Would people pass away know what you did?

[Guest Know]

I'm worried that if one day (touch wood) my parents pass away (everyone will leave this world), knows that I am gay n have been involved in man to man sex, cruising n my gay behaviour, will they be dissapointed? When my mom told me where she put all her valuable assets n add my name in her bank acct name, I feel so sad even as I was typing this. I know this day will come. N she has been started to arrange things in the event shes not ard so that it would be easy on us. I couldnt imagine if they are not ard anymore. I feel so lonely. 

[fab]

Surely they will know when they are in the other world.

 

What makes you think that being gay is wrong? What if I tell you being gay is the right thing to do in the other world?

[Wallace]

35 minutes ago, fab said:

Surely they will know when they are in the other world.

 

What makes you think that being gay is wrong? What if I tell you being gay is the right thing to do in the other world?

Prove it

[fab]

2 minutes ago, Wallace said:

Prove it

 

Unfortunately the only way to prove it is you will have to go to the the other side to see it personally. 

[Wallace]

I believe in science . When a person is gone mean gone . Only people too miss ' them ' so they create a lot of 'story'  that I can explain ..... 

[Wallace]

1 minute ago, fab said:

 

Unfortunately the only way to prove it is you will have to go to the the other side to see it personally. 

There no heaven or hell .

[Innocentguy]

1 hour ago, Guest Know said:

I'm worried that if one day (touch wood) my parents pass away (everyone will leave this world), knows that I am gay n have been involved in man to man sex, cruising n my gay behaviour, will they be dissapointed? When my mom told me where she put all her valuable assets n add my name in her bank acct name, I feel so sad even as I was typing this. I know this day will come. N she has been started to arrange things in the event shes not ard so that it would be easy on us. I couldnt imagine if they are not ard anymore. I feel so lonely. 

My mum to whom im very very close to left me 2 years back.  I miss her alot n very very lonely. The last moments when she was around she suspected that im not str8. Im ok with that. Nothing is right or wrong nowadays. 

[Guest to be good guy in life]

from small till now i can see ghost even my grandma or friend i can see they soul come back . i bellieve when we are death we can still feel and stay in other world . but guess our parents know very well we are gay or str seem  they bringus to this world even you never tell them guess they already know your liking just they dont want to make you uneasy to answer or they already accept you long ago. we just have to be a good man in life love our slibing take care of our self and happy healthy. guess this is what our parents like to see in life or when they are gone.

[Steve5380]

7 hours ago, Guest Know said:

I'm worried that if one day (touch wood) my parents pass away (everyone will leave this world), knows that I am gay n have been involved in man to man sex, cruising n my gay behaviour, will they be dissapointed? When my mom told me where she put all her valuable assets n add my name in her bank acct name, I feel so sad even as I was typing this. I know this day will come. N she has been started to arrange things in the event shes not ard so that it would be easy on us. I couldnt imagine if they are not ard anymore. I feel so lonely. 

 

If your parents get revelations about their children when they pass away,  they also learn the truth about what morality really is.  So they will learn that there is nothing wrong with being gay and living a gay life.  They may feel sorry that they didn't remove your fear to come out and embrace you the way you are.  But they will make up for that by protecting you from the other side throughout your life.

 

6 hours ago, Wallace said:

Prove it

 

6 hours ago, Wallace said:

I believe in science . When a person is gone mean gone . Only people too miss ' them ' so they create a lot of 'story'  that I can explain ..... 

 

6 hours ago, Wallace said:

There no heaven or hell .

 

In your last post you revealed that you need to learn more about science.  Although science is based on observation, it also seeks the formality of confirmation.

You have absolutely no proof that there is no heaven or hell.  And the same lack of proof that there is no karma and reincarnation.

I might suggest that you change from atheist to agnostic.  The agnostic chooses ignorance over that what can neither be proven nor disproven. And recognizing his ignorance, he chooses what to speculate about in these unknown topics.

 

 

5 hours ago, Innocentguy said:

My mum to whom im very very close to left me 2 years back.  I miss her alot n very very lonely. The last moments when she was around she suspected that im not str8. Im ok with that. Nothing is right or wrong nowadays. 

 

We have the right to our beliefs, speculations about the afterlife.  After my bf died I allowed me a belief that brings peace to my mind.  It is that when people die they... move on.  But not all souls move on.  Some have still some mission here to fulfill, and so they hang around us for a purpose.  My bf's purpose is to protect his father and sister, and... me. So he is in our hearts, staying without hurry until we pass away.  I feel him in my heart, wherever I go, and gives me company and guidance (he was a noble guy).  This is now MY reality, and I don't care what a hidden reality is.  Similarly,  your mum may not have left and moved on.  She can also be in your heart, giving you company and guidance for the rest of your life, fulfilling in this way her maternal destiny.

