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Marky's Life Stories...

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After reading Adam's stories... I also thought it would be nice to share mine as well. Unlike Adam however, I can't recollect back that far back as he could.

The following is a story that was posted like 6-7 years ago on another forum. Thought it would be nice to share it here with those who like some bedtime stories......

Part 1

I wasn't certain of my sexuality before I entered the army, and neither did I think that love between 2 guys was possible till my enlistment....

That was years ago. About 6 of us combat enginner NCOs were posted to this God forsaken camp in Lim Chu Kang for armor conversion. We dreaded this place then as it was either very muddy when it rained or very dusty if the weather got too dry. Worst of all, our weekends booking out time were usually pushed back because of armor vehicle inspection :swear:

I remembered the very first day we arrived at our bunk. There were just 4 double decker beds meant for the 6 of us. I picked a lower bed near a new cupboard. Back then, most cupboards were in terrible and rusty conditions He came a little later and the first thing he did was to remove my duffle bag from my bed, and threw it over to another one by a rusty cupboard!

"Hey! That's my bed! I took it first! Why did you do that!?" I shouted at him. :angry:

"Well, it's mine now. Don't come and fight with me over it hor!" he replied.

Darned! Peter was this Ah Beng whom nobody liked becoz he was a slacker. Just a week earlier before we were posted out of the School of Combat Engineers, our course mates had given him a blanket party by putting eggs inside his underwear before smashing them. As he was taller than me, stronger and also quite muscular, I decided not to play up the issue and resign myself to the bed where he had relegated me to. I was fuming inside me. It was bad enough to be posted to this desert camp and it's worse now with Peter around. Needless to say, we didn't speak to each other throughout the rest of the day.

Lights-off was observed at 10pm that night and immediately, Peter jumped out of his bed and hopped over to mine. He put his arms around my shoulders and said :

"Don't be like that lah, I'm used to having my way most of the time and I really like that bed leh..."

"Oh, you think I don't izzit!? I took it before you did!" I fumed again.

"Ai yah, it's only a bed lah! Come on leh, let's not fight over it, ok? Let me make it up to you in other ways, can?" he offered. His hands began to carress the round of my shoulder and admittedly it felt good. I relented and we began to talk. Eventually, we became course buddies... :lol:

Our training was tough. More often than not, we slept only after 2am and had to wake up by 5.30am. On nights when we get to retire by 11pm however, Peter would never fail to jump over to my bed and we'd talk to the wee hours of the mornings... Soon I too began to enjoy those regular nocturnal treats ;)

Peter got bolder by the weeks. I wasn't sure if he was testing my sexuality or trying to liberate me from my geeky nature. Very often, he'd ask me things like if I knew how to masturbate or how to prolong it etc. He'd even stripped to show me his impressive member and how he did it... and boy could he last a long time! Then there were times when he'd use his fingers to play with my ears sending erotic sensations down my spine. I'd never experienced such exquisite touches before that. And just before our summary exercise, he took my hand and slipped it into his briefs and asked me to carress it for him. Believe me, it was a shock to me then and I quickly withdrew my hands and baded him good night immediately

Being the slacker that he was, it wasn't surprising that he fell asleep halfway thru our summary exercise and had to sign 6 extras. Our camp was a very small one in terms of staff strength. The regulars hated performing weekend duties and seized every opportunity to catch trainees like us in any minor offence to perform the dreaded weekend regimental duties. Peter had to discharge his all at once meaning he couldn't book out of camp for 3 consecutive weeks. I laughed at him... and unwittingly had to sign an extra myself for some minor offence too :blink:

It was 10pm that Saturday night. By this time, we had already graduated from our course and were awaiting to become instructors. Our new bunk was located right on the top floor of a mostly uninhabited building. I had to book in for my duty as the guard commander the following morning. Peter was already in the bunk walking about in his underwear as usual; he was the duty COS for that weekend.

Just as well that he never changed - he still enjoyed sharing the bed with me....

"So how's your Sat?" he enquired.

"Better, if I needn't have to come back here.."

"I'm glad you realized that! Ka ni na, I thot nobody knew how I feel!" Peter cursed. Then suddenly, he toned his voice down....

"Erm, you want to play a game?" he continued and I felt his hands carressing my shorts; a tent was forming.

"Eh, don't touch my private part can or not?" I gently brushed his hands away. "What do you want to play?"

"Nothing lah... Erm..., you ever kiss before? Bet you never tried it before right? JC students like you sure never try lots of things wan..." Peter was from BMC in Bt Merah. "Let me show you..." and he suddenly lurched forward and kissed me on the lips.

"Eh, this is odd and uncomfortable leh. Can we play other games?"

"Play with cocks lor... very enjoyable wan let me show you..." And he started rubbing my shorts again.

"Hey, quit that! Someone may just walk in!" I was nervous; I've never had such an encounter then....

"Maybe you touch mine then, many girls like mine, ok. I let you touch very special already..." And he made me wrap my hand around his long member and started masturbating him.

I removed my hands quickly at the first chance I had and kept very quiet. I was not used to these encounters that I was experiencing that night. Peter stopped and kept quiet for a while too. The silence was awkward...

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Apologies if anyone feels offended by the content of the story. This is actually not a sex story intended to attract audience. It just happens that this sex portion is instrumental to the development of the rest of the story, that's all. The rest would be mild, ok?

Ok, here's the next chapter...

Part 2

"Come on lah, try to understand how I feel. Kena lock up here for 3 weeks, cannot fxxk girlfriend already very terok. I thot maybe we can try to have fun here..."

Peter took my hand again and placed it over his dick once more. This time around, I didn't withdraw in protest. There was this conflict of feelings going on inside of me. I've never had any sexual encounter prior to this so it was new to me. There was this feeling of extreme guilt and a sense of wrong versus a desire to taste the forbidden fruit...

"Ah, see, you like it, rite? Told you no big deal, rite? Can suck for me?" <_< Peter tried to take the matter as far as he could.

"No, I don't do such things!" I responded and instinctively withdrew my hands again.

Peter frowned with disappointment at the stalemate at hand. There was that awkward silence again except for the rusty aging ceiling fan that was spinning furiously in the humid heat of the night. Suddenly, he tilted his body to face me and said "You JC guys ya ya like papaya but no actions wan! I will show you what sex is all about!" With that and in one swift move, Peter pulled my right arm to behind my back and tried to pin it down. A wrestling match ensued but being small size and often frail, I was no match against this hunky ah beng. I had both arms pinned behind my back in no time and Peter rested his heavy body on mine with his right hand grabbing hold of my dick.

"I'll teach you to enjoy sex!!" He giggled as he lustily whispered into my ears. And he started masturbating me in swift strokes.

"No, don't! I'll shout for help! Pleas..." I never got to finish my sentence as he started kissing me deeply... His uninvited tongue probed intrusively into my mouth and he started sucking my breath too in an effort to quell down my protest.

My heart started thumping madly at the totally new sensations I was experiencing and it wasn't long before the first torrent of my juice came gushing out. What surprised me was that Peter didn't stop, "I'm sure you ya ya JC students can go for many rounds, rite?" Peter whispered wickedly into my ears again...

My manhood went limp after having shot its second load, leaving me totally tired and spent. Peter got up, put on his slippers and walked nonchalantly to his cupboard to get his toilet roll to clean his own hands.

It took a while for me to get over the shock of what had just happened. 5 minutes had gone by, and still no toilet roll was offered to me. I got up angrily and headed for the showers...

I must have stood underneath the running water for quite sometime. "My God! What have I done!!?? How did I ever get into this mess!? How could I let a guy kiss me or even touch my manhood!?? And if it was wrong, then why did my manhood respond eagerly to his stimulations??" One has to understand that this was the mid 80s and I was quite ignorant then....

I was overwhelmed by guilt and shame. I felt dirty too; not from the residual aftermath of that forbidden encounter that has long since dried on my torso but it was like a dirt that has tainted your heart and mind... that which can never be erased away... And somehow, I knew then that I have lost my innocence... Suddenly and for some inexplicable reason, I started sobbing furiously...

It was perhaps about another half hour before I got back to the bunk. Peter was lying on his own bed and smoking his menthol Salem. I towelled myself dry quietly and went straight to sleep, totally ignoring him. It didn't take him long to jump over to my bed again...

"How come you stay inside toilet so long wan? Why, crying ah?? Aiya, masturbate only what? Don't tell me you never do it before? Like that also can cry..." Peter placed his hand on the round of my shoulder and tried to pacify me.

"You fxxking chee bye! You fxxk off from my face! I don't want to see you again! Get lost!" I uttered softly under controlled anger. I was still fuming madly inside me.

"Wah! First time hear you scold bad words!! Not bad hor, improve liao! Can fight with me liao...." Peter began to chuckle in amazement at the profanities I was hurling at him... He continued again after seeing I have toned down.

"Don't like that leh.... I'll take full responsibility for what has happened, ok??" Peter shook my shoulders gently this time in an effort to see a breakthru.

"You are sick, you know that!?? You think this is some Taiwanese movie izzit!!??"

Peter didn't reply this time. He was known to have had many girls in his life before and his reputation at winning them over was legendary. He seemed to know how to put that in good use that very night too... He kissed me once again roughly and playfully on the round of my shoulder whilst caressing it and whispered gently into my ears how much he valued my friendship etc... I was soon serenaded to sleep.... :oops:

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Since my home pc is out of action at the moment, that means I won't be able to post the next few chapters over the weekend. So I will post another chapter today. Here's wishing all readers a happy weekend :thumb:

Part 3

I remember waking up very early the following morning for my Sunday guard duty. Peter was still sound asleep next to me. Apparently, he had himself fallen asleep while serenading to me the night before. I gazed at that face of his in a different light. Lying before me was a charming guy in blissful slumber. His smooth cheek reflected the weak roseate glow of the morning sun. How ironical that I hated him to the bone just the night before only to have a stirring feeling for him at the dawn of a new day. I contemplated kissing his smooth cheeks but chickened out after an agonizing minute; I was still uncertain of my sexuality then.

Guard duty that particular Sunday was a rather boring affair. I was lucky then to have a Duty Officer who was too pre-occupied and spending hours on the phone with his girlfriend and had left us to our own devices. I spent a good part of the morning recalling the events of the previous night : the kiss, the intimacy and his gentle mannerism when serenading me to a blissful slumber. “I must be mad and insane for entertaining such forbidden thots!!” I reasoned to myself. For on the one hand, my conscience cautioned me against such forbidden lusts but my heart yearns for that fateful night’s encounter to be repeated over and over again. I was pleasantly delighted when Peter appeared at the guardhouse during lunchtime. He said that the darn DO wanted some privacy in the Ops Room and hence he took the opportunity to come visit me to see how I was doing. I told him I was alright by then and have forgiven him already. He said smugly that he knew I could never hold it against him as no girls had ever gotten angry with him for long either <_<

Anyway, we had the afternoon all to ourselves and we chatted while watching tv to while away the lazy afternoon. However, we both made a conscious effort not to mention further the previous night’s encounter. I got to know Peter better that day. Actually, we were from the same secondary school except that he didn’t do well enough to qualify even for the Pre-U centers and had to enroll in a commercial school doing accountancy instead. He told me how loose and liberal the girls were in such schools and it helped that he was good looking, has nice physique and was a smooth talker. He would mention how girls would fight to date him and even seduce him when they go on dates… And as he shared those “commercial school days” exploits with me, I started to have this awful sour feeling deep down inside my heart. Instinctively, I knew it was a form of heartache; jealousy to be precise... (and I thot the term “heartache” was just a figure of speech) What was even more weird to me was that I wasn’t jealous of him having all those girlfriends then but I was jealous that all those girls were laying their hands on him! How could they!!??

As the weeks passed, we got closer and closer. No, I did not display any public show of affection as I have always been the passive sort. Peter would as usual be jumping over to my bed every night and I was no longer hostile towards him. We’d talk into the wee hours of the morning before retiring. And because we conversed reasonably loudly at the beginning, no one else in the bunk suspected anything initially. And occasionally when Peter gets horny again, we’d indulge in some light petting. What I liked most was when he puts his strong arms around my shoulders like he did that very first night; it makes me feel so loved, cherished and secured. I had from then onwards come to like ah bengs because of Peter. We never ventured into handjobs anymore, and it was to remain so for the rest of our term in the army…

There was never a doubt on my part that Peter was not gay at all. I reasoned that his sort likes to boast of sexual exploits; be it with a guy or a girl. Furthermore, his weekends were spent strictly with his bevy of ah lians. I became like his weekday substitute :blink: Hence, I was always mindful that I should never hope this unique friendship that we had can ever develop into any relationship. I know for sure that all this means nothing to Peter as it was just a game to him. If he treated me well or special apart from the rest, I’d just treat it as a bonus and would also return the favor. I would never read too much into his actions. Perhaps it was recognizing this fact that kept me sane during those NS days.

