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Guest mess

I don't know who am I already. I feel like everyone is hating me. I feel like a grumpy old man. Everyone is scared of me. At first, I don't care but now I feel like hating myself too. I don't know what I'm doing now is it good or bad already. I really have tone down and slow down a lot to be on the same page with the rest. I still have the urge to rush things but really control myself not to. but they start to work a bit harder now scared that I would be angry. Is it a good thing or not? I start to feel bad for them. Why so "chiong" for what in the first place. but that's really my working style. I'm not good with words. sometimes I might be silent and not talking but not my style to talk while working. Now they feel like being forced to work and looks tired. haiz. 

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33 minutes ago, firefight said:

Buy drinks for everyone

 

26 minutes ago, CCK central said:

Relax. Come up with a daily schedule for work tasks. Try having lunch together and make small chat. You have to put in the effort:)) 

Tell me more. 

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First make an inventory of yourself. Meaning what irritates you. Then try to see if you can accommodate your colleagues behaviour. Because truthfully they too have their issues and you should not see their behaviour as a measurement of how much they like you or don’t like you. Always beat this in mind, perception about people are always fluid. 

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6 minutes ago, CCK central said:

First make an inventory of yourself. Meaning what irritates you. Then try to see if you can accommodate your colleagues behaviour. Because truthfully they too have their issues and you should not see their behaviour as a measurement of how much they like you or don’t like you. Always beat this in mind, perception about people are always fluid. 

I read a few times. Like understand but cannot really grasp 100% of it. can explain in more simpler?

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8 minutes ago, CCK central said:

First make an inventory of yourself. Meaning what irritates you. Then try to see if you can accommodate your colleagues behaviour. Because truthfully they too have their issues and you should not see their behaviour as a measurement of how much they like you or don’t like you. Always beat this in mind, perception about people are always fluid. 

I think I did not talk a lot mostly because I have problem verbalizing my thoughts well. I think I choose to remain silent. and they think I angry most of the times. sometimes when I do work, I will be so into it without minding the people around me or look into them. maybe that's why they think I'm angry. sometimes I think they angry or don't like me that's why I seldom look into them too. I think I also use working as an excuse to avoid socializing with them. 

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1 hour ago, Guest mess said:

I don't know who am I already. I feel like everyone is hating me. I feel like a grumpy old man. Everyone is scared of me. At first, I don't care but now I feel like hating myself too. I don't know what I'm doing now is it good or bad already. I really have tone down and slow down a lot to be on the same page with the rest. I still have the urge to rush things but really control myself not to. but they start to work a bit harder now scared that I would be angry. Is it a good thing or not? I start to feel bad for them. Why so "chiong" for what in the first place. but that's really my working style. I'm not good with words. sometimes I might be silent and not talking but not my style to talk while working. Now they feel like being forced to work and looks tired. haiz. 

 

You don't describe much concrete but everything seems to turn around your feelings, your bad feelings.

Nothing physical here, all spiritual feelings.

It is known that feelings don't necessarily reflect reality.

It is also known that we have more control of our feelings than we think we have.

You are not good with words?  Lack of vocabulary,  problems with your voice?  This can all be fixed.

Maybe if you make a conscious effort to replace bad feelings with good feelings, you will improve?

Or at least,  with good feelings in mind you may be able to see the ways to fix things.

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2 hours ago, Guest mess said:

 

Tell me more. 

If you buy a drink for me... Teh o kosong thanks.

 

If you wanna express something but don't know how to say it in person, you can write it down and read it to yourself and feel the words as the listener. 

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6 hours ago, firefight said:

If you buy a drink for me... Teh o kosong thanks.

 

If you wanna express something but don't know how to say it in person, you can write it down and read it to yourself and feel the words as the listener. 

Haha. I always talk to myself imagining myself talking to them. But come next day, l didnt have the courage to do it. I feel the more I talk the worst it gets. I just get down to work n dun care what they think. But its getting heavier n heavier now.

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8 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

You don't describe much concrete but everything seems to turn around your feelings, your bad feelings.

Nothing physical here, all spiritual feelings.

It is known that feelings don't necessarily reflect reality.

It is also known that we have more control of our feelings than we think we have.

