Must a relationship involve anal?

[Want to try]

3 hours ago, Funnyguy said:

I also want to ask this question 

There are but not lasting Lor..... The moment one party finds out never ever going to get to experience it.... Surely kena dumped! 

[singalion]

On 9/27/2025 at 11:00 PM, Want to try said:

There are but not lasting Lor..... The moment one party finds out never ever going to get to experience it.... Surely kena dumped! 

but in Singapore with the top “side” spot worldwide, there should be plenty of relationships not doing anal.

 

It all depends on the arrangement 

[fetish72]

Anal is all about mutual. I have buddies who is attached yet both of them pure top and they been together 7 years they both from here locally one is Malay one Chinese guy.  They have mutual understanding by know another truly btm whom don't like to be suck just like to rim and get fuck. They say such btm satisfied them and the btm serve their needs but also most btm they get hungry btm but safe. He booked 3 villas for very close friends and their FB.  Now waiting for their BTO. Both have stable job and they splurge on each other and is not one person foot the bill all the time. I see them they got very healthy relationship they also spoke how they meet and where they met. They very opened the meet at one of orgy session. Very pure and sincere relationship by not pretentious I feel bless as I one of their partner best man.

[Agoenk_pku]

11 hours ago, fetish72 said:

Anal is all about mutual. I have buddies who is attached yet both of them pure top and they been together 7 years they both from here locally one is Malay one Chinese guy.  They have mutual understanding by know another truly btm whom don't like to be suck just like to rim and get fuck. They say such btm satisfied them and the btm serve their needs but also most btm they get hungry btm but safe. He booked 3 villas for very close friends and their FB.  Now waiting for their BTO. Both have stable job and they splurge on each other and is not one person foot the bill all the time. I see them they got very healthy relationship they also spoke how they meet and where they met. They very opened the meet at one of orgy session. Very pure and sincere relationship by not pretentious I feel bless as I one of their partner best man.

Btw gay couple how to book BTO in Singapore?

[Want to try]

14 hours ago, fetish72 said:

Anal is all about mutual. I have buddies who is attached yet both of them pure top and they been together 7 years they both from here locally one is Malay one Chinese guy.  They have mutual understanding by know another truly btm whom don't like to be suck just like to rim and get fuck. They say such btm satisfied them and the btm serve their needs but also most btm they get hungry btm but safe. He booked 3 villas for very close friends and their FB.  Now waiting for their BTO. Both have stable job and they splurge on each other and is not one person foot the bill all the time. I see them they got very healthy relationship they also spoke how they meet and where they met. They very opened the meet at one of orgy session. Very pure and sincere relationship by not pretentious I feel bless as I one of their partner best man.

Not convinced it can last as a couple... May be as buddies. Can't imagine two swords fighting each other non stop.. At some juncture one has to stab the another 😎

[ToughGuy]

4 hours ago, Want to try said:

Not convinced it can last as a couple... May be as buddies. Can't imagine two swords fighting each other non stop.. At some juncture one has to stab the another 😎

"Stab" where?😂😂😂😂😂💦💦💦💦

[cutejack]

On 9/30/2025 at 9:55 AM, Agoenk_pku said:

Btw gay couple how to book BTO in Singapore?

Two person's name can liao. Got cpf money can too. 

[Steve5380]

On 9/29/2025 at 11:06 PM, Want to try said:

Not convinced it can last as a couple... May be as buddies. Can't imagine two swords fighting each other non stop.. At some juncture one has to stab the another 😎

 

Of course they can.  We do this all the time in Aikido, using bokkens ( wooden swords ).

[Home_SG]

A healthy relationship normally encompassed that.  

[yoyo74]

Anal sex is a definitely a no for me. I dont even like oral sex or rim or tongue kissing as well.

I only enjoy touching the chest and abs of lean fit guys and also being touched.

As for partner living together in the future i am quite into open relationship as i believe its fine to love more than one guy. I will even encourage the one i like to have more fun to experience with more people and of cause to live together need all to agree to it. Group fun is also ok for me.