We soon had our first batch of trainees since passing out as instructors. Surprise, surprise, our course instructor decided to pair all the instructors up in order to provide better instructions to the trainees, and Peter and I were paired together! :thumb: Those few months we had were about the most enjoyable. The trainings were tough and mostly ended at 2am every night even for us instructors and so we didn’t spent time in bed together then. But the day time companionship was more than sufficient to compensate for it all. Furthermore, as we get to travel from one training ground to another in our APCs with either one of us manning the cupola as the vehicle commander, the other would invariably be below deck positioned strategically around the other’s crotch area ready to tease the…. erm if you know what I mean :whistle: :whistle:

As time passes, it was difficult for others not to notice that Peter and I were like brothers in that we shared food and slept together. We would even volunteer to do one another’s task or cover each other’s mistakes. Our fellow instructors didn’t exactly suspect anything amiss as they too knew Peter was the typical ah beng who likes to boast his sex appeal; and I was the quiet and passive sort who displayed no public show of affection. Still, they teasingly called me Peter’s 老婆 (wife). Even our course commander teased us. And whenever they called me that, I’d put up a weak protest to show my disapproval, but secretly I was happy that it showed in a way that our friendship was special.

But I think it did get to a stage where we both felt the teasing got a little out of hand. Although we didn’t openly talk about what bothered us, we somehow knew how uncomfortable the other felt. Perhaps we were still too young then to know how best to react to such comments so the end result at times inevitably ended on a wrong note. I remembered one incident in which I took it badly…

It was the mid-year monsoon season then and training was cancelled due to a thunderstorm. The trainees were given time to themselves that afternoon while we instructors rested in our bunks. Minjoot, a big and potty Eurasian army regular was someone we all considered as extremely “Kuai Lan”. He was another well known asshole who exploits every available cunt he sees. I was in bed reading the papers when he shouted loudly across the room… “Wah lao, when will this fxxking course ever end? So long never go fxxk a girl already… eh, Peter, can borrow your wife or not huh?”

“Don’t talk cock hor, I don’t have a wife, ok?” Peter was going thru his accounting textbooks and couldn’t give a damn to this asshole.

“Good! Mark is mine then. Eh, Mark, you like to play backside, right? Come, let me play with yours!” Minjoot called out to me.

“Watch your words, ok?” I responded.

“Come lah, don’t pretend. I know you like to play backside. You think I don’t know what’s going on between you and Peter?? If you can let Peter fxxk you, I can too, right??” Minjoot smirked and started slapping my butt.

A sudden icy cold gripped my heart. Gosh! How did he know all that when he was a regular and a stay-out personnel?? I started to get very defensive and grabbed his hands tightly to prevent him from slapping my butt further. “I don’t do such things you hear me, you fxxking fat Minjoot? You dare and I’ll kick your balls! And you guys better stop all these teasing!” I demanded.

It was a wrong move; I shouldn’t have insulted him cause it triggered an unexpected reaction from him. “You chee bye Mark! Want to play expensive with me izzit? You will fxxking pay for your insults!” And with that, he came over to my bed and tried to strip me. I tried to put up a violent struggle against this asshole. Although the odds were stacked against me (me 1.65m and 51kg, he 1.75m and 80kg) I’m proud to say I defended myself quite well for a while. But when my pants were pulled down, I started to panic and really kicked his balls. He grimaced for a while and when he recovered, he started raining blows on my face; the banter had gotten out of hand… And Peter just watched the entire episode from his bed….

Some of the other instructors came over to restrain that monster asshole while I quickly scampered out of the bunk to the far end balcony where the rain was still pouring relentlessly. And there, I sobbed furiously thinking about the entire incident. How did I ever acquire such a reputation? Why do I always get bullied? It wasn’t long before I notice a figure walking awkwardly and quietly inching towards me; it was Peter…. :unsure:

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whatever happened to the other thread on army days about two misfits who became close , one hunky big sized guy and the other who jerked him off in the morning when he took his shorts off to show a hardon ? and looking at the big ssized guy shower with a hardon ?


I just want to help my didi. Shall remain silent

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SKMan : Ahem, Where's this story you mentioned? But you can be sure that's not my story. Mine's only erotic at the start; the rest is more or less is about my feelings concerning the whole event. Kekeke... But do stay around and read the story, cos it took me almost a week to write it. blink.gif

Part 4

I ignored his presence and continued squatting there fuming with anger. Peter approached cautiously and squatted next to me. Now we both really looked like a pair of ah bengs along a five-foot-way watching the world go by. Two minutes had passed but not a word was spoken between us; we were both waiting for the other to make the first move. dry.gif

Peter finally gave me a gentle nudge with his elbow as if to ask me what's up. I responded by brushing his elbow away. A second nudge came and I brushed it away curtly again. Then Peter finally spoke up softly.

"Don't tell me you're angry with me? What did I do wrong?"

"You know, it is one thing to encourage that fxxking hippo to do what he just did, and another to just stand there and watch instead of coming over to help me." I muttered angrily.

"But I don't want others to get the wrong impression mah, you also know what they all have been saying..."

"Eh, we are also buddies, right? You mean you won't help me just because others having been talking about us? What kind of friendship is this? If I see you being attacked on the streets, I'd come over and help you!!"

"Please lah, you so small size, you sure die first.."

That's it! I shook my head in resignation at the futile attempt to get this si ah beng to understand what I was going through. I immediately got up to leave but Peter tugged strongly at my arm and dissuadded me from leaving.

"Just joking lah! Why you get angry so easily wan? I'm just trying to cheer you up lah. Don't tell me you want to go back to bunk and see that hippo again?" Peter tried to reason with me.

I avoided eye contact with him and instead, stared blankly at the distant where the rain still continued to pour heavily. Suddenly Peter stretched his neck towards my ears and began to whisper a silly song to me.

"Marky, Marky please don't cry,

I will buy you a chicken pie.

If you don't like the chicken pie,

Then you can call me a Chao Chee Bye..." ohmy.gif

I had to admit that stupid song sounded really outrageous and I burst out laughing. All at once, everything else seemed so trivial and all was forgiven; and we became good friends once again. It was only much later that I found out he used this same song to pacify all his girlfriends dry.gif

Allow me to share more about this colorful character. Like any respectable ah beng of that era, he too owned a mini-compo. Not those ugly ghetto blasters that blared unintelligible noises but a sleek Panasonic that fitted nicely into his cupboard. And that was his prized possession. He was into breakdancing (similar to the present day hip hop) and so most of his cassettes (we're talking about the 80s, remember?) were breakdance music. He'd play them over and over again the moment he steps into the bunk. I've listened to them often enough to remember some of the lyrics even to this day (Click here)

Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride

Nobody's gonna slow me down

Oh no, oh no, I've got to keep on movin'

It was fun to watch him breakdance in the bunk. He wanted to show me how to execute some of the moves too but I declined as they seemed rather dangerous. However, it was his taste in love ballads that I remembered him best. There was a contemporary hit then by Jermaine Jackson which he'd play over and over again (Click here)

Why don't you do what you do

When you did what you did to me

Love was so good, that it fills up all my needs

I was crazy for you, you were crazy for me

How could something so right, go so wrong

My love, sweet love....

Tell me something I didn't do

Why did someone else put you through

Did they steal you away like a thief in the night

Love like wings, must take flight....

Sigh, I still think of Peter and recall fondly those wonderful moments we had whenever I hear this song played on the airwaves. The lyrics somehow spoke to the both of us.... Back to the story...

It was soon approaching the summary exercise for the course trainees we were taking. The task for us instructors were to play the role of the enemies. Night after night, Peter and I were always placed in remote parts of Area D & E to await the trainees' convoy. And when they do pass by, we'd ambush them The wait is usually 2 or more hours most of the time. We'd usually spend those times chatting or when he gets horny again, we'd have a go right under the bright moonlight There was this time when we were almost caught with our pants down. We were lying near some bushes in Area E by the Sarimbum Reservior at the spot where most armor floatation exercises were conducted. We were just down to our underwear when a speeding landrover headed in our direction. Apparently, our course commander was worried that we had been left there for too long :whistle:

"Bloody hell, don't think I don't know what you guys are up to again!" Our course commander would grin wickedly.

"No lah, sir, it is very hot out here mah. We were hoping you'd bring us a cold drink!" We joked back. You see, our course commander and us were trainees together before this present batch and that's why we can be casual with each other :rolleyes:

"Anyway, OC has asked me for one of our instructors to be attached to 3rd Guards for 6 weeks for their overseas training in ROC. I'm sounding this out to all you guys to see who would be interested...." Our CC continued.

Would we be interested!? Is the sky blue? We'd die to get there! And we spent the rest of the evening sharing notes on what little we knew about then about the ROC.... thumb.gif

Edited by marky

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Here's another chapter to make up for not posting yesterday...

Part 5

The following few days were abuzzed with speculation as to who would be selected for the elite Guard unit attachment. Most agreed that it would either be Peter or myself

"Of course Lta Chua sure pick me lah; I'm the stronger one!" Peter would boast. <_<

"Don't forget I won the best PT award hor..." :whistle: I'd countered But as luck would have it, something unfortunate happened....

It was on a hot afternoon; the course we were conducting had just finished their summary exercise and were busy washing their equipments and vehicles. Since the weather was unbearable, the instructors all took refuge in our bunks instead of being with the trainees to supervise the cleaning.

I can't exactly remember right now how we started this mass wrestling match. I only remember that Peter was giving me this bear hug from behind me and others were pouncing on us too.

"Ok, stop, I can't breathe!!" I remember uttering at one point.

"Yeah, rite!" Peter responded.

"Serious, I can't breathe..........!!"

I was sent to CMPB at Dempsey Rd the following morning where the x-rays showed I had sustained a hairline fracture on one of my ribs :blink: I returned to my camp with a heavy heart. All my colleagues were gathered at the training office when I arrived to report to my CC.

"Mark, what happened to yoooou.... You got hollow bones izzit?" Lta Chua couldn't wipe the grin off his face.

"His rib cage so small sure break easily wan", someone just had to add that.

"No lah sir, his 'husband' always like to engage in rough sex!!" Another of my colleagues joined in.

"Ok, jokes aside. You make my job very easy liao. Peter! You will go for the overseas exercise!" Lta Chua declared....

I left the room shortly and wandered aimlessly along the balcony outside. Peter soon joined me. We both leaned against the parapet and stared blankly at the opposite building. Before he could utter a word, the rest of our colleagues passed us by and one of them said "Aaawww, Peter, you chum liao! Better learn to take care of your wife properly hor..."

"Sorry...." Peter mumbled very softly after the rest had left.

"No lah, you deserved to go..." I replied. :(

"I'm talking about the broken rib lah.." <_<

"It's ok lah, it's just hairline crack only, no big deal..." :unsure:

4 days later and Peter was all packed and ready to leave. I remembered the 2 of us going for a short outing the night before. He asked if it was really neccessary as I had difficulty breathing and holding onto the hand loops on the bus. I insisted as I was hoping to spend some quality time with him. Afterall, it may be the last time in a very long while. What will our friendship be like after 6 long weeks? Will we grow apart? Neither one of us would dare speculate.

We took a bus to Boon Lay interchange where I helped him buy some personal effects. Gosh, what were we doing? It's just a change in camp location for heaven's sake! Why would he need a new bar of soap and toothpaste?? This was followed by a movie and a late night supper before we headed back to camp again. Peter was with me all this while and yet I'm beginning to miss him already!!

For some unknown reason, Peter didn't come over to my bed that night. Neither did I want to pursue the matter. Other than a slightly noticeable silence, Peter behaved as if nothing has changed, much to my chagrin... And he was gone the next morning; no big fanfare..., no hugs, no public display of emotions, not even an opportunity to say a proper goodbye... Just a forlorn looking me quietly waving at him as the landrover that carried him sped off to 3rd Guards... :unsure:

The following few days were rather agonizing. The course had officially ended and it was the start of the lull period. There was hardly anything to do other than wasting the afternoons at the canteen. There were football and squash matches being organized but I couldn't participate due to my injury. I wanted to pre-occupy myself with work in order to avoid the pangs of loneliness and so I volunteered my services over at the admin block and was attached to the unit's chief clerk. You see, our unit was very small and had a strength of less than a hundred people so almost everybody knew each other. So even though I was from the training wing, I could sound the admin fellas out. What was supposed to have been a week's worth of work was finished within 3 days as I forgone the lunches and tea-breaks too. I used my nights to do my own physiotherapy hoping for a speedier recovery from my injury.

It was while I was here at the admin block that I realized these people knew about Peter and I as well! It was rather tiring to always having to deny that anything ever happened between us. It was common for guys to put their arms on each other's shoulders but when my S3 sees anyone doing that to me, he'd instruct them to remove their arms from my shoulders :blink:

Later on, I had the opportunity to conduct an Armor Orientation course for some senior NCOs from HQ SCE meaning the staff sergeants and warrant officers. I was glad to be out in the fields again. They were a cheeky bunch while they were on course unlike the stern image most of us remember them by.

While taking a break one day at the training shed at the armor vehicle driving circuit, one of the WOs suddenly beckoned me to go over to him.

"Come Cpl Tan! Come here!" He motioned me to him as he grinned cheekily.

"Yes, encik?" I responded.

"You suck my cock, can?" And everyone else burst out laughing..... :swear:

I saw my CO, Cpt Ravi, the following morning and asked for a transfer to another camp.

"No one has ever asked that of me before. Is there any particular reason?" He enquired with concern.

"No lah sir, I would like to join the rest of my previous course mates at 46SAR as I think I like operational life better. Besides, the present batch of trainees just pass out so there should be no lack of instructors..."

"But I hear you've got a fractured rib.."

