Would you approach someone you barely know to ask them out?

[notd]

Titled.

 

By barely know, I mean someone whom you have spoken to via e-means but not someone who has been responsive.

 

A little story,

 

Came across a profile on Tinder that caught my eyes in the longest time. I don't believe at attraction at first picture kind of thing, but I've had one or two instances where I was attracted to someone based on their pictures alone, one of them which resulted in a two-year relationship. To cut to the chase, superliked the profile but never did get a match. Ironically, due to the weird algorithms that social media has, his IG account appeared on my "Accounts to follow" and of course, I followed him. I'd try to make conversations by responding to his stories that I find are generic enough to hold a conversation. For example, a casual greeting for Happy LNY. He noticed my messages after awhile and responded. Recently, he has left me on "Seen" and I'm unsure of whether it's safe for me to approach him ever again, even its just for a friendly conversation. Friends have remarked if I am attracted to him so much, I should work up the courage and ask him out to see if something more substantial than acquaintance can be developed. I personally think his lack of emotions in his responses and the act of leaving me at seen/read is a clear indication he's merely being polite by responding to me. Messages and words can only mean so much and sometimes they're hardly a clear indicator of interest though the discrepancy in the way he replies to comments on his social media posts vs. the way he replied me is somewhat noticeable.

 

Ultimate question, if you were me, would you try a second time?

 

Him

• Late 30s
• Fashionable
• Personally find him high maintenance
• Career-driven and exudes a very "socialite" persona
• Of course, physically attractive

 

Me

• Early-late 20s
• Boy-next-door
• Holds a standard career
• Pretty much an average dude.

 

Am not hoping for a relationship to bud or blossom, that's quite frankly a plus point. But I can't lie that I find him attractive, even though all of this is just the fantasy talking. Anyone had a similar experience and perhaps resulted in a happily-ever-after? Do share. And of course, it goes without saying if a guy is attractive and he dms you out of the blues, he's considered charming. But if you're not up to their standards of physical appearance, you're considered ugly, creepy and bar none disgusting. 

[Guest Being Stood Up]

20 minutes ago, Daniel988 said:

Just meet at Bugis MRT infront of  guardian 

then you may determine either should carry on the date or walk away

That place, reminded me of a bitter experience.  Someone I believed posted an outdated picture of himself.  Arranged a meeting, never turned up but I believed he did turned up, took a look at me and dissappeared.  I couldn't recognise him because  he used an old picture. 

[fab]

R u sure u want such social butterflies?

 

2 hours ago, notd said:

Titled.

 

By barely know, I mean someone whom you have spoken to via e-means but not someone who has been responsive.

 

A little story,

 

Came across a profile on Tinder that caught my eyes in the longest time. I don't believe at attraction at first picture kind of thing, but I've had one or two instances where I was attracted to someone based on their pictures alone, one of them which resulted in a two-year relationship. To cut to the chase, superliked the profile but never did get a match. Ironically, due to the weird algorithms that social media has, his IG account appeared on my "Accounts to follow" and of course, I followed him. I'd try to make conversations by responding to his stories that I find are generic enough to hold a conversation. For example, a casual greeting for Happy LNY. He noticed my messages after awhile and responded. Recently, he has left me on "Seen" and I'm unsure of whether it's safe for me to approach him ever again, even its just for a friendly conversation. Friends have remarked if I am attracted to him so much, I should work up the courage and ask him out to see if something more substantial than acquaintance can be developed. I personally think his lack of emotions in his responses and the act of leaving me at seen/read is a clear indication he's merely being polite by responding to me. Messages and words can only mean so much and sometimes they're hardly a clear indicator of interest though the discrepancy in the way he replies to comments on his social media posts vs. the way he replied me is somewhat noticeable.

 

Ultimate question, if you were me, would you try a second time?

 

Him

• Late 30s
• Fashionable
• Personally find him high maintenance
• Career-driven and exudes a very "socialite" persona
• Of course, physically attractive

 

Me

• Early-late 20s
• Boy-next-door
• Holds a standard career
• Pretty much an average dude.

 

Am not hoping for a relationship to bud or blossom, that's quite frankly a plus point. But I can't lie that I find him attractive, even though all of this is just the fantasy talking. Anyone had a similar experience and perhaps resulted in a happily-ever-after? Do share. And of course, it goes without saying if a guy is attractive and he dms you out of the blues, he's considered charming. But if you're not up to their standards of physical appearance, you're considered ugly, creepy and bar none disgusting. 

 

[notd]

1 hour ago, Daniel988 said:

Just meet at Bugis MRT infront of  guardian 

then you may determine either should carry on the date or walk away

 

I don't reside in SG sadly.

 

20 minutes ago, fab said:

R u sure u want such social butterflies?

