What do u think about guys who feel insecure about their age?

[GayNomad]

I feel like guys in their late 40s and above tend to under declare their age when dating/hooking up/seeking friends.

 

But why is this necessary? I do understand that people tend to go for someone younger, but u can't bluff your way through forever especially if seeking a ltr. 

 

What do u guys think about this? Can u accept a person whom u have dated/befriend only to realized much later on that he is much older. Or even worst, turn up for a date only to realized that the guy actually looks much older.

 

[radiusulnar]

5 hours ago, GayNomad said:

dating/hooking up/seeking friends.

 

For the last social activity, I think age is generally irrelevant and so it ought not crop up. So maybe if someone is asked for their age in that context, they may feel put out and give a lower age because they think the reason why it is even asked is due to some age discrimination. So better to be younger than older. 

 

 

[Steve5380]

We should not feel insecure ABOUT our age if we have a birth certificate, with well defined date, ha ha!

 

But feeling insecure BECAUSE of our age?  There is a perfect solution:  adopt the best lifestyle we can, optimum nutrition and exercise, avoidance of getting hooked on addictions, etc.  THEN...  since this is rare in people,  we will ALWAYS look younger than the average at our age, and this is a source of SATISFACTION. 

 

And with satisfaction should also come self-confidence.  We won't hesitate to approach people younger or much younger than us, knowing that their rejection is not a given.  And since age is something relative,  at 82 I might find someone in his 50s still attractive, while a 20y.o. would find him an "old uncle".   

[doncoin]

Guys who feel insecure about their age probably feel insecure about themselves to begin with. if they lie about their age for whatever reasons, it is probably to hide their insecurities. So there isn't much you can do, because it is not your problem.

[GWTW]

The last thing I would do is to lie about my age… ya no point hidding it. Dun really see a point to it. If you r lying already, then how do you wanna continue with the conversation that might lead to a ltr? Thought ltr is built on a foundation of trust?

[Startup]

Guys feel insecure about their age cos they fear rejection. After all, in the gay circle, older guys are usually less desirable. Once they mention their age, they meet stone silence. 

 

But trust me, if you are old but filthy rich, then you would not feel insecure.

 

In any case, wait till you reach 50 and then see if you can relate to feeling insecure about your age.

[Startup]

Forgot to mention that gays feel insecure about practically everything, apart from age. Such as dick not big enough, muscles not big enough, wallet not fat enough, height not tall enough, face not handsome enough, job position not high enough, etc. Feel free to add to the list.

[Baredom]

2 hours ago, Startup said:

Forgot to mention that gays feel insecure about practically everything, apart from age. Such as dick not big enough, muscles not big enough, wallet not fat enough, height not tall enough, face not handsome enough, job position not high enough, etc. Feel free to add to the list.

This is probably not exclusive to the gay subset. I imagine many women face very similar “market” expectations which can be extremely debilitating. 

[radiusulnar]

A lot of conversations now begin with just "Age?"

[egal]

ikr

 

depending on wht the other party is expecting, the real number cld b a dealkiller

[GayNomad]

2 hours ago, radiusulnar said:

A lot of conversations now begin with just "Age?"

Age? Not stats?

[radiusulnar]

Yes, not even stats. Just "Age?"

[torture2002]

I'm 50yo...but i look like late 30s...those who have met me would agree...

i totally know the feeling of being rejected when asked to reveal age...

there are still lots of mature men who are still in good shape and keeping fit...

and do not lose to younger chaps...

 

[Baredom]

I think it’s fair for people to have expectations about age. We have to admit there are very obvious differences in interests and priorities whichever decade we fall into. Having said that, it’s just an indicator, much like having a degree indicates your intellectual acumen. But we all know of many successful people who never believed in formal education or perhaps never  had the opportunity. Hence, it’s to the loss of he or she who decides to hold to societal norms or “prejudices” of what that number assigned to how long we’ve existed would represent.
 

Life’s too short to be caught up about this, no matter how old you are. 

[Why?]

14 hours ago, radiusulnar said:

A lot of conversations now begin with just "Age?"

Age is a magic number.

 

You get asked about it during your job interview,

During medical check up, doctor will  link the probablity of certain diseases to your age group

Govt policies, whether you qualify for senior citizens bonus or a discount for conmunity care facility.

 

Often, you hear comments like "It happens, when you gets older....blah blah blah..." which carries negative connotation of being different.

Your biological clock do not lies,  physically and internally.  Thing which were easy for you, in the past, now became a challenge to carry out.

 

You feel outcast and different in a school, among young students .  They look at you and snigger among themselves. Even the teacher felt awkward to see an old student sitting alone by himself.

 

As you aged, you are required by law to undergo compulsory medical checkup before license are granted for certain occupations..eg Taxi driver

 

Insurance premiums tend to be marked up higher for older people and varies according to age group.

 

Wrinkles, baldness, eyebags are often associated with aging. Once you disclosed your age,  it makes life easier to visualise your appearance without seeing the photo in a chat room.

 

Age also discloses your personal story and history, whether you were born as Kampong kids or the during pinoy maid era.  How many first hand news you witnessed about the world affairs - eg Black Monday,  Financial Crisis,  911,  worldcom scandal...etc

 

The above is simply a touch on the surface about age.  It is not realistic to pain everyone as "not curious" about age in chat room.  Unless you are alien....

If you don't tell people your age, the aforementioned situations wouldn't exist in other people mind, and your friends or strangers wouldn't know whom or what they were interacting with.  Doubt is the last thing you want any relationship to prosper.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[iKneadyou]

19 hours ago, radiusulnar said:

A lot of conversations now begin with just "Age?"