"Can recover very fast one lah, sir, afterall, who never sustained an injury before while serving in the army, right?" :blink:

"Ok, I'll see what I can do, but no promises, ok?"

"Thank you, sir!!"

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Part 6

4 weeks had passed but it seemed more like 4 months without Peter's presence. I missed him terribly but what can I do other than internalizing my agony? This wasn't the age of handphones yet so there was no way we could have communicated.

I was amazed at how subtly Peter had invaded my thoghts, my dreams, my fashion sense and even my outlook in life. I realized I was slowly becoming appreciative of urban and funk music, the love ballads that he enjoyed listening to also became my fave. And when I hear them on the airwaves, I'd stop to think about where Peter was. Maybe he's up on some mountain top or perhaps the forest. Can he endure the cold of the autumn in a foreign land? There was another contemporary piece by Peabo Bryson which we both liked entitled "If Ever You're In My Arms Again". It came on the charts when the both of us were trainees in the School of Combat Engineers.

I remember hearing it once again when I was performing my duty as the guard commander. It was about 3am into the wee hours of the morning. All was peaceful and quiet safe for the sound of crickets that were aplenty hidden among the tall lallangs growing along the fringe of the guard house. I had the radio tuned to 90.5FM and suddenly that song came on!!

It all came so easy

All the loving you gave me

The feelings we shared

And I still can remember

How you touched me so tender

It told me you cared

We had a once in a lifetime

But I just couldn't see

Until it was gone

A second once in a life time

May be too much to ask but I swear from now on

If ever you're in my arms again

This time I'll love you much better

If ever you're in my arms again

This time I'll hold you forever

This time will never end....

The best of romances

Deserves second chances

I'll get to you somehow

Cause I promise now

If ever you're in my arms again

This time I'll love you much better

If ever you're in my arms again

This time I'll hold you forever

This time will never end ... (If Ever You’re In My Arms Again – Peabo Bryson)

While listening to this beautiful piece of music, I was so overwhelmed by the bottled up emotions that I have kept so privately to myself all these weeks, that I burst out crying on the bed I was lying on. The lyrics literally took the words out of my heart!! Peter, where are you right now? Are you taking good care of yourself? Do you know that I missed you so much? Why is my heart aching so badly right now? Do you know how lonely and melancholic I am without you..... *sob*

The agonizing 6 weeks finally came to an end, and I waited in eager anticipation of Peter's impending return. As our course commander was reading the duty roster to us one day, I casually remarked, "Lta Chua, why isn't Peter on the roster for this week? Isn't he supposed to be back tommorrow?" ;p

"Oh, he called to say the Guard unit has given him 6 days off and so he'd only be back next week."

"Orh....." I frowned heavily.

5 days later on a Monday, I was in the training office helping my CC draft out training materials when the door burst opened wide and there stood Peter! I didn't get to see him first as my back was facing the door.

"Eh, Peter! Ho say bo??" A chorus of greetings came from my colleagues.

"Peter! I thot you're only coming back tommorrow?" Lta Chua asked.

"Morning sir! Ya lor, but I miss you guys so much mah..." Peter grinned. And as he dropped his duffle bag, he came over to me before I could even get up and he gave me a tight hug from behind again in the presence of everybody!!!

"Eh, eh, behave yourself hah, don't make me report you to OC, ok?" Lta Chua cautioned.

"Peter missed his wife mah, they separated for so long liao!!" Someone said.

"Hey, not so tight, I'm injured, remember?" I tried to appear modest but I was actually on cloud 9! ;p

"Nevermind, we'll break it again! This time, I'd be around to take care of you!!" Peter continued embracing me and gently rocking me, totally oblivious to the presence of the rest. And so we were reunited once again :D

Everything seemed so different now that Peter is back. There was a certain freshness in the air once again; not just for me but for everybody else too. Peter was like the life of the group. And to celebrate his return, the whole gang of us went to the now defunct Yaohan Jurong at Yuan Ching Road (did I get it right??) to celebrate that same evening. Back then, the place was a thriving mall with a MacDonald's next door. And located on level 2 was this funky discotheque called "The Pink Pussy Cat" :P

So we were there listening to the thumping loud music. All the rest had beer while I had orange juice. You see, I'd puke even on a half can of beer Halfway thru, the DJ decided to spin some breakdance music and all my colleagues encouraged Peter to head for the dance floor to give us a demo! Peter obliged and everybody else stood around him and cheered loudly. And since they were all so high and crazy then, they all decided to dance guys to guys! Well, the DJ didn't stop us and even the nerdiest and most introverted amongst us took to the dance floor too! Peter motioned me to him... Me!!?? Did I get it wrong?? Peter wants me to dance with him!!! And so we sweated the night out on the dance floor... :D

Edited by marky

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Okay, this part is a little risque. Be warned....

Part 7

We got back to camp just slightly after midnight. We were able to do so since the guard commander was one of our colleagues. Erm, I did mention before it was a small camp where everybody knew each other, rite? :thumb:

One after another, my colleagues had their quick showers and were soon off to slumberland. I waited eagerly in bed leaving one side available in anticipation of his coming. I was not disappointed :)

"Honey, how have you been since I was gone? Did you miss me??" Peter asked cheekily as soon as he jumped into my bed.

"Eeekks, don't call me that, can? Sounds so mushy... Well, erm... actually, I really did. Life here isn't the same without you." Was that all I wanted to say?? :D

"Har? Really ah? So you must appreciate me more in future, ok?" And suddenly his hands were touching me all over again.

We both didn't have our t-shirts on and were only clad in our underwears then. It was nice to be able to experience his strong arms carressing my shoulders once again. I missed his warm embrace so much. I threw my modesty to the wind this time and took the bold step of gently exploring the ridges on his sinewy body. His chest was smooth and firm from the months of rigorous training; his abs & lats tight and distinct from regular conditioning and his cheeky smile brought out the little boy inside him... may this night never end... ;)

Peter would share about what they did during the overseas training and where he went during the 4 days of R & R. Yes, he had a few romp with the girls there. And yes, he has had his penicilin jab already... :lol:

We were beginning to feel the heat from the body contact we were having. A kiss was suddenly planted on my left ear, it felt good but I kept quiet. Then another gentle kiss was planted on my left cheek. And my lips parted when I felt his warm breath coming towards me. We kissed awkwardly for a minute before breaking it off.

Then Peter requested of me, "Will you suck for me this time?" <_<

"No lah, don't ever ask me to do such things, can? Please?" I begged Peter; I haven't discovered the pleasures of oral sex then.

There was a minute of awkward silence again. Oh no, did I spoil the wonderful evening?

"But I'll shake for you if you like" I compromised.

Peter nodded and pulled his shorts down and out sprung a half-rigid boner. It was handsome and impressive just like its master. I took his athletic member and started to work on it diligently but being inexperienced, I couldn't coax it to release its precious hoard of love juice at all. But I was rewarded with a little drop of his crystal clear pre-cum. Ah, the essence of Peter! I rubbed it gently between my thumb and index finger trying to familiarize myself with its silky texture. This is the very first time I've touch something so personal and so intimate...

"I give up, my hand is aching liao" I told Peter 5 minutes later. <_<

"Hah, that's cos you are a guy and only a girl can make me shoot!" Peter boasted.

"Ok lor, then go look for your Annie, Jenny and whoever other 'nees' you know lor..."

"Eh, I not so 'color' wan, ok? I only sleep with them one at a time!!" Peter tried to sound convincing.

"Yeah, one at any one time..." I said sarcastically :whistle:

So life was totally blissful for us from then on. There was nothing much to do in camp and we looked forward to our nights out. We'd either go Boon Lay or Bt Timah 7 miles. It may not sound hip now but those were the only places of reasonable distance available to us then. Yup, life was relatively simple then.

We had lots of free time during the day and Peter would use it to go through his textbooks. I approached him once out of curiosity...

"What are these books you're reading?"

"They are my textbooks for my ACCA course..."

What!?? ACCA!!??? My ah beng kor is doing ACCA!!??? :thumb: (Pardon my reaction, and I also forgot what ACCA stands for by now)

"Ya lor, my English no good, but I know accounts no need to rely on English to score..." He grinned.

Later on, I learnt that there were 3 levels in ACCA, much like a standard 3 yr course offered at NTU, and Peter was soon sitting for his 1st level. And since I was going to NUS the following year to study Biz Ad and accounting would be one of the core subjects, I got Peter to coach me too! He was patient and diligent, and I admired that enthusiasm in him to excel - that fire inside him that tells him having a poor command in English need not neccessarily handicap his chances of making it good in life.

Whoever said good times never last sure knew what he was talking about. And the bad news came dropping on me like a bomb one evening during our roll call....

"And where's Mark and Foo?" Lta Chua called out.

"Yes, sir?" We both responded.

"You guys will rejoin the rest of your previous gang mates at 46SAR from next week till you guys ROD." :huh:

"Haar...??" I exclaimed in disappointment. Foo, the other guy, however was elated.

"Don't har me, ok? CO, Cpt Ravi, told me you requested for it a couple of weeks ago. You better not joke with him on this matter. And cheer up lar, you may like to know that they are going overseas too, and they're short of 2 NCOs, so now's your turn to go...."

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Guest guest

just to let you know your story is appreciated and there are many who are reading but not replying

pls carry on posting.

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Hi Larry & Guest, thanks for your encouragement. I do know that people are silently reading this, and that's good enough for me. :) Ok, here's the final chapter. Hope everybody has been entertained for the past 1 week. Happy reading :)

Part 8 (Finale)

I didn't book out that night. I wasn't in the mood but neither did I want Peter to be affected by me. Peter offered to book in earlier and buy supper for me as well.

By 10.30pm that same night, Peter came into the bunk bearing 2 packets of mee pok from the famous corner coffeeshop just outside Sg Gedong - we had the supper together. An awkward silence enshrouded the room, each of us awaiting the other to initiate the topic of my transferring camp again...

"Wah, so you'll also get to go ROC har? Very shiok one." Peter started the ball rolling.

"I guess so..." I said dejectedly and looked at him with pleading eyes.... My heart was also crying out to him : Peter, forgive me for being so passive and reserved, but just tell me that you don't want me to go and I won't!! Please, Peter, say it!!!.... Those words never came :unsure::unsure:

Perhaps there is some innate sense of pride in us guys that makes us less expressive to one another. We were all brought up on that macho crap : we cannot and should not tell another guy our inner most insecurities! And we cannot show another guy how vulnerable we are! And love between guys is a grave sin.... and we all become victims of such macho expectations.... :unsure::unsure:

We didn't book out for the following few days. Instead, Peter took time off to pace me as I picked up jogging again in an effort to nurse myself back to health after having rested for so long from my rib fracture. I guess it must be just as ardous a task for him too since he was a smoker and therefore didn't have a good stamina. That's how I managed to snatch the best PT award from him during our trainee days. I'll never forget the sacrifices he made for me, this person whom I knew previously as a slacker....

The day finally came for us to leave. It was just after lunch at 1.30pm. That same rover was waiting for us. There was that uncanny sense of deja vu but only that we were playing the reversed roles this time. I mustered the courage to talk to him.

"So how are we going to keep in contact?"

"Ah! I give you my house number and you call me, ok? But not Saturday nights hor??" Peter smiled and scribbled his number onto my palm. :blink:

“Wah lao! What is this? 46SAR is just nearby on the way out to the main road and you guys talk like you’d never see each other again! Ok lah, you guys better leave now, it’s getting bloody hot out here.” Lta Chua was amused at us.

“Aiya, sir, we where got like you can use the office phone to call each other wan?” Peter slimed back. Then turning to me, he continued, “Take care, honey, remember to call, ok?” :P

I blushed and waved good-bye to him. At least this parting was better executed :)

It was just a 5 mins ride to our new camp. But there was not a single soul in sight at the Support Coy line when we arrived. Where’s the welcome party? Did Lta Chua get the date wrong? Suddenly the COS came out and explained to us.

Apparently, this was that very fateful day that the New World Hotel collapsed. The Support Coy had been mobilized just an hour earlier to assist in the rescue operations and won’t be back in camp for the following few days. I guessed I was lucky in a way as some of my fellow pioneers who were there suffered from post traumatic stress syndrome weeks after the rescue operation :ph34r:

And so we were left with nothing to do for the next few days. I called Peter that very night and was pleasantly surprised to find him home.

“Wah, so fast call already. Miss me izzit?” <_<

“Ya lor, you heard about the Hotel New World collapse? The guys here were mobilized to help in the rescue. Luckily we arrived late or I’d be there too.” I was careful not to talk on the phone for too long as it does seem funny for 2 guys to be on the phone for too long. “Very boring here leh, want to go out sometimes?”

“Why don’t you join me and my girlfriend this Saturday? We can go play squash at East Coast followed by roller skating and maybe cycling. Then at night we go disco again.” :D

“No lah, I don’t want to be a lamp post.”

“No lah, you won’t be lamp post wan! I won’t let you feel uncomfortable wan! Promise!”

“Maybe I’ll join you guys for the day program then.”

“Suit yourself lor, but you must promise me one thing first, ok?”

“What?”

