I told my relatives I'm not receiving visitors to my home

[Guest CNY]

Unfortunately they didn't take it well.  Why people can't accept boundaries ya?

[passinthenight]

Maybe you should just rephrase it to 'you just want some ME TIME. same same only different.

[Guest Intention]

Your speech style revealed your intention is to be harsh, as your topic implied, and you succeeded in offending people.

 

Most of the time, visitors won't come to see you if you have an odd, distant, or antagonistic relationship with them. As such, you don't have to worry much under this circumstances.   However, If your relatives wanted to come visit,  it indicates that you guys are still getting along quite well?

 

[Ironrod]

4 hours ago, Guest CNY said:

Unfortunately they didn't take it well.  Why people can't accept boundaries ya?

 

It's just once a year and you can't even be gracious. It shows how self-centred you are. Have u ever wonder why some old ppl does not have any relatives or love ones to help them when they are in need especially dementia etc? because they only think for themselves till the end nobody even bother to care if they are dead or alive.

[Steve5380]

There should be other more civil ways to scare away unwanted visitors.

[Guest guest]

You should tell them you are away for holiday, so no need to come. Or you are sick or get covid, so cannot receive visitors.

[Guest Stupid]

1 hour ago, Ironrod said:

 

It's just once a year and you can't even be gracious. It shows how self-centred you are. Have u ever wonder why some old ppl does not have any relatives or love ones to help them when they are in need especially dementia etc? because they only think for themselves till the end nobody even bother to care if they are dead or alive.

 

So pretentious. You call yourself relatives but never visit any other time except cny. 

 

Uh so you're logic is that you're nice to relatives just so they will be nice to you when you need their help... 

 

That's more self centered and selfish lo. 

[Ironrod]

1 hour ago, Guest Stupid said:

 

So pretentious. You call yourself relatives but never visit any other time except cny. 

 

Uh so you're logic is that you're nice to relatives just so they will be nice to you when you need their help... 

 

That's more self centered and selfish lo. 

 

I guess u are really stupid. Treat others how u like to be treated. This is basic manners. Anyways, I normally don't reply guest but you are stupid, so i will excuse you.

[robin]

There is nothing wrong to not accept visitors during CNY if you just need that ‘me time’ or those relatives are just not worth entertaining.  Great job to your courage to convey your desire! 👍 

 

Like TS, I also did not open up my place for visitations. For those who could not understand why, maybe I have less perfect relatives who just want a free meal, want to keep in touch to borrow money & others, who want to show their new in-laws that they have family members who stay in private housing. I just don’t want to waste my time on these people. 
 

Pretty glad I have had a peaceful CNY this year!

Edited February 2, 2023 by robin

[jason]

Just say going for holidays will do. Lol

[Guest Holding my nose]

8 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

There should be other more civil ways to scare away unwanted visitors.

Like not taking a bath for months?

[Guest Insect relative]

I told Bernie she's a pesky fly Wu ying and I'll spray Bygone at her.

[Guest Bernie is an insect 🐝]

2 hours ago, robin said:

There is nothing wrong to not accept visitors during CNY if you just need that ‘me time’ or those relatives are just not worth entertaining.  Great job to your courage to convey your desire! 👍 

 

Like TS, I also did not open up my place for visitations. For those who could not understand why, maybe I have less perfect relatives who just want a free meal, want to keep in touch to borrow money & others, who want to show their new in-laws that they have family members who stay in private housing. I just don’t want to waste my time on these people. 
 

Pretty glad I have had a peaceful CNY this year!

Don't nother. Full stop 👋👋👋

[singalion]

I assume his relatives are in joy following his decision as they don't need to hand out any ang paos to a 60y old non married relative... and can save the money...

 

 

[Guest Street Smart Boy]

7 hours ago, Ironrod said:

 

I guess u are really stupid. Treat others how u like to be treated. This is basic manners. Anyways, I normally don't reply guest but you are stupid, so i will excuse you.

Don't make hasty judgments. He's undoubtedly had a few "fright moments" before from those visitors. I am among those who have used a broom to drive away unwanted and possessive relatives who just serve to cause difficulty rather than bring something stimulating. Not everyone is like you, who so readily entertain every Tom Dick and Harry and then get angry when things don't go your way...and then, you are glad to use your frequent catchphrase in this forum, "self-centered," to describe them. Spare us your phony sanctimonious viewpoint and give us a break.

 

Please don't reply since I am "a guest" too.  

[radiusulnar]

I go visiting so no need for anyone to trouble themselves visiting me

[Guest Heed ur own bullshit advic]

9 hours ago, Ironrod said:

 

I guess u are really stupid. Treat others how u like to be treated. This is basic manners. Anyways, I normally don't reply guest but you are stupid, so i will excuse you.

 

That's precisely what the other person is doing. He doesn't want to visit his relatives. So he doesn't want his relatives to visit. 

 

He is testing others how they wants to be treated. 

 

How dumb can you be? 

 

If you don't want to talk to stupid guest 

Then don't. You can't stop me from calling out your stupidity. 

[Guest Boy]

18 hours ago, Guest CNY said:

Unfortunately they didn't take it well.  Why people can't accept boundaries ya?

Boy dont ask questions that makes u look silly and stupid 

be smart 

Oh wait, this is BW , meant to be purposely controversial , so can stir some debate 

[Guest Dumb ass]

9 minutes ago, Guest Boy said:

Boy dont ask questions that makes u look silly and stupid 

be smart 

Oh wait, this is BW , meant to be purposely controversial , so can stir some debate 

 

Look. Another dumb guy calling out another stupid remark. 

