Must a relationship involve anal?

[DonT]

Just curious. 

In gay relationships, is anal a must

Are there gay relationships without it?

Edited September 6, 2025 by DonT

[bigboyclubsg]

I think there are so many different versions of relationships, and in some, sex isn't a big thing. I'm sure there are guys in relationships where they might not even have sex at all (just intimacy/romance) or even in those where their sex is purely non-anal. 

[lightsmith32]

No, but a relationship with booty is so much more rewarding

[Home_SG]

Normally it’s like a match in the relationship. Otherwise likely one will eat out. Unless it’s a long term relationship then anal is secondary. 
 

there are couples in the late 30s daily also make out but there are also couples in the 20s who make out once a week or even lesser. 

[MasterFitMalaySG4U]

Yes we all have needs. It bring we into 1 like spice girls song "when 2 become 1!" 😂 

 

A good way of practice your sex skills. Know how to kiss (slow to passionate) know how to rim suck lick (slowly to like hungry mf deep) spit on the right moment, lick suck kiss that nipple into hard n bite it haha both Top & Btm have task to fulfilled each other when both do that it gonna be a damn sweaty hot wet spicy wild sex even fun or side haha indoor outdoor and put some toys n dildo mix it up haha 

 

When u have a horny hard master Dom top like me I gonna bring u to the cloud 9 when u ride me u gotta get it slow to deep to hardcore u gotta feel your thrust baby! 💋 

 

So your regulars or subs or fwb or even your bf or partner won't find someone else haha they can't never find that hardcore deep intimacy haha 

[StockBottom]

Most relationships, after a while, will be quite sexless, much less something as troublesome as anal.

At most maybe handjob, or blowjob for that special occasion.

 

Anal-ed by the same dick after 5, 10 times also sian leh.

[EastSgDad]

To me:

Relationship... is a unity of soulmates, exclusively, monogamous. Unlimited trust, respect, understanding, support, etc.

 

100% companionship. 

 

Intimacy is as simple as being there for each other, even without verbal cue.

 

Sex is totally a bonus.

 

My 2-cent worth sharing.

 

Treasure your other half, ok?

[Anon_cock]

if no anal, how to breed or impregnate your man? 🤣

[mate69]

Indeed

[Why?]

On 9/6/2025 at 9:54 AM, DonT said:

Just curious. 

In gay relationships, is anal a must

Are there gay relationships without it?

Anal is not necessary if you can find another means for someone to effectively use his throbbing solid cock.

[doncoin]

On 9/5/2025 at 9:54 PM, DonT said:

Just curious. 

In gay relationships, is anal a must

Are there gay relationships without it?

 

It's called friendship. 

[ToughGuy]

Not a must 

[PlayersGroup]

there are even relationships without much sex, so.

[Steve5380]

On 9/5/2025 at 8:54 PM, DonT said:

Just curious. 

In gay relationships, is anal a must

Are there gay relationships without it?

 

Good question!  Reminds me of other ones, like "in our drinking, is alcohol a must?",   "are there people who don't drink alcohol?"  And here is one question from me:  If a society would grow isolated from the rest of the world,  would there be anal sex?   What is the chance that here one person is fucked by another and discovers... the pleasures of anal?

 

Gay sex can be great without any anal sex.  And so there can be good relationships without any.  Even without any... sex... after a while!

[Steve5380]

On 9/6/2025 at 10:11 PM, Anon_cock said:

if no anal, how to breed or impregnate your man? 🤣

 

Today you can do it with artificial insemination, no?

[AskMeNot]

No need. Intimacy and connection is more important than sex.

