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[help] erectile dysfunction for a fit guy in late twenties


anon6789

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hi, i'm a reasonably healthy/fit guy in my late twenties - gym and run pretty often, am lean and generally have a clean bill of health.

 

when i meet up with guys or even when i did massage with 'happy ending', i realise that while i can have an erection due to initial arousal/excitement, i tend to lose the erection (become flaccid) shortly after, even if i am aroused/being stimulated by the other person. i have no issues sustaining an erection for long periods of time if i am by myself, e.g., when i'm at home and masturbate myself, looking at stuff that turns me on (e.g., hot shirtless guys in speedos/underwear, not naked though). 

 

one thing that seems to help is if i see myself in the mirror / see what the other person is doing to me in the mirror. then if i stroke myself, i can regain the erection shortly after. but still embarrassing to not be able to sustain the erection 'naturally'. 

 

i suspect it may be linked to stress/anxiety, and/or being self conscious about my (naked) body or how i look naked, or maybe just stressing myself about whether i can stay erect, etc. i am generally quite a stress/anxious person but for now not too bad that i can't cope with it in my daily life. 

 

any advice or how to seek help please? thank you very much!! 

 

 

 

 

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Hi TS,

 

It could be psychological or physiological. I suggest you speak to an appropriate expert/doctor first and see what he says. 

 

My lay opinion would be, based on the account provided, is that you're too self conscious about your "nakedness", and while there are healthy things you can do about it, I worry you might take it wrongly. For example, it can serve as a good motivation to workout and feel good about yourself but to strive zealously just to pander for lust sake (till it affects your libido), that's a bit extreme and not healthy. 

 

Then again, take it easy. Reflect on yourself with good counsel and I'm sure you'll be fine.

A truly accomplished wallflower.....
Not an expert so if you're gonna rely on my advice, please keep in mind to do it at your own risk. 

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13 hours ago, Meowz said:

Hi TS,

 

It could be psychological or physiological. I suggest you speak to an appropriate expert/doctor first and see what he says. 

 

My lay opinion would be, based on the account provided, is that you're too self conscious about your "nakedness", and while there are healthy things you can do about it, I worry you might take it wrongly. For example, it can serve as a good motivation to workout and feel good about yourself but to strive zealously just to pander for lust sake (till it affects your libido), that's a bit extreme and not healthy. 

 

Then again, take it easy. Reflect on yourself with good counsel and I'm sure you'll be fine.

 

thanks! i think cos im generally an "overthinker" / perfectionist, i will subconsciously be thinking like oh no what if i cant erect/sustain the erection, etc. even if im not actually actively/consciously thinking abt it. 

 

so might need some psychological help etc. 

 

do you (or anyone else) know if getting a referral to see a specialist for this, via polyclinic, is generally an option tt can be pursued if i want to minimise costs? 

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2 minutes ago, anon6789 said:

 

thanks! i think cos im generally an "overthinker" / perfectionist, i will subconsciously be thinking like oh no what if i cant erect/sustain the erection, etc. even if im not actually actively/consciously thinking abt it. 

 

so might need some psychological help etc. 

 

do you (or anyone else) know if getting a referral to see a specialist for this, via polyclinic, is generally an option tt can be pursued if i want to minimise costs? 

 

Perhaps, you might want to check and discuss the matter with a urologist? so that he/she can eliminate any concern pertaining to the physiological aspect of it. Specialist consultation is usually around $120-170 for the first visit but i bet its worth skipping all that beating around the bush experience. The same doctor should be able to recommend the next step for you to manage yourself. Alternatively, if you have a supportive and mature bf, talk it out with him and pace yourself or even try out new experiences. 

 

You should read up and make an appointment only when you are confident to do so.

 

But I think you should be fine :) without going seeing anyone, just try to find a reason to be confident of yourself. Good luck

 

A truly accomplished wallflower.....
Not an expert so if you're gonna rely on my advice, please keep in mind to do it at your own risk. 

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13 minutes ago, Meowz said:

 

Perhaps, you might want to check and discuss the matter with a urologist? so that he/she can eliminate any concern pertaining to the physiological aspect of it. Specialist consultation is usually around $120-170 for the first visit but i bet its worth skipping all that beating around the bush experience. The same doctor should be able to recommend the next step for you to manage yourself. Alternatively, if you have a supportive and mature bf, talk it out with him and pace yourself or even try out new experiences. 

