Cheating Boyfriend / Lover + Why Cheat when In a Relationship? (Compiled)

[musclechub]

What will u do when u found out that your lover is fxxking around with another guy and you came to know who this guy is and his contact.Will you confront this guy or what will u do.I need advice from experience guys here.Thanks

[Guest Guest]

It is either you close one eye and learn to accept it

OR be prepared to say good bye !!!

[Guest Frankly]

I know this is a hurtful situation for anyone and I am sorry.

But frankly speaking...

It is really between the 2 of you. The third party should not shoulder all the blame.

This has happened because there are problems in your relationship with each other. Either you guys seldom talk about issues, or ur bf is a lier... if he is a lier, you also have to bear part of the responsibility of not knowing who you are in love with. Reaccess your relationship. It is pointless to confront the 3rd party and putting the blame on others. Have a heart to heart talk with ur bf and move on from there... try to find out what caused his unfaitfulness. Is he willing to change... or are u willing to accept him if he doesn't.

[Guest ooommmm]

This has happened because there are problems in your relationship with each other. Either you guys seldom talk about issues, or ur bf is a lier... if he is a lier, you also have to bear part of the responsibility of not knowing who you are in love with. Reaccess your relationship. It is pointless to confront the 3rd party and putting the blame on others. Have a heart to heart talk with ur bf and move on from there... try to find out what caused his unfaitfulness. Is he willing to change... or are u willing to accept him if he doesn't.

this is, indeed, words of wisdom. when anything wrong is happening to us, it is always good to reflect within before we act.

in the case of the threadstarter, focus on the relationship - work from out in [meaning, highlight what is bothering you and your found 'accusation' into the relationship and see how you and your bf can work it out].

dont waste your energy to be angry - it just wont help. communicate openly and honestly.

good luck, brother.

[kengchenyau]

well, i know how whether u believe or not. the last time i found out my ex sleep around. i get the number and then contact the guy. but not to confront him. i sleep with that guy too and then arrange for a 3some .. appeared in the room and ask for a break up.

[kerbee10]

执着只带来痛苦，放手只会带来悲伤，

是你的始终是你的，不是你的也不需要太强求，

那就要看你对这爱情的定律是如何对待，

是真正的爱情，还是过火云烟的相伴，

如这首歌，恋人，爱人，明天离开你的人。

祝你找到真爱。

[quest4mnm]

Forgive him because human being are weak in the flesh, if u still love him and he still truly love u. Sometimes it hard to find one suitable bf in life. Tell him not to hide things from u in future. If possible find out wat the reason why he is doing this. That is the most important thing.

[Buaya]

I had the chance to write down the numbers... I did not... Regretted it teh next day, but subsequently, thought that it might be better that I did not do what I want to do... It seems that as men, there will always exist this tendency to fxxk around... Or in some cases, be fxxked around... It's sad but I guess it is better to close one eye... especially if you 2 had been together for some years and are still in love... If you 2 are still counting in months, then you might consider just dumping him... Cos this will keep happening...

Good luck...

[Guest Lulu]

It seems that as men, there will always exist this tendency to fxxk around... Or in some cases, be fxxked around.

I am sure you are speaking for yourself too darling! .....don't make me go back and dig up what you personally had admitted and done in this forum. Just kidding dear.

Takes two hands to clap. Your bf fxxks arounds, you fxxks around. Everyone fxxks around. How do you think the world goes round? It is gyrating from all the billions of humpings that happen 24/7.

You might not want to tell people to dump their boyfriend unless you have done the same yourself. So are you happily single and available?

[Buaya]

Lulu... Its been a while eh?

Well, I never say it does not apply to myself... That's why I also dun wanna pry too deep into the matter... And try to relax about it...

The thing that matters, though... Is that your lover/partner/bf should ALWAYS give you priority over his sex partners/buddies...

That is one problem I (might be) face(ing) from my bf, but that is my problem lah... No need to discuss that, you guys already read about it...

[newguy2l]

ahhh! it always amazes me that in this day and age there are still people who believe in rose-tinted love and innocence and fidelity

take this from someone who's been around the block a few times

the reality of life is that everyone f--s around

your dad, uncle, friends - everyone

business trips, sales, golf games, hiking trips - all excuses for playing around

and this includes heterosexual relationships too

my advice - close one eye and ignore it

as long as your guy comes home to you at night

and gives you the usual loving you get all the time

let him get a bit of fun outside

love does not mean you own all of him

if the bird flys away and comes home ?? how does this saying end?

[bearlova]

I agree with Frankly, when things like this happens, no point confronting the 3rd party. Basically it happened because something is wrong or missing in the relationship and the couple does not or chooses not to talk about it. What musclechub should do is to assess his relationship with his BF and decide what they want for the future, if both are still mutually in love, no problems cannot be ironed out...everything we do depends on what we want and the choices we make. I am sorry I don't believe the prevailing belief that all men fxxk around and closing one eye to the obvious. Sex is sex and betrayal is betrayal... better to be honest with ourselves, it's so easy to fall back to what is deemed conventional, why don't we aspire to be exceptional ?

