Am I seeking what I want the right way, or am I simply asking too much? Need opinions.

[SSSir]

Good day, this is my first post. I am seeking Ltr and have few doubts.

 

1. How should I position myself in the app.

I am seeking a partner using Grindr, as I found my ex through Grindr (who broke up with me due to long distance).

I put up shirtless pictures and tell others I don't like to hook up when they approach me.
Yes, I am not a big fan of hooking up. My first experience was with a girl. She made me aware that I am attracted to guys instead. For me, sex with her was better than "dead fish" fun with an attractive guy because of the connection we had, and we tried our best to make each other feel good while doing it.

Someone told me I should make more mistakes and have repulsive acts before I get old. I wonder if I should position myself as a "no hookup" person? 

 

2. I will feel hollow if the fun is just "fuck and go." How to stop feeling that way?

 

I need to at least cuddle overnight so I don't feel that way. Cuddling without the fun would be great too. 

The meetup scene goes like this:
-> We mutually agree to cuddle and chat.
-> We meet up at his place.
-> The guy gets really horny after we meet and wants to have fun before I can generate feelings for him.
-> I help him release even though I am actually not turned on (a bit of light fun).
-> That guy loses interest and gets sleepy. I understand that physiological condition as a guy. I will just leave, feeling like it was a waste of my time.

I don't meet guys that frequently, maybe once every few months. But this has happened about three times.
When I say the guy gets really horny, it does not indicate that I am super attractive; I am just a normal guy. However, this indicates that my tempo and needs mismatch with most guys on the application. What advice would you give me if I don't want to feel that way?

 

3. Is my standard high?

 

Looks-wise, I hate myself for this. I am only turned on by lean and fit guys, which is the hardest type to achieve. My body type is as shown in my profile picture. Regarding face and body odor, just taking care of hygiene is good enough. I want to escape this aesthetic preference, but I simply can't.

I don't mind if the guy is rich or poor; I am self-sustainable. In fact, I feel pressure if the guy is rich. When a rich guy I meet brings me to those fancy places that I cannot afford regularly, I refuse to let him pay for me. 

I hope the guy is someone who is kind, has curiosity, don't need to be smart but can be in a conversation.

I don't mind that much about age. I am 27 myself, and ideally, the age difference should be within 7 years.

 

Is my standard reasonable?

 

That's all, thanks for reading.

 

 

 

Edited June 3 by SSSir

[feilyxnixx]

Hi there.

 

1) Grindr is for hooking up 99% of the time. Use something else like tinder CMB or etc if u are just looking for serious relations.

 

1+2) State your motive VERY CLEARLY. Do u want sex? Or just cuddle? Or stay overnight? Etc etc.

Everyone has their own needs , but outside ppl will only know ur needs if u tell them.

And there is nothing wrong in sticking to what u want. If someone's fun doesnt match urs , then dont match. Dont even try to force it.

 

3) Ah the typical ownself look for ownself. Nobody will fault for this , but just take note that u will be restricting urself from meeting more ppl. It depends on urself if u want to lower ur standards or be more open to options. Accountability and responsibility on YOURSELF , not others.

 

I do hope u find what u want soon. 😁

[sum1outhere_03]

Tinder would be a "better" platform if you're looking for dating. But of course, need to clarify through text cos there might be pple who are looking for sex there also  

 

Edited June 3 by sum1outhere_03

[SSSir]

6 hours ago, feilyxnixx said:

Hi there.

 

1) Grindr is for hooking up 99% of the time. Use something else like tinder CMB or etc if u are just looking for serious relations.

 

1+2) State your motive VERY CLEARLY. Do u want sex? Or just cuddle? Or stay overnight? Etc etc.

Everyone has their own needs , but outside ppl will only know ur needs if u tell them.

And there is nothing wrong in sticking to what u want. If someone's fun doesnt match urs , then dont match. Dont even try to force it.

 

3) Ah the typical ownself look for ownself. Nobody will fault for this , but just take note that u will be restricting urself from meeting more ppl. It depends on urself if u want to lower ur standards or be more open to options. Accountability and responsibility on YOURSELF , not others.

 

I do hope u find what u want soon. 😁

 

2 hours ago, sum1outhere_03 said:

Tinder would be a "better" platform if you're looking for dating. But of course, need to clarify through text cos there might be pple who are looking for sex there also  

 

I tried tinder, seems like less responsive compared with grindr. So I uninstall even though I do have some matches.

[evilR]

Hinge is the best app if you’re looking to date. Give it a go if you haven’t already. 

Edited June 3 by evilR