 

You should read up and make an appointment only when you are confident to do so.

 

But I think you should be fine :) without going seeing anyone, just try to find a reason to be confident of yourself. Good luck

 

 

hi, any idea if it would be best to go through a polyclinic referral for this? and this 120-170 is the subsidised rate at public hospitals? 

 

i'm not currently seeing anyone so that's a complication lol, in terms of testing/trying it out lol

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3 hours ago, anon6789 said:

 

hi, any idea if it would be best to go through a polyclinic referral for this? and this 120-170 is the subsidised rate at public hospitals? 

 

i'm not currently seeing anyone so that's a complication lol, in terms of testing/trying it out lol

 

Well you can try polyclinic - I don't know what they would say though :) 120-170 is going as a private patient.

A truly accomplished wallflower.....
Not an expert so if you're gonna rely on my advice, please keep in mind to do it at your own risk. 

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Heard abt nofap? Or the movement to not watch porn? While I think it is nearly impossible to stay away from porn forever, I think you can try reducing drastically and see if it works? Since watching yourself in the mirror is a little like watching porn, maybe that was the reliance you had to remain aroused. There's a lot of anecdotal evidence on this matter. You can google it and see how ppl vouch that it has rewired their brains and improved their sex lives - in fact their general lives as they feel more confident and happier. I'm not demonising porn. I'm just saying maybe try watching lesser.

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I ever get fuck by a top guy his cock is massive. Is hard to get asian guy malay with 8.7 long as thick as ice nescafe can. Cut long story i  ask him how he  get this massive cock he just mentioned to me is avoid cold icy drink must get traditional full body and manhood plus daily penis pump and with traditional oil for manhood. Few years later he get this massive cock before he super btm get gangbang abd double fuck now he turn to super top fuck like stallion. We still intouch for great sex.

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On 8/12/2020 at 5:21 AM, Totalwildness said:

Heard abt nofap? Or the movement to not watch porn? While I think it is nearly impossible to stay away from porn forever, I think you can try reducing drastically and see if it works? Since watching yourself in the mirror is a little like watching porn, maybe that was the reliance you had to remain aroused. There's a lot of anecdotal evidence on this matter. You can google it and see how ppl vouch that it has rewired their brains and improved their sex lives - in fact their general lives as they feel more confident and happier. I'm not demonising porn. I'm just saying maybe try watching lesser.

 

I was thinking along this line as well. Probably worth a try, even though it is tough!

 

I am certain it is not a physical problem, at most maybe do a blood test for testosterone level.

 

One other option is to speak to a sympathetic doctor about getting some viagra. Maybe have a small dose prior to your session. Should be pretty harmless. @anon6789

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Please seek help and get the doctors to assess you a proper check on T-Levels and other hormonal checks as well. Might need to go on a short term course of meds. Make lifestyle changes according to their advice and diet.

 

If doesnt work could be mental. All else fails can try blue pill.

 

I had this issus for about a year, had to change habits and diet ... things went back to normal

 

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1 hour ago, Qqnam said:

Hey, I have same problem as you. I get advice from specialist doctor and is not work. I decided to try Chinese medicine doctor. Although the treatment is taken longer, but I can see the effect now.

hmm can provide more info re: the tcm treatment that u got? would it be generally available at all TCM places? (not that i've previously gone for any TCM though lol)

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15 minutes ago, Since u r here said:

gd thing worth the wait

if u want it faster, go to a Men's clinic : many outlet to pick from - https://www.drtanandpartners.com/category/mens-health/

 

 

Agree, must wait. If really want fast go private.
Medical science is very advanced, with viagra, we are pretty ok ...

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On 8/8/2020 at 10:41 PM, anon6789 said:

 

hi @anon6789,
thank u for ur courage to show openly about something that is quite embarrassing in an Asian context, KUDOS FOR SEEKING HELP HERE... so i really hope i can help thru my sharing...
                                      
Since age 21yo,
I have been diagnosed with low testosterone & erectile dysfunction.