[Guest Guest]

OK, sorry but I am side tracking fo a moment.

Newguy, because of your above comment which I thought was very sensible and logical, I was impressed enough to notice you are a senior member with 49 posts.

Wow, I said to myself, a new guy age 21 can be so sensible and logical - I am impressed. I probably did not notice your other posts because generally I skip posts made by people who are 21 years old.

Well well, what do we know? Newguy is not 21 but 50 years old!! Because of the way the nick looks, it is Newguy2l (upper cap "I" or low cap "l") and not Newguy21. Another member Crazygolfer also made the same mistake, referring to you as Newguy21 last year in the HongKong sauna thread about Yuk Tak Chee.

If I had known you are a matured gentleman earlier, no thanks to the confusion created by your nick, I would have already hunted you down, re-energised your fading libido and makes you feel like a 21 years old new guy again.

But, since you are into younger guys that can squirt 10 times (you counted) continuously, and I am almost as old as you, I will have to lust and fantasized about you from a distance in this virtual world.

[Guest skater]

Monogamy is a very recent western/christian institution concept adopted widely due to the rise of western powers.

If you look at history, ancient china, india even greek there is no concept of monogamy, guys can fxxk around, homosexuality is accepted/tolerated.

Biologically men are inbuilt to fxxk around as much as possible to spread his genes as much as possible.

If you can look beyond this very recent western concept of marriage and monogamy which applies to heterosexual couples, sex will not be an issue in gay couples.

Most couples I have seen been in relationship for many years have survived due to being able to being able to adopt an open/limited open relationship ie there is sex with outsiders.

Most who wanted the monogamy version always break up due to betrayal, or are 'eating' behind partners back anyway.

If your partner enjoys sex outside, let him....dont be so selfish to keep him for yourself.

Sex is to be enjoy and feel good about, not something that brings sadness, anger, betrayal etc. Please separate love from sex and you will be fine. Dont try to emulate the institution of mariage....we are not str8 we dont have kids to raise or protect.

We are gays ...sex will be always a big lure and easily available.

Not asking you to orgy around...but sex is not a bad thing per se...it is the human psychology

[Baby Face]

newguy2l,

Can I ask you, "how long can you close one eye and ignore it, as long as your guy comes home to you at night, and gives you the usual loving you get all the time

let him get a bit of fun outside"?

When both are in Monogamously coupled, they have to be in mutual trust and faithful to one another, and not f--s around. Monogamously coupled mean "the practice of having a sexual relationship with only one partner during a period of time".

If your bf want to f--s around, and you closed one eye and ignore it then be an open relationship and not monogamously coupled. I know that it is easily to say this and that.

I agree with Frankly and bearlova. It is all up individual that he want do it for the sakes of his bf or not.

I had experience with my first ex with closing my eye and ignore it when I caught red handed. He initated the break off after I caught him red handed the second time. :swear:

I do not want my bf to be shared with another. Neither do my bf want.

[thaiboyz]

This situation is tough and can hurt greatly. I agreed that its pointless to approach the third party as most of the time, he has not been told the truth. Suggest both of you need to sit down and analyse things. Can both of you accept an open relationship ? If not, how to compromise the situation ? If you insist on strictly one to one, qnd its hard for your other half to commit, i guess separation is the solution to avoid further hurting.

[mature40s]

Allow me to share the experience of a good friend who was in the same situation. My friend strongly believes in a monogamous relationship. His partner agreed to commit to an exclusive relationship. After a while, his bf started to stray. When my friend found out, he confronted his bf. His bf threatened to break off. As my friend loved his bf so much, he was willing to compromise and close one eye as long as his bf comes back to him at the end of the day. With the leash being loosen, his bf became worse. Finally, my friend was dumped by his bf .... morale of the story??????

[bearlova]

I guess judging from the response so far, one can deduce that basically it all boils down to what you really want from a relationship, there's no wrong or right. To some an "open relationship' is not a relationship ( more like fxxk buddies living together ), to others it's good enough. I think that in musclechub's case, since he is so affected by the whole thing, he is not into an open relationship and hence he has to work things out with his BF. A monogamous relationship has it's beauty in that you ensure that both of you are only meant for each other, emotionally and sexually. When your partner strays it means that something is not right in the relationship and he is trying to "satisfy" himself outside. A lot of PLU say that a monogamous PLU relationship does not exist, I think we should always think positive rather than to just give up trying.... maybe I am just overly optimistic...

[Guest Frankly]

To put it simply.

It does exist, but it is extremely rare.

