For those who cheated on their partner, do you live with regret?

[TT2880]

Hi,

 

For those who cheated and had his the other better half found out. What happened to your relationship? What was your after thought? If you could turned back the clock, would you still cheat? 

 

Thank you. 

[fab]

5 minutes ago, TT2880 said:

Hi,

 

For those who cheated and had his the other better half found out. What happened to your relationship? What was your after thought? If you could turned back the clock, would you still cheat? 

 

Thank you. 

 

Those who cheat will not regret.

 

Those who will regret will not cheat. 

[TT2880]

6 hours ago, fab said:

 

Those who cheat will not regret.

 

Those who will regret will not cheat. 

 

Those who eat will not shit.

Those who shit will not eat. 

Lol. 

[shrugs]

8 hours ago, TT2880 said:

Hi,

 

For those who cheated and had his the other better half found out. What happened to your relationship? What was your after thought? If you could turned back the clock, would you still cheat? 

 

Thank you. 

Hmm someone shitted cheated on you?

[TT2880]

Hi,

 

Is to draw the experience from cheaters whom might in their later time in life see a different perspective on their past action of cheating their partners. There is of course people who are so obsessed with their sensual lust that they might not see it now or even never.

 

For those who being thru such a painful past, if you have put the past behind and is comfortable to share how you dealt with the situation, it will be good to hear from you too. What was the outcome? 

 

Hope this clarifies. 

 

Thank you. 

 

 

 

 

[wilfgene]

When one has come to consider REGRET as one of life experience,

all that is left is toying with ideas,

"What if I didn't?".

"What if I did?",

as with other choices one has made.

Even after excessively listening to Patty Austin's "Any Other Fool" lately.  

[TT2880]

3 hours ago, wilfgene said:

When one has come to consider REGRET as one of life experience,

all that is left is toying with ideas,

"What if I didn't?".

"What if I did?",

as with other choices one has made.

Even after excessively listening to Patty Austin's "Any Other Fool" lately.  

Hi,

 

If I read your comments correctly, you see the stage of regret is an end to a past. So no point bringing it up again as it is not going to change anything. 

 

How about seeing "Regret" as a start rather than an end? 

 

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. Much appreciated. 

[tyan]

Isn’t it depends on how deep the love the guy for his partner? If he loved him deep enough, u will not cheat. But is this too idealistic?

[transmissionsm]

I sucked a few dicks since my marriage 2 years ago. No regrets.

 

I managed to stay out of all these since my marriage until during a staycation when my wife go crazy. Basically silent treatment for the entire duration of our 3d2n staycation. Tried to talk to her nicely, try to joke but got ignored. (It's a god damn terrible feeling to be ignored)

So i downloaded grindr , managed to find a malaysian man staying in the same hotel and just went over to suck him off. Since then i'm back but haven't had much luck meeting other guys.

 

I don't want to justify my actions because i know it's wrong. but seriously when your partner give u shit then I think it's only fair that they don't deserved me being faithful.

 

My marriage is still ok so far, have a cute toddler son who I love very much. I still love my wife but i'm no longer faithful. Let's just say that i'll still hook up whenever I can. (Not easy when staying with wife)

Nowadays if she ignore me, then i'll just do my own things like gaming or work till she's back to normal.

 

[fab]

52 minutes ago, transmissionsm said:

I sucked a few dicks since my marriage 2 years ago. No regrets.

 

I managed to stay out of all these since my marriage until during a staycation when my wife go crazy. Basically silent treatment for the entire duration of our 3d2n staycation. Tried to talk to her nicely, try to joke but got ignored. (It's a god damn terrible feeling to be ignored)

So i downloaded grindr , managed to find a malaysian man staying in the same hotel and just went over to suck him off. Since then i'm back but haven't had much luck meeting other guys.

 

I don't want to justify my actions because i know it's wrong. but seriously when your partner give u shit then I think it's only fair that they don't deserved me being faithful.

 

My marriage is still ok so far, have a cute toddler son who I love very much. I still love my wife but i'm no longer faithful. Let's just say that i'll still hook up whenever I can. (Not easy when staying with wife)

Nowadays if she ignore me, then i'll just do my own things like gaming or work till she's back to normal.

 

 

Did you do anything to upset her to switch to the crazy silent treatment? 

[lean n mean]

Just my opinion - I think it's survival instinct not to regret your whole life, no matter what it is (cheating in this case). It will only be a matter of time before the guilt or regret fades into oblivion. For those who cant let it go, they may end up clinically depressed. 

