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When Someone Likes You But Has A Boyfriend


Gayleo

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Has anyone here had experience with chasing after attached guys?

 

I recently got to know this guy at a party. We hooked up during the party and it was only towards the end that he told me he had a boyfriend. They together for around 3 years already. Despite that, he continued flirting with me afterwards and we've since already had sex. He told me his relationship with his bf has now reached a stage where it feels like they are more like close friends than a couple. He also told me he has feelings for me but he wants to 'take it slow' first so we can get to know each other better.

 

I know it's not right wanting someone who is attached but he makes it sounds like his relationship with his bf died a long time ago and it's very hard to ignore him when he constantly says sweet things to me etc.

 

Of course, even if we were to get together, I know that I will probably never trust him and will be scared that he might one day do what he did to his bf to me.

 

So has anyone here had experience with attached guys that resulted in a happy stable relationship?

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4 minutes ago, Gayleo said:

Has anyone here had experience with chasing after attached guys?

 

I recently got to know this guy at a party. We hooked up during the party and it was only towards the end that he told me he had a boyfriend. They together for around 3 years already. Despite that, he continued flirting with me afterwards and we've since already had sex. He told me his relationship with his bf has now reached a stage where it feels like they are more like close friends than a couple. He also told me he has feelings for me but he wants to 'take it slow' first so we can get to know each other better.

 

I know it's not right wanting someone who is attached but he makes it sounds like his relationship with his bf died a long time ago and it's very hard to ignore him when he constantly says sweet things to me etc.

 

Of course, even if we were to get together, I know that I will probably never trust him and will be scared that he might one day do what he did to his bf to me.

 

So has anyone here had experience with attached guys that resulted in a happy stable relationship?

Close loop communication dear ~

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1 hour ago, Gayleo said:

Has anyone here had experience with chasing after attached guys?

 

I recently got to know this guy at a party. We hooked up during the party and it was only towards the end that he told me he had a boyfriend. They together for around 3 years already. Despite that, he continued flirting with me afterwards and we've since already had sex. He told me his relationship with his bf has now reached a stage where it feels like they are more like close friends than a couple. He also told me he has feelings for me but he wants to 'take it slow' first so we can get to know each other better.

 

I know it's not right wanting someone who is attached but he makes it sounds like his relationship with his bf died a long time ago and it's very hard to ignore him when he constantly says sweet things to me etc.

 

Of course, even if we were to get together, I know that I will probably never trust him and will be scared that he might one day do what he did to his bf to me.

 

So has anyone here had experience with attached guys that resulted in a happy stable relationship?


You are just one of the prey he hunts. You are dumb to give in to him so readily after some sweet talk.

He is a player, you are a dumb fuck who will get dump eventually. Sorry to be so blunt and direct.

Now you want to be with someone who cheats on his bf? What are you thinking? Will you be the next bf he cheats on? your guess is as good a mine.

Time to wake up from this dream. Go find someone who will love you and not treats you like a sex object.

 

1. If the sex is good. Then just continue.

2. If you want love, I personally don't think he will love you. You are just a prey he hunted.

3. Don't believe in all the sweet talk, your brain already telling you it's sweet talk. Time to engage your logic and not your dick head.

4. Time will tell if he will be tired of and leave you. If you want to find out if he is really into you, don't give in to the sex so fast and you will know eventually if he is serious with you or just treats you as a sex object.

5. Don't have too much high hope because you might drop from heaven and it will hurt like hell.

 

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3 hours ago, Gayleo said:

Has anyone here had experience with chasing after attached guys?

 

I recently got to know this guy at a party. We hooked up during the party and it was only towards the end that he told me he had a boyfriend. They together for around 3 years already. Despite that, he continued flirting with me afterwards and we've since already had sex. He told me his relationship with his bf has now reached a stage where it feels like they are more like close friends than a couple. He also told me he has feelings for me but he wants to 'take it slow' first so we can get to know each other better.

 

I know it's not right wanting someone who is attached but he makes it sounds like his relationship with his bf died a long time ago and it's very hard to ignore him when he constantly says sweet things to me etc.

