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Why can't people treat me the way I treat them?


onlinetxxt

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When you try to put a measure on how much good treatment you Should get from treating people "Nice & Good" you will surely be disappointed.

It don't work that way.

The bigger the expectation, the greater the disappointment.

Because you are not genuine.

 

Then there are the type of kindness where they are termed, 烂好人! Don't be mistaken for 烂鸟人!

烂好人means 烂好人就是那种对人有求必应,不管对与错什么事都去做的人。富有同情心,主张宽容,不明智没主见。代表人物《东郭先生救狼》

 

Just be you. If you are kind and good. just don't let people take advantage of you. Don't have to do everything people want of you and becomes 烂好人.

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Guest So trying
11 minutes ago, onlinetxxt said:

i told myself alot of times to stop trying to be nice and please everyone but ended up i am still.......

I didn't know that being nice can be "tried".  I thought it came naturally without needing to struggle with it?   Just like a dog can also be nice and loyal even when you scold him.  Whereas a tiger cub will eat you up eventually for nursing it until it became an adult.  It is an instinct behaviour.  It applies to human being.  some people are by nature cruel, others are by nature compassionate.  Your natural kindness will draw you to the latter without needing to try.

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1 minute ago, Guest So trying said:

I didn't know that being nice can be "tried".  I thought it came naturally without needing to struggle with it?   Just like a dog can also be nice and loyal even when you scold him.  Whereas a tiger cub will eat you up eventually for nursing it until it became an adult.  It is an instinct behaviour.  It applies to human being.  some people are by nature cruel, others are by nature compassionate.  Your natural kindness will draw you to the latter without needing to try.

Same goes for me. When i am being nice it just come naturally. 

perhaps my kindness has drawn me to cruel person

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Correct!! i always wanted people to like me and hence i kept doing things to please them until  i forgotten that i need to be respected too..

 

One example. There's 3 friends didn't like another friend so naturally i was influenced by them and i started not to like the other friend but now when i think back i felt so stupid.

Edited by onlinetxxt
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Guest Right ?
10 minutes ago, onlinetxxt said:

was influenced by them and i started not to like the other friend but now when i think back i felt so stupid.

You are infected with karma.

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1 hour ago, onlinetxxt said:

It's like i treat people nice & good because i want them to treat me the same but it seems like it's the different way round.

 

People treating my kindness like as if i owed them.

 

Sigh

 

You are doing fine being nice & good.  But don't forget to be nice & good... TO YOURSELF.

 

Respect others but over all respect yourself and expect to be treated with respect.

If respect is not given,  respect yourself by not blaming yourself for the lack of respect, as if you deserve disrespect, but find the disrespectful at fault. 

 

The alternative to nice & good is not to be ugly & bad.   Instead, it is to NOT be nice & good,  while not having to be ugly & bad.  

Learn to be fair to yourself by not making favors to someone who does not give you respect or is otherwise not deserving of your favors.

.

Edited by Steve5380
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Guest Nice is overrated

You can't change the world by being nice! 

 

I find it hilarious that rich cdelebriry like Ellen who get rich from exploiting the concept of spreading kindness. 

 

Its hard to be nice when your job everyday is to clean toilet and the toilet bowl. 

 

If I'm a toilet cleaner I wouldn't want someone to be nice to me by "hello, how are you?" 

 

It's so cheap. This kind of kindness is for the person to fell good. 

 

I rather you be nice by lifting the toilet seat when you pee. I rather you be nice by not wasting so many paper towel. I rather you be nice by aiming into the urinal and not pee all over the floor. 

 

I rather you be nice by flushing the toilet and not let your shit residues fly all over the toilet bowl and stick to it. 

 

There are many ways to be nice that doesn't involve "cheering and clapping for your health care front line". How about you be nice by wearing your god damn mask whenever you are in public and not wear it like a fashion statement. Nobody want to see your chin diaper. 

 

Sitting at the coffee shop doesn't grant you temporary immunity from saliva. If you aren't taking a sip or eating. Wear your fooking mask. 

 

Being nice is making the sacrifice like everybody else for the greater good so health are worker don't die. Not by cheering and making noise. Cheap action that only benefit the people who cheer. Non of the healthcare worker feel invigorated by the support. 

 

Instead you woke some of them up from their nap before going to their shift... 

 

The world we live in are not nice. 

So many social media bully. So many hate. So many nasty comments. 

 

This is the reality of the world. 

It's not because of anonymity. It's not because of troll. 

 

It's because the world we live in is shit. 

We are all full of shit. Unless if you just dump your load in the toilet and made a huge mess for the toilet auntie to clean. 

 

Ywah be nice and smile at her and ask her whether she has eaten while she goes into the stinky toilet and discovering the huge mess you left behind. 

 

Dont be nice. 

 

Be considerate.

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4 hours ago, onlinetxxt said:

Correct!! i always wanted people to like me and hence i kept doing things to please them until  i forgotten that i need to be respected too..

 

One example. There's 3 friends didn't like another friend so naturally i was influenced by them and i started not to like the other friend but now when i think back i felt so stupid.

 

oh no, you sounded so lost. are you alright mate? 

 

I was once like that. Wanted to be accepted. Wanted to fit in. As you grow up, you will learn to love yourself more.

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12 hours ago, onlinetxxt said:

It's like i treat people nice & good because i want them to treat me the same but it seems like it's the different way round.

 

People treating my kindness like as if i owed them.

 

Sigh

 

To me, it is a wrong concept that when we treat others well, they will reciprocate. Everyone sees things differently. It is not wrong, however, to give ourselves a tap on the shoulder to do the right thing.

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2 hours ago, onlinetxxt said:

The social circle.

 

How old are you? 
 

Generally, as you get older, you have more than one circle and these circles may or may not overlap. This would then avoid these types of situations because you are not reliant on the acceptance of a clique. 

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