First ask yourself, are you that rare person who is cut out for such monogamous relationship. If not, stop whining that it does not exist. The fact that it does not exist for you is due to your make-up, but that doesn't mean it can't exist for others. You can't deny that someone out there could be a better man.

Let the normal people fxxk around with each other and the rare ones enjoy thier ideal love monogamously.

[Guest Godfather]

I am 48 years old and have seen my fair share of gay relationships that blossomed and died. Please do not be personally offended by what I am going to say. This is only my observation from my years of experience.

Being as old as I am, I have personally knew more than couple hundreds of gay couples, many are just acquaintances and some are friends. Honestly, I have not come across a gay couple that is 100% monogamous on both parties. Either both strayed or at least one of them did.

In my personal observation, gay couples generally do not stay together for more than 3~4 years. Of course there are some that last longer than that, and some that breaks off after a few months. Straying by one or both parties may not be the only reason but it is definitely a big contributing factor.

I knew a few couples that are together for more than 15 years and sorry to say, they all have their flings. What is important I observed is that they never bring back a third party to share. The concept of " I don't care if you eat outside, just don't let me see or know" is I think what kept them together for so long.

Another observation: The party that is most hurt by his partner's straying is usually overly sensitive and the "weaker" partner in the relationship. I am walking a thin line by saying this but this is what I had noticed over the years. They seemed more insecure, for whatever reasons, and they feel tremendously threatened by their partner's outside activities. They then tried to cling even more closely to their partners and as can be shown in many cases, the partners suffocate and leave them.

I also observe in such cases, these insecure and sensitive people are bottoms. Even if they are versatile, they are generally the bottom in their relationship with their partners.

Before you start your sharpening and throwing your knifes at me, I want you to think and ponder over my following questions.

You are already in a "steady" relationship:

1) Have you ever had a fling locally or overseas on holidays?

2) Do you go to the saunas alone or together with your partner?

3) If someone 100% your type comes along and absolutely adores you, wouldn't you have a fling? Be honest here.

4) Are you a bottom or generally the weaker party in your relationship?

5) Have you had a threesome with your partner and another man?

6) Ever had a massage that ended with a special?

7) Finally, if you apply the above 6 questions to all your gay friends who are in a relationship, how many of them would be able to answer "no" to all the questions?

One last thing, you might believe you are in a monogamous relationship. Think again. Can you believe 100% your partner also is?

Newguy is absolutely right. As long as your partner still shows you the same amount of loving, you might not want to let your insecurity scare him away. There is a saying "Ignorance is bliss" and another "What you do not know will not hurt you."

Good Luck and Happiness to all those in a relationship!

[Guest Believer]

Godfather wrote:

Please do not be personally offended by what I am going to say. This is only my observation from my years of experience.

Honestly, I have not come across a gay couple that is 100% monogamous on both parties. Either both strayed or at least one of them did.

You wrote with conviction and there is nothing that I, personally, would get offended. I am 47 and am in a long-term relationship. This year, it would be my 20th year.

You are right about your observation - I am one, amongst the many gay couples, that is NOT 100% monogamous. It first took place when my relationship was in the 4th/5th year (I can't recall). Looking back, it had to do with my insatiable desire that was not fully satisfied with my partner. It happened with consciousness, that if I would get caught, it would probably break the relationship.

That episode, however, opened my eyes - that "all new broom sweeps clean" and that I have a sexual problem with my partner. I was aching for sex yet there was an imbalance sexual appetite between us.

Personally, I felt blessed that I chose to talk about it with my partner then. It was not easy as it dealt with very personal issue, touching on personal ego. We argued, we cried and for a simple reason that we both wanted to be together, we were able to compromise.

To me, what is important in a relationship, is about knowing what is important - in my case, i want to love him and to be with him. Only when the seed is planted, that every other problems can be resolved.

Godfather wrote:

I also observe in such cases, these insecure and sensitive people are bottoms. Even if they are versatile, they are generally the bottom in their relationship with their partners.

I respect your observation and probably it is true. However, my partner and me are not bottom - infact, we are not into anal.

It is true though, that we both are very sensitive to each other. We sense each other's moods easily. Thankfully, we adopted a principle that we need to sit down and talk the minute we 'smell' a problem.

1) Have you ever had a fling locally or overseas on holidays?

Yes

2) Do you go to the saunas alone or together with your partner?

Yes

3) If someone 100% your type comes along and absolutely adores you, wouldn't you have a fling? Be honest here.

Yes. Usually when this happens, we will tell each other about it.

4) Are you a bottom or generally the weaker party in your relationship?

No. Both of us are strong minded - guess, what brings us together is the ability to understand each other; we often try to put ourselves in each other's shoe to understand the emotion.

5) Have you had a threesome with your partner and another man?

Yes

6) Ever had a massage that ended with a special?

Yes. Honestly, we often seek a masseur that will provide the service.

