How does a single introvert man staying alone deal with loneliness

[Guest Lonely single introvert]

I am single and have been staying alone for the past 1 year. Was attached before but broke up due to incompatibility and right now at my middle age, I am tired of finding a relationship. Only problem is I am also an introvert and being in a social setting sometimes wear me out, and as much as I had enjoyed the single life for a bit after the breakup, now I am losing my mind over being in an empty, lonely house all by myself, with no presence to talk to, no other human activity around. Even though I have friends, they cannot be available most times due to their own personal lives. I have no more family member here.

 

I have been crying myself to sleep every night and sometimes just feel like... maybe it's better to let it all go...

 

 

[Guest Metoo]

Think you are not alone. Many others like you too. I am lucky i still have my parents. But guess someday I'll be in the same situation like you. Maybe considering renting out room or get into smaller 2 room flat with singles as neighbours. As long as your health is still good, be grateful for that.

[GachiMuchi]

On 6/14/2022 at 11:06 PM, Guest Lonely single introvert said:

I am single and have been staying alone for the past 1 year. Was attached before but broke up due to incompatibility and right now at my middle age, I am tired of finding a relationship. Only problem is I am also an introvert and being in a social setting sometimes wear me out, and as much as I had enjoyed the single life for a bit after the breakup, now I am losing my mind over being in an empty, lonely house all by myself, with no presence to talk to, no other human activity around. Even though I have friends, they cannot be available most times due to their own personal lives. I have no more family member here.

 

I have been crying myself to sleep every night and sometimes just feel like... maybe it's better to let it all go...

 

 

You know what problems you have and you put yourself in that position (being introverted) Then again, as much as I want to tell you to go out to meet people, you can't and wont'. so, you are only going to spiral into the abyss.

 

Regarding your crying yourself to sleep, I think you are suffering from mild depression. That is something no one can help you except seeking help from professionals. 

 

We cannot forced you to take up your phone and call the following help line. if you don't want to.

 

Edited June 15, 2022 by GachiMuchi

[Steve5380]

On 6/14/2022 at 10:06 AM, Guest Lonely single introvert said:

I am single and have been staying alone for the past 1 year. Was attached before but broke up due to incompatibility and right now at my middle age, I am tired of finding a relationship. Only problem is I am also an introvert and being in a social setting sometimes wear me out, and as much as I had enjoyed the single life for a bit after the breakup, now I am losing my mind over being in an empty, lonely house all by myself, with no presence to talk to, no other human activity around. Even though I have friends, they cannot be available most times due to their own personal lives. I have no more family member here.

 

I have been crying myself to sleep every night and sometimes just feel like... maybe it's better to let it all go...

 

 

I have felt like you do too,  especially after my bf passed away.   But I have found a way out.

 

We should have enough experience to know that loneliness and depression are very natural states of human beings.  It comes with being alive, having a spirit.

 

So when I started to feel this way,  something unusual for me,  I suddenly realized:  This is normal in a human like me.  I should not be suddenly afraid that there is something wrong with me.  It is not.  It is "human condition".  Since I am human, let's accept this condition, which is fair that I should also reach sooner or later.  Let's not fret over it, let's take it with calm and accept this loneliness and depression.  Let's passively yield to it for the time being, and see how long it lasts.   This thought calmed me down, and I decided to take things easy for a while, like being convalescent.   This worked!   I didn't slide deeper into negativity.    I don't remember how long my depression lasted, but one good day I was NOT depressed,  I didn't feel lonely.  Instead I was solitary like so many times in my life and busy with the interests in my life.

 

And this is how I live now:  solitary, occupied with activities that interest me, and happy.  I haven't felt lonely and depressed for years now.  I don't see them often but I keep in good contact with my family.  I have made acquaintances that I periodically see in the gym,  hopefully again in my Aikido classes,  and this is sufficient sociability for me.

 

Will I ever find a companion again?  Time will tell.  If it happens, I will pursue the relationship.

[Why?]

On 6/14/2022 at 11:06 PM, Guest Lonely single introvert said:

I am single and have been staying alone for the past 1 year. Was attached before but broke up due to incompatibility and right now at my middle age, I am tired of finding a relationship. Only problem is I am also an introvert and being in a social setting sometimes wear me out, and as much as I had enjoyed the single life for a bit after the breakup, now I am losing my mind over being in an empty, lonely house all by myself, with no presence to talk to, no other human activity around. Even though I have friends, they cannot be available most times due to their own personal lives. I have no more family member here.