[yuquidam]

20 hours ago, TT2880 said:

 

Those who eat will not shit.

Those who shit will not eat. 

Lol. 

Or

Those who eat will get the shit

Those who do not eat will get no shit

Whaaat a shit!

Lol

Edited June 7, 2020 by yuquidam

[TT2880]

2 hours ago, transmissionsm said:

I sucked a few dicks since my marriage 2 years ago. No regrets.

 

I managed to stay out of all these since my marriage until during a staycation when my wife go crazy. Basically silent treatment for the entire duration of our 3d2n staycation. Tried to talk to her nicely, try to joke but got ignored. (It's a god damn terrible feeling to be ignored)

So i downloaded grindr , managed to find a malaysian man staying in the same hotel and just went over to suck him off. Since then i'm back but haven't had much luck meeting other guys.

 

I don't want to justify my actions because i know it's wrong. but seriously when your partner give u shit then I think it's only fair that they don't deserved me being faithful.

 

My marriage is still ok so far, have a cute toddler son who I love very much. I still love my wife but i'm no longer faithful. Let's just say that i'll still hook up whenever I can. (Not easy when staying with wife)

Nowadays if she ignore me, then i'll just do my own things like gaming or work till she's back to normal.

 

Hi,

Thank you for such a truthful and revealing sharing of what happened between you and your wife. 

 

From your words, I feel that you would have stopped your act outside your marriage if your wife were to act in a more rational manner. A staycation with your wife is meant to be bonding and happy, but something happened, and it became the opposite. Despite your every effort to coax her, she stubbornly gave you the cold shoulder. Who can possibly endure that? And you felt pointless to cheer her up. Might as well leave her alone and let thing just be. 

 

Because she had persistently ignored you, you feel terrible. You felt what hv you done to deserve such ill treatment fr her. Yes, perhaps it was a moment of carelessness that might screwed up the otherwise lovely staycation. But you hv done everything you could to redeem. And what else does she want? That is ultimately stressing on your patience and you hate it. It is her that drove you to seek thrill elsewhere so to ease yourself fr the imbalance and frustration. 

 

You said is wrong, you are aware. Your search for thrill however continues. Apparently due to the fact that your wife has not realised how her way of ignoring your feelings has drove you away quietly. Probably that is why you don't feel the regret. 

 

Now you hv pinned your hope in this marriage on your cute toddler son. Everything else, actually specifically your wife, isn't important any more. 

 

Again, thanks for this candid sharing of a no regret cheating. 

 

 

Edited June 7, 2020 by TT2880
Amend

[TT2880]

1 hour ago, lean n mean said:

Just my opinion - I think it's survival instinct not to regret your whole life, no matter what it is (cheating in this case). It will only be a matter of time before the guilt or regret fades into oblivion. For those who cant let it go, they may end up clinically depressed. 

Hi, 

 

Thanks for taking your time to share your opinion. 

 

One thing perhaps I like to add on. Personally, I think Regret alone does not lead to depression. But when regret is combined with a prolonged negative emotion, then that possibility arises. Eg. Regret + prolonged state of sorrow. No?

 

 

[TT2880]

47 minutes ago, yuquidam said:

Or

Those who eat will get the shit

Those who do not eat will get no shit

Whaaat a shit!

Lol

Good try. 

Glad you find it funny. 

[yuquidam]

3 minutes ago, TT2880 said:

Good try. 

Glad you find it funny. 

 

[yuquidam]

2 hours ago, transmissionsm said:

I sucked a few dicks since my marriage 2 years ago. No regrets.

 

I managed to stay out of all these since my marriage until during a staycation....

 

Could it be bcos wife found out about your other "activities"? Cold shoulder might be a sign of experiencing deep hurt too.

Very sorry to hear that things took a downturn during staycation.

Edited June 7, 2020 by yuquidam

[transmissionsm]

15 hours ago, TT2880 said:

Hi,

Thank you for such a truthful and revealing sharing of what happened between you and your wife. 

 

From your words, I feel that you would have stopped your act outside your marriage if your wife were to act in a more rational manner. A staycation with your wife is meant to be bonding and happy, but something happened, and it became the opposite. Despite your every effort to coax her, she stubbornly gave you the cold shoulder. Who can possibly endure that? And you felt pointless to cheer her up. Might as well leave her alone and let thing just be. 

 

Because she had persistently ignored you, you feel terrible. You felt what hv you done to deserve such ill treatment fr her. Yes, perhaps it was a moment of carelessness that might screwed up the otherwise lovely staycation. But you hv done everything you could to redeem. And what else does she want? That is ultimately stressing on your patience and you hate it. It is her that drove you to seek thrill elsewhere so to ease yourself fr the imbalance and frustration. 