7) Finally, if you apply the above 6 questions to all your gay friends who are in a relationship, how many of them would be able to answer "no" to all the questions?

Just like you, Godfather, I have a fair share of my observation with friends. It is always a pattern where, if someone truly believes that a gay relationship is, and should be 100% monogamous, that this guy tends to undergo a series of failed relationship. Often, when the relationship ended, the mindset is about the BF's attitude and not him.

Of all the friends that I know, perhaps, it is 1 out of 10 that would say "No". Unfortunately, this 1 is having more stress in his relationship.

Personally, when gay accepts that gay relationship is a journey of rollercoaster, it prepares the mind to focus only on the basic need of "Want". This "Want" is about whether you want to live your life to love your partner.

The reality to life is - we make mistakes. And the question is - 'Are we so perfect that we cannot accept someone's wrong doing?'

[newguy2l]

a little side track here is in order I think

hee hee - I got a secret admirer - guest

too bad he didnt leave a pm no for me to contact

I just wanted to clarify my moniker - newguy2l

I didnt intentionally want to mislead people about my age

I initially wanted to be known as newgay - to explore my new gaylife

then I thought it was too obvious - still closetted

so chose newguy

but this was already chosen by someone else

so i needed to add some numbers

why not add 2f - for to newguytofxxk

then my modesty arose and objected

so finally settled for 2l - for newguytolove

didnt know it leads to being hit on by 18 yr olds and daddies looking for youngstuds

confusing I know - but thats just how my mind works

sorry - nothing more to add on the main subject

everythings been said

its just romantism&idealism Vs practicalism&reality

[Guest wasteoftime]

threadstarter... how you found secret of your bf... you spy him or look thrugh his personal thing? why you do it? you don't trust or respect him, why you want him to be bf?

[Guest Guest]

aiyah Singapore so small, if you play play easy to people see and tell his bf.

Last time I also accidently saw a bf of long time couple at sauna. At first I also like the other wait outside the dark corridor can listen the piak piak piak of men fxxking inside the room. Listen until I steamed also. Finally the door open and a man quickly walk out. I recognise him but he go the other side so he did not see me.

Like Godfather say I also thought he the top. He look so manly and is the stronger in the relationship like to play around. Then I see the young man still inside the room quite nice so I talk to him that I know that man. He is good fxxker right? So surprised the young man say that uncle is bu one just now he fxxk him until he cry father cry mother. Hehe don't say I kaypoh but this kind of news sure very interesting to gay people like us one.So we exchange details about how he got fxxked.

Anyway I never so kaypoh to tell the other man that his bf is bottom also. But I hear that they sepaerate not long after. Not surprising if he not bottom at least he need service the other man cannot give so he must look outside then one day he found a perfect sex match he sure run away. Like that cannot blame him right?

[Guest Faithful]

1st met him in 1996

get to know him better through the years

he is married with 2 kids

he start to f me with condom

he f me twice every month

every time remind me not to fool around with others

and f me without condom

from 2002 onwards i only have sex with him and no one else

but recently i found out he got many other sex partners

which he f them and let them f

what should i do to him?

[evianguy]

take out your biggest parang when he next tries to fxxk you without a condom!

But seriously, you are as much to blame for this irresponsible sexual practice as he is. Go get tested and start using condoms from now on, good luck!

[GachiMuchi]

I empatised with what has happened to you.

What do you consider yourself to him?

1. Bf?

2. Sexual release

3. Sex buddy

4. His Harem of bottoms

5. All the above

Since you have been with him for so many years, from the way you put it, you have already accepted him as someone dear to you.

I'm surprised that you only found out that he have had many lovers.

I think you have to decide for yourself what you want out of this "relationship". You always have a choice. No one is holding a gun to your head.

It is all up to you.

You might want to go and get a blood test done. Let's just hope you did not contract anything from him.

[Guest Guest]

when you love a married guy,you should be prepare that,even he don't have many sex buddies,i don't think that you have any right to ask for anyting,in the first place you already done something that you should not,so take it or leave it

[Guest empathizer]

i don't wish to be mean, but what takes you so long to find out that he has so many partners?

Are you hurt because you aren't allowed to f him but he allowed others to? If this is the case, you are not his chosen one but merely a f buddy. Leave me and seek your happiness elsewhere.

And GOOD LUCK!

[Guest scary]

You should go for HIV and STD test first.

Next time if u have sex with him, please always use condom.

I guess you already enjoy the sex with him already, and as long as he agrees to use condom, why not just continue having sex with him?

And if he already gave you some STD already, get treated, and then ask him to get treated too. After both are treated, continue to have sex, but with condom.

