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40 & Single Discussion : Gay men over 45 far more likely to be single + How is gay life like after 40 years old & beyond (compiled)


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8 hours ago, Guest sian sian said:

 

 

I think it is possible to get away with 10 odd years difference.

Be in your 40s, but looks 30 something.

Be in your 60s and look 50 something.

But 20 years... hmm... difficult to convince.  Maybe superficially at first glance, but a closer look will reveal lots.

 

The older you are, the more years you can look younger (or older).  A 10 y.o. cannot look ten years younger, the same as the 20 y.o.  But a centenarian in excellent shape can look not much different than what many 80 y.o. look like.

 

8 hours ago, Guest With or Without Makeup said:

Wait till they took down their make-up.  Cosmetic business is thriving in America.  Have you seen Jane Fonda with no make-up on her face?

 

Here you are right.  Use of cosmetics  IS hiding something.  It never occurred to me...

 

5 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

 

How can such incessant arguing and annoying postings from you over here on this forum all the time, not a show of you reaching an advanced age?   Like what was said above: "The more you try to hide , the more it will show.  May be you are not aware, but other people can still see through your age". 

  

 

I apologize.  If my posting is incessantly annoying, this is for others, not for me.  I have liked discussions all my life. And now retired and with more experience I don't spend any spiritual energy by writing,  just the opposite.  I don't get offended, angry by the many attacks I receive.  Much of what I write I do for myself,  to consolidate my own ideas,  and in many of the conversations I have here I keep learning new things. 

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20 hours ago, Expired Btm Uncle said:

Well reality check. The following are things that will happen once u pass 40:

1. Zero msg in all hook up and dating apps

2. Zero enquires in saunas 

3. Zero fun at outdoor cruising sites

4. Zero message here in BW

5. No invitation to group chat

 

On the other hand, u gain the following:

1. Eldershield

2. Priority covid vaccination

 

Hope that helps. Above are my personal experiences and may differ from your experience. 

Actually if you look like Chuan Do, face, bod and all, I think you will get plenty of attention lah... :)

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Guest Greatly Feared
1 hour ago, Steve5380 said:

 

 I don't get offended, angry by the many attacks I receive.  Much of what I write I do for myself,  to consolidate my own ideas,  and in many of the conversations I have here I keep learning new things. 

You have been cyber-bullied.  These are common signs every aged person faced. Not only in the cyber world, in the open world too.  Some political elites in Singapore think that it is sign of economy progress.  Which is why I am so scared to reach your age of no return. It means complete cancellation, deletion and rejection and at worse, bullied.  How to get out of the uncaring system?  I have self-withdrawal, indulge in spiritual pursuit living like a monk, no desire to know nor understand the world today, but you are so brave to confront so many things here.

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29 minutes ago, Guest Greatly Feared said:

You have been cyber-bullied.  These are common signs every aged person faced. Not only in the cyber world, in the open world too.  Some political elites in Singapore think that it is sign of economy progress.  Which is why I am so scared to reach your age of no return. It means complete cancellation, deletion and rejection and at worse, bullied.  How to get out of the uncaring system?  I have self-withdrawal, indulge in spiritual pursuit living like a monk, no desire to know nor understand the world today, but you are so brave to confront so many things here.

 

There is no reason you should be different than me.  And all ages are "of no return".  

 

For bullying to happen there must be a bullier and the one who is bullied.  There is no reason for me to accept bullying and to be bullied.  Cyber-bullying by posters in a gay website is innocent and harmless, and it happens at all ages.  And for bullying in the physical world, like being a vulnerable old Asian in America...   then (I'm becoming boring repeating the same stuff so many times) you should find a martial art you like and practice it.  Then when a miserable lowlife comes to attack you thinking that you are so vulnerable,  you take him or her by surprise and pin him down, maybe break his wrist, arm, shoulder or whatever.  If he has a knife,  you do a Tanto Dori and suddenly the knife is in your hand!  (I am writing this as a potential case, I fortunately never had to use any skills of Aikido, and I hope I will never have to)

 

So unless you are much, much older than me you don't need to feel cancelled, deleted, rejected or bullied.  And you can indulge in spiritual pursuits, living a very positive frugal life.  The world of today is what it has always been and will ever be, and you can see as a goal to accept this shitty world and still be happy.