 

You said is wrong, you are aware. Your search for thrill however continues. Apparently due to the fact that your wife has not realised how her way of ignoring your feelings has drove you away quietly. Probably that is why you don't feel the regret. 

 

Now you hv pinned your hope in this marriage on your cute toddler son. Everything else, actually specifically your wife, isn't important any more. 

 

Again, thanks for this candid sharing of a no regret cheating. 

 

 

 

yeah i just hope ppl who give silent treatment knows how bad it is.

They probably thought it's a small matter of ignoring someone but that someone (in my case) i thought of divorcing her.

I don't know if she knows how close we are to a divorce just because of silent treatment but we already have a baby back then during staycation and also at the same time i kept thinking to myself..divorce is a huge thing do I really want to do that?

 

Glad I didn't.

 

[wilfgene]

1 hour ago, transmissionsm said:

 

yeah i just hope ppl who give silent treatment knows how bad it is.

They probably thought it's a small matter of ignoring someone but that someone (in my case) i thought of divorcing her.

I don't know if she knows how close we are to a divorce just because of silent treatment but we already have a baby back then during staycation and also at the same time i kept thinking to myself..divorce is a huge thing do I really want to do that?

 

Glad I didn't.

 

Have you toyed with the idea of your own reaction if your son tells you that instead of being straight, he is bisexual, or even pure homosexual? 

Instead of orally-erotic, he is anally?

 

Edited June 8, 2020 by wilfgene

[TT2880]

57 minutes ago, transmissionsm said:

 

yeah i just hope ppl who give silent treatment knows how bad it is.

They probably thought it's a small matter of ignoring someone but that someone (in my case) i thought of divorcing her.

I don't know if she knows how close we are to a divorce just because of silent treatment but we already have a baby back then during staycation and also at the same time i kept thinking to myself..divorce is a huge thing do I really want to do that?

 

Glad I didn't.

 

 

Gd morning. 

 

The silence treatment fr your wife sure has caused deep pain in you. To the point you even contemplated the option of divorce. You didn't but you found solace fr meetups and fun. Meanwhile, The arrival of your son injected fresh happiness in you. He is also a distraction fr your wife. Every thing seems better now. Is not jus you and her. Now there is you, her, him and many more him (strangers you meetup). Thus, you felt glad. These Sounds really pretty fine. 

 

Is natural of us, man or women, to want to be happy. To get the attention we need physical and emotionally. Sadly, in reality this may not always be the case. So we look elsewhere. But, deep in us when we do something that we know it is not right, but find it near to impossible to resist that fun and the pleasure. We naturally will find reasons to justify. Although you said you are not going to justify your act, actually you already did.

 

Before your son came, you were able to justify your act as it was jus the 2 of you. But now as a father, do you see a swift in your thought about your occasional meet ups? Have you not struggled not to repeat it? Yes?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[TT2880]

18 minutes ago, wilfgene said:

Have you toyed with the idea of your own reaction if your son tells you that instead of being straight, he is bisexual, or even pure homosexual? 

Instead of orally-erotic, he is anally?

 

Hahaha.

 

Perhaps is more reasonable and more likely that he toyed with the idea that you are what he would like you to be for him. The gratification can be now. 

 

I guess we are constantly flooded with wild imagination. Imagination are traits that are actively promoted in our education system under the name of creativity. But we never see that what forms in our mind can really goes out of range without us knowing. And we thought these are normal and harmless. This is often referred to as our monkey mind. 

[wilfgene]

21 hours ago, TT2880 said:

Hi,

 

If I read your comments correctly, you see the stage of regret is an end to a past. So no point bringing it up again as it is not going to change anything. 

 

How about seeing "Regret" as a start rather than an end? 

 

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. Much appreciated. 

Too much time lately for recollection and deduction/fantasizing.

Through yesterdays, I reach today, still hope for and look forward to tomorrow.

There is at least one point in bring regrets/past up - connecting with/empathy for others in same predicament NOW. 

Even though I'll need to forbid myself to feel jolly that your life goes down the pit as mine did, I somehow feel "in touch" with a world beyond me.

21 hours ago, tyan said:

Isn’t it depends on how deep the love the guy for his partner? If he loved him deep enough, u will not cheat. But is this too idealistic?

Your ideal seems simple, but humans are complicated creatures.

There are those in Relationships to enjoy committing adultery.

