qsefthu78 Posted November 22, 2020 Report Share Posted November 22, 2020 (edited) Was there 2 days ago on Friday night. Surprisingly, it was crowded. I haven't been to a sauna in Singapore for many years, and felt like a newbie, not sure what to expect or how to conform to the norms of behaviours there. The crowd, like what many had described, was very mixed and most guys (about 80%?) are largely what most would consider to be in the average-guy-on-the-street category. And like what I've read here too, this is where you'll find plus-sized guys, whom chasers would find appealing too. Age wise, again largely above thirties, with just a few younger guys in cliques whom I would consider twinkish looking. It's inevitable to judge - it's a sauna afterall and a meat market out there. Place wise, it's definitely clean and well managed, and the hot tub is surprisingly nice. Maybe I'm out of touch, but I do not feel the vibes there as I felt in overseas saunas like those in Taipei and Japan. Again, maybe there's something cold about the Singaprean gay culture - overheard 2 guys conversing in the hot tub about Singaporean guys being unapproachable, cold, lacking manners as compared to other Asian guys. Anyway, I thought it was going to be an uneventful evening, till I met an acquaintance. Would I visit again? Most likely not. I would love to join in the conversation with the guy with the star tattoos on his chest in the hot tub - he was smiling at me too, but I thought it would be rude to break into the conversation. Would have approached him, but he was constantly approached by his friends and left pretty soon after. Edited November 22, 2020 by qsefthu78 Zyscgk 1 Quote https://linktr.ee/johntanegbdf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Client Posted November 22, 2020 Report Share Posted November 22, 2020 3 hours ago, qsefthu78 said: .Again, maybe there's something cold about the Singaprean gay culture - overheard 2 guys conversing in the hot tub about Singaporean guys being unapproachable, cold, lacking manners as compared to other Asian guys. Anyway, I thought it was going to be an uneventful evening, till I met an acquaintance. Would I visit again? Most likely not. To the guy with the star tattoos on your chest in the hot tub: thanks for your smiles - would love to join in the conversation, but thought it would be rude. Would want to know you, but you were constantly approached by your friends and you left pretty soon after. Sounded more like the friendly tattooed guy had smiled in vain for nothing to a hypocritical Ice Queen, glad you know your icy castle suits you better haha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qsefthu78 Posted November 22, 2020 Author Report Share Posted November 22, 2020 3 minutes ago, Guest Client said: Sounded more like the friendly tattooed guy had smiled in vain for nothing to a hypocritical Ice Queen, glad you know your icy castle suits you better haha. Thanks, but I don't think I fit the title of Queen. I smiled too, and our legs kept in contact under the water. I just don't think it's good manners to interupt an active conversation when I'm just interested in hooking up with one of the two. Well, I guess it's the proverbial wrong timing. He was constantly flanked by his friends. Also, this is a good opportunity to add on that Singaporeans do not know how to give and accept rejections graciously, to the point of becoming bitterly defensive of their ego. Do I feel bitter when the lean good looking guy with nice tan lines 'tsk'-ed me when I approached him? No. Do I curse or swear or get rough with the persistent gentlemen who forced upon me in the dark room? No. I'm more than aware that guys are there to have a good time and everyone is entitled to their preferences. There's no place for resentment and bitterness to spoil the fun and thrill of cruising and sex 😉 manehiso, yuquidam, bong pal and 1 other 1 2 1 Quote https://linktr.ee/johntanegbdf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimochi Posted November 22, 2020 Report Share Posted November 22, 2020 3 hours ago, qsefthu78 said: Thanks, but I don't think I fit the title of Queen. I smiled too, and our legs kept in contact under the water. I just don't think it's good manners to interupt an active conversation when I'm just interested in hooking up with one of the two. Well, I guess it's the proverbial wrong timing. He was constantly flanked by his friends. Also, this is a good opportunity to add on that Singaporeans do not know how to give and accept rejections graciously, to the point of becoming bitterly defensive of their ego. Do I feel bitter when the lean good looking guy with nice tan lines 'tsk'-ed me when I approached him? No. Do I curse or swear or get rough with the persistent gentlemen who forced upon me in the dark room? No. I'm more than aware that guys are there to have a good time and everyone is entitled to their preferences. There's no place for resentment and bitterness to spoil the fun and thrill of cruising and sex 😉 Haha thats what I observed too ~ don't know where they learnt this manner and behaviour from. Its usually the foreigners who are more approachable friendly and speaks like a human instead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seedrick Posted November 22, 2020 Report Share Posted November 22, 2020 13 minutes ago, Kimochi said: ~ don't know where they learnt this manner and behaviour from. I can think of a few countries that have that sort of behaviourism... =X Quote If Michelangelo had been straight, the Sistine Chapel would have been wallpapered Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimochi Posted November 22, 2020 Report Share Posted November 22, 2020 47 minutes ago, Seedrick said: I can think of a few countries that have that sort of behaviourism... =X Lolz list out? Or too sensitive? