Local Homosexual Says That Local Men Only Go For Muscle & Looks

[GachiMuchi]

Local Homosexual Says That Local Men Only Go For Muscle & Looks

By Raging Siam Kia - October 5, 2020

 

A local homosexual man has given his feedback on how he felt homosexual men in Singapore are when it comes to hooking up or going into a relationship. He stated that they are extremely superficial and only go for muscles and looks.

Here is the full story.

I’m a year 3 guy in a biz degree. So I’ve been single all my life because I’ve struggled with my sexuality since primary school, where I realised I wasn’t interested in the typical porn links that my friends were secretly passing around.Ever since entering uni, I’ve come to grasp that I am indisputably gay, and upon embracing my sexuality decided that I am ready to find a lifelong partner.

Since getting to know a few people from LGBT groups such as NTU kaleidoscope, I’ve come to learn a very unfortunate truth.The gay community (culture?) in Singapore is largely hookup-centric and extremely superficial. Most gay men I’ve spoken to have stated that body and looks are the #1 factor in finding a partner, and they’re also more interested in getting to know someone by banging them multiple nights in a row than spending the first few dates doing “straight” dating stuff like going to cafes or movies.

Most gay men have also stated clear preferences for muscular bodies, big biceps, solid chests etc. Bonus for facial hair. All the openly gay couples I see in school or on the streets are… Really good looking. Both of them are often handsome and have either buff or beautifully lithe figures.

I am unfortunately a slightly plump and short guy, and I swim regularly but I can’t find enough time to develop the kind of body that the typical gay man is attracted to. And yeah, I can’t grow facial hair.

 

Also I seem to be the odd duck that prefers to develop relationships like my straight friends have. Studying together, maybe chilling a bit, weekend dates and then if everything’s great, ask to stead. Only then am I willing to engage in sex.It’s been 3 years and I’ve been on gay dating apps, speed dating events, met up with about 20 potential dates who were pleasant enough over text… And nothing. Half lost interest when they see me irl, and the other half when I expressed that I was not dtf.

I’ve debated posting this for a long time because I do not want to cast the gay community in a negative light, especially since we are an oppressed minority in many ways. But I need a wake up call, someone to confirm that the gay dating scene IS like that and I just have to brave through my discomfort and stop rejecting outright sexual advances if I want to develop a relationship.

Or is there maybe a less hookup-centric app? Like paktor/CMB but for gays? If you’ve read till here, thank you for doing so. I am very sorry if this is portrays gay men in Singapore badly, it is really not my intention. I hope I’ve been only unlucky so far.

 

Edited October 5, 2020 by GachiMuchi

[Steve5380]

We gays are aware of all the problems with gay dating.  Straights are aware of all the problems with straight dating.

 

Since he is still in college, he should be a guy young enough to understand that sex is an important part of establishing a relationship, and sex from the start is not an evil attitude. Hopefully he also enjoys sex, and while taking precaution against STDs he should enjoy it,  even if it is not with his ideal prince.

 

He likes to swim, so he may spend some time doing it.  We are terrestrial creatures, and our best exercising is done on terra firma.  In his 20s he can already train with weights, and do it perfectly well at home.  In this way he may be able to change from "slightly plumb" to a firm body, which at his age can be still slimmed down with proper nutrition.  Facial hair IS NOT a necessary attribute in an attractive gay man.

 

Hopefully he gets down from his comforting defeatist attitude and develops some optimistic thinking with positive goals.   He is too young to claim defeat.

[feedersmiracle]

1. He keeps tying the situation back to being straight or being gay like there is a huge divide. Relationships are relationships, he just haven’t found the right one.

 

2. Someone could tell him that he will be better off holding on to his beliefs and being steadfast to them instead of doing a back and forth with what he believes in vs what other people believes in.

 

3. Tinder and Surge is prolly better than Gindr I guess, and maybe he just needs to find himself and love himself just a little bit more.

Edited October 5, 2020 by feedersmiracle

[Guest Guest]

Going for muscles and looks dun just exist in the local gay community, its the same all over the world.