I thought is “ you chinese?”

[And then]

18 hours ago, torture2002 said:

I'm 50yo...but i look like late 30s...those who have met me would agree...

i totally know the feeling of being rejected when asked to reveal age...

there are still lots of mature men who are still in good shape and keeping fit...

and do not lose to younger chaps...

 

big difference whether it is a hook up vs a potential relationship

 

for a hook up, can just make up a number you can get away with

[youdoyou]

On 4/16/2025 at 9:18 AM, Startup said:

Forgot to mention that gays feel insecure about practically everything, apart from age. Such as dick not big enough, muscles not big enough, wallet not fat enough, height not tall enough, face not handsome enough, job position not high enough, etc. Feel free to add to the list.

There’s always gonna be something people are insecure about. The one thing I find most amusing is when people say things like 30 is the new 20, 40 is the new 30, etc. Personally, it feels delusional. But if it helps someone sleep at night, sure.

[doncoin]

If the guy's insecurity is with his age, you are looking at the tip of the iceberg with a lot more insecurities beneath the surface. Run! 

[Derren]

23 hours ago, youdoyou said:

There’s always gonna be something people are insecure about. The one thing I find most amusing is when people say things like 30 is the new 20, 40 is the new 30, etc. Personally, it feels delusional. But if it helps someone sleep at night, sure.

I think this is said mainly because both lifespan and health span has been extended significantly. Of course, it isn't quite the same, but indeed we need to reconsider how to plan our lives with this extended lifespan and health span in mind. 

[shyc]

😂 on the contrary I am always open about my age and had been on many occasions told to ‘shut up’ (in jest) and stop claiming I am old. 😏 

[youdoyou]

3 hours ago, Derren said:

I think this is said mainly because both lifespan and health span has been extended significantly. Of course, it isn't quite the same, but indeed we need to reconsider how to plan our lives with this extended lifespan and health span in mind. 

Ah that’s fair I guess.

[Steve5380]

On 4/16/2025 at 8:39 PM, Why? said:

If you don't tell people your age, the aforementioned situations wouldn't exist in other people mind, and your friends or strangers wouldn't know whom or what they were interacting with.  Doubt is the last thing you want any relationship to prosper.

 

 

You are one of the many offenders in this issue you comment.  In over 1,300 posts you have never revealed your age,  and in your profile you hide the usual information.  What are you afraid of?   Hopefully you will one day get rid of the fear, and be sincere with the BW public about your personal information.  Realize that you don't have much to lose.

[Why?]

2 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

You are one of the many offenders in this issue you comment.  In over 1,300 posts you have never revealed your age,  and in your profile you hide the usual information.  What are you afraid of?   Hopefully you will one day get rid of the fear, and be sincere with the BW public about your personal information.  Realize that you don't have much to lose.

This is a forum, people are interested in comments, not age.  Age comes into play when you wanted to have some dealings, transactions, relationships with someone.  If my profile is empty, it means I am sexless, ageless, friendless, formless, pennyless... and the less you know about it the better. 🤫

Edited Sunday at 04:06 AM by Why?

[Saggiboy]

I dun care abt the other person's age. Maybe after getting comfortable I don't mind if asked.

I think if U wanna lie abt age, make sure U look damn like the age U lied abt.

Make sense?

[radiusulnar]

15 minutes ago, Saggiboy said:

U wanna lie abt age, make sure U look damn like the age U lied abt.

 

😂 I guess some people are just not good at lying. Or delulu

[Steve5380]

8 hours ago, Why? said:

This is a forum, people are interested in comments, not age.  Age comes into play when you wanted to have some dealings, transactions, relationships with someone.  If my profile is empty, it means I am sexless, ageless, friendless, formless, pennyless... and the less you know about it the better. 🤫

 

If you are sexless, ageless, friendless, formless, penny-less...  perhaps in your mind you are already a soul posting from the afterlife.  This is your good right.  But @Why?

 

7 hours ago, radiusulnar said:

 

😂 I guess some people are just not good at lying. Or delulu

 

Dear gays,  there is one more benefit being a senior in good form:  one feels PRIDE revealing one's true age.  Like getting this: "Oh, you are 82?  that's incredible!!"   

[Why?]

15 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

If you are sexless, ageless, friendless, formless, penny-less...  perhaps in your mind you are already a soul posting from the afterlife.  This is your good right.  But @Why?

 

You would not ask me @Why? if you know the difference between Worldly Value and Spiritual Truth.  While the latter is timeless, the former carries a time stamp.

 

[passinthenight]

I think if you're lucky, you'll get to grow old.

There are lots of lives that don't get to complain about growing old.

I'm 64 going on 65.

Every year that goes past, I feel lucky.

I just accept where I am right now.

 

I am happy to tell people my age.

I wear it like a badge of honour.

 

[Why?]

3 hours ago, passinthenight said:

I'm 64 going on 65.

I wear it like a badge of honour.

 

Have your activities, circumstances,  changed significantly when you were in your 30s or 40s compared to your mid-60s?

[passinthenight]

9 hours ago, Why? said:

Have your activities, circumstances,  changed significantly when you were in your 30s or 40s compared to your mid-60s?

 

Yes, I could and would stay out late back then.

Even going out at midnight in my 30's & 40's to nightclubs.

 

 Not now, I don't have any interest in going out late at night.

I'm usually in bed already or thinking about going to bed.

 

 I don't have any energy at this time of night.

I'm usually ready for a sleep and a good night's rest.