Would you want your the other half just as muscular?

[Notti]

I go gym to look good and got admired by many. What's your objective? Would you want your the other half just as muscular?

[JYAG-sim]

Hmm... I was kinda confused by your thread title and your questions but anywho...

 

In fact, it was my other half who had influenced me to visit the gym after repeated hints that my chest would look nicer if it were bigger haha. He felt that I was too lean. So fast forward to July 2021, I am still enjoying my gym workouts. My purpose isn't purely aesthetic; of course you look nice(r) in clothes but more importantly, I realised the workouts strengthened my lower back and I can stand a lot longer, especially on the MRT. As for my other half, he has been gymming for a long time to treat a back injury and his larger physique has caused many guys to take a second look, yet he's oblivious to them 🤦‍♂️. Sometimes I tease him, "Eh, that guy was checking you out" and he replies, "Hah where?"

[Guest guest]

Not all gays go to gym, but most gays go gym, so that they can have nice body to improve their appearance to attract others gay. 

[G_M]

Confusing title changed to reflex on the intended question!

[5eparator]

🤪

Edited December 23, 2022 by 5eparator

[LeanMature]

4 hours ago, Notti said:

I go gym to look good and got admired by many. What's your objective? Would you want your the other half just as muscular?

 

Its the motive, not the objective.  Some go gym to admire, others go to be admired.

[lightsmith32]

I need mine to be lean and twink, so i encourage mine to go hiking, running and skipping.

[fab]

Not into gym rats.

[Guest Guest]

 

I prefer intelligence than physical attractiveness.  What the use of having a nice body but no brain. 

 

[Zealouslogue]

2 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

 

I prefer intelligence than physical attractiveness.  What the use of having a nice body but no brain. 

 

Totally agree! 💯

[kratos]

Sounds like a self promo thread. 

 

Everyone prefers someone with a good bod. But I avoid people who always like to post half naked photos of themselves on IG/social media, especially those where they deliberately pose for it. It's funny to imagine them at the gym/beach/home posing for a far-away look, sipping coffee, looking out the window, pretending to be deep in thought. It's really narcissistic to see their IG full of those kind of photos.

[BudakFit]

As my all previous exes is not fit like me; between skinny to slim. I hope my next BF is fit or lean or muscular...motivate each other etc... 

[mate69]

slightly fit to decently in shape will do

brains and intelligence please

especially well-versed in world affairs, can discuss all kinds of stuff, be good in money management and be a slut good in bed!

[Blogger Adam]

Twenty years ago, when I got together with my partner J, he was super lean and fit. 
 

His shoulders were nicely defined, his abs the work of a divine sculptor. 
 

At 24, his bod still retained the benefits of the regimental training routine he went through for his sport in his earlier years. 
 

I was 23 and a walking sack of potatoes (or rice, noodles, curry — depending on what I’d stuffed my face with that day, basically). 
 

Despite looking delightfully plump, and far from muscular, J had never once minded. 
 

In our 30s, vanity ruled those years. 
 

It was my turn to look lean and fit while J, who rejoiced in not having to train for his sport, slowed down his fitness pace. 
 

He deflated — shoulders shrank and he sported a bulge (I’ve always loved bulges but they need to be in the correct places)

 

I began to nag at him saying he’s very skinny-fat and he needed to lose that lil belly. 
 

He would roll his eyes and ignore me. 
 

Now that we’re in our forties, when I look at J, what crosses my mind isn’t that he has more white hair or that he’s looking less fit than when we first met. 
 

I look at him and worry about the curvature of his neck which is slowly curving downwards.
 

The preview of how my J would turn out in the next 10 to 20 years pains me.

 

I no longer want him to look lean and fit and muscular.

 

All I worry about is whether he’ll be healthy when we’re both in our 50s, 60s and 70s. 
 

I sometimes do look at his old photos of his swimmer days and would quip that I miss that hot stud. 
 

Then I get reminded that when I was Rolly Polly, he had loved me even though I looked like Shrek. 
 

These days, I try my best to see the value of inner beauty in things, rather than how good they look on the surface. 

[Kimochi]

9 hours ago, Blogger Adam said:

Twenty years ago, when I got together with my partner J, he was super lean and fit. 
 

