Recovering personal loan from friend

[Guest Somebody]

Hi guys, just want to know have you guys ever successful gotten back the money you loan to a friend? Loan $700 to an ex colleague of mine at the beginning of the year, every month she has been dragging and dragging. Sometimes even ignore my messages until I approach her family members. $700 is considered a fair bit to me. But just don’t get over it losing $700 for nothing. Silly me for not writing a IOU when loaning to her. 

[fab]

Pimp her.

[Guest Wtf]

IOU wouldn’t mean anything, she knows she owes you the money. Too late for you now but you should never lend money to friends, especially not amounts that you can’t afford to lose.
 

Have you asked her directly why she is not able to pay it back? It may be that she is really struggling financially. And have you explained to her why you need the money back? 
 

 

[Carpenter]

if you are rich af that even 7generation the money won’t run out, lend it all you want. if you and so so only don’t lend out too much, once or twice maybe can, but not if she keeps asking you to lend money. what did she even use the money for you must know.

[Kimochi]

This topic about lending money has been discussed so many times already. People borrow money means they owe money and is stuck with many problems. Unless they struck rich, 99 percent will not return you the money. 

 

Go hard on them. Unfriend if possible. Its your hard earned money, not theirs. 

[manehiso]

Only lend money u know u can afford not to get back.. 

[shiver]

On 9/20/2021 at 12:08 AM, manehiso said:

Only lend money u know u can afford not to get back.. 

so true. I’ve been burnt a couple of thousands before and lesson learnt 

[riverrobles]

Do not loan any money to a friend or a relative, familiarity breeds contempt.

 

If it was me, I would cut ties and just give the SGD700, it would be a lesson learned, a good reminder I would not do it again.

 

 

Methods to Recover Borrowed Money

There are three general methods of recovering your money.

We would advise starting from the first method, and then move towards the next if the debtor fails to agree on the previous method.

1. Private Negotiations

2. Legal Recourse

3. Starting a Civil Suit

 

Further details, this article should help you.

https://blog.seedly.sg/debt-collection-singapore/

[Guest Guest]

there's this saying that whatever amount that you loan out, dun expect to get it back.

if not, dun loan.

 

TS, just take it as a hard lesson learnt if you dun get your money back.

life is really more than just bothering over the $700.

learn the lesson and move on.

[Steve5380]

Before saying goodbye to the money as the price for a life lesson,  I would try one more thing. 

 

Approach the debtor as a person in need.  Tell her that you are out of money and need $500 dollars for the treatment of a sick child in your family.  If she doesn't have it, than ask for a plan to pay as much as she can each month, and stay behind it.  If she turns you down, go to her family with the same request,  making clear that you don't want to bother them but you have loaned $700 to her which she promised to pay back, so THEY are the best persons to ask for money.   If nothing works, as a last recourse go to the place she works, talk to her boss and colleagues explaining the situation and ask them to convince her to pay you back, since you "desperately need of the money for a sick child".

 

 

 

[Guest Wtf]

On 9/20/2021 at 6:33 AM, Steve5380 said:

Before saying goodbye to the money as the price for a life lesson,  I would try one more thing. 

 

Approach the debtor as a person in need.  Tell her that you are out of money and need $500 dollars for the treatment of a sick child in your family.  If she doesn't have it, than ask for a plan to pay as much as she can each month, and stay behind it.  If she turns you down, go to her family with the same request,  making clear that you don't want to bother them but you have loaned $700 to her which she promised to pay back, so THEY are the best persons to ask for money.   If nothing works, as a last recourse go to the place she works, talk to her boss and colleagues explaining the situation and ask them to convince her to pay you back, since you "desperately need of the money for a sick child".

 

 

 

Lying, emotional blackmail and public shaming? Wow, this is really terrible advice. 

[Steve5380]

On 9/19/2021 at 6:05 PM, Guest Wtf said:

Lying, emotional blackmail and public shaming? Wow, this is really terrible advice. 

 

Not much of any of that.  Can it be a practical countermeasure to fraud?

[bigdanbeam]

Your title says friend but you loaned to an ex colleague. You consider (ex)colleagues  friends?