 

I have been crying myself to sleep every night and sometimes just feel like... maybe it's better to let it all go...

 

 

 

Aiya!!! You are not spiritually alone just though you are physically alone. You can enroll in religion classes or participate in activities that align with your beliefs. You can volunteer for any political party with which you are affiliated. You can also try to put some stress on your well-being by undertaking some type of intense exercise till you are physically exhausted. You can also join a safe cat/dog/squirrel club or go on nature walks, with a group of people who share your interests. You can also consider joining the "Save the Items Club and distributing the edible foods to the impoverished and elderly. Singapore boasts a plethora of local groups and activities that require physical assistance, and they are ideal for introverts. There is no need for money; all that is required is your time and attention.

 

If the above conventional narrative of being busy does not appeal to you. If you have a good imagination, let's do this to yourself....

 

Consider being chased by a pack of tiger in Africa, plunging from a cliff into a 12-story-high wave, being trapped on an island full with venous snakes, and then boarding a shaky boat to get out only to be besieged by sharks in the middle of a storm.. You've been swept to a desolate island where humans are hunted for food by local tribes. You swam across the border into neighboring countries, where you were detained for illegal immigration and imprisoned with rapists, murderers, and other psychopaths. You escaped from prison and sought refuge in a forest, where you met an ex-convict willing to shield you under his cover. He was, as it turned out, abusive, forced you to eat shit, threatened to murder you for the most insignificant of actions, and setting traps to prevent you from escape. Years later, while he was very inebriated, you managed to flee in the middle of a distant forest. You heard a loud gunshot just as you were leaving the woods. He discovered that you had managed to flee. When a sport car appeared in your direction, just in time, You pleaded with the driver to let you in. He did, and you were finally free of the nightmare....

 

The sport automobile was dangerously unbalanced on the highway, nearly colliding with every passing truck and killing you. The driver was under the influence of alcohol. He eventually slammed into a thick tree, which caught fire and killed the driver instantly, while leaving you bleeding terribly. When the cops thought you were the one who broke the law, after having escaped prison, they charged you with manslaughter. You went to court and fought the law for months, but no one believed you. You were charged with life imprisonment and dragged screaming and cursing from the courtroom, but you were knocked out by a hefty hand....

 

After that, you awoke.  You’ve discovered that you're alone, in the comfort of your own bed.  You pulled up the curtain, the sun rushed in, and there were lovely gardens and birds right in front of you.  It's become a reality; you're on your own. Most significantly, you are no longer at risk from human influence. The story may seem far-fetched, but it takes place in the wall jungle, where bitches, workplace politics, and stress from human interaction can easily equal the conditions described above. My point is that if you think along those lines, you'll appreciate every single solitary time you have to yourself.

 

On that point, I'm planning another hiatus....😁

Edited June 15, 2022 by Why?

[mate69]

I like how we fellow bros and sis here help out one another and keep a watch over others like us in times of need

Coz it's the thing that makes us human

Peace out

 

[Guest Mary]

On 6/14/2022 at 11:06 PM, Guest Lonely single introvert said:

I am single and have been staying alone for the past 1 year. Was attached before but broke up due to incompatibility and right now at my middle age, I am tired of finding a relationship. Only problem is I am also an introvert and being in a social setting sometimes wear me out, and as much as I had enjoyed the single life for a bit after the breakup, now I am losing my mind over being in an empty, lonely house all by myself, with no presence to talk to, no other human activity around. Even though I have friends, they cannot be available most times due to their own personal lives. I have no more family member here.

 

I have been crying myself to sleep every night and sometimes just feel like... maybe it's better to let it all go...

 

 

So detailed.  So expressive.  So clear , and you are introvert ah ?? 

If I put things in perspective, if u like that called introvert , then an extrovert how ?? insert video , graphic and statistic ah ?? 

[BlowsNwhistles]

Maybe you might wanna adopt some life into your space? Plants, fish or what ever pets you find suitable? If you want friendship feel free to pm me..... always testing above 90% introvert in all the online tests so i think can relate a bit.

