Jump to content
Male HQ

CNY 催婚 troubles


Neh Neh

Recommended Posts

鍾意就好,理佢男定女

 

never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want.

 

结缘不结

不解缘

 

After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say.

 

看穿不说穿

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 1/10/2022 at 3:43 AM, Neh Neh said:

I think the son is a btm gay and can be quite slutty on bed ^^

 

Even the dad's bitchy stare is quite gay. 

鍾意就好,理佢男定女

 

never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want.

 

结缘不结

不解缘

 

After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say.

 

看穿不说穿

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest An eye for an eye

Divert the topic to something else and direct to somebody else e.g.

 

1.  To a married cousin with no children yet: Aiyo, why no kid yet. Need to let doctor check up?
 

2. To a married cousin with children: Aiyo, why stress your mother taking care of you children. They should be enjoying their golden years.

 

3. To a married cousin with children schooling: Aiyo, why he cannot get into a better school. Thia Kong his school get many gangster students.

 

4. To a married cousin with children working: Aiyo, what job, how’s salary, blah blah.

 

If you cannot win the Kay Pohs, fight them back with Kay Poh.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest 阿布埃拉

我哥哥要和他的新女友结婚,但他和他的妻子还没有离婚。他将在与家人共进晚餐时宣布婚礼。我该怎么办?我应该告诉他不要参加吗?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest 劫咪菜
On 1/18/2022 at 2:11 AM, Guest 阿布埃拉 said:

我哥哥要和他的新女友结婚,但他和他的妻子还没有离婚。他将在与家人共进晚餐时宣布婚礼。我该怎么办?我应该告诉他不要参加吗?

你也带个男友参加

Link to comment
Share on other sites

While I am grateful I do not have to deal with nosy relatives during CNY, I do know and have some of these people in my family. For a long time I have always wondered what is the purpose of their questions? Do you have a girlfriend? When are you getting married?

 

The only conclusion I can draw from such questions is that they need the time to save up for the big ang pow i am expecting from them on my wedding day. It is not so much really if I have gf or when i am getting married. The question really is where i am getting married, so that they can prepare the appropriate amount of money that is in line of the hotel. 

 

Just kindly remind them that they will know when the time is right and you expect a big ang pow from them. 

Love. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 1/18/2022 at 10:57 AM, doncoin said:

While I am grateful I do not have to deal with nosy relatives during CNY, I do know and have some of these people in my family. For a long time I have always wondered what is the purpose of their questions? Do you have a girlfriend? When are you getting married?

 

The only conclusion I can draw from such questions is that they need the time to save up for the big ang pow i am expecting from them on my wedding day. It is not so much really if I have gf or when i am getting married. The question really is where i am getting married, so that they can prepare the appropriate amount of money that is in line of the hotel. 

 

Just kindly remind them that they will know when the time is right and you expect a big ang pow from them. 

Aren't you afraid to grow old alone?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest CNY Questions

Whenever relatives asked if you are seeing anyone and if you are getting married, what they usually mean is when they can stop giving you ang pow. So the wedding is the last ang pow you ever get. So after getting married, they will ask when you will be having children to know if you are planning to start a family. If you start a family, they will need to prepare more red packets. So theoretically, the last ang pows are wedding ang pows unless they count the children's too. Since their children's ang pow is sort of the parent's ang pow also. Such is the cycle of angpows during cny

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 1/24/2022 at 4:20 PM, Guest CNY Questions said:

Whenever relatives asked if you are seeing anyone and if you are getting married, what they usually mean is when they can stop giving you ang pow. So the wedding is the last ang pow you ever get. So after getting married, they will ask when you will be having children to know if you are planning to start a family. If you start a family, they will need to prepare more red packets. So theoretically, the last ang pows are wedding ang pows unless they count the children's too. Since their children's ang pow is sort of the parent's ang pow also. Such is the cycle of angpows during cny

 

Where I am living now, such questions are totally taboo, intrusive and out of line

Everyone knows not to ask these for fear of being called out

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Peh Phak Wah
On 1/13/2022 at 4:25 PM, superflawless said:

Those busy bodies are really too much.

But since it's CNY, just smile, ignore and change subject.

If they refuse to accept that, then just leave. 

Do you think it is necessary?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 11 months later...
  • 2 weeks later...
On 1/14/2022 at 10:49 AM, Guest An eye for an eye said:

Divert the topic to something else and direct to somebody else e.g.