 

Of course, even if we were to get together, I know that I will probably never trust him and will be scared that he might one day do what he did to his bf to me.

 

So has anyone here had experience with attached guys that resulted in a happy stable relationship?

What kinda party is that?, that you can hook up during the party...birthday party?

 

Or is it an orgy party..

 

My advice is if it is the later , please stay clear of him...no people who is monogamous will attend such party when they are attached..

 

And here is another thought

 

Love is more than just sweet talks..

 

Love is..

 

When your able to fart beside that partner and yet the partner dont make a big fuzz of it (in another words...still love you despite your ugly side)

 

Builds each other up in terms of emotional support and charecter development...they compliment and critque each other

 

Enjoys each other accompany (even without physical contact)

 

Help each other whenever either one is in need

 

Give gifts, even if it is cheap , it is the thought that counts

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7 hours ago, Gayleo said:

Has anyone here had experience with chasing after attached guys?

 

I recently got to know this guy at a party. We hooked up during the party and it was only towards the end that he told me he had a boyfriend. They together for around 3 years already. Despite that, he continued flirting with me afterwards and we've since already had sex. He told me his relationship with his bf has now reached a stage where it feels like they are more like close friends than a couple. He also told me he has feelings for me but he wants to 'take it slow' first so we can get to know each other better.

 

I know it's not right wanting someone who is attached but he makes it sounds like his relationship with his bf died a long time ago and it's very hard to ignore him when he constantly says sweet things to me etc.

 

Of course, even if we were to get together, I know that I will probably never trust him and will be scared that he might one day do what he did to his bf to me.

 

So has anyone here had experience with attached guys that resulted in a happy stable relationship?

 

NO NO NO bro, take it from someone who hv experienced this before.

same thing, the guy told me he has no more feelings for his partner of about 3 to 4 years and that he likes me and wanna be with me.

at first i was rational - told myself that it won't work out but can just play along with it as long as no real feelings involved.

but easier said than done - as each week goes by, the feeling gets more and more and before you know it, you are caught in it!

i get angry and jealous when i see pics of him and his bf on fb, instagram etc. it doesnt seem like he has no more feeling for his partner.

i also had arguments with my friends over this - friends told me to wake up but i told them they dun understand!

 

long story cut short - i was in this 'nonsense' for almost 2.5 yrs before i woke up.

yes 2.5 yrs of my precious life wasted!

it really wasn't a good experience. it came to a point it can become a mental torture almost every few days. and trust me, mental torture is no joke.

the only good times is probably just the sex. but it was definitely not worth it in exchange for the bad mental torture.

 

the guy and his partner are still together.

actually im glad that it has happened though - you need to experience it for yourself the hard way though everyone will tell you to stay away from it.

but it's really really not worth it, luckily after 2.5 yrs i became rational again but i hv really wasted precious time.

stay away from attached guys.

it's the same for str8 guys/gals - i hv seen friends getting themselves involved with attached bf/gf or even married folks and things always turn ugly.

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He is just taking you as a safety net. Some one who never leaves a job before finding a new one. 

 

I'm attached and I do have naughty messages to friends. But I will keep reminding them that I'm attached and that's where it ends. My bf will know of their existence and I will tell them that if anything were to happen.. I will definitely tell my bf 

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8 hours ago, Gayleo said:

Has anyone here had experience with chasing after attached guys?

 

I recently got to know this guy at a party. We hooked up during the party and it was only towards the end that he told me he had a boyfriend. They together for around 3 years already. Despite that, he continued flirting with me afterwards and we've since already had sex. He told me his relationship with his bf has now reached a stage where it feels like they are more like close friends than a couple. He also told me he has feelings for me but he wants to 'take it slow' first so we can get to know each other better.

 

I know it's not right wanting someone who is attached but he makes it sounds like his relationship with his bf died a long time ago and it's very hard to ignore him when he constantly says sweet things to me etc.

 

Of course, even if we were to get together, I know that I will probably never trust him and will be scared that he might one day do what he did to his bf to me.