.

 

 

Edited January 31, 2020 by Steve5380

[Steve5380]

6 hours ago, fab said:

 

Unfortunately the only way to prove it is you will have to go to the the other side to see it personally. 

 

This may be possible for Christians, for example.

But in your case,  the "other side" is your reincarnation in a next life.  And there, you won't be able to prove anything since you start again as ignorant as a baby.

[AFter8]

7 hours ago, Innocentguy said:

My mum to whom im very very close to left me 2 years back.  I miss her alot n very very lonely. The last moments when she was around she suspected that im not str8. Im ok with that. Nothing is right or wrong nowadays. 

At the moment of passing, we really hope for our loved ones to die with grace, because that is the best thing one can offer to them in their transition to ‘the other side’.

 

That said, whatever burning question he/she has at the deathbed for us to answer would either

(1) cause more anxiety and upset; or (2) calmly die, with a peace of mind.

 

At times, honesty may not be the best policy to choose between the above 2 choices, but in order to grant them a death with grace, a white lie would suffice. 😇

[Coolbriz]

10 hours ago, Guest Know said:

I'm worried that if one day (touch wood) my parents pass away (everyone will leave this world), knows that I am gay n have been involved in man to man sex, cruising n my gay behaviour, will they be dissapointed? When my mom told me where she put all her valuable assets n add my name in her bank acct name, I feel so sad even as I was typing this. I know this day will come. N she has been started to arrange things in the event shes not ard so that it would be easy on us. I couldnt imagine if they are not ard anymore. I feel so lonely. 

Yes, very likely that our parents will be disappointed when they got to know our orientation eventually. So one way we could compensate while they are still around is to shower them with care and love. My mom got very worried when she realised that her only son didn’t get married as time passes by. However, she is also happy that her son has taken well of her and it’s quite relieving when she said to me one day that it’s not a bad thing after all for me to remain single as her friends’ sons didn’t really treat them that well after they got married. 

Edited February 1, 2020 by Coolbriz

[仙人掌]

POST DELETED

 

Edited February 3, 2020 by 仙人掌

[Steve5380]

1 hour ago, Coolbriz said:

Yes, very likely that our parents will be disappointed when they got to know our orientation eventually. So one way we could compensate while they are still around is to shower them with care and love. My mom got very worried when she realised that her only son didn’t get married as time passes by. However, she is also happy that her son has taken well of her and it’s quite relieving when she said to me one day that it’s not a bad thing after all for me to remain single as her friends’ sons didn’t really treat them that well after they got married. 

 

Very nice thoughts.  But underneath them hides a sad feeling of guilt for being gay.  Whose fault is this?  Yours,  or your mother's?  Of course not, there is no fault in this.  It is a fact of nature.  So why should parents pass on their disappointment to their gay children?  And why should gay children feel that they have to "make up" to their parents for being gay?

 

If, and this is an if,  a mother worries over her gay child because she fears that he will be disadvantaged, and not because she will have to be ashamed in front of friends for having a gay son, then the ideal way to please such mother is by becoming successful and happy to show her that her worries were unfounded. This son should have a wonderful relationship with his beloved, a man of course,  and the mother should be accepting of the happy couple,  instead of being happy that the poor son, always single,  gives her so much extra care.

 

To try to make up for the mother's disappointment by shower her with care and love,  sounds to much as responding to the calculations of a selfish mother who expects to be "compensated" by being treated better than her friends are treated by their sons.  Otherwise, how can she be happy that her son has to sacrifice himself to care for her instead of he having a fulfilling relationship like other straight sons?  

.

Edited February 1, 2020 by Steve5380

[Innocentguy]

8 hours ago, Since u r here said:

heavy topic but realistic to discuss ! esp in a CNY period


Sorry to hear about that
Are sons generally closer to mum?

 

Not sure abt others but i am. She was a wheelchair bound n always push her out to shops n all. Never thought that mum will leave me so soon. Now im just living for the sake of living. No expectations n nothing to look forward in life. God has showed me that Life is zero indeed.

[AFter8]

14 minutes ago, Innocentguy said:

Not sure abt others but i am. She was a wheelchair bound n always push her out to shops n all. Never thought that mum will leave me so soon. Now im just living for the sake of living. No expectations n nothing to look forward in life. God has showed me that Life is zero indeed.

I feel you.  My boi left me to angel land ~5 years ago.  He taught me to live on and lead an exciting life.  A life without any dream or motivation is as good as being a log adrift on the vast ocean, directionless and with no purpose, not grounded. ❤️

[auscent]

Maybe focus is treating well those who are still alive ard u.

