Forbidden Attraction (re-organize)

[Larry]

是谁和谁的心 刻在树上的痕迹 Whose heart & another heart is carved on the tree 
是谁和谁的名 留在墙上未曾洗去 Whose name & another name is left on the wall & never washed away

 

Edited December 15, 2020 by Larry

[Larry]

A.  My First Love – Kong

Chapter 1: It must be A Mistake by God

 

At end of my first year, I had an interview with the liberal varsity Christian Students Fellowships on the condition that my identity was to be kept anonymous. It was reported subsequently on its monthly publication of campus profile & personality column. Following are extracted from the publication.

 

Q: You are an interesting person, with your long hair, fair complexion & demure personality; will you tell me what your sexual identification is? Are you a gay?

A: No, a definite no, I am not gay.

 

Q: So, what are you?

A: I am a cross dresser, a behaviour that deemed unacceptable in this conservative society. Except my childhood friend named Ling, for about 21 years of my life I keep this fetish a secret.

 

Q: Since when you found about this fetish?

A: Maybe around 15 in sec. 3. But I think the desire was there much earlier.

 

Q: Any related incident to tell?

A: Yes, I remember there was this day when 3 good looking young chaps walking passed when I water the plants at the front yard. My hands clung tightly on the fence while watching them intensely. I was mesmerized by their walks, talks & smiles, couple with the crystal clear ringing tones came from the anklets they worn, from that moment, I had dreamt that one day I would be as pretty, as elegant & as sweet as them.

 

Q: So instead of women, can I say you are craving for men?

A: No, not at all. Not even a single though throughout the young age.

 

Q: Why?

A: It is insane, it never occurs in my mind, as I like only the beautiful things. 

 

Q: But by chance I do notice that you were at Chatter Box with this guy behaving so intimately.

A: I am not trying to lie, yes, he is my boyfriend, but it started when I was doing my national service.

 

Q: A bold question here & you may choose not to answer, i.e. any sexual relationship in-between? 

A: Hmm… there is, but it is between a guy & a lady, not man to man. I played the female role all times. Small talks & patting are vital to get me mentally satisfied rather than the stuff, you know?

 

Q: Okay, beside the event of awakening by the 3 good looking chaps’ incident, I believe you just did not stop there, right?

A: Yes, I went into stealing.

 

Q: Stealing?

A: Yes, as student I did not have extra money, so I stole. Moreover, it was not convenience to buy even if I do have the money.

 

Q: Not convenience? 

A: Let me explain. My first stealing was being at a daily trip from school to home. On this humid sunny afternoon, I walked on this back lane hung with wet clothing on the bamboo poles. I glanced from far focusing on the usual location with rows of lady apparels. Walking sheepishly up, down & back, I grasped a pair of bra & panties & walked off quickly. I shielded the wet stuff in the school bag & walked home hurriedly, I were not sure my stealing was spotted by anyone but simply walked & walked with head down. Back to my room, I explored the wet stuff, I felt excited with heart pumping hard, feeling wonderful about it. Since then the stealing took place whenever opportunity occurred, but I make it a point never steal on the same location. All these were kept in a biscuit tin tightly closed & hide behind the bookshelf. This went on throughout my secondary & high school days.

 

Q: Gosh, it must be hard on you.

A: Yeah, I struggled with this all those early years, this life had been very tough, it was sinful, shameful & I had hated it. Imagine having to grow up under the fear of being caught by the public, the owners & or even found out by the family members for such sickening fetish. It had been at the very core of all my problems growing up right into adulthood.

 

Q: Didn’t you seek help from your parent? 

A: No never. I believe grandma & mom cannot understand.

 

Q: What about your dad? 

A: Well, we never in good talking term, as far as I am concerned, he is just a jerk.

 

Q: Thanks for telling me all these. Do you have anything to add before ending this discussion? 

A: Till my life end, it is a problem that can never go away. I will use a quote from Karl Augustus Menninger (an American psychiatrist) to describe the conflicting feeling.

 

“When a trout rising to a fly gets hooked on a line & find himself unable to swim freely, he begins with a fight which results in struggles & splashes & sometimes an escape. Often, Of course, the situation is too tough for him.

In the same way the human being struggles with his environment & with the hooks that catch him. Sometimes he masters his difficulties; sometimes they are too much for him. His struggles are all that the world sees & it naturally misunderstands them. It is hard for a free fish to understand what is happening to a hooked one.”

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

To be continued...

 

Edited June 14, 2021 by Larry

[Larry]

A.  My First Love – Kong

Chapter 1: It must be A Mistake by God

 

I kept stealing the lingerie from time to time, but somehow restricted not to steal from the neighbours' clothing-lines even there were opportunities. With the collection from this stolen stuff, the biscuit tin was purged due to limited space. Instead, I rented a locker meant for shoes & ball keeping in Jackie Bowls of East Coast Road; this went on for almost 2 years till moved to my army barracks.

 

I was lonely indeed, I did not feel I fit in my school days as I was small built, fair & soft spoken. Whenever I felt lonely & boring in the afternoon after school, I would cycle to Jackie, withdrew the stuff & tried them out in my room as my parent were still busy at the coffee powder shop. All those times I would stand in front of the mirror, prayed that God would give me two beautiful breasts, to fill up the cup of the bra. What a joy it would be to have two fleshy mounds on my chest, pushing out against my shirt. All I ever wanted was to top them with pretty clothes as my clothes were boring & tasteless. I wanted to do my hair, perm it & coloured it. I wanted to wear makeup, put on perfume & get my eyebrows trimmed.

 

In pre-university first year, I accidentally found this bust developing cream displayed at a beauty product shop in People Park Complex. I revisited the shop in one early morning before opened for business, pressing closely against the display panel, I read & scrutinized intensely on its label claiming that it would add inches to the bust line. I saved my daily allowance, bought it, removed the label & used it. It was kind of clear jelly stuff & smelled good; I used it religiously twice daily & left it on my study desk. I would say it was glue for school artwork if asked by grandma or mom but it did not happen. I did not go back for the second bottle though the cream did result pinkish & little puffiness on the nipples.

 

In sec. 2 that year, it was the very first time that I wore a bra hid under a baggy thick t-shirt out in the Parkway Parade Shopping Centre, It was an incredible feeling & I loved the feeling. I loved the gentle hug the bra gave me, I felt so sexy feeling the straps under the t-shirt, what I would have born to be this way all the time, like all females did…

 

Suddenly someone patted me from behind & felt the bra clasp against my back, I jumped with shock.

 

“Hey…., Ling, you….” I looked back & found my childhood friend cum classmate Ling from behind.

 

“Holly-shit… are you wearing that?” he whispered beside me.

 

I was scared to death & was reddened from head to toe, but anyhow from that day onwards, we had no more secret between us as we found to have same kind of feminine inclination. There were more sisterly jokes & fantasies to share, we would admire at pictures from those female magazines taken from his mother Auntie Lily’s salon, and I always wished I were one of the models in those pages.

 

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

To be continued...

 

Edited June 14, 2021 by Larry

[Larry]

A.  My First Love – Kong

Chapter 1: It must be A Mistake by God

 

I was unable to get these weird feelings out of my head & had always been driven by it, so much so that I started to challenge myself coming out to the public. 

 

During pre-u 1 year-end holiday, I was so gung-ho & had my very first makeover at Katong Shopping Centre. I walked from home carrying bags of female clothing, accessories & hair wig to this little beauty shop fronting the main road in the morning. Donning a black mini skirt after the makeover, I was delighted but felt shy with heart pumping hard when stepping out of the shop.

 

Then this remark came from the assistance was encouraging too, “Wow, nice body shape! Look perfect as a lady.” 

 

“Yes. She does”, replied the owner. Anyhow, I was too shy to say thank you.

 

I walked along East Coast Road to a photo studio near to the Church of the Holy Family for a half body portrait shot. The photos were collected four days later & were looked sweet (I thought). 

 

It was amazed to see me walking on a pair of 3 inches high heel from the photo studio all the way & checked into the Lai Ming Hotel next to Lorong 24 along Geylang Road, a good half an hour walk.

 

“Where do you want to go?” 

 

“Lido.” 

 

“What, can’t hear? Louder please...” 

 

“Lido.” 

 

“Lido, okay. So soft, talk louder la...” 

 

You might ask me did I like the show? My answer would be I did not know, as matter of fact, I did not even know the show title, I just bought the ticket & walked right in. I walked with head up under the dimly environment & I appreciated the kick of having the cold air floating under my skirt.

 

Probably about two third of the show, my self-conscious overtook my self-confidence, I walked out of the show prematurely as I worried that the big crowd when the show end might take notice of me. 

 

When I returned to the hotel, it was almost midnight as the folding gate was about to be locked. I was stopped by the doorman till I showed him the room key. Not long, a light knock was on the door, as I opened the door slightly, the doorman (found to be owner son later on) forced his leg into the room preventing me from closing the door.

 

I was worried he might hurt me. We talked in the room & some-how he just wanted to confirm his suspicion on my sexual identification. Knowing that I was still a student, he told me to study hard & not to pursue the path on cross dressing.

 

I de-dragged over the night & checked out early in the morning. All in all, my first dragging was exciting, scary with no self-confidence & failed to look convincingly. 

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

So, it went for me during those formative years. I had discovered other feelings too. Sincerely I felt like I was meant to be a cross dresser. I discovered masturbation somewhere along the line NEVER fantasized with a guy but rather with a girl. So for as long as I had ever taken a breath till meeting him (Kong), I had always wanted to go out with a lady, to make love with her, by having my orgasm in her body, to breast feed our children (as what I had done to my toddler sister), what a split personality. It just drove me nut & crazy.

 

I would love to have less muscular figure. I always dreamed to go to Isetan Katong for a professional bra fitting, to be properly measured, trying & to have the sales promoter adjust the bra straps for me. 

 

Things I tried to do to escape these weird feelings, but never had been able to…

 

Purged countless times on all female stuff only to reacquire everything again

Spent time in the army (national service), still wishing to be a girl at times & dressing up

Married, still wishing to be a girl at times & dressing up

Became a dad, wishing to be a girl at times & dressing up

 

 

------------------------- End of Chapter 1 ------------------------------------

 

Edited May 16, 2021 by Larry

[Larry]

A.  My First Love – Kong

Chapter 2: Why me? Why…

 

Apart from my cross-dress fetish, academically I did fine from primary 1 up to secondary 4 in an all boy catholic mission school, Maris Stella High School & pre-university boy-girl Catholic Junior College. On Dec. 21^st 1981 soon after the GCE A level examination, I was called up for national service together with many fellow classmates. 

 

Two camps Guillemard & SAFTI (S'pore Armed Forces Training Institute) were selected in the first intake of these high school graduates. We were nick named IHL group (Institute of Higher Learning) as majority would pursue further study eventually upon completion of service. 

 

I was posted to SAFTI "Kilo" company (the unfortunate group) as Guillemard was for all would-be scholars. My recruit days were hell as we were trained under a group of over enthusiastic NCOs (corporal) brought up by the Israeli army & were fighting / under observation for officer cadet admission. 

 

There were examples of these harsh treatments, such as marching in the vast parade square under the hot sun at noon time 12 pm, training till late night 1 am which left with 4 hours of sleep & platoon falling in from the barrack on 4th floor at the count of 10. 

 

As latecomers were usually be severely punish, 1 recruit was so desperate that he jumped from 2nd floor to beat the count & the jamb packed stair way, so he was injured & hospitalized, as a result, there was a MINDEF enquiry, 3 corporals were sent to jail, 1 sergeant was demoted & life was much better after that. 

 

After the 3 months recruit life, I went on for the 6 months School of Infantry Section Leader training & was luckily to go on for the last batch 9 months School of Officer Cadet training (service vocation) & was commissioned as a 2nd lieutenant (Quartermaster). 

 

With approximately 12 more months left to serve in the army, I was posted to a camp in the far western part of Singapore. Three of us, the MPO (classmate), MTO & QM myself reported at the CO’s office. The introduction was cordial & friendly, all senior officers & staff were around, the CO, 2IC, GSO, MO, OC for the 5 companies, Chief Clerk & RQ. However, I observed that the 2IC (He) behaved strangely, not only the way he looked at me, stared at me, also the way he shook my hand, his finger tickled my palm lightly, funny & weird, anyhow I was busy to keep memorize the introduction. 

 

As the camp was so far from home & was not directly accessible by buses, I chose to stay in & got a room in the HQ building by myself. After 1 week of observation, knowing that there would be no disturbance or visiting in the evening as the whole floor was occupied mainly by newly posted young NS officers just liked me, it was a good shelter as I was able to transfer from Jackie Bowl & store my female clothing & cosmetics. 

 

I had decided not to worry why did I cross dress for the time being, disregarding my psychological profile & got on with my life; cross dress when I felt like cross dressing. I felt a great weight being lifted off my shoulders; I began to keep my “female” clothes in my room & was able to cross dress in the evening with the door & window tightly shut. I felt I can relax & enjoy cross dressing more & not feel so terrified of being found out by my parent & grandma. I was still a bit nervous, but hopefully that will decrease over time. 

 

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

To be continued...

 

Edited November 19, 2020 by Larry

[Larry]

A.  My First Love – Kong

Chapter 2: Why me? Why…

 

I was young & naïve; never realize the potential threat in carrying out cross dressing in my room.

 

There was this fateful evening when I were resting & reading book in my own room, as I did not intend to cross dress, the door & window were opened. The 2IC (He) dropped in un-expectantly.

 

“Good evening, Sir.” I climbed down from the bed, stood up & paid my compliment.

 

“Good evening. As the senior duty officer this evening, I randomly pick your room for the inspection as yours is opened, okay? No hard feeling, just routine & random.”

 

“I…. Sir, may I have 5 minutes to tidy up the room?”

 

“No, is not necessary, just routine for the daily report. Unless you are telling me you have drug in the room?” 

 

“No, definitely no such stuff.” “Then just stand one side & let me have a quick glance of the locker, okay?” 

 

Oh gosh, holy shit, I was so unprepared to conceal my stuff. As soon as he opened the locker, he found a pink night gown hanging there. My face was reddened & head bowed so deeply, looking for a hole to hide.

 

“Sir, I am sorry, I…. “He did not mince one’s word & walked out the room with a light tap on my buttock.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

Immediately that evening, I packed the female clothing & cosmetic all into one traveling bag, it would be safer to move all stuff out of my locker or the camp rather as soon as possible. Till the coming Saturday 12 noon & before this was done, it was hell for the remaining week, I prayed hard similar incident would not happen again, I could not afford another exposure of my dark secret. 

 

In the evenings after dinner & shower, I stayed late at the lounge of officer mess reading up my own books, it was not comfortable as proper attire of PT kit & shoes were to be complied. Came bedtime I sneaked back to the room, shut close the door almost immediately with no light on. I was not too sure was I overreacting, but that was me, God damn bloody shit. 

 

As for him (2IC), I felt uneasy to meet; I was fearful, so lost in my self-esteem. I painstakingly took all necessary precautions to avoid him, making longer detour each time from HQ building to my office bypassing his office. I stood far away from him, looked away & avoided eye contact with him during the morning assembly. What would he think of me? A pervert, a joker or what?????? I was so proud of myself, a young second lieutenant, & there was a reserved placement in a local university upon completing my 2 & a half years national service. But now I might screw all up… what would happen if he tells others? For all people, why came to my room? Unreasonably, I cursed him, idiot, bastard, and son of the gun…. 

 

Came Saturday, avoiding the big crowd during noon time, I deliberately took my own time booking out at 2 pm. By doing so, I would miss the military transport & take a half hour walk to the nearest bus stop at Tuas end.

 

“What do you have in your bag?” asked the guard on duty. 

 

“There are used cloths & books.” 

 

“I need to check the bag.” Gosh, apparently the late book out was a bad move. 

 

“That won’t be necessary, just smelly clothing & books, okay?” I felt annoy & started raising my voice. 

 

“But…” 

 

“No but okay, I am Lt. Koh, QM. Do you still insist to check?” I started to pull rank. 

 

“Corporal, come.” the guard on duty called out. 

 

“Yes, soldier, I heard some commotion…,” came the duty NCO Corporal Tan, CQMS of Alpha Company (reporting to company commander but dotted to me on logistic support), he paused as he saw me, “Sorry sir, wows, checking out so late?”

 

“Yes, got things to do. Your guard insisted to check my bag.” 

 

“No, no, that won’t be necessary. Sorry to delay you.”

 

“Thanks, Corporal Tan.” On that note, I walked out of the guard post with the bag fully intact. Phew, that was a close shave!

