Emotionally attached vs sexually attracted

[Guest Passerby]

I agree with those who suggest to take advices here with a grain of salt.

 

There are good and bad advices here, some may sound well and packaged nicely, but we would never know the true political/bias nature of it. Disclaimer, this is a neutral comment.

 

OP/TS need to find his own answer by himself through his own belief. Looking for answer here seems like may only throw up more confusion than answers. But for one i know, OP/TS need not look for a label to live under. Labels are self-made.

[Guest No name]

1 hour ago, Guest Passerby said:

If OP is confused and need help to sort his thoughts, he should look for a neutral counsellor. However all counsellors are not supposed to lead the client or advice the client. 
 

if OP wants answers, he should look for a medically certified sex therapist, since his issue of disgust should fall within the scope of help of a sex therapist. 

Agree. As seen here, too many cooks spoil the broth.

[firefight]

On 4/11/2021 at 3:31 PM, Guest confused said:

hi, just wanna some opinion here. i'm a closeted... ok i dont even know how to label myself. since young i have been sexually attracted to guys. i watch gay porn and fantasise over the cute boys that i see, and i do not have any sexual desire over girls. when i imagine myself having sex with girls i just feel a little disgusted. but the thing is, i feel i can never be emotionally attached to guys. i don't think i can ever be in love with guys and settle down with them for some reason. on the other hand, i have love interests and they are all girls. i wanna woo them but at the same time im very confused over my sexuality. if i get together with the girl i like i dont think i will ever be able to satisfy her sexually. i'm just curious i dont know whats going on help.

Wait until you find someone you cannot pass one day without thinking about

 

Love is not about yourself. Lust is about yourself. 

[Guest Lightning]

2 hours ago, PlayersGroup said:

No need to bother abt how many actual guests there are. Astroturfing is old, like catfishing and digital insurgents. If they allude to different shades of the same thing in different tones and voices, it's still the same thing whether they are 1, 3 or 5 or more.

 

Passerby, if "research" says gayness is caused by absent father, dominant mother, exposure to porn, but u still find plenty of gays where these factors doesn't apply, or conversely u find plenty of guys with these factors but turns out straight, then they are at best just very poor associations (not causes), basically very bad theories. And if they use very bad theories to support conversion therapy, people should think twice.

 

As for your (a bit abrupt) excitement over bondage, thanks for ur interest, but I'm sure you can find other avenues.

Following is my personal opinion, just believe I should weigh in.
 

PlayersGroup is very smart, trying to discredit research and statistical findings in a very subtle and nice way.

 

I believe we should not discredit research findings if they are credible just because it is not agreeable with our mindset. I have looked into many such researches and I do not find them to be baseless.

 

I sense underlying biases although he tries to appear neutral.

[PlayersGroup]

Don't need to "sense" I say no to conversion therapy. If ppl disagree it's up to them too. I may not be quarrelsome,  but I'm not neutral.

 

As for questioning research, of course. It's how some theories get better than others over time. Individual bias or mindset are beside the point.

 

Edited April 18, 2021 by PlayersGroup

[Guest Pissed]

1 hour ago, PlayersGroup said:

Don't need to "sense" I say no to conversion therapy. If ppl disagree it's up to them too. I may not be quarrelsome,  but I'm not neutral.

 

As for questioning research, of course. It's how some theories get better than others over time. Individual bias or mindset are beside the point.

 

U r misleading. I read all the post, i see counselling and sex therapy, but i did not see conversion therapy mentioned. i often only see the term conversion therapy used mostly by gays to disagree with offers of help that challenges n mindset n comfort. it is up to individual if they want to be helped or reject the help, why the need to always politicalise thing.
 

as we cannot deny that there r people who accept as gay n bi, we also cannot deny that there people who r once gay and bi but not anymore. We also cannot deny people who hav sexual feelings but cannot accept as gay n bi.

 

what i find most sickening from first hand experience is gays like to tell people to accept the sexual feeling as an identity n label. i tried sexual activities wif guys before, but i always regret it because there is an empty feeling. over time i feel the weariness of this regret n gays like to exploit this weariness of mine n suggest acceptance.. what is there to accept, something is not complete means is not complete, there is nothing for me to accept. i can also call this conversion therapy am i right

 

how many guys try sexual stuff as some suggests n regret it n end up hav to “accept” it to get out of the weariness of regret. this is bad advice that mislead the confused, u can believe what u wan but do not mislead people

[Guest pissed]

ya some theories get better than others over time, but history n observation tells us it is always the popular theories n opinions that r accepted disregarding the credibility n the sense of it. 

 

Individual bias or mindset r beside the point because society calls the shot, it does not matter if it is ok or not. it is up to individual n society to determine. what we r seeing today r western ideas of lgbt that is trying hard to influence our society after infiltrating our society. labels r birth r those ideas which no where found in wider history except recent western history

[Guest Pissed]

On 4/16/2021 at 5:39 PM, Guest Passerby said:

To be fair, not all of us become gay cos we lack a father figure, have a dominant mother, cos they are the first born, 2nd born, 3rd born,  only child etc etc. Although yes there are those among us, whom i know personally have absent father figure, one of them have an absent father and dominant mother.

 

So yes these research may make a point but most of the science behind sexuality is too complex and one sided.

 

The biases and politicised nature of this topic make it even more difficult to understand it. Others even call it an ideology now.

 

This may be a backlash on me, I may be gay but i don’t believe it to be innate. The so-called science doesn’t convince me. It gives me more questions than answers.

from an outsider point of view on my handful of gay n bi friends. most of them either hav broken families or poor /weak relationship with their fathers since young even if the father is physically around. they will share about growing up experiences to me n it is clear from an outsider viewpoint, but they will not acknowledge that they hav absent father or that kind of family structure influenced them

[PlayersGroup]

Guest ah, im sorry to hear of your weariness and feelings of regret and emptiness and bad experiences with regards to gay sex. The gay community, as with any community, is not a bed of roses and sometimes can be harsh. You don't have to do what you don't want to do or be who you don't want to be.

 

It is, however, important to understand that others can have very different experiences. There is no need to assume ppl who have very different experiences and views are misleading.

 

I am fortunate enough to have very loving parents who accepts me, and had long-running monogamous loving relationships. They did not last, but I continue to see others that is still working out fine.

 

Long long before the West brought up LGBT ideas, LGBT people already existed. Some societies are very accepting, others are not. It was very very difficult before internet. Some things are easier now. But it is not less difficult and sometimes even more complicated with the internet.

 

It is understandable to worry about where society is going, especially when it seems to be going somewhere you don't agree with, whether is the gay issue or any issue. The world is a big place, there are many people all trying to make meaning out of our lives and different things to ponder or solve. We can do it with goodwill n a happy state of mind, slowly and with respect. If we can't agree, is ok to take a deep breath and focus on many other things we can agree on. Peace.

 

Edited April 18, 2021 by PlayersGroup

[G_M]

Get back to the topic!