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Guest kaypoh
14 hours ago, randomuse said:

Actually if you look like Chuan Do, face, bod and all, I think you will get plenty of attention lah... :)

 

Can we please move on from Chuan Do?

Otherwise, people may have the impression he is the only hot guy over age of 50

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This thread deals with gay life after 40, but much of it is no different from straight life after 40.

 

Yesterday the CBS program 60 Minutes  aired an episode about some now very old American-German heroes in WWII.  The Ritchie Boys:

 

 

 

This episode, which you can see in its entirety at the 60 Minute website:

 

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/world-war-ii-jews-escape-nazi-germany-hitler-60-minutes-2021-05-09/

 

is a good example of what to expect after 40 y.o.  The interviewed are a 99 y.o, a 98 y.o, a 97 y.o.  It is encouraging to see how good and happy they still look, how functional they are, how clear minded they are, how proud they feel.  I hope that in 20 years when I am their age I will also be like them. 

 

This episode should put to rest any fears of being over 40.  If you are this age, gay or not, you can look forward to 40+ more years of happy life if you are smart and take good care of yourself. 

.

Edited by Steve5380
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13 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

This episode should put to rest any fears of being over 40.  If you are this age, gay or not, you can look forward to 40+ more years of happy life if you are smart and take good care of yourself. 

With hair transplants, facelifts, botox injections and an exercise regimen, I don't doubt many can keep there bodies looking quite good. But what about gay life? Were they gay? If they went into a gay bar or a sauna would they be likely to attract company? The TS specifically includes sex and relationships.

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1 hour ago, InBangkok said:

With hair transplants, facelifts, botox injections and an exercise regimen, I don't doubt many can keep there bodies looking quite good. But what about gay life? Were they gay? If they went into a gay bar or a sauna would they be likely to attract company? The TS specifically includes sex and relationships.

Refer to my posting above. I take umbrage u didn't read my posting.

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Guest ABCDE
4 hours ago, InBangkok said:

With hair transplants, facelifts, botox injections and an exercise regimen, I don't doubt many can keep there bodies looking quite good. But what about gay life? Were they gay? If they went into a gay bar or a sauna would they be likely to attract company? The TS specifically includes sex and relationships.

A: nobody want me, I'm old

B: nobody want me, I'm fat

C: nobody want me, I'm ugly

D : nobody want me, I'm poor

E: let's go Shogun

Old man, there's no need to feel down
I said, old man, pick yourself off the ground
I said, old man, 'cause you're in a new town
There's no need to be unhappy
Old man, there's a place you can go
I said, old man, when you're short on your dough
You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find
Many ways to have a GOOD time
It's fun to stay at the Shogun
It's fun to stay at the Shogun
They have everything for you MEN to enjoy
You can hang out with all the MEN

 

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Guest ABCDE

REALITY IS

A: nobody want me, I'm old(  I only want YOUNG MEN )

B: nobody want me, I'm fat(  I only want MUSCLE MEN)

C: nobody want me, I'm ugly(  I only want HANDSOME MEN)

D : nobody want me, I'm poor(  I only want RICH MEN)

 

E:-xpired Btm Uncle's pessimism is either reverse psychology or some of the above.

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4 hours ago, Guest ABCDE said:

REALITY IS

A: nobody want me, I'm old(  I only want YOUNG MEN )

B: nobody want me, I'm fat(  I only want MUSCLE MEN)

C: nobody want me, I'm ugly(  I only want HANDSOME MEN)

D : nobody want me, I'm poor(  I only want RICH MEN)

 

E:-xpired Btm Uncle's pessimism is either reverse psychology or some of the above.

 

You made a good point.  

 

I want...  I want... I want... I want...   This is how we all start when we are babies.

This should not be the main preoccupation after 40 years old.