[bigdanbeam]

If you are an introvert you should already be used to loneliness. You have most energy being  around no one, right?

[Guest Educate yourselves]

All the people not helping and making uneducated comments please kindly educate yourselves.

https://www.webmd.com/balance/introvert-personality-overview#:~:text=An introvert is a person,than large groups or crowds.

 

Being an introvert does not mean that OP must be alone forever. I am an introvert myself too and I enjoy the company of 1 to 3 close friends. I do feel lonely when I am by myself too much of the time. I get nervous and VERY quiet in a large social setting and shy away from joining in group conversations but if I do manage to find a very small group whom I can relate to, I will be able to open up. I don't party, I don't purposely arrange to ask many people out together and if somebody asks me out with a large group I usually turn down the invitations.

 

Also, an introvert cannot be creative and expressive? Are you trying to say that an introvert cannot work? What goes on in your brain? I know introverts who are writers, songwriters and even business owners. They are intelligent and very capable in their work, they just do not like parties and social gatherings. Like a business owner whom I know who runs a multi-million business is afraid to attend his own company events. During D&D, he would only make a necessary appearance to make a speech and immediately leave to eat at home even if he was going to be alone at home. I know because I've organized a few D&D parties for his company before and we hit off well because we are both introverts. And before anybody says I am not an introvert because I organize events, I am the one behind the scene taking care of all operations and logistics. I do my job well and that's it, I do not mingle at parties or seek to socialize with the people at the events if there is nothing about work to talk about.

 

[Guest Mr Meh]

On 6/15/2022 at 2:21 PM, Guest Educate yourselves said:

All the people not helping and making uneducated comments please kindly educate yourselves.

Ya lah, you very smart huh!   Different folks, different strokes.  No one can decide or tell others what is right or wrong.  Just sharing thoughts, cannot meh?  What you mean by uneducated comments.  Yours very intelligent meh?  People wanted to comment also cannot meh?  The world is like jungle, you find every type of human under the tree and under the rocks.  Some thrive in darkness, others thrive under the sun. Got wrong meh?  Must follow your thoughts meh? What works for you, must work for us meh?  You think you wat. Must teach us what to do meh?  Every comment whether helpful or not, is not for you to decide one.  It is for TS to decide, liddat also cannot meh?  

[HTTYY]

-

Edited June 23, 2022 by HTTYY

[auscent]

Hai ya, despair not buddy!

 

Rule 1: do not think/ behave like a typical lazy Sporean expecting good things with little effort

 

Rule 2: create endless joy!

sports - cooking - read credible sources - software skills (I just finished remixing my 12th mega mix) - volunteer - pick up a new hobby (since covid: I have watched 50% of all Oscars Best Picture movies)... just fill the list with your own items!

[Guest ffffffff]

Saunas are good for introverts because you don't have to make small talk. Body language will do.

 

On a separate note,  there are also lots of rude toads. Like those who shove you from behind. They must be mute, cannot say "excuse me". Or even blind. Hope they trip and fall and smash teir heads.

[aedirn]

Having a pet helps.

If you are able to of course.

[Bahamut LGH]

On 6/14/2022 at 11:06 PM, Guest Lonely single introvert said:

I am single and have been staying alone for the past 1 year. Was attached before but broke up due to incompatibility and right now at my middle age, I am tired of finding a relationship. Only problem is I am also an introvert and being in a social setting sometimes wear me out, and as much as I had enjoyed the single life for a bit after the breakup, now I am losing my mind over being in an empty, lonely house all by myself, with no presence to talk to, no other human activity around. Even though I have friends, they cannot be available most times due to their own personal lives. I have no more family member here.

 

I have been crying myself to sleep every night and sometimes just feel like... maybe it's better to let it all go...

 

 

you may choose to take up some activities to fill up the empty period.

 

Such as hitting the gym to make your physical health better, or hitting fitness studio for group classes to blend into the crowd atmosphere.

 

As the borders are opening, you may even choose to travel alone to see more wider world out there which most people might not have the opportunity to do so at this moment.

 

What you really need to rectify (and came to accept it) is, why are you crying yourself to sleep.

once you find the root of the problem and rectify it, perhaps all of your worries will be settle.

 

Best of luck.