& yes, I gym & use the treadmill alot, but i cannot satisfy a man in bed =( also clean bill of health, not a smoker or drinker...

                                                

i did a massage recently, 
had a happy ending,
did i manage to stay hard, after having an erection? YES.
can i jerk off at home,        after having an erection? YES.

do i find it embarrassing to not be able to sustain the erection 'naturally'?

absolutely no, becoz i have no issue with a shorter dick, coz i have a thick dick. Most men want a long penis but when mine is hard, it isn't elongated, it becomes thick =)
                                                          

i am not a doctor but do HERBAL SUPPLEMENTS WORK as effectively AS SEXUAL PERFORMANCE DRUGS?
ANSWER: NO. I have tried more than 10 supplements-brands from online retailers, & none of them can improve my erection tbh, any which promises U one is probably bullshitting=(
                                                                                                                                  

SO HOW TO inc/improve an erection normally?
well, my bff swears by lingzhi> DON'T ASK ME WHAT BRAND HE BUYS... coz i don't know. a year of taking it & his performance in bed is NOW very good... so he says...

for me, don't ask me why this happens but eating high amounts of fish oil has magically inc the FREQUENCY of erections i have in a day & makes my dick hard.

                                      
before i go,

do u need to see a doctor in private practice for the recommended medical procedure?
tbh, i asked my Doctor( the question above), & he referred me to see Dr Poh BK, a Urologist in private practice & what happened after paying him $150 for the 1st consult?
                                                                                                                                      
GOOD NEWS: 
(1) i don't have a micro penis, after he did a physical/penile examination,
(2) Viagra 50mg will help me perform by making my dick go from 5" to very thick but are there side effects? YES, up to 40% of pple( from the clinical studies done) suffer from flushing as a side effect> this means during sex U mite be uncomfortable being at an elevated temp & ur parter will say something like, "Are u having a fever?"... 
(3) are there any drugs out there, erectogenics which doesn't have any side effects? Answer is "No". 
                                          
Life is all about "PROS & CONS"... so U have to measure the benefits of taking pills... versus the costs of the side effects & other long-term-damage-done to ur body.

=)

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From my perspective, you are putting yourself under too much pressure and stress to perform perfectly or not having issues during fun.

 

Best would be a very understanding sex partner to have sex experience.

 

I don't think it's physical but purely psychological.

 

My suggestion is to find a suitable sex partner who is patient to run through the sex phases and helps you to overcome your issue.

 

Viagra or other those pills won't be the solution in your case.

 

I assume you are a late bloomer and just opened up on gay sex.

 

Learn to see sex as something natural and not as a sports competition where you have to win every match. Learn to take away the performance pressure . Open up to your sex partners and meet those friendly types who show support and understanding.

 

Eventually joining a 4some would help to, as you can learn on what the other tops do and how.

 

Most important, learn to look up on yourself and stop thinking what others see in you.

The fact other guys meeting you for sex is sufficient evidence that you don't look like Frankenstein. Build up your self esteem. Start trusting yourself.

 

What some said about porn is correct. Real sex doesn't work the same as porn.

 

 

 

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19 hours ago, anon6789 said:

hmm can provide more info re: the tcm treatment that u got? would it be generally available at all TCM places? (not that i've previously gone for any TCM though lol)

I visit 庆德堂at Kallang wave point. Treatment such as acupuncture and Chinese medicine. Not sure if is  available at all tcm. Mine is male practitioner.

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9 hours ago, Qqnam said:

I visit 庆德堂at Kallang wave point. Treatment such as acupuncture and Chinese medicine. Not sure if is  available at all tcm. Mine is male practitioner.

What did the tcm doctor do? Acupuncture where n any improvement ? Thx. 

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i went to Eu Yan Sang to seek TCM treatment a few months back also for a month of treatment.

 

Told the doctor that i feel my ejaculate was too watery and my erection was not hard and I have not been experiencing morning wood for like almost a year already (prior to going to the TCM in end May)

 

Was told that I was abit heaty in the liver and slightly weak in the kidney aka 肝火肾虚. The chinese medicine was meant to address this issue to bring back the body back to health.

 

Acupuncture was done on the stomach and on the legs, to promote blood circulation to the intended areas. Don't worry, no needles on the privates.