His shoulders were nicely defined, his abs the work of a divine sculptor. 
 

At 24, his bod still retained the benefits of the regimental training routine he went through for his sport in his earlier years. 
 

I was 23 and a walking sack of potatoes (or rice, noodles, curry — depending on what I’d stuffed my face with that day, basically). 
 

Despite looking delightfully plump, and far from muscular, J had never once minded. 
 

In our 30s, vanity ruled those years. 
 

It was my turn to look lean and fit while J, who rejoiced in not having to train for his sport, slowed down his fitness pace. 
 

He deflated — shoulders shrank and he sported a bulge (I’ve always loved bulges but they need to be in the correct places)

 

I began to nag at him saying he’s very skinny-fat and he needed to lose that lil belly. 
 

He would roll his eyes and ignore me. 
 

Now that we’re in our forties, when I look at J, what crosses my mind isn’t that he has more white hair or that he’s looking less fit than when we first met. 
 

I look at him and worry about the curvature of his neck which is slowly curving downwards.
 

The preview of how my J would turn out in the next 10 to 20 years pains me.

 

I no longer want him to look lean and fit and muscular.

 

All I worry about is whether he’ll be healthy when we’re both in our 50s, 60s and 70s. 
 

I sometimes do look at his old photos of his swimmer days and would quip that I miss that hot stud. 
 

Then I get reminded that when I was Rolly Polly, he had loved me even though I looked like Shrek. 
 

These days, I try my best to see the value of inner beauty in things, rather than how good they look on the surface. 

Hugs. Go exercise together? ~

[doncoin]

On 7/4/2021 at 12:57 AM, Notti said:

I go gym to look good and got admired by many. What's your objective? Would you want your the other half just as muscular?

 

I just want to look good in a thong on the beach, and not be the butt of jokes in one  

 

I think for anyone I am dating, I prefer someone who is in-shape. A little out of shape is fine but not morbidly obese. If he is muscular, by all means. However if his life revolves just around the gym, I have issue with that. 

[notd]

As someone who has spent his early-mid 20s pursuing and falling for gym fit guys, no. 

 

I’m 2.5 years away from hitting the big 3-0 and perpetually find myself being attracted to men who knows how to treat me with respect and keep to their words. 

 

I’ve also shifted my preference for fit guys to toned dudes or your average joes. Even a slim fit belly or a slim fit man boobs are no longer an issue for me. Of course I would be slightly bothered by it, but never enough to make a fuss and allow it to be a dealbreaker in the makings of a relationship.

 

What I find myself prioritizing more is compassion, kindness and dedication. Intelligence is also very sexy. 

 

It goes without saying that men are visual creatures, we procreate with the intentions of “passing down” and “spreading” our seeds. Even when that’s impossible for gay men, we think and feel that way. 

 

As we age, our body metabolism slows down, our ability to build muscles declines and try as we may, a 30s something who works as hard as a 20s something will never look good as the one in their 20s, it’s just aging and genetics. 

 

Would I still hit the gyms to look good? Yes. But I wouldn’t call it to look good, I just think it’s maintenance and a personal dedication to thank my genes for blessing me with what looks and body I have. And I wanna hone with what remains of it. 

 

If my partner is in the pink of health but isn’t gym fit, that’s fine. If he is gym fit but just about everything else about him stank, then it’s pointless too. 

[Guest btmguy]

On 7/4/2021 at 12:57 PM, Notti said:

I go gym to look good and got admired by many. What's your objective? Would you want your the other half just as muscular?

 

I prefer my partner to be bigger, stronger and more muscular than me

[p2468]

On 7/4/2021 at 12:57 PM, Notti said:

I go gym to look good and got admired by many. What's your objective? Would you want your the other half just as muscular?

Based on your pic, I do not admire you. 😁

[StockBottom]

....................

Edited July 7, 2021 by StockBottom

[Notti]

11 hours ago, notd said:

As someone who has spent his early-mid 20s pursuing and falling for gym fit guys, no. 

 

I’m 2.5 years away from hitting the big 3-0 and perpetually find myself being attracted to men who knows how to treat me with respect and keep to their words. 