[Guest Alone very bad meh]

On 6/14/2022 at 11:06 PM, Guest Lonely single introvert said:

I am single and have been staying alone for the past 1 year. Was attached before but broke up due to incompatibility and right now at my middle age, I am tired of finding a relationship. Only problem is I am also an introvert and being in a social setting sometimes wear me out, and as much as I had enjoyed the single life for a bit after the breakup, now I am losing my mind over being in an empty, lonely house all by myself, with no presence to talk to, no other human activity around. Even though I have friends, they cannot be available most times due to their own personal lives. I have no more family member here.

 

I have been crying myself to sleep every night and sometimes just feel like... maybe it's better to let it all go...

 

 

 

Haiyoh. I am single and have been staying alone since young. Adopted but I left the adopted family when I was offered scholarship to study abroad. Its been what? 30 years now? 

 

Its normal. To be alone. What's not normal is to be in a house full of people with no peace of mind. 

[Guest Guest]

How about birthday and u are very old .Do u get a small cake or a big cake.Do u celebrate alone or with strangers.

[DiDing]

Not too sure about the full picture of things but my own experience on dealing with being alone before I actually went out to talk to people was to actually pick up on hobbies to keep me busy with things on hand and feel good when I did something right in the new hobbies. I also go on walks in the mornings at nearby parks on weekends (to catch the first rays of sun that hit the earth) and just appreciate how pretty my surroundings are instead of putting too much focus on myself. I find that one can utilise the freedom one has when being single/alone. Go to places you always wanted to go, cafes, a stroll along the bay area, a park practically anywhere, try to focus on enjoying activity instead on how one is there alone cos even with friends or even partners, sometimes we can't fully control where we really wanna go.

 

I am pretty much introverted too but I realised I am totally ok to chat online as I easier express myself through typing and found some online groups to join and chat in general so if thats your thing too you can seek out some of those groups. 

[Guest Guest]

How about age do u still want to remain at 25 or face it that u already 80.

[Why?]

I have no notion what it is to be alone, lonely, isolated, or abandoned. I know I sparked excitement the instant I went inside my house. I opened my closet, looked at my undergarments, and smiled. In my kitchen, a packet of coffee brought me joy as well.  My bedsheet cover, which included a picture of Whinney the Pooh, made me happy. Joy was sparked when a lizard dropped from the ceiling and landed on my table. When the shower and the lavender soap are combined, they bring bliss. The songs on the CD made me happy. My creativity was sparked by the painting on the wall. My mind was calmed by the artificial flowers in my vase. Pornographic films have always piqued my interest. I couldn't get enough of giving people a piece of my mind on this forum. I'm simply too busy. Everything made me happy, there's no longer room for uninteresting individual  and I didn't want anyone to bother me.  Please leave!!!😆

 

[earth_tone]

Being alone and lonely is still be better than being with many people and still lonely.

[mantin30]

I liken introvert and extrovert personality to a homosexual and heterosexual relationship. No matter how I tried to be extroverted, it just won't work and only create more traumas. Is like once I tried to convince myself I can get married to a girl, have children and live a so called normal straight life. But it just won't work cause I'm just pretending. Deep down not what I like. But I know once I'm left alone, I will also feel lonely. Different kind of lonely. 

[Steve5380]

On 6/17/2022 at 3:10 AM, Guest Guest said:

How about birthday and u are very old .Do u get a small cake or a big cake.Do u celebrate alone or with strangers.

 

It is tradition in my family to call each other on our birthday regardless of age.  So on my birthday I celebrate it alone but I get many congratulating calls and emails.  I usually tried to ignore my birthdays, but now I like them and I am proud to be one year older.  No birthday cake,  but some little treat.

 

On 6/17/2022 at 4:25 AM, Guest Guest said:

How about age do u still want to remain at 25 or face it that u already 80.

 

I would not want to be 25 again.  I'm happy to be nearly 80.   Next year on my 80th I might get a larger celebration.

[Guest ffffffff]

My circle of friends. both gay and straight started dwindling right after graduation. The usual different paths for different folks. 

 

Over the years, I stopped contacting my bitchy gay circle. It's such a relief actually. No more :"Aiyoh so and so said nasty things about you." Then you are tempted to confront the offender. And all those drama that follows.