 

So has anyone here had experience with attached guys that resulted in a happy stable relationship?

 

There is one thing you, or he, have not specified:  is he in an open relationship?  If so, his relationship HAS NOT died but it gave up on sexual exclusivity.

 

I was the "he" in my relationship with my late bf.  Sex had vanished and so did its importance.  I had sex with others, always far away from him,  but my special love was for him alone.  I would have never put anyone ahead of him.  This could be your situation too.  Your guy may be friendly and even have some feelings for you, but his heart may still belong to someone else.

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Guest derrick

Will never chase after an attached guy for a long-term relationship unless you wanted something else.

Keep it a distant platonic when he's attached. Don't lead him on either.

If you engage him now.. you're right.. you'll know never trust him and as well as you're damning this opportunity of a good start.

Don't be a part of a mess.

If he is serious about you.. he will find you after his relationship ended.

This is best possible way for either both.

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Thanks for the advices!

 

3 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

There is one thing you, or he, have not specified:  is he in an open relationship?  If so, his relationship HAS NOT died but it gave up on sexual exclusivity.

 

I was the "he" in my relationship with my late bf.  Sex had vanished and so did its importance.  I had sex with others, always far away from him,  but my special love was for him alone.  I would have never put anyone ahead of him.  This could be your situation too.  Your guy may be friendly and even have some feelings for you, but his heart may still belong to someone else.

 

He not in an open relationship but he and his bf rarely have sex so his bf does close one eye to all of his exploits. He is a lot hotter than his bf so I guess that is why his bf puts up with it.

 

When I asked him if he still loves his boyfriend, he said he is not sure and he don't know how to answer that question. So it gives the impression his bf is the safety net that he is too afraid to walk away from.

 

4 hours ago, Guest CDCT said:

 

NO NO NO bro, take it from someone who hv experienced this before.

same thing, the guy told me he has no more feelings for his partner of about 3 to 4 years and that he likes me and wanna be with me.

at first i was rational - told myself that it won't work out but can just play along with it as long as no real feelings involved.

but easier said than done - as each week goes by, the feeling gets more and more and before you know it, you are caught in it!

i get angry and jealous when i see pics of him and his bf on fb, instagram etc. it doesnt seem like he has no more feeling for his partner.

i also had arguments with my friends over this - friends told me to wake up but i told them they dun understand!

 

long story cut short - i was in this 'nonsense' for almost 2.5 yrs before i woke up.

yes 2.5 yrs of my precious life wasted!

it really wasn't a good experience. it came to a point it can become a mental torture almost every few days. and trust me, mental torture is no joke.

the only good times is probably just the sex. but it was definitely not worth it in exchange for the bad mental torture.

 

the guy and his partner are still together.

actually im glad that it has happened though - you need to experience it for yourself the hard way though everyone will tell you to stay away from it.

but it's really really not worth it, luckily after 2.5 yrs i became rational again but i hv really wasted precious time.

stay away from attached guys.

it's the same for str8 guys/gals - i hv seen friends getting themselves involved with attached bf/gf or even married folks and things always turn ugly.

 

Yes the mental torture is already starting, which is why I was hoping that someone will provide a story with a happy ending that makes it all worth it but I guess not.

 

3 hours ago, Behrhunter said:

He is just taking you as a safety net. Some one who never leaves a job before finding a new one. 

 

I'm attached and I do have naughty messages to friends. But I will keep reminding them that I'm attached and that's where it ends. My bf will know of their existence and I will tell them that if anything were to happen.. I will definitely tell my bf 

 

Actually, it seems like the other way around.

 

I'm the new risky job that he is eyeing (he has told me before he considers me as a potential bf and he asks questions that are related to our compatibility) but he is not yet ready to take the plunge and leave his stable bf of 3 years who puts up with him aka his safety net

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1 hour ago, Gayleo said:

Thanks for the advices!

 

He not in an open relationship but he and his bf rarely have sex so his bf does close one eye to all of his exploits. He is a lot hotter than his bf so I guess that is why his bf puts up with it.