You are not good with words?  Lack of vocabulary,  problems with your voice?  This can all be fixed.

Maybe if you make a conscious effort to replace bad feelings with good feelings, you will improve?

Or at least,  with good feelings in mind you may be able to see the ways to fix things.

I dun know why I'm so complicated. Looking back at myself, I also feel I'm so complicated n troublesome eventhough I stand on my principles of just focus on working n nothing else. Maybe ppl think I'm cold n heartless. Maybe I am. I am anti social for sure. 

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Guest Mess

Is there anyone out there with the same character as mine? Or am I the only one with this weird abnormal recessive mutant personality? 

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34 minutes ago, Guest Mess said:

I dun know why I'm so complicated. Looking back at myself, I also feel I'm so complicated n troublesome eventhough I stand on my principles of just focus on working n nothing else. Maybe ppl think I'm cold n heartless. Maybe I am. I am anti social for sure. 

 

28 minutes ago, Guest Mess said:

Is there anyone out there with the same character as mine? Or am I the only one with this weird abnormal recessive mutant personality? 

 

Don't worry.  It is in our nature to be complicated.  Let go of that self-criticism.   Cold, heartless, anti-social... you can think you are all that without having to feel miserable.  Again, try to consciously replace negative feelings with good ones,  and you may become less perfectionist,  laugh off your assumed imperfections and make efforts to feel happy.  Sit down with nothing in mind, like in a meditation,  and tell yourself that you are happy.  Experience, practice this feeling.  Even if this would not change your "cold, heartless, anti-social",  as long as these traits don't land you in jail or make you lose your job, you can "coast" with them while more and more feeling happy, and doing some things that you enjoy.    This by itself,  the happiness,  may reduce your coldness, heartlessness, and being social may not disgust you but find it interesting.  After all, being happy BY ITSELF keeps you from being inferior to anyone else, and you can socialize with everybody in a position of equality.

 

 

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2 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

 

Don't worry.  It is in our nature to be complicated.  Let go of that self-criticism.   Cold, heartless, anti-social... you can think you are all that without having to feel miserable.  Again, try to consciously replace negative feelings with good ones,  and you may become less perfectionist,  laugh off your assumed imperfections and make efforts to feel happy.  Sit down with nothing in mind, like in a meditation,  and tell yourself that you are happy.  Experience, practice this feeling.  Even if this would not change your "cold, heartless, anti-social",  as long as these traits don't land you in jail or make you lose your job, you can "coast" with them while more and more feeling happy, and doing some things that you enjoy.    This by itself,  the happiness,  may reduce your coldness, heartlessness, and being social may not disgust you but find it interesting.  After all, being happy BY ITSELF keeps you from being inferior to anyone else, and you can socialize with everybody in a position of equality.

 

 

Thanks Steve for the advice above. It is very therapeutic. I feel lighten a bit. When I'm cold heartless and antisocial, any example of positive feeling that I can talk to myself?

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3 hours ago, Guest Mess said:

Is there anyone out there with the same character as mine? Or am I the only one with this weird abnormal recessive mutant personality? 

You need to get laid.

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25 minutes ago, Guest Fatty said:

You need to get laid.

 

Yes, this can be part of the process, and surely the end result  :thumb:

 

50 minutes ago, Guest Mess said:

Thanks Steve for the advice above. It is very therapeutic. I feel lighten a bit. When I'm cold heartless and antisocial, any example of positive feeling that I can talk to myself?

 

I think the easiest way is to do traditional meditation, with closed eyes,   and in it dedicating a good time to give thanks:  "thank you God (or universe) for giving me health, a good family, a house, a regular income, all my senses, a clear mind, a bf?,  etc. etc." and dedicating time to cultivate the feeling of happiness: "oh, I am so happy!,  I have no worries, all is under control,  etc."  Actually SMILE during this meditation.

While you draw out the feeling of happiness during meditation,  YOU ARE happy.  Remember this feeling, and bring it out often and when necessary.

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From what I read it seems like a lot of what you wrote are based on your feelings. Sometimes such feelings can warp our perspective of what others think of us. It can be good to check our feelings by casually sitting down with your team member to get a better sense of what they may think about you.