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Guest Guest
On 5/9/2021 at 10:02 PM, Guest Greatly Feared said:

You have been cyber-bullied.  These are common signs every aged person faced. Not only in the cyber world, in the open world too.  Some political elites in Singapore think that it is sign of economy progress.  Which is why I am so scared to reach your age of no return. It means complete cancellation, deletion and rejection and at worse, bullied.  How to get out of the uncaring system?  I have self-withdrawal, indulge in spiritual pursuit living like a monk, no desire to know nor understand the world today, but you are so brave to confront so many things here.

 

Well.. I think as long as you don't go around scolding people dying of HIV like the way he did, I think you won't be "cyber-bullied" like the way he got. It's not bravery there which you see from him; It's shamelessness. 

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My biggest problem after turning 40 - I become more stubborn and set in my ways/pattern. No one can tell me my views are wrong or outdated. 

 

I have also become less accepting of new things. For example music taste. Why is 98.7 so unlistenable nowadays! (omg I sound like my dad)

 

I know myself and my body too well. No more chiong on weekends till 3pm - am in bed with my dogs by 9pm on a Sat!

 

Maybe that's why so many of us chase younger guys - we want to be challenged/try new things. 

 

 

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9 hours ago, Expired Btm Uncle said:

Refer to my posting above. I take umbrage u didn't read my posting.

Not true. I did read it, I was referring to @Steve5380's posts elsewhere where he mentions the procedures he has had to keep himself looking younger - hair transplant, facelift, botox injections, keeping fit - and still found he attracted younger sex partners in saunas even aged 70. I apologise for not making that clear.

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11 hours ago, Guest ABCDE said:

REALITY IS

A: nobody want me, I'm old(  I only want YOUNG MEN )

B: nobody want me, I'm fat(  I only want MUSCLE MEN)

C: nobody want me, I'm ugly(  I only want HANDSOME MEN)

D : nobody want me, I'm poor(  I only want RICH MEN)

 

E:-xpired Btm Uncle's pessimism is either reverse psychology or some of the above.

Sala lah i didnt wrote that! 

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Guest Fatty
On 5/10/2021 at 11:35 AM, Guest kaypoh said:

 

Can we please move on from Chuan Do?

Otherwise, people may have the impression he is the only hot guy over age of 50

You mean there are others?

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52 minutes ago, Guest Fatty said:

You mean there are others?

 

Unfortunately not too many.   Most guys over 50  are not hot anymore.

 

But this starts by thinking so badly about gay life after 40.  

If one is supposed to be a fat, ugly, expired uncle after 40,  then what is the point to make efforts to prevent this?  Why care about exercise, healthy nutrition, enough sleep, stress control?  Let's fully enjoy life on the fast lane before reaching 40.  On the other hand if one thinks that the 40s is only half the useful life time,  then it is important to keep oneself well maintained. 

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Guest Spot On!
1 hour ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Most guys over 50  are not hot anymore.

 

 

True.

Man in 40s,  is crisis period

Man in 50s,  not hot anymore

Main in 60s,  not popular

Main in 70s,  Creepy

Main in 80s,  Game over

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13 minutes ago, Guest Spot On! said:

True.

Man in 40s,  is crisis period

Man in 50s,  not hot anymore

Main in 60s,  not popular

Main in 70s,  Creepy

Main in 80s,  Game over

 

Very true for those who don't plan for or expect a long enjoying life. 

 

For those who want to live at full capacity forever and don't fear the 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s,  it is like this:

Man in 40s, no difference with 30s

Man in 50s, no difference with 40s

Man in 60s, no difference with 50s

Man in 70s, reached plateaus with only small improvements but is satisfied with what he has.

Man starting the 80s,  no difference from the 70s

Man progressing in his 80s,  more effort to keep what he has

Man in his 90s,  progressive degradation, slowly if he is in perfect health.

Man in his 100s,  busy and entertained with interviews by the media, explaining how he made it so far.

.

Edited by Steve5380
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We all get old eventually. Deal with it. Be the best version of yourself and embrace the changes that come with age and life. No point squabbling over it. Do your best to do what makes you happy and honestly, why let the opinions of strangers bother you? They don't know you nor you them. 

