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have you ever been in a situation where a text or video chat was going well but when you are asked and (stupidly) reveal your age, you get ghosted or kicked out of the chat? i never understood why especially for video chat when it was obviously ok right before that moment.

Edited by radiusulnar
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There r full of insecured stupid judgemental people, hiding behind their own inferiority, so dun you feel upset cos of their small mindedness. 

It's totally their loss. Really. 

And thank your lucky stars u didn't have to waste more time to find out the ugliness about them. 

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How old are you? I'll take you any day 😚

 

That's why I always state my age (range) and main stats clearly, whether using apps or in forums. I also state my preferences clearly too; everyone has preferences, no point calling others racist, ageist, ableist, transphobe, sexist(!), fat shaming etc ... but of cos common manners and courtesy apply; I have idiots saying ewwwwww to my face 🤬 I get pissed, sure, but moved on quickly.

Edited by StockBottom
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Guest Whywhy

It matters if that someone prefers younger.

 

Imagine he thought he is looking at a body of a 20s and fantasizing about meeting up with you after the video call.

 

All of a sudden, you told him you are an uncle. That's an instant turn off and he loses his erection. In his mind, he is thinking what a bloody waste of time and you get blocked.

 

Although he don't mean to be rude, he can't change because that's his sexual preference and it's all mental.

 

All guys, including gays are very pragmatic

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On 7/11/2022 at 12:34 PM, StockBottom said:

everyone has preferences, no point calling others racist, ageist, ableist, transphobe, sexist(!), fat shaming etc ... but of cos common manners and courtesy apply

 

On 7/11/2022 at 12:29 PM, Saggiboy said:

so dun you feel upset cos of their small mindedness. 

 

i won't say i am upset, just puzzled that a easy going chat session ends abruptly because of age.

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On 7/11/2022 at 12:24 PM, radiusulnar said:

have you ever been in a situation where a text or video chat was going well but when you are asked and (stupidly) reveal your age, you get ghosted or kicked out of the chat? i never understood why especially for video chat when it was obviously ok right before that moment.

Next time, display your cock just before disclosing your age. It lessens the blow of rejection and probably results in acceptance.

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On 7/11/2022 at 3:29 PM, abc_sg said:

Sometimes just need to accept it. You’re not his type, whether it is about look or age, that’s all. Similarly, some only like chn/mly/ind or local. If they don’t like it, they don’t like it. 

If you have humongous cock, it could be a real game changer regardless of age, or look.   Homosexual individuals are not gay if they dislike cock.

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On 7/11/2022 at 3:37 PM, Why? said:

If you have humongous cock, it could be a real game changer regardless of age, or look.   Homosexual individuals are not gay if they dislike cock.

Haha. You don’t know others’ taste nowadays. Not every one having the same taste tho

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Next time if they asked ur age, ask them to tell you first what they r looking for, even if they r OK with ur look and video chat. 

If they say age is impt to them, and if u didn't meet their preference, then no need to tell them ur age, and be the first one to say goodbye to them. 

Be the first to reject them, then let them wondered what they r missing. Lol

 

Another way is tell them ur age based on their preference. Then after fun, if not what u like, tell them ur real age. 

This could either gave them a shock how their preference for age is so wrong, or they might learn next time not to be too judgemental about age when they actually had fun even if it is not their preferred age. 

 

Clever right? Try it. You will feel much better imparting great experience to these pple. Lol

Edited by Saggiboy
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On 7/11/2022 at 4:58 PM, StockBottom said:

I rarely pick up guys online, too many questions, pics, stats, preferences, requirements, catfish, photoshop, imagination, ...

 

I much prefer face to face cruising (public, saunas), WYSIWYG, even then one need to be clear on top/btm.

Even in face to face situations, there will be those who r age prejudice. See you, interested, but then age becomes a deal breaker. So, my methods above still can be applied. 

Hahaha

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On 7/11/2022 at 12:24 PM, radiusulnar said:

have you ever been in a situation where a text or video chat was going well but when you are asked and (stupidly) reveal your age, you get ghosted or kicked out of the chat? i never understood why especially for video chat when it was obviously ok right before that moment.