 

Did see some improvements, erection got harder and I experienced morning wood more frequently too. May not have been an everyday thing but it is definitely an improvement from before.

 

Slightly pricey though... $420 for a month's of treatment. My medication was twice daily for the first 2 weeks and became once daily during the last 2 weeks. After that, the doctor told me I can stop for the time being and monitor the situation. Until now, it has been almost 2 months since I stopped treatment, all has still been good. :)

 

Edited by Guest
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16 minutes ago, ahboi89 said:

i went to Eu Yan Sang to seek TCM treatment a few months back also for a month of treatment.

 

Told the doctor that i feel my ejaculate was too watery and my erection was not hard and I have not been experiencing morning wood for like almost a year already (prior to going to the TCM in end May)

 

Was told that I was abit heaty in the liver and slightly weak in the kidney aka 肝火肾虚. The chinese medicine was meant to address this issue to bring back the body back to health.

 

Acupuncture was done on the stomach and on the legs, to promote blood circulation to the intended areas. Don't worry, no needles on the privates.

 

Did see some improvements, erection got harder and I experienced morning wood more frequently too. May not have been an everyday thing but it is definitely an improvement from before.

 

Slightly pricey though... $420 for a month's of treatment. My medication was twice daily for the first 2 weeks and became once daily during the last 2 weeks. After that, the doctor told me I can stop for the time being and monitor the situation. Until now, it has been almost 2 months since I stopped treatment, all has still been good. :)

 

Thx for sharing. I went to Thong Chai Medical Institution at Chin Swee Road this morning at 8am(coz its free)& asked for a male Doctor. He gave me 4 needles:

 

2 at my hands & 2 at my shoulder bone. Any pain? Minimal but had to sit there for more than 10 minutes =(

        

 

Tbh,

I am not expecting any miracle to happen after one Acupuncture Treatment. Intend to see results after 3 visits. 

                      

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On 8/11/2020 at 7:55 PM, Shay said:

Bro there’s a doctor here that do penile rejuvenation 

why don’t you pay him a visit 

TCM sounds expensive: This 10-session Fertility Planning TCM Programme is priced at $1300.

      

pls read, it says Fertility, can also refer to male fertility issues, not just for Women.

      

https://www.pulsetcm.sg/tcm-programmes/fertility-planning/

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 8/11/2020 at 7:55 PM, Shay said:

Bro there’s a doctor here that do penile rejuvenation 

why don’t you pay him a visit 

Thanks for the shout out!

 

Yes i suggest best to see a medical professional before you can come to a diagnosis or conclusion.

Can see me in the clinic. If you contact early may even see you on the same day.

 

email: dr.taufiq@pulse-clinic.com

 

Line ID: genethica

Edited by Dr T
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ALWAYS take the official medical route FIRST before you start to head over to skeptical places, TCM and all to those untested or vaguely proven holistic places or people. If your penis is so important to you, last thing you want is for someone who misdiagnose this and you can not get compensation when something goes wrong and you lose your penis and it function for sex COMPLETELY.

 

NOT a time to be shy or whatever folks. So many other reasons why you are experiencing it NOT just STRESS or OLD AGE and all that.

Edited by upshot

** Comments are my opinions, same as yours. It's not a 'Be-All-and-End-All' view. Intent's to thought-provoke, validate, reiterate and yes, even correct. Opinion to consider but agree to disagree. I don't enjoy conflicted exchanges, empty bravado or egoistical chest pounding. It's never personal, tribalistic or with malice. Frank by nature, means, I never bend the truth. Views are to broaden understanding - Updated: Nov 2021.

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On 8/8/2020 at 9:41 AM, anon6789 said:

hi, i'm a reasonably healthy/fit guy in my late twenties - gym and run pretty often, am lean and generally have a clean bill of health.

 

when i meet up with guys or even when i did massage with 'happy ending', i realise that while i can have an erection due to initial arousal/excitement, i tend to lose the erection (become flaccid) shortly after, even if i am aroused/being stimulated by the other person. i have no issues sustaining an erection for long periods of time if i am by myself, e.g., when i'm at home and masturbate myself, looking at stuff that turns me on (e.g., hot shirtless guys in speedos/underwear, not naked though). 

