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Joke: Sundial

Son: “Hey Dad, how does a sundial work?”

 

Dad hands son a phone…

 

Dad: “Ok, now just call someone.”

 

Son: “Why can’t you do it?”

 

Dad: “Because that would be a daddial.”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Time Machine

When I was a little boy, a strange man stepped out of a time machine and punched me for no reason.

 

Now at last I’ve managed to invent a time machine of my own, so I’m going to go back to when he was a little boy so I can punch him and see how he likes it.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Intergalactic Intervention
 

A group of extra-terrestrials were sent to earth to monitor and/or stop the use of nuclear weapons. The first creature they made contact with was a chimpanzee. Mistakenly they mistook the chimp as being the dominant species of planet earth.

After scanning the chimp one of them looked at the others and said, “This must be a mistake, perhaps we’re on the wrong planet.”

One of the other Aliens said, “You may be right. It’s obvious these beings are far too intelligent to use nuclear power in a destructive way.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: De-Cluttering One's Life
 

An older woman asked her techie grandson, "What's the deal with this Craigslist thing?"

"It's a website where you can buy and sell all kinds of things and more," he replied.

"Can you get rid of stuff there?" she asked.

"Yes, you can set a price or give things away that you don't want around the house anymore."

"I like the give-away free idea. How do I get started?" the woman asked.

"Well, it's always good to have a picture," the grandson said.

"OK. Will this old wedding photo do?"

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: My Partner's Hand


The hostess of her bridge club got a last minute call from one of the players that she was sick. Unable to get a replacement on such short notice, she drafted her husband, a mediocre player with an attitude.

During the game, he got up and went to the bathroom, leaving the door ajar. Everyone listened as he urinated into the toilet.

Embarrassed, his wife called out, "John, would you please close the door!"

John's partner said, "Never mind, it's the first time since we started playing that I've known what the man has in his hand."

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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 Joke: The Woman Is Extremely Hot  


A hot girl walks into the doctor's office and sits down.

 

The doctor sees that the woman is extremely hot. He walks up and wastes no time, he slides his hands up her shirt and starts caressing her boobs and says, "Do you know what I’m doing?"

She says, "Yes, you are feeling for cancer right?"

"Yeah, o yeah."

After that he starts taking off the woman’s pants and starts massaging her thighs and says, "Do you know what I’m doing now?"

"Yes, you are feeling for cancer right?"

"Yes, that's exactly it, feeling for cancer." After that he pulls off his pants gets on top of her and says, "Do you know what I’m doing now?"

She says, "Yes I do! You are checking for genital warts because you know that’s why I came here."

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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