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First date dilemma


blueday

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So recently, I met this guy for dinner after chatting online for awhile. 

That evening, he texted me and said he lost his wallet.. (I was thinking, what are the chances of losing your wallet when you're about to meet someone for the first time?)

So I thought never mind, he didn't want to treat me for dinner, which i am okay (cos i was ready to go dutch anyway)..

then he mentioned he managed to borrow some spare cash from a friend who was nearby.. (lousy excuse? hmm)

So after dinner, I offered to foot the bill... he did ask for a second date... but i am in a dilemma?

Am i being too skeptical or should I believe what he said? deep down, i am thinking he wasn't being truthful..?

Any thoughts?

Need advise.. 

 

 

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Guest chemistry

how's the chemistry during the date? If u feel good except for the bill, try out for 2nd date but can meet for coffee only.

If he still carry on pulling this stunt, please post his photo here and I'm sure many innocent love looking gays who had been tricked by him is able identify him

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5 minutes ago, Guest chemistry said:

how's the chemistry during the date? If u feel good except for the bill, try out for 2nd date but can meet for coffee only.

If he still carry on pulling this stunt, please post his photo here and I'm sure many innocent love looking gays who had been tricked by him is able identify him

 

Thanks, for the advise.

The chemistry was neutral.. I think i will just follow my heart :)

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3 hours ago, blueday said:

So recently, I met this guy for dinner after chatting online for awhile. 

That evening, he texted me and said he lost his wallet.. (I was thinking, what are the chances of losing your wallet when you're about to meet someone for the first time?)

So I thought never mind, he didn't want to treat me for dinner, which i am okay (cos i was ready to go dutch anyway)..

then he mentioned he managed to borrow some spare cash from a friend who was nearby.. (lousy excuse? hmm)

So after dinner, I offered to foot the bill... he did ask for a second date... but i am in a dilemma?

Am i being too skeptical or should I believe what he said? deep down, i am thinking he wasn't being truthful..?

Any thoughts?

Need advise.. 

 

 

 

Quite obvious that he wanted to go dutch/ did not want you to be a leech. Since he has borrowed spare cash from his friends, you should have gone dutch with him.

It is good to be skeptical. If you like him, you can try a second date to see if he offered and paid for the meal. Else, let it go, let it go.

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Guest sotong

How old is he? If he is still "young", it's possible because youngsters are more absent minded sometimes, losing things every now and then.

 

If he is a working adult, then he should be mature enough to understand that he will give you a bad impression for the first date and should choose not to tell you.

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Guest Suspicious

Hmm.... I lost my wallet before. I was too bothered for anything else other than making a police report and cancelling my credit cards.

I don't know, if I were you I would certainly have been more suspicious of his composure after the incident.

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@blueday Prolly him losing his wallet is a way to see how you would react? A way to see if you're gonna cancel the date just coz he lost his wallet? You know nowadays, I guess people try different tactics or ways to find out if the other person is genuine in friendship or something else.. He did say he 'Borrowed' money from a 'friend' nearby so that's 'A' or 'E' for 'Effort"! It would be a 'lousy excuse' if he didn't turn up at all just coz he lost his wallet and not trying ways and means to take you out. 

 

But I guess your date turned out good and that is why a second one is coming. Go for it and enjoy the many more dates to come, with or without him having his wallet. But if he keeps asking you to pay for everything, be upfront about it. Just ask and let him know that you're not comfortable with it. This is your first date and if you're doubting yourself and judging him for a one time off incident, it's not really a good start now is it? Brush it off and like @iwannac said give him 'benefit of the doubt'. Just enjoy, live and let live ait! ;) 

“We must not allow other people’s limited perceptions to define us.” -Virginia Satir

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Guest Teehee
8 hours ago, -1982- said:

@blueday Prolly him losing his wallet is a way to see how you would react? A way to see if you're gonna cancel the date just coz he lost his wallet? You know nowadays, I guess people try different tactics or ways to find out if the other person is genuine in friendship or something else.. He did say he 'Borrowed' money from a 'friend' nearby so that's 'A' or 'E' for 'Effort"! It would be a 'lousy excuse' if he didn't turn up at all just coz he lost his wallet and not trying ways and means to take you out. 

 

But I guess your date turned out good and that is why a second one is coming. Go for it and enjoy the many more dates to come, with or without him having his wallet. But if he keeps asking you to pay for everything, be upfront about it. Just ask and let him know that you're not comfortable with it. This is your first date and if you're doubting yourself and judging him for a one time off incident, it's not really a good start now is it? Brush it off and like @iwannac said give him 'benefit of the doubt'. Just enjoy, live and let live ait! ;) 

 

Yea that's true. I've been on first date where i got forgot my wallet and i didn't drive you have to take me back home kinda guy. Believe me if he did make the effort to get cash and just meet i think he is probably telling the truth. But then again, it's always good to be skeptical. We are living in a shit world nowadays where people just agree to go out with you for a free meal. 

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18 hours ago, blueday said:

So recently, I met this guy for dinner after chatting online for awhile. 

