Would people pass away know what you did?

[Guest Guest]

5 minutes ago, singalion said:

If I read all this.... making an elephant out of a fly...  Who is the real drama queen at BW?

 

Telling Singaporeans to out themselves to their parents without any warning of potential consequences is "making an elephant out of a fly" to you?? 

 

6 minutes ago, singalion said:

My friends and members of ("on"? oh, yes I m top) BW are really really damn scared now!

 

Really .... ? Retreating to become a grammar mama now? Yeah, that's hilarious ... not.

[singalion]

To all Singaporean guys who came out as gay to your parents:

 

1) How many of you have received very harsh reactions from your parents, both, only one, after your coming out (at what age did you come out)? How many of you have parents who ceased contact to you due to your coming out?

 

2) How many of you have been chased out of the house from your parents and left stranded on the street?

 

3) How many of you have been excluded from the inheritance of your parents due to your coming out to your parents?

 

 

[Guest Guest]

To all Singaporean guys who are going to be baited by this si angmoh here, please remember that no matter how wonderful and beautiful other people's outing stories may turn out to be, it is still OTHER people's parents, and NOT YOURS.

 

You know your parents best to see if they are going to embrace you as an openly out gay person (or maybe even as a flaming queen), or whether they will just silently accept you on a Don't-Ask-Don't-Tell basis, without the need for their own future social awkwardness in the presence of friends and families.  It is YOUR life to lead, YOUR decision to make, and YOUR parents to be responsible to. Don't make decisions just because this si angmoh is trying to tempt you here. That's what the devil does. 

 

[Geo]

Have to admit its kind of disturbing to read this Guest Guest's comments here. Can you stop being such childish keep mentioning abt east or west cultural differences?

 

Hey Guess Know, not sure does my experiences help you -

 

As an asian who is out to almost everyone around me, it wasnt easy journey for me to begin with. Almost got kicked out by my dad. That time he was in his late 50s. I was unintentionally "out" by my cousin when i was 19yo.

 

It wasnt easy to reestablish communication with them. But when i did, they became emotionally more mature - they learned to manage the awkward situation and putting down their ego. At the end of the day, they just want me to be able to truly smile or laugh from heart when together with them instead of curated smile covering with lies. So not sure just by creating memories with them travelling around is what they want from you...

 

Its really nice, warmth in heart and sweet when can talk everything with them. I ever consulted my mom how she manage my dad to have more than 40yrs of marriage when mine failed more than 6 times 😅 or they volunteered themself to attend my ex's family festive celebration (dear guest guest, my ex family are asian, not westerners) 🥰

 

Now am really grateful to my cousin, at least i can be truthful to my parents when spending quality moments together.

 

For others who plan to come out or accidentally out by someone, no doubt can be very harsh at first for some, why not try assure parents only them among family friends or relatives know abt your sexuality, and that you really wish to be truthful to them. Give them sometimes, you will be surprise they would actually do homeworks to read up stuffs about relationship issues that face by gay guys.. they just want you to be happy and know how to emotionally support you as parents. 

 

If they totally cant or refuse to accept you becasuse of their ego and pride, then am sorry cant advice further as am allergic to selfish parents who value their ego/pride above their children's happiness. For those who disagree, just fyi, my parents are now in their 70s, or mandarin educated, and that my family dont believe in practice 愚孝. Its also children responsibility to help parents to grow both mentally and emtionally.

[Geo]

.

Edited February 5, 2020 by Geo

[Geo]

.

Edited February 5, 2020 by Geo

[singalion]

 

Guest Guest:

 

wow, you are really this "old School".

 

Your last post reminds me of these warning signs:

 

"be aware of falling coconuts" 

at the East Coast or Pasir Ris park

 

or

 

"Have you left your valuables behind?"

at HDB carparks.

 

or

 

"trees and branches may fall"

 

in parks in Singapore.