 

It's not stupid to reveal your age. It's only stupid if you let that bother you.

 

Just move on to the next person who is not bothered by your age.

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One can't stop others from being ageist.

 

One can choose not to be butthurt by others easily. 

鍾意就好,理佢男定女

 

never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want.

 

结缘不结

不解缘

 

After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say.

 

看穿不说穿

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Guest Guest
On 7/11/2022 at 10:05 PM, fab said:

One can't stop others from being ageist.

 

One can choose not to be butthurt by others easily. 

Great advice for our Tyler nipples, getting butthurt by everyone who offends her 

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Guest 40 but look 25
On 7/11/2022 at 4:33 PM, Saggiboy said:

Another way is tell them ur age based on their preference. Then after fun, if not what u like, tell them ur real age. 

This could either gave them a shock how their preference for age is so wrong, or they might learn next time not to be too judgemental about age when they actually had fun even if it is not their preferred age. 

 

Clever right? Try it. You will feel much better imparting great experience to these pple. Lol

I have to feel guilty on this one. Haha

I am 40 this year but I doesn't look 40 and had sex twice with this guy who thought that I am younger than him. I'm btm and he's top. He doesn't like any guys above the age of 35. We didn't ask each other age, well he did ask mine once but I brush it off with another topic.

And one thing he frequent gay sauna and I want to try going in too. I did during my younger days like twice and thats it but he didn't know that. He advice me not to go citing reasons about all the guys will grab you and stuff like that haha. And he said that he will know that guy is old or not through touching their skin in dark room of the sauna. 

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On 7/11/2022 at 12:24 PM, radiusulnar said:

have you ever been in a situation where a text or video chat was going well but when you are asked and (stupidly) reveal your age, you get ghosted or kicked out of the chat? i never understood why especially for video chat when it was obviously ok right before that moment.


the real issue is not why most reject mature guys. 
 

the real issue is the rude behaviour or lack of decency.

 

in real life, you don’t talk to a person and upon knowing their age, walk away suddenly.

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Let me offer you a social perspective to your ageism thread.

 

Singapore is one of the most conformist society you can find in the world. It all begins with our education system which serves to churn out workers like a factory conveyor belt. So you have one of the most docile people on this planet.

 

In a primary school, only about 0.01% of the students dare to approach their teachers to have a conversation. That percentage may improve when they go to secondary or JC but not by much.

 

So this fear of talking to someone much older, someone in their authority or someone who is their superiority carries with them for most people. Many people don’t outgrow it until many years later. 
 

Quit thinking that just because you look younger than your age, you will be able to change mindsets. If you can easily do so, you would have been invited to stand for elections already. 

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Not surprising if most AJs are more sexually attracted to younger guys, even older AJs. People past 40 are

considered unattractive, with the rare exception of those with good genetics and a hard-earned gym bod.

We are most likely going to live to our 80s and 90s. We need to form social groups that is not based

on sexual attraction. But it's really not easy to find groups of people that can connect well. 

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I dont think its just Singapore, the gay community in general is prone to ageism. It starts when you are on the wrong side of 35. I am turning 50 next year and I dont have expectations and also completely transparent when it comes to my age. Rejection is part of life, some people like and accept you for whom you are and some don't. Embrace your age, embrace your old body, keep healthy, life in moderation is the key. Enjoy your work, enjoy what life has to offer. Been an uncle for so long, am pleasantly surpried people still find me attractive but it doesn't go to my head. Male attention doesn't sit on a list of my paramount objectives in life.

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I don't think is about age is all about chemistry and if the mature guy able to hold himself as groom himself to looked very most I don't think having problem meeting people. I guess some young ones less appealing compare to the mature ones as the way bring himself in public such as the way way dress. Is not that you have dress to kill at least decently presentable fresh looking clean cut. Some mature looked younger than their ages and some of younger ones looks much older than their age the way they dress.

Edited by fetish69
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Ageism and other forms of discrimination are quite common in our superficial society and even more so in our PLU community. I once chatted with an obese btm in his late 20s who was looking for fun with slim & lean types. However, he said that he would not, under any circumstance, have fun with anyone 35 and above. The irony of it is, he kept pestering me for a meet up based on how I look in my photos. When pressed, he couldn’t explain why he had such a biased opinion of older men. He even lamented how many would not want to meet him based on his size and looks.