 

The beauty of aging, is that as you get older, there are other priorities in life other than just wanting to the guy that everyone lusts after or be the most popular guy at the club or sauna. 

Love. 

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Guest Fair deal
8 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Very true for those who don't plan for or expect a long enjoying life. 

 

For those who want to live at full capacity forever and don't fear the 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s,  it is like this:

Man in 40s, no difference with 30s

Man in 50s, no difference with 40s

Man in 60s, no difference with 50s

Man in 70s, reached plateaus with only small improvements but is satisfied with what he has.

Man starting the 80s,  no difference from the 70s

Man progressing in his 80s,  more effort to keep what he has

Man in his 90s,  progressive degradation, slowly if he is in perfect health.

Man in his 100s,  busy and entertained with interviews by the media, explaining how he made it so far.

.

Don't worry. I have prophesied you will live up to 120 and received white house award from the president of that time and don't forget to give this forum some credit as it has kept you sane and alive through your years.   By then, you will need 29 inches screen to help you read this forum better. But I hope, you will also mellow down on your tone and bitchiness when that day came.

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38 minutes ago, Guest Fair deal said:

Don't worry. I have prophesied you will live up to 120 and received white house award from the president of that time and don't forget to give this forum some credit as it has kept you sane and alive through your years.   By then, you will need 29 inches screen to help you read this forum better. But I hope, you will also mellow down on your tone and bitchiness when that day came.

 

Thank you for your good wishes, and you are right.  As we age, we become more understanding and more tolerant of the bitchiness of others,  which we learn to let pass.

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Guest Paul Anka
29 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Thank you for your good wishes, and you are right.  As we age, we become more understanding and more tolerant of the bitchiness of others,  which we learn to let pass.

When you reached 120, many new comers including guests will ignore all your comments and stop engaging with you.  You will feel very lonely here and began to appreciate all the diatribes thrown at you today. You have wished all the guests including guest guest would continue to exist and bitch with you on your 120th birthday.  Treasure the moment given to you now.  Did u see the future coming 40 years later??

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38 minutes ago, Guest Paul Anka said:

When you reached 120, many new comers including guests will ignore all your comments and stop engaging with you.  You will feel very lonely here and began to appreciate all the diatribes thrown at you today. You have wished all the guests including guest guest would continue to exist and bitch with you on your 120th birthday.  Treasure the moment given to you now.  Did u see the future coming 40 years later??

 

Don't be a false prophet.  Who knows what will happen in 42 years?  Instead of feeling lonely and ignored, I might miss many members with whom I have conversations today, but will be gone in this 42 years.  Will you be still around?

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Another perfect example of what is gay life after 40 years old is  given by the Great Louganis.

 

Greg Louganis was diagnosed with HIV before the 1988 Olympics, and started anti-virus medication then. He is now 61 y.o. so he has been living with HIV for more than 33 years. Here is a video of Louganis and Daley diving together,  at a time when Louganis was 56 years old.  Who believes that at 56 a man is fat, ugly, expired ? Greg is amazingly strong, agile and good looking.

 

Yes...  but he is unique....  B.S.!  Most of our genes are exactly the same as his!

 

 

Edited by Steve5380
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Guest Cyber bully spotted
3 hours ago, Guest Paul Anka said:

When you reached 120, many new comers including guests will ignore all your comments and stop engaging with you.  You will feel very lonely here and began to appreciate all the diatribes thrown at you today. You have wished all the guests including guest guest would continue to exist and bitch with you on your 120th birthday.  Treasure the moment given to you now.  Did u see the future coming 40 years later??

I can only guess that your obsession with Steve is a sort of spite from rejections.

 

 Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

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Guest Guest
3 hours ago, Guest Cyber bully spotted said:

I can only guess that your obsession with Steve is a sort of spite from rejections.

 

 Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

 

I can only guess that your defense of Steve is a sort of sugar daddy love.

 

Age hath no love like some money waved. 

 

Money GIFs | Tenor

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Guest Woman
5 hours ago, Guest Cyber bully spotted said:

I can only guess that your obsession with Steve is a sort of spite from rejections.