 

I have also gotten used to going places by myself. No more calling frens to accompany me like I'm so desperate for their company.  The intricacies of getting a group together. Have to consider all their schedules, their taste and whether who can get along with whom.

 

I've been without friends for so many decades. And it's such a joy actually. To best describe this joy: I'm so happy I could scream! I don't have to account to them the way I live , whether I should be doing this or not etc. I don't have to deal wirh all the sniping, the jealousy, the in group fighting where you have to take sides.

 

I also don't have that problem of friends lending my stuff to people I don't know. I actually saved more money as there are no more gatherings to attend. Or have to buy a present for a friend of a friend, in case my friend drags me along to his friend's BD party.  

[riverrobles]

I am single like you and I am even in my forties, ambivert I guess. It does not mean when you are single, it would be lonely. This is what I do so you have an idea.

 

1. Try to reach out to a stranger either through fun, dating or helping someone (not family, not friends , not a colleague, not a neighbor)  . Sometimes it is better to talk to someone you have not met yet or known. 1 new person per week, that would realistic. Maybe go to a bar on your own, just get a drink and if someone sits beside you and chats with you, chat back. Another thing I do is to help a charity or learn a new skill or new language.

 

2. Be busy at work or your business, however do not overwork.

 

3. During the pandemic, I got to plant and have my own vegetable garden during spring and summer with my tomatoes, sweet potato and water cress. You can also try indoor plants, I try to talk to them and see the beauty they give me on a daily basis. There is thread for plants in another subforum in BW.

 

4. Review your finances, give ample time in reviewing your expenses, your budget and your investments. 

 

5. Cook, make your own meals. There is a subforum here in BW.

 

6. If you are worried about your mental health, please go to a psychologist and have yourself checked. 

 

7. Read, read, read. Read classics and autobiographies.

 

8. Go check free events esp that its like coming back to normal. Check this site , meetup.com.

[doncoin]

Get a pet to focus on. Dogs or cats provide great emotional support in many ways. 

[singalion]

How does a single introvert man staying alone deal with loneliness?

 

Answer:

By talking to himself or talking to mum over the phone... 

 

You can also make some efforts to get to know some friends...

 

 

[Steve5380]

To begin with,  we don't have to be an introvert because we are single and live alone.  

 

We can cultivate extroversion by engaging the whole human race:  feel interest, feel empathy for other people, strangers or not.  I empathize with BW members and guests I have never seen nor met personally.  We can see the whole world through the media,  through movies,  and empathize with people that are shown in the news or who act in movies.   We can read books and empathize with the protagonists.  We should follow some politics and embrace the positive ideologies and reject the negative ones.

 

Yesterday I had a visit from my son, his wife and children.  Oh... did I enjoy their visit!  In my home, usually as quiet as a museum,  there was a whirlwind of three little bodies playing, running around up and down, smiling, laughing, shouting, fooling around with Grandpa, and I had interesting conversations with the two adult visitors and also with my  grandchildren.  I was so happy when they came!  And I am so happy now that they are back home and my home is quiet and peaceful again!    Since then I have watched a program about politics, some videos on YouTube, and I'm listening an audiobook about the life of Beethoven.   All about....  people... people... people.  There does not seem to be much time left for loneliness...

[Steve5380]

I recently started a subscription to the weekly magazine "The Week",  and today I read there something that hit me up front.  I am still chuckling at its realistic humor:

 

"If you are lonely when you are alone,  then you are in bad company."  Jean-Paul Sartre

 

And another one:

 

"You can't wait until life isn't hard anymore before you decide to be happy."  Singer Nightbirdie

[Guest guest]

The last time I felt lonely (and bored) was when I was 16. After that, I felt like I had too many things on my plate in life to do and I still have two Toyogo boxes of books to read.

 

I'm hardly in Whatsapp or Telegram groups and they are all muted. People message me maybe once a year or even less often. Phone calls are only taken when it's for something like repair, plumbing, government etc. My latest conversation with an individual on Whatsapp could be as recent as six weeks ago. I only talk to people when I want to, and not when I need to.

 

Ever since I saved up to buy my 2-room flexi HDB flat using purely cash, I quit my job for a low paying one that allows me to cover my expenses. I'm literally converting my labour hours purely for cash and not selling off my mental health along with it like in the past.

