Need advice about exes

[milodinosaur91]

If your ex ask u not to message them after the breakup and they message u to ask how are u after a few months. Do u still reply?

[jushiing]

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Edited August 2, 2025 by jushiing

[Kimochi]

You love him?

Who started the breakup?

Whose the one at fault? 

Do you want to reply? 

Do you deserve to reply? 

Do he deserve to be replied?

Do you think can be salvaged?

 

[Steve5380]

2 hours ago, milodinosaur91 said:

If your ex ask u not to message them after the breakup and they message u to ask how are u after a few months. Do u still reply?

 

Strong feelings like anger, disillusion, need some time to abate.  The good feelings that they temporarily replaced may still be there... and may surge again.

 

This can happen when the strong anger of one of the partners is not addressed but it causes the anger of the other party.   In a relationship, the anger of one of the parties should be recognized as valid and not dismissed as "you get angry for nothing", and the cause investigated and if possible corrected.

[GachiMuchi]

3 hours ago, milodinosaur91 said:

If your ex ask u not to message them after the breakup and they message u to ask how are u after a few months. Do u still reply?

 

How many exes do you have and why all of them asked you to message them after they broke off with you?

I presume you guys had amicable break offs? Not the drama break offs?

I don't see any harm in replying them unless you still want to stay as friends with them.

If you were hurt by the break off, then I would advise you, just close the chapter and move on.

[Steve5380]

6 hours ago, GachiMuchi said:

 

How many exes do you have and why all of them asked you to message them after they broke off with you?

I presume you guys had amicable break offs? Not the drama break offs?

I don't see any harm in replying them unless you still want to stay as friends with them.

If you were hurt by the break off, then I would advise you, just close the chapter and move on.

 

It could be that he uses the plural for "ex" not because he has many exes, but because he is addressing us, an audience of many gays, therefore our possible exes.

 

He can ignore the message from his ex and move on, but there may not be any inconvenience in answering to him.  Every case can be different.  And one can give a second chance.

[Why?]

15 hours ago, milodinosaur91 said:

If your ex ask u not to message him after the breakup and they message u. Do u still reply?

Abso-fucking-lutely NOT!!!

[egal]

sur y not as friends

[AlifBttm]

On 4/12/2025 at 11:42 PM, milodinosaur91 said:

If your ex ask u not to message them after the breakup and they message u to ask how are u after a few months. Do u still reply?

For me personally, yes the rules still applies. In the first place, you are the one who say not to message after breakup but afterall, decision is in your own hand. We can give you advice but the one who do it is you 👍

[sgwildfire18]

On 4/12/2025 at 11:42 PM, milodinosaur91 said:

If your ex ask u not to message them after the breakup and they message u to ask how are u after a few months. Do u still reply?

Yes ..  一夜夫妻百日恩 .. meaning .. a night of marriage (or in gay context .. a night of relationship), a 100 days of bond

[feilyxnixx]

still in frequent contact with my exes that asked me not to msg them but came back texting me.

for context. amicably broke up after talking thru shits , and is they texted me first.

 

its human nature to 旧情念念不忘 if the relationship had happy moments.

just take it easy. if u feel like replying then reply , if not then just bluetick him.

no need to involve hate or dislikes. 😃

[milodinosaur91]

Thanks all for the advice.

 

for context, I put “they” means 1 person not so much as all of them, wanted to seek general advice

 

I think the relationship was okay until I feel disrespected by the action made by the other party. But I got dismissed by my own feelings. 

 

eventually got tired of speaking and it’s only when I mention break up then it kinda bring the attention to them that I am serious about what I mentioned

 

I do understand that sometimes it’s hard to empathize the other person’s and they say they will change.

 

deep down I know it’s hard for someone to change unless they understand the situation and not change for the seek of changing. 
 

I ended up angry and tired and left. However I also feel bad that the other person’s have to handle the aftermath as well. Texting them back helps them but I will have to open up my own “trama” again. Hence I’m a bit lost

[sgwildfire18]

22 minutes ago, milodinosaur91 said:

Thanks all for the advice.

 

for context, I put “they” means 1 person not so much as all of them, wanted to seek general advice

 

I think the relationship was okay until I feel disrespected by the action made by the other party. But I got dismissed by my own feelings. 

 

eventually got tired of speaking and it’s only when I mention break up then it kinda bring the attention to them that I am serious about what I mentioned

 

I do understand that sometimes it’s hard to empathize the other person’s and they say they will change.

 

deep down I know it’s hard for someone to change unless they understand the situation and not change for the seek of changing. 
 

I ended up angry and tired and left. However I also feel bad that the other person’s have to handle the aftermath as well. Texting them back helps them but I will have to open up my own “trama” again. Hence I’m a bit lost

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

[Steve5380]

13 hours ago, milodinosaur91 said:

Thanks all for the advice.

---

I ended up angry and tired and left. However I also feel bad that the other person’s have to handle the aftermath as well. Texting them back helps them but I will have to open up my own “trama” again. Hence I’m a bit lost

 

The previous post "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" makes some sense.  Have you evaluated if "opening up your own trauma" would be a loss or a gain?  Could you at least end up with less of a trauma?

[milodinosaur91]

That is true. Gain to face it but i forsee its gonna be a never ending pull and push and end goal is still to go separately kind. 

[innocense]

I'll reply if I'm still single and I still like him, me and my current bf on and off until lost count already.

[kidster]

It's not easy for two persons to come together even though the relationship is short-lived. 

 

If no one has done each other wrong but broke up because of character differences, I would want to keep the friendship going.

 

Who knows you both of you might fall for each other again years later after going through life. The same two persons but more mature in character and know what they want in a relationship. 

[doncoin]

Ex= Expired. You toss out expired food, medications, etc. Keeping them around will only stink up your life. Consuming them can make you sick. Same thinking apply to ex-bfs. 

[iKneadyou]

On 4/12/2025 at 11:42 PM, milodinosaur91 said:

If your ex ask u not to message them after the breakup and they message u to ask how are u after a few months. Do u still reply?

Yup. I am still incontact with both my exes. We didn’t end on a bad note

[paddle_up]

On 4/12/2025 at 11:42 PM, milodinosaur91 said:

If your ex ask u not to message them after the breakup and they message u to ask how are u after a few months. Do u still reply?

you are a survivor sexy.

 

[InTooDeep]

If you no longer have that feeling for your exes and see no reason to reconnect with them, it is best to go with your head, don’t reply and focus on moving on in your life.

 

If you still have that special feeling and hold no bitterness against your exes, then you may follow your heart. Who knows you might rekindle the special connection that you once shared.

 

Just my two cents.