[fetish69]

On 9/6/2025 at 11:52 AM, MasterFitMalaySG4U said:

Yes we all have needs. It bring we into 1 like spice girls song "when 2 become 1!" 😂 

 

A good way of practice your sex skills. Know how to kiss (slow to passionate) know how to rim suck lick (slowly to like hungry mf deep) spit on the right moment, lick suck kiss that nipple into hard n bite it haha both Top & Btm have task to fulfilled each other when both do that it gonna be a damn sweaty hot wet spicy wild sex even fun or side haha indoor outdoor and put some toys n dildo mix it up haha 

 

When u have a horny hard master Dom top like me I gonna bring u to the cloud 9 when u ride me u gotta get it slow to deep to hardcore u gotta feel your thrust baby! 💋 

 

So your regulars or subs or fwb or even your bf or partner won't find someone else haha they can't never find that hardcore deep intimacy haha 

 Sex is to spice it up the top must be able bring the btm to cloud 9 to that they in cloud 9 their eye flip turning white and the body trembling as you pulled out your to change another position. The moment I hold their ankle and opened real wide apart I make sure I push real deep to my base and slowly grind it deep.

[tns]

My partner and I love to cuddle, kiss, oral, 69. Anal is when we feel like it, it's not a must for us.

[doncoin]

With my second ex, and we were together for 6 years, it was a relationship with no anal. He's not into being bottomed, and I did not feel like always have to be the bottom to please him. So we hit an impasse like within 6 months into the relationship. Everything was great, expect when it comes to anal sex. The sex we had reminded me of secondary school sex, where we just wank each other off, or we masturbate in front of each other. I was passed that at that point in life. 

 

To give a little context, With my first ex, I had mindblowing sex. He was in the adult entertainment industry, and he helped me explore my sexuality, what turns me on etc. 3-somes, groups, toys, kinks, fetishes, etc. but the 3 years together were rocky, and in the end, we decided to split, but remained friendly. For a while, he remained a good backup call whenever I was horny. So with my second ex, I kind of miss those wild sexcapades, and he was very methodical. He wouldn't even rim or be rimmed. I told myself it was ok, he is good guy. Sex is not that important. We cuddle, hug, kiss, and that should be enough.

 

By the 5th year, i was completely sexually frustrated. Keep in mind, I was in my early 30s then. Surprisingly, I was faithful to this guy. I played my part. But I was sexually frustrated that when it comes to sex with him, all I want was to get it over and done with as quickly as possible. I had dropped hints numerous times about him bottoming, and we take turns etc. but for some fucked up reason, he refuses, and that was the end of the conversation.

 

We had gone to BKK for a vacation, and I thought we could spice things up. We had a discussion about going to one of the massage places, we pick a guy each for a couple's massage and play together. Nope. When it came to the actual deed, we did it separately. I had hoped it would be a shared experience. Anyway, the resentment in me grew as my frustrations mounted and finally I told him I can't do this any more. So we broke up. In hindsight, I should have flagged the issue sooner instead of wasting 6 years of each other's lives. 

 

Anal sex is a must for me, and there is a certain degree of intimacy created with the other person(s) when you cum inside another person instead of into your own hand. I have done the cuddle, hug, suck, oral sex, and to me, that's just foreplay. 

[iKneadyou]

I think relationship isn’t a cookie cutter. Every couple does it differently. For me, yes, anal sex is important. But his attention and love overshadows the sex part. But showing love through sex is a big yes

[AskMeNot]

I agree with anal sex as an expression of love. Do it only at times when the season calls for it. 

[singalion]

On 9/6/2025 at 9:54 AM, DonT said:

Just curious. 

In gay relationships, is anal a must

Are there gay relationships without it?

 

In a relationship nothing should be a must, if both have understanding for each other and respect boundaries. 

 

There are also relationships between two tops. 

 

Everything should be according to the mutual arrangement. 

 

It is correct that longer lasting relationships partners lose the interest in joint sex action but as usual there are exceptions. 

Probably, after a certain amount of time, the focus on a relationship is more other binding factors than just sex. 

It is not different to straight relationships...

 

The problem should arise more if one partner is sexually very active and needs to stray around once the relationship partner doesn't further engage in joint sex action. 

Depending on how much value you give to maintaining the relationship, it may overcome this issue. 