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17 hours ago, Guest mess said:

I don't know who am I already. I feel like everyone is hating me. I feel like a grumpy old man. Everyone is scared of me. At first, I don't care but now I feel like hating myself too. I don't know what I'm doing now is it good or bad already. I really have tone down and slow down a lot to be on the same page with the rest. I still have the urge to rush things but really control myself not to. but they start to work a bit harder now scared that I would be angry. Is it a good thing or not? I start to feel bad for them. Why so "chiong" for what in the first place. but that's really my working style. I'm not good with words. sometimes I might be silent and not talking but not my style to talk while working. Now they feel like being forced to work and looks tired. haiz. 

 

In Singlish “ I feel you” Lol. Just that I’m lucky in the sense the people around me didn’t hate me.

 

Please correct me if I’m wrong. 

If there’s a simple task, which can be completed in a week, given to you and your team and the deadlines would be a month later. Your team members will start working on it 2 weeks later but you already start planning and working on it while you still working on other tasks.

Another scenario would be, you and your team were given 10 tasks and your superior was expecting the team to finish at least 5 tasks in a month. While your team members aiming to finish 5 tasks in a month, you on the other hand were aiming to try finish 10 tasks if possible.

 

Just let you know you are not alone, if what I described above fits you. I would say is a behavioral causes by our surroundings environments during our growth. I’m not pushing the blame to the environment but just didn’t cope well with the environment that resulting us to have such a behavior. Things like your upbringing, my parents (especially my mum) play apart of my behavior. When I was young, my mum always expect her children to follow her instructions a.s.a.p otherwise, will get scolded or caning, my sister and brother seems to cope well if can’t match her expectations but I obviously can’t cope, as I felt sort of guilty or left behind. During my teens time, when I didn’t do what’s was been told to do at school, my teachers will announce in the class and brought embarrassment to me or punish me and complain to my parents. Gradually, I started to behavior in a stress and constantly remind myself, what I need to do and have to do it a.s.a.p, otherwise something bad will happen to me. 

 

Right now, if people ask me why I so “chiong”, I will reply to them because that’s how I behave and please don’t get offended. (Optional) Also let them know, if you don’t do it a.s.a.p, you feel uneasy and can’t move forward with your daily life. Some will understand and some will let you be.

 

I do understand this behavior of mine, can influence people. During my army time, I was CQMS, have two store-men. My store men were those lazy and like to sleep. My OC and 2IC wanted to repaint the whole store rooms, and wanted us to finish a.s.a.p. My store men lazy to do and said to me they will do it slowly since no given time. I told my store-men, ok you guys can go slack around as you wish but don’t get caught and drag me in. I just did the repainting by myself 3 days consecutively while doing other jobs and my store men slack around for 3 days. Until the 4th day, my store-men came down to help me paint too, they told me they feel uneasy and sort of guilt when they saw me painting alone while they slacking and sleeping. The next subsequent order tasks, they didn’t slack first, they finished the tasks with me a.s.a.p. before they go slack. Although, at my back they complaining a lot about me to their comrades that I’m crazy and they unlucky to have me as their sergeant. LOL.

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4 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Yes, this can be part of the process, and surely the end result  :thumb:

 

 

I think the easiest way is to do traditional meditation, with closed eyes,   and in it dedicating a good time to give thanks:  "thank you God (or universe) for giving me health, a good family, a house, a regular income, all my senses, a clear mind, a bf?,  etc. etc." and dedicating time to cultivate the feeling of happiness: "oh, I am so happy!,  I have no worries, all is under control,  etc."  Actually SMILE during this meditation.

While you draw out the feeling of happiness during meditation,  YOU ARE happy.  Remember this feeling, and bring it out often and when necessary.

I tried to reconnect with an old friend I met online very long time ago to hopefully ignite some sparks in my life. 

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1 hour ago, cityhallguy said:

 

In Singlish “ I feel you” Lol. Just that I’m lucky in the sense the people around me didn’t hate me.

 

Please correct me if I’m wrong. 

If there’s a simple task, which can be completed in a week, given to you and your team and the deadlines would be a month later. Your team members will start working on it 2 weeks later but you already start planning and working on it while you still working on other tasks.

