Have you ever get tired of meeting new people

[Guest TiredTired]

Recently turned single and started to go out on a date knowing new people

 

but each time it ends up disappointment, after meet up always get cold shoulder so end up unable to take things further. 
 

now I just feel sian of meeting new people because I know history will repeat again 

[Guest ffffffffl]

Many people have unrealistic expectations. They expect to meet a person of porn star ⭐ quality on a first date.

[Guest TiredTired]

On 7/7/2022 at 8:16 PM, Guest ffffffffl said:

Many people have unrealistic expectations. They expect to meet a person of porn star ⭐ quality on a first date.

Precisely……  one guy rejected me reason being is we don’t really click. I’m like first meet and he expect instant click meh?

[doncoin]

You have to kiss many frogs before one turns into a prince. Also don't be in a relationship for the sake of being in one. Sometimes, it is better to have a casual friendship (with benefits optional), and see how things progress. Focus on yourself first and be the best version of you. 

[robin]

Because I am also very tired of meeting people, I decide a date within the first 10-15 mins of meeting.
 

Once I arranged 3 dates within an hour duration to do speed screening 🤣

[hotwinter]

so did it work? Speed screening only works for its specific purpose. For example, looking for a bed mate for the evening.  Look for a friend and dont expect to find one, then you wouldnt be disappointed.

[BudakFit]

I don't think Singapore have the ones who believe in monagamous....Singapore guys just wanna have fun sex and NEXT! 

 

For me the ONE is out there but not IN Singapore! While waiting or searching just hunt grab and play in Singapore....

 

And never assume or expect dates to follow up...coz majority of those in Singapore don't intiate....

 

For me...my dates is more like hiking....coffee...jog run jacuzzi steamroom..bar....foodmakancafe  movie and beach ...and going to hosting meaning I pay for attractions places...one way to know if this person is worthy or baggage trying to play along haha...

 

 

[robin]

On 7/7/2022 at 11:18 PM, hotwinter said:

so did it work? Speed screening only works for its specific purpose. For example, looking for a bed mate for the evening.  Look for a friend and dont expect to find one, then you wouldnt be disappointed.

I met my ex & we chatted from 10pm till the next day 8am, the relationship lasted 3.5 years. My current one.. still counting.. Within the first 10 mins & I can decide if I want to pursue further. And after the 1st meeting, I will decide if I want to verbalize & ask the person to be my date.

 

because I am a very lazy person, I would want to use the shortest time to decide if it is worth my time & effort 

Many times, one look I know I can’t accept the person as my partner. All it takes is one second 

Edited July 7, 2022 by robin

[singalion]

On 7/7/2022 at 8:16 PM, Guest ffffffffl said:

Many people have unrealistic expectations. They expect to meet a person of porn star ⭐ quality on a first date.

 

Can we add:

 

Many local people/ Most local people have unrealistic expectations.  They expect to meet a person of porn star ⭐ quality on a first date.

Not really sure it is porn star quality but more unrealistic perceptions that everyone is a beau, with a big tool (above 6.5"), muscular gym bod, right height and weight

and a sex bomb ( I might have missed something out).

 

 

[singalion]

On 7/7/2022 at 11:35 PM, BudakFit said:

I don't think Singapore have the ones who believe in monagamous....Singapore guys just wanna have fun sex and NEXT! 

 

For me the ONE is out there but not IN Singapore! While waiting or searching just hunt grab and play in Singapore....

 

And never assume or expect dates to follow up...coz majority of those in Singapore don't intiate....

 

For me...my dates is more like hiking....coffee...jog run jacuzzi steamroom..bar....foodmakancafe  movie and beach ...and going to hosting meaning I pay for attractions places...one way to know if this person is worthy or baggage trying to play along haha...

 

 

 

Don't be so negative please.

 

There are many monogamous couples in Singapore.

 

I think it is just the environment and social background that speaks against being a couple in Singapore, so many don't get into a relationship.

May it be that you don't live on your own, or you fear the backlash living with a guy (I mean the rumours from neighbours, work colleagues etc etc...

The society in Singapore is still to hostile for fostering monogamous gay relationships.

 

While I personally believe not all so called monogamous couples are really that "monogamous", but at least plenty give it a try.

E.g. are you still monogamous if you invite a third person for a threesome?

 

I m just realistic, in any relationship there might be hanky panky, so I never set my expectation to being in a monogamous relationship.

 

 

 

 

[singalion]

On 7/7/2022 at 11:35 PM, BudakFit said:

And never assume or expect dates to follow up...coz majority of those in Singapore don't intiate....

For me...my dates is more like hiking....coffee...jog run jacuzzi steamroom..bar....foodmakancafe  movie and beach ...and going to hosting meaning I pay for attractions places...one way to know if this person is worthy or baggage trying to play along haha...