 

How smart can you be? 

 

[Guest I tell U, Stress!!!]

We are simply exercising our sovereign integrity.  No one is permitted entry into our home without permission.   There were frequent scare and embarassing moments where my relatives simply came to visit while I was wearing underwear at home.  Usually, they will also came during our meal time and we have no choice but to get them to join us regardless, and we didn't eat much so that the guest have enough of our portion.  Weekend is precous to have plenty of ME TIME, or simply wanted to get enough rest and sleep duirng the afternoon,  While in bed and deep in sleep,  suddently a loud persistent knocking on the door and there are your relatives again, who came without warning.

 

 

[Guest CNY]

OP here. 

Find it rather rude that people felt free to insert whatever assumptions and make up whatever context they feel like on my post.  

It reflects more on your insecurities than mine. 

 

In truth, I do not have any ongoing negative isdues with my relatives.  They're great and our relationship is good.

 

All I to my relatives was that "I'm suffering from some mental health issues" and "can't take any guests".  "Besides my house is too small and it makes me ashamed".  "Although I feel some warmth that they are willing to come the way to see me, I can't marry my negative feelings with those good intentions.

 

They replied "what does the size of your house have to do with it?".  Inside I wished they wouldn't have said that.  They should just accept my rejections and respect my boundaries, not question it.

 

People kill themselves over mental health issues, so I don't understand why they can't understand the severity of this trigger.

[Guest Seek support]

Mental health issues are real but it’s hard for posters responding to a one sentence start of a forum thread -  or for your relatives - to necessarily know what is going on, so they answer based on the information they have and their perceptions of it.

 

There is other support available that might be more helpful for you:

 

https://oogachaga.com/ 

[Guest Drama queen]

3 hours ago, Guest CNY said:

OP here. 

Find it rather rude that people felt free to insert whatever assumptions and make up whatever context they feel like on my post.  

It reflects more on your insecurities than mine. 

 

In truth, I do not have any ongoing negative isdues with my relatives.  They're great and our relationship is good.

 

All I to my relatives was that "I'm suffering from some mental health issues" and "can't take any guests".  "Besides my house is too small and it makes me ashamed".  "Although I feel some warmth that they are willing to come the way to see me, I can't marry my negative feelings with those good intentions.

 

They replied "what does the size of your house have to do with it?".  Inside I wished they wouldn't have said that.  They should just accept my rejections and respect my boundaries, not question it.

 

People kill themselves over mental health issues, so I don't understand why they can't understand the severity of this trigger.

 

You're such a drama queen. 

 

I have mental health issue. I'm currently medicated for it. Sometimes I hear dark deep thoughts which render me useless.

 

Anxiety attack. Panic attack when I go inside crowded mrt. I have to take the earliest mrt to avoid having panic attack since its less crowded. After work I just take a grab. Can you imagine the financial burden. 

 

I'm lucky that I'm still able to hold onto a job. My boss know about my condition and didn't assign me task that requires face to face communication.

 

I don't own a property, not even a small one. Staying with my parents. I'm already 45 and my doctor deemed I'm mentally incapable of managing my own finance. 

 

If you seriously have a mental issue, I suggest you to seek help from mental. 

 

Otherwise you come across as a whiny pathetic loser who is using real mental health issue for sympathy. 

 

Going through something mentally. Is not mental. 

 

Have you been labelled crazy? I have. By my teacher, parents, relatives. I admit I have crazy tendency. But it's my schizophrenia. I have no control. 

 

So please. Take your inconsequential problem and shove it up your ass. Big fucking deal. Cny is already over. Your problem is over. 

 

I have to live with mine for the rest of my life. Carpish

[Guest ffffffff]

Invite all your gay and sissy friends over when your relatives' are around.

 

Make sure your friends act and dress over the top😅😅😅

 

Like wear those high cut denim shorts for girls.🤭😁

 

[Guest Lol]

2 minutes ago, Guest ffffffff said:

Invite all your gay and sissy friends over when your relatives' are around.

 

Make sure your friends act and dress over the top😅😅😅

 

Like wear those high cut denim shorts for girls.🤭😁

 

 

Or he can just leave his sex toy out in the open and play gay porn when relatives visit la. 

Then open a bottle of poppers to air the room 

[Ryuki]

Next round to vacation lo

[Guest KNN]

On 2/6/2023 at 9:54 AM, Guest CNY said:

OP here. 

Find it rather rude that people felt free to insert whatever assumptions and make up whatever context they feel like on my post.  

It reflects more on your insecurities than mine.

 

People are not rude.  Your first posting is a one liner and expect the rest of us to guess what the hell was going on in your life?  People made assumptions because there was no detail informations given and then you start blaming people for not knowing you have mental illness?  You are truly sick and BYE!!!

[Why?]

Any update on this topic?   I would like to know how you are handling uninteresting and unsolicited visitors these days.

[Steve5380]

7 hours ago, Why? said:

Any update on this topic?   I would like to know how you are handling uninteresting and unsolicited visitors these days.

 

I cannot help you.  I don't get uninterested / unsolicited visitors at home.  I live alone, without family nearby.  My main visit is my son and family, my 4 grandchildren, and I enjoy their visit very much.