When you meet people, how do you break the ice?

[Guest People]

What do you usually say to people you meet in the lift or bump into your boss? Something to break the ice? For someone who dont talk alot or good at conversation?

[iwontbiteleh]

49 minutes ago, Guest People said:

What do you usually say to people you meet in the lift or bump into your boss? Something to break the ice? For someone who dont talk alot or good at conversation?

You can talk about “have u eaten”. Or just a simple greeting, look good today etc. 

[mate69]

No need to break the ice. 

They wont reciprocate

Remain stoic and unreadable best

[yuquidam]

Usual lor - "Good morning, Good night, good day";

"Get lost!";

"WTF!";

" Wa weather very cold (or very hot).";

"After work (or after sex)?";

"Think got a mosquito on your mask.";

"You look great (or "You look like shit", whichever takes your fancy);

"Time is hard. You wanna kiss?", etc..etc..LOL. Dun break the ice mah. Just pass ice with your mouth to his mouth, kao dim liao. Why so mah fun...

 

For me I'll just lick my lips with my tongue and ask if he wants a lemon mint. If he says yes I'll just pass him mine using my mouth. Btw, I do that only at the Tampines eco park, not anywhere else. And IF the guy shows interest la...LOL 

 

Warning: Try it elsewhere for a black eye or for smthg worse.. keke 

Edited January 23, 2021 by yuquidam

[Guest No at all]

If the person I didn't like, I will not talk for the sake of talking. It is just not me.  Time has changed and human are exploiting each other for selfish reason.  Why should I feel obligated to entertain some shitty person in the loft or lift?

[yuquidam]

33 minutes ago, Guest No at all said:

If the person I didn't like, I will not talk for the sake of talking. It is just not me.  Time has changed and human are exploiting each other for selfish reason.  Why should I feel obligated to entertain some shitty person in the loft or lift?

Luv your style...esp when the person shows a stuck up face

Edited January 23, 2021 by yuquidam

[auscent]

Just a few min of small talk as intro is just a courtesy.

Chat by asking abt him, elaborating ideas like writing compo, talk a bit bout urself 

It is not necessary hypocritical - it is being inclusive. Just like how introverts wanted to be accepted.

[Guest People]

3 hours ago, mate69 said:

No need to break the ice. 

They wont reciprocate

Remain stoic and unreadable best

Haiz, I was so anxious that I didnt look at people or whoever coming from the door. That one time, my big boss entered from the door, I just kind of stunned or frozen and walk away to the other door quickly. Actually I didnt see her but heard her saying "so not friend...". I didnt finish hearing what she said. I don't know why I was so panic but I just want to quickly dissapear in to my direction. 

 

But I think I'm in deep shit.

[mate69]

4 hours ago, Guest No at all said:

If the person I didn't like, I will not talk for the sake of talking. It is just not me.  Time has changed and human are exploiting each other for selfish reason.  Why should I feel obligated to entertain some shitty person in the loft or lift?

Yes

[Guest Derelict]

Use an ice pick like in Basic Instinct.

[Zyscgk]

Surely a lot of socially inept people...stay stoic and unreadable or pretend no one is there....you're that creep.

 

...if you don't know how to break ice with a stranger or make small talk with acquaintances...maybe just have a sincere friendly smile, a nod...let them make the first move and you take that cue...cos if you're socially inept and you try to say something...it usually ends up cringe worthy, crickets or worst...foot in mouth. 🤣

Edited January 23, 2021 by Zyscgk

[mate69]

Just a Hi there how are u is more than enough

[Guest Derelict]

There are a lot of rude people who are verbally abrasive. Those who think they are damn happening and up there and pride themselves as "very social'. Just a bunch of silly superficial pretenders that people are better off not knowing. Brings to mind a Malaysian whom I'll not name...who is not even regionally known but acts like a major diva. No class.

[sum1outhere_03]

8 hours ago, Guest People said:

What do you usually say to people you meet in the lift or bump into your boss? Something to break the ice? For someone who dont talk alot or good at conversation?

 

If you have no hard feelings for your boss, a smile and a "hi" can be a nice gesture for them because overall, their position can be quite lonesome. A small chat of whichever topic will be even a plus point. I believe he/she will appreciate it.

[ERF]

Ask them where they were from. How was their day. Bring up something you both have talked about and discussed before. Think on your feet if you're nervous and come up with an interesting conversation but at the end of the day be yourself. Usually certain topics can lead to expansion of more topics and you learn about this person etc. This is me on most dates lmao.