[Guest The Passion]

On 9/20/2021 at 7:54 AM, Steve5380 said:

 

Not much of any of that.  Can it be a practical countermeasure to fraud?

Many people spend hundred of thousand dollars in school education and still look pretty stupid.  Some lesson can only be learned from real life experience.  May be, $700 is considered worthy to learn something not taught in school?  Don't have to publicly shame her.  She could be the victim of society problem and  $700 could mean a lot for her survival.  I am sure you can afford to miss one Botox.

[Steve5380]

On 9/19/2021 at 10:28 PM, Guest The Passion said:

Many people spend hundred of thousand dollars in school education and still look pretty stupid.  Some lesson can only be learned from real life experience.  May be, $700 is considered worthy to learn something not taught in school?  Don't have to publicly shame her.  She could be the victim of society problem and  $700 could mean a lot for her survival.  I am sure you can afford to miss one Botox.

 

Well... I had an experience similar of the one of Guest Somebody as a young fellow (before I used Botox).  I was a shy and inexperienced guy and a colleague at work gave me a sad story and very kindly asked me for a loan, comparable to the $700.  He even wrote me an "I owe you".  He never payed me be back.  This was MY lesson.  But reading here,  I posted what I think I should have done at the time.   Of course my suggestion could vary, depending on the circumstances of the indebted.

[Genesis]

Out of goodwill ,lend $50 to a friend in Feb  2021 as he is jobless

 

Up till now have not pay back.....really so poor ?

[Guest Grace]

On 9/20/2021 at 11:42 AM, Steve5380 said:

 

Well... I had an experience similar of the one of Guest Somebody as a young fellow (before I used Botox).  I was a shy and inexperienced guy and a colleague at work gave me a sad story and very kindly asked me for a loan, comparable to the $700.  He even wrote me an "I owe you".  He never payed me be back.  This was MY lesson.  But reading here,  I posted what I think I should have done at the time.   Of course my suggestion could vary, depending on the circumstances of the indebted.

We all have similar experience.  50 years ago, my family lend $50 to a neighbour who have 7 kids to feed,  though we barely scrap by to put meal on the table.  One day, this neighbour had a lottery windfall and refused to return the money they borrowed.  My mom decided to ask for the money, but was met with cold shoulder just because she dare to ask. The money was reluctantly returned to us, in exchange for cold war that span over a period of 20 years until we relocated. 

 

$50 is considered a big sum of money, in our ancestor's time, thus I fully support your suggestions in those days.  Now, your suggestion may seem a little cruel because $700 is not enough to survive in the modern world with high cost of living.  Even if the person worked an income of $1000 and after deducting taxes, basic household necessities and left with only $200 net disposable to last a month, how on earth can she fork out even a dollar to repay you?   Public shaming is like adding salt to someone's wound and the borrower may find it challenging to get back to society after being shamed and blacklisted.  It is even worse to think about her losing her only source of income after being fired from her job because of your suggestions.

[Guest Big Picture]

On 9/20/2021 at 11:51 AM, Genesis said:

Out of goodwill ,lend $50 to a friend in Feb  2021 as he is jobless

 

Up till now have not pay back.....really so poor ?

Singapore has earned the top list of high cost of living and also has the most depressing wage that span over 2 decades.  When you combined the two elements, the result is shocking that every poverty data is hidden from public view.  My answer to you, very probable.

[FattChoy]

On 9/19/2021 at 9:58 PM, Guest Somebody said:

Hi guys, just want to know have you guys ever successful gotten back the money you loan to a friend? Loan $700 to an ex colleague of mine at the beginning of the year, every month she has been dragging and dragging. Sometimes even ignore my messages until I approach her family members. $700 is considered a fair bit to me. But just don’t get over it losing $700 for nothing. Silly me for not writing a IOU when loaning to her. 

You'll never see the money again.  Consider it pek kim donation in advanced

[Guest $50 story]

On 9/20/2021 at 11:51 AM, Genesis said:

Out of goodwill ,lend $50 to a friend in Feb  2021 as he is jobless

 

Up till now have not pay back.....really so poor ?

Our president donated $50 to charity and make a hooha out of it.   $50 is a big deal, repay or not.