Another scenario would be, you and your team were given 10 tasks and your superior was expecting the team to finish at least 5 tasks in a month. While your team members aiming to finish 5 tasks in a month, you on the other hand were aiming to try finish 10 tasks if possible.

 

Just let you know you are not alone, if what I described above fits you. I would say is a behavioral causes by our surroundings environments during our growth. I’m not pushing the blame to the environment but just didn’t cope well with the environment that resulting us to have such a behavior. Things like your upbringing, my parents (especially my mum) play apart of my behavior. When I was young, my mum always expect her children to follow her instructions a.s.a.p otherwise, will get scolded or caning, my sister and brother seems to cope well if can’t match her expectations but I obviously can’t cope, as I felt sort of guilty or left behind. During my teens time, when I didn’t do what’s was been told to do at school, my teachers will announce in the class and brought embarrassment to me or punish me and complain to my parents. Gradually, I started to behavior in a stress and constantly remind myself, what I need to do and have to do it a.s.a.p, otherwise something bad will happen to me. 

 

Right now, if people ask me why I so “chiong”, I will reply to them because that’s how I behave and please don’t get offended. (Optional) Also let them know, if you don’t do it a.s.a.p, you feel uneasy and can’t move forward with your daily life. Some will understand and some will let you be.

 

I do understand this behavior of mine, can influence people. During my army time, I was CQMS, have two store-men. My store men were those lazy and like to sleep. My OC and 2IC wanted to repaint the whole store rooms, and wanted us to finish a.s.a.p. My store men lazy to do and said to me they will do it slowly since no given time. I told my store-men, ok you guys can go slack around as you wish but don’t get caught and drag me in. I just did the repainting by myself 3 days consecutively while doing other jobs and my store men slack around for 3 days. Until the 4th day, my store-men came down to help me paint too, they told me they feel uneasy and sort of guilt when they saw me painting alone while they slacking and sleeping. The next subsequent order tasks, they didn’t slack first, they finished the tasks with me a.s.a.p. before they go slack. Although, at my back they complaining a lot about me to their comrades that I’m crazy and they unlucky to have me as their sergeant. LOL.

Oh my. The word crazy. My colleague told others that I'm too overly hardworking that I might be crazy so becareful with me.

 

I have really slow down alot today. And slack abit than usual. Trying not to kan chiong to finish things like there's no tomorrow. When I have take it easy, relationship with colleagues also improve as I have time to make some small talk abt current issues with colleague. Tmr my another senior will be coming back. He is the one like me who always want to clear things fast fast. I do fast fast partly because he said I'm slow n must do fast fast do that help with the things. Hopefully I will not be affected by his remarks if he finds me work slow tomorrow. I think I have to stick to the majority side to survive. I can be the fast worker but become loner and isolated. 

 

Sometimes it is quite ironic, I have this colleague from other section who kind of say smthg to me by complaining the other colleague who likes to do things fast fast. No teamwork n very selfish. But then she herself also do things fast fast. When we are slow to produce things for their section, she also not happy. Going home time, she also rushes us to be fast so that can go home early. I can't believe its coming from her mouth. Its like the pot is calling the kettle black. 

 

Do fast kena say. Do slow also kena say. 

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Now I’m a mature students in NZ Uni, my course mates most are all around 20s and 18 is the youngest. First year , studied with them they didn’t complain or saying bad about me. They just find me super hard core in study, one student from China said I’m 學霸 and other kiwis thought I’m trying to score As. Then I told them, that the way I study right now in Singapore is just consider average student, further to that I have been quite slack compare to the way I studied in my previous Uni in UK. Their reaction were “What!”, I told them in Singapore is very competitive and most Singaporean are under lot of stress at work and study too. Thus, I chose to find ways to move out because I don’t think I can follow with the pace of Singapore apart from not a friendly LGBTs environment .

 

Yes, there are others who are even worst than me but I have this unique behavior that makes it different. If I’m not able to catch up with Singapore working pace, I will feel left out, uneasy and more stress. Other who not that highly educated like my sister and brother, have no such behavior like me so they don’t bother that much. I really admire my sister because no matter how bad the situation is, she can just go thru it without stressing herself. she is very simple and naive person, sometimes I also want to be like her. Friends always told me to relax is just work no need to bring back home or let work control your life, but I couldn’t. 