 

I’ve also shifted my preference for fit guys to toned dudes or your average joes. Even a slim fit belly or a slim fit man boobs are no longer an issue for me. Of course I would be slightly bothered by it, but never enough to make a fuss and allow it to be a dealbreaker in the makings of a relationship.

 

What I find myself prioritizing more is compassion, kindness and dedication. Intelligence is also very sexy. 

 

It goes without saying that men are visual creatures, we procreate with the intentions of “passing down” and “spreading” our seeds. Even when that’s impossible for gay men, we think and feel that way. 

 

As we age, our body metabolism slows down, our ability to build muscles declines and try as we may, a 30s something who works as hard as a 20s something will never look good as the one in their 20s, it’s just aging and genetics. 

 

Would I still hit the gyms to look good? Yes. But I wouldn’t call it to look good, I just think it’s maintenance and a personal dedication to thank my genes for blessing me with what looks and body I have. And I wanna hone with what remains of it. 

 

If my partner is in the pink of health but isn’t gym fit, that’s fine. If he is gym fit but just about everything else about him stank, then it’s pointless too. 

Well said! Same sentiment!

[Torrent]

Looks aren't forever, and keep in mind all muscle naturally converts into fat, when you do nothing with it; and it becomes more apparent in old age.

 

I do admit that when I first came out, I was wildly fascinated by the world of muscle. These days not anymore, I do have some attraction for muscle depending where it's at but it's not my main priority anymore. Don't see myself wanting to go after a full-on bodybuilder either, but to be able to gym with your other half to motivate each other and keep one another company, that's the best (looking muscle fit is a bonus in the end)

[Guest Guest]

Who doesn't give hunky muscleman a second look? Limpeh also want to see how hunky TS is in real life.

[Kenjikenji]

It is just a good to have but not a must . 

[notd]

52 minutes ago, Torrent said:

Looks aren't forever, and keep in mind all muscle naturally converts into fat, when you do nothing with it; and it becomes more apparent in old age.

 

I do admit that when I first came out, I was wildly fascinated by the world of muscle. These days not anymore, I do have some attraction for muscle depending where it's at but it's not my main priority anymore. Don't see myself wanting to go after a full-on bodybuilder either, but to be able to gym with your other half to motivate each other and keep one another company, that's the best (looking muscle fit is a bonus in the end)

 

Touche! I particularly like the words "attraction for muscle depending where it's at."

 

Some guys are naturally physically attractive just for having nice biceps . If a guy I knew had a nice voice but minimally developed chest muscles vs. someone who has bulging pecs but whose voice isn't music to my ears, I'd probably go with the former. 

Edited July 6, 2021 by notd

[Guest guest]

58 minutes ago, Torrent said:

Looks aren't forever, and keep in mind all muscle naturally converts into fat, when you do nothing with it; and it becomes more apparent in old age.

 

I do admit that when I first came out, I was wildly fascinated by the world of muscle. These days not anymore, I do have some attraction for muscle depending where it's at but it's not my main priority anymore. Don't see myself wanting to go after a full-on bodybuilder either, but to be able to gym with your other half to motivate each other and keep one another company, that's the best (looking muscle fit is a bonus in the end)

Even look is not forever, but at least a person has good look/body during their younger days. And i still believe in gay community, look/body is important and the first thing that other gays will see first.

[Torrent]

23 minutes ago, notd said:

 

Touche! I particularly like the words "attraction for muscle depending where it's at."

 

Some guys are naturally physically attractive just for having nice biceps . If a guy I knew had a nice voice but minimally developed chest muscles vs. someone who has bulging pecs but whose voice isn't music to my ears, I'd probably go with the former. 

For me, I think shoulders and calves muscles are the most appealing. abs/chest/biceps are just meh material for me at this point. even a bodybuilder doesn't appeal to me greatly compared to when I was younger, in fact I think those with pure big muscles are...scary?
 

14 minutes ago, Guest guest said:

Even look is not forever, but at least a person has good look/body during their younger days. And i still believe in gay community, look/body is important and the first thing that other gays will see first.

Unfortunately, it's a shallow world. But you can't be picky the older you get, be glad someone even likes you.

[Guest guest]

6 minutes ago, Torrent said:

Unfortunately, it's a shallow world. But you can't be picky the older you get, be glad someone even likes you.

