End of a relationship

[Benzz8]

Happy CNY all!

 

I would like to seek some advice.. so my partner initiate that we remain friends recently... reason for that is because of his family and job.. and he is reaaaally overwhelmed.. 

 

We had been together for 5 months. All was smooth until suddenly he needed full attention to his family and job due to some personal issue.. he said he was sinking and he needs to cut some ties to keep him afloat..he has cut his friends, his own personal time, and now me... cos he cant cut his family, and the job which needs to support the family. He said he will need at least 3 years until things can settle.

 

Him being young, suddenly having to shoulder such responsibilities alone isnt easy.

 

I do not agree to the break up and we both agreed things are smooth between us. But he say he is dying. So i told him we will manage this piece together and move on. But he declined. He say he cant have a burden of having a rs for now.

 

Me being the older one, i decided not to push him further as im afraid he cant take it.  I'll give him e space he needs. He even transferred me some money (which he didn't owe), maybe as a sign that he don't want anymore commitment.

 

For me, i think all he needs is support and i can wait for him to be ready while helping him...im not even a desperate guy... and i treasure him cos he is really a gem... 

 

What i plan to do gg forward will just be there for him... an invisible person who he can go to if he needs. Maybe meet up one in a while to catch up, like friends do. I will want to make sure he is doing okay once in a while too. Until the day he is ready, i hope he can let us have a chnace to continue where we paused.

 

Sorry for the long rant... and if u managed to read till here, can u advise if what i plan to do will be fine? I really dun wan to pressure him more.  And i know this breakup is not justifiable given that its caused by external factors which has nth to do w trust or betrayal.... 

 

Thank you..

Edited February 14, 2021 by Benzz8

[wilfgene]

Even more importantly, what have you learnt about yourself from this episode?

Where does your limitations lay?

Are you accepting them?

Are you allowing your life to go on or are you harping on him?

Care to draw inspiration from those on 'Being a Gay Christian' thread?

[lightsmith32]

The nice thing is that he is responsible and moved away nicely. I recommend that yoi take time to heal, accept and be happy. Become friends and keep the relationship beautiful.

 

Relationships come in many dimensions but love only has 1. It accepts and evolves but remains.

 

I wish you luck.

[mijsdlog]

It's kind of you to accommodate his wish to change the nature of the relationship.

You clearly love him enough to want him to be free.

This is the right thing to do for now.

But you need to gauge over the next few months whether the idea of him resuming the partnership is realistic. As much as it may hurt, you have to consider the possibility that the he may not come back. Don't let yourself be left hanging on. As good as you think he is for you, there are others.

[BudakFit]

Older guys have this maturity and tend to be more loyal faithful then the young ones...if I were you let him go and stay as friends. High chance he might prefer pussy or his age types. Generation gaps do play a part. But if you truly love him, let him go but stay as friends. It is only 5mths both still can move on and still stay as friends. 

 

For you, move on and it is nothing wrong to say hi etc meet coffee dinner..and look forward for better opportunities to come. 

 

Love is pain hurt but better opportunities that will come by in coming future.