 

one thing that seems to help is if i see myself in the mirror / see what the other person is doing to me in the mirror. then if i stroke myself, i can regain the erection shortly after. but still embarrassing to not be able to sustain the erection 'naturally'. 

 

i suspect it may be linked to stress/anxiety, and/or being self conscious about my (naked) body or how i look naked, or maybe just stressing myself about whether i can stay erect, etc. i am generally quite a stress/anxious person but for now not too bad that i can't cope with it in my daily life. 

 

any advice or how to seek help please? thank you very much!! 

 

 

From what you describe, it seems that your physical body works as intended.  You didn't write it, but if you can stay erected masturbating you also ejaculate well.

As others have suggested, your problem may be mental.  

You may want to avoid medical consultations, alternative medicine, psychological treatments,

but be patient and see if your situation improves by itself.

As @singalion suggested, maybe a sex partner who is patient and understanding could help you the best.

In this case, you may choose a guy who is very attracted to you but you not so much to him,  so that you don't feel the pressure to satisfy him but you can let him try to satisfy you by hand or mouth, and come closer to the scenario where you masturbate yourself.

 

Good luck.  Don't rush it, since you have many more decades to enjoy sex if you solve your problem cautiously.

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  • 5 weeks later...
On 8/18/2020 at 10:17 AM, ahboi89 said:

i went to Eu Yan Sang to seek TCM treatment a few months back also for a month of treatment.

 

Told the doctor that i feel my ejaculate was too watery and my erection was not hard and I have not been experiencing morning wood for like almost a year already (prior to going to the TCM in end May)

 

Was told that I was abit heaty in the liver and slightly weak in the kidney aka 肝火肾虚. The chinese medicine was meant to address this issue to bring back the body back to health.

 

Acupuncture was done on the stomach and on the legs, to promote blood circulation to the intended areas. Don't worry, no needles on the privates.

 

Did see some improvements, erection got harder and I experienced morning wood more frequently too. May not have been an everyday thing but it is definitely an improvement from before.

 

Slightly pricey though... $420 for a month's of treatment. My medication was twice daily for the first 2 weeks and became once daily during the last 2 weeks. After that, the doctor told me I can stop for the time being and monitor the situation. Until now, it has been almost 2 months since I stopped treatment, all has still been good. :)

 

Actually traditional remedy is the best compared to modern remedy full of chemical where else traditional ones more natural organic. As for me every week i get traditonal full body massage and manhood massage. The guy makes me drink a herbal drink that he brew after the session full wht and dont to eat plus daily massage and pump i can see the size strength has so much different than before. I not easy ejaculate but my pre cum ozes like air con drip.

 

Edited by fetish69
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34 minutes ago, fetish69 said:

Actually traditional remedy is the best compared to modern remedy full of chemical where else traditional ones more natural organic. As for me every week i get traditonal full body massage and manhood massage.

 ooh do you mind sharing where is this place you go for the traditional full body & manhood massage?

 

35 minutes ago, fetish69 said:

The guy makes me drink a herbal drink that he brew after the session full wht and dont to eat plus daily massage and pump i can see the size strength has so much different than before.

haha what is full wht and dont?

 

35 minutes ago, fetish69 said:

I not easy ejaculate but my pre cum ozes like air con drip.

this is something that I am definitely envious about...

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The TS seems to have quite a number of problems. On September 16 he started another thread "Questioning My Sexuality" which drew a lot of replies. In that thread readers were informed he had been in a relationship with a girl with whom he had not been physically intimate (other than light touching) and that he was socially cautious. He then added - 

 

Quote

 

Since puberty (teenage years), I mostly looked at pictures of shirtless guys online to masturbate - and sometimes also very specific fetishes like bdsm, wrestling, speedos, etc. (quite often, these fetishes involve fantasising about me being in pain/humiliation-type scenarios) But i've never been attracted (IRL and even just online pics) to:

  • male genitalia (would strongly prefer the subject to be at least in their underwear)
  • anal sex
  • oral sex 
  • and even me masturbating/touching someone else's penis.