 

 

 

[Balestier]

Most AJs are bottoms or tops. Not all. I find bottoms have high needs for anal. They think a relationship is incomplete without it. Just like a straight relationship without penetration. It depends on luck. Going open is option. Rather be open than do behind each other back. 

[Balestier]

On 9/12/2025 at 11:38 AM, AskMeNot said:

No need. Intimacy and connection is more important than sex.

Sadly most gays forgot this for that 30 mins of thrusting

[AskMeNot]

I agree. Being fucked by a person whom you know will appreciate and love you for what you are doing, and sacrificing for him, opens up a whole new level of emotional connection and exploration between two persons.

 

On the other end, if it is a random hook up stranger, the other person will just feel like a human dildo. The aim is just self-pleasure.

Edited September 13, 2025 by AskMeNot

[budakmelayu]

18 hours ago, doncoin said:

With my second ex, and we were together for 6 years, it was a relationship with no anal. He's not into being bottomed, and I did not feel like always have to be the bottom to please him. So we hit an impasse like within 6 months into the relationship. Everything was great, expect when it comes to anal sex. The sex we had reminded me of secondary school sex, where we just wank each other off, or we masturbate in front of each other. I was passed that at that point in life. 

 

To give a little context, With my first ex, I had mindblowing sex. He was in the adult entertainment industry, and he helped me explore my sexuality, what turns me on etc. 3-somes, groups, toys, kinks, fetishes, etc. but the 3 years together were rocky, and in the end, we decided to split, but remained friendly. For a while, he remained a good backup call whenever I was horny. So with my second ex, I kind of miss those wild sexcapades, and he was very methodical. He wouldn't even rim or be rimmed. I told myself it was ok, he is good guy. Sex is not that important. We cuddle, hug, kiss, and that should be enough.

 

By the 5th year, i was completely sexually frustrated. Keep in mind, I was in my early 30s then. Surprisingly, I was faithful to this guy. I played my part. But I was sexually frustrated that when it comes to sex with him, all I want was to get it over and done with as quickly as possible. I had dropped hints numerous times about him bottoming, and we take turns etc. but for some fucked up reason, he refuses, and that was the end of the conversation.

 

We had gone to BKK for a vacation, and I thought we could spice things up. We had a discussion about going to one of the massage places, we pick a guy each for a couple's massage and play together. Nope. When it came to the actual deed, we did it separately. I had hoped it would be a shared experience. Anyway, the resentment in me grew as my frustrations mounted and finally I told him I can't do this any more. So we broke up. In hindsight, I should have flagged the issue sooner instead of wasting 6 years of each other's lives. 

 

Anal sex is a must for me, and there is a certain degree of intimacy created with the other person(s) when you cum inside another person instead of into your own hand. I have done the cuddle, hug, suck, oral sex, and to me, that's just foreplay. 

I'm having the same issue currently 

[doncoin]

3 hours ago, budakmelayu said:

I'm having the same issue currently 

Don’t repeat my mistake. I would say have a discussion with him first. Listen to things from his POV and communicate your POV. I told myself that all that emotional stuff, the hugging, cuddling, etc was good enough. I should not ask for more. Basically, I lowered the bar myself instead of admitting that anal sex is important to me. Altruism is the fallacy I've made in my relationship. Your needs are just as important as his, figure out a way to balance it in a way that is satisfying to you both. 

 

 

 

Edited September 13, 2025 by doncoin

[singalion]

5 hours ago, budakmelayu said:

I'm having the same issue currently 

 

3 hours ago, doncoin said:

Don’t repeat my mistake. I would say have a discussion with him first. Listen to things from his POV and communicate your POV. I told myself that all that emotional stuff, the hugging, cuddling, etc was good enough. I should not ask for more. Basically, I lowered the bar myself instead of admitting that anal sex is important to me. Altruism is the fallacy I've made in my relationship. Your needs are just as important as his, figure out a way to balance it in a way that is satisfying to you both. 

 

 

 

 

I can concur. Instead of "suffering" with unfullfilled sexual satisfaction start talking on the topic slowly at a good time with your bf. Otherwise you will end up doing hankypanly outside until your bf discovers. 