That evening, he texted me and said he lost his wallet.. (I was thinking, what are the chances of losing your wallet when you're about to meet someone for the first time?)

So I thought never mind, he didn't want to treat me for dinner, which i am okay (cos i was ready to go dutch anyway)..

then he mentioned he managed to borrow some spare cash from a friend who was nearby.. (lousy excuse? hmm)

So after dinner, I offered to foot the bill... he did ask for a second date... but i am in a dilemma?

Am i being too skeptical or should I believe what he said? deep down, i am thinking he wasn't being truthful..?

Any thoughts?

Need advise.. 

 

 

 

It depends on whether if he is worth more than the meal you are gonna be eating.

If he is cute and my type....I dun mind footing the bills for him even, which i normally will do anyway.

If he really snatched the bill and pay for it, I will see a better picture of him.

 

As the saying goes....用人不疑,疑人不用。maybe for your context.... 约人不疑,疑人不约。

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18 hours ago, blueday said:

So recently, I met this guy for dinner after chatting online for awhile. 

That evening, he texted me and said he lost his wallet.. (I was thinking, what are the chances of losing your wallet when you're about to meet someone for the first time?)

So I thought never mind, he didn't want to treat me for dinner, which i am okay (cos i was ready to go dutch anyway)..

then he mentioned he managed to borrow some spare cash from a friend who was nearby.. (lousy excuse? hmm)

So after dinner, I offered to foot the bill... he did ask for a second date... but i am in a dilemma?

Am i being too skeptical or should I believe what he said? deep down, i am thinking he wasn't being truthful..?

Any thoughts?

Need advise.. 

 

 

sound very similar gay,

 

he told me on dutch but order the most expensive steak, then when i foot the bill - he say didn't bring enough cash but will return later.

 

but his word of "later" is today or day after ????

 

suddenly, he got urgent call to go back to his work at plaza singapura and bid hurry good bye to keep in touch but immediately block me.

 

so you can gather from his tactic - really disgusting gay moral conduct.

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22 minutes ago, HydroNaut said:

 

It depends on whether if he is worth more than the meal you are gonna be eating.

If he is cute and my type....I dun mind footing the bills for him even, which i normally will do anyway.

If he really snatched the bill and pay for it, I will see a better picture of him.

 

As the saying goes....用人不疑,疑人不用。maybe for your context.... 约人不疑,疑人不约。

in short, you alway pay if to your liking but if mutual agree to be on dutch is another separate issue.As for my case, he give me the impression to foot his bill that is why order a premium steak - if those budget meal, i surely can afford to treat him even know he wont' return back.

 

i pay a premium price to see his truth colour and got disgust by this type gay conduct. I stop asking for a dinner date from then on - only coffee chat.

 

who dun like to impress their date in the first date - almost everyone does it like put on best dress, perfume and style hairstyle..etc.

 

what i encounter is a scumbag cheapo - by the way, i saw him using this same tactic at sengkang KFC with another guy - he order with his big fat wallet but never open it. So the other date foot the bill for the meal....the way i look it, portion for 4 pax.

 

Edited by Firday
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19 hours ago, blueday said:

So recently, I met this guy for dinner after chatting online for awhile. 

That evening, he texted me and said he lost his wallet.. (I was thinking, what are the chances of losing your wallet when you're about to meet someone for the first time?)

So I thought never mind, he didn't want to treat me for dinner, which i am okay (cos i was ready to go dutch anyway)..

then he mentioned he managed to borrow some spare cash from a friend who was nearby.. (lousy excuse? hmm)

So after dinner, I offered to foot the bill... he did ask for a second date... but i am in a dilemma?

Am i being too skeptical or should I believe what he said? deep down, i am thinking he wasn't being truthful..?

Any thoughts?

Need advise.. 

 

 

if i were you,

 

i will go out for second date but no more dinner

 

reason :

1. Give him another chance to know him better

2. Avoid those awkward situation of who billing it or dutch.

3. Since is first date, both need time to know each other character and personality - dun rush into judgement verdict to terminate this friendship.

 

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6 minutes ago, Firday said:

in short, you alway pay if to your liking but if mutual agree to be on dutch is another separate issue.As for my case, he give me the impression to foot his bill that is why order a premium steak - if those budget meal, i surely can afford to treat him even know he wont' return back.

 

i pay a premium price to see his truth colour and got disgust by this type gay conduct. I stop asking for a dinner date from then on - only coffee chat.

 

who dun like to impress their date in the first date - almost everyone does it like put on best dress, perfume and style hairstyle..etc.

 

what i encounter is a scumbag cheapo - by the way, i saw him using this same tactic at sengkang KFC with another guy - he order with his big fat wallet but never open it. So the other date foot the bill for the meal....the way i look it, portion for 4 pax.

 

 

Yeah... that is indeed cheapo...

But maybe as the years goes by.... people like me develop an acute sense to the truthfulness of a person's character.

 

Sometimes when so bored... I just let it go and choose be "fooled" for the sake of a dinner date. But if I have better things to do, I will be more selective. Besides, if you foot the bills, the other party tend to be on receiving end and you actually seem on the upper hand in the date so he is sort of like "owning" you a favour. So normally, if the meal is on a acceptable price...i will just pay, I dun like the feeling of owning anyone any favours.