 

That, you will have to ask Steve whether he felt the same way as you.  He hates presumptious people like you.:yuk::whistle: 

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Guest get back to topic

Dear Steve,

 

This thread is about the possible gay life after 40 years of age. The thread is not about your near octogenarian gay life,  you personal gay life style (if any) or about any not fulfilling prophecies on your personal future.

This thread is equally not about your never ending self defences on posts from others mentioning your name.

 

Eventually you open a personal thread at the Flaming Room where you can share all your personal backgrounds but can you stop distorting/ disrupting the discussions at the Main Forum.

 

Note the Main Forum is not a personal or private messenger. Please stick to the topic.

 

Get back to topic!

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4 hours ago, InBangkok said:

Really? Well, we get surprises every day, don't we?

 

What is "we"?   Speak for yourself.

The fact that I don't hate doesn't mean that I am not hated, like your post shows. 😁

.

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Guest wheretofindfriend
12 hours ago, yoyo74 said:

I only comes out of the closet to meet other gay guys at the age of 37. Gay life starts very late for me. I took a few years to straighten out what i want and need and concluded my thoughts within a few years around the age of 40.

40s is the beginning of my happiness moving away from the lonely unhappy closet days. I started to make more and more gay friends as i desperately needed to widen up my gay social network of friends in order to know what should i do or not do as a gay.

I have made up my mind at this point that i want to live in a house of many gay close friends during old age. I am gathering many friendly gay friends with similar interest to go exercise together to go out to have other fun activities together. Use all these activities to close up our relationship. Finally able to understand them and to see if suitable to live together etc.

If comparing my life in mid 30s and 40s, I would say my life is much better at 40s. During mid 30s i am practically following a sedentary lifestyle and getting fat. I have start getting my fitness back from late 30s and maintain mostly throughout in the 40s.

I am now almost a decade out of the closet passing the mid 40 range. I would say i am living a fulfilling life everyday. Happy to be with my close gay friends and the never ending task to increase more close gay friends with similar interest. A big family of close gay friends is what i want. I have it but greedy me want more lol

 

 

care to share where to find gay friends?

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Guest enlarge your friends
16 hours ago, yoyo74 said:

I only comes out of the closet to meet other gay guys at the age of 37. Gay life starts very late for me. I took a few years to straighten out what i want and need and concluded my thoughts within a few years around the age of 40.

40s is the beginning of my happiness moving away from the lonely unhappy closet days. I started to make more and more gay friends as i desperately needed to widen up my gay social network of friends in order to know what should i do or not do as a gay.

I have made up my mind at this point that i want to live in a house of many gay close friends during old age. I am gathering many friendly gay friends with similar interest to go exercise together to go out to have other fun activities together. Use all these activities to close up our relationship. Finally able to understand them and to see if suitable to live together etc.

If comparing my life in mid 30s and 40s, I would say my life is much better at 40s. During mid 30s i am practically following a sedentary lifestyle and getting fat. I have start getting my fitness back from late 30s and maintain mostly throughout in the 40s.

I am now almost a decade out of the closet passing the mid 40 range. I would say i am living a fulfilling life everyday. Happy to be with my close gay friends and the never ending task to increase more close gay friends with similar interest. A big family of close gay friends is what i want. I have it but greedy me want more lol

Having a big circle of gay friends is always healthy and something I have posted here more than once.

 

Don't stay single if you are gay. You must not be in a relationship but having a good bunch of friends is a good thing.

 

We are getting older and once in a while we will be weak and to have someone (if you're single) to help you when you are sick or any other reason is needed in our life style. In particular, those who are alone here with no relatives, due to work etc should refrain from keeping on their own. Get a circle of good friends, who don't just only entertain you, bring you laughter and distraction but can be around in days of need.

 

I hope your post can be a warning to all these closeted gays or those who know they have sexual preference for guys but still run around denying their sexuality and wasting a huge portion of their life.

 

You only have one life!

 

 

 

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Guest back topic
21 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

When have YOU posted in this thread something about the topic?  Surely not this time!  You posted to attack someone who is NOT the topic.