 

When I asked him if he still loves his boyfriend, he said he is not sure and he don't know how to answer that question. So it gives the impression his bf is the safety net that he is too afraid to walk away from.

 

Yes the mental torture is already starting, which is why I was hoping that someone will provide a story with a happy ending that makes it all worth it but I guess not.

 

Actually, it seems like the other way around.

 

I'm the new risky job that he is eyeing (he has told me before he considers me as a potential bf and he asks questions that are related to our compatibility) but he is not yet ready to take the plunge and leave his stable bf of 3 years who puts up with him aka his safety net

 

He is not in an open relationship but his bf tolerates his escapades with other men.  And he stays with this bf because the bf may be his financial? safety net.  It seems that the bf deserves more sympathy than him.  He is not a person I would entrust to be a decent partner, and I would not pursue him as such.   If you are really attracted to him and you don't have someone better to have sex with,  I guess it is not a high crime to play along.  But... how about the damage to his bf and the consequent bad karma?

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15 hours ago, Guest CDCT said:

 

NO NO NO bro, take it from someone who hv experienced this before.

same thing, the guy told me he has no more feelings for his partner of about 3 to 4 years and that he likes me and wanna be with me.

at first i was rational - told myself that it won't work out but can just play along with it as long as no real feelings involved.

but easier said than done - as each week goes by, the feeling gets more and more and before you know it, you are caught in it!

i get angry and jealous when i see pics of him and his bf on fb, instagram etc. it doesnt seem like he has no more feeling for his partner.

i also had arguments with my friends over this - friends told me to wake up but i told them they dun understand!

 

long story cut short - i was in this 'nonsense' for almost 2.5 yrs before i woke up.

yes 2.5 yrs of my precious life wasted!

it really wasn't a good experience. it came to a point it can become a mental torture almost every few days. and trust me, mental torture is no joke.

the only good times is probably just the sex. but it was definitely not worth it in exchange for the bad mental torture.

 

the guy and his partner are still together.

actually im glad that it has happened though - you need to experience it for yourself the hard way though everyone will tell you to stay away from it.

but it's really really not worth it, luckily after 2.5 yrs i became rational again but i hv really wasted precious time.

stay away from attached guys.

it's the same for str8 guys/gals - i hv seen friends getting themselves involved with attached bf/gf or even married folks and things always turn ugly.

I agree with CDCT. Unfortunately, it took me 4 years to wake up. It is really not worth the mental, emotional turmoil. 

 

Though, who knows, there may be that slight possibility that at the end of the day, he is the one for you and may stay true to you. 

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  • 9 months later...
Guest Guest
On 10/16/2019 at 1:36 PM, Gayleo said:

Has anyone here had experience with chasing after attached guys?

 

I recently got to know this guy at a party. We hooked up during the party and it was only towards the end that he told me he had a boyfriend. They together for around 3 years already. Despite that, he continued flirting with me afterwards and we've since already had sex. He told me his relationship with his bf has now reached a stage where it feels like they are more like close friends than a couple. He also told me he has feelings for me but he wants to 'take it slow' first so we can get to know each other better.

 

I know it's not right wanting someone who is attached but he makes it sounds like his relationship with his bf died a long time ago and it's very hard to ignore him when he constantly says sweet things to me etc.

 

Of course, even if we were to get together, I know that I will probably never trust him and will be scared that he might one day do what he did to his bf to me.

 

So has anyone here had experience with attached guys that resulted in a happy stable relationship?

 

If he do it to his bf, he can do tge same to you. If you want a relationship with NSA, then it should be fine.

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Luckily ts wont get pregnant unlike those gullible teenage girls. 

鍾意就好,理佢男定女

 

never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want.

 

结缘不结

不解缘

 

After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say.

 

看穿不说穿

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  • 2 months later...
17 minutes ago, Gayleo said:

 

It took me about 2 months to finally 'wake up' and realise he was indeed just stringing me along and never had any intention to be with me. The responses from this thread certainly helped me wake up. When I really confronted him about it, he admitted he was being selfish by wanting two boyfriends. 