Thing is if you do not have look/body, even you are young also might not have someone likes you. Shallow world apply to any age, and also apply to making friends, not only apply to relationship. So if you are ugly and old, then it is end of the world and prepare to live and die alone.

[Torrent]

13 minutes ago, Guest guest said:

Thing is if you do not have look/body, even you are young also might not have someone likes you. Shallow world apply to any age, and also apply to making friends, not only apply to relationship. So if you are ugly and old, then it is end of the world and prepare to live and die alone.

I didn't say you can't like someone based on appearances, physical attraction is a thing. But it shouldn't quantify as the ENTIRE thing.

[Guest guest]

13 minutes ago, Torrent said:

I didn't say you can't like someone based on appearances, physical attraction is a thing. But it shouldn't quantify as the ENTIRE thing.

Not the entire thing but surely it is the first thing that people will look before anything other things can happen.

[Notti]

On 7/5/2021 at 12:17 PM, Blogger Adam said:

Twenty years ago, when I got together with my partner J, he was super lean and fit. 
 

His shoulders were nicely defined, his abs the work of a divine sculptor. 
 

At 24, his bod still retained the benefits of the regimental training routine he went through for his sport in his earlier years. 
 

I was 23 and a walking sack of potatoes (or rice, noodles, curry — depending on what I’d stuffed my face with that day, basically). 
 

Despite looking delightfully plump, and far from muscular, J had never once minded. 
 

In our 30s, vanity ruled those years. 
 

It was my turn to look lean and fit while J, who rejoiced in not having to train for his sport, slowed down his fitness pace. 
 

He deflated — shoulders shrank and he sported a bulge (I’ve always loved bulges but they need to be in the correct places)

 

I began to nag at him saying he’s very skinny-fat and he needed to lose that lil belly. 
 

He would roll his eyes and ignore me. 
 

Now that we’re in our forties, when I look at J, what crosses my mind isn’t that he has more white hair or that he’s looking less fit than when we first met. 
 

I look at him and worry about the curvature of his neck which is slowly curving downwards.
 

The preview of how my J would turn out in the next 10 to 20 years pains me.

 

I no longer want him to look lean and fit and muscular.

 

All I worry about is whether he’ll be healthy when we’re both in our 50s, 60s and 70s. 
 

I sometimes do look at his old photos of his swimmer days and would quip that I miss that hot stud. 
 

Then I get reminded that when I was Rolly Polly, he had loved me even though I looked like Shrek. 
 

These days, I try my best to see the value of inner beauty in things, rather than how good they look on the surface. 

How loving! The power of love is unstoppable! Chemistry eventually rule in a relationship. Congratulations!

[SGFitness]

Well its not easy to be superficial in this gay world, who doesn't like to have a partner who has a killer bod to die for?

 

But then again if you were to choose who is not fit, chances are that he will not have the same lifestyle as you (making meals preps, going to the gym to work out etc) nor will he hold the same similar values to the same degree (staying healthy, eating clean, being health conscious in general). Which will make being together more challenging as there would be more areas to compromise for each other.

 

I for one would choose someone who has similar lifestyle and holds similar values as me and chances are that he won't be out of shape.

 

Just my 2 cents. 

 

 

 

 

[Guest To each his own]

There must be reasons why you fell for the person the first place, overlooking the fact that he wasn’t as buff as you are..

 

People have preferences, chub, lean, skinny, old, young whatever. If he is open to ideas to get healthier and fitter, by all means be part of his life and help him make adjustment towards better changes. If what you want is someone with muscles for you to lust on, it is a tough journey and you are better off fulfilling your needs elsewhere.

 

I have seen many couples with mismatch outlook, muscular Godzilla with cinderalla’s stepmother, super model face with one that is twisted beyond recognition. They are those who are attracted to things beyond aesthetic (hopefully not the wealth). A lock and lock, key and key will never be compatible. Find someone that suits you and be able to accept his shortcoming. If he is binge eating and having a mess up diet that irks the hell out of you, let him know, or move on.

[Notti]

On 7/19/2021 at 8:44 AM, Guest To each his own said:

There must be reasons why you fell for the person the first place, overlooking the fact that he wasn’t as buff as you are..