 

That weekend, all stuff went back to a locker room at Katong Jackie Bowl. I could not keep things home as there was once found by my mum during her housekeeping & I had hard time to explain. I told her that those cosmetics were for the school drama society & I was the appointed make-up artist. I wasn’t sure she believed the explanation or not, but anyhow moved them out quickly by renting the locker at Katong Jackie Bowl, a monthly $20 rental rate at that time for a high school student was a big sum, that explained why I skipped some of the activities organized by fellow classmates.

 

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x 

To be continued...

 

Edited June 14, 2021 by Larry

[Larry]

A.  My First Love – Kong

Chapter 2: Why me? Why…

 

Things that I hope not to happen came sooner than expected. It was on the notice board duty roster that one of the evenings I would be the duty officer where the 2nd in-command (He) as the senior officer on-duty. I tried so hard talking to my classmate who was the manpower officer to make amendment but could not furnish him a good excuse. Oh, god, please help me.

 

"Do you know that this roster was vetted & approved by the 2IC?" 

 

"What? By 2IC, really?" I asked. 

 

"Of course. You give me one good reason before I talk to him. Honestly, this time is special, usually this is my boss's (GSO) job, but 2IC requested to do it this time."

 

"No wonder," so the pairing of me & him was done deliberately, I thought. 

 

"What? What do you mean by no wonder?" 

 

"No, no, nothing." 

 

"Then?" 

 

"Never mind, forget it then."

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

It never happened before I was so lost in my confidence prayed that the day would never come. On that evening, I stuck my neck & carried out the guard parade / inspection & guard duty roster. After that I went back to my room to have a rest as the next change of guard was 2 hours later.

 

I tried to read the Reader Digest to calm my nerve but just could not concentrate. Then there was this light knock on my door. Shit… First thing came to my mind was there might be troubles at the guard room. He (the 2nd in-command & the senior duty officer for that night) was there in front of me; he ought to just come from the officer mess as I smelled beer through his breath.

 

"Yes Sir?" I said.

 

"Can I come in?" 

 

"Sir, I am resting." 

 

"Cut the bullshit, let me in now, it is an order." 

 

I was so fearful & opened the door wider. Once in, he closed shut the door, & gripped me with his broad shoulder.

 

I put up all strength to resist his grasping but somehow just could not overcame his bull strength (at that time, I weighed only 97 lbs ~ 45 kg, even to date my weight is only 105 lbs as I am small built). I was angry & scared; my PT white vest was wetted due to heavy perspiration. 

 

"You better stop all this fighting & surely you do not want me to tell people about your pink dress. Isn't it?" 

 

"Sir, please, pleases… Please don't tell."

 

"OK, I will not tell." he paused. "I won't hurt you & I just want to hold you for a short while, is it understood?"

 

He let off his grip, walked towards the bed & sat down. "Come here & sit beside me, don't just stand there like a wood" 

 

I sat with head bowed so deeply. He held my hand & started to stroke my hairs. My face was totally reddened.

 

“Sir, what are you doing? This is wrong.”

 

“Wrong? Who care? I had been waiting for this for a long, long time…...” he spoke as he looked deep onto my eyes.

 

"Sir, I need to go. It is time for the next parade."

 

"Fine, so can you come to my room after the parade? Come with the pink dress okay.” 

 

“Sir, will you stop talking about the dress? Anyway, I threw it away already.” I was getting emotional, why was he kept talking about the pink night gown? 

 

“Then just come yourself, don’t forget, it is an order.”

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

After the parade (should be midnight 0000 hrs if I remember correctly), I went back to my room. Changed into PT kit, I walked up & down restlessly in that little room. What should I do now? Go or not to go? The question pounded me relentlessly. Finally, I took up the courage & told myself: "die, die so what?"

 

I walked sheepishly towards his room. I raised my hand & pressed lightly on the door button.

 

"Come on in, the door is not locked."

 

"Son of the gun, so confident to know that I will definitely turn up" I cursed him in my mind.

 

I turned the knob & entered the room. Gosh, the cold air rushed towards me & heard the low humming noise from the air-conditioner. Bustard, I only had a ceiling fan, this was not fair.

 

I stood helplessly next to the door daring not to look at him. He walked towards me, holding my hand & asked me to close the door.

 

"Well, well, well, good that you come. Come, come to the bed & sit down."

 

We sat. I tried to pull back my hand but seemed that he did not want to let go.

 

"Sir, I am not used to this."

 

"Oh yeah, you meant you have never hold hand with another guy before?"

 

"No. It never happens in my life."

 

"Don't worry. I won't hurt you; I just want to feel your little flawless hand."

 

My face was then completely reddened. This guy must be a homo-king. But separately I felt honour about his praising as my hand was indeed slender & fair, yes, with a fair bit of nail shaping & polishing, I would pass off as a female one.

 

"I saw that you have the pink night gown in your locker the other day. Why?"

 

"I don't know, Sir."

 

"Come on, tell me honestly you like these female stuffs,"

 

"Hmm…. may be."

 

"And… you like to make yourself look pretty with that stuff?"

 

This guy must be an idiot. He really read me like a book. What should I do now?

 

"Come, let have a drink. Can I pour you a beer?"

 

"Just little bit, Sir."

 

“Cheers.” He took in a big mouth full of beer. He started stroking my hair, my thigh & licking my ear. Gosh, what was he trying to do? With more beer went into his big belly, he became more & more restless, giving out strong beer breath at the same time (Now I know this is called horny, but at that time, I was blur like a sotong).

 

He started biting & licking my soft ear lobe lightly, I was shocked, frozen & closed my eyes tightly. I felt so erring, but at the same time a sensual sensation sent through my spine. Jesus, this guy ought to be a pervert, he liked to lick ear, I though. Suddenly I felt something wet on my lips, oh mine, now he started to kiss my lips.

 

“Sir, sir, please don’t do this, this is not correct.” I struggled & tried to push him away.

 

“Stop moving.” He forcefully gripped my upper arm.

 

“Aww… is painful.”

 

“Then you better be good & stop all this fighting.”

 

He went back to his kissing; sticking out his tongue but I closed tight my lips to refuse his entry. I could feel his perspiring, his deep howling & his hands went under my underwear caress my buttock. Slowly he pushed me down to the bed.

 

“Come; let me take out your shoes & socks.” I was so timid liked a lamb waiting to be slaughtered.

 

“My goodness, I see that you have nice pink polish.” Gosh, another dark secret was exposed.

 

He turned off the light with dim brightness which came from the corridor light filtered through the window curtain. He came back to the bed & removed all my clothes forcefully. He was liked an animal, tossed me to the inner side of the bed & came right on top of me.

 

Skin on Skin!!!!!!! Holy shit, this guy ought to be the champion in change parade as I was totally not aware that he was now naked completely.

 

He ought to be insane, licking my lips, my nipples, my body, every inched of it. I could smell the strong alcohol breathing from him, my tear rolled down from my cheek non-stop. Suddenly he flipped me around with stomach downward, he spread my butt crack & started thrusting my hole using his finger. This was wrong, this was crazy, and this was insane…

 

“Aww…. Pain… Stop, stop…. please don’t do this” I asked him to stop. He took my shoulders, slammed me down on the bed, “Quiet! You don’t want to be hurt right?” he said as he pushed my head against the pillow.

 

“Good, now I know you are virgin.” He licked my hole with load of saliva.

 

“Open up.” He hit my buttock, “I say open up, open up… are you listening, idiot?” like a howling animal, he screamed as he slammed my backside hard.

 

As his two hands were on my buttock, I could feel he was struggling, searching for ……

 

Suddenly with a forceful thrust, something huge was now entering into my hole. I cried out loud & screamed as the pain was horrible, liked tearing....

 

It probably lasted an eternity.

 

 

 

------------------------- End of Chapter 2 --------------------------

[herodai]

Hey 

 

Have you heard of this movie theme song sung by Alan Tam and a Japanese female singer. Forgot about the title 

[sphere]

2 hours ago, herodai said:

Hey 

 

Have you heard of this movie theme song sung by Alan Tam and a Japanese female singer. Forgot about the title 

Did you mean this one that I posted ---> here?

Pardon me if it isn't eh. 

 

[herodai]

5 hours ago, sphere said:

Did you mean this one that I posted ---> here?

Pardon me if it isn't eh. 

 

hmm no ... I remember not so sad ... and the female Japanese singer did not sing in English 

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 3: Hate him, curse him & hang him

 

He rolled over & fell asleep with loud snores, I stared quietly into the darkness, I could not stop sobbing; I didn't know what I had done to deserve this. It was abominable. Somehow, I managed to pick myself up, got dress, quietly opened the door & walked back to my room which was on the same floor but at opposite wing.

 

It was early morning 2 a.m., the past 1 over hours was a complete nightmare.

 

What should I do now? I was raped & I had his seed in my body, trying to fight the feeling of nausea caused by his saliva which smeared all over my body, I went & had a shower.

 

Tear rolled together with the water. I was no longer a virgin & worst I lost it to a man but not a girl. I could never cleanse myself no matter how long I stood under the shower.

 

Ending the shower & tried to get some sleep before the dismissal parade, I just could not sleep. All the memories haunted me as the scene kept repeating itself; I felt degrading & left to cry.

 

I had no one to talk to & no one noticed that I wanted to die, “Ling, Ling, I need to talk to you.” I thought of my dearest pal, my big ‘sister’ Ling. Home was 6 hours away & it was so late at night, I did not want to scare him.

 

I did not realize that rape could happen between guys; I must lodge a complaint to the commanding officer & put this guy to court-marshal.

 

But would that affect me? My reputation, my forthcoming university education, my family & all the other people that knew me... There would be no way to minimize the publicity as there were 2 classmates in the same camp; gosh so many questions were pondering me…

 

Hazily I went into semi unconsciousness…

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

Awakened by the alarm, I changed into uniform & climbed down slowly for the dismissal parade. My ass was burning; I guessed it must be torn & possibly bleeding. After the parade, I went back to the guard room to complete the report. Apparently, the bustard was there waiting to countersign the report.

 

“Morning, Larry. Last night I was sorry, I…”

 

“Sorry? You infringed & caused hurt on my body, and now you want to say sorry!”

 

“I did wrongly but I wish you can give me a chance to explain.”

 

“Ha-ha, you want to tell me your mind was not sound, you were influence by the alcohol, right?”

 

“No, no. Just give me 5 minutes okay.”

 

“I do not want to listen; you get ready your defense for the court-marshal. Fat hope!”

 

“Larry, please…”

 

“Don’t you dare to touch me? I am going to the commander office now.” Without giving him a look, I signed on the report before storming out of the guard room. 

 

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

To be continued...

 

Edited June 14, 2021 by Larry

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 3: Hate him, curse him & hang him

 

It was about 7.00 in the morning & I stood right in front of CO’s office. Emotionally & mentally I wanted commander to be on my side, i.e. to take severe action & put him to jail.

 

“A, hi, handsome young man, you are early, waiting to see me.” Spoke CO as he walked towards me.

 

“Yes sir, I…" Hurriedly I stood attention & gave a salute.

 

“Come to my room & tell me your problem, okay.” He spoke as he key-opened the door.

 

“Sit down young man,” he paused as he put down the newspaper & suitcase on the desk, “Now, tells me your problem.”

 

“Sir, I…”

 

“Yes, I am waiting.”

 

“Sir, I…” I choked as tear started flowing down my chin; it was just beyond my control, “Sir, I am sorry.”

 

“Oh dear, calm down.” He spoke as he passed me a tissue, “Your skin is puffy around your eyes, you cried over the night?”

 

“Sir, there is this personal problem. It is not convenience to tell you now.” What wrong with me now, I somehow chickened out not telling him the ugly incident involving his number 2 man, this would be the best time.

 

“Oh, I see. I assume is boy-girl relationship issue. So, what sort of help you want from me?”

 

“Sir, please can I have 2 days of leave.”

 

“Well, personal problem does not permit me to grant you leave on compassionate ground. Let see…” he paused, “Why don’t you walk over to the medical centre; I probably can arrange something for you, okay.”

 

“Thank you, sir. Appreciate.” I stood & gave him a salute.

 

“Don’t worry, young man, my door is always open, feel free to see me.”

 

Truly, I went to the medical centre & got a 2-days MC.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

I returned home & coyly told mum that I was not well & had 2 days medical leave. She was busy preparing lunch for my school going younger sister & did not pay attention on my swelling eyes.

 

“Mom, I am not taking lunch. I had my breakfast in the camp.” I returned to my own room.

 

I locked the door & ripped off all clothing. Standing in front of the big mirror, I carefully checked & found that there were scratches (must be caused by his nails) & small patches of red marks here & there at the back of my body. I wiped a tissue on my hole & found blood stains. Never knew that this guy was so barbaric.

 

I called big sister Ling (he was exempted from national service for anaemia blood deficiency & was in the university first year), a school mate cum close friend since primary till junior college. He is the only guy friend that having the same fetish on female stuff just liked me.

 

“Hi, Ling, are you in school? Can we meet?”

 

“OK, I am free now till 2pm.”

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

“Mum, I am going out to meet Ling.”

 

“Sick still want to go out, you took your medicine already?” Mom was still mom, so long winded.

 

I waited for Ling at the bowling alley of International Plaza opposing Prince Edwards Campus. I sat at one extreme corner. The alley was quite as it was just opened for business. Staring blankly on the maintenance guys cleaning up the lane, I was in trance.

 

………

 

“A, hey, my small sister (in mandarin), wake up." We always greet each other as sister when no one is around. As he is older than by 2 months, he is my big sister & I am the small sister.

 

“Ling, I ……”

 

“What wrong with you? Are you crying?”

 

I rested my head on his shoulder & sobbed softly. “Ling, I was raped.”

 

“What? Holly shit, are you kidding?”

 

I told him what had happened over the night. “Ling, I am confused. What should I do now?”

 

“Tell you what, you have only 2 options, sue him until he drops his pant or totally forget it & move forward.”

 

“I cannot just simply let him get out of the hoop so easily.”

 

“So, you want to sue him. Dear, think carefully, what about your parent? What will be their reaction? Think, don’t be so emotional.”

 

Finally, I heeded his advice & decided to drop the case. To date, Ling is still my best friend, she (he went through sex change eventually) always around to give me constructive opinion, although sometimes I did not really agree why she always chose on the losing side.

 

 

------------------------- End of Chapter 3 ---------------------

 

Edited December 5, 2020 by Larry

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 4: A pain in the neck

 

2 days medical leave had passed & I reported back to work. For those 2 days, I hided in my room except meal hours to get myself healed mentally & physically. In-between, Ling phoned a few times to chit chat; he (she) is indeed a good friend despite his busy school tutorials.

 

Decisively, on the evening of the second day, I told myself to put this hateful & ugly event behind me, that was an episode in my life I rather forget, endure thru’ the remaining months & get on with my university study.

 

As I was on my way to my office, I met my RQ along the corridor. “Wows, Sir you look cool, man.” He exclaimed while saluting me. In actual, I was wearing the sun glass to conceal my swollen eyes.

 

“Oh, yeah, I am having red eye okay. You better don’t stand too near to me.”

 

“Ok la… Sir. Yeah, by the way, someone sent you a box of chocolate with a ribbon on top.”

 

“What, a box of chocolate? Who is the sender?”

 

“I don’t know, mysteriously it was on your desk yesterday. Could it be from one of the ladies in GS office?” My staff sergeant was a busybody cum ‘Dirty old Man’, he was about the age of my father, yet still so chekopak. There were 3 young females newly posted to GS (General Staff) office & there were many secret admirers.

 

“Are you kidding, staff? I am not interested.”

 

Entered my office I saw a box of chocolate. There was a little card attached to it, type written: Hope that you will get well soon. Sincerely yours. No name & no signature.

 

Coming out from my office & walked to the next door, I brought along the box of chocolate & handed to RQ, “Staff, share with other soldiers, I never like chocolate.”

 

Gosh, one box of chocolate kept coming to my desk for the next couple of days & I was getting extremely annoyed. There was no name of sender, no message, no card & just came with a ribbon. All my store personnel were talking about it.

 

“Sir, so good, man. Every day got chocolate to eat.”

 

“Corporal Tan, if you like chocolate, say so. I will buy you 10 boxes. Do not make me angry, OK? What the hell!” I normally was quite mild manner & not bossy but somehow today was difference.

 

“Sorry Sir.” He sheepishly walked away.

 

I was angry & charged into the RQMS office next door.

 

“Staff, who the hell is this joker, keeps on doing this kind of silly thing?” Yes, I wanted to think was that Susan but could not confirm. I did remember that my classmate the MPO told me that she was always looking at me whenever I walked pass the HQ building.

 

“Sir, relax. You know, love is blind, love is never said die & love is the greatest.” This chekopak was smiling & started to talk rubbish again.