 

He assumed that I was about his age based on how I look. 

 

Note: I didn’t tell him i was already pushing 40. 

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On 7/11/2022 at 12:24 PM, radiusulnar said:

have you ever been in a situation where a text or video chat was going well but when you are asked and (stupidly) reveal your age, you get ghosted or kicked out of the chat? i never understood why especially for video chat when it was obviously ok right before that moment.

 

Not sure what apps you are using...

 

but maybe it is recommended to put up an age into the apps. Then you can avoid any such situations...

 

Lately, on the apps you find more and more people keeping their profiles empty with anything, maybe having just a nick name.

I don't find this an advantage. actually I fail to understand the purpose... It just wastes more time to get to the point.

 

When I was in my 20s, I did not date anyone 3 years older than my age. I just wanted to date guys around my age. (not so strict nowadays but...)

 

While I find this general attitude of ghosting or blocking people silly and inappropriate - what is the point to tell someone, "hey sorry, you are out of my personal age limit" or giving another reason... - however I may understand a bit for those with strict age limits. While I would still advice them to just reply. Nobody will punch your face through a chat or video chat... ha ha, if you already chat, have the courtesy to reply, it shows your level of maturity to have learned how to express rejection.

 

Also I am not sure what  you did during the video chat, but I noted more and more younger guys here ask to see nudes during a VC. I don't entertain these people, they are the same to me as these dick pic collectors on the apps. They are not interested in you but only in your nudes or nude pics...

 

I personally would advice people to put all the essentials into the apps. Yes, some say , some never read the particulars, but during the chat you can still ask them to look it up. And it serves as a good filter if you run through profiles.

 

 

Don't fret about such incidents, radiusulnar, in 99.9% it was probably better not to have met such people who easily ghost, block or end a chat...

He might have been hot, your tool might have had already pre-cum, but it is better to meet these people who are interested in you and don't have any

reservations...

Which means, you might have avoided an awkward situation or something even more frustrating...

 

 

Edited by singalion
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On 7/11/2022 at 12:51 PM, Guest Whywhy said:

All guys, including gays are very pragmatic

 

Are you sure?

 

Having certain attractions has nothing to do with pragmatic.

 

When I look at the questionnaires running through on dating apps by some guys and 70% totally off topic, I m not sure whether this is pragmatic...

 

 

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On 7/11/2022 at 12:34 PM, StockBottom said:

How old are you? I'll take you any day 😚

 

That's why I always state my age (range) and main stats clearly, whether using apps or in forums. I also state my preferences clearly too; everyone has preferences, no point calling others racist, ageist, ableist, transphobe, sexist(!), fat shaming etc ... but of cos common manners and courtesy apply; I have idiots saying ewwwwww to my face 🤬 I get pissed, sure, but moved on quickly.

 

Like you do here as "Into fit Chinese tops of all ages"  is ok.

But I find this "No (this race)" (Example "No Eskimos") or "Only Eskimos"  that you often find in Singapore very rude and racist.

 

As you do in your profile at BW, you can express your attractions positively and even what turns you off.

 

We all understand that some guys just prefer their own ethnic or are only getting turned on by that.

We also understand when someone prefers rimmers, bondage or tatooed guys.

It is just that negative way of expressing a disliking on your profile that may sound rude.

 

 

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On 7/11/2022 at 4:33 PM, Saggiboy said:

Next time if they asked ur age, ask them to tell you first what they r looking for, even if they r OK with ur look and video chat. 

If they say age is impt to them, and if u didn't meet their preference, then no need to tell them ur age, and be the first one to say goodbye to them. 

Be the first to reject them, then let them wondered what they r missing. Lol

 

Unfortunately, it doesn't help if the guy won't open the door when he sees you through the door or door spy...

 

There is one guy one one app who is in his mid 60s but states 25y in his profile and has a good looking local boy pic of similar age as profile pic, mentions nowhere that the pic is not him. he will send similar pics if you ask for more to see...