 

Now for me, I just make do as I feel like don’t kind how people thinks as long as I happy and clear my conscious first. Then when come to a stage where I think I’m crazy, I just discuss with my BF about my kan chiong behavior is stressing me out for nothing and bla bla.. Then I’m back to normal...hahaha... basically my BF is just always there for me, listening to my complaints about myself.

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18 minutes ago, cityhallguy said:

Yes, there are others who are even worst than me but I have this unique behavior that makes it different. If I’m not able to catch up with Singapore working pace, I will feel left out, uneasy and more stress. Other who not that highly educated like my sister and brother, have no such behavior like me so they don’t bother that much. I really admire my sister because no matter how bad the situation is, she can just go thru it without stressing herself. she is very simple and naive person, sometimes I also want to be like her. Friends always told me to relax is just work no need to bring back home or let work control your life, but I couldn’t. 

 

Now for me, I just make do as I feel like don’t kind how people thinks as long as I happy and clear my conscious first. Then when come to a stage where I think I’m crazy, I just discuss with my BF about my kan chiong behavior is stressing me out for nothing and bla bla.. Then I’m back to normal...hahaha... basically my BF is just always there for me, listening to my complaints about myself.

8

Yeah, sometimes I also want to be like them, simple person. no need to think so much. Happy go lucky. like ah dai in the drama "hor ser boh". 

 

 

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Guest last straw

I sincerely hope that only your work life is a mess. I can't get rid of that feeling that your whole life is actually a big mess. Even Dettol or Bleach won't be able to clean up the mess...

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5 minutes ago, Guest last straw said:

I sincerely hope that only your work life is a mess. I can't get rid of that feeling that your whole life is actually a big mess. Even Dettol or Bleach won't be able to clean up the mess...

Actually, my whole life is also a mess. maybe is my personality wise. as I said very weird abnormal personality. I dun talk much with other ppl including my relative. I feel so awkward on how to start a conversation with them. I usually avoid the awkward feeling by avoiding eye contact. maybe they think i'm snobbish or looking down on them.  I feel like I'm still stuck at maybe 7 years old child. very shy. not talking. It may look alright for a child to behave like that but when it translates to an adult, it is not alright. it is rude. I only comfortable talking with my parents and sister. No one can help me with this. that's my fate. I can imagine myself living lonely as a grumpy old man.

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Everyone puts on a mask at work. You know you're not like that but somehow the environment pushes to change you. It gets to a point you don't even know your real self anymore. Just be true to yourself cause at the end of the day work is meaningless. Human relationships are the most important.

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9 minutes ago, sgboy84 said:

Everyone puts on a mask at work. You know you're not like that but somehow the environment pushes to change you. It gets to a point you don't even know your real self anymore. Just be true to yourself cause at the end of the day work is meaningless. Human relationships are the most important.

You are right. at the end of the day, work is meaningless. work is abiotic. but human is a living thing more important. I think I use work (working hard) as an excuse to get myself numb. 

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3 hours ago, Guest Mess said:

I tried to reconnect with an old friend I met online very long time ago to hopefully ignite some sparks in my life. 

 

And if he doesn't respond, the same as he became your friend you can make new ones.

 

1 hour ago, Guest mess said:

Yeah, sometimes I also want to be like them, simple person. no need to think so much. Happy go lucky. like ah dai in the drama "hor ser boh". 

 

 

Yes, make yourself HAPPY,  and the lucky may come afterwards.

 

35 minutes ago, Guest mess said:

Actually, my whole life is also a mess. maybe is my personality wise. as I said very weird abnormal personality. I dun talk much with other ppl including my relative. I feel so awkward on how to start a conversation with them. I usually avoid the awkward feeling by avoiding eye contact. maybe they think i'm snobbish or looking down on them.  I feel like I'm still stuck at maybe 7 years old child. very shy. not talking. It may look alright for a child to behave like that but when it translates to an adult, it is not alright. it is rude. I only comfortable talking with my parents and sister. No one can help me with this. that's my fate. I can imagine myself living lonely as a grumpy old man.