 

I only require the people that live with me be the one i like, be friendly easy going personality, care towards each other, exercise together with me for example a weekly run, eat together with me and hopefully can eat vegetarian with me occasionally, lots of hugging and cuddling, understand each other. I already have several very close friend for such a setup and i am still in the process of getting more such people

 

[leckmich]

4 hours ago, yoyo74 said:

Anal sex is a definitely a no for me. I dont even like oral sex or rim or tongue kissing as well.

I only enjoy touching the chest and abs of lean fit guys and also being touched.

As for partner living together in the future i am quite into open relationship as i believe its fine to love more than one guy. I will even encourage the one i like to have more fun to experience with more people and of cause to live together need all to agree to it. Group fun is also ok for me.

 

I only require the people that live with me be the one i like, be friendly easy going personality, care towards each other, exercise together with me for example a weekly run, eat together with me and hopefully can eat vegetarian with me occasionally, lots of hugging and cuddling, understand each other. I already have several very close friend for such a setup and i am still in the process of getting more such people

 

are you not afraid that your partner contracts all the stis and spread it to you?

 

anyway, what was the first anal sex for you all the first time?

 

painful or fun?

 

 

[yoyo74]

On 10/5/2025 at 5:48 AM, leckmich said:

are you not afraid that your partner contracts all the stis and spread it to you?

 

anyway, what was the first anal sex for you all the first time?

 

painful or fun?

 

 

I dont see any great danger of me contracting std just cause of touching fun. My post already said no to anal sex and to be specific i feel it dirty and disgusting playing with shit hole so there will be no first time for me

[cutejack]

7 hours ago, yoyo74 said:

I dont see any great danger of me contracting std just cause of touching fun. My post already said no to anal sex and to be specific i feel it dirty and disgusting playing with shit hole so there will be no first time for me

First time hearing a gay saying that feel dirty n disgusting playing with shit hole.It's like str8 saying that he feels dirty n disgusting playing with urine hole. What sia.

 

[kalel]

2 hours ago, cutejack said:

First time hearing a gay saying that feel dirty n disgusting playing with shit hole.It's like str8 saying that he feels dirty n disgusting playing with urine hole. What sia.

 

 

Why are you always so critical about others' opinion(s) when it went against your believe? Could you be a little more acceptance towards others' opinion or preference? Everyone has his own needs/preferences yeah.

 

Have you not heard of this term - asexual (applicable to anyone, including straight couples)? In short, asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to others, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity. (Read more --> here)

 

[singalion]

5 hours ago, cutejack said:

First time hearing a gay saying that feel dirty n disgusting playing with shit hole.It's like str8 saying that he feels dirty n disgusting playing with urine hole. What sia.

 

 

Actually, the thread is exactly about a must of anal sex (in a relationship) or not doing anal sex. 

Means there is one view but also the other. 

 

One might reason that he doesn't find anal sex enjoyable, the other might have different reasons why he isn't into anal sex. 

 

[singalion]

On 10/5/2025 at 1:12 AM, yoyo74 said:

Anal sex is a definitely a no for me. I dont even like oral sex or rim or tongue kissing as well.

I only enjoy touching the chest and abs of lean fit guys and also being touched.

As for partner living together in the future i am quite into open relationship as i believe its fine to love more than one guy. I will even encourage the one i like to have more fun to experience with more people and of cause to live together need all to agree to it. Group fun is also ok for me.

 

I only require the people that live with me be the one i like, be friendly easy going personality, care towards each other, exercise together with me for example a weekly run, eat together with me and hopefully can eat vegetarian with me occasionally, lots of hugging and cuddling, understand each other. I already have several very close friend for such a setup and i am still in the process of getting more such people

 

 

But that sounds more like a close buddy than any male sex partner. 

 

The question to me in your case would be, how do you release, or do you at all? 

 

To sum up, for most of us your preference on the "light" touching without any ejaculation wouldn't be satisfying or leading to any "satisfying" orgasm. 