 

Despite the admission of guilt, he continued to 'pursue' me and our relationship became something like a cross between best friends and boyfriends. I knew we would not end up together (officially) so I did try to find someone else but it was very hard because:

- He would intentionally blur the lines with me. He would often refer to me as his bf and at one point, he even told me he loved me.

- He always maintained that he only had sex with me (not even his bf) and that he doesn't need anyone else.

- He was also frankly quite out of my league. He is one of those IG famous boys with over 50k followers and he is probably the hottest guy I've ever hooked up with. So it's hard for me to find someone else cos I will inevitably compare them to him.

 

So our 'affair' dragged on for about a year.

But in the end like everyone predicted, he just suddenly ghosted me about one month ago. No explanation, nothing. 

 

In all honesty, did I regret my time with him? No.

If I could turn back time, I would still do it all again. 

His bf is unaware (I think) of my year long affair with him so frankly, I didn't affect their relationship which makes me feel less guilty about the whole thing.

 

But this episode was definitely a good life lesson.

The mental torture, jealousy and confusion was certainly not worth the hot sex and happy memories we had. 

In retrospect, the times he made me miserable/angry/jealous outweighed the happy times because he was always blowing hot and cold.

 

I read somewhere that closure is a personal choice, not an explanation or an apology from someone else.

So since he ghosted me, I'm taking it as an opportunity to really move on from him.

Even if he suddenly pops back into my life, I will not let him touch me again.

 

Now that I've gone through the whole experience of falling for an attached guy, I'm definitely 'wiser' now and will not allow myself to be in this situation ever again no matter how hot the other guy is.

Experience points gained! ~ 

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To me the best way not involved with attach guys as is not nice to be the third party. Asked yourself if you at his his partner position fell how is it feel like. Unless he in open relationship or bi married as treat that commitment just for sexually needs. As maybe you fill up those what they missing for in the relationship. Like some men say wife is for family mistress and concubine for real fun in bed. If you stir someone coffee one day people may stir well your coffee real well what comes goes around.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 10/5/2020 at 4:10 PM, Gayleo said:

 

It took me about 2 months to finally 'wake up' and realise he was indeed just stringing me along and never had any intention to be with me. The responses from this thread certainly helped me wake up. When I really confronted him about it, he admitted he was being selfish by wanting two boyfriends. 

 

Despite the admission of guilt, he continued to 'pursue' me and our relationship became something like a cross between best friends and boyfriends. I knew we would not end up together (officially) so I did try to find someone else but it was very hard because:

- He would intentionally blur the lines with me. He would often refer to me as his bf and at one point, he even told me he loved me.

- He always maintained that he only had sex with me (not even his bf) and that he doesn't need anyone else.

- He was also frankly quite out of my league. He is one of those IG famous boys with over 50k followers and he is probably the hottest guy I've ever hooked up with. So it's hard for me to find someone else cos I will inevitably compare them to him.

 

So our 'affair' dragged on for about a year.

But in the end like everyone predicted, he just suddenly ghosted me about one month ago. No explanation, nothing. 

 

In all honesty, did I regret my time with him? No.

If I could turn back time, I would still do it all again. 

His bf is unaware (I think) of my year long affair with him so frankly, I didn't affect their relationship which makes me feel less guilty about the whole thing.

 

But this episode was definitely a good life lesson.

The mental torture, jealousy and confusion was certainly not worth the hot sex and happy memories we had. 

In retrospect, the times he made me miserable/angry/jealous outweighed the happy times because he was always blowing hot and cold.

 

I read somewhere that closure is a personal choice, not an explanation or an apology from someone else.

So since he ghosted me, I'm taking it as an opportunity to really move on from him.

Even if he suddenly pops back into my life, I will not let him touch me again.

 

Now that I've gone through the whole experience of falling for an attached guy, I'm definitely 'wiser' now and will not allow myself to be in this situation ever again no matter how hot the other guy is.

1) You're probably not the only one he has outside.  Just be thankful for the good memories.