“You promise first!!” <_<

“Ok, for you I’ll promise anything…” :lol:

And for the next few minutes, I had to memorize the traits of a very different Peter. Let’s see, by that coming Saturday, I’d become Peter’s best friend in camp. This new Peter doesn’t smoke or drink and spends his week nights in camp studying for his ACCA exams. He does not curse and neither will there be other girls in his life like Annie or Jenny or what have you… duh….… :P

I too spent 6 weeks training overseas in Taiwan as Peter had weeks earlier. The difference was that he had trained in the south while we were located up in the north. And it was winter then. Although mild by the locals’ standards. I could hardly endure the cold especially when it rained. My puny frame could hardly keep me warm and we could even see vapor coming out of our mouths when we talked early in the mornings. Programs for the day were quite hectic thus leaving no time to feel lovelorn. But when nights fell, I’d sense the emptiness in my heart once again and that's when I’d go for long solitary walks around the camp perimeter. Most of the leaves had fallen off the trees that sprouted all over the campsite so the entire landscape appeared relatively stark & bright. I’d breathe in the fresh and chilly air, and look up at the shimmering moon glowing in the sky. And I’d dream that Peter was staring at the moon that very same moment too!! And I’d make a wish…, that Peter was safe and sound, and that he would pass his crucial exams and go on to do better things in life! Just before we returned to Singapore I got him some reference materials from a street famous worldwide for its cheap university textbooks. :thumb:

Soon the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months. Peter and I were still buddies despite the physical distance between us. Just before I disrupted earlier for my studies at NUS, we met once again for a BBQ at East Coast Park. I had kept in very close contact with my instructor colleagues and they decided to throw me a farewell BBQ dinner in my honor. :)

They brought with them a crate of beer and needless to say, they were all drunk and fast asleep like pigs on the beach itself by 2am. All was quiet except for the sound of crashing waves from a rising tide. Peter and I laid on the beach too but we were not sleeping. We stared into the starlit sky and talked the night away...

“So what’s gonna happen from now onwards?” I began.

“Don't know lah, we’ll still keep in touch, right?”

“Ya, you’re the best buddy I’ve ever had!” I confessed to him bashfully. :oops:

“You mean becoz I do this to you…” Suddenly his hands went into my pants again and started exploring. Instinctively, I put mine into his too. We just needed to say goodbye to our ‘other buddies' too And we kissed for one last time….. ;)

****

We lost touch during the 3 years that I was studying in NUS. I received a call from him a year after I started working. Peter was getting married but not to that girl I once met at East Coast. He wanted me to be his best man then but I couldn’t spare the daytime to follow him on his rounds. In the end, I bought him dinner at the Red House seafood center in East Coast as an apology. We feasted on Sri Lankan crabs and even went back to that very same beach where we had the BBQ during army days and chatted the night away. Peter had done well for his ACCA level two exams and was giving himself another 2 years to complete the 3rd and final level! He had also found an accounting job where his boss appreciated him a lot. I met his wife at the wedding dinner… let's just say we should admire this new girl for her inner beauty :D

Another year passed and I saw Peter one final time. His wife was expecting their first kid. He brought me to see his new flat which was renovated and decorated by an interior designer at a cost of $60,000 (We’re talking about 1991 prices). He was by then made a junior partner at the same accounting firm I was so happy for him!! We later adjourned to a nearby coffeeshop for a drink and gleefully recounted the good old days that we had enjoyed together. His wife paged for him soon after. He excused himself as he had to pick her up from work and left. I waved at him till his figure disappeared into the distant... I never saw him after that…. :huh::huh:

We encounter all sorts of people in our lifetime. All of them serve to enrich our lives in one way or another. I never regretted ever knowing this colorful character, Peter. Needless to say, I'd treasure those intimate encounters which we have had; those memories will occupy a very special place in my heart. Peter was instrumental in my sexual awakening, and together we learned about friendship and male bonding. Most important of all however, is that I have learnt no matter how handicapped you think you are, there’s always an alternative route in life to success. Peter was a living example. He will always remain in my heart as that handsome and streetsmart ah beng from my national service days who had overcome his obstacles and made it good in life….

--- End ---

Edited by marky

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Gachi-Muchi & Andy@Tokyo : you're both welcomed :) If I can get hold of a pc over the weekend, I'd post my campus days story too.

Hope Gachi will share his army days story soon too. Care to share? I'd be one of the first in line to read it! Kekekeke... :thumb:

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Marky : very nice read. thanks for sharing.

i think that the rule of attraction between 2 human being do develop.... regardless of genders. especially during army time, when the 2 guys see each other, sleep together, do everything together almost everyday (minus weekends) .But at the end of the day, the cruel rules of the society will actually force one of the party (usually the str8) to be shot back to reality.

When i just completed my BMT, i was temporary posted to be a RP in a camp in changi... i was posted there with this campmate. and he is very str8, however due to the fact that we see each other everyday, we eat together, share a single bunk bed together, even to the extend of sharing a single pillow for the next 1/2 year.... he rely quite a lot on me, i seem to be a big bro figure for him, even though he is a few months older than me.... and soon guess it doesn;t take long for things to start happening...

to cut the story short, he once said to me : "you dun treat me so good ley... i scared i fall in love with you..." . Nope he didn't know that i'm gay. he knows that i have a gf then. anyway we seldom contact each other after we got posted out.....

but as fate would have brought it... we were colleagues again within 1/2 year. But things changed within that 1/2 yrs and nope, we din let any of our emotions bring us any further. :)

He will be getting married soon next year.. :)


Would It Shatter Your Illusion If This Angel Had Been Cursed?

http://shitou79.blogspot.com

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Thanks Marky.

Hi Marky, thanks. I really enjoyed reading your love experiences in the army. How I wish i was in the army. Too bad I was exempted for enlistment due to

medical grounds. Back then, I appealed to my MP, who was then the Minister for Defence to sign on as a regular in the forces but was rejected. I tried repeatedly for 6 times but again and again was rejected by the stupid MO at the then CMPB. He found it strange that I would want to sign on in the army

despite my medical condition. He told me that I was his first case of appealing to be in the army. I have never voted for him eversince. Heard from friends about army life, but so sad that I could not get through it. I then join the civil service. I guess I am contented to be in the civil service now. Well guys, I hope

to read more of your army experiences.

Regards

Danvin

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Dear Marky,

I really love reading your recount about your relationship with a straight Ah Beng. While reading your story, I wish I was in your position :rolleyes: I have often been too shy whenever a guy approaches me. That was worse when I was doing my NS as I was so afraid of being known as "gay". Hence, I have missed countless opportunities :(

So how are you doing now? Did you meet anyone?

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Hi Marky,

Like to say that your story has a special place in my heart because I had similar experience back in army days at Sungei Gedong camp too. It was a bitter sweet memory for me as it took 10yrs eventually to get over him. He is since married with children.

During then, I had wanted so much for our relationship to bear fruits but we had alot of things going against us. Loving someone so deeply is then like "throwing out water which cannot be collected" but I have never regretted it.

Thank you for bringing me back those sweet memories. :clap: :clap: :clap:

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Hey guys, thanks for sharing your stories too although they were short. Actually, if we really deep deep and make an effort to remember, we all do have stories to tell from those carefree NS days :)

Stoner79 : I thot Mindef is quite rich by the early 90s onwards, how come there's only 1 bed and a pillow to be shared by 2 persons ah? Hahaha... :D

Danvin : Woah, tis true, you're the 1st person I know who asked to be enlisted. But frankly I'd tell you this - many people pretend to bitch about their army life but deep inside, although few would admit to it, it is those days that mould our characters, made us physically stronger and enrich our life experiences. If I can re-live my life again, I'd have no regrets doing NS :) Anyway, you still got to serve the nation by joining the civil service :)

Larry : Ahem, I did take an active role.... in my next story. Stay tuned... ;)

Kookai : I came from those sepia colored days where society is not as opened as now. I assume you're younger :P So hope you will not be too shy or you'd end up as I did. All the best to you :)

Okay, I should be able to collect my home pc by this evening. If I do, I'd start posting my campus days story. ;)

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Okay, here's the story on my account of life in NUS till when I started working. Some of you may have read it before on my blog 2 years ago. This story is heavy stuff and may not be suitable for those who just want a lite reading. It also contain themes like adultery and gay sex. Those who can't accept either and feels the need to be on the moral high horse, please do not proceed further....

Prologue (Right click here)(link edited to Youtube by Gachi)

谁还记得 是谁先说永远的爱我

以前的一句话 是我们以后的伤口

过了太久 没人记得当初那些温柔

我和你手牵手 说要一起走到最后

我们都忘了 这条路走了多久

心中是清楚的 有一天 有一天都会停的

让时间说真话 虽然我也害怕

在天黑了以后 我们都不知道会不会有遗憾

谁还记得 是谁先说永远的爱我

以前的一句话 是我们以后的伤口

过了太久 没人记得当初那些温柔

我和你手牵手 说要一起走到最后

我们都累了 却没办法往回走

两颗心都迷惑 怎么说 怎么说都没有救

亲爱的为什么 也许你也不懂

两个相爱的人 等对方先说找分开的理由

谁还记得爱情开始变化的时候

我和你的眼中 看见了不同的天空

走的太远 终于走到分岔路的路口

是不是你和我 要有两个相反的梦

谁还记得 是谁先说永远的爱我

以前的一句话 是我们以后的伤口

过了太久 没人记得当初那些温柔

我和你手牵手 说要一起走到最后

我和你手牵手 说要一起走到最后… 记得 - 张惠妹

We meet all kinds of people in our lifetime. Some are our fair weathered friends while others play a significant role in our lives. Patrick was one such person who has been with me through thick and thin. Even though our paths took a different turn years ago, he has left an indelible mark in my heart and I’d always treasure those memories of our good old days where we shared our lives together.

The opening song actually summarises the entire story. Join me as we make a trip down memory lane. Where appropriate, the music which we both loved and grew up with will be aptly introduced. Peruse the lyrics and see if you can put yourselves in our shoes and share the thoughts and love we had for each other, and the pains we had to struggle through.

All that happened so many years ago. Although I can’t remember all of the things we did, I can still recall some of the memorable moments very clearly; it seemed like it was only yesterday that we’ve met…..

Part 1

Picture if you will in sepia tones of a time gone by; a time when Gloria Estefan, Whitney Houston, Starship and Rick Asley ruled the airwaves. It was a time when pagers were just starting to rise in popularity, Michael Jackson was still black, whilst the internet.….., what’s internet? ;p

And it was also my very first day in NUS where I was about to embark on a new phase in life as an undergrad for the following 3 years at the School of Business Administration. It was about 4pm that evening, a friend of mine who was supposed to give me a ride home changed his mind at the last moment. Hence, I was left stranded at the bus stop opposite the Forum looking rather blur and lost because I just didn't know how to take a bus home… And there he was, standing just a short distant away and smiling at me when our eyes met. I returned the smile bashfully; I had noticed him earlier in the course of the day during our campus orientation walk conducted by a senior as we happened to be from the same tutorial class. Being the quiet and reserved person that I was, I timidly approached him for help.

NUSbusstop-1.jpg

“Erm, hi, erm, wh… what bus do I need to that to get to Bt Timah?” I stammered. :oops:

“What? You don’t know? Never mind, we should be taking the same bus so you just follow me, ok?” Patrick was amused.

The bus came shortly after and I followed tightly after him; losing him would mean losing my way back home. The journey was quite long and afforded us the time to get acquainted.

“So, how come you don’t know how which bus to take, huh? Are you a Malaysian?” Patrick continued to grin. :whistle:

“Hmph, do I look Malaysian!?” I sounded peeved. <_<

“No lah, that’s not what I meant. I mean, you look so lost mah and don’t know how to take a bus home so I thought maybe you’re one of those Asean scholars coming to S’pore for the first time mah. Some more you look quite young like never go through army so it reaffirmed my speculation lor…” <_<

“No lah, a good friend of mine, Bernard, who’s also in Bizad like us was supposed to give me a ride. You see, we were very good friends since JC days right thru the army. And on weekends during our army days, I’d even give him a ride home after watching the midnight movies. He promised me it would be his turn to return the favor once our campus life starts but that idiot changed his mind at the last moment, sheeze…” I explained.

“Then how did you go campus today?”

“Take cab lor, dun wan to be late…” :oops:

Patrick smiled to himself and I wondered why he was so amused at my not knowing how to use the public transport. We continued to talk and got better acquainted that afternoon. We both came from relatively well-to-do families but neither one of us can detect that snobbish air in the other. Even though we both had cars, we didn’t want to give others a wrong impression and chose to use the public transport instead. He even taught me which bus to take the following day and saw to it that I got off at the right bus stop too. I smiled and waved happily at him once I alighted opposite Coronation Plaza; I was happy that I’ve made a new friend on my first day in campus. It was only a year later that he told me how cute and lost I looked on that first day in campus. And so, we became good friends since that fateful day; a friendship that neither of us knew then would weather all tests and time, and span a good 18 years….

In terms of personality and outlook, we were quite totally the opposite. I came from an English stream school whereas he was educated in Mandarin. But Pat’s command of English was as good as any of my previous schoolmates. He was also a year older than me having did a 3yr pre-u course. He was tall, tanned, slim and toned whereas I was... erm.. well, those who had seen me will know We became good friends since then and through the years in university, even though we may have different class schedules, we'd try to meet to have meals together. And when the opportunity presents itself, we’d go home together. I looked forward to those times because it was then that I get to spend quality time with Pat. And that was how the first year breezed us by.