 

Actually even on gay dating apps here in Singapore there are lots of guys who seek social interaction.

 

Maybe, getting into bed is the wrong start for finding a gay friend for non sexual activities?

 

Eventually, you should look at it from that angle...

 

 

[singalion]

On 7/7/2022 at 11:51 PM, robin said:

I met my ex & we chatted from 10pm till the next day 8am, the relationship lasted 3.5 years. My current one.. still counting.. Within the first 10 mins & I can decide if I want to pursue further. And after the 1st meeting, I will decide if I want to verbalize & ask the person to be my date.

 

because I am a very lazy person, I would want to use the shortest time to decide if it is worth my time & effort 

Many times, one look I know I can’t accept the person as my partner. All it takes is one second 

 

Please apologise for my open words, but I find your approach very immature.

 

You would never know the personal situation of the guy coming to a date.

 

Guys might have work stress or stress with parents, relatives, siblings etc., ran out of time to prepare, his hairdresser was on leave, the washing machine broke down.

 

There is a saying: "it was the wrong moment".

 

I would never just look into 15 minutes. This is ridiculous to judge a person on such a short time, unless you just look for very superficial things in the other person.

 

I would not recommend any guy here to follow suit on above dating scheme.

 

Give a guy some time to consider.

 

Sure, we might not be attracted and realise early but as said above, there are situation which come just like what we call "Murphy's law".

"Shit happens when you least expect it..." or so... haha.

Some guys are shy, but open up later on.

 

I also find those guys who block others instantly on apps and don't give a second chance ridiculous!

 

You could have missed your future bf...

 

 

 

 

 

Edited July 7, 2022 by singalion

[Steve5380]

On 7/7/2022 at 6:37 AM, Guest TiredTired said:

Recently turned single and started to go out on a date knowing new people

 

but each time it ends up disappointment, after meet up always get cold shoulder so end up unable to take things further. 
 

now I just feel sian of meeting new people because I know history will repeat again 

 

Don't put too much into each intent of acquaintance,  and keep them coming. 

 

You know the expected replays during job hunting:   No, no, no, no, no, no, no, .... no, no, no, no, ... no, no, yes.

[Guest Old People]

On 7/7/2022 at 7:37 PM, Guest TiredTired said:

Recently turned single and started to go out on a date knowing new people

 

but each time it ends up disappointment, after meet up always get cold shoulder so end up unable to take things further. 
 

now I just feel sian of meeting new people because I know history will repeat again 

Since meeting new people get tired, you may consider meeting old people?

[robin]

I don’t think there is any fixed formulae in finding a partner. In my earlier post, I am not encouraging anyone to follow my strategy, I am just sharing my experience based on my tiredness of meeting people. When I rule out the possibility of a potential partner, basically, I am saying, don’t waste my time & I also don’t want to waste yours. 
 

End of the day, anything can happen. I think it all boils down to fate. 
 

And with regards to monogamous relationship, I find this to be one of the biggest misconception in our circle; monogamous relationship is a journey, not a destination. How do we define a monogamous relationship? Next 20 years won’t have sex with 3rd party? No one knows. If a couple who has been together for 20 years had been monogamous except one time of breaking it, is the relationship still considered as monogamous? 

 

[Guest ffffffff]

On 7/7/2022 at 8:31 PM, Guest TiredTired said:

Precisely……  one guy rejected me reason being is we don’t really click. I’m like first meet and he expect instant click meh?

Excuse. At least they didn't say they have to attend relative's funeral.😱

[Guest ffffffff]

On 7/8/2022 at 12:00 AM, singalion said:

 

Can we add:

 

Many local people/ Most local people have unrealistic expectations.  They expect to meet a person of porn star ⭐ quality on a first date.

Not really sure it is porn star quality but more unrealistic perceptions that everyone is a beau, with a big tool (above 6.5"), muscular gym bod, right height and weight

and a sex bomb ( I might have missed something out).

 

 

This is so rich isn't it? Coming from someone who is so against locals criticisiing foreigners. 

 

You mean Malaysians aren't unrealistic?

[Guest Tired]

Yes 

 

Also tired of meeting new colleagues who quit after 1 month. 

 

Tired of people 

[singalion]

On 7/8/2022 at 8:07 AM, Guest ffffffff said:

This is so rich isn't it? Coming from someone who is so against locals criticisiing foreigners. 

 

You mean Malaysians aren't unrealistic?

 

a) Was this criticism at all or statement of facts/ summary of experience. 

If you look into different threads on similar topic you would find exact statements made by locals on locals! They come up with similar points on locals. 

 

 

b)

I m never against fair criticism, whether it is a foreigner or a local. Remember the French CEO guy who verbally attacked a local boy and punched him in an elevator. Surely, this was inappropriate.  Look up the thread, you will see that I critised him. 