[Guest Guest]

It’s been 3 years and I’ve been on gay dating apps, speed dating events, met up with about 20 potential dates who were pleasant enough over text…

 

There are speed dating events organised for PLUs in Singapore? I thought only for straight couples ... boyfriend-girlfriend type ...

[Fountain82]

7 hours ago, GachiMuchi said:

Local Homosexual Says That Local Men Only Go For Muscle & Looks

By Raging Siam Kia - October 5, 2020

 

A local homosexual man has given his feedback on how he felt homosexual men in Singapore are when it comes to hooking up or going into a relationship. He stated that they are extremely superficial and only go for muscles and looks.

Here is the full story.

I’m a year 3 guy in a biz degree. So I’ve been single all my life because I’ve struggled with my sexuality since primary school, where I realised I wasn’t interested in the typical porn links that my friends were secretly passing around.Ever since entering uni, I’ve come to grasp that I am indisputably gay, and upon embracing my sexuality decided that I am ready to find a lifelong partner.

Since getting to know a few people from LGBT groups such as NTU kaleidoscope, I’ve come to learn a very unfortunate truth.The gay community (culture?) in Singapore is largely hookup-centric and extremely superficial. Most gay men I’ve spoken to have stated that body and looks are the #1 factor in finding a partner, and they’re also more interested in getting to know someone by banging them multiple nights in a row than spending the first few dates doing “straight” dating stuff like going to cafes or movies.

Most gay men have also stated clear preferences for muscular bodies, big biceps, solid chests etc. Bonus for facial hair. All the openly gay couples I see in school or on the streets are… Really good looking. Both of them are often handsome and have either buff or beautifully lithe figures.

I am unfortunately a slightly plump and short guy, and I swim regularly but I can’t find enough time to develop the kind of body that the typical gay man is attracted to. And yeah, I can’t grow facial hair.

 

Also I seem to be the odd duck that prefers to develop relationships like my straight friends have. Studying together, maybe chilling a bit, weekend dates and then if everything’s great, ask to stead. Only then am I willing to engage in sex.It’s been 3 years and I’ve been on gay dating apps, speed dating events, met up with about 20 potential dates who were pleasant enough over text… And nothing. Half lost interest when they see me irl, and the other half when I expressed that I was not dtf.

I’ve debated posting this for a long time because I do not want to cast the gay community in a negative light, especially since we are an oppressed minority in many ways. But I need a wake up call, someone to confirm that the gay dating scene IS like that and I just have to brave through my discomfort and stop rejecting outright sexual advances if I want to develop a relationship.

Or is there maybe a less hookup-centric app? Like paktor/CMB but for gays? If you’ve read till here, thank you for doing so. I am very sorry if this is portrays gay men in Singapore badly, it is really not my intention. I hope I’ve been only unlucky so far.

 

 I have been through this stage before and it was depressing. Being a chubby guy usually meant less sought after within the typical gay scene. 

 

Surprisingly, blowing wind was the one that opened me up to lots more possibilities... From there, i knew that i belonged to non-mainstream group of Bears and Chubs...

Being a chub, i felt more appreciated by daddies and mature guys...

 

Now, im in a stable relationship for more than 8 years with an older guy 20 years my senior. He's my first and only...and we still make occasional teases and meet up every alternate day (both of us stayed with our parents) .. We feel loved for each other and we hope to be together for many years to come... 

 

What i want to say is, if you do not mind looking for alternatives, do feel free to explore and find what suits you via trial and error (not saying that you have to be promiscuous) ...

 

Just a comment here. I personally think that Singaporeans are generally picky and narrow-minded with regards to pick who they want to interact with... 

 

Dont flame me... I think Japanese, Taiwanese and Thais are more accepting and appreciate chubby people... Sometimes, its a bit sad to know that a vast majority of my good friends are from these countries...all ages, be it younger or older... 

Edited October 6, 2020 by Fountain82

[Kimochi]

1 hour ago, Guest Guest said:

Going for muscles and looks dun just exist in the local gay community, its the same all over the world.

Yes. Irregardless of sex. Guess its father natures way of making humans continue existing. 

[Guest btm]

33 minutes ago, Fountain82 said:

 

 

Dont flame me... I think Japanese, Taiwanese and Thais are more accepting and appreciate chubby people... Sometimes, its a bit sad to know that a vast majority of my good friends are from these countries...all ages, be it younger or older... 