 

People have preferences, chub, lean, skinny, old, young whatever. If he is open to ideas to get healthier and fitter, by all means be part of his life and help him make adjustment towards better changes. If what you want is someone with muscles for you to lust on, it is a tough journey and you are better off fulfilling your needs elsewhere.

 

I have seen many couples with mismatch outlook, muscular Godzilla with cinderalla’s stepmother, super model face with one that is twisted beyond recognition. They are those who are attracted to things beyond aesthetic (hopefully not the wealth). A lock and lock, key and key will never be compatible. Find someone that suits you and be able to accept his shortcoming. If he is binge eating and having a mess up diet that irks the hell out of you, let him know, or move on.

I suppose chemistry plays an important role in sustaining a relationship. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

[earth_tone]

-

Edited September 10, 2021 by earth_tone

[earth_tone]

On 7/5/2021 at 12:17 PM, Blogger Adam said:

Twenty years ago, when I got together with my partner J, he was super lean and fit. 
 

His shoulders were nicely defined, his abs the work of a divine sculptor. 
 

At 24, his bod still retained the benefits of the regimental training routine he went through for his sport in his earlier years. 
 

I was 23 and a walking sack of potatoes (or rice, noodles, curry — depending on what I’d stuffed my face with that day, basically). 
 

Despite looking delightfully plump, and far from muscular, J had never once minded. 
 

In our 30s, vanity ruled those years. 
 

It was my turn to look lean and fit while J, who rejoiced in not having to train for his sport, slowed down his fitness pace. 
 

He deflated — shoulders shrank and he sported a bulge (I’ve always loved bulges but they need to be in the correct places)

 

I began to nag at him saying he’s very skinny-fat and he needed to lose that lil belly. 
 

He would roll his eyes and ignore me. 
 

Now that we’re in our forties, when I look at J, what crosses my mind isn’t that he has more white hair or that he’s looking less fit than when we first met. 
 

I look at him and worry about the curvature of his neck which is slowly curving downwards.
 

The preview of how my J would turn out in the next 10 to 20 years pains me.

 

I no longer want him to look lean and fit and muscular.

 

All I worry about is whether he’ll be healthy when we’re both in our 50s, 60s and 70s. 
 

I sometimes do look at his old photos of his swimmer days and would quip that I miss that hot stud. 
 

Then I get reminded that when I was Rolly Polly, he had loved me even though I looked like Shrek. 
 

These days, I try my best to see the value of inner beauty in things, rather than how good they look on the surface. 

so sweet

[30yochinese]

On 7/4/2021 at 12:57 PM, Notti said:

I go gym to look good and got admired by many. What's your objective? Would you want your the other half just as muscular?

Thx for posing this question. i have asked myself many times... do i need a guy who is gymfit & looks like a Greek God/Adonis?

                            
Yes... if he has the technique of a Porn Star... no point if he looks good on the outside but doesn’t even know how to give a BJ🤫

                                 
                     
after dating men...
I’ve come to the realisation that men come in all shapes & sizes & its none of my business to hope/wish/ask for someone who has a Low B.M.I. & the waistline of a Model to love me.
                            

                                                    

if the guy is muscular... & likes me... i have won the lottery-first-prize... but if he is more stocky than me & looks like an “ah beng” but still likes me... i will...

                         
     ... make an effort to fall in love with him & hopefully time will tell that this is TRUE❤️LOVE becoz( by choosing this guy) i am forsaking physical appearances & choosing to love him despite his harsh exterior 😃

[NSA chinese]

On 7/5/2021 at 12:17 PM, Blogger Adam said:

Twenty years ago, when I got together with my partner J, he was super lean and fit. 
 

His shoulders were nicely defined, his abs the work of a divine sculptor. 
 

At 24, his bod still retained the benefits of the regimental training routine he went through for his sport in his earlier years. 
 

I was 23 and a walking sack of potatoes (or rice, noodles, curry — depending on what I’d stuffed my face with that day, basically). 
 

Despite looking delightfully plump, and far from muscular, J had never once minded. 
 

In our 30s, vanity ruled those years. 
 

It was my turn to look lean and fit while J, who rejoiced in not having to train for his sport, slowed down his fitness pace. 
 