Because Pat’s home was in Sembawang, travelling to campus became quite a hassle for him. He opted to rent a room in the West Coast during the 2nd year to minimize on travelling time. Since the both of us were fitness fanatics, I’d arrange to meet him at the West Coast Park early every morning for a jog before heading for lessons in campus. And when we had to shower at the SRC, I’d secretly steal glances in his direction. Pat had a nice lean, toned and tanned body then. He looked typically like a competitive school swimmer then…

At that point in time, neither one of us knew the other had gay inclinations and my feelings for girls were much stronger then. Coming from a family where I was frequently physically and verbally abused by both my dad and elder brother, I've always longed for someone whom I can really look up to as my buddy like Peter was to me in the army; and I felt that Patrick fitted that role well.

The opportunity to convey my thoughts presented itself sometime during our 2nd year. One of our tutorial mate's father had just passed away and we attended the wake together. While there, I innocently told him how I wished I could have him as my buddy; someone who is more than just a friend, someone whom I can share my problems and joys with, someone who doesn't have to say a word when I'm depressed but a mere squeeze of my hands conveying "Hey, I'm always here for you!" would do more than mere words ever can. Ironically, Pat avoided me and treated me coldly from that day onwards… :unsure::unsure::unsure:

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Ironically, Pat avoided me and treated me coldly from that day onwards… :unsure::unsure::unsure:

When confidence in one's sexual identity is fragile or worse, hopelessly confused, then the concept of bromance scares the shit out of even the most "manly" of us since lurking in the back of such a mind is "what will others think?". It doesn't help that being gay (then and even now) is generally viewed as a social stigma! :swear:

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tks marky for the the time and effort to write out your stories.

Very real and nicely written.

everyone of us would have met someone that touches our heart deeply, hence the famous saying "it takes 1 second to fall in love with someone, but it will take forever to forget"


:thumb: When I Think It, I Do It, I Win It! :thumb:

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Oralb : Thanks for your encouragement. Yups, its takes forever to forget someone dear. Anyway, I learnt that forgetting someone is not a solution, being able to be healed of the hurts is the thing we should strive for. I can say for sure cos I'm still in touch with him and we're in good platonic terms :)

Sexual Identity : Yeah, we were rather confused back then. Believe it of not, we thot we're the only ones in the entire campus who's gay. Hahahaha... Thanks to the internet, there's a social network wherever you go and no one needs to feel all alone anymore :)

Anyway, here's the chapter where Pat explains why he behaved the way he did....

Part 2

The following weeks were like a nightmare to me. Conversations were kept to a minimal and eye contacts were avoided where possible. I was devastated then. I didn't even know then what I had done wrong. :unsure: What was it that I said that made Patrick avoid me like a plague? I even confided in my other friends what I had conveyed to Patrick and his reaction to it! It was all an innocent act on my part then but on hindsight, I'd squirm just thinking how daring I was back then. :unsure: To avoid getting hurt further, I started distancing myself from him as well; I needed to move on and not let this be a hindrance to my studies. We no longer sat next to each other when we had lunch together with our common friends. And I tried hard not to meet him at the bus-stop either. :unsure:

During a long weekend, our gang wanted to have a BBQ and I agreed to host it at my home. Patrick came too and of course I avoided talking to him where possible. Surprisingly, none of our friends noticed that change in attitude we had towards each other. By 11pm that evening, most of our friends were beginning to take their leave while Pat lingered on.

“Erm, aren’t you leaving with the rest?” I asked almost diplomatically; I was like talking to a newly acquainted friend.

“Errr.., I want to help you clean the BBQ pit after it has cooled down...”

“It’s ok, the pit can wait till tomorrow.”

“Then I’ll help you clean it tomorrow morning...”

“No need lah, you better leave now. I think some of the guys may need a ride from you. See, they’re still standing outside the gates.” Anger was starting to brew slowly inside me.

Patrick fidgeted uncomfortably for a while before speaking up again, “Erm, c.. can I bunk over tonight? I think we need to talk.”

“We can talk when others are around, right? Isn’t that what you’d prefer?” I mentioned sarcastically.

“No, I think you misunderstood me liao.” Pat countered.

“I don’t think so; your actions sure spoke louder than your words…”

“Please let me explain, ok? Please? Can we talk in your room, please?” Pat pleaded.

I reluctantly agreed.

It was an awkward moment for the both of us the moment we stepped into my room. He sat at one end of my bed and I sat on the other far end; each awaiting the other to break the silence...

"Ermm, I… I noticed you're rather cold towards me lately. Did I do something wrong?" Pat finally spoke up.

"Well, I can't deny it either. I did tell you weeks back that I'd like to have you as a buddy, right? If you don't like that idea, you could have been frank with me about it. Just don't treat me coldly; it's rather hurting, you know.... I didn’t even know what was happening then. I'm not giving you the same treatment; it is just that I needed to distant myself from you to avoid getting hurt further..."

Silence again....

"I'm very sorry... I know I acted that way too. But I don't really mean it. I like to be your buddy too, but what will the others think?" :unsure:

"Why do you worry so much about what others think? Is it so wrong to be buddies? Don't you have buddies during your NS days? You know pretty well that I'm neglected by my family. You’ve known me for more than a year and how often do you hear me talk about them? I don't even have a brother whom I can talk to! All he does is beat me up! You’ve been in this house for more than 5 hours already and do you see my parents and I talking much? Do you know what kind of childhood I had? Because both my parents work and cannot attend to us, we’re not allow to leave the house for anything after school! We cannot go out with friends! And my elder brother always whacks me over every little thing. I just want someone to talk to; someone whom I can confide in. And I thought we got along quite well…”

“We do..”

“Then what’s the problem???”

“Haven’t you heard the Chinese saying "君子之交淡如水?"

"No, speak English."

"Erm, it’s an old Chinese saying that friendship bonds between gentlemen should be reserved and bland like water..."

“Yes, you are right and that’s how we’ll treat each other from now onwards…”

“Please don’t say that, please? I’m very confused right now. My mind says one thing and my heart wants another. Please, I don’t want to lose you…, please?” Pat’s right hand suddenly reached out and grabbed hold of mine.

We sat there motionless and held hands for what seemed like forever. Silence was consent. Neither one of us spoke; we were silently enjoying the warmth that was flowing through our hands; a warmth that finally melted all the icy barriers between us.

“So how now?” Pat smiled, 20mins had gone by.

“How what?”

“Is everything alright between us?”

“I guess so…” :oops:

“So shall we go downstairs and clean up the BBQ pit, er… buddy?” :)

“No need lah…..erm… buddy. I’ll do it myself tomorrow.” I chuckled and was ecstatic to be acknowledged as his buddy. ;)

“You sure or not? That thing is so heavy and clumsy. Wait you kena crush by it!”

“Ya rite! I may look small, but I’m just as strong as you, ok? Do you see all these shields and plaques hanging on the wall? They are all from my army days! I won many awards for best trainee and best PT!!” I boasted.

“Ya, rite!” :whistle:

“Wanna bet!?” I challenged.

My bed soon was turned into a wrestling ring with both of us trying to pin the other down in a show of strength. Being bigger in size than me, it was obvious that Pat would have the upper hand. But what I wasn’t ready for was what followed next.

“Ah ha! Told you I sure win, rite? Are you ready to admit defeat?” Pat had my arms locked behind my back and his hands suddenly went into my shorts! :blink:

“No, I haven’t lost yet! Just wait another minute and we’d be switching position! Argghh, what are you doing!!???”

“Still dun want to admit defeat izzit? Pom, pom!” Pat started squeezing at my private part. :blink:

“Hey, don’t touch down there! Nooo, I haven’t lost…”

“Ok, then… pom, pom, pom…” :blink::blink:

“Hey…....”

By the following morning, we were officially buddies… We didn’t talk anymore about that wrestling match we had the night before for many weeks to come. And my dream of having someone to look up to and share my life with had finally come true… :)

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Larry : Thanks you for your compliment. I noticed there are quite a number of stories here on BW, each specializing in a different field. I do like this one by Adam... though he is way before my time, but from his writings, you get transported back to a time in S'pore's past where you'd never have experienced. My story.., well, tis just a narration of my life. ;)

Koolkai : That "pom, pom, pom..." Well... it's gotta be demonstrated using da hands... you buy me tea some day and I'd gladly give a demonstration. Kekekekeke..... :lol: Ahem, jokes aside..., you sure you don't know what it is?? :D

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Stoner79 : I thot Mindef is quite rich by the early 90s onwards, how come there's only 1 bed and a pillow to be shared by 2 persons ah? Hahaha... :D

haha no choice. my guard house only have 5 beds and we have 8 RPs per shift. majority of us are temporary attached wan. at any time, 2 will be on duty, so left 6 of us. 2 will have to share bed. :)


Would It Shatter Your Illusion If This Angel Had Been Cursed?

http://shitou79.blogspot.com

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Hi marky,

You have written very touching and loving stories of brotherhood and a bit more ....enjoyed reading your stories...

How old are you? In your 40s or 30s...just want to know to get some perspective in the time frame...i am already in my early 50s

cheers

Larry : Thanks you for your compliment. I noticed there are quite a number of stories here on BW, each specializing in a different field. I do like this one by Adam... though he is way before my time, but from his writings, you get transported back to a time in S'pore's past where you'd never have experienced. My story.., well, tis just a narration of my life. ;)

Koolkai : That "pom, pom, pom..." Well... it's gotta be demonstrated using da hands... you buy me tea some day and I'd gladly give a demonstration. Kekekekeke..... :lol: Ahem, jokes aside..., you sure you don't know what it is?? :D

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I noticed that the great Gachi had converted my previous Imeen music file to Youtube intead. Maybe if it's because the bandwidth for Imeen is easily exceeded or what. If that is so, I'll source my music from Youtube in future. Whatever it is, thanks to Gachi :thumb:

Mature Chinese : I'm in my forties. Hope you'd stay around to read the rest of the story. Will take about 2 weeks to complete though :blink:

Thought I'd post another chapter now since I'd be busy tomorrow. I just realized how whiny I was back then. So before any of you start pointing out that to me, let me be the first to admit to it :P But hey, I was like that then, no point covering it up right? :lol: Haiz... listen to the next song... how many of you have the privilege to sing it to someone who's exclusively yours? If you do, be thankful. Treasure the person because not everybody has that privilege of loving and being loved...

Part 3

I'll take care of you

Don't be sad, don't be blue

I'll never break your heart in two

I'll take care of you

I'll kiss your tears away

I'll end your lonely days

All that i'm really tryin' to say

Is I'll take care of you

I want you to know that I love you so

I'm proud to tell the world you're mine

I said it before, I'll say it once more

You'll be in my heart 'til the end of time

I'll take care of you

Don't be sad, don't be blue

Just count on me your whole life through

Cause i'll take care of you... I'll Take Care Of You - Ronnie Milsap

When school started the following week, we both proudly announced to all our friends that we were buddies! We saw each other everyday, talked on the phone nightly, started sitting together at lectures, waited for one another for lunch again, jogged or swam together and even studied together outside the tutorial rooms late into the nights. Some people even commented that we looked physically like brothers. And whenever that was mentioned, I’d secretly feel very pleased and I thanked God for bestowing me with such a treasured friendship. Still I wondered if our friendship could weather any storms if it should be put to the test. It was as if fate has heard me and responded… :unsure:

It was sometime just after the Chinese New Year holidays and we were all busy preparing for our forthcoming 2nd year final exams. At the home front, I noticed my dad began to speak unintelligibly occasionally. We didn’t think much of it at first till it got worse and worse…. Then one night while our entire family were having our dinner. We noticed that dad couldn’t grip the food with his chopsticks well, and if he did, he couldn’t get it pass through his mouth. :unsure: But because we were not a closely knitted family, I didn’t know how to respond to that pathetic scene. All I knew was that I was very frighten of the unknown… :unsure:

I tried to remove that scene at the dining room from my mind by going back into my room to study. Nothing was going into my head and I became desperate. I went downstairs again to look for my mother and found her burning incense at the front porch. She grasped the joss sticks tighter and longer than was usual, and hopelessness and desperation were written all over her face. I sensed that something was very wrong. And when she was through, I approached her.

“Ma, can we talk?”

“Yes, what is it?” My mom replied in a downcast manner.

“Can we talk in my room?”

We walked quietly past the living room where my dad was watching tv and made our way up to my room. The moment I closed the door behind us, we both started to cry as if on cue....

“Ma, what’s happening to papa? Why is he behaving like that? I’m scared, you know that? I’m very scared! My exams and kpr's exams are only 2 weeks away! I can’t handle this, mummy, I really can’t study…. Is papa going to die? What is wrong with him….” I kept crying.

“I don’t know…, I really don’t know what’s happening to him either. I’m scared too…. But I’ll bring him to see the doctor tomorrow, ok? You don’t worry so much, you just concentrate on your studies ok?”

“How can I concentrate when I know something like this is happening in our family? Both elder brother and myself are still schooling and this is happening to us. Who will run papa’s business if something terrible should happen?”

“I’ll be there to take over the running of the business, ok? P… please leave the worries of such things to me, please. You just study hard and do well for your exams, ok? You promise me?”

“Only if you promise to bring papa to see the doctor as soon as possible…”

“I will….” And with that my mother dried her tears before leaving my room.

I had a personal phone in my room and I called Pat immediately.

“Hi buddy, what can I do for you?” Pat asked.