 

1.  To a married cousin with no children yet: Aiyo, why no kid yet. Need to let doctor check up?
 

2. To a married cousin with children: Aiyo, why stress your mother taking care of you children. They should be enjoying their golden years.

 

3. To a married cousin with children schooling: Aiyo, why he cannot get into a better school. Thia Kong his school get many gangster students.

 

4. To a married cousin with children working: Aiyo, what job, how’s salary, blah blah.

 

If you cannot win the Kay Pohs, fight them back with Kay Poh.

 

Instead of coming up with flawed reasons or pointing to others, it is better to achieve the strength to counter such talk on your own terms.

 

Best is to say that you have not found the right partner and that your parents (relatives) surely don't prefer you to rush into something that ends in disaster.

 

After the repeal of 377A I also find, that more guys in their 30s can open up to their parents.

This will just end the talk and nagging.

Why do you want to go on with the same issue every year.

3 years later they found out about your real you, then how,

but give your parents some time to come to terms.

 

Since 377A has been repealed it is time also for the Singapore society to come to terms with homosexuality.

 

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, singalion said:

 

Instead of coming up with flawed reasons or pointing to others, it is better to achieve the strength to counter such talk on your own terms.

 

Best is to say that you have not found the right partner and that your parents (relatives) surely don't prefer you to rush into something that ends in disaster.

 

After the repeal of 377A I also find, that more guys in their 30s can open up to their parents.

This will just end the talk and nagging.

Why do you want to go on with the same issue every year.

3 years later they found out about your real you, then how,

but give your parents some time to come to terms.

 

Since 377A has been repealed it is time also for the Singapore society to come to terms with homosexuality.

 

 

 

 

 

 

In east Asian's culture and values, the stigma of having gay children will not be gone simple because 377a is repealed.

鍾意就好,理佢男定女

 

never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want.

 

结缘不结

不解缘

 

After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say.

 

看穿不说穿

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, fab said:

 

In east Asian's culture and values, the stigma of having gay children will not be gone simple because 377a is repealed.

 

We are talking about Singapore...  And Singapore seems a South East Asian country.

In China this isn't any issue any longer to most parents since the decriminalisation.

 

After gay etc has been pulled through all media channels the past months. I think the last cleaning auntie at hawker centers has understood there is something like

gay! 🤣

 

To fight negative stigma of gay children you have to start somewhere.

 

If people stay in the closet in Singapore then the repeal of 377A was quite futile.

 

In every country that went through decriminalisation of homosexuals, the gays had to come out at a certain stage... 
 

At least start with your parents, then they will automatically stop dragging you on in asking to marry or when you will marry. In most cased parents who are informed are smart enough to respond to other family members who are nagging.

 

 

Edited by singalion
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Not understand why people is troubled by this except ur parents put in a will that you can Inherited their multi billion dollar asset or property without having married.. else u should live your own life.. the parents chase ask them to married themselves.. I see so many after marriage then all problem arise end up divorce and so on.. making the kids suffering when they fight for guardianship and so on.. 

 

Think 3 times before u do something.. don't just do because you plan to please your parents.. well the inheritance part might be different story.. for me.. I don't care I can inherit anything or not as I can 白手起家不靠人 so nobody can have the ability to chase me for my marriage .. it's my life not theirs at the end of the day...

Edited by Ryuki
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 1/23/2023 at 3:57 PM, Guest Vermin said:

So last night i had quarrel again with my sister as she wants me to take out from our parents will because I'm gay.

 

Could it be that your sister is greedy and wants your share of the inheritance, with you being gay a convenient excuse?

If your parents write you out of their Wills, there is not much you can do.  It just shows how (not) valued you are in your parents' eyes.

 

Anyway, back to the subject of parents urging their children to get married, if your parents know you are gay and have accepted that you are not going to marry a female to reproduce, would it be more acceptable if you introduce a man to them and tell them this is the man you are dating and planning to marry? 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 1/15/2023 at 6:24 PM, doncoin said:

 

Perhaps. but I am too set in my ways to ever want to adjust myself for another person. 

 

It is positive to cultivate our flexibility and remain adaptable to adjust ourselves  for another person.  In fact, the loss of this ability contributes to us becoming old. 

 

One way of losing inflexibility, help adaptability, is to realize how unimportant, how transient our life is.  What does it matter if it has to change somehow? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...
Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...