 

c) What has my post to do with Malaysians?

 

d) What I m against and what I critic, is this silly xenophobe fingerpointing at foreigners at every corner here. Some people here are obsessed with anything on foreigners and ethnic background.  If Straits Times publishes an article about a male person who committed a crime, first thing people will write here, "must be a foreigner" when they don't even know, if or not he is local or foreign. Second, also Singaporeans also commit crimes overseas, so what's the reason to  stress on the attribute of someone being a foreigner, when a crime is reported. Fact is people commit crimes everywhere in their own country and overseas... 

 

 

 

[Why?]

I won't feel tired meeting new people, but the wrong people.  Just like you go interview, you are not afraid of being rejected but accepted into a wrong company regularly. 

[Guest TiredTired]

On 7/7/2022 at 11:35 PM, BudakFit said:

I don't think Singapore have the ones who believe in monagamous....Singapore guys just wanna have fun sex and NEXT! 

 

For me the ONE is out there but not IN Singapore! While waiting or searching just hunt grab and play in Singapore....

 

And never assume or expect dates to follow up...coz majority of those in Singapore don't intiate....

 

For me...my dates is more like hiking....coffee...jog run jacuzzi steamroom..bar....foodmakancafe  movie and beach ...and going to hosting meaning I pay for attractions places...one way to know if this person is worthy or baggage trying to play along haha...

 

 

So true. There's one guy i arrange a follow up date.

 i ask him friday can? he say cannot, sat also cannot then sunday tbc.. 

then i am like... forget it.. no point wasting my time

 

it's like if someone is interested he will def make an effort 

[Greenliv]

On 7/8/2022 at 2:51 PM, Why? said:

I won't feel tired meeting new people, but the wrong people.  Just like you go interview, you are not afraid of being rejected but accepted into a wrong company regularly. 

I'm thinking...how would you know it's the wrong people if you have not at least met, communicated nor interacted with them for a few times, or over a period albeit a short duration. I met a new guy, initially still ok, but after sometimes, we seemed to be on different wavelengths, and then I knew it's the wrong guy.

[Greenliv]

On 7/8/2022 at 5:52 PM, Guest TiredTired said:

So true. There's one guy i arrange a follow up date.

 i ask him friday can? he say cannot, sat also cannot then sunday tbc.. 

then i am like... forget it.. no point wasting my time

 

it's like if someone is interested he will def make an effort 

Yes and no. It could be just that this weekend, he has some preplanned events already. On the other hand, he could have counter-offered of next month or another weekday. But then, maybe he has no experience or unaware of making counter offers.

 

You can always try again to suggest probable dates.

[Why?]

On 7/8/2022 at 5:53 PM, Greenliv said:

I'm thinking...how would you know it's the wrong people if you have not at least met, communicated nor interacted with them for a few times,

I did. Which is why I clarify that always met the wrong one (after having at least communicated, interacted, and sexed a few times).   Will continue to meet the new one until it got  right.  Otherwise, very tired meeting wrong one. 

Edited July 8, 2022 by Why?

[Greenliv]

On 7/8/2022 at 7:04 PM, Why? said:

I did. Which is why I clarify that always met the wrong one (after having at least communicated, interacted, and sexed a few times).   Will continue to meet the new one until it got  right.  Otherwise, very tired meeting wrong one. 

My priority to ensuring he is the right guy... No 1. The sex must be good first. Then meet again for 2nd time. No 2. The sex must have a bit of variance (not the usual, but not too extreme). No 3. The conversation after sex must flow.

[Why?]

On 7/8/2022 at 7:45 PM, Greenliv said:

 No 1. The sex must be good.  No 2. The sex must have a bit of variance. No 3. sex must flow.

Getting to know a culinary chef is a fantastic place to start.

[Greenliv]

On 7/8/2022 at 9:01 PM, Why? said:

Getting to know a culinary chef is a fantastic place to start.

Again, why do I always have an image of you as a jolly, witty, plumb guy?

[Guest ffffffff]

On 7/8/2022 at 2:33 PM, singalion said:

 

a) Was this criticism at all or statement of facts/ summary of experience. 

If you look into different threads on similar topic you would find exact statements made by locals on locals! They come up with similar points on locals. 

 

 

b)

I m never against fair criticism, whether it is a foreigner or a local. Remember the French CEO guy who verbally attacked a local boy and punched him in an elevator. Surely, this was inappropriate.  Look up the thread, you will see that I critised him. 

 

c) What has my post to do with Malaysians?