Might also psychologically won't be satisfying, because it is like interrupting the usual process of ending with an ejaculation. 

 

Edited October 7, 2025 by singalion

[cutejack]

6 hours ago, kalel said:

 

Why are you always so critical about others' opinion(s) when it went against your believe? Could you be a little more acceptance towards others' opinion or preference? Everyone has his own needs/preferences yeah.

 

Have you not heard of this term - asexual (applicable to anyone, including straight couples)? In short, asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to others, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity. (Read more --> here)

 

Not critical la. Maybe I should have put laughing emoji end of my sentence. I missed it. 

Seriously no gay ever said disgusting fucking a shit hole la. That's what I'm saying n not against it. I believe that everyone's has different point of view. 

Why u get vey critical to my post la. OK OK I better keep quiet.😑😑😑

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[yoyo74]

9 hours ago, singalion said:

 

But that sounds more like a close buddy than any male sex partner. 

 

The question to me in your case would be, how do you release, or do you at all? 

 

To sum up, for most of us your preference on the "light" touching without any ejaculation wouldn't be satisfying or leading to any "satisfying" orgasm. 

Might also psychologically won't be satisfying, because it is like interrupting the usual process of ending with an ejaculation. 

 

To release i can do it alone and dont need other to do it with me. As for my experience on the fun touching around half of the guys wont be able to control and need ejaculate at the end of the fun session while the other half like me wont have the urge to ejaculate and just be satisfy on the touching fun

[yoyo74]

6 hours ago, cutejack said:

Not critical la. Maybe I should have put laughing emoji end of my sentence. I missed it. 

Seriously no gay ever said disgusting fucking a shit hole la. That's what I'm saying n not against it. I believe that everyone's has different point of view. 

Why u get vey critical to my post la. OK OK I better keep quiet.😑😑😑

🤣🤣🤣🤣

If all the gays you met are all anal sex lovers than they wont say such stuff. You will need to ask those gays who dont do anal sex stuff (Side role) if you want to see their point of view. Even Sides guys have different reasons of not doing anal sex. Most Side guys would rather not put their opinion publicly as they know they will be ridicule or shut down by some anal lovers

[Steve5380]

8 hours ago, yoyo74 said:

To release i can do it alone and dont need other to do it with me. As for my experience on the fun touching around half of the guys wont be able to control and need ejaculate at the end of the fun session while the other half like me wont have the urge to ejaculate and just be satisfy on the touching fun

 

Let's not forget that for us the lucky who were not initiated in sex by seduction or rape, we had our first ejaculations thanks to our hands  ( the left one in my case ).  This kind of release can always be used, regardless of what other ways we find.   This is how I was able to live through puberty and early adult before I had my first sexual contact in my mid 20s.  This was 100% safe!   Although we can give up a little bit of safety having sex with others, but intelligently.  It is like not giving up our flying over long distances although some fatal accidents happen very rarely.    

[Steve5380]

On 9/28/2025 at 10:38 AM, singalion said:

but in Singapore with the top “side” spot worldwide, there should be plenty of relationships not doing anal.

 

 

I seeee...   Maybe this is why I had so much good sex in Singapore without having to yield to someone desperate to be topped... 😃

[Damienzo]

On 10/7/2025 at 7:24 AM, cutejack said:

First time hearing a gay saying that feel dirty n disgusting playing with shit hole.It's like str8 saying that he feels dirty n disgusting playing with urine hole. What sia.

 

Before I got attached, I also have this impression that anal sex feels dirty. But after knowing my bf, my view point changed. We have yet to engage in anal but now I feel that it maybe an intimate act between a gay couple that will bring the relationship to next level. So I’m kinda open to it. Only thing is, I haven’t figure out which role I will play as when it eventually come 

[kjs2221]

Anal is Lust, Not Love.

[Damienzo]

1 hour ago, kjs2221 said:

Anal is Lust, Not Love.

Not quite sure I would agree with this statement. 