 

I crash semi-public events if the activity interests me. Just be there late and leave earlier than others if I'm worried about people noticing I'm not suppose to crash such events or gatherings. I have sat at nearby tables observing the main activity going on, watching them leave with them semi noticing that I am part of their community.

 

When I need sex, I go to the sauna and participate in the orgies since some don't care about my body when they are already super horny with others.

 

Maybe the next thing for me is to plan for death. Probably do up a will and take out an advance package with the funeral parlour to cover cremation costs.

[Guest Har Introvert]

On 6/14/2022 at 11:06 PM, Guest Lonely single introvert said:

I am single and have been staying alone for the past 1 year. Was attached before but broke up due to incompatibility and right now at my middle age, I am tired of finding a relationship. Only problem is I am also an introvert and being in a social setting sometimes wear me out, and as much as I had enjoyed the single life for a bit after the breakup, now I am losing my mind over being in an empty, lonely house all by myself, with no presence to talk to, no other human activity around. Even though I have friends, they cannot be available most times due to their own personal lives. I have no more family member here.

 

I have been crying myself to sleep every night and sometimes just feel like... maybe it's better to let it all go...

 

 

Wow introvert can write until so detailsssssssssssss , then u show us when u r extrovert ??? 

 

Is like saying I am a small eater but come to food eat I eat 2 to 3 portions 

Very poor your story telling skill 

 

 

 

[Steve5380]

32 minutes ago, Guest guest said:

The last time I felt lonely (and bored) was when I was 16. After that, I felt like I had too many things on my plate in life to do and I still have two Toyogo boxes of books to read.

 

I'm hardly in Whatsapp or Telegram groups and they are all muted. People message me maybe once a year or even less often. Phone calls are only taken when it's for something like repair, plumbing, government etc. My latest conversation with an individual on Whatsapp could be as recent as six weeks ago. I only talk to people when I want to, and not when I need to.

 

Ever since I saved up to buy my 2-room flexi HDB flat using purely cash, I quit my job for a low paying one that allows me to cover my expenses. I'm literally converting my labour hours purely for cash and not selling off my mental health along with it like in the past.

 

I crash semi-public events if the activity interests me. Just be there late and leave earlier than others if I'm worried about people noticing I'm not suppose to crash such events or gatherings. I have sat at nearby tables observing the main activity going on, watching them leave with them semi noticing that I am part of their community.

 

When I need sex, I go to the sauna and participate in the orgies since some don't care about my body when they are already super horny with others.

 

Maybe the next thing for me is to plan for death. Probably do up a will and take out an advance package with the funeral parlour to cover cremation costs.

 

I think that the way you carry out your life is smart.  You put yourself as the most important item in your life,  and you are in a good situation to do so.  This situation may not be permanent,  it might happen,  and hopefully it does,  that another person steps into your life and becomes the most important one, or at least shares importance with you. This experience can be very beneficial for you.    If you have an estate to leave in a will,  then you don't need to pay for any funeral package.  You don't need to worry what happens with you after your last breath,  and your heir/s will have money to pay for your funeral, if they so desire.

[mrjuicetiger]

i would say... learn to befriend yourself. 

 

i've been single for 12-13 over years, occasionally a few dates/fbs here and there, but i keep to a close cluster of friends these days (less than 5 i would say). it's lonely but i guess getting used to being alone is a good way.

 

also, travelling alone at times helps i guess? opens up the worldview and new perspectives, and you never know who you gonna meet that way. stay strong

[LeanMature]

On 3/7/2023 at 12:52 PM, mrjuicetiger said:

i would say... learn to befriend yourself. 

 

i've been single for 12-13 over years, occasionally a few dates/fbs here and there, but i keep to a close cluster of friends these days (less than 5 i would say). it's lonely but i guess getting used to being alone is a good way.

 

also, travelling alone at times helps i guess? opens up the worldview and new perspectives, and you never know who you gonna meet that way. stay strong

 

Learn to love yourself. Cook and appreciate your own cooking, enjoy the peace and quietness of being alone.   Sooner or later, you would love being alone.

[D.0284]

there are a lot of things to do when one is alone. I love gardening, aquarium, water color painting, drawing, etc.

[DMassage]

Gym. Cycle. Bake. Read. Movie. Invite friends over for dinner. Plan a holiday etc. So many things to do. 