 

I am simply a member that has posted the most here about the topic.  And always in constructive ways, to show  PLU that one should stay OPTIMISTIC and POSITIVE about life after 40 years old  :thumb:

 

Sorry, you are the one who is mistaking the Main Forum as your personal chat messenger.

 

If you had not strayed to your personal posts or your self defending, I surely had not intervened at all.

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6 hours ago, Guest wheretofindfriend said:

 

 

care to share where to find gay friends?

Form group or join group with similar interest. Blowing wind forums have lots of it. Take initiative to be the recruiter of the group so that you got much more opportunity to talk to guys with similar interest. Do not any how join groups that do not suit you to make friends as there is much lesser to things to talk about if you dont have their interest.

Be friendly. Be kind. Be considerate. Make yourself attractive to others. This is the main points of making more friends.

Most important of all make sure you are joining groups full of gay guys lol

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14 hours ago, chntall54 said:

Eeeks. Present day Greg Louganis looks like the twin brother of Vivian Balakrishnan. 
 

 

Louganis got his last name from his adoptive parents, who were of Greek origin.  Later in life he located his biological parents, with his father being from Samoa. So he has Pacific Islander blood, and maybe from there he looks like your minister.   He is now happily married to his husband.  A difficult beginning lead to a happy gay life after 40. :thumb: 

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Guest So Superficial
7 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

.  A difficult beginning lead to a happy gay life after 40. :thumb: 

How you know he is happy?

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9 hours ago, Guest So Superficial said:

How you know he is happy?

 

He has a happy face.

 

And also the circumstances of his life.  At his age, he is healthy and in good shape, he has prestige, younger champions want to dive with him,  he has a boyfriend...

.

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Guest Nothing we could do
17 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

 

He has a happy face.

 

And also the circumstances of his life.  At his age, he is healthy and in good shape, he has prestige, younger champions want to dive with him,  he has a boyfriend...

.

So he is happier than you.  You must be very envious.  We understand.

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14 minutes ago, Guest Nothing we could do said:

So he is happier than you.  You must be very envious.  We understand.

 

I understand why you say that I must be very envious: you are here very envious.

 

I welcome Louganis' fortune, and I am at least as happy as he is.  I am 17 years older than he is, and I am healthy and in good shape. At any time over 40 years I was able to learn to dive like he did (but I had other interests).  I had a younger wonderful boyfriend until death did us part.  I have had good accomplishments in my professional life. And I have some planned for the future. :) 

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Guest hmmm....
12 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

 

And I have some planned for the future. :) 

And what will that be?  Don't tell us about your sex tourism. Those era is over, and we are living in pandemic now.  Unless, your future plan is a spiritual one, to induct more holyness into your life going forward? 

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2 minutes ago, Guest hmmm.... said:

And what will that be?  Don't tell us about your sex tourism. Those era is over, and we are living in pandemic now.  Unless, your future plan is a spiritual one, to induct more holyness into your life going forward? 

 

You are pushing me into commenting out of topic.  But I may find a way around this:  "Life Plans of a gay after 40 years old".   So I put this as an example:

 

A 78 y.o. who plans to continue training towards a black belt in Aikido, to go back to concerts and operas, to learn to dance Tango, to go back to school and get a degree in piano playing.  Ah, and not to forget... to travel back to BKK and perhaps Pattaya to keep exploring gay life there, and perhaps making a stop in SG to meet gays there.

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Guest Just Relax
21 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

A 78 y.o. who plans to continue training towards a black belt in Aikido, to go back to concerts and operas, to learn to dance Tango, to go back to school and get a degree in piano playing.  Ah, and not to forget... to travel back to BKK . and perhaps Pattaya to keep exploring gay life there, and perhaps making a stop in SG to meet gays there.

That is a lot of territories to cover at the age of 78 and you do know that time flies with a blink of an eye.  You are giving yourself a lot of pressure. 

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  • G_M changed the title to 40 & Single Discussion : Gay men over 45 far more likely to be single + How is gay life like after 40 years old & beyond (compiled)
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