[Innocentguy]

40 minutes ago, Since u r here said:

u must have been thru alot at that intense period!!!!
so sorry to hear that


which is why i have been telling my friends who  have been too into personal travelling (weekly hor, weekly ) , too into food, too into online warrior to achieve flaming,online bashing and all these, to stop or too into things that are superficial (eg richness and handsome/beauty will not go with u, they will aged with time)
Wait till they understood what is Life , then they will wakup from their childish behaviour

Thanks .yes. 

[Innocentguy]

35 minutes ago, AFter8 said:

I feel you.  My boi left me to angel land ~5 years ago.  He taught me to live on and lead an exciting life.  A life without any dream or motivation is as good as being a log adrift on the vast ocean, directionless and with no purpose, not grounded. ❤️

We can plan n try but decision n result is not in our hand. Im glad i realise what is life n where i stand. Everyone around me asking me ,what makes me look cool n happy always.  I just smile away coz they wont understand until they face it. Well some really dont realise till their last breath but up to individual.

[Boom]

Don't worry.  Nobody will know what you done. But God always know. Judgement day comes we need to answer to God. 

 

So don't worry about other people . Worry about judgement day. And if you don't believe in heaven , hell and judgement day , it's ok... Because when everyone realise the truth it's too late already.

 

Research. Analyse and understand.

[AFter8]

32 minutes ago, Innocentguy said:

We can plan n try but decision n result is not in our hand. Im glad i realise what is life n where i stand. Everyone around me asking me ,what makes me look cool n happy always.  I just smile away coz they wont understand until they face it. Well some really dont realise till their last breath but up to individual.

It is indeed not in our hands.  So long as we surrender to the Divine, the Divine I will take care of you and I 😇

[Boom]

15 minutes ago, Since u r here said:

true hence i told those 人在做天在看
they can continue to create karma 

It's true because all religions believe:

 

1) Humans are sinful

 

2) heaven and hell exist. (No matter temporal not eterenal)

 

3) humans souls are eternal (no matter one life comes judgement or rebirth , reincarnate)

 

So with research and seeking God we will know the truth and truth does not contradict. 

 

Seek the truth. Truth can set you free.

[lonelyglobe]

3 hours ago, Innocentguy said:

Not sure abt others but i am. She was a wheelchair bound n always push her out to shops n all. Never thought that mum will leave me so soon. Now im just living for the sake of living. No expectations n nothing to look forward in life. God has showed me that Life is zero indeed.

i think a lot of people are living just for the sake of living, life can be meaningless so people just try to add meaning to it,  some get married and have kids,  others find a partner,  some derive meaning from work,  religion etc... 

[Guest Know]

2 minutes ago, lonelyglobe said:

i think a lot of people are living just for the sake of living, life can be meaningless so people just try to add meaning to it,  some get married and have kids,  others find a partner,  some derive meaning from work,  religion etc... 

If my parents not around. N I'm still single, I think my life would be meaningless too. I already find no meaning in work. Last time so eager to go back to work even no ot pay. Now even with ot pay, I dun have that same mindset already. I just work like a zombie n avoid social contact. I reached a stage where God and Ghost also hates me. 

 

Now I try to find time to travel with parents even just nearby. Trying to create as much memories with them as possible so that I will have no regret. 

[Steve5380]

13 hours ago, AFter8 said:

I feel you.  My boi left me to angel land ~5 years ago.  He taught me to live on and lead an exciting life.  A life without any dream or motivation is as good as being a log adrift on the vast ocean, directionless and with no purpose, not grounded. ❤️

 

My boi left me to angel land one and a half years ago.  At first it was all mourning and crying, rebellion against life, etc.  But lately I adopted the belief that he is with me in my heart,  comes with me wherever I go, shares in my fun.  Now I am in peace, with plenty of goals in life, confident that I have his supernatural protection until my last day.

 

12 hours ago, AFter8 said:

It is indeed not in our hands.  So long as we surrender to the Divine, the Divine I will take care of you and I 😇

 

This is a good way to look at it.  As an agnostic,  I surrender to my ignorance and the speculation that we all have the same destiny no matter what.  And some other nice speculations.

[Steve5380]

12 hours ago, Boom said:

Don't worry.  Nobody will know what you done. But God always know. Judgement day comes we need to answer to God. 

 

So don't worry about other people . Worry about judgement day. And if you don't believe in heaven , hell and judgement day , it's ok... Because when everyone realise the truth it's too late already.

 

Research. Analyse and understand.