[Seekgoodsucker]

15 hours ago, Guest People said:

Something to break the ice? For someone who dont talk alot or good at conversation?

 

If you merely doing that so you would  NOT appear unfriendly/ unprofessional, just a nod/ a smile/ casual greetings should suffice. 

 

If you’re not good at making small talks, I strongly encourage you not attempting to make any. Often, there’s a higher chance of you making it MORE awkward than it already is. 

 

It’s your nature (not being chatty), and so, to try & force your nature(s) to be other than what they are, is absurd. 

[Guest]

There are many ways to appear as aloof, rude or haolian. One of the best way is to look at a person you know and not acknowledge his presence.

 

if you were that person, how would you feel? If you don’t think that you were being ignored or you appeared as transparent, then you don’t belong to this planet.

 

So if you don’t wish to feel hypocritical, just a hi, a smile or a greeting would do. It’s basic courtesy or respect. No need to do small talk. If you don’t want to do small talk, most people can read it in your body language, but they will always appreciate the fact that you acknowledge their presence and can’t fault you for not wanting to talk. 

Edited January 24, 2021 by Guest

[Guest People]

35 minutes ago, Blow away said:

There are many ways to appear as aloof, rude or haolian. One of the best way is to look at a person you know and not acknowledge his presence.

 

if you were that person, how would you feel? If you don’t think that you were being ignored or you appeared as transparent, then you don’t belong to this planet.

 

So if you don’t wish to feel hypocritical, just a hi, a smile or a greeting would do. It’s basic courtesy or respect. No need to do small talk. If you don’t want to do small talk, most people can read it in your body language, but they will always appreciate the fact that you acknowledge their presence and can’t fault you for not wanting to talk. 

I understood. Maybe they were hurt. And think I was haolian or rude. But I really cant control myself. I dont know why I was panic. Is just that 1 minute. If only I can travel back 1 minute before, I think I can do it. In my head after that, I was thinking why and if only or I can do this and that. Next time can do it better. But comes next time, sometimes I fail again. Why I'm such a timid person. Even a woman more braver than me. 

[Guest People]

7 hours ago, Seekgoodsucker said:

 

If you merely doing that so you would  NOT appear unfriendly/ unprofessional, just a nod/ a smile/ casual greetings should suffice. 

 

If you’re not good at making small talks, I strongly encourage you not attempting to make any. Often, there’s a higher chance of you making it MORE awkward than it already is. 

 

It’s your nature (not being chatty), and so, to try & force your nature(s) to be other than what they are, is absurd. 

Is always aftermath and after read all the sharing and advices, then I understood what the other parties were feeling eventhough I thought I'm doing people no harm. Maybe subconsciously I was haolian and bo chap with people. But I can predict that 90% chances, I will repeat the same coward behaviour again. Now I will tell myself to do better next time. Abit confidence. The only way I think I can do it is when I think people are really really angry, then I can muster the courage to do it or when I really really in overdrive or crazy mood. I will exxagerate my every move like bowing like a korean or japanese style. But other than these 2 scenarios, I will turn back into a timid, invisible man. 

[Guest]

20 minutes ago, Guest People said:

I understood. Maybe they were hurt. And think I was haolian or rude. But I really cant control myself. I dont know why I was panic. Is just that 1 minute. If only I can travel back 1 minute before, I think I can do it. In my head after that, I was thinking why and if only or I can do this and that. Next time can do it better. But comes next time, sometimes I fail again. Why I'm such a timid person. Even a woman more braver than me. 

The only problem is that you overthink and your overthinking goes into overdrive. All you need to learn to relax and not think about it. Once you are relaxed, you will know the natural and right thing to do the next time.

[Guest]

10 minutes ago, Guest People said:

Is always aftermath and after read all the sharing and advices, then I understood what the other parties were feeling eventhough I thought I'm doing people no harm. Maybe subconsciously I was haolian and bo chap with people. But I can predict that 90% chances, I will repeat the same coward behaviour again. Now I will tell myself to do better next time. Abit confidence. The only way I think I can do it is when I think people are really really angry, then I can muster the courage to do it or when I really really in overdrive or crazy mood. I will exxagerate my every move like bowing like a korean or japanese style. But other than these 2 scenarios, I will turn back into a timid, invisible man. 

First you like to put yourself down. But what’s the point? 
 

You are not alone anyway. Many people don’t enjoy doing small talk.