[Guest Bubblecakez]

If you can afford to ask for a loan, have the decency to repay back, even if it means a small amount monthly. 

[Neh Neh]

Teach TS a trick to squeeze money bit by bit from her which i have seen from a colleague in the past. She always follow colleagues to hawker during lunch hours, then she will say loudly "oh i forgot to bring wallet, pls borrow me $10".

If TS, do this pattern TS will recover his hard earned money from her in 3 mths time ^^

[Void1376]

I've been through a few experiences of borrowing and lending money all the way back when I was only 14 years old. Lent up to $10 out of "friendship" when my daily lunch money was just $1.  When I asked back the money, my "friend" just brushed me away with excuses. Decided to end the friendship and never saw my money returned to me.

 

My own rule of thumb today is decide the level of relationship or friendship I have with the person and decide how important that amount of money is to the other person. I have lent up to $2,000 to friends who was going through dark and tough times, just so that they can get by momentarily.

 

And I lend as though I won't see the money back just to help a friend in desperate need. Some have paid me back when they've bounced back and some have not.

 

Helping out a close person in need is worth much more to me as I believe money can be earned back.

Edited September 20, 2021 by Void1376

[Guest Papaya]

Someone ever do this, cut and phase yr conversation to mutual friend group, with the borrower name hidden, just warn her, if she still refuse to pay, will reveal her name when the time come.

[Steve5380]

On 9/19/2021 at 11:18 PM, Guest Grace said:

 

$50 is considered a big sum of money, in our ancestor's time, thus I fully support your suggestions in those days.  Now, your suggestion may seem a little cruel because $700 is not enough to survive in the modern world with high cost of living.  Even if the person worked an income of $1000 and after deducting taxes, basic household necessities and left with only $200 net disposable to last a month, how on earth can she fork out even a dollar to repay you?   Public shaming is like adding salt to someone's wound and the borrower may find it challenging to get back to society after being shamed and blacklisted.  It is even worse to think about her losing her only source of income after being fired from her job because of your suggestions.

 

 

Yes, it can be cruel depending on the circumstances.  My suggestion was more a way to threaten her to return the money.  Had she had not enough money to pay back the $700 but good will to return it, she would have worked out a plan to do it in installments even as low as $20 a month.

 

I send about $250 every month to the sister and elderly father and uncle of my late bf who live in Mexico, like he did when he was alive. I do this in his memory and will continue indefinitely.  I know that there is a need, and I get back so much gratitude that it is a bargain for the well being of my spirit. This is quite different from having been taken as a fool.

[JosephGraham]

My friends always give me money back on time, and I had no problems with it. Your fault was in not writing an IOU, that's for sure. But who would expect that a friend can act like this. Of course, there are many bad situations that happen with people but you should ask for help and be respectful to your friend. People choose to be liars instead, that's sad. I was in the same situation when I had a huge loan debt, but I tried to find the solution on my own. I read many books and articles to get out of debt fast and without problems. And I was surprised to know that it isn't that difficult as people usually imagine. You just need to be a lil smarter.

Edited October 17, 2021 by JosephGraham

[Guest Borrower]

Why get yourself into such a situation? 

[singalion]

There have been other threads on same issue.

 

Moderators might intend to lump all these loan issues into one single thread. Just a suggestion...

[earth_tone]

My advise, take to the most extreme measure without breaking the law or wiping out your conscience/morality to get your money back. Do it. You deserve every single cent you gave to her back. Why would anyone think borrowing money to a person should equate to charity out of goodwill? It was obviously a scam to get you to part with your hard earned. Give them back what they deserved, these people have to learn to honor their words.

[bluerunner]

No matter how close friends two person are, money can destroy the friendship. Morale of the story: Keep $ out of all relationships 

[Naveyafluz]

When you decided to lend, you must always tell yourself you will not get it back. It will be good if you do, but don't expect. That's why can don't lend, just don't lend as money will harm all relationships. There are so many legal platforms for extra cash anyway.