 

YOU research, analyze and understand.  It does not make sense that a divinity would let people "realize the truth when it is too late".  That would make the god into a abominable devil who wants to condemn his creatures to eternal hell.   Judgement day should be EVERY DAY for us to judge our actions, and learn from these judgments. 

 

12 hours ago, Boom said:

It's true because all religions believe:

 

1) Humans are sinful

 

2) heaven and hell exist. (No matter temporal not eterenal)

 

3) humans souls are eternal (no matter one life comes judgement or rebirth , reincarnate)

 

So with research and seeking God we will know the truth and truth does not contradict. 

 

Seek the truth. Truth can set you free.

 

NOT true.  Some religions don't believe in heaven nor hell.  Judaism, Buddhism for example.  And there is no proof that souls are eternal  (no eternity has passed yet  )

 

Not only you but we all are UNABLE to research God.   All you know about YOUR God is what some people tell you about, a pure HEARSAY they may base in questionable scriptures.

.

Edited February 1, 2020 by Steve5380

[Steve5380]

14 hours ago, Innocentguy said:

Not sure abt others but i am. She was a wheelchair bound n always push her out to shops n all. Never thought that mum will leave me so soon. Now im just living for the sake of living. No expectations n nothing to look forward in life. God has showed me that Life is zero indeed.

 

We should not blame a God for showing us that our life is "zero".  We must take responsibility for our life, our feelings.  It is in our hands to recover from distress, to restore our happiness if this is what we desire.

[Innocentguy]

17 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

 

We should not blame a God for showing us that our life is "zero".  We must take responsibility for our life, our feelings.  It is in our hands to recover from distress, to restore our happiness if this is what we desire.

Never blame God. Life is zero especially for those who greedy over money, poverty etc etc . Im glad that i came to know this earlier. Again i didn't blame anyone even god. Infact everyone should be thought in way too. Peace. 

[Guest Heart wrenching]

On 2/1/2020 at 12:50 AM, Innocentguy said:

My mum to whom im very very close to left me 2 years back.  I miss her alot n very very lonely. 

Struck a poignant chord with me...I'm also very close to my mother. Just yesterday, when I was walking behind her, I thought for a moment, there will come a day I will never see her walk in front of me again. My tears started to well up at this thought.. I really must cherish the times I have with my mother now

[AFter8]

16 minutes ago, Guest Heart wrenching said:

Struck a poignant chord with me...I'm also very close to my mother. Just yesterday, when I was walking behind her, I thought for a moment, there will come a day I will never see her walk in front of me again. My tears started to well up at this thought.. I really must cherish the times I have with my mother now

You are a filial son. 👍🏼

 

What is the biggest gift that you can offer to her while she is around?

[Guest to be good guy in life]

i being staying with my parents seem i am born . i cook for them bring them out for food bring them to see doctor. being bringing them to oversea to almost all asian country australia etc of course give them money . but now my mum fall sick stroke lie on bed and father everytime complaint here pain there pain . i was helpless . but as a elder son inthe family i am the only one being with them all along . i wonder how my slibing feel when they dont even bring them to malaysia for a holiday. mayble like most ppl here say we gay not married so got more time money love for them. but i dont agree totally . if they can bring family go over sea brought car hire maid. even buy expeneses things i think is because we gay know what is love. we feel bad to be gay never let them feel secure as they worry when they are gone no one with us. that y i try to stay healthy able to take care my self and them even a role as a elder son to look after my slibing . even no lover can make gd gay fre in life. of course not easy as most ppls seek sex. 

[仙人掌]

34 minutes ago, Guest to be good guy in life said:

i being staying with my parents seem i am born . i cook for them bring them out for food bring them to see doctor. being bringing them to oversea to almost all asian country australia etc of course give them money . but now my mum fall sick stroke lie on bed and father everytime complaint here pain there pain . i was helpless . but as a elder son inthe family i am the only one being with them all along . i wonder how my slibing feel when they dont even bring them to malaysia for a holiday. mayble like most ppl here say we gay not married so got more time money love for them. but i dont agree totally . 

人生就是这样的。兄弟姐妹不顾，偏偏你顾，这全都是因果。

老师明白您的困扰、困惑、忧郁、烦恼、委屈。
 

老师专研民俗/玄学，经历人生百态。鼓励您继续照顾父母。100%不会错的。

以后，父母不在了，你会知道。绝对不会吃亏的。放心！
 

[LeanMature]

On 2/1/2020 at 3:06 AM, Since u r here said:

heavy topic but realistic to discuss ! esp in a CNY period
Sorry to hear about that
Are sons generally closer to mum?

 

 

Yes, gay sons, mostly.