 

Reminded of AtlasStar's recent status updates on feeling being short-changed in past relationships.

I wonder if he has reduced feeling sorry for himself,

and found out that if he bothers to self reflect on the points at which he found himself short-changed,

these points Connect into a line - his own bottom line.   

 

Edited June 8, 2020 by wilfgene

[shrugs]

5 hours ago, transmissionsm said:

 

yeah i just hope ppl who give silent treatment knows how bad it is.

They probably thought it's a small matter of ignoring someone but that someone (in my case) i thought of divorcing her.

I don't know if she knows how close we are to a divorce just because of silent treatment but we already have a baby back then during staycation and also at the same time i kept thinking to myself..divorce is a huge thing do I really want to do that?

 

Glad I didn't.

 

 

i agree with you. i absolutely abhor passive aggressive people in general. 

silent treatment or other displays of passive aggressiveness is a damn selfish act, and doesn't help solve anything at all.

as a couple (what more a married couple), communication is so important. 

even if one is angry, the very least is to ask for timeout or cool down period, then come back to communicate. 

i understand your frustration. 

but to be honest, if you are cheating in order to stay in a marriage, then there is really no point also. 

you are hurting yourself only because the guilt will always creep back and make you more unhappy. 

 

 

 

Edited June 8, 2020 by shrugs

[TT2880]

On 6/8/2020 at 9:49 AM, wilfgene said:

Too much time lately for recollection and deduction/fantasizing.

Through yesterdays, I reach today, still hope for and look forward to tomorrow.

There is at least one point in bring regrets/past up - connecting with/empathy for others in same predicament NOW. 

Even though I'll need to forbid myself to feel jolly that your life goes down the pit as mine did, I somehow feel "in touch" with a world beyond me.

Your ideal seems simple, but humans are complicated creatures.

There are those in Relationships to enjoy committing adultery.

 

Reminded of AtlasStar's recent status updates on feeling being short-changed in past relationships.

I wonder if he has reduced feeling sorry for himself,

and found out that if he bothers to self reflect on the points at which he found himself short-changed,

these points Connect into a line - his own bottom line.   

 

 

So much sentiments. I think I see your point, but I doubt I do.

[Guest Kahlol]

On 6/6/2020 at 1:07 PM, TT2880 said:

Hi,

 

For those who cheated and had his the other better half found out. What happened to your relationship? What was your after thought? If you could turned back the clock, would you still cheat? 

 

Thank you. 

 

I'm not bitter but I'm also wondering why he cheated.

[Guest Jackie]

I have been pondering on the famous line by famous people. "I'm just doing what the rest of the guys are doing". 

 

Maybe 99.9% guys masturbate but does 99.9% guys eating outside?

[TT2880]

7 hours ago, Guest Kahlol said:

 

I'm not bitter but I'm also wondering why he cheated.

Hi,

Wondering... happens when we don't hv an answer, out of choice or without a choice. Is it too hard to ask and listen to him? 

[TT2880]

2 hours ago, Guest Jackie said:

I have been pondering on the famous line by famous people. "I'm just doing what the rest of the guys are doing". 

 

Maybe 99.9% guys masturbate but does 99.9% guys eating outside?

Hi, 

 

But what about those who are faithful? Why do they choose to cheat and not do what the rest of the faithful guys are doing?

[Guest Lyndor]

I hope my ex-bf is happy now with by ex-bestfriend. 

[doncoin]

On 7/25/2022 at 11:02 AM, Guest Lyndor said:

I hope my ex-bf is happy now with by ex-bestfriend. 

 

 

Whatever has happened, happened. It sucks, and it is painful going through it, being betrayed by 2 people who were close to you. An option for you is to move on which I hope you did, or consider a throuple situation if your relationship with both of them is important to you, and it is something you are all open to. 

[Guest Bradd]

Secret is always revealed in your lifetime. Can't hide it forever

[Guest Guest]

On 6/8/2020 at 8:09 AM, transmissionsm said:

 

yeah i just hope ppl who give silent treatment knows how bad it is.

They probably thought it's a small matter of ignoring someone but that someone (in my case) i thought of divorcing her.

I don't know if she knows how close we are to a divorce just because of silent treatment but we already have a baby back then during staycation and also at the same time i kept thinking to myself..divorce is a huge thing do I really want to do that?

 

Glad I didn't.

 

I absolutely agree that it’s very bad. Mine can last for weeks and no matter what you do, they just won’t budge. Then the heart dies slowly, bit by bit and you question why you are together in the first place. If this was at the beginning of a relationship, I would have walked away and out of it.