[Guest Guest]

i dun think it will ever occur to u that he is fxxking around 'behind yr back'

i understand

but technically he does has his rights to do watever he want

w or w/o yr permission cos u guys are not exactly couple

think he is more liable to his wife

not you

leave him

there's many fish in the sea

[kerbee10]

Why is it that you term as "unfaithful"

There is no string or tittle between you 2, correct me if I perceive so....

I should term it as fruitful or unfruitful....

Bear in mind, the process of twice a month, you gain satisfaction, so there is nothing to complaint about, whether he is married or not married, it does not applies.....

If you feel that you are neglected, you should move on to someone who is more sincere in you, and give you the utmost attention in his limits...

Take care and good luck..

cheers

[maledae]

I think is a win win suitable becasue :

1. Don't forget if you have sex with him, you also enjoy it, right, is not like he use force or rape him.

2. You wanted his fxxk so much, you got it, so why complain.

3. What do you want from him, after got fxxk so many years, it time to divorce his wife and married you !

4. If you stop having sex with him, after a while you will miss.

5. Not easy to find a married men to do this if you are bottem. I personally quite like married men, not those very gay type men.

6. Go and enjoy letting him fxxk you and dun ask for any committement cos he is a married men.

7. All gay men have multiple sex partner, eating the same meat everday can be boring.

8. Last, this is how GAY works, whether you like it or not.

[Guest Multiple sex partners]

Yes i agree. I like variety, and I tend to have fun with different people, but safe of course. It depends, some people can't stand monotony. I love variety so much, and cannot imagine having sex with only ONE person all the time!

[citiguy]

7. All gay men have multiple sex partner, eating the same meat everday can be boring.

8. Last, this is how GAY works, whether you like it or not.

Sorry but you have just made a sweeping statement. Not all gay men are like this and who says gay = variety of sex partners? All i know is gay= homosexual = liking a person of the same sex.

So definitely this is not how Gay works though i am not too certain if that is the model u are working on. Don't mislead others. The gay community does not need another bad label. Thanks.

[suckling_pig]

Actually its biological isn't it?

Women are pre-programmed to want a secure home to raise kids. Men are pre-programmed to father as many children as they can. So men tend to be more promiscuous. Agree?

In a straight relationship with one man - one woman, it is the man who usually strays and finds prostitutes etc... . In a G relationship, put 2 men together, and monogamy is really at a disadvantage.

Not impossible, but certainly at a disadvantage.

But I think it is more important to focus on the emotional relationship, not the sexual one. We often relate sex with love, and this reinforced by popular culture (Hollywood and the like). So... if he has sex with someone else, therefore he loves the other person, and therefore he loves me less. I don't know about everyone else, but I certainly know that it is possible to have sex with someone without loving him. It is just getting rid of the horniness.

If one is able to separate sex from love, the relationship will certainly be easier to maintain. But this will necessarily mean that each partner will have to accept the other satisfying his purely physical urges with someone else.

Now I am sure I am going to get hate mail from all the idealists out there.

SP

[Guest Guest]

Actually its biological isn't it?

Women are pre-programmed to want a secure home to raise kids. Men are pre-programmed to father as many children as they can. So men tend to be more promiscuous. Agree?

In a straight relationship with one man - one woman, it is the man who usually strays and finds prostitutes etc... . In a G relationship, put 2 men together, and monogamy is really at a disadvantage.

Not impossible, but certainly at a disadvantage.

But I think it is more important to focus on the emotional relationship, not the sexual one. We often relate sex with love, and this reinforced by popular culture (Hollywood and the like). So... if he has sex with someone else, therefore he loves the other person, and therefore he loves me less. I don't know about everyone else, but I certainly know that it is possible to have sex with someone without loving him. It is just getting rid of the horniness.

If one is able to separate sex from love, the relationship will certainly be easier to maintain. But this will necessarily mean that each partner will have to accept the other satisfying his purely physical urges with someone else.

Now I am sure I am going to get hate mail from all the idealists out there.

SP

I only agree that if the person who flirt around after attach,when he get to know that his lover also sleep with others too he still won't get jealous,sad or angry,cos i feel that he ahs already no right to be angry as he is a slut too...so there is no one betray who...

[Guest Multiple Sex Partners]

Actually its biological isn't it?

Women are pre-programmed to want a secure home to raise kids. Men are pre-programmed to father as many children as they can. So men tend to be more promiscuous. Agree?

In a straight relationship with one man - one woman, it is the man who usually strays and finds prostitutes etc... . In a G relationship, put 2 men together, and monogamy is really at a disadvantage.

Not impossible, but certainly at a disadvantage.

But I think it is more important to focus on the emotional relationship, not the sexual one. We often relate sex with love, and this reinforced by popular culture (Hollywood and the like). So... if he has sex with someone else, therefore he loves the other person, and therefore he loves me less. I don't know about everyone else, but I certainly know that it is possible to have sex with someone without loving him. It is just getting rid of the horniness.