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Hope you'll find someone to love you real good someday. ♥️

 

I cheated once on my ex, while I was with him for 4 years, I told the new boy that I was in a bad relationship. Used that same shit any cheating bastard would. New boy ate it all up and let me fucked him every night after work. Then I would go back to my ex as if nothing happened. A week into it and I realized I'm pretty fucked up and had no balls to face the real problem. Realized how disgusting I was. I immediately broke up with my ex as the relationship was just going downhill no matter what I did. It was time to face the truth and end the relationship. 

 

I never should have lied to my ex. I never should have lied to that new boy too. I made them both my victims.

 

Told myself I'll never do that again. Nobody deserves that. 

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5 hours ago, caindukker said:

Hope you'll find someone to love you real good someday. ♥️

 

I cheated once on my ex, while I was with him for 4 years, I told the new boy that I was in a bad relationship. Used that same shit any cheating bastard would. New boy ate it all up and let me fucked him every night after work. Then I would go back to my ex as if nothing happened. A week into it and I realized I'm pretty fucked up and had no balls to face the real problem. Realized how disgusting I was. I immediately broke up with my ex as the relationship was just going downhill no matter what I did. It was time to face the truth and end the relationship. 

 

I never should have lied to my ex. I never should have lied to that new boy too. I made them both my victims.

 

Told myself I'll never do that again. Nobody deserves that. 

 

At least u said u are in a r/s, some ppl will say they are single and a lot of "I love you" just to get fucks.

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On 10/16/2019 at 3:30 PM, GachiMuchi said:


You are just one of the prey he hunts. You are dumb to give in to him so readily after some sweet talk.

He is a player, you are a dumb fuck who will get dump eventually. Sorry to be so blunt and direct.

Now you want to be with someone who cheats on his bf? What are you thinking? Will you be the next bf he cheats on? your guess is as good a mine.

Time to wake up from this dream. Go find someone who will love you and not treats you like a sex object.

 

1. If the sex is good. Then just continue.

2. If you want love, I personally don't think he will love you. You are just a prey he hunted.

3. Don't believe in all the sweet talk, your brain already telling you it's sweet talk. Time to engage your logic and not your dick head.

4. Time will tell if he will be tired of and leave you. If you want to find out if he is really into you, don't give in to the sex so fast and you will know eventually if he is serious with you or just treats you as a sex object.

5. Don't have too much high hope because you might drop from heaven and it will hurt like hell.

 

 

On 10/5/2020 at 4:10 PM, Gayleo said:

 

It took me about 2 months to finally 'wake up' and realise he was indeed just stringing me along and never had any intention to be with me. The responses from this thread certainly helped me wake up. When I really confronted him about it, he admitted he was being selfish by wanting two boyfriends. 

 

Despite the admission of guilt, he continued to 'pursue' me and our relationship became something like a cross between best friends and boyfriends. I knew we would not end up together (officially) so I did try to find someone else but it was very hard because:

- He would intentionally blur the lines with me. He would often refer to me as his bf and at one point, he even told me he loved me.

- He always maintained that he only had sex with me (not even his bf) and that he doesn't need anyone else.

- He was also frankly quite out of my league. He is one of those IG famous boys with over 50k followers and he is probably the hottest guy I've ever hooked up with. So it's hard for me to find someone else cos I will inevitably compare them to him.

 

So our 'affair' dragged on for about a year.

But in the end like everyone predicted, he just suddenly ghosted me about one month ago. No explanation, nothing. 

 

In all honesty, did I regret my time with him? No.

If I could turn back time, I would still do it all again. 

His bf is unaware (I think) of my year long affair with him so frankly, I didn't affect their relationship which makes me feel less guilty about the whole thing.

 

But this episode was definitely a good life lesson.

The mental torture, jealousy and confusion was certainly not worth the hot sex and happy memories we had. 

In retrospect, the times he made me miserable/angry/jealous outweighed the happy times because he was always blowing hot and cold.

 

I read somewhere that closure is a personal choice, not an explanation or an apology from someone else.

So since he ghosted me, I'm taking it as an opportunity to really move on from him.

Even if he suddenly pops back into my life, I will not let him touch me again.