 

When I opened the door, I told him that he must be wrong as I did not order any food, because I thought he is one delivery uncle on the wrong floor, I actually wanted him to get off my door asap as I was semi-erectedly waiting for my boy...but he then called my name... I told him: " You are not serious are you?" Please stop duping people."

He made a big scene on the corridor as if I was wrong and had an obligation to entertain him. I told him to send a complaint to his MP and shut the door...

 

He is still around on this app with the same pic and age indication...

 

 

Edited by singalion
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I don’t see it as much of an issue. Basically TS was just upset that he had been rejected.

 

1. Rejection is part and parcel of the game. Everyone must have rejected someone else before. It’s a matter of who gets to do the rejection more. 
 

I prefer to be rejected outright than to have anyone waste my time. 
 

2. People choosing those around their age is the norm, whether in the heterosexual or homosexual dating scene. People choosing those far off their age is exception rather than the norm. If the older guy is rejected by a much younger guy, that’s really to be expected. And nothing to be sad about. Mature guys have their charm which you can’t really get from youths. Likewise youths have their youthfulness that you don’t get from mature guys. But when it comes to the dating scene, it’s the younger guys who have the edge unless you are a Hunkle. 

Edited by Startup
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For those who picked up wrong guys through ap, doncha have a smart phone that can video call?

鍾意就好,理佢男定女

 

never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want.

 

结缘不结

不解缘

 

After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say.

 

看穿不说穿

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On 7/12/2022 at 8:04 PM, radiusulnar said:

3. it doesn't matter if the rejection is abrupt or polite; it remains a rejection

 

Not really:

We should always strive to suggest remaining polite and should not condone rudeness on apps.

People should not ghost, block or just cut the talk... Does a rejecting reply cost so much?

 

As we are discriminated by society we should strive for civility and fairness and being well treated...

 

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All of us (including TS) have our own preferences; age, ethnicity, skin color, specs/no-specs etc. if TS can accept that, then he will feel less offended by the abrupt response. 
 

I would rather the other party rejects me out front than wasting my time by trying to be nice or finding excuses to avoid me. If the person is not comfortable to verbalize it, blocking the chat or number is also fine 

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Guest Guest
On 7/11/2022 at 12:24 PM, radiusulnar said:

have you ever been in a situation where a text or video chat was going well but when you are asked and (stupidly) reveal your age, you get ghosted or kicked out of the chat? i never understood why especially for video chat when it was obviously ok right before that moment.

People here were asking When do Gays stop losing value?....So now u noe e answer. Tis is reality n e truth.

 

 

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Guest Try and see
On 7/12/2022 at 3:37 PM, Startup said:

2. People choosing those around their age is the norm, whether in the heterosexual or homosexual dating scene. People choosing those far off their age is exception rather than the norm. If the older guy is rejected by a much younger guy, that’s really to be expected. And nothing to be sad about. Mature guys have their charm which you can’t really get from youths. Likewise youths have their youthfulness that you don’t get from mature guys. But when it comes to the dating scene, it’s the younger guys who have the edge unless you are a Hunkle. 

 

Yes, it's a painful fact of life. This also happens in straight relationships - the younger girls get all the attention from the guys, while women in their late 30s onwards mostly get ignored in the dating scene. 

In fact, I would say that in every society, women suffer more from ageism than us guys, whether gay or straight.

 

On a side note, I see a lot of posts in the BW Personals section by younger gay guys stating that they only want guys between 18 - 28.

Like, bro, one day, when you hit 35, a younger gay guy is going to tell you that you are too old for him.

That day will come.  

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On 7/16/2022 at 11:37 AM, Guest Try and see said:

 

On a side note, I see a lot of posts in the BW Personals section by younger gay guys stating that they only want guys between 18 - 28.

Like, bro, one day, when you hit 35, a younger gay guy is going to tell you that you are too old for him.

That day will come.  


It’s called circle of life. You reject someone now, you will get rejected later. A matter of time.

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  • 3 months later...