He deflated — shoulders shrank and he sported a bulge (I’ve always loved bulges but they need to be in the correct places)

 

I began to nag at him saying he’s very skinny-fat and he needed to lose that lil belly. 
 

He would roll his eyes and ignore me. 
 

Now that we’re in our forties, when I look at J, what crosses my mind isn’t that he has more white hair or that he’s looking less fit than when we first met. 
 

I look at him and worry about the curvature of his neck which is slowly curving downwards.
 

The preview of how my J would turn out in the next 10 to 20 years pains me.

 

I no longer want him to look lean and fit and muscular.

 

All I worry about is whether he’ll be healthy when we’re both in our 50s, 60s and 70s. 
 

I sometimes do look at his old photos of his swimmer days and would quip that I miss that hot stud. 
 

Then I get reminded that when I was Rolly Polly, he had loved me even though I looked like Shrek. 
 

These days, I try my best to see the value of inner beauty in things, rather than how good they look on the surface. 

It’s so touching and the last few paragraphs almost brought tears to my eyes. That’s also my biggest fear too. At this stage, health and our well-being is more important than looks. 
 

I wish you both good health and bliss in the many more years to come. 

[Strange Fruit]

Years ago, when my body was fitter than it is now, because I cared to go to the gym more and also because having just come out of army it was a combination of youthful metabolism and maintaining what was already second nature due to army training, I used to think I wanted a ‘hot’ boyfriend. But the reality was that I wasn’t particularly gorgeous or fit even if I put in the effort -  the genetic lottery is such that someone who tries harder may still lag behind someone naturally blessed (isn’t that life in general) so usually I ended up with fairly average Joes whose company I nonetheless greatly enjoyed. I have not had many partners or boyfriends throughout my lifetime - i’ve never been particularly sexually-motivated in or out of a relationship which might explain why I have been single for years. And perhaps what always ended most of my relationships was either an eventual dissatisfaction on my part that I was always the ‘fitter’ one, or the gnawing sadness on theirs that they would never ultimately be my ideal type, when they realised I would quietly go off after sex to finish myself off to a porno with some unattainable Adonis. As I grow older and less fit myself I realise with apprehension that I have not lost my expectations, and the great tragedy of the ageing gay man isn’t so much that he is ageing but rather that his sexual expectations have not matured with his years. 
 

in life I am far from superficial or shallow; I value real friendships, I like the simple things in life, I’m often drawn to flawed or vulnerable people. But when it comes to getting the blood flowing I still go for lean and buff, which is both elusive and popular on the scene. And yet, even if I had what I liked sexually, I doubt I could really keep up with all that athletic shagging and eventually I would tire of him too. So basically yeah, I probably would like a muscular boyfriend, but whether I can handle the reality and difficulty of having one is another matter. 

[NSA chinese]

On 8/20/2021 at 1:53 PM, Strange Fruit said:

Years ago, when my body was fitter than it is now, because I cared to go to the gym more and also because having just come out of army it was a combination of youthful metabolism and maintaining what was already second nature due to army training, I used to think I wanted a ‘hot’ boyfriend. But the reality was that I wasn’t particularly gorgeous or fit even if I put in the effort -  the genetic lottery is such that someone who tries harder may still lag behind someone naturally blessed (isn’t that life in general) so usually I ended up with fairly average Joes whose company I nonetheless greatly enjoyed. I have not had many partners or boyfriends throughout my lifetime - i’ve never been particularly sexually-motivated in or out of a relationship which might explain why I have been single for years. And perhaps what always ended most of my relationships was either an eventual dissatisfaction on my part that I was always the ‘fitter’ one, or the gnawing sadness on theirs that they would never ultimately be my ideal type, when they realised I would quietly go off after sex to finish myself off to a porno with some unattainable Adonis. As I grow older and less fit myself I realise with apprehension that I have not lost my expectations, and the great tragedy of the ageing gay man isn’t so much that he is ageing but rather that his sexual expectations have not matured with his years. 
 

in life I am far from superficial or shallow; I value real friendships, I like the simple things in life, I’m often drawn to flawed or vulnerable people. But when it comes to getting the blood flowing I still go for lean and buff, which is both elusive and popular on the scene. And yet, even if I had what I liked sexually, I doubt I could really keep up with all that athletic shagging and eventually I would tire of him too. So basically yeah, I probably would like a muscular boyfriend, but whether I can handle the reality and difficulty of having one is another matter. 