 

There are solutions, engage for a threesome, get permission to seek sex with a regular etc... 

 

Otherwise if your bf does not accommodate to your sexual preferences, travel overseas alone under a pretext (and have fun) if you don't want to end the relationship. 

 

You need to know what type of bf he is, whether you can share your sexcapades or better keep shut. 

 

True Love has so many angles...

 

I met a SG guy for fun some time back who told me that he didn't have penetration with his partner for more than 10 years... 

 

Some bf in such situations may also be surprised or shocked to find out one day that their "so truthful monogamous" partner was playing around with other guys...

 

In the end it is always a question to yourself what part has more value or worth to you, going on with the relationship or breaking off. 

 

In my personal experience once a relationship hits 10 years , breakups on sex issues are much rarer then in early years. 

 

Just find the mutual solution around it... 

 

 

[Balestier]

8 hours ago, doncoin said:

Don’t repeat my mistake. I would say have a discussion with him first. Listen to things from his POV and communicate your POV. I told myself that all that emotional stuff, the hugging, cuddling, etc was good enough. I should not ask for more. Basically, I lowered the bar myself instead of admitting that anal sex is important to me. Altruism is the fallacy I've made in my relationship. Your needs are just as important as his, figure out a way to balance it in a way that is satisfying to you both. 

 

 

 

Better to do it as open relationship then behind each other back. Set up boundary for yrself, partner and buddy

Edited September 13, 2025 by Balestier

[Balestier]

15 hours ago, AskMeNot said:

I agree. Being fucked by a person whom you know will appreciate and love you for what you are doing, and sacrificing for him, opens up a whole new level of emotional connection and exploration between two persons.

 

On the other end, if it is a random hook up stranger, the other person will just feel like a human dildo. The aim is just self-pleasure.

Same for passionate kissing. I will lose my mind.

[Balestier]

3 hours ago, singalion said:

 

 

I can concur. Instead of "suffering" with unfullfilled sexual satisfaction start talking on the topic slowly at a good time with your bf. Otherwise you will end up doing hankypanly outside until your bf discovers. 

 

There are solutions, engage for a threesome, get permission to seek sex with a regular etc... 

 

Otherwise if your bf does not accommodate to your sexual preferences, travel overseas alone under a pretext (and have fun) if you don't want to end the relationship. 

 

You need to know what type of bf he is, whether you can share your sexcapades or better keep shut. 

 

True Love has so many angles...

 

I met a SG guy for fun some time back who told me that he didn't have penetration with his partner for more than 10 years... 

 

Some bf in such situations may also be surprised or shocked to find out one day that their "so truthful monogamous" partner was playing around with other guys...

 

In the end it is always a question to yourself what part has more value or worth to you, going on with the relationship or breaking off. 

 

In my personal experience once a relationship hits 10 years , breakups on sex issues are much rarer then in early years. 

 

Just find the mutual solution around it... 

 

 

Thats why we see many open relationships  in grindr and jackd.

[Balestier]

Partner not giving  this dxxk or anal to u is not a license for u to have fun with others. Talk about it. Its how much u treasure each other outside sex. Better than torturing each other w hurting words once he found out. 

 Set boundary and rules for each other.  

Edited September 13, 2025 by Balestier

[singalion]

4 hours ago, Balestier said:

Partner not giving  this dxxk or anal to u is not a license for u to have fun with others. Talk about it. Its how much u treasure each other outside sex. Better than torturing each other w hurting words once he found out. 

 Set boundary and rules for each other.  

 

If the sexual interests are not compatible from onset of the relationship it might be advised to break off and find someone sexually suitable. 

Every relationship should have 3 - 8 (or more ) years of mutually satisfying sex. Those who do 3some or group fun in early relationship should engage with each other also. While most commonly a gay relationship engages a third guy after some years only to spice up the fun, more matured couples might start with such "practices" at an earlier stage. 