Even when I masturbate, I don't quite "fantasise" about sex with the men I find attractive - often I fantasise about how great it would be if I was as good-looking/attractive as them. 

 

 

Since he is not attracted to the male penis and most male to male sexual activity, why does he talk at the start of this thread about "meeting up with guys", being aroused but then losing his erection?

 

Then on September 18 he noted

 

Quote

i've been having some doubts on whether i really fall under asexuality though, because i sort of accidentally chanced upon some nsfw lite gay porn content on youtube (no nudity), and there were like pretty hot dudes shirtless and leading up to kissing, etc. and i did feel some arousal and i checked my thoughts, i think i was thinking like wow this dude is hot, if i really had the opportunity i would like to be intimate with him, i.e., kiss/touch his body etc. but not so sure about letting him penetrate me or sucking his dick or what lol. like i said, maybe cos he is hot, i would consider it and in the heat of the moment... but i might still lie somewhere on the asexuality spectrum though, idk

 

Since the two threads bring up the same points, I wonder why there was a need for the September 16 thread?

 

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5 hours ago, InBangkok said:

The TS seems to have quite a number of problems. On September 16 he started another thread "Questioning My Sexuality" which drew a lot of replies. In that thread readers were informed he had been in a relationship with a girl with whom he had not been physically intimate (other than light touching) and that he was socially cautious. He then added - 

 

 

Since he is not attracted to the male penis and most male to male sexual activity, why does he talk at the start of this thread about "meeting up with guys", being aroused but then losing his erection?

 

Then on September 18 he noted

 

 

Since the two threads bring up the same points, I wonder why there was a need for the September 16 thread?

 

 

to clarify, yes - it is correct that i am not generally aroused by the male penis or anal/oral sex generally. i believe i mentioned this in my "questioning sexuality" thread. what i said in that thread about being in a relationship with a girl is also true. and yes, i have met up with guys in the past (prior to my relationship with my ex gf) but mostly for fetish related kinks like bdsm or wrestling, which turn me on much much more than just "sex" which is kinda meh to me. and yes, most of the time i am aroused by the fetish but by the time it gets to actually doing more 'plain sexual' stuff like masturbation, i tend to not be able to keep my erection. hence i started this thread at the beginning where i was wondering if that was something wrong with me and what i can do to help myself...

 

i started the other thread because i was (am still) questioning my sexuality and what i should do in the future.

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Given all the replies you have received to both threads, I think you now must have some ideas about how you might solve the issues of your sexuality and erectile dysfunction, although none will be especially easy I think. If not, then surely it is time you get professional advice from a psychiatrist or some other form of professional councillor.

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On 9/28/2020 at 1:11 PM, ahboi89 said:

 ooh do you mind sharing where is this place you go for the traditional full body & manhood massage?

 

haha what is full wht and dont?

 

this is something that I am definitely envious about...

Full session

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  • 1 month later...

Have this problem because masterbate too much. And that will hurt the kidneys where is cause the less of the yin , more of the yang energy. Causing erectile dysfunction  because the yin and yang imbalances causing kidneys to hurt. Now on accupunture and decided to stop masterbation. And don't  self medicate. It will only makes matter worse. Go see chinese sinseh. With accupunture and medicine. Your little brother stand every morning. Within a month, I fathered a son with my wife.

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Went to Natural healing for tcm went there for accupunture of the kidney,  tcm doctor said too much  湿火   in kidney,did accupunture and herbal medicine after 1 treatment can see results. And pls remember dont masterbate too much you are hurting the kidneys cause kidney 

 

1. LOOK AFTER YOUR KIDNEYS – Your reproductive health is primarily influenced by the health of your Kidneys, according to Chinese medicine. The Kidneys store essential energy which feeds the reproductive organs and maintains their health.

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  • 5 months later...

This can be caused by a lot of stress that persists in your life. Anxiety also is a good reason for your erectile dysfunction. But, from my experience, I can say that an unhealthy lifestyle also can be an important cause. It's important to get rid of smoking in time. For me, it was the biggest reason for my erectile dysfunction. Anyway, I get rid of it with Shockwave Therapy for ED. This device helped me to stronger my little friend. He is like a rock now. Due to his waves, it's opening the blood vessels.

Edited by Blancober
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