[Ironrod]

On 1/31/2020 at 11:03 PM, Guest Know said:

I'm worried that if one day (touch wood) my parents pass away (everyone will leave this world), knows that I am gay n have been involved in man to man sex, cruising n my gay behaviour, will they be dissapointed? When my mom told me where she put all her valuable assets n add my name in her bank acct name, I feel so sad even as I was typing this. I know this day will come. N she has been started to arrange things in the event shes not ard so that it would be easy on us. I couldnt imagine if they are not ard anymore. I feel so lonely. 

 

U have this mindset because you are "educated" that being gay is wrong and not normal. It has nothing to do with filial peity, it's more abt how you are unable to see through the lies. Cruising and seeking casual sex, is just like how straight man pay whores to get a fuck. (that itself has nothing to do with you being gay, that has to do with your own moral compass). You have a choice to lead a normal righteous life if you choose to and made your parents proud that you live a life of happiness and fulfill. If I were your parents knowing you are not happy your whole life because of your "fear" will make me sadder.

 

Frankly speaking, I think you are a old person and to see you live like that - I do pity you.

 

 

[Guest 唧唧歪歪]

On 2/1/2020 at 3:06 AM, Since u r here said:

heavy topic but realistic to discuss ! esp in a CNY period


Sorry to hear about that
Are sons generally closer to mum?

 

Jibai realistoc to discuss?

On 2/1/2020 at 10:55 AM, 仙人掌 said:

TS, 新年好。

 

这里的人都认识老师。老师天生非常严重的阴阳眼。

 

“Since u r here” 说的对。好过年期间，别发问这类不吉利问题。

 

这个问题是民俗玄学！不是一般人能答得上来。

 

人一旦断气，做了鬼就真相大白了。千真万确！记住了！

 

今世跟爸爸的关系不好，跟前世有关。爸爸一旦过世之后，做鬼马上就知道为什么和孩子的关系不好了。
今世儿子与妈妈的母子关系情深，也是跟前世有密切关系。要是过度依赖妈妈，变成儿子欠妈妈的，死后会回来向儿子讨债。
儿子没结婚，（父母不知道儿子是同性恋），但是只要人一死，就马上会知道儿子为什么不结婚了! 明白吧？

 

 

 

您的疑问，已经给您非直接性地解答了。

老师 您误会了

 

Since u r here 其实鼓励他问

真是个人渣 哈哈哈

[仙人掌]

2 hours ago, Guest 唧唧歪歪 said:

Jibai realistoc to discuss?

老师 您误会了

 

Since u r here 其实鼓励他问

真是个人渣 哈哈哈

Thank you. Post deleted.

[singalion]

On 1/31/2020 at 11:03 PM, Guest Know said:

I'm worried that if one day (touch wood) my parents pass away (everyone will leave this world), knows that I am gay n have been involved in man to man sex, cruising n my gay behaviour, will they be dissapointed? When my mom told me where she put all her valuable assets n add my name in her bank acct name, I feel so sad even as I was typing this. I know this day will come. N she has been started to arrange things in the event shes not ard so that it would be easy on us. I couldnt imagine if they are not ard anymore. I feel so lonely. 

 

My very personal recommendation to you is:

If you passed 35 years of age, don't hesitate to start the first hints to your mother, bring your bf, if any, back home, if your mother asks you if you are gay, don't deny just respond with a short "yes". Most mothers know anyway about their sons. I spoke to too many who told me they suspected from their sons from early age but did not touch the issue, because parents always hope you will bring home a girl, marry and have kids.

Don't let your mother pass away without knowing about you.

Unless, your parents are very fundamentally religious, but actually shouldn't take this as an excuse.

Many parents are very understanding and in fact, happy, that "thing" is out. Sure, some would keep it in the family or ask you to be discreet with relatives around.

There might be a phase were parents distance from you, but in most cases after some short time (6 months - 1 year), all will be back as normal.

Trust me, even parents are more educated today and know more about such things as you would imagine.

 

The worst on you is for having that negative connotation on being gay as others look down on you. You need to change this attitude and view and start to look up to you. You are not less worth than any straight guy. Stop looking what others think and say and just accept how you are. Trust me, nothing will change you. You will always chase dicks.

 

And treasure your parents as long as they live.

[Guest Guest]

3 minutes ago, singalion said:

 

My very personal recommendation to you is:

If you passed 35 years of age, don't hesitate to start the first hints to your mother, bring your bf, if any, back home, if your mother asks you if you are gay, don't deny just respond with a short "yes". Most mothers know anyway about their sons. I spoke to too many who told me they suspected from their sons from early age but did not touch the issue, because parents always hope you will bring home a girl, marry and have kids.

Don't let your mother pass away without knowing about you.

Unless, your parents are very fundamentally religious, but actually shouldn't take this as an excuse.