True, but only if you're the right kind of chubby though. They can be very type-centric, which is still very looks oriented.

[FattChoy]

https://addicted.es/en/

Sometimes there is no need to debate.  20 potential guys dropped him after meeting irl?  If we take his word for it that it's cos of looks and muscles, then what are we left to conclude?  First thought comes to my mind is "the extreme left end of the bell curve".  Perhaps he should try dating girls and see if 20 girls drop him too.

Edited October 6, 2020 by FattChoy

[mate69]

nothing surprising

so many of these widely-held perceptions

[Fountain82]

42 minutes ago, Guest btm said:

True, but only if you're the right kind of chubby though. They can be very type-centric, which is still very looks oriented.

Im just an ordinary guy on the street without good looks. Perhaps im lucky to be accepted in their friendzone... 

[wilfgene]

4 hours ago, Kimochi said:

Yes. Irregardless of sex. Guess its father natures way of making humans continue existing. 

Thanks for the sympathy.

[Guest Normal?]

I am different.  I go for the heart. The inner beauty.  Am I normal in the gay circle?

[begleitung]

1 hour ago, Guest Normal? said:

I am different.  I go for the heart. The inner beauty.  Am I normal in the gay circle?

Even if he is fat and ugly?

[Guest Hard Truth]

49 minutes ago, Guest Normal? said:

I am different.  I go for the heart. The inner beauty.  Am I normal in the gay circle?

 

Only ugly gays say this kind of stuff cos it's not like they have much options lmao.

 

There is no co-relation between being hot and being nice.

 

Being hot doesn't mean no inner beauty.

Likewise, being ugly outside doesn't mean have inner beauty. In fact, most of the bitchiest gays I know are ugly af.

[Guest Guest]

5 hours ago, FattChoy said:

https://addicted.es/en/

Sometimes there is no need to debate.  20 potential guys dropped him after meeting irl?  If we take his word for it that it's cos of looks and muscles, then what are we left to conclude?  First thought comes to my mind is "the extreme left end of the bell curve".  Perhaps he should try dating girls and see if 20 girls drop him too.

 

Harsh but true about the bell curve. Given that 20 potential guys had gone out with him and yet still dropped after, maybe TS needs to change something. An unpopular comment: if these 20 guys are willing to go out and meet, i will assume that these people are those that are generally not the HOTTTT kind already? If they cant see his inner beauty as well then maybe we ought to look inwards and see what is it that people are not attracted about and work towards changing that. It's a tough life and a tough society and the competition is stiff. If you cant work for a better bod you should at least work for a better attitude i would say ?

 

regardless, best of luck.

[happiness]

I think what's important is not to lose sight of what you really want in a relationship. If someone only goes for muscle and looks, then there is no point in having a relationship with him, even when you have the muscle and looks. Such a superficial person isn't worth it. You deserve better.

 

Instead of focusing on how superficial other people are, you can focus on what you can do yourself. Hang out with the people you prefer, and stay away from those you don't. Then automatically the right person for you will be attracted into your life.

 

But if you focus on how superficial other people are, telling yourself you have to force yourself to meet up to their expectations and demands, forcing yourself to be more muscular and better looking just to satisfy other people, then you would become superficial yourself too, and you would inevitably attract more such superficial people into your life.

 

You may exercise and live a healthy lifestyle, but it shouldn't be driven by the need to satisfy the superficiality of other people.

 

Don't let other people dictate how to live your life. It's not worth it.

 

If you are really comfortable with who you really are and who you would like to be, then the behaviour and judgment of other people won't affect you at all anymore. That is true self confidence. True confidence comes from within, not from how muscular or how good looking you are.

 

About the OP's comment on the local scene, I agree that many locals are superficial and soulless, chasing after things that are truly not important in life, worrying, complaining and getting easily upset over frivolous things, and doing so thinking that it is the morally right way to live in order to display their sense of intelligence, God-given entitlement, and classiness or atas-ness. But all these attitudes are really superficial. They can only leave you deeply unfulfilled in life in the end.