[Guest Guest]

My case is not about money.If money can solve the problem is easy My friend want to borrow my address  for illegal registration.He should have use money to buy address but he chose to do it without letting u know his purpose. that is more problematic.If  is a small sum u can forget about getting it back.If a person don't  have the money how u force him he still can't pay u back.

[bluerunner]

Never loan $ to friend or relative no matter how close your relationship is. When it comes to money, everything will get ugly. Friend becomes enemy. Relative also becomes enemy. 
Want money, loan from bank. 

[fab]

On 12/28/2021 at 8:58 AM, bluerunner said:

Never loan $ to friend or relative no matter how close your relationship is. When it comes to money, everything will get ugly. Friend becomes enemy. Relative also becomes enemy. 
Want money, loan from bank. 

 

Hubby or wife can loan?

[bluerunner]

On 12/28/2021 at 10:05 AM, fab said:

 

Hubby or wife can loan?

If she is your wife: What’s yours is hers. What’s hers is still hers. 
If he is your hubby: What’s yours is his when both are lovey dovey mode. What’s his may not be yours, it could be shared w other guys. When love turns sour, that’s when hell starts. 
 

[mate69]

Rule No. 1: Finances MUST be secret to all except you yourself. NEVER reveal your true state of your finances. EVER. NEVER EVER.

Rule No. 2: Stick to Rule No. 1

Rule No. 3: Stick to Rule No. 1

 

[auscent]

Before that, go back to her. Beg/ threaten with all means

[Guest Guest]

Other than money people also want to borrow underwear.jacket.shoes and even instant noddles during army days and never return.

[nikopalyn]

In order to engage in competent refinancing of your mortgage, you should turn to a real professional in this matter, because only with his help you can do it as safely as possible and without any financial losses.

[gregzeters]

My logic is if you want to lend money, dun expect them to return. Lending money is one of the best way to see through a person character.
 

[Guest ffffffff]

You also see a person's true colors just by going on an overseas holiday together, stay together or even school camps are pretty good tests.

[Guest guest]

On 3/3/2022 at 9:49 AM, gregzeters said:

My logic is if you want to lend money, dun expect them to return. Lending money is one of the best way to see through a person character.
 

Best is to know friends who are rich, earn high salary, so that you would not have problem having friends who borrow money from you.

[Guest GUEST]

On 3/3/2022 at 6:06 PM, Guest ffffffff said:

You also see a person's true colors just by going on an overseas holiday together, stay together or even school camps are pretty good tests.

I agreed on this. I have lesser a few friends after we went holiday together, quite sad.

[doncoin]

I had this situation recently. A friend approached me to borrow money I knew he has been struggling for a while since the pandemic locked downs etc. as he works in retail and then became a food delivery guy etc. and now working 2 jobs. I just gave him 1/2 of what he had requested and told him not to worry about returning. I just don't want to have to remind myself or him to repay me in the future. I told him to consider it a no-strings-attached gift. 

 

I know many people are struggling and it can be hard out there, and since I can help a little, I will.

[Guest ffffffff]

On 3/3/2022 at 10:51 PM, Guest GUEST said:

I agreed on this. I have lesser a few friends after we went holiday together, quite sad

It was an indescribable joy not to have those fair weathered, gossipy, step on the lowly worship the mighty types around me.

[bigdanbeam]

On 3/3/2022 at 10:51 PM, Guest GUEST said:

I agreed on this. I have lesser a few friends after we went holiday together, quite sad.

Cos they have seen your true colours and unfriended you?

[Guest 滥贱 冰冰]

On 9/19/2021 at 10:07 PM, fab said:

Pimp her.

 

Must got value first.

[Guest Guest]

I only do secured loan.  Only accept appraised gold and authenticated Rolex. 

 

If you have nothing valuable to me, then borrow from Ah Long-san at any coffee shop. 

 

I have 1000 better things to do than chasing payment.

[Guest ffffffff]

It is also very natural for friends to work together or hire someone because you are familiar with.

 

It's is one of the major reasons for falling out. Because if you work together or hire friends, work conflicts are inevitable.

[Guest GUEST]

On 3/4/2022 at 6:46 AM, bigdanbeam said:

Cos they have seen your true colours and unfriended you?

We have seen each other true colours and unfriended each other.