Many parents are very understanding and in fact, happy, that "thing" is out. Sure, some would keep it in the family or ask you to be discreet with relatives around.

There might be a phase were parents distance from you, but in most cases after some short time (6 months - 1 year), all will be back as normal.

Trust me, even parents are more educated today and know more about such things as you would imagine.

 

The worst on you is for having that negative connotation on being gay as others look down on you. You need to change this attitude and view and start to look up to you. You are not less worth than any straight guy. Stop looking what others think and say and just accept how you are. Trust me, nothing will change you. You will always chase dicks.

 

And treasure your parents as long as they live.

 

To those who even had an thought of heeding the advise of this angmoh, please remember that the Asian culture and the Western cultures are literally worlds apart. Be careful listening to the si angmoh trying to push his values into us, and especially be worried when he even expect your own personal aged parents to accept his version of value, eg parents in fact "happy" that "thing" is out. You will personally have to live the consequences of any bad advice that other people gives, while they hide in the shadows anonymously laughing at the sight of you living your consequences. Be careful. 

[Guest Guest]

11 minutes ago, Guest Guest said:

 

To those who even had an thought of heeding the advise of this angmoh, please remember that the Asian culture and the Western cultures are literally worlds apart. Be careful listening to the si angmoh trying to push his values into us, and especially be worried when he even expect your own personal aged parents to accept his version of value, eg parents in fact "happy" that "thing" is out. You will personally have to live the consequences of any bad advice that other people gives, while they hide in the shadows anonymously laughing at the sight of you living your consequences. Be careful. 

I hate to see this, but I must agree!

This is very true. Ang-moh "korng laan-jieow-weey". They think they knew alot and applicable to Asian culture. 

[Guest yuku]

On 1/31/2020 at 11:53 PM, fab said:

 

Unfortunately the only way to prove it is you will have to go to the the other side to see it personally. 

 

Then,   whatever you say about the other side and such ,is merely  HEARSAY

 

😁😁

 

 

 

 

[Guest yuku yuku]

42 minutes ago, Guest Guest said:

I hate to see this, but I must agree!

This is very true. Ang-moh "korng laan-jieow-weey". They think they knew alot and applicable to Asian culture. 

 

 

In other words, what they say is called....

 

 

 

[Steve5380]

16 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

I hate to see this, but I must agree!

This is very true. Ang-moh "korng laan-jieow-weey". They think they knew alot and applicable to Asian culture. 

 

Of course you agree with yourself    and you not only hate "to see this", but you hate everything and everyone.

You contribute nothing to help people,  but you can only seed discord with false accusations.

 

 

On 2/3/2020 at 12:51 AM, Guest to be good guy in life said:

i being staying with my parents seem i am born . i cook for them bring them out for food bring them to see doctor. being bringing them to oversea to almost all asian country australia etc of course give them money . but now my mum fall sick stroke lie on bed and father everytime complaint here pain there pain . i was helpless . but as a elder son inthe family i am the only one being with them all along . i wonder how my slibing feel when they dont even bring them to malaysia for a holiday. mayble like most ppl here say we gay not married so got more time money love for them. but i dont agree totally . if they can bring family go over sea brought car hire maid. even buy expeneses things i think is because we gay know what is love. we feel bad to be gay never let them feel secure as they worry when they are gone no one with us. that y i try to stay healthy able to take care my self and them even a role as a elder son to look after my slibing . even no lover can make gd gay fre in life. of course not easy as most ppls seek sex. 

 

You got some good advice from 仙人掌 responding to your post.  And I am adding some to it.

 

If you take good care of your parents until they pass away, you will have peace of mind thereafter and plenty of positive karma (if you believe in this).

But this should not prevent you from giving a high priority to care for yourself.  To be the "elder son" should not mean much.  I know several cases like yours where the gay son is the only one to care for the parents and he is not even the eldest but among the youngest.  You have all the right to confront your siblings and demand that they contribute to the care of your common parents,  AT LEAST with money. In addition, you should come out to your family and join the gay scene to find a boyfriend you can love. Bring him to your home (it's not only your parent's home, it is yours too!).  If anyone in your family complains or give you a hard time,  threaten them with leaving the parent's home and making your own home with your boyfriend, like they did with their spouses.  Fair is fair!  And within all the disturbance this can create,  hold in your heart the intention to keep caring for your parents no matter what.

 

After all, you should not only be a good son but also a good brother to your siblings.  If you force them to help with the parents,  you are helping them to gain the karma that will make them feel good and not terribly guilty after parents pass away.  You would help them like this,  wouldn't you?   