If one is able to separate sex from love, the relationship will certainly be easier to maintain. But this will necessarily mean that each partner will have to accept the other satisfying his purely physical urges with someone else.

Now I am sure I am going to get hate mail from all the idealists out there.

SP

Nope!! No hate mail man!! Well said...

Like it or not, we cannot change nature. In GENERAL (not saying EVERYONE is like that) men tend to stray more than women. Of course, there is the occassional man who is very very monogamous. Then there is the occasional woman who is very very promiscuous. Whatever it is, it is true. In a male/female relationship which was failed due to unfaithfulness, it is more likely that the man is the one who was unfaithful.

That being said, when you are in a relationship, how we wished our partners were 100% faithful, while we could be as unfaithful as we want...wouldn't that be just great?? But it doesn't happen that way...if you want a monogamous relationship, both have to be faithful, else make it clear that it is OPEN and both can find their flings once in a while outside.

I am sort of in a relationship. But I still have my flings. Yet at the same time, I will feel a little disappointed if I knew my partner had his fling too. That sounds selfish, but its human nature.

But I know that if my partner is not getting everything he wises to get in a relationship from me (cos I dun do certain things in sex), it would be inhumane for me to hold him back from getting it somewhere else. So how? I close one eye. I am sure he knows that I have no lack of choices out there, and I will have my fair share of flings too. I am sure he shuts one eye too....

It works for now...so dun think too much,

[Guest faithful Supporter]

Just because faithful is involved with a married guy doesn't mean he is not a victim.

You guys think you are so fxxking rigtheous.

Just because faithful is involved with a married guy doesn't mean he is not a victim.

Don't be so fxxking righteous.

Can't you see he is a victim to this irresponsible fxxker bf of his.

Ya, the fxxker is married so he can't be faithful's bf... that's how small your brain is... or your heart.

If human relationship is so simple, we won't be fxxking messed up here.

We are all get tangled in the web... so faithful got tangled with one who is married. Big Deal.

You guys can fantasize about fxxking around all you want with a married man, and now someone falls victim to a married guy and all you do is gloat and point fingers at him.

The married guy promise to be on a one to one relationship with faithful and he used that to make faithful, keep himself solely for him. Then he goes behind faithful's back and betray that promise. There is a break of trust/agreement here and he is guilty, married or not. Be a fair human being and see your fellow brother's pain, rather then using your righteous and higher then thee attitude to judge others and say that faithful deserves it and that no betrayal was present at all in his predicament.

[Guest Guest]

Just because faithful is involved with a married guy doesn't mean he is not a victim.

You guys think you are so fxxking rigtheous.

Just because faithful is involved with a married guy doesn't mean he is not a victim.

Don't be so fxxking righteous.

Can't you see he is a victim to this irresponsible fxxker bf of his.

Ya, the fxxker is married so he can't be faithful's bf... that's how small your brain is... or your heart.

If human relationship is so simple, we won't be fxxking messed up here.

We are all get tangled in the web... so faithful got tangled with one who is married. Big Deal.

You guys can fantasize about fxxking around all you want with a married man, and now someone falls victim to a married guy and all you do is gloat and point fingers at him.

The married guy promise to be on a one to one relationship with faithful and he used that to make faithful, keep himself solely for him. Then he goes behind faithful's back and betray that promise. There is a break of trust/agreement here and he is guilty, married or not. Be a fair human being and see your fellow brother's pain, rather then using your righteous and higher then thee attitude to judge others and say that faithful deserves it and that no betrayal was present at all in his predicament.

faithful Supporter, you have your reason & right to believe what you believe,however there is no right to say fair & victim,faithful can take it or leave it when he want to fall in Love with married guy,when he still want to jump into it,he need to be prepare & face the music.

The only victim is the married guy's wife & family members remember that,you can blame the married guy but you cant say faithful is victim,at least not me,is that you want to say LOVE is blind & you can't help it if you really fall into someone even if he is married or attach?Well,if so then don't ever say get cheated or unfair as no one force you to do so

[maturemedium]

If a married guy can unfaithful to his wife, he can b unfaithful to his so called "bf".

[travelite]

If a married guy can unfaithful to his wife, he can b unfaithful to his so called "bf".

fully agreed.. short n sharp

[Guest Faithful supporter]

You all say so because you have got stereo type morality issues stuck in your head.

To you: Gays should never get involved with a married guy. Because it just ain't right. Hurting the wife and family. So gay guy is condemned. Gay guy should face the fxxking music if it doesn't work out and no matter how unfairly he is being treated. He should know it doesn't work right from the beginning.

I can also say fairly, going by your set of logic.

To the straight people: Guys should never get involved with guys. Because it just ain't right. Hurting the parents and family. So gay guy is condemned. Gay guy should face the fxxking music if it doesn't work out and no matter how unfairly he is being treated. He should know it doesn't work right from the beginning.