I couldn’t speak but just broke down and cried again.

“Ssshhhh, what’s wrong, buddy? Don’t cry, ssshhh….., don’t cry….. now tell me what’s wrong?”

“M... my dad; there’s something terribly wrong with him. He cannot talk properly lately and just tonight, he couldn’t even coordinate his movements… I’m scared like shit! I don’t know what’s going to happen in the weeks to come. I cannot study now and I think I might even fail my exams…” I cried again.

“Sssshhh, don’t say that! You won’t fail, ok? If you need help, I’d always be there for you, ok? And if you really fail, I’ll spend my time helping you to revise till you pass your res! You hear me? You’re my buddy and I won’t let you down, ok? Ssshhh….” Pat cooed tenderly over the phone.

Things seemed to have gotten better the next few days. Then my parents told us that our Malaysian business in KL was shifting to a bigger location and they’d be there to help in the shifting and won’t be back for about a month. We took their word for it as it was true that we had a thriving business up in KL. With my mind put at ease and with my buddy’s encouragement, I was able to concentrate on my studies and passed my 2nd year examinations. All these while, I communicated occasionally with my mother through the phone. She’d usually call at about 9pm to check on us and asked when my last paper was.

A surprise awaited me when I came home after celebrating my last paper. Seated in the living room that night was my dad. His head was cleanly shaven and there was a big bandage the size of a fist covering a part of his skull. He asked me to sit down beside him so that he could explain what has been going on those past few weeks.

We seldom had any father and son talk before and so I felt quite uncomfortable. But I was touched by what had been going on behind our backs those past few weeks. My parents had indeed gone for a medical check up and the x-ray revealed a malignant tumor inside my dad’s brain. It grew so large that it was pressing against some nerves that controlled body coordination and that explained why he couldn’t coordinate his movements a month earlier. And knowing that our studies might be affected, they had checked into Mt Elizabeth Hospital for the operation while giving the excuse that they’re actually in KL. And they stayed at the hospital thereafter till our exams were over.

I was moved by my parents’ gesture. I decided there and then to make sure I renewed my efforts in trying to get along better with them. I was determined to forget the past injustices they did to me. From now onwards, I’d try to do as they wished; anything to make them happy. And I thank God for saving my dad… Little did I realize then that this was just the start of a long struggle for me…… :unsure:

Edited by marky

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I was moved by my parents’ gesture. I decided there and then to make sure I renewed my efforts in trying to get along better with them. I was determined to forget the past injustices they did to me. From now onwards, I’d try to do as they wished; anything to make them happy. And I thank God for saving my dad… Little did I realize then that this was just the start of a long struggle for me…… :unsure:

The quest to live one's life in the pursuit of that which makes others happy while noble is often thankless, unfulfilling and more often than not extremely frustrating since it neither pleases the target party nor satisfies one's self :swear:

Having said that, if one truly wants to live such a life then there can be no looking back, no regrets no recriminations but resolutely embrace each experience joyfully and make the best of each situation - something easier said than done but not impossible. Fortitude and perseverance are your two strongest allies in this quest. I wish you the strength and good humour to shoulder what must at times seem like the most daunting of endeavours! :thumb: :clap:

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Mature Chinese : I'm in my forties. Hope you'd stay around to read the rest of the story. Will take about 2 weeks to complete though :blink:

does it mean you are no longer friends with Pat since your friendship spans over 18 years?

i so dun like sad ending

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does it mean you are no longer friends with Pat since your friendship spans over 18 years?

i so dun like sad ending

Oops, didn't update this portion since the story was previously posted elsewhere years ago. Should have been close to 22 years by now. Yups we're still good friends. Would have been doing the S'pore Biathlon together had I not been late in signing up... <_<

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Koolkai : That "pom, pom, pom..." Well... it's gotta be demonstrated using da hands... you buy me tea some day and I'd gladly give a demonstration. Kekekekeke..... :lol: Ahem, jokes aside..., you sure you don't know what it is?? :D

Hi Marky,

From your answer I guess pom,pom,pom means masturbation, am I rite.

Is this term widely, commonly used by guys and readily understood??

I hv never heard it b4, this is the first time.

So, u both engaged in mutual jo alredi in your room that nite, ?? fast work!!

I enjoy reading your story. keep going !!!

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Hi Marky,

From your answer I guess pom,pom,pom means masturbation, am I rite.

Is this term widely, commonly used by guys and readily understood??

I hv never heard it b4, this is the first time.

So, u both engaged in mutual jo alredi in your room that nite, ?? fast work!!

I enjoy reading your story. keep going !!!

So "pom, pom, pom" means masturbation? I never heard of it before? :oops: :D

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"Pom, pom" is like sounding the car horn. It is actually squeezing the groin. So imagine someone has his hands around your member and is squeezing it... "Pom, pom" is the added sound effect :D

Ok, will post next chapter in a while after editing it.... stay tuned..

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Has anybody been to St Johns island during their younger days? Is it still open to da public? I had the privilege of going there years ago... Still remember da peaceful and tranquil island. Wish I could go there again someday....

On another note, I realized after having written this story, how whiny I seemed back then. But since it did happen and things appeared that way, why conceal the fact, rite?

Part 4

Close to You

Why do birds suddenly appear,

Every time, you are near

Just like me, they long to be

Close to you

Why do stars fall down from the sky,

Ev'ry time, you walk by

Just like me, they long to be

Close to you....

With the end of our 2nd year exams came the long vacation. My buddy and I hardly get to meet. It was school vacation and a fun time for the rest but a torturous period for me. For one thing, my elder brother and I had to start working in our dad’s company immediately after our exams in preparation to take over the family business should things take a turn for the worse… and it did. A biopsy showed that the cancer cells in the brain were actually lung cells and hence the doctors suspected that the primary source of cancer was in the lungs and had spread to the brains. A 2nd series of x-rays were done and it proved to be true and another operation was performed weeks. It really took a toll on our entire family as we had to shuttle to and fro our office and the hospital (which we started to call the ‘hotel’) everyday. Adding to this, I got bullied by my elder brother into doing lots of demeaning tasks, which he personally wouldn’t do. :unsure:

My social life came to a halt because I’d only get to reach home way past 10pm every night and I spent the weekends either sleeping or working to help modernize some of the company’s operation. The only source of comfort I had were the late night calls my buddy and I had. It kept me going and sustained me through that difficult and painful period. It was the only thing worth looking forward to then…

“Hi…” I’d frown.

“Wah, how come you sound so moody again? How’s your dad?”

“I don’t know… I was there at 8pm and before I could even enter the room, my elder brother pushed me out and shouted that dad was coughing violently because I spread my flu to him… that the coughing was aggravating the wound on his chest where he had the lung operation… And that was in front of all our office staff… And what a fake act he was putting on; we all knew he hated my dad very much. I don't know what he was trying to prove…”

“Then what happened?”

“Then he locked me out! And all our staffs were in the room except me. So what can I do but come home….”

“Never mind lah, it’s over liao, ok? We talk about happier things?”

“I can foresee a lot of problems are going to crop up next year when I really work there…” I started crying softly.

“Shh… you ok?”

"I don't want to spend the rest of my life under my brother's subjugation… I need to break free and go elsewhere where I don't have to under his and my dad's tyranny…"

"Sshh… maybe he'll change when he enters the working world…"

“I don't think so… Just 2 nights ago, he made me go down to Metro Far East late in the evening to do price tagging for some merchandise. I spent almost 2 hours there. This is actually the job of our promoters but he insisted that I go down instead. So can you imagine myself wearing a tie and reporting to the sales supervisor telling her I'm there to do price tagging… And he himself was out that night with his girlfriend… Buddy, I can’t take this shit anymore! I really can’t! I kept getting heart palpitations and just last night I vomited acid in the middle of the night because of my gastric problems….” I cried again.

“Ai yo…, I told you to have regular meals liao. Have you eaten?”

“No…”

“I’ll drive over now! We’ll go to your Adam Road hawker center ok?”

“No, I don’t feel like eating… I wanna sleep as early as possible; it’s another long day tomorrow…”

“Then you promise to take care of yourself, ok? You’re very thin, you know?”

“And you promise you’ll always be available when I want to talk…”

“Yes, I promise….”

"I really mean it, you know. I've been feeling very lonely and moody these few months. I feel my life is not mine anymore; that I'm just needed to help in dad's company.., to serve his company, that's all. I'm not even allowed to go out on Sundays... Just last night, I thought of slitting my left wrist…"

"DON'T EVER DO THAT YOU HEAR ME!!?" Pat suddenly raised his voice in alarm.

I didn't reply him; I broke down and cried again….

"Listen Mark, don't ever entertain such thoughts again, ok? Nobody knows what the future will be like. Maybe your dad and elder brother will be different after you guys go through this family crisis together… You still there??…"

"You'll never understand what I'm going through if you're not born into a family like mine. You will even look down upon me and think I'm very petty and foul mouthed because I never have anything good to say about my own family…."

"Come on, I never said such things…"

"You don't have to say anything; I can sense it. Every time I mention something critical about them, you'd only keep quiet and I'd feel totally disgusted with myself later on… I don't like to bad mouth anyone, but I can't lie that everything's well when it is not either... But think for one second what could possibly drive a young adult to rather give up his life than to see the bright prospects ahead.... "

"I keep quiet because I shouldn't be taking sides. Furthermore, I think it is my duty to mend the rifts in your family rather than encourage it, you know where I'm coming from?"

"Mmm…"

"I… I care for you, ok? We're buddies, remember? Through thick and thin, right?"

"Mm..."

Just before the vacation came to an end, our gang decided to book a chalet on St John’s Island. Almost everybody went. I even managed to persuade my dad to let me have 3 days off and it was granted. My dad had already been discharged from hospital by then and had resumed working.

St_John_Pic.jpg

I don’t know what the island looked like today but back about 19 years ago, it was a sleepy rustic island with some pesky peacocks roaming freely about the island. These birds were owned by the island warden and were a gift from the Jurong Bird Park.

StJohnsIsland.jpg

We were having fun in the lagoon late one morning. Someone had brought along an inflatable 2-seater rubber dinghy and we started to have a friendly contest to see which two would be able to get into the dinghy. So there we were, grabbing, pushing and shoveling each other out of the way. Pat managed to climb on top and started pushing anyone else who tried to climb in. To my surprise, he searched for me among the sea of hands and bodies… :)

“Hey Mark! Grab hold of my arms, I’ll pull you up! Quick!”

I managed to reach out to him was pulled onto the boat and the two of us congratulated each other on our fortune.

“Eh, unfair! How come no one pull me up?” One by one our friends started asking. I couldn’t be bothered for I was on cloud nine.

“Ai ya, you not his buddy what…” Another added.

“Ah hah! Patrick never play fair, let’s pull him down!!” Another suggested and suddenly everyone started grabbing at Patrick.

As mentioned before, Patrick had a nice lean and tone body much like a Thai construction worker and it wasn’t surprising that most people would want to find an excuse to touch that exquisite body of his.

“Oh no you won’t! I’m here for my buddy too!!” I shouted and held on to Pat’s slim waist from behind to prevent him from being pulled into the waters. That was the very first time I held his body so tightly, and his wet skin and sinewy body caused a stirring in my groin…

“Eh, you guys play fair leh. Play games where got buddy help buddy one? You guys are like husband and wife leh… eeeekkkss!!” One of them started saying.

“Ya what, you jealous izzit? Mark is my wife leh….” Pat started boasting.

“Eh, excuse me? I’m not your wife ok? I’m your husband!” I countered.

“Ya rite! We’ll see who’s the real husband tonight!” Pat rebutted.

“No need. We’d see who is the real man now!!!” And with that, I locked my hands behind his neck with his arms suspended in the air and using my body weight, I forced both of us down on the cramped floor of the dinghy with Pat lying to top on me.

“Hey guys, put sand into Pat’s trunks!!!” I encouraged everybody much to their delight.

“Hey nooo…, don’t do that!! Nooo…” Pat started hollering. And soon sand was overflowing from his skimpy trunks.

“Hey take it out! Quick take it out! I don’t want some stray hermit crab to bite me down there!!!” Pat hollered again.

“Ok, you guys did the damage so you’d remove the sand as well.” I ordered.

“Nah, we don’t want to touch his thing! You do it since you’re his wife!”

“Eh, I already said I’m the husband, ok?”

“Ok, ok, husband, quick remove the sand from my trunks!!!!” Pat pleaded.

“You stop fidgeting and I’ll remove them for you!” And so we leaned against the side of the boat with Pat still leaning on top of me. I peered through over his shoulders and gingerly started scooping the sand out of his trunks.

“There, you see, I can be a loving husband! See how gentle I can be?” I grinned at him as I continued my task. Occasionally, I’d purposely touch his soft member to get a thrill out of it.

It must have been boring for the others to watch and it was also way past lunch time by then so the rest left immediately for the chalet to prepare the meal. Pat and I were left behind to clean the mess and deflate the boat. The scorching sun had by then blessed us with lovely shades of tan. Pat looked stunning with the sunlight casting a radiant glow on his healthy taut body.

“Ermm, sorry about just now, ok? I don’t mean to betray you, ok?” I mentioned softly. :oops:

“It’s ok lah, I kinda enjoyed every moment of it.”

“Huh? You did??” :huh:

Pat didn’t reply. He just grinned at me as we slowly made our way back to the chalet to join the rest for lunch....