If a heterosexual couple get together and eventually got married and they abstained from sex and doesn’t consummate the marriage, it is generally regarded as abnormal or simply put, there is no love between them. 
But when a homosexual couple engages in anal sex, it is considered as lust?! So can we say then that a heterosexual couple who engages in sex is also lust and no love between them? 

Edited October 10, 2025 by Damienzo

[Steve5380]

3 hours ago, Damienzo said:

Not quite sure I would agree with this statement. 

If a heterosexual couple get together and eventually got married and they abstained from sex and doesn’t consummate the marriage, it is generally regarded as abnormal or simply put, there is no love between them. 
But when a homosexual couple engages in anal sex, it is considered as lust?! So can we say then that a heterosexual couple who engages in sex is also lust and no love between them? 

 

If there is love in a couple, should this mean that anal or vaginal penetrations are not mostly lust?  In so many animals, we included, penetration is a must for reproduction.  But I doubt that all these animal penetrations are due to love alone.  And we can be sure that they must also happen between animals who don't feel any love for each other.  Whoever or whatever designed the animal kingdom may have thought:  how to make sure that they reproduce?  Regardless of their love for each other, let's force them to do it by pure LUST!

[Damienzo]

25 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

 

If there is love in a couple, should this mean that anal or vaginal penetrations are not mostly lust?  In so many animals, we included, penetration is a must for reproduction.  But I doubt that all these animal penetrations are due to love alone.  And we can be sure that they must also happen between animals who don't feel any love for each other.  Whoever or whatever designed the animal kingdom may have thought:  how to make sure that they reproduce?  Regardless of their love for each other, let's force them to do it by pure LUST!

My take is that Lust and Love are somewhat correlated. Love can also invoke certain elements of Lust. To say that a sex act itself takes place solely due to Lust is in general, a sweeping statement 

[Steve5380]

10 hours ago, Damienzo said:

My take is that Lust and Love are somewhat correlated. Love can also invoke certain elements of Lust. To say that a sex act itself takes place solely due to Lust is in general, a sweeping statement 

 

My take is that love and lust are completely different feelings.  This does not rule out that they can coexist.  But Love is something spiritual, while Lust is something physical. We love our parents, our children, but...  god forbid... there should be no lust in this.  We can be driven nearly exclusivity by lust in a gay sauna,  although there is present a "background" love we feel for individuals we are attracted to.   Like when having sex with a cute Asian, I feel the love I have for most cute Asians   

[sadnessluv]

nowadays apart from being 'top', 'bottom' there is also 'side', as defined:

 

"In gay terms, a "side" is a gay man who does not engage in anal intercourse, either as a top or a bottom, but still enjoys other sexual activities like oral sex, manual stimulation, or kissing. This term, which gained prominence around 2022, provides a label for men who prefer sexual activities outside of the traditional penetrative top/bottom/versatile binary"

[AlvenSummer]

No. Not necessary. There's always ways to find different kind of pleasure in satisfying one another needs. Just need to be open and wild.

Most importantly is be open and communicate and knowing what each other wants. There may be times one insist to have anal while the other don't. Hence, respect and communicate are crucial. 

[singalion]

2 hours ago, sadnessluv said:

nowadays apart from being 'top', 'bottom' there is also 'side', as defined:

 

"In gay terms, a "side" is a gay man who does not engage in anal intercourse, either as a top or a bottom, but still enjoys other sexual activities like oral sex, manual stimulation, or kissing. This term, which gained prominence around 2022, provides a label for men who prefer sexual activities outside of the traditional penetrative top/bottom/versatile binary"

 

under penetrative sex  oral is also grouped. 

 

Side means more or less exclusive of anal sex. 

 

[doncoin]

On 10/12/2025 at 12:58 AM, sadnessluv said:

nowadays apart from being 'top', 'bottom' there is also 'side', as defined:

 

"In gay terms, a "side" is a gay man who does not engage in anal intercourse, either as a top or a bottom, but still enjoys other sexual activities like oral sex, manual stimulation, or kissing. This term, which gained prominence around 2022, provides a label for men who prefer sexual activities outside of the traditional penetrative top/bottom/versatile binary"

 

 

Isn't that what we used to do in secondary school or NS? I had a friend in the swim team and we used to wank off together in the showers. 