 

 

 

[Guest Guest]

45 minutes ago, Geo said:

 Have to admit its kind of disturbing to read this Guest Guest's comments here. Can you stop being such childish keep mentioning abt east or west cultural differences?

 

Hey Guess Know, not sure does my experiences help you -

 

As an asian who is out to almost everyone around me, it wasnt easy journey for me to begin with. Almost got kicked out by my dad. That time he was in his late 50s. I was unintentionally "out" by my cousin when i was 19yo.

 

It wasnt easy to reestablish communication with them. But when i did, they became emotionally more mature - they learned to manage the awkward situation and putting down their ego. At the end of the day, they just want me to be able to truly smile or laugh from heart when together with them instead of curated smile covering with lies. So not sure just by creating memories with them travelling around is what they want from you...

 

Its really nice, warmth in heart and sweet when can talk everything with them. I ever consulted my mom how she manage my dad to have more than 40yrs of marriage when mine failed more than 6 times 😅 or they volunteered themself to attend my ex's family festive celebration (dear guest guest, my ex family are asian, not westerners) 🥰

 

Now am really grateful to my cousin, at least i can be truthful to my parents when spending quality moments together.

 

For others who plan to come out or accidentally out by someone, no doubt can be very harsh at first for some, why not try assure parents only them among family friends or relatives know abt your sexuality, and that you really wish to be truthful to them. Give them sometimes, you will be surprise they would actually do homeworks to read up stuffs about relationship issues that face by gay guys.. they just want you to be happy and know how to emotionally support you as parents. 

 

If they totally cant or refuse to accept you becasuse of their ego and pride, then am sorry cant advice further as am allergic to selfish parents who value their ego/pride above their children's happiness. For those who disagree, just fyi, my parents are now in their 70s, or mandarin educated, and that my family dont believe in practice 愚孝. Its also children responsibility to help parents to grow both mentally and emtionally.

 

I also have to admit its kind of disturbing to read YOUR comments in support of voluntary outing oneself to one family here, even after you go through the pain personally. I am also allergic to selfish children who impose their own way of life on their parents because you value your "curated smile covering with lies" more than your parents' "ego/pride". But at least you were accidentally outed by your cousin, instead of forcing your own sexuality into your parents' life. 

 

For those who are so inspired by this person GEO and would love to get "Almost got kicked out by (your) dad", and not have it "easy to reestablish communication with them", feel free to go out yourself to your family. But again, don't forget this: in Geo's own words, you are on your own "If they totally cant or refuse to accept you becasuse of their ego and pride, then am sorry cant advice further"... 

 

Like I've said, whatever the consequences. you need to live with them yourself, regardless if you are ready for them or not. If you are not prepared to take the heat, don't take the plunge. 

 

P.S. As for the rest of bandwidth-wasting posts from some si angmoh about falling coconuts etc, there's really nothing for me to respond to. 

[Guest bitter]

The only disturbing thing is your harsh reaction to everyone who speaks out against your point of view.

 

You can't even let the recollection of a personal experience stand against your moral values and depict your personal view always as superior to others.

Others are always wrong, you are the only righteous person in Singapore.

You don't allow others to have an own opinion.

Then you take up all these battles everywhere as if you are the designated saviour to take up fights against evil, immorality, sins, wrongs....

Lately, you prefer to copy and paste any post and just turn what someone says back against him and rephrase to your liking what others wrote. I m talking of this:

 

1 hour ago, Geo said:

Have to admit its kind of disturbing to read this Guest Guest's comments here. Can you stop being such childish keep mentioning abt east or west cultural differences?

 

If they totally cant or refuse to accept you becasuse of their ego and pride, then am sorry cant advice further as am allergic to selfish parents who value their ego/pride above their children's happiness. For those who disagree, just fyi, my parents are now in their 70s, or mandarin educated, and that my family dont believe in practice 愚孝. Its also children responsibility to help parents to grow both mentally and emtionally.