I am defending Faithful by not judging him with morality issues.

Of course the wife and family is a victim of the fxxking married guy, but I have to reinstate that faithful is a victim too.

I don't care what kind of relationship anyone is in.

Relationships are made up of agreements.

Some married guy can have his wife agree to have a bf on the side, and everyone is happy. Who are we to judge.

But in faithful's case, the agreement was being played foul.

He was cheated by a false promise, agreement was compromised by deception.

Faithful has kept his end of the bargain, but did not get what was being promised.

He is a victim in this respect.

The wife is a victim, perhaps even a victim of both faithful and the fxxking married man. But that doesn't mean faithful is not a victim and deserves to be treated that way.

In fact, the wife is also not free of guilt.

You have to know who you are married to.

She is free to divorce the married guy anytime... and she has all the women's rights and law, protecting her. Incidentally, you rush to add to her protection like noble angles.

On the other hand, you just tell faithful to leave the married guy and bite the bullet cause he deserves it u say. You said he enjoyed the fxxk and so he should be happy to be cheated. Just listen to the degenerating words generated by your foul mouth and hardened hearts.

Just hypothetically, yes HYPOTHETICALLY ONLY!! Maybe the wife does know her husband is a gay bastard and does not stop him from victimizing more people. So who is really the victim in this case.

We are in no position to know and comment on the whole morality issue. So how can we jump into conclusion that Faitfhful is completely guilty. How can you put all the blame on him.

Do we want to scorn at our own gay brother like how the world is prejudice against us… gays. Do we judge like them with all their Moral standards, without giving a thought.

[Guest Guest]

Faithful Supporter, from what you mention then we put Moral standards aside, by right you should know better that in LOVE relationship, there is no right or wrong, promises or not, is all about just who love who more & who treasure who more, nothing is fair, no one say faithful is guilty, you are the one, we just say he no right to ask for more from the married guy that's all, if he want to play this game, then stick to the rule, if faithful unhappy & feel get betrayed, he can say Bye Bye to this relationship, what actually he want from the married guy?

Faithful want the married man treat him as his only man or should i say mistress? Mind i ask Faithful Supporter, cross your heart, you ever break your promises? The married guy can be faithful still to him, he still back to him & faithful still enjoy his company & sex, so what's next?

If Don't talk about Moral standards, most things are bull shit & just a joke, so why must treat sweet talk that seriously? Most important is faithful still want to continue this game?

Faithful Supporter, you are right, we all no right to say anything or give any advices, it's their business, so what make you so furious? Just let them solve themselves...

[Guest Guest]

Guest, You are deviating.

Remember you said that Faihtful is not a victim, only the wife and family is a victim.

So that's what fxxking make me furious.

Simple as that. My main write up is just to support Faithful as a victim.

Mainly against what Kerbee10 said, that there are no strings attached so no unfaithfulness so to speak. The married man did tied faithful up with his promise to only have sex with him. That made faithful trust him to have bareback with him. That is a huge risk and a lot of trust. Betraying that is unfaithful to the promise. Period.

Extremely against what Maledae said, that faithful enjoyed the fxxk so he should not complain that he was cheated... and that he will miss it if he stop getting the fxxk. Completely malicious words.

I am not talking about what faithful should do with/to the married man. Please read properly.

I won't reply if you have comprehension problems and can't see things clearly, its a waste of my energy.

[Baby Face]

Well said... :thumb:

[oralb]

it is very hard to judge morality, in the eyes of society, we are considered "not right". not to mention when we comes to affairs of the hearts.

i only have this to say, even if the married man is faithful enough to stay with 1 bf, how about the wife? what if the wife also maintains another partner. not only you are depending the married man not to stray, you are also betting on the wife not straying as well.

[Guest Guest]

Guest, You are deviating.

Remember you said that Faihtful is not a victim, only the wife and family is a victim.

So that's what fxxking make me furious.

Simple as that. My main write up is just to support Faithful as a victim.

Mainly against what Kerbee10 said, that there are no strings attached so no unfaithfulness so to speak. The married man did tied faithful up with his promise to only have sex with him. That made faithful trust him to have bareback with him. That is a huge risk and a lot of trust. Betraying that is unfaithful to the promise. Period.

Extremely against what Maledae said, that faithful enjoyed the fxxk so he should not complain that he was cheated... and that he will miss it if he stop getting the fxxk. Completely malicious words.

I am not talking about what faithful should do with/to the married man. Please read properly.

I won't reply if you have comprehension problems and can't see things clearly, its a waste of my energy.

I say the only victim is the married guy's family till now still unchange, cos they are the one who get betrayed, when Faithful know the married guy, i believe he already know that he is married, if he still want to be 狐狸精 & still want to be his only man don't you think is too childish?