 

“Staff, stops, stops, stops, okay. Immediate today, I want you to lock my room every evening. Is it understood?” Without waiting for his reply, I went back to my room, changed into PT kit & went for my evening run.

 

The chocolate stopped to receive for rest of the week & life was back to normal. Anyway, I told RQ continue to lock my office.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

“Sir, 2IC ask to see you as soon as possible.” Lance Corporal Tan, my office runner conveyed the message while I walked past RQ office. Oh no, a new week but this did not seem to be good at all.

 

“What is it about?”

 

“Not so clear Sir. But his runner spoke about the coming exercise preparation.”

 

For all this while after that awful incident, I had tried to avoid the 2IC, somehow this time I just had to go & face him. I brought along the file containing the details of logistic requirement for the forthcoming exercise & went up to his office.

 

“Morning Sir, you want to see me?”

 

“Oh, hi, I am happy to see you. Come & have a seat.” He shifted his eye from his desk work & looked at me.

 

I sat down. This rotten bastard sounded so unusual, so courteous & un-authoritative, unlike a senior officer talking to a junior.

 

“How are you these few days?”

 

“I am fine Sir. I was on MC last week.” I spoke coolly & looked side way avoiding eye contact.

 

“Yes, I know, Larry.”

 

“Sir, I prefer you address me as Second Lieutenant Koh.” He was taken aback from my reply struggling to continue the conversation as I drew a line strictly on official business between us.

 

“Oh… No.” He paused. “Huh… I am just concerned about you as I knew that I had hurt you badly.”

 

“Oh, yeah, really? Don't be a hypocrite & don’t talk about it anymore.” My tear started welling on my ear. I hated myself as a wimpy shedding tear in front of my enemy.

 

“Don’t worry, Ok. I will not report you to the higher authority. Is this what you want to hear from the horse's mouth?” I screamed while keeping the volume low.

 

“Oh... No. No, no. That is not my real intention. I done wrong, deserve to be punished & I can’t stop you to report if you want to. Nevertheless, I am seeking ways for your forgiveness.”

 

“Ha-ha, not even a million dollars is sufficient to recoup my loss of virginity.”

 

“You know I am so clumsy. Those chocolate were sent by me, I heard that you were upset & threw tantrum to your staff. I am sorry if that do annoy you.”

 

“You mean a few boxes of chocolate are able to append your crime? Fat hope! I will never forgive you for the rest of my life, stop doing all these meaningless things.” I raised my voice a few decibels & tears started dropping on the desk.

 

“Please stop crying. There might be people watching.” He pushed me a tissue & sheepishly looking at the corridor. I felt so triumph that I was able to thumb him down liked a Mickey Mouse.

 

“Sir, I leave the file here, everything is there, okay. I will ask my runner to collect back this afternoon. If there is nothing else, please excuse me.” I walked out of his office without waiting for his approval. 

 

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x 

To be continued...

 

Edited December 15, 2020 by Larry

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 4: A pain in the neck

 

After the dinner, as usual I went back to my room, since that impromptu visit by that bloody 2IC resulting the exodus of female stuff, the cross-dress fetish was shelved & I could only spend the evening reading.

 

Almost all junior & senior officers who stayed back in camp would loiter in the officer mess in the evening. It was not that I want to stay alone but I just did not agree with their behavior, the bold & unconstrained drinking. Wouldn’t it be less manly for non- or casual drinkers? I wondered.

 

They would consume pint after pint of duty-free beer, although it was duty free but somehow still caused huge sum of hard-earned money. They would push hard in the morning PT run not for the sole purpose of keeping fit but rather to get over the potential big belly as result of overnight heavy drinking. What a pathetic contradiction!

 

I was lucky to have a slender body that was as light as feather, 97 lbs (44 kg) as matter of fact & I wanted to keep it that way. Because of my light weight, I represented my company for cross country run during the recruit days.

 

Associating with the heavy drinking, they would talk or boost about their most recent catches, their newly found girlfriends, blab… blab… blab… blab…. Such was a bunch of shallow guys. Men are men….

 

Besides drinking in the lounge area, there were billiard & dart games available. Most of the time, the game area would normally occupy by the seniors, leaving no room for the juniors.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

I learned the billiard game as an extra-curricular activity during my 1st year in junior college, a boy-girl catholic mission high school. There was this senior guy helping behind me, one hand on my hand in holding the cue & another hand on my 2nd hand to form a rest.

 

“Steady your hand.” He talked so softly & patiently on how to aim for the pot shot.

 

“Concentrate & aim.” There was sort of strange feeling coupled with his body warm & nice body odour.

 

“Thanks, Allen.” I replied as I turned my head, accidentally my lips touched his while my specs hit his, “Ouch, I’m sorry.”

 

“No, never mind.” As he replied my heart was popping hard & face was reddened, “Hey, by the way, you smell good, I really like it. Did you use any perfume?” He whispered the question in my ear.

 

“Why?” My face blushed further.

 

“Well, it smells like Chanel my elder sister frequently uses, right?”

 

“Don’t tell you, secret okay.”

 

“Don’t tell, don’t tell lo… so secretive, worse than girls.”

 

It was dreamy, it was unplanned & it flew naturally, as far as I was concern, there was flirting in-between & I did enjoy it. That unprecedented up close physical contact was my first with a guy, would that accidentally lip to lip dragonfly water touching signified my virgin kiss? I was confused…

 

“Allen, what have you done to Larry? Look at him, his face was so red.” I cursed at this stupid Peter with his itchy mouth.

 

Later, while visiting the washroom I realized that there was big patch of wetness on my trouser. Gosh, I could not believe I was sexually aroused by a guy of the same sex.

 

I forfeited the usual afternoon tea session with them & went home hurriedly, with files in front concealing the wet patch. Jesus, those were the happy days that I could never forget.

 

To avoid the recurrence of this embarrassing encounter, I switched to another activity. 

 

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

To be continued...

 

Edited December 15, 2020 by Larry

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong

Chapter 4: A pain in the neck

 

I sat on the bed & placed the pillow vertical up against the wall to support my back. I flipped to the end section of the “Female” (Chinese) magazine & started reading the love story. At that time, this “Female” magazine was popular for youngster liked me. Although titled “Female”, it was suitable for guys also as it contained subjects liked horoscopes, trendy accessories, male & female relationship & etc.

 

As I was so engrossed on the development of the love hate relationship in-between some of the characters, I heard a light knock on the door.

 

“Yes, who’s out there?”

 

“Is me, 2IC. I come to see you, can I come in?”

 

“Oh, no Sir, I……” I was shocked & frozen, pausing for good excuse. “I just took the medicine & is about to sleep now; I am having a fever now.”

“Oh, like that. Huh…. okay, you have a good rest.”

 

I walked sneakily toward the door & off the light. Slowly opened the door without creating any noise, I peeped through the small gap & saw that he slowly walked back to the other wing.

 

I went back to my bed. I was angry, confused & frightened, what the hell was this bustard intend to? My peaceful evening was ruined. All those things that he said during the day were all lies. I cried unstoppable. Since the night I lost my virginity, I realized that I was getting very emotional, I cried easily & I lost my temper easily. All caused by this idiot… what had I done wrong? Why should I face with this sort of agony? Why? Why? Why?

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

I regained my sense & returned to sitting position while holding the pillow, wows, it was soaked wet, never realized that I was such a crying pot.

 

His knocking at my door was totally unexpected. I had checked & knew he was not on duty this evening, why was he still around as all senior officers ranked captain & above were staying out? Wasn’t he having ultimate motive? I was getting cold feet as I went into wild thinking.

 

Since that incident, I decided that I would check out for the night whenever he was scheduled on duty. I thought I was smart, but somehow this seemed not to be fool proof. What should I do now?

 

I felt so insecure & needed to talk to someone. As I checked my watch & noted that it was about 930 pm, Ling could possibly have returned home from school by then. I decided to call him by using the public phone which located at the ground floor of HQ building.

 

With the light remained off, I searched & put on my slipper. Well, I was able to be seemed in public with the exposed toes as the nail polish was removed since that incident; I cursed that bustard for causing me to forfeit such kinky fun.

 

I sneaked out of the room. I was taking a risk, if he looked out from his bunk, I would be spotted.

 

“Ling is me. Sorry to disturb, free to talk?”

 

“Yes, small sister, what can I do for you?” As usual, he was always very cheerful.

 

“Hey, don't be so veined can or not? I am in serious trouble.”

 

“Okay, ok. Let get serious, shot me your problem now.”

 

“Ling, tell you what, that bastard came & knocked at my room this evening.”

 

“Really, holy-shit... So, what had happened then?”

 

“I told him I was having fever. So how……?”

 

“Ai yoyo, this guy is crazy. I suggest you lock your room tight, he might sneak into your room, rape & kill.”

 

“Ling….” I shouted over the phone. “Don’t scare me can or not? I am so worry & yet you still make fun of this.” On second thought, big sister might have a point, I better placed a chair behind the door later.

 

“Okay, okay, sorry.” He paused. “Let me ask you, you can stay out right?”

 

“Yeah, so what are you recommending?”

 

“Your camp is sort of ulu, but you did tell me that there is a pick-up point by the military truck near our houses, right?”

 

“Yes, it is within walking distance from our places & I use the transport on every Monday morning.”

 

”I know is troublesome but why not you check out every evening & come stay with me, just like those old days.”

 

“Huh…. But is then troublesome lee… it will take almost one & a half hours to reach Joo Chiat.”

 

“Well, still not that bad, not later than 7 o’clock, right?”

 

“But I will miss the privilege of jogging in the evening…. And I enjoy the lustrous looks from the ladies along the way (note: there was a lady quarter in the camp).”

 

“Small sister, you can’t have everything you so desire. Tell you what, you go & think carefully tonight & call me tomorrow before 830 on your decision.” 

 

 

------------------------- End of Chapter 4 ---------------------

Edited December 22, 2020 by Larry

[Larry]

Merry Christmas 

 

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 5: The game of hide & seek

 

I woke up early & went to cook house for breakfast. After collected my breakfast, I turned around to look for an occupied table at the officer section.

 

“Hi. Larry. Over here.” I looked around & saw my classmate, the MPO waving at me from afar.

 

As I carried the meal tray & walked towards him, I saw that the 2IC was also there seated opposing him. Shit… that idiot was early than me & he was waving at me. Damn… it was going to be a bad day.

 

It was a peculiar catch-22 situation, here my classmate was calling me but there was a person that I hated to face. I had no choice but to carry the tray & walked towards them.

 

Standing beside my classmate & faced him diagonally, I murmured: “Morning Sir.”

 

“Hi… Good morning, Lt. Koh. Please have a seat & join us.”

 

“Thanks.” I replied but looked sideway.

 

“How is your fever?”

 

“Um... is better now.” I replied reluctantly without making eye contact, concentrating on the food.

 

“Sir, I need to get change for the morning assembly. Larry, enjoy your breakfast.” Unlike me who was already properly dress for the assembly, bloodily he was still in PT attire.

 

“Yes, you better keep going.”

 

There was a momentarily period of silent & the air stayed still. I hated it but I just could not simply walk away before finished off the food. He moved & sat directly facing me.

 

“Look, don’t treat me like that. I am sorry & I really want to do whatever is necessary to atone for my sin.” He spoke lowly.

 

“Please stop talking all this. There is nothing that you can do to amend your crime. Can you give me back my virginity?” My tears were started dropping.

 

“Oh, no, no…. please don’t cry. I have no mean to agitate you. Look, there are soldiers around.” It seemed that tear was my best weapon.

 

“Sir, you better leave first. I need time to re-compose myself.”

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

On the way towards the parade square, I make a call to Ling. “Ling, what time you will be home tonight?”

 

“Alright, I would assume that you have decided to come to my place. I will be home by around 8 pm. Anyway, I will tell my mom that you are coming. See you tonight.”

 

Before taking the story to the next level, let me talk a little bit about Ling as readers may wonder why I chose to stay at his (her) place instead of my home.

 

Our houses were near to each other, on the same street with 4 terrace houses separating us in Joo Chiat area a private housing estate, a not-so short walk to Geylang Serai Market.

 

Ling’s mom Auntie Lily is a widow & Ling is her only son. She ran a hair dressing & beauty salon, and mom frequently used her service thus they become good friends. Ling & I went to the same school, Maris Stella High, a catholic mission school affiliated with primary & secondary sections, and again we went to Catholic Junior College together for our pre-university education.

 

Our relationship was normal & plain not until secondary 2 when he found out my crossdressing fetish (see Chapter 1 dated 15^th November 2020), I become his small sister & he / she is my big sister.

 

Ling’s family is church going whereas mine is not; nevertheless, my mom did not stop me from going for Sunday mass together with his family. My parents ran for the family coffee powder business passed down from my grandpa near the Geylang Serai Market 7 days a week & I was the only son (mom gave birth of my younger sister when I was in primary 4). So, I guessed it must be this reason that she allowed me from getting close with Ling.

 

During the year end long school holiday periods, I would stay overnight at his place frequently with mom’s consents. Auntie Lily, Ling’s mom would always like to hug me whenever I came with comment like “such an adorable kid, how nice if you are my daughter.”

 

“My goodness, I am a boy not a girl, auntie!” I would always look down & muttered.

 

I will stop here about the dark secret between us, how he (she) became my second lover & etc. I will write about this at a later stage.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

To be continued...

 

Edited December 24, 2020 by Larry

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 5: The game of hide & seek

 

At 515 pm. immediately after the staff parade, walking along with those staying out personnel, I headed pass the guard room to the vast cement compound located outside the camp. There parked with 10 over 3 toners & big number of civilian vehicles.

 

As I searched for the 3 toners ran on route #7, I saw RQ standing next to a 3 toners & walked towards him.

 

“Staff (my RQ was holding the rank of staff sergeant), which one is for route # 7?”

 

“Sir, this is the one. Sir, are you taking # 7?”

 

“Yes, MPO told me Geylang Serai is one of the drop-off points. Am I right, Staff?”

 

“That right, it travels pass Geylang Serai & ends at Chai Chee where I reside.” He paused, “Sir, staying out tonight?”

 

“Yes, most probably I will be staying out for these 2 weeks.”

 

“2 weeks... Oh, Sir, in that case, you ought to be the vehicle commander.” I sensed his unpleasantness as he would have to sit on the hard benches at the back instead of the soft cushion the front he enjoyed all this while.

 

“Staff, is OK, I want to sit at the back with the rest of the soldiers. Please continue to be the vehicle commander as I drop-off earlier than you.”

 

“Sir, not so good la… I may get reprimand for insubordination.”

 

“Staff, I insist & I am telling you is Okay… so don’t worry can or not.” I slanted my eye & gave him a stare. Oh shit, what a feminine behaviour, this suddenly struck my mind & my face was reddened. I climbed up the 3 toners quickly.

 

It was a long & sleepy journey as many of them dozed off along the way. Not to show any sloppiness, I kept myself alert & dropped off at Geylang Seria eventually at around 630 pm. It took me another 15 minutes’ walk before reaching Ling’s place at Joo Chiat.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

Auntie Lily came & opened the gate.

 

“Ah… Welcome, it has been a few months that you didn’t come to visit me. Come, come, come, let me has a good look.” As usual, she was so drama.

 

“Ai-yo-yo, what sort of army you are serving, see, so fair… & your hands are so smooth.” She was holding my hands & closely examining my fingers. My face went redden, but I did enjoy that intimate touch. There were times I thought that Auntie Lily was better than mom as mom would never talk to me like that, maybe she does not have that sort of lively peranakan culture just like auntie Lily.

 

My parents never showed their affection on me, my recruit’s passing out parade & officer commissioning were witnessed by Ling & Auntie Lily but not any one of my parents. There was once that the school bus failed to come, dad was told by grandma to send me to school with his bicycle.

 

As we cycled pass the neighbourhood, I saw the envious looks coming from the entangle school mates, I felt so proud that I can never forget till this day. However, dad’s relentless grumbles stopped me from telling him, “Dad, I love you. Thanks, I am so proud of you.”

 

“Auntie Lily, neighbour might be watching.”

 

“Okay, ok. Come in & have dinner first.” She let off my hands & led me into the house.

 

“Auntie Lily, did Ling tell you that I will be staying here for a period?”

 

“Oh yes, as long as you like, just take this place as your own house. By the way, you mom aware about it?”

 

“I will inform her afterward.”

 

“That is my good girl.” Jesus, what wrong with Auntie Lily, the same old mix-up of sexual orientation, but I had no complaint. 

 

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

To be continued...