Edited October 6, 2020 by happiness

[VitaminA]

haha.. think the poll is kinda flaw. Most would likely choose the convenient answer -> Whole package

[GachiMuchi]

3 hours ago, VitaminA said:

haha.. think the poll is kinda flaw. Most would likely choose the convenient answer -> Whole package

 

Not true, some still choose *something* Only.

The polls results can be seen after you submit your result.

 

[doncoin]

I think there is a fatalistic outlook among many gay men when it comes to relationships, particularly in Singapore where "traditional family values" reign supreme. Given the lack of official recognition and support from the government as well as the community, the thought for gay men to settle down and start a family etc. has never really been encouraged nor promoted. Instead, the concept of promiscuity and the high life is espoused. 

 

So it is unsurprising that many gay men opted for that lifestyle versus seriously thinking of building a relationship etc. I am not saying that they don't exist, even those that do, the challenges they face are more than a regular heterosexual couple. Gay people in Singapore are not conditioned to think in those terms. This is not mention the struggles some have to deal with with their sexuality, coming out, etc. But for those who managed to sort some of these out, there is the opportunity to fall in love, and fight for your relationship. 

[mate69]

Not in Sg bah I suppose

[lonely57]

i suppose its true. when i open grindr i only see muscular or lean body pics. those that dont have it dont put a photo at all or put some random photo of a flower or a building. its true and everyone knows it, sadly. 

[leantonedboy]

Hehe guess I am guilty too of looking at the person’s outlook first when it comes to liking a person. 
However with that said, you just have to be street smart about it I guess. Dun try to hard to force yourself to look like one of those ‘high-profile’ gay guys. Let me tell you getting a nice body is really genetic. If you are lucky to be born with it, then of course flaunt it. But if not, just stick to being who you are and confidence is more sexy 😉 

Me and my ‘date’ do get a lot of stares when we are out in the public (from other gay guys), not sure why because we are both not really that muscular looking either. I think the word is ‘aura’ 🤗 cheers! 

[FattChoy]

On 10/6/2020 at 11:14 PM, leantonedboy said:

Hehe guess I am guilty too of looking at the person’s outlook first when it comes to liking a person. 
However with that said, you just have to be street smart about it I guess. Dun try to hard to force yourself to look like one of those ‘high-profile’ gay guys. Let me tell you getting a nice body is really genetic. If you are lucky to be born with it, then of course flaunt it. But if not, just stick to being who you are and confidence is more sexy 😉 

Me and my ‘date’ do get a lot of stares when we are out in the public (from other gay guys), not sure why because we are both not really that muscular looking either. I think the word is ‘aura’ 🤗 cheers! 

No need to feel guilty. We're born with eyes, so use them.

[auscent]

I suppose if u look into platforms like some dating apps, it is true that hot bods get votes. 

But I think chemistry is still the more important ingredient.

[FattChoy]

13 hours ago, auscent said:

I suppose if u look into platforms like some dating apps, it is true that hot bods get votes. 

But I think chemistry is still the more important ingredient.

Dating apps have votes?

[versatilehairyman]

it's not easy being gay. I guess unlike women, we know what we want and stick with it

[repressednerd]

Year 3 in biz degree? Seems like a pretty young guy who has years to try out experiences. 

[Guest Guest]

When we walk into a retail shop, don’t we go for something we like?

 

Of course there will be people who will ultimately choose to buy something say better durability vs those eye-pleasing ones.
 

Relate this to the topic and you will understand the rationale. By and large, we are spurred by whats visually attractive to us. 
 

[Fitfuccboi]

This inclination for good looks. It’s not a gay thing. It’s a human thing.

 

I won’t be surprised if the OP himself only chose to date the ones he felt were good looking to begin with. 
 

If the OP weren’t that superficial, I’m sure he would have no problems securing a relationship with someone else that he is not attracted to.

 

My take is, that the ppl who post this kind of thing usually are the ones who try to hunt based on looks to begin with.