We are all adult, how can you believe a person who already betray his wife & family? Faithful is the one who choose to believe what he believe, just like you, don't care about all the Moral standards, so how to show pity to a person who already know what type of path he will face when he want to be with a married guy?I always believe, when you choose a path no matter how tough it could be, either you walk all the way or just make a U-turn, cos no one ever force you to do so, it's your decision...

I just don't know how you define athe term of " Victim ", from what you say seem that sound too cheap, just like a drug dealer, he need to be prepare to get caught or arrested one day as simple as that...

If you afraid of pain then don't fall in Love esp when a person you know in the beginning already not worth trust...

Faithful Supporter, i just say no one say Faithful is guilty, i never say he is not a victim, pls read carefully before you say something, if most people view is not right & stupid, i believe you are too open & unsure the value of moral...

Just remember, if you afraid & don't want to get AIDs or STD, always Say NO to Raw Sex & use condom, if you willing to take a risk, then no reget, be a man...

[Guest Faithful Supporter]

Guest, I will explain further so that you won't think that I was not reading properly.

The word guilty came out from my previous write up here:

"We are in no position to know and comment on the whole morality issue. So how can we jump into conclusion that Faithful is completely guilty. How can you put all the blame on him."

I am defending him in your eyes or morality standards. He is seen as a condemned case because he got involved with a married man. Guilty from the start, by your morality standards. So you are the one who put him in a guilty position, in the eyes of your Morality. I merely spelled out what you were saying... which you might not realized.

---------------

Ascertained by what you said:

"The only victim is the married guy's wife & family members remember that, you can blame the married guy but you cant say faithful is victim..."

And you said again

"I say the only victim is the married guy's family till now still unchange, cos they are the one who get betrayed, when Faithful know the married guy, i believe he already know that he is married, if he still want to be 狐狸精 & still want to be his only man don't you think is too childish?"

In your eyes, faithful is a 狐狸精... thus he is guilty to you. Can't even be seen as a victim... even though he was betrayed.

You rubbed it in further:

"Faithful is the one who choose to believe what he believe, just like you, don't care about all the Moral standards, so how to show pity to a person who already know what type of path he will face when he want to be with a married guy?I always believe, when you choose a path no matter how tough it could be, either you walk all the way or just make a U-turn, cos no one ever force you to do so, it's your decision..."

By your Moral theory, I can understand why we gays are treated with no mercy in society:

See the way how some fxxking straight people talked about Leslie Cheung, that he deserves to die because he is gay. He should know that he will not come to a good end walking that path.

That's the path he chose afterall.... no one forced him.

---------------

I don’t disagree with the law that will punish a drug dealer no matter what reasons he gave... guilty no matter what. But by your theory, under no circumstances can he be seen as a victim. I disagree.

To me.

If you show me even a drug dealer's case.

I might find one, which might give me enough reasons to empathize with him that he could be a victim of society. Which to you, is "too open & unsure the value of moral".

Everyone has to pay for what they do, including faithful. He suffers now.

I defending him doesn’t mean that I think he is morally clear. But I won’t allow him to be dumped with all the blames as a狐狸精… to the extent that he can’t even be seen as a victim.

A certain drug dealer who gains empathy, will still be punished (sentence lightens perhaps).

But that doesn't mean that he is not a victim of society.

---------------------

Nothing is simply black or white.

You said, "Just remember, if you afraid & don't want to get AIDs or STD, always Say NO to Raw Sex & use condom, if you willing to take a risk, then no reget, be a man..."

So Guest, even when you are in a deep loving relationship, you need a condom for protection?

(Guest, "Of course not, do you know what is True Love? Not involving married man! Hello!!")

Oh no need, because it's a real True Love relationship is it?

What if you are betrayed?

(Guest," How can I be? I chose my man well... not like that faithful go and choose a married man. *smirk*)

Oh ic, but you should know by your black and white theory, that gay lies and sleep around right.... so if it happens, you deserve it right? Should know right from the start right?

(Guest, "Just you wait, I'm going to write you a whole page!!!")

[Guest Guest]

Faithful Supporter, you side faithful mainly one thing, cos from all your posts can clearly understood you defending him cos he is gay & the other party is married guy, i won't side anyone cos he is our same kind, that is stupid, what is black & white? people will only see what actually you did, is it you are the third party etc, even you write full forum does not mean you are right, as what i say, is only what you believe.

What is Ture Love & betray? I will never be the third party, cos if i am mean i no longer fit the bill, if no moral we are no much different like those 禽兽, i only believe a person should know what is 羞耻.

Don't try to cover your black & make suck statement like " gay lies and sleep around " & "I can understand why we gays are treated with no mercy in society" etc, we are all adult here, we are mature enough.

作贼的喊捉贼, i won't respond again, you can continue to write, but facts is facts no matter what excuse you have, when a person is stubborn is useless to discuse anything