 

There is not really a true golden rule but initial satisfying fun after the stsrt of a relationship surely creates a better bonding for the long term. If something lacks from the start (like penetration) then probably the relationship won't hit year 2. 

 

 

[Balestier]

20 hours ago, singalion said:

 

If the sexual interests are not compatible from onset of the relationship it might be advised to break off and find someone sexually suitable. 

Every relationship should have 3 - 8 (or more ) years of mutually satisfying sex. Those who do 3some or group fun in early relationship should engage with each other also. While most commonly a gay relationship engages a third guy after some years only to spice up the fun, more matured couples might start with such "practices" at an earlier stage. 

 

There is not really a true golden rule but initial satisfying fun after the stsrt of a relationship surely creates a better bonding for the long term. If something lacks from the start (like penetration) then probably the relationship won't hit year 2. 

 

 

Or willing to let go into a open relationship. Most aj wants excitement after eating same dish for 2-3 years

Edited September 15, 2025 by Balestier

[kLookx]

My ass is super tight. I need my man to fuck me and spread it open every nite as otherwise, the next morning I will have extreme difficulty loosening the orifice to pang sai. That's why Anal sex is crucial in my relationship.

Edited September 20, 2025 by kLookx

[AskMeNot]

55 minutes ago, kLookx said:

My ass is super tight. I need my man to fuck me and spread it open every nite as otherwise, the next morning I will have extreme difficulty loosening the orifice to pang sai. That's why Anal sex is crucial in my relationship.

 

You don't need a man. You need a doctor.

[cbm]

8 hours ago, kLookx said:

My ass is super tight. I need my man to fuck me and spread it open every nite as otherwise, the next morning I will have extreme difficulty loosening the orifice to pang sai. That's why Anal sex is crucial in my relationship.

 

Oh my. It's not supposed to be like that. You might need more fibre in your diet. Try eating more fruits and vegetables and see if it's still difficult to pangsai or not. 

[Want to try]

Having your partner's hard throbbing dick inside your ass and you squeezing it and let him know how much you appreciate the closeness is the type of intimacy that cannot be replaced by anything else and cannot be absent in any true close relationship. It is the same as for the heterosexual partners with. A hard throbbing cock inside the vaginas to feel the warm and tightness. In both vaginas and anal sex, to be it is nut the vigorous thrusting that gives the ultimate pleasure but the slow gyration between the two bodies with a cock inside a hole and of course the deep tongue kissing that is the best orgasm to aim for. So.. Anal sex is a must in any true relationship. 

[Why?]

On 9/12/2025 at 11:38 AM, AskMeNot said:

No need. Intimacy and connection is more important than sex.

It makes perfect sense, however reluctantly at times, from a tone like this. 

[wanton_mee]

20 hours ago, cbm said:

 

Oh my. It's not supposed to be like that. You might need more fibre in your diet. Try eating more fruits and vegetables and see if it's still difficult to pangsai or not. 

got fiber but not enuff water also cannot pangsai. 😁

[wanton_mee]

On 9/6/2025 at 9:54 AM, DonT said:

Just curious. 

In gay relationships, is anal a must

Are there gay relationships without it?

i waiting for non anal relationship. 😃

[egal]

i think it must involving sucking / blowing

 

 

otherwise they would all leave

[Steve5380]

On 9/20/2025 at 12:59 AM, kLookx said:

My ass is super tight. I need my man to fuck me and spread it open every nite as otherwise, the next morning I will have extreme difficulty loosening the orifice to pang sai. That's why Anal sex is crucial in my relationship.

 

If you know about fluid mechanics,  you realize that the viscosity of the fluid is as important as the size of the orifice.  So that you can make up for a small orifice by reducing the viscosity of the fluid.  One easy way to do this is by ADDING PRUNES TO YOUR DAILY DIET.   This is a much easier solution than having to find a TOP every morning...  Yes, every morning because the enlarged orifice won't stay like that for hours and hours.

[singalion]

On 9/20/2025 at 1:59 PM, kLookx said:

My ass is super tight. I need my man to fuck me and spread it open every nite as otherwise, the next morning I will have extreme difficulty loosening the orifice to pang sai. That's why Anal sex is crucial in my relationship.

