30yochinese Posted July 24, 2021 Report Share Posted July 24, 2021 sorry, my friend did not die of suicide, he was diagnosed with Leukemia & didn't get a bone marrow match =( the trauma experienced by the Parents of the 13yo... i experienced coz when my friend died... i questioned my existence. Why is God so cruel to take him away becoz of illness? seeing my friend from secondary school to age 21yo, he had a promising future, he secured a place in N.U.S. & when he was doing National Service, he was a LTA. everyone was jealous of his achievements... & then news came about his illness. he was warded at N.U.H. Kent Ridge Wing & passed away there. There is closure for me, coz i spent time with him before his passing. Whereas the Parents of the 13yo can only depend on photos as memories of their son. & coz he died so young... his life span is shorter than my friend so he leaves behind less memories... how are the Parents of my friend coping with the loss of their son? tbh, they are strong becoz of their faith in God. tbh, both are high nett worth individuals. tbh, 10 years later their elder son had a son & they were happy to play with their GrandSon. But when i bumped into Mrs ** on the train, when i asked her about my friend, she looked down & said, "I will always remember his smile & laughter." from that interaction... even after 10 years... she still misses her second son. Any mother who has given birth will always miss their child. Moving on, everyone in the same class with my friend in ACSBR... makes it a point to invite Aunty & Uncle for Christmas Parties... not to show off their kids to them... but to make them feel "Part of the Family" & celebrate the life of my friend... as though he were alive & joining us in the Party. i dedicate this to K*** F**, U had so much ahead of u, thank u for the 21 years u spent on Earth. blowmenow, 1983rophi, sman.sg and 1 other 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve5380 Posted July 26, 2021 Report Share Posted July 26, 2021 (edited) 30 y.o. is rather young to have the experience you described. It is one of the strongest non-physical pains we can experience. With closure or not, the grieving can persist forever, 60 more years or so in your case. We move on from the grieving, but it remains latent. Very probably it makes us better persons in the end... I had a similar situation when my bf of 21 years passed away three years ago. I am now used to his absence, but here and there he comes into my mind and I cry. I have learned to give thanks to my destiny for having given me 21 years of life with him. I never questioned my existence, but I will forever question WHY we humans have to suffer so much grieving because of the separation from a beloved person. Another thing with which to counter the indoctrination that we should give thanks to some divinity for our life! Instead, it is reason to condemn the divinity for having made us with so many imperfections! Both your friend and mine have achieved peace, and perhaps passed to a better life. What is so negative with that? Shouldn't we celebrate their fortune to have ended this challenging state of being alive, and now being ahead of us? This is something I am trying to convince myself about. . Edited July 28, 2021 by Steve5380 Des and blowmenow 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blowmenow Posted July 29, 2021 Report Share Posted July 29, 2021 I lost a close friend 25 years ago. He met with an accident on his way back after sending me home. He was very happy of his new bike and wanted to send me back on his new bike. I could not believe it when his younger brother gave me a call between 4 to 5 am the next morning, and told me his brother was gone due to internal injuries. 'Grieving' could not express enough the feeling of losing someone close to us. Steve5380 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
30yochinese Posted July 31, 2021 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2021 On 7/30/2021 at 1:57 AM, blowmenow said: I lost a close friend 25 years ago. He met with an accident on his way back after sending me home. He was very happy of his new bike and wanted to send me back on his new bike. I could not believe it when his younger brother gave me a call between 4 to 5 am the next morning, and told me his brother was gone due to internal injuries. 'Grieving' could not express enough the feeling of losing someone close to us. Sorry to hear about ur loss, HUGS🤩😍🥰😘 1983rophi and blowmenow 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve5380 Posted August 1, 2021 Report Share Posted August 1, 2021 On 7/29/2021 at 12:57 PM, blowmenow said: I lost a close friend 25 years ago. 'Grieving' could not express enough the feeling of losing someone close to us. My condolences. It is pure devastation, nothing gives an answer to this fundamental tragedy. It is like hitting a brick wall. How you feel about it after 25 years? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GKS Posted August 1, 2021 Report Share Posted August 1, 2021 Hugs all of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
30yochinese Posted August 1, 2021 Author Report Share Posted August 1, 2021 11 minutes ago, Steve5380 said: My condolences. It is pure devastation, nothing gives an answer to this fundamental tragedy. It is like hitting a brick wall. How you feel about it after 25 years? its been 16 years( he passed on in June 2005) since my bff died of Leukemia. i don't think of him except every June on his death anniversary... i'll spent a minute to remember he is now in Heaven & no more with physical pain 😃 1983rophi 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve5380 Posted August 1, 2021 Report Share Posted August 1, 2021 7 minutes ago, 30yochinese said: its been 16 years( he passed on in June 2005) since my bff died of Leukemia. i don't think of him except every June on his death anniversary... i'll spent a minute to remember he is now in Heaven & no more with physical pain 😃 Ah, this is quite reasonable. After 16 years you are not grieving anymore. I hope the same happens with me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blowmenow Posted November 12, 2022 Report Share Posted November 12, 2022 On 8/1/2021 at 10:32 AM, 30yochinese said: its been 16 years( he passed on in June 2005) since my bff died of Leukemia. i don't think of him except every June on his death anniversary... i'll spent a minute to remember he is now in Heaven & no more with physical pain 😃 I am sorrry about ur loss too. HUGS.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abgbotaq Posted February 9, 2023 Report Share Posted February 9, 2023 Hugs n sorry for the loss..😔😭 stay strong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.