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest wrong time Posted November 22, 2020 Report Share Posted November 22, 2020 7 hours ago, Guest Client said: Sounded more like the friendly tattooed guy had smiled in vain for nothing to a hypocritical Ice Queen, glad you know your icy castle suits you better haha. from my judgement of the situation either the other guy had his balls empty or ass already widened from heavy penetration and that's why he took a relaxing soothing bath at the tub or the other guy was his bf and felt flattered from the approaches by gsefthu78, but couldn't respond for any action. Lot's of guys don't want to look like sex sluts in front of their friends. people here worry so much about their image (face). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest wrong time Posted November 22, 2020 Report Share Posted November 22, 2020 7 hours ago, qsefthu78 said: Thanks, but I don't think I fit the title of Queen. I smiled too, and our legs kept in contact under the water. I just don't think it's good manners to interupt an active conversation when I'm just interested in hooking up with one of the two. Well, I guess it's the proverbial wrong timing. He was constantly flanked by his friends. Also, this is a good opportunity to add on that Singaporeans do not know how to give and accept rejections graciously, to the point of becoming bitterly defensive of their ego. Do I feel bitter when the lean good looking guy with nice tan lines 'tsk'-ed me when I approached him? No. Do I curse or swear or get rough with the persistent gentlemen who forced upon me in the dark room? No. I'm more than aware that guys are there to have a good time and everyone is entitled to their preferences. There's no place for resentment and bitterness to spoil the fun and thrill of cruising and sex 😉 3 hours ago, Kimochi said: Haha thats what I observed too ~ don't know where they learnt this manner and behaviour from. Its usually the foreigners who are more approachable friendly and speaks like a human instead. I concur. Singaporeans are the worst to let anyone know anything. That's why they prefer guys at saunas walking behind them for hours instead of just giving a clear signal to the other or even unthinkable to voice out a " sorry no" or "sorry, not my type" or uttering anything. Even Mainland Chinese guys have more guts to clearly voice out a rejection and the softest Asian like Thai boys, who can perfectly reject your advance with the sweetest smile in their face but by talking to you. This fear to reject someone by Singaporeans is one of the most ridicule and silly. Talking inside a sauna to strangers already seems so terrible difficult for Singaporeans... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mate69 Posted November 22, 2020 Report Share Posted November 22, 2020 6 hours ago, Guest wrong time said: I concur. Singaporeans are the worst to let anyone know anything. That's why they prefer guys at saunas walking behind them for hours instead of just giving a clear signal to the other or even unthinkable to voice out a " sorry no" or "sorry, not my type" or uttering anything. Even Mainland Chinese guys have more guts to clearly voice out a rejection and the softest Asian like Thai boys, who can perfectly reject your advance with the sweetest smile in their face but by talking to you. This fear to reject someone by Singaporeans is one of the most ridicule and silly. Talking inside a sauna to strangers already seems so terrible difficult for Singaporeans... This is very true.. everyone is there in the sauna for one reason only lah no need to be so shy or appear to be demure or play hard to get or whatever fab 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveCum Posted November 22, 2020 Report Share Posted November 22, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, mate69 said: This is very true.. everyone is there in the sauna for one reason only lah no need to be so shy or appear to be demure or play hard to get or whatever Act Atas, go to musuem。。。also is free entry so can stand, afterall so free nothing to do, just go in and stand around and act. Edited November 23, 2020 by LoveCum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sauna Newbie Posted November 23, 2020 Report Share Posted November 23, 2020 3 hours ago, LoveCum said: Act Atas, go to musuem。。。also is free entry so can stand, afterall so free nothing to do, just go in and stand around and act. I wonder they ever get laid or they are so principled that they would rather go home without getting laid? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeanMature Posted November 23, 2020 Report Share Posted November 23, 2020 On 11/22/2020 at 2:45 PM, qsefthu78 said: Most, if not all wore masks in the dark areas. In wet areas, some do, some don't. In an establishment which thrives on physical contact, I don't think it makes sense for social distancing or masking up. There was active discussion before on mask wearing, so let's just leave it as that. I see. So its' optional in wet areas. 19 hours ago, Seedrick said: I can think of a few countries that have that sort of behaviourism... =X Yes, agree. I was being avoided in one of the saunas in Amsterdam. I overheard the word "Asian". Seedrick 1 Quote Don't read and response to guests' post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fetish72 Posted November 23, 2020 Report Share Posted November 23, 2020 9 hours ago, LoveCum said: Act Atas, go to musuem。。。also is free entry so can stand, afterall so free nothing to do, just go in and stand around and act. Well said I totally agree with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest preferences Posted November 23, 2020 Report Share Posted November 23, 2020 1 hour ago, LeanMature said: Yes, agree. I was being avoided in one of the saunas in Amsterdam. I overheard the word "Asian". I think it would be the wrong thread here to discuss different likings in different regions in details. Even in Thailand there are certain saunas catering only to Thai or Asian, if a Caucasian went to any such sauna he would probably be avoided too or would stand lonely in one one corner of the sauna. You would be surprised not all Thai guys prefer Caucasian guys. In Hong Kong it is probably not much different for Caucasian guys as some are thrilled by white guys others reject them bluntly (on times even harshly by pushing them away). I said it at other threads: don't assume as an Asian that you will be the top hot wanted guy in Europe or North or South America. From my experience: Only 10% of Caucasian guys are into fun with Asian guys. Let's accept that there are preferences for the desired sex partner in every region in the world. But there is one big difference and this is the point of discussion here: In most other parts the guys would signal you or speak out their disinterest or rejection not to interact with you. In Singapore guys want you to assume from unclear signals or learn from their ignorance towards you that they aren't interested or reject you, but they don't tend to speak it out. that is the difference! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tomato Posted November 23, 2020 Report Share Posted November 23, 2020 4 hours ago, Guest preferences said: I think it would be the wrong thread here to discuss different likings in different regions in details. Even in Thailand there are certain saunas catering only to Thai or Asian, if a Caucasian went to any such sauna he would probably be avoided too or would stand lonely in one one corner of the sauna. You would be surprised not all Thai guys prefer Caucasian guys. In Hong Kong it is probably not much different for Caucasian guys as some are thrilled by white guys others reject them bluntly (on times even harshly by pushing them away). I said it at other threads: don't assume as an Asian that you will be the top hot wanted guy in Europe or North or South America. From my experience: Only 10% of Caucasian guys are into fun with Asian guys. Let's accept that there are preferences for the desired sex partner in every region in the world. But there is one big difference and this is the point of discussion here: In most other parts the guys would signal you or speak out their disinterest or rejection not to interact with you. In Singapore guys want you to assume from unclear signals or learn from their ignorance towards you that they aren't interested or reject you, but they don't tend to speak it out. that is the difference! The point is, Sporeans are very poor communicators; and it seems that most are not even aware of their own inabilities. What happened in the sauna, really is a small issue. In real life, if one is a poor communicator, he will lose big in life, esp in relationships with others, whether personal or corporate. That's why you will see so many 'losers' in Spore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Expired Btm Uncle Posted November 23, 2020 Report Share Posted November 23, 2020 16 hours ago, mate69 said: This is very true.. everyone is there in the sauna for one reason only lah no need to be so shy or appear to be demure or play hard to get or whatever Dont have if thats truely a Sg thing but tell that to the guys that cruised at macritchie. Most guys play hard to get or have a face that u owe him millions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seedrick Posted November 23, 2020 Report Share Posted November 23, 2020 Singaporeans are self-entitled? They feel that they deserve the best and accepts nothing less or the imperfects? Quote If Michelangelo had been straight, the