Edited April 20, 2023 by DMassage

[doncoin]

Have a pet. A cat or dog or fish. A pet whose existence and well-being solely is dependent on you.

[singalion]

On 6/14/2022 at 11:06 PM, Guest Lonely single introvert said:

I am single and have been staying alone for the past 1 year. Was attached before but broke up due to incompatibility and right now at my middle age, I am tired of finding a relationship. Only problem is I am also an introvert and being in a social setting sometimes wear me out, and as much as I had enjoyed the single life for a bit after the breakup, now I am losing my mind over being in an empty, lonely house all by myself, with no presence to talk to, no other human activity around. Even though I have friends, they cannot be available most times due to their own personal lives. I have no more family member here.

 

I have been crying myself to sleep every night and sometimes just feel like... maybe it's better to let it all go...

 

 

 

With all the gay apps around... just make a profile that you are looking to enlarge your circle of friends but make clear you are not looking for sex.

 

You have to overcome your shyness.

 

You might even find a friend who is not as outspoken as you are also... Try to find some common leisure spending activities...

 

 

[Guest Guest]

On 6/14/2022 at 11:06 PM, Guest Lonely single introvert said:

I am single and have been staying alone for the past 1 year. Was attached before but broke up due to incompatibility and right now at my middle age, I am tired of finding a relationship. Only problem is I am also an introvert and being in a social setting sometimes wear me out, and as much as I had enjoyed the single life for a bit after the breakup, now I am losing my mind over being in an empty, lonely house all by myself, with no presence to talk to, no other human activity around. Even though I have friends, they cannot be available most times due to their own personal lives. I have no more family member here.

 

I have been crying myself to sleep every night and sometimes just feel like... maybe it's better to let it all go...

 

I don't know.

When you have been staying with family members for years who often find fault with you, criticise you, shout at you, and only talk to you when they need your help, etc., staying alone doesn't seem like such a bad thing.

If it were me staying alone, I definitely won't be crying myself to sleep.

Will be up reading, watching tv, surfing the net, or likely pleasuring myself late into the night 😏😈

 

On a side note, usually introverts don't mind being alone. It is extroverts who can't stand being alone. You are likely an extrovert.

[Guest guest]

On 3/7/2023 at 12:52 PM, mrjuicetiger said:

i would say... learn to befriend yourself. 

 

i've been single for 12-13 over years, occasionally a few dates/fbs here and there, but i keep to a close cluster of friends these days (less than 5 i would say). it's lonely but i guess getting used to being alone is a good way.

 

also, travelling alone at times helps i guess? opens up the worldview and new perspectives, and you never know who you gonna meet that way. stay strong

I don't mind to be alone, but will it be bad for mental health in long term, since not much socialize with people?

[mrjuicetiger]

39 minutes ago, Guest guest said:

I don't mind to be alone, but will it be bad for mental health in long term, since not much socialize with people?

Possibly. Might breed a fear of strangers too. Maybe surround yourself with good colleagues i guess. And a close few friends, family members

[Guest Fatty]

Get paid company 

[Steve5380]

18 hours ago, Guest Fatty said:

Get paid company 

 

Not a good idea.  If you are desperate and don't mind spending money,  go and get good counseling.   Like Oogachaga or other social services?  And here there are two alternatives:   

1-  Is it temporary?   If so, tolerate and learn to live with it until the situation changes.

2- You feel that it is your nature?  Then DO SOMETHING about it.   Like following the many advices given in this thread.  But don't get resigned to "the inevitably of destiny that made me like this".   We don't know why we are the way we are.  The way to know is to try hard to change until we succeed.  When some reasons we are an introvert are overcome, then we may discover that we can be extroverted too.  

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201604/can-introvert-ever-change

 

 

On 4/21/2023 at 9:20 AM, Guest guest said:

I don't mind to be alone, but will it be bad for mental health in long term, since not much socialize with people?

 

To frequently feel loneliness is not good for mental health, and may extend to bad physical health.   But here the culprit is "feelings of loneliness".  

 

If you live alone, spend much time solitary, this by itself does not need to produce feelings of loneliness.  Remember...  we should be our best friend!