 

My workplace has more than 100 colleagues. If I have to do small talk with everyone then I will have no time for proper work. In fact I keep to myself and not want to interact with everyone except 1 or 2.

 

I have 1 big boss and 3 bosses and many higher ranked superiors. I only made sure I recognize my big boss and greet her whenever I bump into her. I don’t quite care about the rest but would smile at them whenever I bump into them. Spare me the small talk please. 
 

2 of my bosses came together to my desk to do some small talk with me. Did I enjoy it? Of cos not! But you just play along with it. 
 

Trust me. Many people are not good with making small talk. Maybe even our bosses. 
 

But people who are good with gossiping and have found their gossip kakis are the ones who are good at small talk. Do you want to be like them?

 

So there is nothing wrong with not being able to do small talk well or not wanting to do small talk. There is no need to put yourself down just because you can’t do small talk.
 

 

[Guest Guest]

On 1/23/2021 at 11:16 AM, Guest People said:

What do you usually say to people you meet in the lift or bump into your boss? Something to break the ice? For someone who dont talk alot or good at conversation?

 

  

 

 

[Guest People]

2 hours ago, Blow away said:

The only problem is that you overthink and your overthinking goes into overdrive. All you need to learn to relax and not think about it. Once you are relaxed, you will know the natural and right thing to do the next time.

I think this is what Eckhart Tolle said to be in the present. I think I overthink that people is gossiping about me. Everyone been talking about me. If I look at people maybe they will throw shade at me. Or will say something sarcastic to me. So I dont have the courage to look them in the eyes or prevent from getting those shades. I need to learn like you said, to just smile to them whether I think they angry with me or not. 

[Guest People]

1 hour ago, Guest Guest said:

 

  

 

 

I would want to be like John Cena. Strong, loud, clear and assertive voice. I have a chicky voice.

[Seekgoodsucker]

1 hour ago, Guest People said:

I think this is what Eckhart Tolle said to be in the present. I think I overthink that people is gossiping about me. Everyone been talking about me. If I look at people maybe they will throw shade at me. Or will say something sarcastic to me. So I dont have the courage to look them in the eyes or prevent from getting those shades. I need to learn like you said, to just smile to them whether I think they angry with me or not. 

 

I strongly believe you’re missing some interpretation in EckTolle’s guidance. By being in the present, he meant to say that you just go with the flow, and let the event unfold however it will. No second-guessing, “no anticipation, no doubts”— at every instance. This is, I assumed, is just half of half in its entire meaning. 

 

I had to hear different teachings/ way of phrasing the explanation from different Teachers (mainly Alan Watts, JKrishna, etc) to understand its intended depth.

 

For example:

• by creating this topic, you are already overthinking, leading to anticipation of the future 

• that equals, you’re not in the present, you’re in your head (your mind is ALREADY in the future) 

 

• but it’s your nature to overthink & “by right” you would make this topi, discussion— incidentally, BY CHANCE,  if somehow you successfully stopped yourself from (initially) creating this topic. 

• that, is a concrete proof of your reconsideration (anticipating the future possibilities) and decided not to. 

 

 

So, in summary the teaching of “be in the present”, means that you should just do whatever you deemed right, take things as they are, and don't spend too much time in your head— just let things be.

Edited January 24, 2021 by Seekgoodsucker

[Guest]

5 hours ago, Guest People said:

I think this is what Eckhart Tolle said to be in the present. I think I overthink that people is gossiping about me. Everyone been talking about me. If I look at people maybe they will throw shade at me. Or will say something sarcastic to me. So I dont have the courage to look them in the eyes or prevent from getting those shades. I need to learn like you said, to just smile to them whether I think they angry with me or not. 

Glad u have the courage to address this issue and find solutions.

 

people will always do what they like, not what is right. All you need to do is not to give your power away to them. Think about it. They are hurting you by gossiping about you (if it’s true) yet you are the one who dare not face them. People who dare not speak to you directly are cowards. If you stare at them, they will actually back off. Not that they will stop gossiping but at least they know that that’s the only thing they are capable of.

 

actually the most important thing for you is to do your best at work. This will give you the confidence in knowing that you have done your best. Wherever you go at your workplace, you will exude self confidence.

[fab]

Once the back is broken,  the ice will be broken too.

[Dart]

On 1/23/2021 at 11:16 AM, Guest People said:

What do you usually say to people you meet in the lift or bump into your boss? Something to break the ice? For someone who dont talk alot or good at conversation?

 

A simple smile followed by Good morning/afternoon/evening will do.