[GachiMuchi]

同志交友也有困境：未滿30最搶手，年過40慢走不送

2020/10/21,

我們想讓你知道的是

假設你現在正在使用交友軟體，在只能看見年齡的狀況下，你會想跟幾歲的人認識？根據HEDER提供的資料顯示，最多人的理想對象年齡為26-30歲。

 

 

假設你現在正在使用同志交友APP，請試想看看，如果在只能看見年齡的狀況下，你會想跟幾歲的人認識？你會在什麼情況下，選擇性坦白或甚至是隱藏你的年齡？為何在交友軟體 上，比較少看見40以上的男同志呢？

針對以上問題，你的回答會是什麼？

根據HEDER累積超過一萬多筆的資料顯示，在想要發展穩定交往關係的男同志中， 對於交往對象的可接受年齡條件描述，最多人的理想對象年齡為26-30歲，接受度高達63.65%；次高為31-35歲，接受度為57.50%。

如果已經超過35歲，在36-40歲區間的接受度降到34.73%；41-45歲的接受度則只剩17.10%。

Photo Credit：HEDER

年齡真的不是問題嗎？性別氣質會影響男同志交友嗎？

「年齡不是問題」在男男交友市場大多只是淪於口號。在社群媒體上，雖然看似大家只追求政治正確，但真正面臨交友選擇時卻不是如此。另外提個有趣的觀察，男同志們在年齡上對於社交保鮮期的定義，反而更像是異女在適婚年齡所面臨到的社會壓力。

另外，男同志在長大的過程中總是面對「我不夠像個男人」的評價，也承襲異性對性別氣質的框架而放大「女性氣質的不好、男性氣質的好」。同時也因為媒體異性戀男女典範的緣故，「我喜歡男生，但喜歡男生的是女生，所以會把自己當作電視劇女主角來看劇」，形塑了對女性氣質的投射，甚至也潛移默化到對男男交往的年齡認知。

年近40歲的同志，還有交往機會嗎？

想要穩定交往，對年近40歲的男同志來說真的就無望了嗎？其實不然，主要是因為單身的20、30歲人口還是佔市場多數，加上年近40歲的男同志大多已經脫單，或是已經放棄對交友的期待，而形成一個負向的迴圈循環。

Photo Credit：HEDER

在HEDER過去的戀愛訪談中，發現有許多男同志年輕時的社會氛圍沒有那麼開放，又因為考量工作、家庭等因素無法出櫃，需要等事業發展到一定程度後才開始考慮補修戀愛學分；也有些人曾沉浸在穩定交往的關係中，但結束了一段長久關係、恢復單身時已經接近40歲。

 

Photo Credit：HEDER

不要再懊悔過去，而是如何著眼現在

單身的原因有很多，有些是因為工作忙碌沒時間，有些是過去曾有好對象但已錯過⋯⋯但不管是什麼原因，重點是要放下過去，思考如何改變現狀。

「我認識人的管道有什麼？」

「我花費多少時間在這個管道？」

「我多久與一個人見面一次？」

「我在認識人的心態是否開放？」

「我是否有先入為主的觀念？」

「我是否都是倚靠感覺來行事？」

「我在交友條件設定上是否切實際？」

「我是否一廂情願設下了過高或過低的門檻？」

認真盤點現在自己手中的社交籌是什麼，才會知道未來如何努力。

永遠要看見關係發展的可能性，才有機會看見愛情

身處在同溫層當中的同志們比較容易可以認識各式各樣的男同志，大家但如果是在異性戀的感情生活圈中就較少可以有交友的機會，一般在出社會後除非有活躍社交 ，不然大多只能認識自己工作領域，或是經同事、朋友介紹對象，所以更應該要珍惜每次可以遇到另一半的機會。

想要找到適合的對象其實不簡單，因此在交友過程中與其放大檢視對方的哪個條件不喜歡，不如反向思考，多去看看對方的優點，就可以有多一點的交往機會。

如果戀愛過程中總是遇到很多煩惱，不妨來HEDER由貼心專業的愛情顧問幫助你解決戀愛的大小事。

本文章內容由「HEDER 」營運總監 Henry 提供，經關鍵評論網媒體集團廣編企劃編審。

 

[wilfgene]

A strong combination of aspirations and fantasies around 25?  Still no focussing on sex or relationship.

[Guest Hi I'm Bi]

The media likes to perpetuate the public with gorgeous guys getting off with other gorgeous guys. 