 

Edited June 14, 2021 by Larry

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong

Chapter 5: The game of hide & seek

 

”Mom, is me,” I called mom after dinner with Auntie Lily. We did not wait for Ling as he would usually have his in the university canteen.

 

“Yes, where are you now?”

 

“I am at Ling’s place.”

 

“Are Ling ok?”

 

“No, nothing happening. Just that I am staying out, so I come to stay here.”

 

“Why you are not coming home? Your dad will be furious if he found this out, you know?”

 

“Mom. That is why I phone & not walking over. Please do not tell, okay?” Yes, I would be doomed to be seemed by dad as he would spend his evening in front of the television set.

 

“So, when are you going to come home?”

 

“Just as usual every Saturday afternoon.”

 

“Son, I cannot understand why you are avoiding us? You had not talked to your dad for quite a long while.”

 

“I hate him. I don’t respect him as my dad.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Oh, yeah, you want to know why? I am just a national service man, why he expects me to bring home money with that miserable $90? Mom, you cannot deny not knowing about this.”

 

“Well, your dad expects you to start contribute for the family. I don’t think that is unreasonable.”

 

“So? So how much you all expect from that $90 allowance?”

 

“But you are now an officer.”

 

“Yeah…, what’s a big deal. Mom, I am not regular. Moreover, I am saving the money for my university education.”

 

”University…?” she paused, “Not to what we expect from you.”

 

“What?”

 

“We expect you to take over the coffee powder business.”

 

“No way, I want to go university & become an engineer. Don’t expect me to be the stallholder working in that dirty & filthy marketplace for the rest of my life.”

 

“But who is going to take over? You are our only son, you know.”

 

“I don’t really care. Mom, I do have my dream & vision.”

 

“But…”

 

“Mom, I am hanging up, okay. I don’t wish to talk anymore. Goodnight.” I hung up the phone without waiting for her reply, as I was getting very emotional.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

Ling returned home at around 830 pm. I already took my shower & was reading book on the bed. We did not talk much as he was busily preparing his project report, so I just went to bed alone.

 

Half awaken half asleep; the room went dark as Ling climbed up to the bed.

 

“Hey, sleeping beauty.” He whispered softly to my ear. As usual he hugged me as though I was his bolster.

 

“Hmm…” I murmured as I snuggled beneath his warm body, I just loved it, I felt safe & secure. There was a tingle of sisterhood floating in the air.

 

Very soon, I entered onto the dreamland.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

The life was back to normal for the rest of the week except that I missed the leisure & luxury lifestyle in the evening & morning. I also missed the starring from the woman quarter during my evening jogs. I was sort of lost & confuse generation, at one end I felt feminine inside, but at the other end, I enjoyed the ogle look from the female soldiers (yes, why not? I was young, just 20 years old & eligible). What a confuse personality.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

Leaving Ling’s house at 515 a.m. The pick-up time was 545 & a 20-minutes was needed to reach the pick-up point.

 

With 5 minutes remained, I waited at the pick-up point, there were a few soldiers earlier than me. A brown Ford Cortina car came & stopped abruptly near to me. The hazard lights were blinking, the driver probably lost his navigation & looking for direction, I thought.

 

”Hello… hello…” The window came down as the driver called out from inside.

 

“Yes, can I help you?” There was no soldier in nearby, I got no choice but to conceal my apathy & came forwards.

 

“Lt. Koh, good morning.”

 

“What you want from me, Sir?” I spoke with anger. Damn bloody… I looked inside the car & saw that idiot with his smiling face.

 

“Can I give you a lift?”

 

“Sir, I am taking the 3 toners.”

 

“Is OK, no special purpose. I am living nearby & I am on the way to camp too.” He leaned over & opened the door.

 

“Please do come in. There is a bus coming from behind.” As not to prolong the peculiar scene with the presence of other soldiers, I went into the front seat hesitantly, putting on the seat belt & moved my buttock as close to the door as possible.

 

“Taken your breakfast already?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“This hour the traffic is smooth & no congestion.” Boring, I thought.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Do you have a driving license?”

 

Damned, he was getting personal now, I thought, “No.”

 

A few more “Yes” & “No” replies from me, the atmosphere was tense & it was silent for the rest of the journey.

 

“Thank you & goodbye, Sir.”

 

“Lt. Koh, mind to join me for a cup of coffee at the officer mess.” It was still early at around 715 am, another 40 minutes before the morning roll calling & flag rising.

 

“Sorry Sir, I have thing to do. May be the next time?” I turned quickly facing toward the next building.

 

“Wait. How about this evening, can I give you a lift?”

 

Ha-ha, this scumbag was up to no good, “Sir, I may stay back tonight.” I was trying to play hide & seek.

 

“Okay, never mind. If you change your mind, wait for me at around 510 here. Okay?” Fat hope…, wait long-long…  

 

“Thank you, Sir.” I walked off without giving him a second look. I could sense that his stare behind me, & I felt like tripping. Damn…, what wrong with me????????

 

 I was restless for the whole day. Should I check out or stay back this evening? It seemed to me that this scumbag was monitoring my movement; he was able to know where I stayed even. After much deliberation, I decided to check out, I believed that he would not dare to harm me outside so long as was not alone whereas he might abuse his authority inside the camp. 

 

 

 

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

To be continued...

 

 

Edited January 14, 2021 by Larry

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 5: The game of hide & seek

 

Immediately the next morning, I took a different path by walking on a back lane parallel to the main road. It was dingy & smelly, so much so that I had to cover my nose with a handkerchief. Taking precaution not to step on any dog dung under the dimly streetlights, I manoeuvred slowly, while at the same time observing the unrestrained activities of cockroaches, lizards & rats.

 

What on earth I had to face such predicament, all were because of that idiot, perhaps I did harm him in our previous life, so he came to seek revenge this life, I thought.

 

Coming out at the end of the back lane, I walked backwards on the main road towards the pick-up point. Instead of walking on the pavement, I walked along the shop fronts which came with canopies providing good coverage.

 

I looked at the spot that he picked me up yesterday. Damned, the same brown Cortina was there. This idiot was a bloody leech, I thought. I better be careful & walked under the shadow came from the canopies.

 

Instead standing at the pavement, I waited under the canopy not too far away from the pick-up point, till the 3 toners arrived & ran towards it.

 

It was miserable…

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

I closed the gate & prepared to walk to the pick-up point. It seemed to me that the choice of using the back lane was able to avoid him; I whistled softly & enjoyed the morning breeze. Suddenly, a beam of light shone from behind, I looked back & saw the brown Cortina.

 

“Sir, I am telling you now stop tailing me. Don’t force me go to the police!” I screamed.

 

“No, I am not tailing you, I am staying nearby. True, I swear to God.” God would never pardon a rapist, I thought.

 

“So, what do you want from me?”

 

“Nothing, I just want to give you as lift.” He said as he came out of the car while the engine was still on.

 

“So, what if I say no?”

 

“Oh, please, please don’t do this to me. For the past few weeks, I could not eat, could not sleep. My mind is full of you.”

 

“Sir, what are talking? We are all guys, are you crazy?”

 

“Yes, I am crazy & I just cannot control it.” I saw tear flowing down from his face, holy shit, this couldn’t be true.

 

“Okay. Okay, let get into the car now.” As there might be neighbours going to market, I conceded to his request.

 

 

 

------------------------- End of Chapter 5 ---------------------

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 6: Live & let… live

 

Parking near to a lamp post in East Coast Park with windows half wound down, the engine was off & it was in complete silence inside the car.

 

“I am giving you 5 minutes now to say what you want to say.” I broke the silent.

 

“I…”

 

“Yes?” I raised my tone, “I am waiting.”

 

“Larry, can I call you Larry?” He was silent for a moment but began to say with such irrelevancy.

 

“You only have 4 minutes left before I get out.”

 

“Larry, I am not a stranger to you, I took notice of you 6 years ago.”

 

“6 years ago? Come on, do not talk nonsense. Okay.”

 

“No, is true, see this picture.” He pulled out a photo from his purse & passed to me. Shit… it showed me together with Ling in our secondary school uniform, it seemed that we were at a bus stop.

 

“When you took this picture?”

 

“It was taken in year 1977. See, there is a printed date at the bottom.” 25 06 77, I was stunned & my jaw was widely opened, what was this? What was going on?

 

“Where you took this picture?”

 

“You still remember the bus stop along Joo Chiat Place that you waited for bus every morning? No bluffing, my house is exactly next to the bus stop.” Hmm, seemed to be authentic, I thought.

 

“But you still got no right to take pictures without our permission, right?”

 

“I understand & I am sorry.”

 

“But why you did this? And why’s me?”

 

“I don’t know. There was this time that I was doing gardening at the front yard. I saw you & your classmate at the bus stop. I just could not help myself; you have the kind of attractiveness, demure & slender, sweet looking & refreshingly elegant. I could not stop looking at you till the bus gone.” Why Auntie Lily & now this guy had the same thought, I was confused & disturbed.

 

“And then?” I softened my tone.

 

“Every morning whenever I looked out & found you at the bus stop, I had a special feeling, I felt that I wanted to know you, to talk to you & to be with you.”

 

“How many times you did this photo taking?”

 

“Twice I did. The first time was not so good, so I did it the second time.”

 

“So, what happen to these pictures?”

 

“I kept all on my photo album, except this one I keep it on my wallet. Larry, for all these years, I would look at this picture whenever I felt lonely.”

 

“My. My, you are crazy, I am a guy. Don’t you have a girl friend?”

 

“She left me long time ago. Since then, I decided not to get involve in boy-girl relationship.”

 

“Please carry on, I am listening.”

 

“Yes, since that day I longed for your appearance at that specific hour.”

 

“Don’t lie to me, how the army can allow you to start work late?”

 

“Oh, at that time I was on SAF regular scholarship doing mechanical engineering in Singapore U.” What a small world, I would be doing the same subject at the same university after my discharge, & this guy going to be my senior. This was not right, in the army, he was my superior, & in the study he would also be my senior. What a joke…

 

“Because of this longing to see you, I missed many important lectures in the morning.” I wondered what on earth this attraction I possessed that make him did this. I felt frozen & cool right through my spine, this guy got to be a psychic. He might do thing irrational (In 1987, I went with Ling & watched the show Fatal Attraction by Michael Douglas & Glenn Close, that was same kind of fear).

 

“Why are you doing this? Silly, I don’t deserve this.” I softened my tone.

 

“And yes, you two were calling each other big & small sister, right?” Oh, dear, I did not have to probe anymore, this was a secret solely shared between me & Ling, no other third party but he knew. My face was reddened; I believed all those things he just said without reservation. I remained silent as I did not know what to answer.

 

“I am sorry. It was incorrect eavesdrop the conversation between you & your classmate.”

 .

“No, we were just careless.”

 

The sun was started rising from the horizon & the lamp posts were off. I looked at my watch & found that it was already 615 am. Time flied & I was getting more & more interested to find out more from him.

 

“Sir, we better go back to camp now before is too late. I would like to find out more this evening.” Wow, I was commanding him.

 

“Sure. Sure. I will wait for you at the car park this evening.” He sounded excited liked a small kid given a candy and I liked that.

 

“Here… clear your tear.” I passed him a tissue.

 

The journey back to camp was silent except light music from the radio. I was a bit more relax & not leaning closed to the car door as previously.

 

 

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

To be continued...

 

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 6: Live & let… live

 

It was the longest day. I lost my heart & soul by making tons of mistakes on those paper works I processed.

 

“Alamak, Sir, few more mistakes found.” Chief clerk came to my office second time for amendments, errors were signature on the wrong column, entries with wrong dates etc. etc.

 

“Sorry, Madam (she was holding the rank of WO2). Sorry”

 

“Fortunately, CO was on external training; just be careful please, otherwise you will be lectured & probably with extra night duties.”

 

“Mme, I promise you no more mistakes. Any mistakes found just phone me up & I will walk over to your office.”

 

“Sir… remember what’s you had just said, okay! It is cumbersome to carry this bulky walkie-talkie around.” (Note: those days hand phone was not existence in Singapore yet)

 

“Mme, I am just curious why you have to carry this bulky stuff?”

 

“Sir, I am not so lucky like you, everyone will be looking for me any moment anytime, especially our CO.”

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

It was 515 pm. I walked to the car park next to HQ building. He was there waiting, much earlier than me. My heart was pumping hard & face was slightly flushed. He opened the passenger door.

 

“Sir, you don’t have to do this, people are watching.”

 

“Don’t worry, just once, Okay?”

 

“Do you like to have dinner with me?”

 

“Oh, no. My mom (in actual was Auntie Lily) will scold me for not taking the dinner. Just go to a quiet place with a cup of tea & talk, okay?”

 

“Yes, yes, sure. A quiet place for a cup of tea is fine with me.”

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

We ended up in a coffee house at Lion City Hotel along Tanjong Katong Road; I did not indicate but anyway was a good choice, quiet, cozy & most importantly it was before the prime dinner time.

 

Only one front table was occupied; we went right inside to a table that the chairs came with high back. I ordered tea & he had coffee.

 

“So, any more things you would want to tell me?” There was a moment of silent & I kicked starting it.

 

“Oh, yes, there are many things I thought of during the day & I want to let you know. Wait, let me re-organize myself. Sorry, hmm… how’s to start?”

 

“Don’t worry; I will wait till you are ready.”

 

“Okay...“ This guy seemed not to be his normal self. “You know after my graduation & went back to my routine army life; I didn’t get to see you daily in the morning. When I had my long weekend, I waited but didn’t get to see you either.”

 

“Yap, I had no class on Saturday except ECA.” I said softly.

 

“I thought my fantasy with you would just die off naturally, only in my dream.” He paused & took a sip of the coffee. “Your tea is getting cool.”

 

“Don’t bother. I want to go home earlier for the dinner. So please carry on.”

 

“Right, remember the first day when you were posted to this camp, I was shocked & could not believe. How could that be happening? Larry, you that young sweet demure student was standing right in front of me. My mind went blank the moment I shook your hand, it was so smooth, so delicate & so fair. I want to hold it forever.”

 

My face was reddened all the way; I looked down & unintentionally kept my hands close to my body. Never in my life, had someone talked to me just that, not even with Ling or Auntie Lily. I felt shy & edgy.

 

“I was under hypnosis. I hold on your hand for too long till alerted by the Chief Clerk. Don’t you remember?”

 

“No, I was not aware about this; I was busy trying hard to capture the ranks, names & related positions…. Hmm yes, you behaved strangely, the way you looked at me; also… the way you shook my hand. Do you know that your finger tickled my palm lightly, funny & weird?”

 

“Oh, is it really that I did it? Gosh, I fell embarrass for such behaviour.”

 

“Seriously I don’t expect to experience such weird or rather flirtatious behaviour from a senior officer.”

 

“Please accept my sincere apology,” he paused for a moment & continued, “Since your arrival, my life starts to have zest, reborn, recharge & re-vitalize.”

 

“U are kidding, I don’t believe. Not forgetting about that evening, I hate you.”

 

“I am deeply remorseful about what I had done on you. I just could not control… I was drunk that evening. For these few weeks, I am not myself. Every day & every night I kept thinking of you.” Tear started rolling on his eyes. I was taken aback, eeee… big man does not cry.

 

“Every evening I kneeled in front of your picture asking for forgiveness.” Tears rolled down from his face. He stood up suddenly & went to my side. 

 

“Hey, you, stands up, please don’t do this.” I re-composed myself & saw a waitress watching from afar.

 

“I don’t care, unless you accept my apology.” With his 2 hands on my lap, kneeled beside me & head on my lap he started weeping softly. I was traumatized, frozen; all these came so suddenly & just did not know what to react.

 

“Ok, ok, ok. I accept. Now stand up.”

 

“Promise?”

 

“Yes, yes, is a promise. So please stand up, please……”

 

He stood up & excused himself to the washroom, leaving me sitting alone. I saw 3 waitresses gossiping at far end looking to our direction. I felt like looking for a hole to hide, I asked for the check & walked to the hotel lobby quickly.

 

He rushed out from the coffee house, looking left & right & saw me at the lobby. “Thanks god, you are still around…. Sorry, sorry. I am supposed to foot the bill.”

 

“You never know it was embarrassing as the waitresses were gossiping inside.”

 

“Otherwise, you will never forgive me.” He whispered softly. I saw light smile on his face. Holy shit, I should not have let him off so lightly, I should torture him a bit longer.

 

“You big bad boy, remember, don’t you ever bully me again.” I hit his arm lightly.

 

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

To be continued...

 

Edited June 14, 2021 by Larry

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 6: Live & let… live

 

“Can I pick you up tomorrow morning here?” He asked me this question as I was about to open the car door while reaching Ling’s house.

 

“Come & see la. I don’t know.”