Edited by marky

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Guest go marky
Has anybody been to St Johns island during their younger days? Is it still open to da public? I had the privilege of going there years ago... Still remember da peaceful and tranquil island. Wish I could go there again someday

I am going to St Johns Island this CNY for a getaway. =)

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weren't you guy swimming ard?

could have easily jus got back into the water and the sand can be shaken off.

and he could've have done it on his own..

why ask you to help him scoop it out?

i smell something fishy here...

ahahahaha like he wants you to touch his lil bro.

ahahahahahahaha

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KLC : You got a point there... it didn't occur to me back then that Pat wanted someone to pamper his little bro :lol:

Ok guys, word of caution, this chapter has some R rated portions. Those easily offended by gay materials... the 'Backspace' key is only a click away... :)

Part 5

We had a simple BBQ diner that night. The only meat was chicken and Pat provided it courtesy of his parents who were in the wholesale poultry business. For some unknown reason, the chicken meat was extremely tough. I started to call them ‘bodybuilder chickens’ since they seemed so tough and sinewy like Pat himself. The term caught on and everybody started teasing him about it too.

chicken.jpg

“Eh, eat the chicken leh, tough also must help to finish mah...” Pat offered me some.

“You know I eat very little meat wan..”

“You better fatten up! People put on weight during the holidays and you’re the only one I know who lost! Come I feed you….”

“Orrr…” I opened my mouth to take in a piece of the leather His face was still glowing from basking in the sun that morning. My heart started beating a little faster...

The activities of the day had worn most of us down. Most of us were ready to retire by 11pm that night. There was only one little problem; there was only one queen-size bed in the entire chalet.

“Ai ya, let Mark sleep on it lor, don’t think he can tahan sleeping on the floor wan…” Somebody started sliming me.

“No lah, don't say until like dat leh... let’s draw lots, ok?” I offered.

“No need lah, and we’ll also let Patrick sleep on the bed too, ok? We are very chee tong wan…”

“Ok lor, anybody else wants to join in? It should be able to accommodate another person.” I guess I needed to make the offer to avoid any suspicion.

“Ok, I’ll take the right side!” One of our big-sized friends said and hurriedly staked his claim on that side of the bed.

“And I’ll take the other side!!” Patrick quickly joined in.

“Hey! I don’t want to sleep in the center! Cannot turn about!!” I protested.

“Shuddup, small boy!”

“Assholes!!” I retaliated.

Since that room was the only one with an air conditioner, everybody cramped in and slept in any available space on the floor. Soon all were snoring away…

It was indeed difficult to manoeuvre about when you’re stuck in the centre like a hot dog and I could hardly sleep. I turned over to Pat and he also turned to face me; our faces were so closed I could see my own reflection in his eyes….

“Cannot sleep, huh?” Pat whispered. :unsure:

“How to? This is worse than sleeping on the floor…” I whispered back. <_<

“We’ll tok lor…” And that night, Pat shared with me about his family. Apparently he also felt neglected and unwanted by his parents. He shared about how his mother would buy clothes for the elder and younger brothers and telling them not to share it with him because he was ugly…. and how he overheard that and started crying till his mother had to apologize…. He also mentioned how he used to help his parents deliver eggs to their customers after school hours. Quite a number of their customers were night club operators and that they would occasionally grab at his crotch as he walk passed them in the kitchen…

He also related another incident which happened when he was in secondaries... He had just finished helping his mother at the wet market and was getting ready to meet up with his friends for a swim at the nearby public pool. Some old man beckoned him to go into the public toilet at the market. Pat claimed that he was somehow mesmerized into walking into the toilet as directed. There in the toilet, the old man used a dirty and smelly rag to gag him, pulled his shorts down and tried to penetrate him. Although the pervert didn't succeed in penetrating him, it caused that area to bleed. Pat said he felt dazed the entire day after that incident...

It was 1.30am and we were still not sleeping. This time, we shared about our army encounters… I shared about my incident with Peter and how he overpowered me and masturbated me. Pat related something much worse… He said he was performing weekend duty as a medic in the sickbay when 2 mortar men who were confined there that weekend vented their frustration on him. They pounced on him, laid him on the bed, stripped him, and while one grabbed him from behind by the neck, covered his mouth with a piece of rag to muffle his cries while furiously masturbating him, the other mortar man would sit on his legs to prevent them from kicking about and started masturbating himself, wanting to spill his dirty load on his body…

“Did they managed to make you shoot out?” I asked anxiously.

“No, but I almost fainted from the strangulation. And the other guy shot all over my body...”

“Damn it! If I were there, I would have gone to your rescue! What happened after that?”

“They apologized and threw my t-shirt over my body for me to clean up the mess with. They asked me not to take it to heart as they just wanted some fun…” Pat whispered again ever so softly.

“Gosh, that was some sick fun they had at your expense…” A certain cold and inexplicable sour feeling started to grip my heart. What I saw before me wasn’t a strong and confident guy I thought I’ve always known. Pat had shared a part of himself that hitherto has never been revealed to anyone. He had allowed himself to be peeled layer by layer like an onion as he bared his soul and in the process exposing his vulnerability…

“I’ll protect you in future, ok? You alright now?” I asked.

“I guess so, but I think it has affected me permanently in certain ways….”

“Like how?”

“Like err…, I ermm…, oh never mind lah. Shall we get some sleep? It’s very late liao…”

“Ok, good night buddy.”

“Ya, good night….”

Patrick needn’t tell me anything. And our feelings for each other was mutual. We have found love in each other that night and that’s enough for me. We’ve stirred the fire within us and allowed it to enfold us with its endearing warmth. Only time will tell if our special friendship can withstand the test of time and pressure of society…...

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Hmmm, seem to have a problem logging onto this site lately, the pc keeps hanging so I couldn't post a chapter yesterday. Anyway, dis is a short chapter. Da significance of dis chapter is just to convey how we got around calling each other korkor and boy boy. Has anyone been called dat before? It was nice for me to be able to call someone else that because I never had one whom I could even talk to back then...

In case you're wondering why the music is at times in mandarin and english at other times..., remember Pat comes from a chinese school while I came from an english school? Hahaha...

Part 6

情非得已

難以忘記初次見你 一雙迷人的眼睛

在我腦海裡 你的身影 揮散不去

握你的雙手感覺你的溫柔 真的有點透不過氣

你的天真 我想珍惜 看到你傷心我會失意

只怕我自己會愛上你 不敢讓自己靠的太近

怕我沒什麼能夠給你 愛你也需要很大的勇氣

只怕我自己會愛上你 也許有天會情不自禁

想念只讓自己苦了自己 愛上你是我情非得已...

Our third year in campus was a specially hectic one for all of us. We saw less of each other as we had opted for different electives. Pat majored in Finance while I opted for Marketing. Other than the differences in tutorial and lecture schedules, we still met for meals and studied together after classes. Our friendship was still strong and we were still very much buddies. And our bond became even closer and stronger after a strange incident…

It was late one evening in campus and Patrick & I were revising our work on one of those BBQ benches in the basement of SM2 where the tutorial classrooms are. Not a soul was in sight as it was too late to catch the last bus. From a distant, a scruffy old man walked towards us. Pat's attention was instinctively alerted like a well trained Doberman as he scrutinized every step the old man took. I on the other hand couldn't be bothered. After the old man walked quite a distant past behind my back, Pat looked at me with furrowed brows. :blink:

"Why didn't you turn back and look at the old man when he passed you by?" Pat questioned me.

"Huh? Must I? Whatever for?" :unsure:

"Whatever for!!?? What if he had a weapon on him and wanted to harm you!? Don't you have any survival instincts at all?"

"Heh, he should know better than to rob students…" I chuckled still unaware of what Pat was trying to say.

"I'm not talking about money! What if he was crazy and wanted to harm you? Don't you even care!? Listen, I don't want anything to happen to you, ok? I treasure you a lot!" Pat was getting a little edgy by now.

There was silence again save for the cricket overtures in the background at this time of the night. I sat there just staring intensely at Patrick and suddenly, I was overwhelmed by my emotions that tears started to swell in my eyes. I closed my eyes and my body started shaking uncontrollably in response to my silent sobbing…

"Oh dear, Mark, I don't mean to be so harsh on you…, I meant it for your own good… Don't cry, ok? Please…" Pat toned down; he was surprised by my unexpected response. And he came over to my side of the bench and put his arms around my shoulders. “Sshhh, I’m sorry, ok? I’m really sorry…. Ssshhh…”

"I'm not crying because you scolded me…; I'm crying b… because I never felt so loved or cared for before…. My family doesn't care if I live or die, and my elder brother always beats me up over little things… Why do you think I seldom talk about them…" I con't crying.

"Ssshhh, we'll drop the subject, ok? Don't cry…" Pat cooed into my ears.

"No, I won't drop the subject. You shared with me about your relationship with your family during the St John Island trip; it’s my turn to share about mine! It's about time you get to know everything about me! I'm a nobody in my family! I have to give way to both my elder brother and my younger brother all the time! Those two get away with lots of things but my parents always come down hard on me! Do you know how many times I've contemplated suicide!??"

"Oh dear, your parents can't be that bad…"

"Wanna bet?" I cut in again and flipped back my fringe to expose my forehead to Pat. "Look here! It’s not possible that you haven’t noticed my deformed forehead, rite? Do you want to know how I got it? It’s because my elder brother beat me up once when I was 5 years old and I started crying very loudly. My dad was annoyed by my incessant crying and instead of disciplining my brother for beating me, he got violent and started caning me. He even smashed my head against the wall many times until I became unconscious! I had to spend Christmas in hospital with my legs and hands bandaged and suspended in the air! And there was this other big bandage around my forehead too! That's probably why the shape of my forehead has become what it is today! And my parents thought they could brainwash me by telling me my maid was the one who did that after I regained consciousness in hospital. What kind of fxxked up parents I have nobody will ever believe… An…and everybody t.. thinks I'm some spoilt rich brat when they don't even know the true picture of what I’m facing at home..." I continued crying.

"Sshhh, I understand, ok? I really do…”

“I really dread to think I’ll have to work in the family business once I graduate. The three months there during the last vacation was a torture already. You remember those days when I succumbed to gastric pains, don’t you?”

"Sshhh, I remember and I believe you, ok? I really do… Ssshhh, go ahead and let it all out…, ssshhh, sssshhhh, it's ok now…., I'm here for you…." Pat held me tight in his arms as he whispered softly again into my ears.

We sat there for the next 15mins or so indulging in the serenity of the night till I finally regained my composure.

“Feeling better?” Pat asked after a while.

“Mmm…” I nodded as I blew my nose.

"Say, how would you like it if I were to become your elder brother? Wouldn't that be nice?"

"Really? That would be great! But you must not bully me or beat me up like my real brother does, promise?" I was ecstatic at the proposal.

"Promise! I'll take care of you from now onwards! And I won't let anybody lay a hand on you!" Pat declared.

"Kor korrrr, can I call you that?" I beamed.

"Up to you lor. And I'll call you di…, erm… on second thoughts, no; I'll call you boy boy instead!"

"Why?"

"Cos boy boy sounds cuter mah and you'll always be a boy boy in my eyes…"

"Kor kor…" I whispered softly and melodiously.

"Yes?"

"Nothing, just want to you to know I'm the happiest person in this world right now, ok Kor?" :D

"Ok, boy boy" Pat chuckled in amusement as he patted me on my head. And from that night onwards, we became brothers to each other… :)

Edited by marky

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Guest merck008

Hi Marky, it's really nice to see you back here posting your stories. If I'm not wrong you started posting here 10 years ago on the old BW forum under Sotong. I sorta missed your posts when you migrated to another forum. These life stories - Peter and Patrick, I have read on other forum in, if my memory serves well, 2001. To this day, I still love these stories. I don't know why I have been so enamoured by them. Maybe I project myself on you in the stories that I wish, had happened to me. Stuff like this hasn't happened to me because I'm so damn straight acting. By the way I'm bi.

I am glad you are sharing them again on this new BW forum and certainly glad to see you here again. Thanks!

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merck008 : hi there, you are right! I'm back cos BW these days is better organized, moderated and regulated :clap: maybe I'll post some other stories that were not posted here back then. Yeah, these 2 stories were like posted years ago, thought it would be nice to give them a good dusting and airing since there are always new comers to this circle. But the best part is the stories now comes with hyperlinks, music and graphics. Kekekeke... :lol:

guest : Luv ya too! Stick around till the end ya?

Larry : You are right, there are many good writers in this forum. You are one of them :D

For some reason or other, my next chapter is missing even though I posted it last evening at 7.30pm! :ph34r: And that was after much editing. :blink: Anyway here it is again.... This chapter contains graphic scenes.. if anyone has the urge to be a wet blanket, just click the backspace key to save yourself the miseries, okie? Happy reading...

Part 7 (Right click here)

It was about mid-September during our final year, we decided together with 2 other friends, Hong and Chong, to get a house nearby campus so that we may study thru the night without our parents bothering us with their incessant naggings and bitter medicinal brews… ;)

We had first opted to stay in the campus hostels but they were all fully booked. Luck however was still on our side. We managed to rent a large UDMC terrace house at nearby Sussex Estate for $800/mth.

