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Joke: How You Earned It A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I

Joke: The Best to Operate On  Four doctors were talking to each other about who was the best patient to operate on. The first doctor said, "The best person to operate on are librarians cause

Joke: First sperm   Once there was a sperm named Bob. When all the other sperm were just swimming around, Bob was doing sprints and lifting weights. One day, all the other sperms asked him,

Joke: Disgusting! 


Two farmers walking through a field; one stoop down and dips his finger in some cow dung and rubs it across his lips.

The second farmer asks him why he did such a disgusting thing.

The first one replies, ‘I have chapped lips!'. The second one asks him, ‘does it make them better?' He replies,' No! But it stops you from licking them!'

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Wedding Night

Maria had just gotten married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin.


On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous.

But her mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Maria. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you."

So up she went.

When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and said, "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest."

"Don't worry, Maria," said her mother," all good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you."

Up she went again.

When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs.

Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother, "Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs!"

"Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go up stairs and he'll take good care of you."

Up she went again.

When she got up there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs.

"Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!"

"Stay here and stir the pasta," said her mother.

"This is a job for Mama."

 

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Joke: Introduced lawyers

"You are a cheat!" shouted the attorney to his opponent.


"And you're a liar!" bellowed the opposition.

Banging his gavel loudly, the judge interjected, "Now that both attorneys have been identified for the record, let's get on with the case."

 

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Joke: Speech Impediment

Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints down at the local bar, when one said to the other: "If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?"


"Yeah, sure thing," replied his friend, "fire away."

"Well," said the first guy, "why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?"

"It's probably because of her speech impediment," replied the second guy.

"What do you mean her speech impediment?"

inquired the first fellow.

"My wife doesn't have a speech impediment!"

"Well," replied his friend, "you must be the only guy who hasn't noticed that she can't say 'NO'!!"

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Joke: Cured!

Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under ... you gotta help me, I'm going crazy!"

"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"A hundred dollars per visit."

"I'll sleep on it," said Shakey.

Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street.

"Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.

"For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for tendollars."

"Is that so! How?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"

 

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 Joke: Buying A Chainsaw

This fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his back yard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws. The dealer tells him, "Look, I have a lot of models, but why don't you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line model. This chainsaw will cut a hundred cords of wood for you in one day." 


So, the man takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees. After cutting for several hours and only cutting two cords, he decides to quit. He thinks there is something wrong with the chainsaw. "How can I cut for hours and only cut two cords?" the man asks himself. "I will begin first thing in the morning and cut all day," the man tells himself. So, the next morning the man gets up at 4 am in the morning and cuts and cuts, and cuts till nightfall, and still he only manages to cut five cords. 


The man is convinced this is a bad saw. "The dealer told me it would cut one hundred cords of wood in a day, no problem. I will take this saw back to the dealer," the man says to himself. 
The very next day the man brings the saw back to the dealer and explains the problem. The dealer, baffled by the man's claim, removes the chainsaw from the case. The dealer says, "Hmm, it looks fine."


Then the dealer starts the chainsaw, to which the man responds, "What's that noise? 
 

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Joke: Moral Of The Story


Story: One day, a cat and a rooster went for a walk. The cat slipped and fell into a pond full of water. When it came out, it was all wet.

The rooster laughed his heart out.

Moral of the story: Where there is a wet pussy, there is a happy cock

 

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Joke: A 70-year-old man has never be...

A 70-year-old man has never been married. One day, he meets a beautiful 17-year-old girl, and it is love at first sight. They get married and go to Florida for their honeymoon. When they get back, his friend says to him, "So, tell me, how was it?"

"Oh, it was beautiful," says the man. "The sun, the surf, we made love almost every night, we -"

His friend interrupts him. "A man your age! How did you make love almost every night?"

"Oh," says the man, "we almost made love Monday, we almost made love Tuesday..."

 

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Joke: No a Member

Three women are in a gym locker room dressing up to play racquetball when suddenly a guy runs through the room wearing nothing but a bag over his head.


He passes the first woman, who looks down at his penis. "He's not my husband," she says.

He passes by the second woman, who also looks down at his penis. "He's not my husband either."

He passes by the third woman, who also looks down as he runs by her.