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

 

Life is a moment in space, When the dream is gone, It’s a lonelier place, I kiss the morning good-bye, But down inside you know, We never know why. The road is narrow and long, When eyes meet eyes, And the feeling is strong, I turn away from the wall, I stumble and fall, But I give you it all. With you eternally mine, In love there is, No measure of time, They planned it all at the start, That you and I, Live in each other’s heart...

 

I was drift by the lyrics, so nice, so touchy. It was by Barbra Streisand,

 

“………..” Someone was holding my shoulder. “Larry………”

 

“Oh, sorry, not noticing you are calling.”

 

“Hey, little sister, something is troubling you?”

 

“Yeah, big sister, if I tell you this, please don’t laugh at me, okay?”

 

“Aiyo… we are sisters, right? Come on, just tell me.”

 

I told Ling the incidents took place during the week, his tailing, his repent, his sleeplessness, his crying so on & so forth. Ling was stunned, & I could sense that he was listening intensely.

 

“How…? Sis….”

 

“What how?”

 

“Shall I allow him to pick me up tomorrow morning?”

 

“Sure la, free chauffeur, what is there to lose?”

 

“I don’t know. This is not correct, right? He is guy… so am I?”

 

“Listen, there is no pure black or pure white, there is grey in-between, so just do it if you are happy. After all life is short.”

 

“Ling, I don’t think you will be talking like this before.”

 

“Not anymore, since joining the university, I have a wider perspective. Tell you what, 2 of my lecturers are gays & they live together.” I was dumbfounded; I really had to give it a thought.

 

It was a long & sleepless night.

 

------------------------- End of Chapter 6 ---------------------

 

Edited February 24, 2021 by Larry

[Larry]

 

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 7: Woman (?) in love

 

It was 530 am. Damn, I overslept & would be late for the pick-up. I brushed, cleaned & changed into my uniform & left Ling’s house without taking breakfast. While locking the gate, a beam of light shinned from behind & the brown Cortina came beside me.

 

“Hi. Good morning. Larry”

 

“Sir, I am sorry, doesn’t know that you are waiting.”

 

“Well, I thought you did ask me to pick you. Come on in.”

 

“Oh, I forget about this, sorry, Sir.” I acted blur. No, never did I promise him anything, I just told him to come & see, this guy was then thick skinned, I thought.

 

“Taken your breakfast?"

 

“Not yet, Sir. I was sleepless & thus the overslept.”

 

“So am I, I did have a sleepless night. Good, then let go for a breakfast.”

 

“Okay, Sir.”

 

“You do have any preference?”

 

“You are the driver, so you decide.”

 

“Larry, I have one request.” Apart the songs that came from the car radio, we kept mum as the car moved towards the city area, and out of sudden he came with this remark.

 

“What?” Damn… this guy was up to no good, probably an indecent one, I thought.

 

“Please stop calling me Sir when we are not in the camp?”

 

“But….”

 

“You have a big sister & I want to be your big brother, alright, small sister?”

 

“No….” I paused as to think for a valid reason, “We are just ordinary friend, okay.” I hinted to him that I wanted to draw a line between us.

 

“Oh… ordinary friend” he sounded disappointed, “Okay, why don’t you address me using my last name, Kong?”

 

“Huh…”

 

“I take it that you have agreed to my proposal, okay. You are Larry & I am Kong, deal!” he said as he pointed towards me his last finger, “Come-on, Larry, I have only one hand to control the steering wheel.”

 

I lay my little finger with his quickly & reluctantly. Gosh, I never realize I gave in to him so easily, first by forgiving him the crime he committed, and now…, all were happened within 24 hours, I sighed as I stared blankly.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

He parked at the now defunct Capitol Theatre & went for the “Chwee Kway”.

 

“How about having chwee kway here?”

 

“Yes, is fine with me.”

 

“How many pieces you want to have?”

 

“3 pieces for me, okay.”

 

“Eat so little, no wonder so small build. And what do you like to have for drink? Is teh tarik okay with you?”

 

“Yes, please.”

 

The place was crowded with mainly office executives wearing long sleeve & tie probably working in Shenton Way area. We found & shared a table with another person which tucked in one corner.

 

“Wait; let me clean up the stool first.” This was my first breakfast with him. I could see his earnest to please me. Cleaning the stool, queuing for the “Chwee Kway” & the tarik…… Oh, please, do not over pamper me.

 

“Just sit tight & don’t do anything, okay. I am going to get the food & drinks.”

 

He came back shortly with the food & drinks, “Let tuck in, I hope you do enjoy this breakfast.”

 

“I will. Thanks, Sir.”

 

“What?”

 

“Thank you, Sir.”

 

“I am not Sir, I am Kong.”

 

“Ah…. Thank you, Kong.”

 

“Okay, let’s tuck in.”

 

“How come there is only one packet? You are not eating?”

 

“Well, we shared. You take 3 & I take 5.”

 

“Uh…”

 

“Yes, any problem?”

 

“I am not used to share food with another person.”

 

“I see. I can wait & will let you start first.” He tried to show his gentlemanly behaviour.

 

“Never mind, let’s start, so long as you keep it neat.” I reciprocated, so was I, I did have the same quality.

 

Using toothpicks, I saw him treading his pieces carefully as not to mess with the pieces I took, ha-ha, served him right, wanted to share food with me, fat hope, I felt happy furtively.

 

The “chwee Kway” breakfast was short but sweet. I felt blessed but at the same time felt awkward, somehow, I got the feeling he was treating me not as a guy. I hoped I was wrong.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

To be continued...

 

 

 

Edited June 14, 2021 by Larry

[Larry]

 

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 7: Woman (?) in love

 

So, the morning & evening car rides by this man continued for the next three weeks. We talked less during the journey, somehow his over enthusiasm & pampering bothered me, I felt stifling, breathless & pressurize that there would be impeding obligation.

 

I asked Ling what I should do & he replied, “Just tell him your feeling & thinking.”

 

“You sure are okay?”

 

“Why’s not? Just be sincere, honest & diplomatic.”

 

“Sis, I am confused. What do you mean by sincere, honest & diplomatic, catch-no-ball leh.”

 

“Ai-yo, so simple, just tells him what you like & dislike, okay.”

 

So, on this day, I walked to his car immediately after the evening staff parade.

 

“Hey, Larry, you are early.”

 

“Yes, I have thing to talk.”

 

“Okay, how about the café at Lion City Hotel?”

 

“No, no coffee & no tea. Just talk. Go to the seaside just outside the camp, will you?”

 

Very soon we reached the destination. As Kong off the car engine, I came out of the car & stood facing the sea front, the wind blew mildly as the sun was about going down to the horizon.

 

“Larry, I am waiting.” He stood beside me.

 

“I……” It was well overdue that at last I was about to trash out. But what were to bring to him & where were to start, my goodness? Damn-it, it was so unlike me.

 

“Larry, you are now making me nervous.”

 

“Nervous… you are the one making me nervous all this while. I had told you I don’t need a big brother & I am not your little sister, but your action spoke otherwise….”

 

“Larry, I don’t get you, can you be more specific?”

 

“I mean… uh,” I hesitated for a while searching for the right words, “I am not comfortable with the way you treated me, you know, we are guys & I am not your princess. Do you understand?”

 

“Look at me, Larry. Will you.”

 

“Ah-ha.” I turned my head but avoided looking at him.

 

“I came from a broken family, my parents divorced when I was very young & they have their own family since then.”

 

“Oh… it is terrible.”

 

“Yes, I was brought up by my paternal grandma, a retired hospital nurse, my one & only family member.”

 

“Your parents did not visit you at all?”

 

“They, huh… no, not at all, not even the re-union dinner at the Chinese New Year.” He was getting emotional as the veins on his neck were visible, “I ate alone with grandma.”

 

“It was pitiful, honestly.” I said with tears bloating in my ears, sad stories & movies always make me cry.

 

“The only linkage is the miserable monthly allowance from dad, that all. Fortunately, grandma continues to collect her monthly pension from the government.”

 

“Listen, don’t fret over the past, go get marriage & start a family. You will be a good husband & a good father.”

 

“Getting marriage? Not for me anymore.”

 

“Why?”

 

“The day when my girlfriend left me for an air force pilot, my heart went death.”

 

“You are successful in your career; how could this happen?”

 

“Not before this achievement, prior to that, I was just an NCO doing my national service. She gave me the reason that I was boring, I tell you what, is all bull shits. After 3 years of courtship since JC; she started to realize I was boring, ha-ha.” He laughed dryly.

 

“Then…”

 

“The next 10 years I lived & worked with overdrive, with only one objective, to be better than her new beau. I signed on regular, went for degree study under SAF scholarship, attended OCS & was the best cadet,” He paused for a deep thought, “I even went for the advance officer training & was the top trainee, all these for one objective, to prove her wrong.”

 

“She knew your achievement?”

 

“Yes, in one military parade, I got great satisfaction when his beau saluted to me. She was dumbstruck but I never looked back.”

 

“Forget about all past, you must learn to shed your resentment.”

 

“Yes, 10 years, it took this long to score a resounding triumph over that air force pilot. When this was over, I lost my steam & worked like a zombie as there was lack of motivation.”

 

“Go get a new girl.”

 

“No. Deep in my heart, I have you.”

 

“Why? Why’s me?”

 

“I don’t know, from the first time seeing you at the bus stop, your MIA (missing in action), till posting to this camp, this is god will. You bring back past memory & ignite sparks onto my life.”

 

“Kong, we are guys. There is no prospect between us in this conservative society. Moreover, I don’t know about you, I for sure do not fancy homosexuality. You get what I meant?”

 

“So am I, but you process a special quality that I am not able to resist.”

 

It was a dead lock situation, as there was a moment of silence. A tough nut to crack, I thought as playing with my fingers.

 

“Larry, thing can actually be not this complicated, if not because of that ugly incident…. you know. I hate & blame myself for such poor self-control, drunken caused by the alcohol just a despicable excuse, my integrity which I tried to establish all these years would be ruined if not because of your forgiveness, and I appreciate, honestly & sincerely.” He paused for continuation, “I could remain as a silent admirer, on the sidelines & watch you quietly. Anyways, for what was done was done & much to my dismay I can’t turn back the clock. So, at the end of the path hopefully I’ve come out learning from this whole experience.”

 

“I understand & accept your explanation.”

 

“Larry, I have a proposal.”

 

“What?”

 

“I beg you to let continue this morning & evening car rides, with you around, it is such a good time & a terrific escape from the realities of everyday living, in particular the office politics, it is not easy being the youngest battalion second in command as there are unsatisfying people watching from aside. And yes, may I add that becoming close with your breath & share the same air is so liberating…., seeing your shyness just make me feel so sexy…, seeing your smile feel so passionate & alive, and yes, your no worries about anything are so fascinating and ….”

 

“Enough, enough, stop please. I got all these goose-pimples.” I smiled; he smiled & we all smiled, for the first time between us. Putting aside was he a love idiot or not, he would be a lyrics composer, a poet or may be a literature teacher.

 

“I promise there is no sexual abuse verbal & physical. You have my blessing if you do find your dream girl.”

 

“Then what’s about you?”

 

“Don’t bother.”

 

What a stubborn idiot, this went through my mind.

 

That night, I got sleepless as the whole conversation kept replayed in my mind…

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

To be continued...

 

My favourite song, hope you like it.

 

 

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 7: Woman (?) in love

 

Year in, year out, there were military exercises which came with respective operation code name. For the seaside meeting between him & me, the 2 military personnel, although it was no military in nature, I gave it a code name, “Operation Ice Breaking” or “IB” in short.

 

I personally felt that it achieved 2 purposes; first I got to understand him better, his family, his upbringing, his love life & his strong fighting spirit, which came with my highest regard. Secondly & most importantly, I got to understand his non-invasive motive; my fear was dispelled which effectively brought down the mental barrier built against him. To put it in a nutshell, I thought IB was successful.

 

The morning & evening car rides with Kong continued, but the atmosphere changed gradually from reserved to at will, there were also occasional glancing to each other & smiling in return, I guessed sometime a smile was more effective than a thousand words. And subsequently the eye contacts, marking a quantum leaped forward on relationship between us.

 

“Can we go to Kim Keat for breakfast?”

 

“I thought we went there yesterday?”

 

“Yes, but I still want to go.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I didn’t get to order the laksa you took, it looked tasty.”

 

“Yeah, that is my only favourite food there, but I don’t wish to have it 2 days in a row.”

 

“Go la, eat one more time okay.”

 

“Okay la, okay la, what choice do I have.”

 

He-he, see, I was the winner; I became chatty & dictated the choice, and he always gave in.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

“Larry, I notice that you smiled more nowadays.” He said this on one evening as we were heading home.

 

“Ah-ha, I would say is all because of IB.”

 

“Wait a minute, you mentioned about Ivy a couple of time. Who is this Ivy actually? Newly found lady friend?”

 

“May be, is secret okay.” Ha-ha, IB against Ivy, well, this was a good one, I acted blur as to fool him.

 

“If she does bring you happiness, you do have my blessing.” I could sense there was a tinge of bitterness in his voice.

 

IB vs. Ivy, the myth was explained to him about 2 months later in one steamy private moment. The clarification was redundant as we already went into serious relationship.

 

“Little rascal, you & your pretend,” he smiled as he squeezed my arm lightly, “don’t you dare to fool me again?”

 

"Who ask you to be so simple minded?"

 

"Promise me you will not do this again, as it will hurt & break my heart."

 

“What was your feeling at that moment?”

 

“I was happy for you, but at the same time felt so jealous against this fictitious Ivy with a bit of sadness.”

 

"He-he..."

 

"Still dare to laugh, see how I am going to deal with you?"

 

"Catch me if you can." I ran as to seek cover, I knew he would tickle me, as he had thoroughly understood all my sensitive parts.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

To be continued...

 

 

 

Edited April 18, 2021 by Larry

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 7: Woman (?) in love

 

“Hey, Larry, I will not be around the next 2 weeks.”

 

“Ahem, going away for 2 weeks?”

 

“Yes, training in Taiwan.”

 

“Okay la, good lo… can visit the barber girls during the R&R (day off granted for rest & relax, usually at end of exercise / training), right?”

 

“No, I wouldn’t do that. I swear.”

 

“You don’t have to swear in front of me. I am not your’ anyone.” Realizing the harshness on my reply, I asked immediately, “So what you will be doing during those days?”

 

“Go shopping.”

 

“Shopping?”

 

“Yes, to look for souvenirs. Hey, by the way, what do you like to have?”

 

“No, I don’t want, don’t waste your time & money; you never know what I like.” Dumb goose! How could he ask this question? It was just embarrassed to answer. Too expensive might reflect my greediness, whereas too cheap might underestimate his buying power.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

So, he was off for a 2 week-training in Taiwan, I decided to stay in-camp for all week days as to avoid the hassle in traveling.

 

On first evening, following the past practice those days before staying out, I changed into PT kit after the staff parade planning to jog around the camp premises. As usual, there were foreseeable lustrous looks coming from the ladies along the way, somehow their stares failed to interest me; I just didn’t get the kicks that previously I used to have. It was strange, strange & strange.

 

Nearing the woman quarter, the stares became so unbearable that I blushed & looked down at the floor as I ran past.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

It was hot & humid in the room even with the running standing fan & opened door, I just could not concentrate on my reading, an awful thought had just struck me…… masturbation.

 

Masturbation, a taboo in the 70s’ & 80s’ which was not to be talked, mentioned or discussed. I knew nothing about this till one day in JC1 year-end holiday. That day I responded to a classified advert & visited a health centre in Great Eastern Hotel.

 

I kept quiet throughout the whole massage process, in a complete daze & shy about my naked body being manipulated by a masseuse.

 

“You want special?”

 

“What? No, don’t want.” I said no as I did not understand what was special.

 

“Come la, young man, I guarantee you full satisfaction.”

 

“Is it costly?”

 

“Is ten dollars only, okay?”

 

“Okay…” I agreed reluctantly.

 

After washing her hands, she came back to the massage bed. The towel which covered my lower part was lifted as her cold hands touched my we-we.

 

The foreskin was pushed down exposing the head, almost immediately my we-we was raging hard & throbbing. I was not expecting my little we-we to "explode" so violently & it was quite a shock.

 

“Wows, you’re so fast. You’re virgin boy?” I did not answer, truly this would be my first time by a stranger, in particular by a female.

 

After that day, at wee hours in my own room, I had done a great deal of self-exploration, slowly I did figure out how to stroke myself & fondle my nipples at the same time into ejaculation. My orgasms were getting more intense when hot babes were added onto my visualization. I masturbated frequently since then. But it is the memory of that first orgasm that is the most vivid for me.