 

Eye contact.  I only recently learned to make eye contact, and it brings me closer to others. Not awkward anymore.  And feeling happy it became easy for me to do small talk, to say any bullshit without feeling ashamed for not being so intellectual.  It is all internal,  and it came to me in middle age.  So even if you feel weird now, you as an old man you may not be grumpy.  And if you are smart, you will work on your feelings to get rid of weirdness much, much earlier.

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23 hours ago, Guest mess said:

I don't know who am I already. I feel like everyone is hating me. I feel like a grumpy old man. Everyone is scared of me. At first, I don't care but now I feel like hating myself too. I don't know what I'm doing now is it good or bad already. I really have tone down and slow down a lot to be on the same page with the rest. I still have the urge to rush things but really control myself not to. but they start to work a bit harder now scared that I would be angry. Is it a good thing or not? I start to feel bad for them. Why so "chiong" for what in the first place. but that's really my working style. I'm not good with words. sometimes I might be silent and not talking but not my style to talk while working. Now they feel like being forced to work and looks tired. haiz. 

It happens,  you are trying to seek approval, like everyone else here. 

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3 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

Eye contact.  I only recently learned to make eye contact, and it brings me closer to others. Not awkward anymore.  And feeling happy it became easy for me to do small talk, to say any bullshit without feeling ashamed for not being so intellectual.  It is all internal,  and it came to me in middle age.  So even if you feel weird now, you as an old man you may not be grumpy.  And if you are smart, you will work on your feelings to get rid of weirdness much, much earlier.

 

How do you learn to make eye contact? Sometimes I was very scared of looking into people eyes. I scared of them rolling their eyes for not liking me. so many imaginary things and assumption going in my head for me to avoid looking at them. until when they start to talk to me. then I feel they are not angry with me. 

 

Yeah, I was afraid too to say anything wrong or less intellectual. How do you overcome that? I tried to go for hypnosis. but after a few sessions, is not what I imagine it to be. I stop going. the hypnosis master is famous for helping people to stop smoking. 

 

 

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50 minutes ago, Guest mess said:

How do you learn to make eye contact? Sometimes I was very scared of looking into people eyes. I scared of them rolling their eyes for not liking me. so many imaginary things and assumption going in my head for me to avoid looking at them. until when they start to talk to me. then I feel they are not angry with me. 

 

Yeah, I was afraid too to say anything wrong or less intellectual. How do you overcome that? I tried to go for hypnosis. but after a few sessions, is not what I imagine it to be. I stop going. the hypnosis master is famous for helping people to stop smoking. 

 

 

I didn't make eye contact not because I was afraid, but because I didn't care for people.  Now I care, and eye contact comes naturally.  Also helps the idea that "we are all one single creature, that looks out to the world through different pairs of eyes".  (like Windows 10 Home is a single program that runs in millions of PCs)

I don't know about hypnosis, but what I find that works is auto-suggestion.  Make yourself believe that you are happy,  and chat happily with others.

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3 hours ago, Guest mess said:

You are right. at the end of the day, work is meaningless. work is abiotic. but human is a living thing more important. I think I use work (working hard) as an excuse to get myself numb. 

It's good to hear you have self-realization. The thing now is to change your thinking and yourself. People generating hate towards you will surround you with negativity and it's going to affect a lot of things in your life. It's never too late for a change. I hope the best for you in life. :)

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8 hours ago, Guest mess said:

Actually, my whole life is also a mess. maybe is my personality wise. as I said very weird abnormal personality. I dun talk much with other ppl including my relative. I feel so awkward on how to start a conversation with them. I usually avoid the awkward feeling by avoiding eye contact. maybe they think i'm snobbish or looking down on them.  I feel like I'm still stuck at maybe 7 years old child. very shy. not talking. It may look alright for a child to behave like that but when it translates to an adult, it is not alright. it is rude. I only comfortable talking with my parents and sister. No one can help me with this. that's my fate. I can imagine myself living lonely as a grumpy old man.