 

26 minutes ago, Guest Guest said:

 

I also have to admit its kind of disturbing to read YOUR comments in support of voluntary outing oneself to one family here, even after you go through the pain personally. I am also allergic to selfish children who impose their own way of life on their parents because you value your "curated smile covering with lies" more than your parents' "ego/pride". But at least you were accidentally outed by your cousin, instead of forcing your own sexuality into your parents' life. 

 

 

If reflects lack of creativity not being able to take up things in your own words and evidence of 1960s to 70s passing through Singapore's education system.

 

Clear is your intention to ridicule others or belittle them.

 

You simply reflect a serious issue in tolerance, accepting differing views if not lack of mental sanity in permitting others to have a different opinion to yours.

You will fight to your last breath with your glimmering shine in your eyes as if you were victorious in your battle, but not realising only having lost touch to reality.

 

I conclude you are a fountain of richness and discovery for every psychiatrist...

 

[Geo]

26 minutes ago, Guest Guest said:

 

I also have to admit its kind of disturbing to read YOUR comments in support of voluntary outing oneself to one family here, even after you go through the pain personally. I am also allergic to selfish children who impose their own way of life on their parents because you value your "curated smile covering with lies" more than your parents' "ego/pride". But at least you were accidentally outed by your cousin, instead of forcing your own sexuality into your parents' life. 

 

For those who are so inspired by this person GEO and would love to get "Almost got kicked out by (your) dad", and not have it "easy to reestablish communication with them", feel free to go out yourself to your family. But again, don't forget this: in Geo's own words, you are on your own "If they totally cant or refuse to accept you becasuse of their ego and pride, then am sorry cant advice further"... 

 

Like I've said, whatever the consequences. you need to live with them yourself, regardless if you are ready for them or not. If you are not prepared to take the heat, don't take the plunge. 

 

P.S. As for the rest of bandwidth-wasting posts from some si angmoh about falling coconuts etc, there's really nothing for me to respond to. 

 

roflol! wow have to salute your level of interpretation 😆 oh well, will respect your choice if you want to interpret it that way  😄 whatever that make you happy la.

 

Ironically, there is one thing i totally agreed with you is this statement - 

 

"Like I've said, whatever the consequences. you need to live with them yourself, regardless if you are ready for them or not. If you are not prepared to take the heat, don't take the plunge. "

 

Alright, enough attention given to you.

 

Now lets focus back to this thread owner. I may not be the best person to advice. Just want to highlight that if you intend or accidentally out to your parents, try help them to adapt to the truth by giving them some assurances, space and time. Not easy, and cant guarantee will happen but you may find the outcomes warmth, have more touching memories together and the bonding with your parents actually growing stronger as they get older. Remember the sun will always out regardless level 100 typhoon or long dreadful storm. So, bro stay bright with hopes, hopefully things that you are pursuing this year, especially how you want to manage your secret with your parents, and your works will get better 😉加油噢 😄

[xiaomimi]

On 1/31/2020 at 11:53 PM, fab said:

 

Unfortunately the only way to prove it is you will have to go to the the other side to see it personally. 

Well done sunny 

[Guest Hart]

On 1/31/2020 at 11:03 PM, Guest Know said:

I'm worried that if one day (touch wood) my parents pass away (everyone will leave this world), knows that I am gay n have been involved in man to man sex, cruising n my gay behaviour, will they be dissapointed? When my mom told me where she put all her valuable assets n add my name in her bank acct name, I feel so sad even as I was typing this. I know this day will come. N she has been started to arrange things in the event shes not ard so that it would be easy on us. I couldnt imagine if they are not ard anymore. I feel so lonely. 

 

As the Bible said, all secrets will be unfold at the end of the day.

[FattChoy]

On 1/31/2020 at 11:03 PM, Guest Know said:

I'm worried that if one day (touch wood) my parents pass away (everyone will leave this world), knows that I am gay n have been involved in man to man sex, cruising n my gay behaviour, will they be dissapointed? When my mom told me where she put all her valuable assets n add my name in her bank acct name, I feel so sad even as I was typing this. I know this day will come. N she has been started to arrange things in the event shes not ard so that it would be easy on us. I couldnt imagine if they are not ard anymore. I feel so lonely. 