[OziBoi]

No…. I’ve been seeing someone for the past 7 months and anal was never a big thing or a need… it was more based around intimacy and connection! 

Edited June 30 by OziBoi

[AlifBttm]

This is a good topic.. previously, I met one guy and initially, he mentioned that no anal is required as he knows im not into anal but willing to do other stuff but after few date, he decided not to continue n tell me he wants anal which I cant give. I mean to some, perhaps they still wants it.

[EastSgDad]

Personally, a strong relationship does NOT need anal commitment.  

In fact, it is the mutual respect, love, trust, faithfulness that binds both together. 

Monogamous. Exclusivity.

 

Just my 2-cent worth 😀

Edited June 28 by EastSgDad

[Dart]

A relationship does not necessarily involve anal. There are long established couples who do not practise anal. Unless one is hard up for anal then the other should oblige. Intimacy like oral, kissing & romance which many find amazingly fantastic! 69 for two tops, wow! I like. How about two bottoms? I guess external help is needed 😆

 

Above all, the strength of a relationship is based on true, sincere feeling and compatibility which does not fade with appearance and time when sex would.

[Kanova]

I think sex in relationship is important. But not necessarily anal. Importantly, both party must talk it out and mutually agreed on something. Or sometime just let it be spontaneous. Don't cling on too rigidly. Let the intimacy and connection brings you to where you both needs to go. Who knows what will happen. 

[EastSgDad]

1 minute ago, Kanova said:

I think sex in relationship is important. But not necessarily anal. Importantly, both party must talk it out and mutually agreed on something. Or sometime just let it be spontaneous. Don't cling on too rigidly. Let the intimacy and connection brings you to where you both needs to go. Who knows what will happen. 

Well said 👏🏼

[Tim Lee]

Need you guys opinion .

Do you all think that to sustain a relationship, having anal sex is compulsory?

Cuz some shared to say that no anal sex means totally no relationship.

Wouldn’t sides be sufficient?

 

[cbm]

6 hours ago, Tim Lee said:

Need you guys opinion .

Do you all think that to sustain a relationship, having anal sex is compulsory?

Cuz some shared to say that no anal sex means totally no relationship.

Wouldn’t sides be sufficient?

 

 

Then go for a relationship where both are side. No need anal for that.

[doncoin]

Side "sex" is foreplay which is all good. But anal, brings a deeper degree of intimacy (to me at least) where you are literally inside the other person. 

[aftereightme]

5 minutes ago, doncoin said:

Side "sex" is foreplay which is all good. But anal, brings a deeper degree of intimacy (to me at least) where you are literally inside the other person. 

Absolutely 💯 agreed 👍 The bottom must clean his hole 🕳 😳 first (i hate dirty bottoms - no sense of hygiene)

[cbm]

My thoughts: 

 

on anal being inside him: with side fun you can still be inside him. Oral sex and face fucking  means you are inside him.

 

On anal being intimate: it's not. People can be perfectly fine having a stranger fuck them in the ass but cannot kiss them on the lips.

 

On intimacy in relationship: you want to be inside his mind. That's what being in a relationship is

 

On anal being a must: the reality is, not everyone enjoys bottoming. I would hope that pure tops who don't want to receive anal would be more understanding of the situation. Otherwise it would be a glaring double standard. Why would you guys tolerate double standards?

Edited Monday at 06:18 PM by cbm

[Balestier]

21 hours ago, Tim Lee said:

Need you guys opinion .

Do you all think that to sustain a relationship, having anal sex is compulsory?

Cuz some shared to say that no anal sex means totally no relationship.

Wouldn’t sides be sufficient?

 

Gays get bored w sex w same person after a few. Most bottoms will want anal as its feels complete in a relationship. For tops its optional as its very tiring like a cardio exercise