 

Dont worry come meet me and talk lol

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19 hours ago, sgboy84 said:

It's good to hear you have self-realization. The thing now is to change your thinking and yourself. People generating hate towards you will surround you with negativity and it's going to affect a lot of things in your life. It's never too late for a change. I hope the best for you in life. :)

I have tried changing my thinking and myself. but it is not easy for me. not always working. I still the quiet and passive typed guy. Yeah I'm already surrounded by the negativity. I will just have to bite through and really slow down during this time and hopefully, things will get back to normal. 

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22 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

I didn't make eye contact not because I was afraid, but because I didn't care for people.  Now I care, and eye contact comes naturally.  Also helps the idea that "we are all one single creature, that looks out to the world through different pairs of eyes".  (like Windows 10 Home is a single program that runs in millions of PCs)

I don't know about hypnosis, but what I find that works is auto-suggestion.  Make yourself believe that you are happy,  and chat happily with others.

I agreed that communication will clear up all misunderstanding and assumptions. but I didn't do enough or been avoiding all this time. Blame it on my personality again. sort of lazy to come out from my comfortable zone.

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1 hour ago, Guest mess said:

I agreed that communication will clear up all misunderstanding and assumptions. but I didn't do enough or been avoiding all this time. Blame it on my personality again. sort of lazy to come out from my comfortable zone.

 

Personality and essence are two different things.  Essence is what we are,  and... we are what we are. 

Personality is more how we behave, and it is somewhat flexible.  So we can adjust our personality, within limits, to what our essence wants.

You want to be more communicative?  You can become it. "Lazy" just determines if you do it promptly or if it will have to wait.

 

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8 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Personality and essence are two different things.  Essence is what we are,  and... we are what we are. 

Personality is more how we behave, and it is somewhat flexible.  So we can adjust our personality, within limits, to what our essence wants.

You want to be more communicative?  You can become it. "Lazy" just determines if you do it promptly or if it will have to wait.

 

Yeah sometimes I feel like that too. Deep down in my heart I will feel why I didnt do that just now, why I so scared to do that. I think I scared of what ppl might think or judge me. 

 

I always talk to myself imagining myself talking to them to explain something. But when caught up in real scenario, i will either stun, blank or stuttering. I think thats why i have been avoiding. No guts to voice up. 

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2 hours ago, Guest Mess said:

Yeah sometimes I feel like that too. Deep down in my heart I will feel why I didnt do that just now, why I so scared to do that. I think I scared of what ppl might think or judge me. 

 

I always talk to myself imagining myself talking to them to explain something. But when caught up in real scenario, i will either stun, blank or stuttering. I think thats why i have been avoiding. No guts to voice up. 

 

Bah... no need to give any explanations about yourself.  If you explain other things, they should be grateful for that.  If your explanations are directives, all what matters is that they understand them.  My concerns over what people think about me ended completely with the realization that we all, ALL, are victims completely vanishing when our bodies die.  So their thoughts, judgments will die with their bodies, the same as mine.  In my opinion no one has anything supernatural.  Their thoughts are... gone with the wind.

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Guest Life
11 minutes ago, Dan 28 said:

Gay and menopause woman syndrome 

Maybe. Sort off. The few days earlier when i was writing this post, I am so moody. So depress if that was what it is called. There is like some thing like a noise or veil that in my head. Cloudy. Gloomy. Very very anti social. Just cant even pull up a smile. Everyone i meet i feel like i can hear what they are thinking or saying. They dun like me.

 

But today. I am so positive. I am a yes man today. I can smile effortlessly. More social than before, slightly. More caring. What happens to me ah? I wish everyday like this. Is there a doctor i can talk to without sounding stupid? Anyone can recommend one?

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3 minutes ago, Guest Life said:

Maybe. Sort off. The few days earlier when i was writing this post, I am so moody. So depress if that was what it is called. There is like some thing like a noise or veil that in my head. Cloudy. Gloomy. Very very anti social. Just cant even pull up a smile. Everyone i meet i feel like i can hear what they are thinking or saying. They dun like me.

 

But today. I am so positive. I am a yes man today. I can smile effortlessly. More social than before, slightly. More caring. What happens to me ah? I wish everyday like this. Is there a doctor i can talk to without sounding stupid? Anyone can recommend one?

Get treatment at IMH , don’t let others be your unnecessary victims , a lot of people do not want treatment and get others to suffer 

Edited by Dan 28

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