 

Now that I've gone through the whole experience of falling for an attached guy, I'm definitely 'wiser' now and will not allow myself to be in this situation ever again no matter how hot the other guy is.

 

Well, 1 year ago, I posted the above and removed it as I don't want to sound like I was throwing cold water.

Go in with your eyes wide open and think with a clear mind and not get muddled by sweet words and false promises.

Anyway, good that you had walked out of this relationship learning some hard lessons.

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Guest Bad boy

As a bad boy, if someone wants to suck me or want me to f him deep deep, I will let him suck or f him deep deep as Long as he’s cute and safe. If he’s horny and he begs me to do that, I will do it. Why not? Free lunches. Some cute guys deserved to be face f or ass f. I have Done quite a few. Very fulfilling! And they are Super happy after I done with them! Win win situation 

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  • 2 months later...
On 10/16/2019 at 1:36 PM, Gayleo said:

 

So has anyone here had experience with attached guys that resulted in a happy stable relationship?

 

A friend with whom I had a mutual thing with told me he has a Taiwanese bf.  He would talk to me about him and I'd just listen politely.  

 

I'm at a stage where I'm mature enough to understand that if someone it doesn't mean he wants to take it further.  Just take it at face value and enjoy the moment.  Believe me when I say the biggest obstacle to happiness is having expectations.

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3 hours ago, FattChoy said:

 

A friend with whom I had a mutual thing with told me he has a Taiwanese bf.  He would talk to me about him and I'd just listen politely.  

 

I'm at a stage where I'm mature enough to understand that if someone it doesn't mean he wants to take it further.  Just take it at face value and enjoy the moment.  Believe me when I say the biggest obstacle to happiness is having expectations.

 

'the biggest obstacle to happiness is having expectations."

 

This just sounds like you're settling. 

You only have one life to live. Very sad way of living if you live by that motto.

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1. Very easy, tell him within 7 days he needs to break up with his bf as the very first step. 

 

2. Only after 3 months, both of you will decide whether to really be together. 

 

If he cannot do point 1, that means he still loves his bf and what he says are all lies. 

 

Point 2 is to hint to him that he must not be greedy. He can only have one (bf). Unless you don't mind being a slutty 3rd party gaining karma or a open rs. 

 

Personally I don't think you're a 3rd party so long you don't kiss, bj or fuck him... until he has confirmed the break up with his current bf. This shows true love on his part. 

 

Heard of too many stories like yours where guy A has bf still want to hug and kiss my friend. Of course my friend stood firm and did not reciprocate. Plenty of guys out there, just need to wait for the right one who doesn't go around fucking others while in a rs. Karma is very real, one day 

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On 1/7/2021 at 12:21 PM, FattChoy said:

 

A friend with whom I had a mutual thing with told me he has a Taiwanese bf.  He would talk to me about him and I'd just listen politely.  

 

I'm at a stage where I'm mature enough to understand that if someone it doesn't mean he wants to take it further.  Just take it at face value and enjoy the moment.  Believe me when I say the biggest obstacle to happiness is having expectations.

I kind of agree and can understand the situation. 

 

Compatibility is the key in a relationship. It means any of the party shall have the free will to either stay inside or walk away from the relationship without any resentment. Then none of them would feel like a victim should any one of the parties had done anything seemingly incomprehensible. If all parties involved in the relationship (including the third one) can remain happy on their own at that moment, whatever other people say would not have much significance to them.

Edited by will7z
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  • 11 months later...

Recently my boyfriend invited his friend who hasn't met fellow friends in our social circle in a long time, like around 9 - 10 months, since it's around the time of the year where friends meet to catch up. He got pretty drunk and when my boyfriend went to the toilet, he told me that he purposely stayed away because of me but when he saw me 'all of what he felt' came back. He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before he decided to head back.

 

So the next few days, he came for our gathering but he sort of became quiet around me, as he is usually chatty. I felt conflicted and not sure what to do next, and I don't think it's wise to tell my boyfriend what happened. Maybe time will let him forgot and we can normalise our relationship in the future...

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