Sussex2.jpg

The estate had since been torn down about 6 years ago. It was a nice cozy pre-war building with a large compound. A large Angsana tree shielded the house from the midday sun and hence the interior remained cool the entire day. Level two comprised of 3 rooms. The four of us decided to take up only two of the rooms and managed to rent out the 3rd to a working bachelor, Daniel.

Sussex3.jpg

We charged him $300 for his room while we paid $250 each for the other 2 rooms. This guy was weird, really weird. He was at least 10 yrs our senior and he claimed he preferred not to stay with his parents as they didn’t quite get along. Daniel would leave the house very early in the mornings and only came back at about 7pm. The door to his room was always locked and I never had the opportunity to even peep inside! In some ways, we all considered him a miser because whenever he came home and sees us having dinner, he'd linger around the dining table long enough till we got the hint and set a place for him. Boy did we quietly complained amongst ourselves often then as we were students and living on a tight budget and we really hated that slob's attitude. Never once did he offer to buy food for us. <_<

The moment we got the keys to the house, it was time to decide whom should share the same room. We needn’t say anything as our other friends had decided for us that Kor and I would share the same room. When we heard that, we were both secretly happy and excited with the arrangement. This was a chance for us to live life like a real couple! We even drew lots and managed to get the bigger room which opens out to a lovely spacious balcony that overlooked the garden. :)

We took whatever we can from our houses to furnish our little room which would be our ‘home’ for the next half a year. Kor supplied the mattress, mini-compo and tv while I contributed the CDs, pillows, full length mirror, box fan, chairs and study table. Kor even supplied old curtains materials which we would use as blankets!! There were also the frills which I contributed like a worn out carpet which made the room more homely and cozy. There, everything seemed so perfect and we were excited at the prospect of finally being able to spend our lives together :)

Night fell and we all went straight home after having dinner in campus. All of us were just too excited about going back to a place we could really call our own. We spent a good part of the evening cleaning the living room, kitchen and all the windows because that lazy bum of a Daniel insisted he should be spared from doing so since he paid more for his room. <_<

It was closed to 11pm by the time the last bits of dust were wiped off the window panes and the interior looked like it had been given a new lease of life. The living area was bare, safe for a large dining table, some chairs and two naked light bulbs dangling from different parts of the ceiling. Tired and aching from all that chores, we all decided to retire early for the night.

We had a quick shower and the lights were soon switched off. And we laid on the mattress on the floor clad only in our jogging shorts…

“I hear some people say that you’re interested in that Dorraine from Marketing Communications… is it true?” Kor enquired.

“Ya lor, but she said there’s another guy going after her too. You know that SAF scholar who has a twin brother in Science Faculty? Dunno got chance or not, he is better built than me leh…”

“Ermm…, when you say you like her, what does that mean? You mean you want to have sex with her or what?” Kor seemed to ask the most innocent questions or was he playing games with me…. :rolleyes:

“Of course not! It’s difficult to explain but you just have this fluttering in your heart and you just wanna spend time with her.” I played along. :whistle:

“So what would you do if you get to spend time with her?”

“Erm.., I’d bring her to the beach I suppose…” :whistle:

“And then?”

“Hug her from behind and admire the stars in the sky, I guess…” And there was a momentary silence… <_<

“Ermm.., this may sound weird but would you care to show me how you’d do it… erm, you don’t mind, do you?” Kor finally managed softly. :rolleyes:

“Errr…, ok, I’ll show you how I might do it.” I got Kor to sit up with his back facing me and I hugged him from behind. Kor’s body was smooth and warm, and I was instantly aroused. It was feeling I have not felt for almost 3 years after my departure from the army. I had experienced a lot with my army buddy, Peter, then and I hoped I could show Kor this night how much more I knew of the birds and the bees than he did. ;)

Time almost came to a standstill as we sat there with me hugging him from behind and slowly rocking in rhythm. Neither one of us wanted that moment to end.

“Erm.., would you dare kiss her?” Kor went on again after a while.

“Of course I would. I’d kiss anyone I loved!” I boasted.

“I’ve never experienced a kiss before… do you dare show me how it is done?”

“Er…” I was now surprised by his frank request.

“Oh never mind, just forget I ever asked…”

“Oh no, I don’t mind, Kor. I want to show you….” :D

I turned him over and we frenched. For someone who was inexperience, Kor was actually quite a good kisser. We soon fell back on the mattress and kissed for what seemed like the longest time. Our hands seemed to have taken on a life of their own too and started running up and down each other’s back and exploring the ridges and contours of our naked bodies.

We broke the kiss after a while to catch our breath; neither one of us seemed to feel the slightest guilt over what had just happened. And we were perspiring profusely from the sexual tension being generated.

“Was that good, Kor?” I asked softly.

“You really are a good kisser.”

“Yeah, I learnt from the best…” And there was silence again…

“Small request, can?”

“What, Kor?”

“Can I kiss you little brother?” :blink:

“Er…, yeah sure, why not.”

Kor gently removed my shorts and underwear and folded them neatly, placed them next to our mattress before taking in my manhood which was erect by then. I had never experienced such a sensation before in my entire life. The feeling of a warm and moist mouth engulfing my member was exhilarating and sent countless quivering sensations through my entire body and within minutes I was on the verge of climaxing.

“Kor, it’s coming out, kor….” I uttered softly.

Kor removed his mouth from my manhood and gave it a few firm strokes with his right hand and out gushed a small stream of the sacred milk onto my stomach. I closed my eyes to rest from the session. There was this momentarily sensation like my strength had just been drained from my body. Kor crept up to me and asked if I enjoyed the sensation.

“Yes, it was fantastic… I’ve never felt anything like that before…” I replied.

“Glad you liked it…”

“Kor…”

“Yes?”

“My turn to ask a favor, can?”

“Anything for you..”

“I’ve never seen another person’s sperms before. Can you show me yours?” :oops:

That request sounded so dumb on hindsight then but Kor readily acceded to it. I helped him removed his shorts and underwear and out sprang his manhood. It was a handsome piece of meat and I got down to work on it diligently. But since I was inexperience, he took over after a short while. <_<

“It’s coming soon.., hug and kiss me again boy …”

I hugged Kor tightly and kissed him deeply and soon I could feel his body tighten and curled as he held on to me tightly with his other arm. And it was soon over, he let out a soft yelp, and he too fell backwards gently onto the mattress and closed his eyes to rest a while.

I put on my glasses and got up from the mattress to switch the room light on. Kor’s right arm shielded his eyes from the sudden brightness. He was still heaving gently from the session we had. His body glistened under the bright incandescent light and all his muscles and sinews were clearly visible. A milky white trail on his torso showed where his seeds had spilled and I scooped some up for close scrutiny; I finally had Kor Kor’s precious seeds in my hands…

I took out a roll of toilet paper to clean Kor up before switching the lights off and snuggled together once again.

“Thanks, Kor…” I whispered again into his ear.

“No, I should thank you instead…” Kor replied dreamily; he had tasted paradise that night. :)

“Kor…” I called out to him again after a while.

“Yes, boy boy?”

“I love you, Kor. I love you very much…” :)

“I love you too, boy.…”

Edited by marky

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We're just halfway thru my story. But I don't want my story to end on or the eve of Chinese New Year. So I'm going to speed up the story a little

Part 8

Looking through the Eyes of Love (Right click here)

Please don't let this feeling end

It's everything I am

Everything I want to be.

I can see what's mine now,

Finding out what's true since

I found you

Looking through the eyes of love.

And now, I can take the time

I can see my life

As it comes up shining now

Reaching out to touch you

I can feel so much

Since I found you

Looking through the eyes of love.

And now I do believe

That even in the storm

We'll find some light

Knowing you're beside me

I'm all right.

Please don't let this feeling end

It might not come again

And I want to remember

How it feels to touch you

How I feel so much

Since I found you

Looking through the eyes of love…

That night was the first time we made love. I can still remember the details so well even to this day. Guess what people say about your first love is so true... It was also the start of many beautiful things to come. In Kor Kor I found a sense of completeness and fulfillment. And I thank God for blessing me with such a treasured bosom friend as Kor. In my eyes, Kor was perfect in every way; he was handsome and had a nice physique. He was gentle in his mannerism and was ever helpful to anyone who needed help. I’ve always wondered what he ever saw in me and what made me deserving of him. But I was forever thankful that of all the people Kor could have chosen as his closest friend, he chose me above everyone else!! :oops: As it is, it is difficult to find someone you'd really like. Even more difficult is for that person to like you in return; and I was thankful that our friendship was mutual. :)

We became even closer after that night. I guess Hong and Chong sensed something was different too but no one bothered to pursue the matter. These days, we no longer stayed back late in campus anymore; there was no need to when there's a nice cozy table in our balcony that overlooked a lovely garden. :) We’d drive home after our last tutorials to continue with our revision. If time permitted, I’d cook dinner for Kor and when it didn’t, we’d walk to the nearby coffee shops in Clementi for a simple dinner. Sometimes when the urge came really strong halfway through our revision at the balcony, we’d get back into the room, close the balcony door, draw the curtains and have a good, long and therapeutic romp… ;) Then we’d hit the books again and when either one of us starts caressing the other’s legs with our toes again, we’d once more close the balcony door and draw the curtains…. :blink:

We really lived life like a married couple then. Kor Kor would make the bed every morning while I tidy the rest of the room. And we’d put on clothes for each other in front of our full length mirror. We’d even make sure we both looked neat and immaculate before leaving the room. :thumb:

And even though we're now living together, we still could never get enough of each other. When we're out with our mutual friends, neither one of us would really be enjoying ourselves. We just wanted to be home fast so that we could spend time together by ourselves. It seemed like he was all I'd ever need and vice versa. There were times when Kor had to go home in the middle of the week to get some extra clothes and such, I would actually miss him very much during those few hours of his absence! We'd kiss and hug each other tightly before he left and while he's gone, I'd take out his used underwear and clutch it tightly in my hand while pining for his return. :oops:

Kor also helped me improve on my mandarin. His method of instruction was through a Chinese comic known as Xiao Ding Dang (小丁铛)

Doraemon.gif

Some of you might know the comic character better as Doraemon in Japanese. Every night, Kor would read an episode and also explained the difficult words to me. He showed me there were moral values to learn even from such comic books. I now have a few of the comic books with me. And even right now as I open up the comic to read, I’d still think of those good old days when Kor would read to me before bedtime…

And we're very protective of each other too. When we had to cross busy roads, we'd even help each other look out for on-coming traffic. Sometimes we even held each other's hands when crossing busy roads. :oops: The truth was neither one of us were conscious then of the implication of such gesture. There was also this particular incident which took place one evening at about 5pm back in our house. We were revising our work when there was a knock on the door to the house. Somebody who looked like a Thai construction worker was at our door and Kor went down to attend to him while I watched from our room window upstairs

Kor opened the door and went out to find out what he wanted and he stayed out there for a good 5 mins. :unsure:

"Kor! Why did you walk out of the house!?" I asked anxiously.

"That guy was looking for a particular address in Clementi and I had to show him the way lor.."

"But how could you step out of the house!? What if he was eyeing you all these while and he decide to grab you down there and take advantage of you!?"

"Please lah, that's the most ridiculous thing I've heard, heh.." <_<

"I'm serious! You look just like his kind and that makes it even more tempting!"

"Erm.., you're joking, rite?

I surged forward and embrace Kor Kor tightly, not wanting to let go.

"Kor, I was so worried just now. I really was. You didn't need to step out of the house just now…" I whispered into his ears.

"Then? Ask him to come in izzit? Then YOU sure kena grab down there instead!!"

"No!! If he tried to be funny, then we will both grab him down there!!!!" :lol:

And we both laughed at my suggestion.

The idea of dating never really came across our minds since we were living together. We seemed quite contented with our life being confined within the 4 walls of our home. One day however, I suggested to Kor that we should go back to West Coast Park for a jog; we have not done that for a long time. So one evening after our last tutorial, we both walked to the park.

WestCoastSunset.jpg

There was a little known beach beyond the clusters of trees planted long the fringe of the park back then. Today however, the scenic beach is gone and what you see instead is the huge Pasir Panjang Container Terminal instead. However, it was special to us back then because we could see little islands in the horizon and the width of the beach can get quite narrow during high tides. We were there to catch the sunset that evening. We found a cozy spot to plunk ourselves down and held hands discreetly while watching the sun setting in the horizon. Then we kept repeating those 3 words, 'I love you' to each other. :oops:

"We never got each other anything before hor?" Kor said.

"No need lah, we have each other mah. That's more than I can ever ask from you."

"Let's exchange photos then." Kor suggested. (neoprints didn't exist then)

"I don't have any pics of myself…, I don't like to take pictures…"

"Ya, I noticed that. Why ah?"

"Don't think I'm good looking…"

"Don't bluff."

"It's true. I don't even have many pics of my growing up years… remember my forehead??"

"Ok, never mind. I give you a picture of myself first, ok?" Kor then handed me a photograph. He said that someone from his marketing group had brought a camera to class the previous week to take snap shots for a project and they ended up taking pictures of one another in order to finish the roll of negative.

I took a good look at the picture Kor handed me. It was a very nice solo shot of him sitting on one of those BBQ benches outside the tutorial rooms.

"Thanks, Kor. I'll give you mine if ever I get my hands on a camera.. And I'll always treasure this gift from you…" And I kept my word; I had that photograph with me till the year 2003…. :)

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