 

No wonder, reality is disappointing. We must learn to differentiate between fantasy and reality. 

[mate69]

Yes big cock too

[lonelyglobe]

On 10/6/2020 at 8:26 AM, Guest Guest said:

Going for muscles and looks dun just exist in the local gay community, its the same all over the world.

Agreed....from the survey it shows that about 70% stress on the importance of the "outside" and only 30% would focus on personality and companionship.

[yuquidam]

The question is: If I am not a good looker, am I prepared to get hitched with a partner who is older, or out-of-shape, or not good looking.

 

Average lookers think could still hitch up for LTR if one is willing to lower one's expectations in the looks compartment? If you're not willing, like me, then there's little to lament about really. Perhaps get to now more good friends (gay or otherwise) and do ocassional SAFE ons (if acceptable) so you could be happier? Think that's a reality not only for the LGBT but applies to some extent to the straight community too?

Edited October 24, 2020 by yuquidam

[Guest Try and see]

I don't know whether it's a gay thing or a guy thing, because straight guys are like that towards women also, i.e. they like younger girls with big boobs, nice legs, sexy face, etc.

 

Girls who are short, overweight, flat-chested, plain, have bad complexion, or are above 40, usually get passed over by straight guys when it comes to the dating scene.

 

Men are known to emphasise more on the looks of their romantic partners. It's just that with gay guys, the object of their affection is different, but their criteria is still the same.

[yuquidam]

1 hour ago, Guest Try and see said:

I don't know whether it's a gay thing or a guy thing, because straight guys are like that towards women also, i.e. they like younger girls with big boobs, nice legs, sexy face, etc.

 

Girls who are short, overweight, flat-chested, plain, have bad complexion, or are above 40, usually get passed over by straight guys when it comes to the dating scene.

 

Men are known to emphasise more on the looks of their romantic partners. It's just that with gay guys, the object of their affection is different, but their criteria is still the same.

Very well said. Guys are guys be it gay or straight. Physical attraction is somehow the prerequisite for a date or for fun.

[Guest Santai]

2 hours ago, Guest Try and see said:

I don't know whether it's a gay thing or a guy thing, because straight guys are like that towards women also, i.e. they like younger girls with big boobs, nice legs, sexy face, etc.

 

Girls who are short, overweight, flat-chested, plain, have bad complexion, or are above 40, usually get passed over by straight guys when it comes to the dating scene.

 

Men are known to emphasise more on the looks of their romantic partners. It's just that with gay guys, the object of their affection is different, but their criteria is still the same.

 

There must be an exception though. I saw on a documentary about birds, there is a funny species of bird that a male has to perform dances to impress the female bird not the other way around. So surely some humans also can be like that?

[yuquidam]

Yes, you're spot on there. There are indeed exceptions. If we look at wedding couples we do see instances where the groom is attractive but the bride is not, or vice versa. Thus the saying "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder". And we do see gay couples who are the exceptions too.

 

Saw that documentary. That colourful male bird dancing diligently with fanned out tail was hilariously adorable..lol

Edited October 25, 2020 by yuquidam

[begleitung]

Not unusual

[mate69]

ya all men....what's so surprising?

lol

[FattChoy]

On 10/6/2020 at 2:34 AM, GachiMuchi said:

Local Homosexual Says That Local Men Only Go For Muscle & Looks

By Raging Siam Kia - October 5, 2020

 

....

 

I am unfortunately a slightly plump and short guy, and I swim regularly but I can’t find enough time to develop the kind of body that the typical gay man is attracted to. And yeah, I can’t grow facial hair.

It's the typical, "Other guys reject me cos I don't have X & Y.  Therefore other guys are looking for X and Y."

 

I remember on another thread where a local gay activist in his now deleted blog, went further to suggest that because gays go for 'X and Y', perhaps the whole gay community have some systematic unhealthy mental craving for men with X & Y.  So much so that it's driving a lot of gays to be obsessed with getting the X & Ys. 

 

What's wrong with these people?  Don't they understand individual responsibility, rather than blame it on the social media and peer pressure? 