 

[singalion]

You are just trolling and endlessly trailing people who rebutted your inappropriate posts earlier.

 

The Singaporean culture has advanced and is indeed very westernised. My local office colleagues even had a discussion on "gay" and 377A. Sure there are hardliners or ignorant people, but such you will find in the West too.

 

I know many Singaporean gays who came out to their parents and they are happier now.

As to Asian values: China has opened up on homosexuality and do you see any serious backlash on gays in China? How about Taiwan?

And Singapore is an isolated island of " Asian values" and traditionalism, fundamental conservatism, the Brunei of the east?

I just wonder why the Singaporean controlled media is always full of reports and articles about homosexuality.... If society is so closed up, they wouldn't write anything.

 

Anyway, we're not talking about a societal thing but the relationship between parents and gay kids. Do you seriously try to tell me parents wouldn't sense what is going on with their 45 year old son who never brought any girl back home, never had any girlfriend at all, never went on a vacation with a girl...

 

Surely, Singaporean society no longer reflects the Manchurean court era or the fantasy soap operas style of life setting like on Channel 8.

 

Most parents biggest fear is actually their son getting infected (due to their limited knowledge) or any other negative connotations associated with "gay".

 

By the way look at the brave mothers and fathers who join the Pink Dot events.

 

Coming out to your parents is not an easy step in Western societies either. Gays have been chased out by parents or treated as non existing or made excluded from wills in the west too.

 

However, staying in the closet even to your mum or dad has negative psychological consequences to your own wellbeing.

 

This topic is for everybody to decide on his own.

But, I gave a suitable age of 35y in Singapore to come out to your parents, which probably is much higher than in a Western "household".

 

And I wasn't talking about coming out to everyone or your colleagues but just to your own parents.

 

[Guest Guest]

 

 

Look at this!! First he extols the suggestion that parents are in fact "happy" that "thing" is out, and then he personally admitted that in the Western world, "Gays have been chased out by parents or treated as non existing or made excluded from wills in the west too"! If those people in the Western world can do that, what do you guys think is happening in Asia?????

 

let me repeat what I said again: 

 

"To those who even had an thought of heeding the advise of this angmoh, please remember that the Asian culture and the Western cultures are literally worlds apart. Be careful listening to the si angmoh trying to push his values into us, and especially be worried when he even expect your own personal aged parents to accept his version of value, eg parents in fact "happy" that "thing" is out. You will personally have to live the consequences of any bad advice that other people gives, while they hide in the shadows anonymously laughing at the sight of you living your consequences. Be careful. " 

[Steve5380]

2 hours ago, singalion said:

 

I know many Singaporean gays who came out to their parents and they are happier now.

As to Asian values: China has opened up on homosexuality and do you see any serious backlash on gays in China? How about Taiwan?

And Singapore is an isolated island of " Asian values" and traditionalism, fundamental conservatism, the Brunei of the east?

I just wonder why the Singaporean controlled media is always full of reports and articles about homosexuality.... If society is so closed up, they wouldn't write anything.

 

Anyway, we're not talking about a societal thing but the relationship between parents and gay kids. Do you seriously try to tell me parents wouldn't sense what is going on with their 45 year old son who never brought any girl back home, never had any girlfriend at all, never went on a vacation with a girl...

 

This topic is for everybody to decide on his own.

But, I gave a suitable age of 35y in Singapore to come out to your parents, which probably is much higher than in a Western "household".

 

And I wasn't talking about coming out to everyone or your colleagues but just to your own parents.

 

 

I also think that 35 y.o. is a suitable time to realize that there is nothing wrong with being gay,  and have sufficient self respect to at least tell the parents about. And so the parents can also be consulted about their wish that their son comes out or not.

 

And the Singapore society should be sufficiently educated to accept homosexuality as natural.  The idea that the cultures in Asia and the West are "worlds apart" is a vile deception used as an argument for negative criticism.  Asia and the West are now less than a day of travel apart.  Asia accepts Western cellphones, computers, art, music and ... food.  Asian countries are increasingly accepting of same-sex couples.

[singalion]

Guest Guest: are  you alluding Western gays should not come out to their parents as they require to adapt "Asian values" to Western society (because there are some ignorant, narrow minded, religiously blinded parents who would chase their kids out of the house once they know they are gay)?

 

Anyway, you are just reflecting your hypocrisy on the matter of "Asian values".

 

I remember one VIP person in Singapore who always liked to bring in the "Asian values" when he ran out of reasoning and to place the cover on the pot to close down any discussion.

 

As if YOU had been a great supporter of that VIP but now you bring in the same arguments. Isn't that sheer hypocrisy? What a joke!

Turning your flag as you need it, is it?