Reading this, I feel sad  you feel so much guilt just for being or even feeling that you have sexual inclinations towards other men, doing things normal to gay men, or even men in general. 

 

You are proby still a young man trying to find his way in this world and it doesn't help to grow up in a country like Singapore which traditionally stigmatize gay men and their behavior.  

 

You can't help feeling how you feel because you're made that way.  IMO, there is no need for you to feel shame towards other people for doing the things you do which doesn't affect them, (especially if you're not being annoying loud. Loud gay people who wear their horniness on their sleeves are a curse and makes other people feel awkward as hell). There is even lesser need for you to worry about feeling any shame towards any dead loved ones in the future.  There is no need to speculate about how dead people feel, if they don't already know.

 

Heck, these days I don't even give a f if God is watching all my missteps.  Is he supposed to be a loving creator or just someone up there who keep tracks of our sins with a big book?  Or is he just someone other people blindly describe to you?

 

Sex is a big part of life.  Embrace it with both arms open.  Never apologize for it if you're a civilized single man going about his life privately.

Edited June 11, 2021 by FattChoy

[Guest Know]

Am I just a defective product of God creation? Or am I created this way by God? 

[Guest Heidi]

On 6/11/2021 at 12:07 PM, Guest Know said:

Am I just a defective product of God creation? Or am I created this way by God? 

 You were created pure but corruptee by the devil

[Guest Joseph]

I believe they will know. When we die, our physical body is the one that really died. Our soul lives on and can appear anywhere we want. We can monitor all the happenings while we remain unseen.

[Guest Sho]

When people had Rhinoplasty, what would theor spirit look like when they died? Before or after?

[Steve5380]

On 6/10/2021 at 11:07 PM, Guest Know said:

Am I just a defective product of God creation? Or am I created this way by God? 

 

If God created us,  then he is an irresponsible manufacturer of products full of defects.  We all have multiple defects,  and it is clear that the DESIGN itself is questionable. It is marvelous for our comprehension,  but inferior at the level of a god.

 

So stop worrying about you as a product.  YOU should be the judge of what is "defect" in you,  and when at times this is your conclusion, do what you feel is right to correct the defect, if possible.  No stranger has any right to get involved in this,  it is your OWN business.

[Guest Guest]

On 1/31/2020 at 11:03 PM, Guest Know said:

I'm worried that if one day (touch wood) my parents pass away (everyone will leave this world), knows that I am gay n have been involved in man to man sex, cruising n my gay behaviour, will they be dissapointed? When my mom told me where she put all her valuable assets n add my name in her bank acct name, I feel so sad even as I was typing this. I know this day will come. N she has been started to arrange things in the event shes not ard so that it would be easy on us. I couldnt imagine if they are not ard anymore. I feel so lonely. 

 

Interestingly, I had an uncle who passed away during the circuit breaker period of the pandemic.

After that, I went to ask my Taoist deities if my uncle now knows that I am gay, since I am closeted, and he was very kind and good to me when he was alive. Like you, I was afraid that my uncle would be disappointed in me if he found out I was gay.

 

The deities' answer is that he still doesn't know, because my uncle's soul has already moved on to the next phase of his spiritual journey.

 

I also asked if my uncle's soul ever came back to visit me after his death. The deities said 'no'. 

 

Then I asked the deities if they can help me to pass a message to my uncle. They say they cannot, because they "cannot go to where he is, because he is in a different part of heaven".

I'm not sure what that means, but I didn't force it.

 

So whether a family member who passes on will find out that you were gay all along will depend on many factors, I guess.

 

Even if they find out, I believe they will continue to love and understand you, if they had been good to you when they were alive. Because then they would be able to see all your hurts and struggles in life, and not just your sexual orientation, which is just a very small part of you.