 

If you're slightly plump and short and you can't find enough time to develop your body, then whose fault is it?  Btw, I find plump and short guys attractive too, but this type of loser mentality is a major turn off and definitely a deal breaker.  

Edited January 7, 2021 by FattChoy

[Guest]

On 10/22/2020 at 10:44 AM, Fitfuccboi said:

This inclination for good looks. It’s not a gay thing. It’s a human thing.

 

I won’t be surprised if the OP himself only chose to date the ones he felt were good looking to begin with. 
 

If the OP weren’t that superficial, I’m sure he would have no problems securing a relationship with someone else that he is not attracted to.

 

My take is, that the ppl who post this kind of thing usually are the ones who try to hunt based on looks to begin with.

There are many schools of thought when it comes to this issue. 
 

First, fitfuccboi hit the nail on its head by saying that the OP is also responsible for perpetuating this perception. I totally agreeing with him. Let’s face it. All of us seek equal or better in our partners, including the OP. And there is nothing wrong with that. If you earn $10k a month, why would you hang out with someone who earns $1k a month? Unless he or she has something you find desirable that you don’t have.

 

Second, it depends on the yard stick we use to assess potential partners. Some have narrow yardstick and some have broad yardstick. Some only look at physical appearance while others consider personality and others. Again it’s individual. There is a running joke that we use a rubric to assess potential partners.

 

There is also a school of thought that you become your best version first before you demand that of others. If you can be your best, then you will attract the right partner in your life. 
 

No matter what we think, there is no point in lamenting or whining about how others pick their partners. The question is how do you pick your partner?

[Guest]

On 1/7/2021 at 11:39 AM, FattChoy said:

It's the typical, "Other guys reject me cos I don't have X & Y.  Therefore other guys are looking for X and Y."

 

I remember on another thread where a local gay activist in his now deleted blog, went further to suggest that because gays go for 'X and Y', perhaps the whole gay community have some systematic unhealthy mental craving for men with X & Y.  So much so that it's driving a lot of gays to be obsessed with getting the X & Ys. 

 

What's wrong with these people?  Don't they understand individual responsibility, rather than blame it on the social media and peer pressure? 

 

If you're slightly plump and short and you can't find enough time to develop your body, then whose fault is it?  Btw, I find plump and short guys attractive too, but this type of loser mentality is a major turn off and definitely a deal breaker.  

totally agree.

 

Rejection is part and parcel of life. Millions and millions of sperm have to be rejected while only one can fertilise the egg. When are we going to learn that rejection takes place before success can happen?

Edited January 16, 2021 by Guest

[repressednerd]

I was seeing a YouTube video on one gay man who builds his body for himself, and his other gay friends are utterly flabbergasted because they kept holding on to the stereotype that all gay men build their bodies for other men. 

[Guest 犯贱冰冰]

Of course go for muscular and big cock. In the animal kingdom, it is the same!!!  Animals display their strength, colours, size to attract the other.  

[tyan]

Agree with the poll in some way. Afterall, this circle is very superficial. Only go after look and body. But having said. There are still people who are into others. 

[Guest mother nature]

The effect is real. Some men soften and become nicer to you after you expose your body more, like at swimming pool, onsen etc.

[Guest Heart bleed truth]

On 1/7/2021 at 11:39 AM, FattChoy said:

It's the typical, "Other guys reject me cos I don't have X & Y.  Therefore other guys are looking for X and Y."

 

I remember on another thread where a local gay activist in his now deleted blog, went further to suggest that because gays go for 'X and Y', perhaps the whole gay community have some systematic unhealthy mental craving for men with X & Y.  So much so that it's driving a lot of gays to be obsessed with getting the X & Ys. 

 

What's wrong with these people?  Don't they understand individual responsibility, rather than blame it on the social media and peer pressure? 

 

If you're slightly plump and short and you can't find enough time to develop your body, then whose fault is it?  Btw, I find plump and short guys attractive too, but this type of loser mentality is a major turn off and definitely a deal breaker.  

Roy Ngerng? 

He really think a lot and assume a lot until pissed off some people. 

 

Most gays are into the superficial that's why most are single. 

 

How many gays in this community are good looking, smooth skin, fit, big cock and rich?