 

d) What I m against and what I critic, is this silly xenophobe fingerpointing at foreigners at every corner here. Some people here are obsessed with anything on foreigners and ethnic background.  If Straits Times publishes an article about a male person who committed a crime, first thing people will write here, "must be a foreigner" when they don't even know, if or not he is local or foreign. Second, also Singaporeans also commit crimes overseas, so what's the reason to  stress on the attribute of someone being a foreigner, when a crime is reported. Fact is people commit crimes everywhere in their own country and overseas... 

 

 

 

Too many malaysians here. It seems they can't get good jobs back home and so they all come here.

 

So nothing the Malaysian Chinese can do to change their situation back home?

 

Even doctors at snef àre Malaysians.

 

They've always envied sporeans . Then and now they can come here easily live work and study.

 

Not that I want to tar All with the same brush 

 

There's a limit on locals tolerance for foreign competition.

 

Recall the 90s when Pauline Hanson said Australia were swamped by Asians? Similar reaction to foreigners.

 

[Guest ffffffff]

On 7/8/2022 at 2:33 PM, singalion said:

 

a) Was this criticism at all or statement of facts/ summary of experience. 

If you look into different threads on similar topic you would find exact statements made by locals on locals! They come up with similar points on locals. 

 

 

b)

I m never against fair criticism, whether it is a foreigner or a local. Remember the French CEO guy who verbally attacked a local boy and punched him in an elevator. Surely, this was inappropriate.  Look up the thread, you will see that I critised him. 

 

c) What has my post to do with Malaysians?

 

d) What I m against and what I critic, is this silly xenophobe fingerpointing at foreigners at every corner here. Some people here are obsessed with anything on foreigners and ethnic background.  If Straits Times publishes an article about a male person who committed a crime, first thing people will write here, "must be a foreigner" when they don't even know, if or not he is local or foreign. Second, also Singaporeans also commit crimes overseas, so what's the reason to  stress on the attribute of someone being a foreigner, when a crime is reported. Fact is people commit crimes everywhere in their own country and overseas... 

 

 

 

Forgot to add.

 

The foreigners that come here help our dear govt thumb down locals. Do that in ANY country and of course the locals will hate you right?

 

Not that I am saying all foreigners are like that. I meet kind, considerate and well behaved foreigners respectful to their host residents. 👍

[BudakFit]

Nevertheless, race also play a part but turned down nicely or giving an excuse that is so lame yet obvious. 

 

I am just sick and tired lah..that is why grab play release is best way to enjoy...no drama shit. 

 

I do have some Mature that so into me most are btm and I am really not into them at all...our wavelength is not there...and also my past experiences from catfish to embarrassed people  in public places since they don't get what they want...so they drama..not cool at all...

 

I rather date below 40s or younger coz their raging hormones... inexperienced....cuteness..blurness..go with they flow...turn me.on..really interest me to know them further...deserved my massage or more or anything haha was even get pay just to escort a few incentive welcome haha 

[yoyo74]

I never get tired of meeting new people as every new met up is a new opportunity even if there is disappointment in some. I wanna be surrounded by as many worthy gay friends as possible. Life will be so much happier and easier when you have such an abundance of friends

[fab]

I get more tired of samsara.

[leantonedboy]

I think we forget that everything takes time. I still believe that before you even want to take it further, get to know each other, experience the good & bad. Because at the end of the day, if you know that person is genuine & wants to be with you, he will always be there. I’m still very traditional in that sense. 
 

It all boils down to feelings. You will know and sense if that person is into you. Hence that is why, in the first place, tell the person your intention. Because, what happened to me - we met thru the app w/o having any attention to be regulars. We just wanted to meet for fun and that’s it. But after that fun, we had a small talk & in that moment we instantly clicked and both of us felt it. The convo even continue in text when we msg each other after the session. And one led to another and till today we are still very good friends. 

 

Things will happen unexpectedly. That’s why I think we need to take things naturally. I have met guys before this and I can tell they are forcing things so hard that I get very turn off because it is not very attractive. It may get tiring at times, but i think if we play it smart, it is not as tiring as it seems

[Guest gUest]

On 7/7/2022 at 8:31 PM, Guest TiredTired said:

Precisely……  one guy rejected me reason being is we don’t really click. I’m like first meet and he expect instant click meh?

That guy expect love at first sight, or have chemistry between the two of you. Even as friends only also must have that instant chemistry on the first meetup. This is the reality in gay community.

[repressednerd]

I'm tired of meeting people whose intention is to date you during the first meet up.

[LanShiangTa]

On 7/12/2022 at 8:52 PM, Guest gUest said:

That guy expect love at first sight, or have chemistry between the two of you. Even as friends only also must have that instant chemistry on the first meetup. This is the reality in gay community.

 

That's the reality elsewhere too. First impressions count they say.

 

The unfortunate side effect is that it makes us all just a tad shallower than ever