For me, I find that I gauge based on the physical condition of the person, it's not purely about how much muscles or lack of wrinkles, but also the skintone, body proportion, etc, that gives the impression of drugfree health, virility, and masculinity. I've been turned off by young muscular guys as well as attracted to matured less muscular guys, as well as the other way around, purely based on how their body looks.

Edited by Buffedbear
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Guest Mannersmakethmen

Yes, to maintain one's mental health, learning to be take ghostings and wordless blocks like water falling off duck down is crucial.

Yet I appreciate, and it makes my day, when someone rejects me fairly and politely (which is like once in a blue moon). So even though rejected, I was given a step to come down from the pedestal (tai2 jie1 xia4) and my dignity is intact.

Although we should strive to uphold good manners and call out poor ones, I've learnt the hard way: 

After being ghosted for some weeks after a prior 'promise' to meet up, I just texted to say 'maybe you've changed your mind? Just let me know if I'm actually not your type and I'll back off', and that person promptly blocked me on all apps and platforms (even IG). To me, that sent me the message that I was really beneath his attention and that I am worth zero effort.

I might have been horny for him (totally my type), but now that I can't even see his photos anymore, all I can remember of him are his poor manners.

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On 7/11/2022 at 3:13 PM, Why? said:

Next time, display your cock just before disclosing your age. It lessens the blow of rejection and probably results in acceptance.

Anyone who shows his cock without showing me his face and body or even talk something will get an ignore from me. Its an instant turn off for me if someone do this

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On 7/11/2022 at 3:37 PM, Why? said:

If you have humongous cock, it could be a real game changer regardless of age, or look.   Homosexual individuals are not gay if they dislike cock.

I am only attracted to handsome male face and fit body and not the disgusting looking cock. The only purpose the cock for me is to pee, to get pleasure and to make handsome fit guys pleasure. I dont see any attractiveness from the cock be it big or small but those enormous cock to me looks horrible like its on steroid.

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On 7/12/2022 at 12:37 PM, fetish69 said:

I don't think is about age is all about chemistry and if the mature guy able to hold himself as groom himself to looked very most I don't think having problem meeting people. I guess some young ones less appealing compare to the mature ones as the way bring himself in public such as the way way dress. Is not that you have dress to kill at least decently presentable fresh looking clean cut. Some mature looked younger than their ages and some of younger ones looks much older than their age the way they dress.

Diet, genes and fitness level actually affects a person much more when looking younger or older than their age

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Girls go for love while guys only has sex in his mind.

 

And guys regardless if you are a straight or gay is very pragmatic. Have you seen straight guys crowding around ugly girls like houseflies? The only time a straight guy trying to befriend n ugly girl is because she is the bestie of a chiobu he is after.

 

So when we get rejected for whatever reasons (basically just not his type), we should understand what's in his mind? We are all guys after all. Don't need to be too bothered by it.

 

Everyone is so time tight these days. The earlier I get blocked, the better for all.

 

Learn how to move without emotions to survive. 

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20 hours ago, yoyo74 said:

I am only attracted to handsome male face and fit body and not the disgusting looking cock. The only purpose the cock for me is to pee, to get pleasure and to make handsome fit guys pleasure. I dont see any attractiveness from the cock be it big or small but those enormous cock to me looks horrible like its on steroid.

 

I also don't care about anyone's cock and as long as it is within a wide range of "normal" it does not affect my disposition for sex.

 

20 hours ago, yoyo74 said:

Diet, genes and fitness level actually affects a person much more when looking younger or older than their age

 

I would say that a healthy lifestyle can make up to a 20 years difference.  However it has to have been cultivated and sustained for decades, nothing changes instantly.

.

Edited by Steve5380
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If one has the fortune to look much younger than one's chronological age,  I see nothing wrong with lying a little about it.   If a 70 y.o. is so well preserved that he looks like 60 or even 50,  I'm sure God will forgive his lie if he says that he is 60 or 50.   :) 

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There is a lot of people asking about my age. If its a friend i will just tell them. If its a stranger i may or may not tell them depends on how they ask me and my mood on that day. I will not resort to lie about my age as i see it really meaningless. I will just show him my instagram where all my current photos of my face and body contains and let him see whats hes getting instead of a useless age number.

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