 

You might say Asian societies are more conservative or traditional.

In the context of Singapore, I m not very sure on this. Yes, maybe you don't run around naked in your flat when your parents are around or kiss your girlfriend on the sofa in front of the tv.

 

Why do gays keep in the closet?

Fear of being rejected? Looked at as a sinner, criminal, something with lesser value?

Because society condemns gays?

 

And do you seriously think Asian / Singaporean parents do not think "Something is different" with their kid after he never dated any girl, started being intimate with a girl? Do you really think Asian / Singaporean parents have their eyes closed on these things? They don't ask themselves, start looking for reasons, asking if something is wrong with their kid?

Why do siblings or relatives nag you all the time during CNY: "when do you bring a girl?" , "when do you marry?"

Maybe, because you don't conform to the societal norms and you are different?

Asian parents would not search for an answer? Might not start to think they did something wrong with the kid?

 

Keeping in the closet simply reflects this: "You never really accepted yourself as a gay".

 

Instead of keeping your sexual orientation to your parents in the drawer, maybe at a certain age, you can just respond to your parents and let them get a relief for not being a psycho but just gay.  If it's not with 35, then with 38 or 40.

 

35 seems suitable because in most cases your brothers or sisters have married around that time.

Why keeping on with a lie when the suspicion is already there by the parents from a certain age?

 

And please don't pretend all Singaporean parents would chase their kid out of the house, once they know it is gay.

 

 

Edited February 5, 2020 by singalion
-

[Guest Guest]

Whatever your crap logic is, you have already been exposed to be a dangerous hypocrite. You try to convince Singaporeans to come out of the closet to their parents, while knowing full well of the danger that even the  "Gays have been chased out by parents or treated as non existing or made excluded from wills in the west too". 

 

That's enough evidence of your own ill intentions already. So who is "turning your flag as you need it"? Who is trying to "put the cover on the pot to close down any discussion"? 

 

You are a dangerous hypocrite. I hope all your friends and mates on BW now know full well the type of foreign leech  you are. 

 

 

[singalion]

I might have been exposed nude in a sauna...

 

 

but your last straw seems to be just getting personal and resorting to insults. 

 

I was pointing out the inconsistencies in your post(s) and caught you as a true hypocrite. 

 

Quoting you: 

You try to convince Singaporeans to come out of the closet to their parents, while knowing full well of the danger that even the  "Gays have been chased out by parents or treated as non existing or made excluded from wills in the west too". 

 

Yes, sure I acknowledge this. It happened, but it is not the norm of every parent. These are rare exceptions. 

Don't jump on rare exceptions and make a big drama as if every parent will exclude their son from the inheritance because he is gay or chase the guy out of the house. 

I have the humbleness to talk about these issues and mention the dangers of coming out. There is nothing I concealed.  

 

The threadstarter or others need to assess on their parents. I can't do that for him and them. 

 

If you are consistent you would need to advise any gay anywhere on the world not to come out of the closet due to inherent dangers of being chased away or excluded in the will but would not bring in "Asian values" or different societies as East and West. However, you didn't and now you are contradicting yourself because you focused on Singapore (Asia) but now say coming out of the closed is dangerous in Western societies too. Where is the difference then? There is a crack in your logic actually.

 

I simply gave my input to the person who asked whether he should come out to his mother. 

 

That is my view. 

 

However, I remain to say: 

Even in Singapore you can come out to your parents, once you exceeded a certain age. 

 

I have no further mood to feed your petty brawls and useless labels you like to give to people here.

[Guest Guest]

11 minutes ago, singalion said:

I have the humbleness to talk about these issues and mention the dangers of coming out.

 

Humbleness?? Reads more like si angmoh know-it-all arrogance to me! 

 

13 minutes ago, singalion said:

There is nothing I concealed.  

 

Nothing? Are you sure? I don't see your admission at the beginning, that even western gays had been chased out of the house , when you told Singaporean gays to out themselves to their parents, do you? It was bashed out from you only in subsequent posts! Where will you be when Singaporeans gays are also chased out of the house after coming out to their parents? At home laughing back in your country? 

 

I've done my part in exposing you to all your friends and members on BW as to the type of dangerous hypocrite you are. 

[singalion]

Seriously?

 

You accuse others of being a "drama queen" at many places.

If I read all this.... making an elephant out of a fly...  Who is the real drama queen at BW?

 

But you have been avoiding to respond to your own hypocrisy and inconsistency in your arguments. Heading to distract others away from it now by putting me personally into the picture?

Or are you admitting pointing to "Asian values" at this context was hypocrite and inconsistent?

 

My friends and members of ("on"? oh, yes I m top) BW are really really damn scared now!

 

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