 

We should also realize that our conversations on BW are a break from solitude,  and nothing to be ashamed of if we do it in lieu of conversing with a person who is present. Also when we are alone we may develop the habit of speaking loud to ourselves.  There is nothing bad with this.   We just need to remember not to do it when we are with other people, although... although today it is so common to see crazy people who "talk to themselves" who in reality are speaking through their cellphones. 

 

If we practice good "mental hygiene" we can stay in good mental health no matter how solitary we are.  After all, people who are surrounded by friends, family and other company don't they may develop mental problems as bad as they can be?  We often read that a father with wife and children gets desperate, gets drunk and takes a gun and kills his whole family!  

.

Edited April 22, 2023 by Steve5380

[Leanmeat]

People who are single need to find hobby to occupy themselves. Be it indoor or outdoor. I am not living alone but have been spending most wkend going out alone. I dont even jio ppl nowadays. Once you are used to the life style the feeling of loneliness will fade away. Learn to enjoy doing things alone. It comes naturally for me as I dont like to change my preference of places for people and I dont like noisy big groups. 

[Guest Guest]

2 hours ago, Leanmeat said:

People who are single need to find hobby to occupy themselves. Be it indoor or outdoor. I am not living alone but have been spending most wkend going out alone. I dont even jio ppl nowadays. Once you are used to the life style the feeling of loneliness will fade away. Learn to enjoy doing things alone. It comes naturally for me as I dont like to change my preference of places for people and I dont like noisy big groups. 

 

I am like that also - very used to going out and doing things alone.

So much so that when I am forced to eat or go shopping with people, I will get very irritated and frustrated.

 

E.g.

1) That one colleague who talks non-stop throughout your meal, and you are forced to periodically acknowledge her, otherwise it will seem rude;

2) You cannot get up and leave after you have finished eating, because you are forced to wait for every single person in the group to finish eating and drinking. You are bored out of your skull, but you cannot appear annoyed, out of politeness;

3) Colleagues commenting non-stop on what you eat and drink;

4) During shopping, you can't linger at what you want to see if the group wants to walk on;

5) You are forced to look at what other people are looking at, eg women's shoes, blouses, etc.

 

This is why I don't like going out with people. I only make an exception for one or two close friends at the most; no big groups, especially if said group comprises of a lot of girls.

[Leanmeat]

51 minutes ago, Guest Guest said:

 

I am like that also - very used to going out and doing things alone.

So much so that when I am forced to eat or go shopping with people, I will get very irritated and frustrated.

 

E.g.

1) That one colleague who talks non-stop throughout your meal, and you are forced to periodically acknowledge her, otherwise it will seem rude;

2) You cannot get up and leave after you have finished eating, because you are forced to wait for every single person in the group to finish eating and drinking. You are bored out of your skull, but you cannot appear annoyed, out of politeness;

3) Colleagues commenting non-stop on what you eat and drink;

4) During shopping, you can't linger at what you want to see if the group wants to walk on;

5) You are forced to look at what other people are looking at, eg women's shoes, blouses, etc.

 

This is why I don't like going out with people. I only make an exception for one or two close friends at the most; no big groups, especially if said group comprises of a lot of girls.

And when you just want to have simple aftn tea break and yr friends prefer starbucks or coffee bean which is not what you want. Or eat and eat when you prefer to walk. Now I dont even want to confirm earlier w them if I am joining. Because I dont wanna be force to eat at a place I dont like. 

[DMassage]

Keep yourself busy. Love yourself more. You will have no time to feel lonely. 

[Hayden_la]

7 minutes ago, DMassage said:

Keep yourself busy. Love yourself more. You will have no time to feel lonely. 

Strongly agreed.

[AlifBttm]

On 6/14/2022 at 11:06 PM, Guest Lonely single introvert said:

I am single and have been staying alone for the past 1 year. Was attached before but broke up due to incompatibility and right now at my middle age, I am tired of finding a relationship. Only problem is I am also an introvert and being in a social setting sometimes wear me out, and as much as I had enjoyed the single life for a bit after the breakup, now I am losing my mind over being in an empty, lonely house all by myself, with no presence to talk to, no other human activity around. Even though I have friends, they cannot be available most times due to their own personal lives. I have no more family member here.

 

I have been crying myself to sleep every night and sometimes just feel like... maybe it's better to let it all go...

 

 

Just do what u like to do. Make urself happy. U can always chat with me if u are down. Im here. Peace