 

On 9/20/2025 at 10:46 PM, cbm said:

 

Oh my. It's not supposed to be like that. You might need more fibre in your diet. Try eating more fruits and vegetables and see if it's still difficult to pangsai or not. 

 

Actually, not just fruits and vegetable but add Chia Seeds and line seeds into salads or cereal breakfast, yellow , passion fruit, dragon fruit, on vegetables add lentils from time to time. 

Change chia seeds with flaxseeds alternatively. But read up on beginner, need to hydrate a lot (meaning drink 0.75 L water more per day and 1 mug of water directly after consuming Chia seeds or flaxseeds (also start Chia seeds with low volume like half a teaspoon for first days) . In the evening eat some pumpkin seeds. 

 

Digestion wise yellow Dragon fruits are very helpful, however, in this region they are mostly quite costly. 

 

Further, last advice, don't force it out with pressure, it will only lead to huge piles after some years...

 

Hope it helps. 

 

[Steve5380]

8 hours ago, singalion said:

 

Actually, not just fruits and vegetable but add Chia Seeds and line seeds into salads or cereal breakfast, yellow , passion fruit, dragon fruit, on vegetables add lentils from time to time. 

 

 

Good advice, but one should NEVER ingest dry chia seeds.  They suck up any liquid they find, and if ingested dry they form a gel inside the digestive system that can lead to a plugged small intestine,  which may need abdominal surgery to unplug.  It may be wise to hydrate chia seeds separately long enough to prevent problems. 

[cbm]

10 hours ago, singalion said:

 

 

Actually, not just fruits and vegetable but add Chia Seeds and line seeds into salads or cereal breakfast, yellow , passion fruit, dragon fruit, on vegetables add lentils from time to time. 

Change chia seeds with flaxseeds alternatively. But read up on beginner, need to hydrate a lot (meaning drink 0.75 L water more per day and 1 mug of water directly after consuming Chia seeds or flaxseeds (also start Chia seeds with low volume like half a teaspoon for first days) . In the evening eat some pumpkin seeds. 

 

Digestion wise yellow Dragon fruits are very helpful, however, in this region they are mostly quite costly. 

 

Further, last advice, don't force it out with pressure, it will only lead to huge piles after some years...

 

Hope it helps. 

 

 

I ate a kiwano fruit once, pulp and seeds. It was difficult pooping it out. Not going to eat a kiwano ever again. 

 

[Magicerife]

A relationship is simply a connection between people. In the context of romance, it can involve love, commitment, emotional intimacy, partnership, or shared life goals. The defining element is mutual agreement and understanding of what the relationship means to both partners. By definition, it does not need to involve sex, be it anal or oral or whatever.

 

That said, in practice, many couples do expect sex to be part of their relationship, as it can provide intimacy, bonding, and physical closeness. The key issue is alignment: if one partner feels sex is important for fulfillment while the other does not, tension or incompatibility can arise. Ultimately, successful relationships, whether they involve sexual activities such as anal, oral, or none at all, require open communication about needs, boundaries, and expectations.

[Steve5380]

On 9/24/2025 at 10:18 AM, cbm said:

 

I ate a kiwano fruit once, pulp and seeds. It was difficult pooping it out. Not going to eat a kiwano ever again. 

 

 

This is the first time I hear about a kiwano fruit.  Should I try it?   Apparently it gives some benefits:

 

https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/kiwano-melon#provides-antioxidants

 

but...  it does not look too appetizing...  and its million seeds...  I already dislike the seeds in guava fruits.  So I come to a conclusion:  I will only try it if my boyfriend insists, which won't happen because I don't have a boyfriend anymore.  

[milodinosaur91]

most of the time it will involved in some way. 

[Funnyguy]

On 9/6/2025 at 9:54 AM, DonT said:

Just curious. 

In gay relationships, is anal a must

Are there gay relationships without it?

I also want to ask this question