Sistine Chapel would have been wallpapered Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeanMature Posted November 23, 2020 Report Share Posted November 23, 2020 5 hours ago, Guest preferences said: I think it would be the wrong thread here to discuss different likings in different regions in details. Even in Thailand there are certain saunas catering only to Thai or Asian, if a Caucasian went to any such sauna he would probably be avoided too or would stand lonely in one one corner of the sauna. You would be surprised not all Thai guys prefer Caucasian guys. In Hong Kong it is probably not much different for Caucasian guys as some are thrilled by white guys others reject them bluntly (on times even harshly by pushing them away). I said it at other threads: don't assume as an Asian that you will be the top hot wanted guy in Europe or North or South America. From my experience: Only 10% of Caucasian guys are into fun with Asian guys. Let's accept that there are preferences for the desired sex partner in every region in the world. But there is one big difference and this is the point of discussion here: In most other parts the guys would signal you or speak out their disinterest or rejection not to interact with you. In Singapore guys want you to assume from unclear signals or learn from their ignorance towards you that they aren't interested or reject you, but they don't tend to speak it out. that is the difference! That I agree with you. I have no interest in Caucasian guys either. Was holidaying with a group of friends and exploring the sauna scene there. Quote Don't read and response to guests' post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimochi Posted November 24, 2020 Report Share Posted November 24, 2020 13 hours ago, LeanMature said: That I agree with you. I have no interest in Caucasian guys either. Was holidaying with a group of friends and exploring the sauna scene there. There's a huge difference. When you approach many of the foreigners, if you are not their type, they communicate to politely turn you down. For the local, they continue to pretend to be statues, pointing their nose even higher (compete with Pinocchio ? )and treat you invisible. Fucked up behavior. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeanMature Posted November 24, 2020 Report Share Posted November 24, 2020 6 minutes ago, Kimochi said: There's a huge difference. When you approach many of the foreigners, if you are not their type, they communicate to politely turn you down. For the local, they continue to pretend to be statues, pointing their nose even higher (compete with Pinocchio ? )and treat you invisible. Fucked up behavior. Actually, it was so dark inside the sauna that I find it hard to know the person I am touching is local or foreigner. As you said, if they just stand there like statues without communicating, how would you know they are locals ? Quote Don't read and response to guests' post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimochi Posted November 24, 2020 Report Share Posted November 24, 2020 2 minutes ago, LeanMature said: Actually, it was so dark inside the sauna that I find it hard to know the person I am touching is local or foreigner. As you said, if they just stand there like statues without communicating, how would you know they are locals ? You get into the dark maze long enough your eyes will accustomize and thus able to see. And its easy filtering the locals. wilfgene 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomcat Posted November 24, 2020 Report Share Posted November 24, 2020 51 minutes ago, Kimochi said: There's a huge difference. When you approach many of the foreigners, if you are not their type, they communicate to politely turn you down. For the local, they continue to pretend to be statues, pointing their nose even higher (compete with Pinocchio ? )and treat you invisible. Fucked up behavior. True. When I am in sauna overseas, this is also the case with China guys. I would say this local problem is a Chinese problem specifically, as Malay and Indian guys will not treat you like you are invisible. Even if they are not keen, they will turn down politely. So maybe this is a leftover superior attitude from mainland China - "If you are trash in my eyes, why should you deserve to be acknowledged at all?" Singaporean Chinese guys who are like this really need to work on themselves. Everybody has their day in the sun, sooner or later, you will be undesirable too. Be humble. mike_amk 1 Quote 🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Why? Posted November 24, 2020 Report Share Posted November 24, 2020 (edited) Sauna is a place of learning. Learning about rejection and acceptance. If you think Sauna is your wonder, fairy-tale land, than you have better chance in Disney-Land instead. Why is there a need to cry rejection, coldness, in Sauna when in reality, this world is already much worse in every aspect of human behaviours. On that note, please do not judge a book by its cover. Warm and smiley is just a mask, could be born out of desperation, to hide something, to trap a prey, that is how nature works in the jungle. Humanity is no difference. You ain't see anything yet and I can make you cum just by staring at my cool looking faces. Are you scare yet? Edited November 24, 2020 by Why? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest reject Posted November 24, 2020 Report Share Posted November 24, 2020 6 hours ago, tomcat said: True. When I am in sauna overseas, this is also the case with China guys. I would say this local problem is a Chinese problem specifically, as Malay and Indian guys will not treat you like you are invisible. Even if they are not keen, they will turn down politely. So maybe this is a leftover superior attitude from mainland China - "If you are trash in my eyes, why should you deserve to be acknowledged at all?" Singaporean Chinese guys who are like this really need to work on themselves. Everybody has their day in the sun, sooner or later, you will be undesirable too. Be humble. Exactly! in Malaysia or Thailand you can receive a rejection with a super sweet nice smile smooth as silk... Once at a sauna here I was resting at a corridor and just looking around, there was one guy who followed the other guy through the corridors for at least 30 mins. they passed by at least 10 times, the one chasing the other in front but the guy in front ignoring him. The scene was funny. I couldn't bear it any longer. I stopped the guy in front by stretching out my arm in front of him and asked him while the other guy was standing behind him: " Do you need me to tell him that he is not your type?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
auscent Posted November 24, 2020 Report Share Posted November 24, 2020 More Sporeans need to speak up publicly: communicate their feelings out clearly. mate69 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
passinthenight Posted November 25, 2020 Report Share Posted November 25, 2020 12 hours ago, auscent said: More Sporeans need to speak up publicly: communicate their feelings out clearly. It might be that Singaporeans don't handle confrontation very well or just don't want to deal with it? Hopefully by ignoring and keeping silent and showing no interest, the guy will somehow get the hint. I suppose we are all different and handle situations in our own way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeanMature Posted November 25, 2020 Report Share Posted November 25, 2020 12 hours ago, auscent said: More Sporeans need to speak up publicly: communicate their feelings out clearly. Unfortunately, the culture doesn't. Silent protest. 11 minutes ago, passinthenight said: It might be that Singaporeans don't handle confrontation very well or just don't want to deal with it? Hopefully by ignoring and keeping silent and showing no interest, the guy will somehow get the hint. I suppose we are all different and handle situations in our own way. Singaporeans by and large, avoid confrontation. They just stare down at you and turn the other cheek. Quote Don't read and response to guests' post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomcat Posted November 25, 2020 Report Share Posted November 25, 2020 22 hours ago, Why? said: when in reality, this world is already much worse in every aspect of human behaviours. On that note, please do not judge a book by its cover. Warm and smiley is just a mask, could be born out of desperation, to hide something, to trap a prey, that is how nature works in the jungle. Humanity is no difference. You ain't see anything yet... Quote 🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fab Posted November 25, 2020 Report Share Posted November 25, 2020 1 hour ago, LeanMature said: Unfortunately, the culture doesn't. Silent protest. Singaporeans by and large, avoid confrontation. They just stare down at you and turn the other cheek. Silence is golden. Quote 鍾意就好,理佢男定女 never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want. 结缘不结怨 解怨不解缘 After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say. 看穿不说穿 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeanMature Posted November 25, 2020 Report Share Posted November 25, 2020 2 hours ago, fab said: Silence is golden. Haha. It's not silence per se. Avoid confrontation, then a lot of complaints and swearing behind. wilfgene 1 Quote Don't read and response to guests' post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
upshot Posted November 25, 2020 Report Share Posted November 25, 2020 "Singaporean guys being unapproachable, cold, lacking manners as compared to other Asian guys" They have not met me then heheh.... Quote ** Comments are my opinions, same as yours. It's not a 'Be-All-and-End-All' view. Intent's to thought-provoke, validate, reiterate and yes, even correct. Opinion to consider but agree to disagree. I don't enjoy conflicted exchanges, empty bravado or egoistical chest pounding. It's never personal, tribalistic or with malice. Frank by nature, means, I never bend the truth. Views are to broaden understanding - Updated: Nov 2021. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savagegarden Posted November 26, 2020 Report Share Posted November 26, 2020 My own observation is that, in general, Singaporeans are a bit more reserved esp in unfamiliar places or where strangers are around. It would not be really fair to say that this means Singaporeans are cold or arrogant (but there will always be asshole exceptions). This is most obvious in parties or in bars (or even in the gym) where people are usually poker-faced or stay within their impenetrable cliques. It may appear unfriendly or intimidating to outsiders but I'd say it's also a very Asian thing - with some exceptions of course. My own sense is that it's because nobody wants to make a fool of themselves in public. That's not to say it doesn't happen in Western countries, just less so. The dynamics in saunas is a bit more unique as everybody is there for one reason - to have fun with strangers (most of the time). A third may likely be newbies or in the closet - so they just don't know how to behave and the default is to be unfriendly, defensive or rude. If you really like the guy, just appear friendly and whisper something into their ear. Another third will be assholes who think the world revolves around them. They will either swat away your advances, walk away with a swagger, or make you feel small. Avoid them as they usually are the worst sex anyway - unless they are super hot and tahan a bit 😄. The rest would be regulars who have been around long enough to know that being unapproachable won't work if they want to have sex (multiple times). They know how it feels to be rejected. If they are not interested, they would generally acknowledge you and gently (but firmly) push away advances. Walk away as it will never happen. Of course there will always be somebody who can't take no for an answer. Then they are asking for it and shouldn't complain if somebody had been rude to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lentur Posted November 26, 2020 Report Share Posted November 26, 2020 If we look up the history, Singapore was founded by colonization, intimidation, genocide, and greed. Today we see the product of it, people are in general reserved, cold, rude so you need to learn a few techniques of breaking the ice when dealing with these once was an oppressed people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tomato Posted November 26, 2020 Report Share Posted November 26, 2020 10 hours ago, savagegarden said: My own observation is that, in general, Singaporeans are a bit more reserved esp in unfamiliar places or where strangers are around. It would not be really fair to say that this means Singaporeans are cold or arrogant (but there will always be asshole exceptions). This is most obvious in parties or in bars (or even in the gym) where people are usually poker-faced or stay within their impenetrable cliques. It may appear unfriendly or intimidating to outsiders but I'd say it's also a very Asian thing - with some exceptions of course. My own sense is that it's because nobody wants to make a fool of themselves in public. That's not to say it doesn't happen in Western countries, just less so. 10 hours ago, Guest Lentur said: If we look up the history, Singapore was founded by colonization, intimidation, genocide, and greed. Today we see the product of it, people are in general reserved, cold, rude so you need to learn a few techniques of breaking the ice when dealing with these once was an oppressed people. It is the upbringing. One grows up in an averagely prosperous environment, forever fearful of others cheating their money. So it is better to stay unfrenly to fence off unnecessary 'troubles'. On upbringing, don't have to go far, just compare with neighbouring Malaysians (whom are socio economically similar to Sporeans.) I don't see the 'shy and reserved' behaviour as much as fellow Sporeans. If you have studied overseas, you will see the differences in how students of different (Asian) nationalities behave. Although a generalisation, Sporeans often hang out in their own group, 'shy and reserved' to mix around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeanMature Posted November 27, 2020 Report Share Posted November 27, 2020 On 11/26/2020 at 10:43 AM, Guest Lentur said: If we look up the history, Singapore was founded by colonization, intimidation, genocide, and greed. Today we see the product of it, people are in general reserved, cold, rude so you need to learn a few techniques of breaking the ice when dealing with these once was an oppressed people. Wrong side of history. How can today generation be a product of yester colonization, which was more than 50 years ago. Quote Don't read and response to guests' post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savagegarden Posted November 27, 2020 Report Share Posted November 27, 2020 31 minutes ago, LeanMature said: Wrong side of history. How can today generation be a product of yester colonization, which was more than 50 years ago. frankly - I think it's mainly saving face. But it does sound like an oversimplification. There will always be exceptions and always a lot of other factors involved. But ultimately it's boils down to avoiding making a fool of yourself - IMHO. I don't think a majority of Singaporeans do it out of spite. I think it's just being reserved and keeping oneself to oneself. There is always a reluctance to make the first move. However, I'm always pleasantly surprised when the ice breaks quite fast once somebody makes the first move. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeanMature Posted November 27, 2020 Report Share Posted November 27, 2020 10 minutes ago, savagegarden said: frankly - I think it's mainly saving face. But it does sound like an oversimplification. There will always be exceptions and always a lot of other factors involved. But ultimately it's boils down to avoiding making a fool of yourself - IMHO. I don't think a majority of Singaporeans do it out of spite. I think it's just being reserved and keeping oneself to oneself. There is always a reluctance to make the first move. However, I'm always pleasantly surprised when the ice breaks quite fast once somebody makes the first move. Exactly. The mindset changes once the person enter the saunas, becoming defensive, self conscious and conceited. As one stepped out of the saunas, he is back to his usual mindset which is vastly different. Quote Don't read and response to guests' post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wilfgene Posted November 27, 2020 Report Share Posted November 27, 2020 1 hour ago, LeanMature said: Wrong side of history. How can today generation be a product of yester colonization, which was more than 50 years ago. Yet you neither rebuke nor address those certain parts of history. There are consequences to choices we make in life, or influences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tomato Posted November 27, 2020 Report Share Posted November 27, 2020 9 hours ago, savagegarden said: I don't think a majority of Singaporeans do it out of spite. I think it's just being reserved and keeping oneself to oneself. There is always a reluctance to make the first move. However, I'm always pleasantly surprised when the ice breaks quite fast once somebody makes the first move. In Chinese, it is referred to as 闷骚。Simply, it means that these chaps are all wanting and slutty, but pretentiously display the aristocratic exterior. Once touched, the wild slut comes out. Not really a flattering term when it comes to social hehaviour. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mate69 Posted November 27, 2020 Report Share Posted November 27, 2020 33 minutes ago, Guest Tomato said: In Chinese, it is referred to as 闷骚。Simply, it means that these chaps are all wanting and slutty, but pretentiously display the aristocratic exterior. Once touched, the wild slut comes out. Not really a flattering term when it comes to social hehaviour. Indeed. So accurate, according to my experience fab 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
begleitung Posted December 1, 2020 Report Share Posted December 1, 2020 Takes two to tango? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tyan Posted December 3, 2020 Report Share Posted December 3, 2020 On 11/27/2020 at 1:31 PM, savagegarden said: frankly - I think it's mainly saving face. But it does sound like an oversimplification. There will always be exceptions and always a lot of other factors involved. But ultimately it's boils down to avoiding making a fool of yourself - IMHO. I don't think a majority of Singaporeans do it out of spite. I think it's just being reserved and keeping oneself to oneself. There is always a reluctance to make the first move. However, I'm always pleasantly surprised when the ice breaks quite fast once somebody makes the first move. It also depends if the person who make the 1st move is really the right person. There was once I also have the same mentality on sauna goer. I tot if I make the first move. The other will respond now that the ice is broken. Apparently it is not the case. The more I advance, the more annoyed they are. So I figured out that I am not the right person who they are waiting to break the ice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted December 3, 2020 Report Share Posted December 3, 2020 I'd much rather be with a Singaporean guy who is unapproachable, cold, and lacking manners who is just being his true self, than be with one of those many Asians who pretends to be approachable, warm and courteous but is a lying hypocrite who will stab me in the back the moment I turn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest forever alone Posted December 3, 2020 Report Share Posted December 3, 2020 4 hours ago, Guest Guest said: I'd much rather be with a Singaporean guy who is unapproachable, cold, and lacking manners who is just being his true self, than be with one of those many Asians who pretends to be approachable, warm and courteous but is a lying hypocrite who will stab me in the back the moment I turn. Nobody prevents you from staying alone, lonely and in self proclaimed isolation. It is your own choice. "One of those many Asians who are backstabbers once I turn around" isn't that a mere generalization or a reflection of personal hatred against anything foreign? As if there wouldn't be any Singaporeans, maybe even " one of those many Singaporeans" who behave not any different that what you describe on other Asians. No sound minded person would come up with such generalizations. And bringing up with such words in a thread discussing sauna visits, where casual sex is the norm and social interaction on limited terms, it seems rather far fetched... From singular experiences we shouldn't generalize and past attributes to others. In every country there are "backstabbers". Probably many sauna goers visit such places for getting stabbed in their back the moment they turn around... 