This is symptomatic of the modern society where aesthetics/packaging rank higher than the content. In the pursuit for physical beauty, we lose sight of the inner beauty. 
 

and despite the awareness of our aging, we don’t moderate our sexual expectations to match that of our very own physical age. Our preferences shaped during our younger days largely remain unchanged/the same and therein lies the unhappiness and dissatisfaction of our lives with increasing age. Indoctrinated by marketing ploys and social media, we often remain besotted with the exuberance of youth and physical beauty. 
 

only when the magic mirror shatters to reveal who we truly are can we eventually wake up from the dream and come to terms with the harsh reality of life. So it’s better to be honest with ourselves early to avoid disappointments later in life. 

Edited August 20, 2021 by NSA chinese

[begleitung]

On 7/6/2021 at 1:03 PM, p2468 said:

Based on your pic, I do not admire you. 😁

U must be fitter

[begleitung]

I wonder how true is it when they say opposites attract, lol

[Notti]

On 8/20/2021 at 1:53 PM, Strange Fruit said:

Years ago, when my body was fitter than it is now, because I cared to go to the gym more and also because having just come out of army it was a combination of youthful metabolism and maintaining what was already second nature due to army training, I used to think I wanted a ‘hot’ boyfriend. But the reality was that I wasn’t particularly gorgeous or fit even if I put in the effort -  the genetic lottery is such that someone who tries harder may still lag behind someone naturally blessed (isn’t that life in general) so usually I ended up with fairly average Joes whose company I nonetheless greatly enjoyed. I have not had many partners or boyfriends throughout my lifetime - i’ve never been particularly sexually-motivated in or out of a relationship which might explain why I have been single for years. And perhaps what always ended most of my relationships was either an eventual dissatisfaction on my part that I was always the ‘fitter’ one, or the gnawing sadness on theirs that they would never ultimately be my ideal type, when they realised I would quietly go off after sex to finish myself off to a porno with some unattainable Adonis. As I grow older and less fit myself I realise with apprehension that I have not lost my expectations, and the great tragedy of the ageing gay man isn’t so much that he is ageing but rather that his sexual expectations have not matured with his years. 
 

in life I am far from superficial or shallow; I value real friendships, I like the simple things in life, I’m often drawn to flawed or vulnerable people. But when it comes to getting the blood flowing I still go for lean and buff, which is both elusive and popular on the scene. And yet, even if I had what I liked sexually, I doubt I could really keep up with all that athletic shagging and eventually I would tire of him too. So basically yeah, I probably would like a muscular boyfriend, but whether I can handle the reality and difficulty of having one is another matter. 

👍👍👍

[yuquidam]

On 7/5/2021 at 12:17 PM, Blogger Adam said:

Twenty years ago, when I got together with my partner J, he was super lean and fit. 
 

His shoulders were nicely defined, his abs the work of a divine sculptor. 
 

At 24, his bod still retained the benefits of the regimental training routine he went through for his sport in his earlier years. 
 

I was 23 and a walking sack of potatoes (or rice, noodles, curry — depending on what I’d stuffed my face with that day, basically). 
 

Despite looking delightfully plump, and far from muscular, J had never once minded. 
 

In our 30s, vanity ruled those years. 
 

It was my turn to look lean and fit while J, who rejoiced in not having to train for his sport, slowed down his fitness pace. 
 

He deflated — shoulders shrank and he sported a bulge (I’ve always loved bulges but they need to be in the correct places)

 

I began to nag at him saying he’s very skinny-fat and he needed to lose that lil belly. 
 

He would roll his eyes and ignore me. 
 

Now that we’re in our forties, when I look at J, what crosses my mind isn’t that he has more white hair or that he’s looking less fit than when we first met. 
 

I look at him and worry about the curvature of his neck which is slowly curving downwards.
 

The preview of how my J would turn out in the next 10 to 20 years pains me.

 

I no longer want him to look lean and fit and muscular.

 

All I worry about is whether he’ll be healthy when we’re both in our 50s, 60s and 70s. 
 

