Guest Try and See Posted October 14, 2021 Report Share Posted October 14, 2021 My 80 yo father is getting more stubborn and no one can handle him anymore at home. He also forget instructions after providing it to him repeatedly. We are thinking to put him in a nursing home. What would you recommend? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jacko Posted October 14, 2021 Report Share Posted October 14, 2021 Best Nursing Home is ur home....☺️ Steve5380 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Not nursing home Posted October 14, 2021 Report Share Posted October 14, 2021 On 10/15/2021 at 12:04 AM, Guest Try and See said: He also forget instructions after providing it to him repeatedly. Dementia ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fatty Posted October 14, 2021 Report Share Posted October 14, 2021 On 10/15/2021 at 6:12 AM, jacko said: Best Nursing Home is ur home....☺️ But nobody looks after us Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
practease Posted October 15, 2021 Report Share Posted October 15, 2021 I heard about All Saints https://allsaintshome.org.sg/ But nursing homes can be rather costly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
single42 Posted October 15, 2021 Report Share Posted October 15, 2021 On 10/15/2021 at 8:40 AM, practease said: I heard about All Saints https://allsaintshome.org.sg/ But nursing homes can be rather costly. You sure u wanna put ur parent there??!! it is a hotspot for covid recently & it is directly the regional swabbing centre (former shuqun secondary school) where we deal with folks from the marine, construction & processing sectors, CAAS, the SFA (singapore food association) folks (hawkers & fnb staffs), folks from keppel as well. wat a way to show love to ur parent man... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fab Posted October 15, 2021 Report Share Posted October 15, 2021 Quote 鍾意就好，理佢男定女 never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want. 结缘不结怨 解怨不解缘 After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say. 看穿不说穿 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tree Posted October 15, 2021 Report Share Posted October 15, 2021 Living With Dementia Parent Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
practease Posted October 15, 2021 Report Share Posted October 15, 2021 On 10/15/2021 at 8:54 PM, single42 said: You sure u wanna put ur parent there??!! it is a hotspot for covid recently & it is directly the regional swabbing centre (former shuqun secondary school) where we deal with folks from the marine, construction & processing sectors, CAAS, the SFA (singapore food association) folks (hawkers & fnb staffs), folks from keppel as well. wat a way to show love to ur parent man... My parents have long passed on. I merely answered the thread starters question basing on what I heard from others, it wasn't even a recommendation. And here you are assuming what? Self righteous much? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doncoin Posted October 15, 2021 Report Share Posted October 15, 2021 There are certain realities that makes caregiving to a senior parent impossible. If you are the primary breadwinner and your partner/spouse is also working, plus say you have 2 young kids, you may not have the resources to be a fulltime caregiver. You can hire a domestic help, but the helper's job is not a caregiver. She is there to help with cleaning, cooking, etc. A senior home can be a better options and there are folks there who are closer to his age, and can keep him company etc. and provide the mental and physical stimulation he needs versus being home alone all day. Another option to consider perhaps is a senior day care center. You drop him off in the morning, and maybe have the helper, or yourself pick him up in the evening/late afternoon. It is challenging when everyday you see yourself becoming a stranger to your parent. Quote Love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve5380 Posted October 16, 2021 Report Share Posted October 16, 2021 On 10/15/2021 at 9:14 AM, doncoin said: There are certain realities that makes caregiving to a senior parent impossible. If you are the primary breadwinner and your partner/spouse is also working, plus say you have 2 young kids, you may not have the resources to be a fulltime caregiver. You can hire a domestic help, but the helper's job is not a caregiver. She is there to help with cleaning, cooking, etc. A senior home can be a better options and there are folks there who are closer to his age, and can keep him company etc. and provide the mental and physical stimulation he needs versus being home alone all day. Another option to consider perhaps is a senior day care center. You drop him off in the morning, and maybe have the helper, or yourself pick him up in the evening/late afternoon. It is challenging when everyday you see yourself becoming a stranger to your parent. What happened with the situation where both parents work, they have two young children, and there is a grandparent in the house who looks after the children, do some house chores and help in what he or she can? Such grandparents are happy, and having some responsibility keeps them from becoming worthless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lean n mean Posted October 16, 2021 Report Share Posted October 16, 2021 (edited) It is better to hire one or two helpers to attend to him at home. From personal experience. Old folks esp those suffering from alzaimers are anxious about new surroundings. Nursing homes are more expensive than hiring helpers and they really dont give a lot of attention. Also many patients groaning and calling for staff non stop and visitors at all times ; there is no peace and privacy at all. when hiring the helper its important to inform her your dads mental condition. Find one who has some sort of nursing experience, has grandparents or older parents at home and is at least in her late 30s. They are more patient and understanding. Let her know its going to be constant watch over your dad and pls dont load her with other activities at home. She should be solely looking after yr dad to make it work. good luck. Edited October 16, 2021 by lean n mean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SluttyNurse Posted October 16, 2021 Report Share Posted October 16, 2021 On 10/15/2021 at 12:04 AM, Guest Try and See said: My 80 yo father is getting more stubborn and no one can handle him anymore at home. He also forget instructions after providing it to him repeatedly. We are thinking to put him in a nursing home. What would you recommend? now nursing homes have a lot if infections (refer to MOH website). better not go Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tomato Posted October 16, 2021 Report Share Posted October 16, 2021 On 10/16/2021 at 11:25 AM, lean n mean said: It is better to hire one or two helpers to attend to him at home. From personal experience. Old