🤣 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savagegarden Posted December 3, 2020 Report Share Posted December 3, 2020 5 hours ago, tyan said: It also depends if the person who make the 1st move is really the right person. There was once I also have the same mentality on sauna goer. I tot if I make the first move. The other will respond now that the ice is broken. Apparently it is not the case. The more I advance, the more annoyed they are. So I figured out that I am not the right person who they are waiting to break the ice. True. Not always the case. But knowing when it's not welcomed the first time is also knowing it's rude to pester people. So it works both ways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted December 3, 2020 Report Share Posted December 3, 2020 36 minutes ago, Guest forever alone said: Nobody prevents you from staying alone, lonely and in self proclaimed isolation. It is your own choice. "One of those many Asians who are backstabbers once I turn around" isn't that a mere generalization or a reflection of personal hatred against anything foreign? As if there wouldn't be any Singaporeans, maybe even " one of those many Singaporeans" who behave not any different that what you describe on other Asians. No sound minded person would come up with such generalizations. And bringing up with such words in a thread discussing sauna visits, where casual sex is the norm and social interaction on limited terms, it seems rather far fetched... From singular experiences we shouldn't generalize and past attributes to others. In every country there are "backstabbers". Probably many sauna goers visit such places for getting stabbed in their back the moment they turn around... 🤣 Wah... So can go free-for-all on Singaporeans in sauna topics, but cannot say bad things about foreigners elsewhere? Uniquely Singapore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomcat Posted December 11, 2020 Report Share Posted December 11, 2020 On 12/3/2020 at 9:40 AM, Guest Guest said: I'd much rather be with a Singaporean guy who is unapproachable, cold, and lacking manners who is just being his true self, than be with one of those many Asians who pretends to be approachable, warm and courteous but is a lying hypocrite who will stab me in the back the moment I turn. two wrongs do not make a right. why must force yourself to settle for cold, no manners, unapproachable? honestly, please do better than these two types you just described. carrying such a passive aggressive narrative on yourself also brings you no where. you can have trauma in your life but the moment you let your trauma dictate your life, you lose. JamesAdmas 1 Quote 🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Derelict Posted December 11, 2020 Report Share Posted December 11, 2020 The behavior is typical of the majority of Singapores cutting across all demographics. Aloof, reserved and they will open up to you if they know you well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mate69 Posted December 11, 2020 Report Share Posted December 11, 2020 Just now, Guest Derelict said: The behavior is typical of the majority of Singapores cutting across all demographics. Aloof, reserved and they will open up to you if they know you well. Yes pplenty of them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tomato Posted December 11, 2020 Report Share Posted December 11, 2020 10 hours ago, Guest Derelict said: The behavior is typical of the majority of Singapores cutting across all demographics. Aloof, reserved and they will open up to you if they know you well. Watched this interview with Sharon Aw. Never really liked her, but really, I am awed as she seems to have changed after years abroad (or probably getting older, one somehow got wiser). She used to a plastic 'nice and correct' Sporean. In the interview, she exudes a kind of relaxedness, spontaneity and confidence (in sharing her stories which may not all be good). These are qualities that many Singaporeans (gay or str8, men or women) are all too guarded and afraid to let others know. As a result, the stereotypical characteristics that nobody likes. Really, Singaporeans should all go out and let loose a little. What I mean by going out, is to experience the openess of the mind, not go abroad and only take photos and spend money. Stop taking yourself too seriously, be more relaxed, expressive with a good attitude. Smile a little, express some proper and good manners (befitting of your education and upbringing). In saunas or in the society we live in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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