 

This would be my first doing inside the camp. Ensuring the door was closed tight, I off the lights & strip to the buff. I lied on the bed & prepared to start the ritual. Well, I had decided to use Susan, the clerk from the HQ in today game.

 

Very soon I got the erection; all things went fine as I worked towards the release. Strangely, the image changed from Susan to him & vice versa, just liked kid playing with the remote control switching in-between channel 5 & 8.

 

Susan…. Him…. Susan…. Him…. Susan…. Him…. Him…. Susan…. Him…. Him…. Him… I was fighting hard to eradicate his image….

 

I was curious…. My god! I thought. What was happening to me? I was sweating profusely…. but I didn't ejaculate.

 

Okay, concentrate…. Concentrate…. Stayed focus, I told myself but half an hour had passed….

 

Okay, okay, surrendered, I surrendered.... I let lose my mind control…. His images were roaming loose in my mind…. I shook relentlessly & was breathing hard, this was intense…. I took another deep breath & rubbed my nipples lightly which sent me over the edge…. I moaned softly.... shaking un-controllably I stroke myself to orgasm.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x 

To be continued...

 

 

 

Edited April 18, 2021 by Larry

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 7: Woman (?) in love

 

Have you ever missed someone & felt terrible?

 

I awoke in the small hours; my mind was in trance as the question kept pounding me, what had gone wrong with me recently? Ever since he gone for training, I kept thinking of him. He was the intruder, he violated my virginity, my body & here I thought of him…. Yeah, I did forgive him, but not to the extent of missing him.... Damn….

 

Lying on my bed, I recalled that last evening we were out together before his flying off.

 

“I am flying off tomorrow morning & away for 2 weeks training; mind to spend some time with me this evening?” He made the request along the way.

 

“What’s for?” Beneath my apparent nonchalance I was nervous & excited. Since he announced to me on his impending training, I longed for this request actually, which was strange & unusual, I could not explain.

 

“Just talk. Nothing special, please…” Pleadingly he was nervous too, ha-ha…

 

“Okay, just a short one. I need to go back for dinner.” See, I was a good actor indeed, yeah? 

 

Sitting at the breakwater of East Coast Park, with the sun setting below the horizon; he talked about everything, his dreams, plans & future. He talked & talked & I listened, intensely, quietly, from broad daylight, dusk till under the stars, in-between glaring & smiling was exchange.

 

“Kong, I appreciate the time spent with you this evening, but why are you telling me all these?”

 

“Because part of my life I have you.”

 

I was completely dumbfounded by his straightforwardness, I didn’t know what was to reply appropriately, but instead I said, “Let’s go back, I am hungry.” Truly, Auntie Lily grumbled at me on my late return.

 

Missing someone was terrible but at the same time feeling sweet. On the first Friday evening, I had my long week end. After dinner at home, I cycled & sat on the same spot at the breakwater wondering if he meant anything to me, thinking dearly about his caring & indulged in the feeling of loving & caring from him.

 

That very evening he sweet-talked me onto divulging the phone numbers for both mine & Ling home, he said he would call me in the evenings when time permitted. And because of this I rushed to the ringing phone hoping that it was him from Taiwan after coming back from the breakwater.

 

Looking out of the window - gosh, 9 more days to go –, impossibly hoping that he would surprise me by appearing at the front gate. Sitting in front of the television but thinking of him, not knowing the content of my favourite show.

 

I was getting so freaking frustrated as it exposed me to loneliness, I didn’t know what to do, and it was so unbelievable to me why did I want him for? Being lonely, I knew that there was actually a feeling known as emptiness.

 

Did I need to tell him I dreamt about him & let him knew? At the same time, ask if he miss me?

 

Was this falling in love or not? I was not sure... would someone tell me?

 

------------------------- End of Chapter 7 ---------------------

 

 

 

Edited June 14, 2021 by Larry

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 8: Jennifer met Kong, Kong met Jennifer

 

Monday morning, the day that Kong would be back from Taiwan.

 

It was a wakeful night spent in wild thinking…. What would be his actual timing of return, morning or afternoon? …. Would he take a day off today? Or would he report to work today? Was he still on the air plane or already touch down? etc, etc…. So many questions pondering me but one thing was for sure, i.e. I longed to see him. The feeling was just like a newlywed wife waiting for the return of her fisherman hubby from the rough ocean, damn……

 

Listlessly I had a wash & brush up, took my breakfast, got dressed & prepared to walk to the pick-up point. As I latch opened the metal gate next to the fencing, I saw someone seated on the concrete parapet just outside the gate. Oh no, could this be him? The listless mood was dissipated almost immediately.

 

“Good morning, Larry.”

 

“Wows, you are early. Came back last night?”

 

“That’s right.”

 

“Why not get a day off & sleep a bit longer?”

 

“I was sleepless.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I can’t wait to see you.”

 

“Here come again, sweet-talk.”

 

“No, is real. How’s about you? Did you miss me?”

 

“No, never, not even a single bit.” I wanted to tell I did miss him too but I could not cross that hurdle.

 

“Cold blooded...”

 

“Aren’t we going for breakfast?” fearing that the flirtation between us could be heard by neighbours passed by, I urged him to go into the car.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

We got into the car and I saw that he drove towards Katong; I had no clue where we were going, perhaps a new eatery not known to me. After a short drive, we ended up in a car park facing the sea.

 

“Aren’t we going for breakfast?”

 

“Shih…. we can have it in camp.”

 

“You have thing to talk?”

 

“Not that, but I have things for you. Remember I told you about the souvenir, I can’t wait to give to you now.” He said as he turned around & lifted up an Ali-baba bag.

 

I asked if it was for me & if I could open it. He smiled & said “Yes, I have waited for the past 2 days to give it to you.”

 

“Wows, let me guess. Can it be a teddy bear?” Judging the size of the bag, I make the wild guess.

 

“No, there are about 10 over cute souvenirs inside there.”

 

“All’s for me? I can’t be so greedy to have all. What’s about your friends?”

 

“Oh, don’t worry. My friends got theirs from my previous trips. This time it is specially for you.”

 

“Thanks very much. May I open up one of them?”

 

“You can bring home & slowly unwrap them one by one. Here I have a special one for you… excuse me…” he said as he bent towards the glove compartment, “Here, this one you may open now.”

 

He handed me a pink envelop. I opened it to find a card printed with a Chinese calligraphy quote inside. I read silently,

 

不在乎天長地久, 只在乎曾經擁有

Larry,

I’m so glad to know you. Sincerely yours,

Kong

 

Translation: It doesn’t matter whether something can last as long as the sky & the earth. What really matters is whether it has ever belonged to you.

 

I was thinking to myself how beautifully this written slogan was. But I just wanted to cry too. It was a sinful deed in-between two males, why was he so idiotic, so stubborn, I froze & heaving a sigh of sadness…

 

I dropped the card, looked at him as he smiled nervously, “You’re so silly.”, said I.

 

He, stuttering nervously, “I found this card in a bookshop…. I am sorry how this was meant to be…. may I have it back?”

 

“No, I am keeping the card, okay?”

 

He placed his hands over mine & said, "Larry, you make me the happiest man in the world."

 

“Is going to be late, let’s go back to camp now.”

 

Along the way, the song “You were always on my mind” was played on the radio, 

 

I listened intensely & went into deep thought.

 

Maybe I didn't treat you, Quite as good as I should have. Maybe I didn't love you, Quite as often as I could have. Little things I should have said and done, I just never took the time... Maybe I didn't hold you, All those lonely, lonely times. And I guess I never told you, I'm so happy that you're mine. If I make you feel second best, Girl, I'm so sorry I was blind... Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died, Give me, give me one more chance, To keep you satisfied, satisfied,,, You were always on my mind (You are always on my mind), You were always on my mind, You were always on my mind... 

 

 

 

I didn’t know how much he meant to me, but I was certain our relationship meant a great deal to him. This was a terrible fate, like taken off my sunglasses, the flash of the sunlight had blurred my vision. This was only the beginning, I was to figure this out at 21 years old, would there be future for us????

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x 

To be continued ……………

 

Years later, I came across a commercial with the same slogan, 

 

 

Edited June 14, 2021 by Larry

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 8: Jennifer met Kong, Kong met Jennifer

 

"Kong, I have a long weekend; you don’t have to pick me up tomorrow morning.” I initiated the conversation on the evening journey.

 

“Okay.”

 

“Do you have any program tomorrow (Saturday) night?”

 

“Well, as usual tennis game in the late afternoon, then follow by drinking session with the tennis kakis. Why? Are you asking me out? In that case I will skip the tennis game.”

 

“Just meet for coffee in the evening, plain simple, is it okay with you?”

 

“Surely, it is my honour. Where do you want to meet?”

 

“The café next to Tay Buan Guan Supermarket, 8 pm. Oh, yeah, almost forgotten, there is another guest coming.”

 

“What, another guest? I thought is only two of us?”

 

“No. I invited my long-time lady friend too.”

 

“Why? Match mates me with your lady friend?”

 

“Just meet, okay, for one-time sake. Will you?”

 

"Before you say further, the answer is no!" Kong replied in what I considered was a stern voice.

 

"What do you mean by saying no?" I asked in an irritated voice. "Give yourself a chance, give me a chance & give everybody a chance."

 

“Give you a chance? What’s chance? I will walk away when you find your love one; that promise still stands. Did I exert pressure over you to accept me, do I? So why doing this, shoving me to another person?” At the red-light junction, he sat backwards, looking straight with 2 hands on the steering wheel.

 

“You sure you will never fall for another boy-girl relationship? If you are so determined, you shall have no fear, right? Why so anti-social?”

 

“I……”

 

“I promise you I will not do anything funny, just be yourself. If you do feel uncomfortable, you can walk away, okay, no hard feeling.”

 

“No, I will not do this to embarrass you….”

 

“So? Are you coming or not?”

 

“Okay, I’ll be there.”

 

“As gentleman, please be earlier than us, okay. I’ll come with her together.”

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

To be continued ……………

 

 

 

Edited June 14, 2021 by Larry

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 8: Jennifer met Kong, Kong met Jennifer

 

As I opened the car door & about to step out of the car, Kong asked, “Larry, since you have your long weekend, can we meet up after your dinner?”

 

“Can’t, I have things to do.”

 

“Like that…. Okay loh. No program this evening so boring.”

 

“Aiya, watch TV or sleep early la. Be a good boy, okay.” Ouch, unknowingly, the term “good boy” was used.

 

“Okay loh, mommy.”

 

“Hey, I am not mommy.”

 

“But I am your good boy, right?”

 

“Ya la. Ya la, good boy, so petty.” I paused for continuation, “And yes, by the way her name is Jennifer, remember it, okay.”

 

“Jennifer…, hmm… Nice name.”

 

“Nice or not that’s not important, make sure you turn up & be early. Don’t disappoint me, okay?”

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

After dinner, without taking shower, I changed into polo-T & short & cycled to Parkway Parade. Yeah, last minute shopping, it was already 8 pm, I got to hurry before most shops closed at around 930 pm.

 

Standing at centre of the mall & on a flurry of alarm, I scanned haphazardly on mannequins at the displayed windows from basement & up to the top floor, I just could not find the piece desired. Desperately, I went back down to the basement one more time, please, please, please, time was running out, I must stay focus & kept myself cool.

 

Bull’s-eye, the frantic search stopped at a small boutique which tucked in one blind corner, that right, a pink half-length full sleeve floral with China collar.

 

I was sweating all over & I felt that my head was cracking too. God damn bloody migraine! Oh no, I needed 2 pills of Panadol Extra as soon as possible.

 

Since young, duress stress by all forms of frenetic activity would cause migraine & was now happened at the wrong moment. I bit the bullet & walked in, I had to finish the job before the shop closed.

 

“Sir, may I help you?” A young sales girl came over & asked.

 

“How much it cost?” I pointed to the piece on display.

 

“Is about …(forgotten). Are you buying it as a gift?”

 

“Yes, is for my girlfriend’s birthday gift.” Frequently used as it flew conveniently.

 

“You know her size?”

 

“She can use my t-shirt & is about the same height.” Another frequently used answer.

 

She looked at me & said, “A small size of 5 or so, it will be better for her to come for fitting.”

 

“No, I can’t. It is a gift & I need it by tomorrow.”

 

“Tell you what, so long as the label is not removed. Bring with the receipt, your girlfriend can get an exchange within 3 days from today.”

 

I was pleased with her service & bought a pair of clipped ear-ring to match the piece.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x 

To be continued ……………

 

 

Edited June 14, 2021 by Larry

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 8: Jennifer met Kong, Kong met Jennifer

 

The night out did not end at Parkway Parade, withstanding the onslaught of migraine, I cycled to Katong Jackie Bowl (defunct, location is now Ocean Park Condominium, East Coast Road), a thirty minutes journey to & fro as to retrieve my haversack from the locker.

 

I needed to collect it this evening, as it carried essential stuff required for tomorrow event. If to collect it tomorrow, I would run short of time as the bowling alley opened its door after 12 noon.

 

I was lucky, upon reaching home, lights were all off, anyhow it was late in the evening, dad, mom & younger sister already went to bed. Sneakily into my room as I hided the haversack & shopping bag under the bed.

 

With a can of Coke, I swallowed down 2 Panadol Extra. Till this day, I always believe that taking the gassy drink same time with any tablets will help to dissolve the pill faster & bring rapid medical result; somehow mom would insist me to take with plain water whenever she was around.

 

I took a quick shower without wetting my hairs & retired to bed quickly, anticipating a long day tomorrow, I needed to have enough sleep.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

“Son, we are going to the shop, don’t over slept & remember to eat your breakfast.” Mom came to my room & spoke loudly.

 

“Okay mom, so long winded.” It was six thirty in the morning; I was wide awake but pretend to sleep, until I was sure dad, mom & younger sister were out of the house.

 

Out from the bed, I pulled out the haversack & shopping bag hided under it.

 

“I haven't done this for so long.” That right, 3 months had lapsed since the last time in the army camp when my pink night gown spotted by Kong during his impromptu spot check resulted the exodus of this stuff back to Jackie Bowl.

 

Out of the shopping bag, I ran my fingers over the pink half-length piece full sleeve floral with Chinese collar, “I hope it fits me.”

 

With the door locked & window blinds closed, I stood up & shimmied out of my t-shirt & short leaving only the underwear, eagerly & expectantly finally slipped into the piece & zipped up. Standing in front of the full-length mirror, turning around, I smiled with a sign of relief; clinging to the curves of my body, it was extremely beautiful, skillfully done with the exquisite China buttons at the side slits.

 

The pink dress was removed, folded & packed carefully back to the shopping bag. Proceeding unzipped the haversack & laid all contents on the bed, I tossed amongst them looking for stuff go along well with the pink dress as the collection were rather limited.

 

The results were white shoes with 2” stiletto heels leaving the black one behind, lacy black panty & bra with padding, new pair of skin toned stockings, straight fringe China doll’ hair wig leaving the shoulder length one behind & lastly the one & only black handbag carrying basic cosmetics, costume jewellery together with clipped ear-rings bought last night, bottle of polish remover, bale of cotton & a pair of lady-frame spectacles.

 

“It's good to know I've finally been given the perfect opportunity to do this.” I packed the rest of items not required back to the haversack & set aside under the bed.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x 

To be continued ……………

 

 

Edited June 14, 2021 by Larry

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 8: Jennifer met Kong, Kong met Jennifer

 

All stuff needed were put into a huge shopping bag, in addition to the small one which contained the pink dress.

 

I checked the clock & found that it was already ten thirty. Ouch! Time flew, I better moved fast as it had taken three over hours doing these fitting & selection.

 

I went into the bathroom & stood under the hand shower, I had myself suds up. I was blessed with smooth femme features, baby face as Aunty Lily had say with no sign of a beard, moustache & sideburns. Anyway, going through the motion, I took a razor & shaved my legs & armpits.

 

From there I moved to mom’ bedroom, opening up her dressing table & searched for the bottle of red nail polish. Sitting in front of my desk, I had my nails done; giving a shiny tint to the finger-nails & toe-nails even though they were short.

 

Using the hair dryer, I blew dry the varnish. Aw… I felt burning heat on my last finger as the dryer stayed stationary over too long. Certain that the finger-nails were dried thoroughly, I took a heavy breakfast (lunch in actual fact) as the clock shown one thirty. The meal was heavy as there would be no food nor drink for the next six over hours.

 

It was exhilarating, & I hadn't even left the house yet. “But today, I'm going to do something especially daring.” I quickly put on my polo-t, jean, with a baseball cap & sport shoes before silently slipping out the metal gate & into the sunny afternoon carrying the two shopping bags.