 

 

 

How he chooses to present himself doesn't concern me. What I can control is how I cope with said persona. At the end of the day, if he doesn't have an issue with someone quiet/down-to-earth/low maintenance then I should not have an issue with someone sociable. And if you're referring to the fact that being a social butterflies leads to certain unpleasant situations, i.e.: cheating or unwanted attention, I suppose it is a part of the package? 

Edited January 29, 2020 by notd

[Guest Six]

Not to be a cold blanket, chances are you likely won't be with him. If he truly is interested in you, he would've continue the conversation already. 

 

You may try again but don't get your hopes too high. This scene is too familiar to me. Don't get disappointed if this doesn't work, there's always another man out there more suitable for you. 

[notd]

7 hours ago, Guest Six said:

Not to be a cold blanket, chances are you likely won't be with him. If he truly is interested in you, he would've continue the conversation already. 

 

You may try again but don't get your hopes too high. This scene is too familiar to me. Don't get disappointed if this doesn't work, there's always another man out there more suitable for you. 

 

Not to worry, your sentiments are perfectly felt and they're not exactly wrong. I have known that my chances were slim from the beginning and that having him notice me was a happy enough occasion. 

[singalion]

On 1/29/2020 at 4:47 PM, notd said:

Titled.

 

By barely know, I mean someone whom you have spoken to via e-means but not someone who has been responsive.

 

A little story,

 

Came across a profile on Tinder that caught my eyes in the longest time. I don't believe at attraction at first picture kind of thing, but I've had one or two instances where I was attracted to someone based on their pictures alone, one of them which resulted in a two-year relationship. To cut to the chase, superliked the profile but never did get a match. Ironically, due to the weird algorithms that social media has, his IG account appeared on my "Accounts to follow"

Am not hoping for a relationship to bud or blossom, that's quite frankly a plus point. But I can't lie that I find him attractive, even though all of this is just the fantasy talking. Anyone had a similar experience and perhaps resulted in a happily-ever-after? Do share. And of course, it goes without saying if a guy is attractive and he dms you out of the blues, he's considered charming. But if you're not up to their standards of physical appearance, you're considered ugly, creepy and bar none disgusting. 

 

 

Are you the sort of guy who turns apples and oranges 50 times before you pick one?

 

Boy, you are prone to stay alone if you continue like this.

Your doubts, your questioning, your sesrch for perfection combined with self-doubts, the lack of appreciating what and who you are...

 

Let me ask you: what do you have to lose to ask him out? What holds you back?

Actually , I would loose my mood if someone follows me on apps but never makes a move.

 

But I would advise you to meet in a slightly romantic setting, but not overly. there are plenty of boutique cafes in Singapore (Tiong Bharu, Katong).

 

You either win a friend, something more serious, or remain app friends.

 

There is a chance for admiring him online but meeting him in real you end up disappointed because he might not be what you thought he is.

 

Waiting longer is stupid, you're not getting younger.

 

Give yourself a push and just ask him.

 

Don't follow dreams, but live them in real!

 

[SensualMassage_T]

Darling, seen the message and no reply

your chance are slimmmmmmmm, go date someone else sia 

[Guest Slap yo face]

In short, instagram whores are attention seekers and narcissist. Unless you have fit bod and model looks, they won't be bothered with you. Think about it, if you find them attractive physically, so do the 100 other gay men following them. Re-evaluate your preferences, nothing good comes out of getting personal with gay narcissist and sociopaths. The more poses and naked pics the more toxic the guy is.

[Guest jjlin]

8 hours ago, Guest Slap yo face said:

In short, instagram whores are attention seekers and narcissist. Unless you have fit bod and model looks, they won't be bothered with you. Think about it, if you find them attractive physically, so do the 100 other gay men following them. Re-evaluate your preferences, nothing good comes out of getting personal with gay narcissist and sociopaths. The more poses and naked pics the more toxic the guy is.

 

jealous sour grapes?

[LeanMature]

On 1/29/2020 at 7:34 PM, Daniel988 said:

 

last week an uncle ‘cat-fished’ by using a young hunk picture to meet up with me around AMK. 
to conclude, he’s overweight, bald and greasy.

 

i’m 5’8 and skinny, he come up to me and ask why I didn’t go to gym

 

 

You don't look skinny leh from your profile photo, unless....

[Guest Dancing Around A Long Pole]

On 1/29/2020 at 7:34 AM, Daniel988 said:

last week an uncle ‘cat-fished’ by using a young hunk picture to meet up with me around AMK. to conclude, he’s overweight, bald and greasy. i’m 5’8 and skinny, he come up to me and ask why I didn’t go to gym

 

You should have asked him that same question.

 

On 1/29/2020 at 8:03 AM, notd said:

I don't reside in SG sadly.

 

In that case just meet him at the KLCC fountain.

[Guest meeting]

how did it continue? Have you met him by now?