 

To me, paying for a mere meal is better than paying heftily for a social escort for a companionship which some of my friends are doing.

To impress a escort, bring them to posh restaurant, book hotel room, pay for sexual services then still tips for a few hours of sheer pleasure. To this is really too much.

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19 hours ago, blueday said:

So recently, I met this guy for dinner after chatting online for awhile. 

That evening, he texted me and said he lost his wallet.. (I was thinking, what are the chances of losing your wallet when you're about to meet someone for the first time?)

So I thought never mind, he didn't want to treat me for dinner, which i am okay (cos i was ready to go dutch anyway)..

then he mentioned he managed to borrow some spare cash from a friend who was nearby.. (lousy excuse? hmm)

So after dinner, I offered to foot the bill... he did ask for a second date... but i am in a dilemma?

Am i being too skeptical or should I believe what he said? deep down, i am thinking he wasn't being truthful..?

Any thoughts?

Need advise.. 

 

 

 

Maybe you are thinking too much. He asked for a second date....maybe this time he wanna repay you and treat you for the dinner this time round?

 

But it seem to me, you are more targeted about the dinner expenses rather than to get to know a person better. Let the lad have the benefit of doubts.

But experiences tell me, your date is just mediocre quality, not truly your type.

 

On cases like this....if the guy is really your type and strike off with you well, the bill will goes pass your notice anytime.

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What actually he ordered? He ordered the cheapest item on the menu or the most expensive one? If he ordered the cheapest but want to pay the bill for both of you. He definitely a gentleman, trust him. If the other way round.. He's faking it. Say bye bye after fucking.

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Guest Interesting topic

If straight people date, the guy will usually want to impress the girl he likes by footing the bill and sending her back home after the date. What about when lgbt date, for lesbians will the butch pay for the girl? For gays top will pay for the bottom? What if both are vers? 

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3 hours ago, Firday said:

sound very similar gay,

 

he told me on dutch but order the most expensive steak, then when i foot the bill - he say didn't bring enough cash but will return later.

 

but his word of "later" is today or day after ????

 

suddenly, he got urgent call to go back to his work at plaza singapura and bid hurry good bye to keep in touch but immediately block me.

 

so you can gather from his tactic - really disgusting gay moral conduct.

 

That guy has no dignity and proper upbringing.

Your first meet up already at a place that can order steak, mine is always at hawker centre, food court or fast food restaurant.

Lol.

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Guest But...

But...  why were you expecting him to "treat" you in the first place, if you were planning to go dutch?

Sounds like you were the one who wanted a free meal from the beginning.

 

23 hours ago, blueday said:

 

So I thought never mind, he didn't want to treat me for dinner, which i am okay (cos i was ready to go dutch anyway)..

 

 

 

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23 hours ago, blueday said:

So recently, I met this guy for dinner after chatting online for awhile. 

That evening, he texted me and said he lost his wallet.. (I was thinking, what are the chances of losing your wallet when you're about to meet someone for the first time?)

So I thought never mind, he didn't want to treat me for dinner, which i am okay (cos i was ready to go dutch anyway)..

then he mentioned he managed to borrow some spare cash from a friend who was nearby.. (lousy excuse? hmm)

So after dinner, I offered to foot the bill... he did ask for a second date... but i am in a dilemma?

Am i being too skeptical or should I believe what he said? deep down, i am thinking he wasn't being truthful..?

Any thoughts?

Need advise.. 

 

 

If I like that guy then I will go for second date but this time meet over a simple drink.

 

If go dutch also don't want to pay then this guy is a free loader.

 

If he know how to 做人 then he should automatically offer to pay.

 

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Guest Blank
14 hours ago, Firday said:

sound very similar gay,

 

he told me on dutch but order the most expensive steak, then when i foot the bill - he say didn't bring enough cash but will return later.

 

but his word of "later" is today or day after ????

 

suddenly, he got urgent call to go back to his work at plaza singapura and bid hurry good bye to keep in touch but immediately block me.

 

so you can gather from his tactic - really disgusting gay moral conduct.

 

Omg sounds horrible. You should buy me dinner instead, and I'll listen to you talking to me for the entire night as an appreciation for the treat. :redface:

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On 3/24/2019 at 11:13 PM, blueday said:

 

Thanks, for the advise.

The chemistry was neutral.. I think i will just follow my heart :)

Take it slow, and good luck for love. 

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On 3/25/2019 at 5:08 PM, innocense said:

 

That guy has no dignity and proper upbringing.

Your first meet up already at a place that can order steak, mine is always at hawker centre, food court or fast food restaurant.

Lol.

YOU are damn right lor.....

my foolish expensive lesson fee....hehhe

 

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On 3/26/2019 at 3:40 AM, Guest Blank said:

 

Omg sounds horrible. You should buy me dinner instead, and I'll listen to you talking to me for the entire night as an appreciation for the treat. :redface:

sure why not - buy dinner but you dun need to listen the entire night.

pm me

 

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