 

Strayed away from the usual paths I'd walk, not wanting to get meet any familiar faces as my finger-nails were done in red.

 

At the road junction, I took a taxi heading towards the beauty salon at Katong Shopping Centre as per plan. The appointment time was three in the afternoon.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

Although this was not my first trip, somehow my heart was in my throat as I walked up to the beauty salon. This was one Saturday afternoon that was going to be decidedly different.

 

“Good afternoon.” I stood at the door shyly. The plan was simple; I called the lady boss Nancy up on Friday yesterday morning after obtaining the approval of long weekend from my superior.

 

“Hello, may I talk to Nancy?” calling out from my office with her business card in sight.

 

“Yes, you are?”

 

“Oh, I came to your shop about two & a half years ago; I know is a bit too long for you to remember.”

 

“I still don’t get you.”

 

“Remember there was this young chap who came here & did a makeover by you? Remember I wore a black mini skirt? Can you remember?” I spoke desperately as I worried that she would take this as a prank call & discontinue the communication.

 

“Oh, yes, yes, I can remember, you were so shy during the makeover.”

 

“I need a favour from you again this time. I have a fancy dress party tomorrow night; can you help me up again?”

 

“Tomorrow…. why so last minute?”

 

“I am sorry, can you help please?”

 

“Okay… let see….” she paused as I waited desperately, please, please said yes, “Okay, there is a last-minute cancellation, and can you come at three o’clock afternoon?”

 

“Sure. Sure. Sure. Thanks a lot.”

 

“I see you tomorrow at three, okay.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x 

To be continued ……………

 

 

Edited June 22, 2021 by Larry

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 8: Jennifer met Kong, Kong met Jennifer

 

“A… hi, you are right on time. Come, come to the room.” Lady boss Nancy spoke as she led me towards the treatment room.

 

"The fancy dress party is at eight this evening, do you think three hours is sufficient? I need to leave the shop by six." I deliberately used fancy dress party to conceal my cross dress fetish.

 

"Please sit down." she said as I settled down in an armchair fronting the vanity table, “Okay, please show me the dress you bring along.”

 

I handed her the smaller shopping bag. She un-wrapped the plastic cover & brought out the pink dress. She hung the dress on a clothes-hanger, for several minutes, she paced around me, biting her lower lip & murmured softly, "hmm… pink dress." as she ran her fingers through my hairs lifting up the fringe a couple of times.

 

“You bring your wig?”

 

“Yes.” I spoke while taking out the wig from the huge shopping bag.

 

She took over the wig & placed it on top of a mannequin, “The wig is rather messy, also it will look better with some wave & large curls to it.”

 

“Like that, so how?”

 

“Well, there is a hair salon next door.”

 

“Will it be costly?”

 

“No lah, just about ten bucks, is it alright with you?” she said as I nodded my head feverishly, so long as the cost was not much excessive, I would agree.

 

"I am bringing the wig over to the hair salon; meanwhile, to save time gets change now.” she left & closed the door.

 

I got change quickly, putting on the set of black panties & bra with padding, skinned toned stockings, and the pink dress was a perfect fit, lastly the white shoes with stiletto heels.

 

As I whirled around the room examining myself on the mirror, Nancy opened the door slightly, “Are you ready?” mentally unprepared, I almost fell off my heels.

 

“Arr… I need five more minutes.” I spoke as busily fold & packed my male clothing, cap & sport shoes all onto the huge shopping bag. When these were done, I sat at the armchair, consciously keeping my knees together. I looked around the treatment room & saw the reflection of my legs in the side wall mirror.

 

“Young man, I am coming in now, okay.” I sighed with relief when Nancy came in.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

My hairs were combed up-back & keeping in place by a hair-net which used to enclose the wig that I brought along.

 

“Your eyebrows need some tidy up.”

 

“Just trim a bit, okay?”

 

“Don’t worry, now close your eyes & leave the work to the professional.”

 

There was a momentarily silence as she worked on me up close & personal with her noticeable sound of breathing, “Take a look.” Nancy handed me a hand-carried mirror, up to this point; I hadn't had much chance to see what had been done to my eyebrows.

 

“Gosh, so thin….” Wows, close to fifty percent of the brows were plucked & trimmed in an arch shape, what could I said, just accepted the fact, I sighed softly.

 

Next, she did my makeup in light tones, carefully applied some mascara, purple eye shadow, strokes of blusher & light pink lipstick etc. & etc., meanwhile the door was opened enter her assistant bringing in the wig.

 

She finished putting up the wig with ample used of hairpins, making a final inspection fluffing the wig with a hair dryer. After that she left the treatment room allowing me time to tidy up the rest.

 

With the lady-frame spectacle, I took a good look at myself in the mirror, pleased to see that everything fit so nicely. I put on the clip-on earrings that purchased last night & added bracelets onto my right wrist & ankle.

 

Dropping in my wallet & house keys to the pre-stuff black handbag, with the huge shopping bag, I stepped out of the treatment room. Being a girl was definitely a lot more work.

 

At the cash register, “Nancy, is it okay?” I was all dolled up, I thought I looked rather pretty, but some-how I asked for her opinion.

 

She motioned for me to stand in front of the mirror, “Stand straight & no hunchback.” she paused, “And… smile a little, alright.”

 

“Yes.” I replied with a light smile.

 

“That’s better. I think the black handbag you are carrying now doesn’t match.”

 

“But this is my one & only bag….”

 

“Wait for me, maybe I can get you something.” she walked into the other treatment room & came back with a flora white cosmetic bag, "Here, use this. Also, I lend you this pearl necklace that would go just perfect with your outfit."

 

"I will return the bag & necklace tomorrow. Thanks for the wonderful job, I really appreciate it." I replied softly as she helped to put up the necklace.

 

“Not at all, your features are delicate, I just emphasized them. Young girl, now go & enjoy the evening.” Oh my, my, young girl, I loved it.

 

"And now, I'm ready to face the world." I told my reflection with a smile.

 

Till this day, Nancy is one of my regular beauticians besides Ginger, a post-ops sister who worked for MAC Cosmetics as its creative beautician.

 

I was impressed with Nancy skill & customer service; of course, it came with a fair bit of price. Strangely, I never trust my own makeup though I went through the course.

 

I believe she know about my cross-dress fetish but she never asks.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x 

To be continued ……………

 

 

 

Edited June 22, 2021 by Larry

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 8: Jennifer met Kong, Kong met Jennifer

 

It was six thirty in the evening, a one & a half hours before the scheduled time, sufficient for me to pay a trip to the bowling alley & then to the appointment I had made with Kong. I took a cab to Katong Jackie Bowl as to deposit the huge shopping bag which carried mainly my male clothing & other items.

 

Although it was self-service & interaction with the counter staff was not required as all locker holders came with their own keys & locks, some-how I used the side entrance bypassing the front counter, it reflected my psychological instability & I was not mentally ready to face the real world.

 

That right, Nancy the beautician could claim that I looked genuine, she ought to make that claim as she was the one did my makeover, I thought. But what were about the rest? Would I fail miserably & “pucha lobang”?

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

After dropping the stuff onto the locker, again I took a cab heading towards East Coast Road Tay Buan Guan Supermarket. Oh, how horrible! Three taxi trips within a day….

 

Inside the cab, I initiated a pager communication with him, it was my first attempt ever since he gave me his number voluntarily, in spite of this, I did not divulge mine to him & lied to him that I did not have one.

 

To cover the lie, I got to put the pager on vibrator mode whenever he was around, and I could not response to it whence he was around, I guessed it was the price to pay for lying.

 

“Hi this is Larry, where r u?” sent.

 

“Café. How about u?” received.

 

“In taxi w/ Jennifer. Traffic jam. Sorry.” sent.

 

“Never mind, is ok.” received.

 

"Wait for us, ok." sent.

 

"Sure." received.

 

“Is it crowded? Give me table # & your shirt colour.” sent.

 

“Moderate, table #8 & white polo-T.” received after a short wait, probably for him to check out the table #.

 

“Thanks, see you soon. Roger, out.” sent.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x 

To be continued ……………

 

 

 

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 8: Jennifer met Kong, Kong met Jennifer

 

The Golden Café, a café I had visited several times & briefly knew its layout. Located on second floor above the supermarket, it was popular among fellow Maris Stella school mates in the 70’s till its redevelopment into a condominium. It had two staircases, one to the front entrance & the other one at the back exit adjoining the car park fronting the supermarket.

 

Came out from the taxi, walked pass the long aisle, supermarket & car park; I deliberately used the back staircase leading to the café back door. As I headed towards it, I noticed a waiter standing next to the door. Would he tell me to go around to the front? My heart skipped a beat.

 

"May I help you, miss?” he said as he held the door open for me.

 

I breathed a sigh of relief & responded with a smile, “Thanks. I am looking for table # 8; my friend is waiting in there.”

 

“Yes, this way please.” as I followed behind him, I became aware of the clicking sound my high heels were making on the marble floor.

 

As we walked towards the far end, I saw the white shirt facing us, “Excuse me, I already saw him, I can find my way there.”

 

“Okay, miss, hope you have a wonderful evening.” he replied & left.

 

"Okay Jennifer. It's show time."

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

“Hi. Are you Kong?” I said as I stood in front of him.

 

“Yes, I am Kong. You are…. Jennifer?” he replied as he stood up.

 

“Yes.”

 

"Please to meet you!" He hadn't taken his eyes off me since the moment I stood in front of him.

 

"It's nice to meet you too." Fiddling with the hem of my pink dress, I responded nervously in the most feminine voice I could manage.

 

“Where is Larry?”

 

“May I sit down first?”

 

“Oh. Sorry. Please have a seat.”

 

“Thanks, Larry is not coming.” I spoke as both of us got seated.

 

“He is not coming? Damn… Ouch, sorry, by the way…. you look so… familiar…” he paused for several seconds, looking me up intensely, "Holy shit!" he finally managed to say as he leaned towards me, "Larry, are you Larry?”

 

"Hmm…." My face went redden as I tilted my head to the side.

 

Looking at me like I was an alien, Kong said, "You're so pretty, so cute. This is just perfect!"

 

“Cut off all these fanciful phrases, now you see the real me, you can walk away.”

 

“What?”

 

I glanced over my shoulder to see the startled look on his face, “I said you can go now.” I raised my tone a few more decibel.

 

“Why?”

 

“I thought you never fall for opposite sex anymore?” I answered nervously while turning my head to face him.

 

“Yes, but not you.”

 

“Why? I don’t understand & I’m confused.”

 

“I don’t care you are a guy or girl, Larry or Jennifer, so long is you, I want to be with you.”

 

“Even me as a girl, you mean it?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“But I am not a real girl; I’m neither here nor there. I am a faggot, an ‘akua’ so to speak.”

 

“Please, please don’t degrade yourself. It pains me dearly.”

 

“Oh yeah, it pains you. Wait till you get those degradable remarks behind your back. Please wake up, this is a real world.”

 

“Who does ever dare to do this on you, they better watch my fist.”

 

“Oh yeah, how many times you can fight against? Listen to me, just stand up & go.”

 

“You can’t do this to me, you’re so cruel.”

 

“Please, please don’t cry. Here… take the tissue.” I saw tears flowing down his cheeks, oh dear, dear.

 

The conversation was interrupted as a waitress came to the table, “Miss, may I take your order?”

 

“Just give me a pot of earl grey tea, please.” I answered rapidly without looking at the menu as to send her away quickly.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x 

To be continued ……………

 

 

 

Edited July 12, 2021 by Larry

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 8: Jennifer met Kong, Kong met Jennifer

 

While the waitress walking away after taking down my order, there was a momentarily silent in-between, Kong appeared distracted & lost in thought.

 

“So… what do you want from me?” I asked as to break the deadlock.

 

“I want nothing. Just let me to be your closed confidant.”

 

“Closed confidant?”

 

“Yes, from the day seeing you at the bus stop, your smile captured me & I dreamt about to be your closed confidant.”

 

“What kind of confidant you are talking about?”

 

“When you in guy mode, I be your buddy & in girl mode, be your boyfriend.”

 

“Be your girlfriend? Come on; don’t be ridiculous, you think people can be fooled so easily?”

 

“Yes, why’s not?” Your look is flawless, extremely convincing.”

 

“Oh yeah, don’t be over confidence. Listen, no matter how well my cross dressing is, there will be visible differences just waiting to be exposed by someone who are observant.”

 

“No, you are over cautious; I don’t see any tell-tale sign.”

 

“You can’t be so complacent. It is difficult for the society to accept a cross dresser. Once pucha lobang, you got to know the negativity that people can display, understand?”

 

Our conversation was again disrupted as the waitress brought me the tea.

 

“You have good military career; a scholar & good chance to be the next commanding officer. Are you listening?”

 

“I am not listening, what are these to do with going after you? I worked hard attaining this military achievement as to get even with my ex, but then after I had no motivation & lived like a zombie, not till your posting to this camp, my life was rekindled or else I didn’t know how I was going to carry on.”

 

“I will be blamed on ruining your career, don’t you understand? The army is against homosexuality.”

 

“No one can blame this on you, it is solely my decision.”

 

“Look, there is no prospect between us.”

 

“That’s nonsense. Go to the west, migrate to Australia, or to a place no one know us.”

 

“Leaving behind your family & friends?”

 

“Except my dearest grandma, the rest I don’t really care.” he paused for a moment & continue, “Larry, please give me a chance to proof that I am worthy for your love, will you?” his voice cracked as he said.

 

“I….” I searched for excuse, “You will take good care of me?”

 

“Definitely, I won’t let you get wet in the rain; I will do all I can to make your life as smooth as possible.”

 

“No regret!”

 

“Yes, honest to god, I swear.”

 

“I got many bad habits.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Love me forever?”

 

“Yes, you will be my entire life, and everything I do, I do for you.’

 

“Not taking retaliation on any negative remarks make behind us?”

 

“I promise to keep my cool.”

 

“Will you?” a tough nut not easily to be cracked open, I sighed. Avoiding his pleading eyes, I sat twiddling my thumbs searching for more excuses to reject him, what next? What…?

 

"Larry, would you mind answering a question for me?"

 

“Yes?”

 

He stood up, came over & squatted beside me, “What refraining you to make the next move?”

 

I faltered for a moment struggling to contain my emotions, yes; I did like him, unbelievable. “Because it is a sin, immoral & not tolerable by public perception.”

 

“Be yourself, go by your feeling & do not succumb to the pressure of the society.” he said as he was holding my left hand.

 

It was such a surprise that I was shocked into silence, my heart was about to explode. I was cornered, wasn’t this my intention in setting up this meeting. Okay, okay, I placed my bet…., a bet that would ultimately alter my live…

 

“Okay, I accept.”

 

“What?”

 

“I won’t repeat before changing my mind. Buy me dinner now.”

 

“Oh… Sure, sure, let get something to munch. Whatever you want, the moon, the star, just names it.” he said as broke into laughter, “Ha-ha…”

 

“No moon, no star, just dinner, I am starving.”

 

The bet was placed, would the cards deal be a picture & an ace? I hoped so.

 

Well, well, well, Jennifer met Kong & Kong met Jennifer.

 

------------------------- End of Chapter 8 ---------------------

 

 

 

 

Edited July 22, 2021 by Larry

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 9: The First Time Ever He Kissed Me

 

The waitress came over & took our order. The cafe was rather quiet on a Saturday evening & we sat at a table arranged with two high back sofa benches face to face tucking in one dead corner, a perfect spot for people watching & not to be watched.

 

“How do you want me to address you, Larry or Jennifer?”

 

“Well, Jennifer if in lady mode. But Larry may sound okay as people may receive it as Mary.” What’s a silly question, wasn’t it?

 

“So, Jennifer, I had told my life story but know very little about you, mind to share?”

 

I started by telling him about my family, briefly touch on the money minded - distinctly hostile dad, the nonchalant indifferent mom & my younger sister. I also told him about my childhood friend Ling.

 

“Oh yes, I remember, that good looking young chap together with you at the bus stop, your big sister, right?”

 

“Yes, we stay on the same street with four terrace houses in-between. I stay at his house on weekdays sharing his bed, I only return home on weekends.”

 

“No wonder, I thought you were having two houses but didn’t ask.”

 

“Silly.” I smiled lightly.

 

“Do you mind to talk about your cross dressing?”

 

“Well, I found out my cross-dressing fetish when I was fifteen but I think the desire was there much earlier. For about 5 years I had kept the secret, scared to tell my friends & family as it is difficult for them & the society to understand. Only good friend Ling & now you know this.”

 

“I see.”

 

“Until junior college days I realized cross dress is part of my life. It makes me feel good about myself, enjoying it but too scared to ‘come out’ & be seen, a closet queen so to speak. Including today, there are total three occasions of coming out requiring gut, determination & lot of preparation.”

