obligated to respond and waiting for the other to put an end to the entire conversation.

 

2)   It became too superficial if both parties became over-reliance on just messaging and nothing else.

 

3)  There are certain protocols that needs to be observed.  I personally stay away from physical phones when I am busy at home and there are certain time I do not wish to answer my phone via messaging because i AM EXTREMELY TIRED, HAVE OTHER IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO OR WHILE WATCHING A GOOD MOVIES OR READING A GOOD BOOK OR HAVING CONVERSATION WITH FAMILY MEMBERS OR HAVING MEETING WITH BOSS OR BUSY WITH WORK...the list goes on.

 

4)  If I sensed the other party being too needy, too possessive, too flirtatious, too free and kept disturbing my peace and my time.  I would send a "no respond" message by not responding.  

Rude. 

 

#1 healthy relationships don't need to be draining. Why is there a need to sit and wait for the person to reply? Unless you're the one sitting and waiting. And no one replies. Because you seem to be detailing what happens really well.

 

#2 superficial? How is texting superficial? Looking at a picture and deciding he's not the one based on purely his looks is superficial. By texting, it already means you've gone beyond superficiality. You're just being rude by ignoring. 

 

#3 honestly, you're beginning to sound needy.  You have 1001 reasons not to reply so you look really important and busy. We all might take a while to reply, because life, but giving someone the cold shoulder without reason is plain rude. 

 

#4 Grow some balls little boy. If you're not interested, be upfront. Why so passive aggressive? Oh wait, you probably like the attention more than anything. 

 

 

 

Edited March 25, 2019 by pusheenpika

[lonelyglobe]

On Sunday, March 24, 2019 at 7:19 PM, Guest metoo said:

I personally find to start a relationship thru grindr, tinder etc is not easy. People tend to get disinterest easily and find new targets interesting.

Should meet gays physically through social activities, classmates, co-workers etc where u can see, listen and assess their characters from there

Isn't this a very common thing in this circle, always looking for fresh meat? Meet in person also difficult because a lot are so call discreet and live in closet until u dont know how to find them.

[fab]

They are just not that into u.

 

Cold harsh truth.

[Guest Wrong]

19 hours ago, Guest Selfish said:

This is the kind of people I would avoid totally because he thinks the whole universe moves and stops for him only. 

Apparently u are referring to TS. U barked at the wrong tree on 'it is ME'.

 

[Guest why why why]

Most of the gays rather spend time posting topless pics of themselves or selfies on IG acting cute.

 

Then most CMI (Cannot make it) ones will go around liking these profiles.

 

The more popular ones will form a cliche with others who are equally popular. They will sometimes meet up and take a group welfies. Again, the CMI will go like the photos.

 

Some are already in their 30s and most of them are still single. 

 

They don't know the whole world is watching and judging them. Haha

[lonely57]

People tend to be in denial. They say are looking for friends for chat or what not but when one comes along that just chats they go missing after a while because what they actually want is sex. All men are the same. 

[vera.]

21 hours ago, lonely57 said:

People tend to be in denial. They say are looking for friends for chat or what not but when one comes along that just chats they go missing after a while because what they actually want is sex. All men are the same. 

[Guest It is ME]

On 3/25/2019 at 2:50 AM, Guest why why why said:

Just curious. Assuming you are also looking for someone, how would you like to be approached?

 

From what I read above, there is no empty time slot to contact you without disturb you. And how would he know what time you are free to receive his message?

Oh well, Oh Well.  I would like the person to suggest a time slot for tea, movie or a walk in the park.  Face-to-face chats, time solely allocated just for the two person to spend together - feel the mood, the person, his tones and expressions and everything he wished to share on the spot.   If either one reject such invitiations, than move on, there is no love.  If either party accept, there is chance of relationship acceptance.

 

Messaging, won't lead yo to a relationship build-up, one will eventually get tired if he happens to be busy , moody and the "ringing" messages only aggravate the situation which you wouldn't know.   He may cut-you off unintentionally depending on what happens behind the scene when your message came in.  He probably will entertain just to show politeness, but you are likely to continue or follow-up after that, and could be quite frustrating for him to sort things out in the midst of other things.  Even then, if all messaging went well, day after days, where will it lead to?  Probably someday, it will  still end abruptly -  without any meetings - time and effort on messaging is best spend on something else.   

 

Ya, called me selfish, i don't care.

[HydroNaut]

On 3/26/2019 at 11:49 PM, lonely57 said:

People tend to be in denial. They say are looking for friends for chat or what not but when one comes along that just chats they go missing after a while because what they actually want is sex. All men are the same. 

 

Yeah....and nowadays i also see so many put "Attached" and they posted online looking for friends.

Sorry for being skeptical. Looking for friends in an apps when it is mainly for hookups? 

 

Maybe they might be just looking for better shores to go onboard. Lol...

 

 

[Guest Jeremy]

On 3/28/2019 at 12:04 PM, HydroNaut said:

 

Yeah....and nowadays i also see so many put "Attached" and they posted online looking for friends.

Sorry for being skeptical. Looking for friends in an apps when it is mainly for hookups? 

 

Maybe they might be just looking for better shores to go onboard. Lol...

 

 

 

Same exact thought

[Guest why why]

It's a long journey from the first message, "Hi" on Grindr to exchanging WhatsApp / Telegram to carry on the conversation.

 

But why most or almost all people don't follow up after that. No further reply when I try to arrange a meet up.

 

Then what's the point of giving me your WhatsApp / Telegram? Doesn't that mean you are interested in the first place? Are you really that busy or lazy?

 

Things are made worse these days with disappearing phots and the ability to delete history on Telegram. 

 

Even after chatting for a while, I got deleted for no reason or have to start introduce again cos our history is deleted. 

[auscent]

Online means interpers relationship is more dispensable.

Perhaps keep expectn low until time proven they are more interested.

[begleitung]

They think they are better

[begleitung]

On 5/3/2021 at 9:38 PM, auscent said:

Online means interpers relationship is more dispensable.

Perhaps keep expectn low until time proven they are more interested.

Exactly. Some treat others like poo. Disrespectful, offensive， arrogant and rude. 
 

 

Occasionally some are nice, but hardly. They just disappear.