folks esp those suffering from alzaimers are anxious about new surroundings. Nursing homes are more expensive than hiring helpers and they really dont give a lot of attention. Also many patients groaning and calling for staff non stop and visitors at all times ; there is no peace and privacy at all. when hiring the helper its important to inform her your dads mental condition. Find one who has some sort of nursing experience, has grandparents or older parents at home and is at least in her late 30s. They are more patient and understanding. Let her know its going to be constant watch over your dad and pls dont load her with other activities at home. She should be solely looking after yr dad to make it work. good luck. It is increasingly challenging to employ (foreign) helpers working in Singapore nowadays. Many who knows about working abroad outside their homeland, do not like Singapore, or rather Singaporeans. The money may be good but Singaporeans' bad reputation travel afar. I dread to see how such issues will worsen as the years pass by, when these foreign helpers cease coming to Spore, or more regulations making hiring them very expensive. In a way, this is Singaporeans' karma, as our people emphasized too much on maklng money and too invest little in human relationships. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robin Posted October 16, 2021 Report Share Posted October 16, 2021 (edited) In Singapore, the word 'convenience' does not come cheap. I am not sure if TS has strong financial resources before he even consider nursing home as an option. Either he is financially comfortable, or unless he is under extreme poverty and is in a unique situation to get high subsidies, I do not think this is a viable option. After all, it is not our garment's plan to let most old folks live in an affordable nursing home and most old folks do not wish to live there too. I do not know what is the monthly rate charged by nursing homes. But without subsidies, taking into consideration that it has to include accommodation, meals, 24 hours of challenging effort and trained professional skills, I am assuming it is around the rate of $4.5 - 6K. With this budget, there are better options. My mom became wheelchair bound about 3 years ago. I have gotten her a one-bedroom apartment nearby my place so my siblings and I can visit her often and stay over if we would like to. Below are the cost breakdown: - One-bedroom private apartment - $2k - Maid - $1K (salary of $$600 + meals + miscellaneous). With pandemic, it may now be $1.5-2K - Mom's maintenance - $1000 (meals + diapers + simple enjoyment, excludes medical/insurance) - Utilities $200 The above will come up to $4.5-5.5K. Apart from finances, there is a very key role to play, which is the maid, my mom's caretaker. I am very thankful that on my 1st time hiring of a maid, I manage to get a perfect match: Strong character to manage my mom's nonsense, plus size lady who is strong enough to lift my mom up when necessary, and someone who was rejected by other employers due to her stubborn character (due to the rejection, she treasured the employment given by me). When my mom was hospitalized and under physiotherapy, I quickly use that opportunity get the nurses and physiotherapist to give her some training. Below are her tasks: - No cooking (very important) - Keep the one-bedroom apartment clean and neat - Wash 2 people's daily clothing - Get my mom to do her daily physio exercises - Buy meals for her - Be at my mom's side at all times to support her in her daily movement (go hair salon, visit malls (pre-covid times), go daycare center etc) - Shower my mom, change her diapers and bring her to toilet in the middle of the night etc. - Give my mom daily injection for her ailment (she was trained by the nurses) - Keep her company Apart from the above, she is free to watch TV & play with her phone, a freedom which she treasured a lot. Generally, she is quite free most of the time. Of course, I have CCTV installed to make sure that all things are done in moderation. The above solution has worked for me for 3 years and I am glad about it. One day if I am wheelchair bound or bedridden, I would also like to continue to live in my own house and hire a full-time caretaker too. The caretaker will be able to bring me to visit my friends or go places which I want to go rather than being confined in a nursing home. Only thing is, hopefully by then, it will be easier to hire a male caretaker. Edited October 17, 2021 by robin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UndiesFetish Posted October 27, 2021 Report Share Posted October 27, 2021 Seek a doctor's advice on his medical condition to assess the appropriate care he needs at his primary care institution. Ask to see a Medical Social Worker to assist you in the exploration and application process. If you need more info on elderly and community care, www.aic.sg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
30yochinese Posted April 19, 2023 Report Share Posted April 19, 2023 hi all. wanted to add to this post. a month ago i had lunch with a church friend. He was working as a CAREGIVER in a nursing home. He shared with me everything, the good, the dirty & the pride/joy of serving the elderly. i was inspired so guess what i did? i went to NTUC Learning Hub & signed up for a 3 month course> https://www.ntuclearninghub.com/skillsfuture-career-transition-programme/healthcare-assistant 4 months from now i will be certified: as a CareGiver & start work. hope i am mentally prepared for the trauma/drama of dealing with elderly patients...wish me luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robin Posted April 19, 2023 Report Share Posted April 19, 2023 6 hours ago, 30yochinese said: hi all. wanted to add to this post. a month ago i had lunch with a church friend. He was working as a CAREGIVER in a nursing home. He shared with me everything, the good, the dirty & the pride/joy of serving the elderly. i was inspired so guess what i did? i went to NTUC Learning Hub & signed up for a 3 month course> https://www.ntuclearninghub.com/skillsfuture-career-transition-programme/healthcare-assistant 4 months from now i will be certified: as a CareGiver & start work. hope i am mentally prepared for the trauma/drama of dealing with elderly patients...wish me luck! All the best, mate! Please share with us your experiences 6-months after you have started on this role, thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Anon Posted April 20, 2023 Report Share Posted April 20, 2023 Can also try assisted living instead of nursing homes. E.g. this one: https://www.redcrowns.co/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyglobe Posted April 20, 2023 Report Share Posted April 20, 2023 On 10/15/2021 at 9:14 PM, fab said: Well said.... If u lie, that is also one of the tragic sin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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