 

“From guy to girl, there will be lot of work.”

 

“That right, it took me almost eleven hours to realize today makeover.”

 

“I do believe with large sum of money?”

 

“Yes, this pink dress, the makeover & three taxi trips, in total is about one month of my NS allowance.”

 

“Jennifer, I understand the anxiety in coming out alone, didn’t think of coming out in a group or with your big sister?”

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x 

To be continued ……………

 

 

 

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 9: The First Time Ever He Kissed Me

 

“I know no other cross dresser except Ling, I definitely like to come out with him one day. Mingling in with the general public is my desire, of course going out in group can provide the much-needed camaraderie support to each other, but many times I observed that the group became boisterous & loud thus increased one's chances of being spotted.”

 

“That right, you reminded me, they were usually noisy. Sorry, I am in complete ignorance.”

 

“That’s okay.” I paused for continuation, “All these years I search for medical cure in getting rid of this fetish.”

 

“You meant you had visited the psychiatrist?”

 

“Tell you what, in JC1 I confided my troubles to my math teacher & she arranged me to visit a psychiatrist at the department of mental health of Tan Tock Seng Hospital.”

 

“Your parents were informed about this?”

 

“No & I did not want to.”

 

“You were then student how could you afford the consultation fee without their involvement?”

 

“Oh, I was fortunate, through my teacher help, I somehow managed to get a waiver under the MOE medical assistance scheme.”

 

“You have a helpful teacher. I am glad for you.”

 

“Yes, she is indeed my most respected teacher; I never failed to send her greeting card for the Christmas since then.”

 

“So how was the consultation?”

 

“I had been to the same psychiatrist over the last two years, wanting to find a cure. There is no cure, the cure part is that she made me realize that cross dressing is not a sin, it is something inborn & will not go away easily. She told me to understand the margins of society as not to make my life difficult.”

 

The service & food were wonderful.

 

As the waitress came & told us that the café closed at 11.30 pm, we finished our meal & left at around 11.15 pm.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x 

To be continued ……………

 

 

 

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 9: The First Time Ever. He Kissed Me

 

Standing outside the café, Kong pointed at the far end of the car park below, “See, my car is over there.” It was not difficult to locate the car as the car park was almost empty by then.

 

“You go down first, is difficult to walk with high heel.” With left hand on the railing & right hand holding the handbag, I turned aside with a slight angle to the stairs & began my descent cautiously. The phobia came from the last cross dress outing while walking down the stairs at Lido Theatre, I miss-stepped & almost fell down the stairs; it was fortunate with handbag slung over my shoulder, I was hand-free & managed to catch the handrail in the nick of time.

 

“You walk slowly… be careful.” said Kong as he watched intensely & descended the stairs one step ahead of me.

 

“I will. Thanks.”

 

Phew! It took almost a decade to reach the ground. I needed more practices, I told myself.

 

As we walked towards the car, we both spoke almost at the same time, “Can you ….” & “Jennifer, I…”

 

“Sorry, sorry, you have thing to say?”

 

“Never mind, you say first.”

 

“Okay, I am thinking the night is still young, do you like to have a stroll at the east coast?”

 

“Alright, just go for a short walk, okay. I have thing to do later on.”

 

“Already so late & you have thing to do?”

 

“Yes, I wanted to ask you to give me a lift to Katong Jackie Bowl.”

 

“What? Go bowling at this hour?”

 

“No, not bowling, but got thing to do. Aiyo, don’t ask so much.”

 

“Okay, let’s go for the drive then I will send you to the bowling alley.”

 

“So, you are going to give me a lift after that?”

 

“Yes, definitely, how dare me not taking my girlfriend’s instruction.”

 

‘I am now his girlfriend???’ I kept mum pounding on the word 'girlfriend', what a strange & bizarre thing that happened in this evening, I am a guy but now his girlfriend? Gosh, how could this be true?

 

We drove in silence, and in few minutes we arrived at East Coast Park near the McDonald fast food.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x  

To be continued ……………

 

 

 

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 9: The First Time Ever He Kissed Me

 

The car park was packed as we moved the car around searching for a lot.

 

“There, quick, the next lane, see, the car is coming out.” I was sharp to notice one.

 

“Thanks, a sharp shooter indeed.”

 

The car was parked accordingly & I was about to open the car door, “Please sitting still.” Kong said.

 

What? I muttered, anyhow I sat still as told.

 

He came over to my side quickly, ever the gentleman, he held the car door open. Jesus Christ, I couldn’t believe that he doing this social etiquette learnt from his officer cadet training, I was stunned & caught unprepared of this moment for the very first time, overwhelmed by mixed feelings before stepping out of the car, terribly embarrassed & also elated at the same time.

 

“Thanks,” I said. Passing to him my hand carried bag & with two hands placing on top of the hem-line leaving no gap in-between my upper tights, I swung around & lifted my legs out of the car.

 

Standing on solid ground & taking back the handbag, my face was reddened; I thought I did my best to ensure every movement was done elegantly.

 

And he smiled, “Let’s go, my dear lady.”

 

We stood in the concrete pavement leading to the sea front for a few moments surveying the mass of weekend merry making humanity.

 

 

“Let’s walk to the right-hand side.” he said. 

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x 

To be continued ……………

 

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 9: The First Time Ever He Kissed Me

 

“Hmm.” I replied softly.

 

We walked along the sea front in silence; the wind was blowing my hairs & swirling around my legs. The dimmed street lights dissipated my fears & anxiety on cross dressing as my mind wandered freely, hoping able to wear skirt & walk the street in broad daylight confidently as wearing guy clothing, cross dress at work as part of life & not bother by any pubescent perverts who mentally undressed me.

 

Ever so slowly, I felt his hand brushing against my hand & tracing a line down my side. His touch was enough to make my body tingle; warmth spread over me as if I was in his arms. He closed the small distance between us; a shudder went through me as his last finger hooked up with mine.

 

Embarrassingly I slid my last finger out of his & quicken my pace; I could hear his erratic breathing from behind, believing his thoughts were getting as incoherent as mine.

 

“Wait.” Out of sudden, he snatched my right hand with his left hand from behind.

 

We just stood there, staring at each other wordlessly. The wind was cold, blowing softly around us.

 

“Wows, your hand is ice cool.” He took my hand & brought it to his lips, kissing my fingers, keeping his eyes on mine as he did. My wrist bracelet glimmered in the faint light.

 

My heart was pumping hard, the very first time someone was holding my hand, kissing my fingers and the moon was the only witness.

 

He raised his hand & gently caressed my face. I closed my eyes letting his fingers brushed against my painted face, thumb lingering on my cheek.

 

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered reassuringly.

 

Although the lights were dimmed, I was all too aware of his eyes on me. I glanced shyly at him & then lowered my eyes, the sight of his face was almost silver in the moonlight, overwhelming in itself, too great to resist or overcome. Blood rushed to my face; I looked away instinctively. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him; I was so embarrassed.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x 

To be continued ……………

 

 

 

Edited September 12, 2021 by Larry

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 9: The First Time Ever He Kissed Me

 

“Let’s walk to the breakwater.”

 

“It is sandy & I am on high heel.”

 

“Take out your shoes, later I will help to clean up your legs with water & cloth at the car booth.”

 

“But what’s about my stocking?”

 

”I have an idea.” he placed his hands on my waist & neck simultaneously.

 

“What are you doing?” I said blushing.

 

“Carry you to the breakwater.”

 

“Don’t do this la…, people may be watching, so pai-sei.”

 

“Who’s care? Come, don’t argue okay.” he laughed softly & effortlessly scooping me up in his arms, cradling me against his chest. I snuggled closer to him & felt him kissing my forehead. I closed my eyes tightly daring not to look around.

 

It was the most romantic & sweetest thing. If this was any foreshadow of what this relationship had for me, I couldn’t wait.

 

It seemed an eternity at the breakwater, didn’t he feel tired out? “Please put me down.” I said shyly.

 

“Yes madam.” he said as he bent his body & gently put me on the ground, “Be careful, you can stand up now.”

 

We stood at the edge of the ocean where the waves broke. I just stood there in his arms gazing into his eyes. The wind blew through & made messy his hairs which made him even manlier.

 

“Is it okay for you to sit down?”

 

“Yes, but let’s me take out the shoes first.”

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

“Look, a fisherman!” whispering in my ear, Kong pointed to the ocean as we sat on the breakwater.

 

I felt bolder as the place was deserted with another couple at the far end. Curling up next to him & rested my head on his shoulder, there was no where in the world I’d rather be but here.

 

“Do you realize how strong you are?” I said looking up at him. Didn’t he look amazing? His muscles were big, I just couldn’t take my eyes off of them & it was like my eyes were glued to them.

 

“Do you realize how beautiful you look?” he said as he kissed my cheek.

 

I smiled as he wrapped his arm around me & I placed my head back on his shoulder. I shut my eyes & drifted to sleep to the sound of waves in the arms of my prince.

 

I opened my eyes & reached for his face again, bringing it up so that his eyes would meet mine. “You know I loved everything about the beach, the sand between my toes, the roar of the ocean & the smell of the air.”

 

“Shih…” he leaned in, his breath was ragged & his gaze was so intense; I could sense his eyes with desire, in which the way he held me. I snapped out of my daze & reality set in. No, no, not so fast, not so soon.

 

“Don’t,” I pleaded as I put a finger to his lips. I knew he wanted this, needed this.

 

“Sorry.” he read the hesitation in my eyes.

 

I looked down at my watch & said, "Guess we better get going before the alley close at 1.30 am."

 

"So soon, just hope that the clock stops clicking." he whined as he broke away from our embrace.

 

“I enjoy this evening with you, but I think we'd better go."

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x 

To be continued ……………

 

 

Edited September 26, 2021 by Larry

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 9: The First Time Ever He Kissed Me

 

“So, you are sending me to Katong Jackie?” as the car manoeuvred out from the jam-packed car park, I asked.

 

“Of course, but can I know why you are going there at this hour?”

 

“Go there to collect my male clothing.”

 

“What?”

 

“I rent a locker there to store my lady stuff. It is risky to keep these at home.” I paused for continuation, “I also use it to keep my male clothing during cross dressing & then retrieve it when de-dragging myself.”

 

“I see, now I understand.”

 

“I don’t have a choice; it’s impossible to let my parents come to terms with something like that. I have to keep it totally under wraps.”

 

“But where are you going to do this de-dragging?”

 

“The hawker centre at the junction of Joo Chiat Road & Mountbattan Road.”

 

“Hawker centre? How can you do that? How is it possible?”

 

“Besides nearing my house where I can walk from there, the place gets deserted after 11 pm. as all stalls closed for business. The toilet there is not locked provides the much needed water for me to clean my painted face.”

 

“Jesus, I have better understanding the dark side of your life.”

 

“Oh yes, being a cross dresser make my social life a bit…stressful to say the least. I feel pretty lonely; I can only share this little facet of my life with Ling, my big sister.”

 

“No, not any more. Now you have me. I am willing to lend you my listening ears.”

 

“Ha, this is not mathematical game as you thought. Having such issue going on in my life, that can make me a real loner, not able to talk about it openly & get acceptance of my femme self when being out.”

 

We kept silence throughout the remaining journey; perhaps my reply was a bit too harsh to him.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x 

To be continued ……………

 

 

 

Edited September 26, 2021 by Larry

[Larry]

A. My First Love - Kong
Chapter 9: The First Time Ever He Kissed Me

 

Upon arrival at the bowling alley, Kong volunteered himself to retrieve my staff from the locker, “Just take the shopping bag with Isetan logo & don’t touch others, okay.” I reminded him as I handed him the locker key.

 

“So, what’s next?” he said as he came back & passed me the shopping bag.

 

“Go home.”

 

“What? Not changing?”

 

“Yes.” I could not believe having that decision, having that sort of gut; it would be my very first returning home in drag. I was confused, I was not thinking & I was getting very gutsy, perhaps I wanted to end the meet-up with a beautiful impression as not in guy mode.

 

“You sure that’s okay?”

 

“I don’t know, should be okay.”

 

We were both silent on the way to my home. The events of the evening kept playing through my head & were hard to believe any of it had actually happened. I just sat & enjoyed the cool air blowing from the air-con unit. Kong slotted a cassette tape onto the player; it was playing the song ‘The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face’ by Roberta Flack 

.

The first time ever I saw your face, I thought the sun rose in your eyes,And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave, To the dark and the end of the skies. And the first time ever I kissed your mouth, I felt the earth move in my hand, Like the trembling heart of a captive bird, That was there at my command, my love. And the first time ever I lay with you, I felt your heart so close to mine, And I knew our joy would fill the earth, And last, till the end of time, my love. The first time ever I saw your face, Your face, Your face, Your face... 

 

 

“Nice song.” I said softly.

 

“Yes, sentimental indeed.”

 

“Shih…”

 

As the song ended, I asked, “Please play it one more time, okay?”

 

“Sure. Wait a minute.” Kong replied as he pulled the car to the curb in front of the children play ground nearing my house with the engine on. Very soon the tape was rewind & the song re-appeared on air.

 

He leaned over to me, flashed his grin & kissed my cheek quickly & then he said, "Jennifer, thanks, I certainly had a good time this evening."

 

I looked at my hands in my lap, then looked up at him as I said, "Yeah, me too." Then I looked back down at my hands.

 

With his right hand over my car seat, he moved closer to me as his hairs touched my face & in a swift action, my seat back was lowered, I let out a little scream, “Au…, what are you doing?” I tighten my grip around his waist.

 

“Just lie down & enjoy the song.” he said.

 

It sounded cliché, but it seemed to be the right thing to say, because with no further warning, his lips crushed against mine. “I love you,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion, “forever.”

 

My breath stopped; my eyes snapped shut. Everything went very still.

 

His tongue traced along my lips, teasing, seeking for access, “Open your mouth slightly.” he whispered.

 

“Hmm…” my heart was hammering hard as it would be a kiss like no other, with a man but not a girl, there was a flood of contradictory emotions & a flicker of hesitation crossing my mind trying to resist, was it okay was it safe & was it hygienic for his saliva to mix with mine? I asked myself.

 

“Relax, open wider.” his voice was calm, comfort & hypnosis, I was charm & fascinated.

 

“Yes, good girl, wider.”

 

“Wider.” …….

 

And the first time ever I kissed your mouth, I felt the earth move in my hand, Like the trembling heart of a captive bird, That was there at my command, my love

 

He was experienced at this, his tongue, warm & determined, was searching its target. His advanced & mine retreated; there was no way out as he deepened the kiss, was now battling mine. He probably had done this numerously with his ex, I thought.

 

Mouth to mouth, lips to lips, tongue hitting tongue & saliva to saliva, Revel at the sensation, it was new, unfamiliar & uneasy, but I didn’t have a chance to ponder over it for long because his hand was caressing my stocking upper leg.

 

His kiss became more frenzied & I was getting breathless. I forced our lips apart, gasping for air, but his lips soon did the catch-up.

 

I threw my head back & his lips made contact with my neck, I closed shut my eyes as I felt his teeth were nipping my neck lightly. Wows, wows, wows……

 

His hand now went high up under my skirt reaching the vital triangle, “Wow! So wet.” he exclaimed lightly. I could feel his hard-on as his body rubbing against my right hand.

 

“Stop, stop, please.” I felt shy as by now my pantyhose was oozed wet.

 

He pulled away, slowly, and then he said, "Well, I guess you better get home."

 

I looked at him for a moment, not sure what to say or do. I said, "Okay, I really enjoyed tonight."

 

“Yeah, me too."

 

“Goodnight.”

 

“Goodnight, can I call you tomorrow morning?”

 

“Probably not, I have church every Sunday with Ling’s family. I see you on Monday morning same time as usual, okay.” We told each other goodnight, and I got out of the car.

 

“Drive carefully.” I waved & watched him drive away.

 

Feeling both giddy & dreamy, I walked up to my front gate, opened it & went inside.

 

The first time ever I saw your face, I thought the sun rose in your eyes, And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave, To the dark and the end of the skies. And the first time ever I kissed your mouth, I felt the earth move in my hand, Like the trembling heart of a captive bird. That was there at my command, my love. And the first time ever I lay with you , I felt your heart so close to mine, And I knew our joy would fill the earth, And last, till the end of time, my love. The first time ever I saw your face, Your face, Your face, Your face...

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

P.S. The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face is the signature song for me & Kong; I hope you do have one.

Yours sincerely,

 

------------------------- End of Chapter 9 ---------------------

Edited October 2, 2021 by Larry

[egal]

nice random tale

[Firstinsight2000]

Is this the draft of a novel?