I sometimes do look at his old photos of his swimmer days and would quip that I miss that hot stud. 
 

Then I get reminded that when I was Rolly Polly, he had loved me even though I looked like Shrek. 
 

These days, I try my best to see the value of inner beauty in things, rather than how good they look on the surface. 

Am touched by your sharing too.

 

I too sincerely wish both of you many good years of love, health and care for one another. *Muaaaak*

[Guest Get out of here!]

I can't believe it!!  Nope, I am not convince that musculine equate beauty.   Beauty comes naturally when a person is happy and lived a wonderous life eating what pleases them, be it natural healthy food or occassionaly splurge on scrumptuous delicacies.   Torturing yourself with heavy restricitve diet that taste like shit or some chemically developed protein to develop hideous muscles in some places is completely insane.

 

[Guest Yep]

On 9/25/2021 at 12:26 PM, Guest Get out of here! said:

I can't believe it!!  Nope, I am not convince that musculine equate beauty.   Beauty comes naturally when a person is happy and lived a wonderous life eating what pleases them, be it natural healthy food or occassionaly splurge on scrumptuous delicacies.   Torturing yourself with heavy restricitve diet that taste like shit or some chemically developed protein to develop hideous muscles in some places is completely insane.

 

 

Yep. That's why the other half should be the muscular one. They do all the work so I can enjoy haha. I be the fat, daddy kind. 

[dilbert0987]

I work out to look good too. As for the other half, as long as he attracts me in any way, it is good enough. 😄

[Kenjikenji]

On 9/25/2021 at 6:39 PM, dilbert0987 said:

I work out to look good too. As for the other half, as long as he attracts me in any way, it is good enough. 😄

Agreed . As long as u are attracted to him . 

[grandy]

On 8/20/2021 at 1:53 PM, Strange Fruit said:

Years ago, when my body was fitter than it is now, because I cared to go to the gym more and also because having just come out of army it was a combination of youthful metabolism and maintaining what was already second nature due to army training, I used to think I wanted a ‘hot’ boyfriend. But the reality was that I wasn’t particularly gorgeous or fit even if I put in the effort -  the genetic lottery is such that someone who tries harder may still lag behind someone naturally blessed (isn’t that life in general) so usually I ended up with fairly average Joes whose company I nonetheless greatly enjoyed. I have not had many partners or boyfriends throughout my lifetime - i’ve never been particularly sexually-motivated in or out of a relationship which might explain why I have been single for years. And perhaps what always ended most of my relationships was either an eventual dissatisfaction on my part that I was always the ‘fitter’ one, or the gnawing sadness on theirs that they would never ultimately be my ideal type, when they realised I would quietly go off after sex to finish myself off to a porno with some unattainable Adonis. As I grow older and less fit myself I realise with apprehension that I have not lost my expectations, and the great tragedy of the ageing gay man isn’t so much that he is ageing but rather that his sexual expectations have not matured with his years. 
 

in life I am far from superficial or shallow; I value real friendships, I like the simple things in life, I’m often drawn to flawed or vulnerable people. But when it comes to getting the blood flowing I still go for lean and buff, which is both elusive and popular on the scene. And yet, even if I had what I liked sexually, I doubt I could really keep up with all that athletic shagging and eventually I would tire of him too. So basically yeah, I probably would like a muscular boyfriend, but whether I can handle the reality and difficulty of having one is another matter. 

Jiayou, never too late to find someone with your now lowered expectations! =) All the best, wishing you happiness and love soon!

 

My opinion on this topic:

Yes I would want, but I always get chemistry with those who are not, so ... haha =) I guess when it comes, there's no need to really hold your expectations accountable as the heart will point to the right way.

Edited June 25, 2023 by grandy
Added my opinion, instead of writing as 2 separate posts.

[Steve5380]

On 7/4/2021 at 8:39 AM, Guest Guest said:

 

I prefer intelligence than physical attractiveness.  What the use of having a nice body but no brain. 

 

On 7/4/2021 at 11:19 AM, Zealouslogue said:

Totally agree! 💯

 

Don't agree so fast!    It is not a tradeoff.  Given up physical attractiveness DOES NOT increase intelligence.