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Joke: Shipping Magnate

If someone makes their fortune in ships, we call them a shipping magnate.

 

If someone makes their fortune in oil, we call them an oil magnate.

 

What do you call someone who makes their fortune selling fridges?

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Valentine’s Day Flowers

My wife just called me and said, “Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentine’s Day. They are absolutely gorgeous!”

 

I replied, “That’s probably why they’ve received flowers then.”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Bathroom Break

On the first day of school, about mid-morning, the kindergarten teacher said, “If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers.”

A little voice from the back of the room asked, “How will that help?”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: My daughter went to a local Taco...

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce."

He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.


 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: At the doctor

I went to my doctor yesterday. After a long wait in the outer office, my name was finally called.

 

When I got into the examining room, the nurse pointed to the scale and said, “I need to get your weight today.”

I immediately replied, “One hour and 5 minutes.”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: About My Spine

Do you remember the joke I told you recently about my spine?

 

It was about a weak back.

 

I re-labelled all the jars in my wife’s spice rack.

 

I’m not in trouble yet but the thyme is cumin…

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Picked Up by the Fuzz


“Hey, lover,” said the hipster to the beautiful chick he’d just met. “Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?” 

“No,” she answered, “but I bet it hurts like hell.”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: I Have A Soar Throat


A blonde goes to the doctor’s office, sits down, and says, “I have a sore throat.” 

The doctor gets out his penlight and says, “Open wide.” 

She says, “I can’t. The chair has arms.”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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