"Wait a minute," she says. "He's not even a member of this club."

 

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 Joke: Are you the young fellow...

Old Man: "Are you the young fellow who sold me this tube yesterday and told me it was toothpaste?"


Clerk: "Yes sir."


Old Man: "Well, I tried for half an hour this morning and I couldn't get my teeth to stick in."

Edited by worldangel

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Joke: Phobia

A man went to a psychiatrist for his phobia. 
"Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. You gotta help me, I'm going crazy!" 


"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink, "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." 
"How much do you charge?" 
"A hundred dollars per visit." 


"I'll sleep on it," said the man. 
Six months later the doctor met the man on the street. 
"Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. 
"For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars." 
"Is that so! How?" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"

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Joke: Helping Your Father

A clergyman walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.
"You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand."
"No thanks," said the young man.


"My father wouldn't like it."
"Don't be silly," the minister said.
"Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water."


Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, "Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!"


"Well," replied the young farmer, "he's under the load of hay." 

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Joke: Wedding & Babies

 

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.


The Honeymooners are now having bile studies each Tuesday evening at 7:30 p.m.
The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for the girth of their first child.


Thursday at 5:00 pm, there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his private study.


(For the group of ladies called Moms Who Care and pray for the children in school). When their meeting was cancelled one week: "There will be no Moms who care this week." 

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 Joke: Harvesting a profit...

A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the road, and the car became bogged.

After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving some oxen before him.

He stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and offered to pull the car out of the mud for $50. The husband accepted, and minutes later, the car was free.

The farmer turned to the husband and said, "You know, you're the tenth car I've helped out of the mud today."

The husband looks around at the fields, incredulously, and asks the farmer, "When do you have time to plough your land? At night?

"No," the young farmer replied, seriously. "Night is when I put the water in the hole."

 

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Joke: Horse Tears

A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself. As he walks up to the bar the bartender asks, "what's the matter?"


The fellow replies, "well I've got these two horses (sniff, sniff), and well... I can't tell them apart. I don't know if I'm mixing up riding times or even feeding them the right foods."

The bartender, feeling sorry for the guy, tries to think of something he can do.

"Why don't you try shaving the tail of one of the horses?"

The man stops crying and says, "that sounds like a good idea, I think I'll try it."

A few months later he comes back to the bar in worse condition than he was before.

"What's the matter now?"

the bartender asks.

The fellow, in no condition to be in public, answers, "I shaved the tail of one of the horses (sob, sob), but it grew back and I can't tell them apart again!"

The bartender, now just wanting him to shut up or leave says, "why don't you try shaving the mane, maybe that will not grow back."

The fellow stops crying, has a few drinks, and leaves. A few months later the fellow is back in the bar. The bartender has never seen anybody in this sorry of a state. Without the bartender even asking the fellow breaks into his problems. "I.. I shaved the (sob) mane of one of the (sniff) horses, and... it... it... grew back!"

The bartenter, now furious at the guy's general stupidity, yells, "for crying out loud, just measure the stupid horses. Perhaps one is slightly taller that the other one!" The fellow can not believe what the bartender has said and storms out of the bar.

The next day the fellow comes running back into the bar as if he had just won the lottery.

"It worked, it worked!" he exclaims.

"I measured the horses and the black one is two inches taller than the white one!"

 

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Joke: The Blind Skydiver

A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door with my seeing eye dog and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me and out I go with the dog."


"But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked. "I have a very keen sense of smell, and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground" he answered.


"But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked. He quickly answered: "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack."
 

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Joke: A New Recruit 


A new recruit joins the foreign legion, after 6 months he is desperate for sex. He asked an old member, "What do you do for Sex around here?"

The man replied, "We use Doris."

"Who's Doris?" The man replied, "Camel in stable." The new recruiter said, "Yuk I'm not that desperate."

After a year, he can't take it any more. He walks to the stable, grabs a stool and starts humping the Camel. In walks an Old member and looks disgusted. "Uh you pervert, we use Doris to ride to the Brothel!"

 

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Joke: Beyond the Call of Duty

"Give me a sentence about a public servant," said the teacher.

 

The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."

 

The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.

 

"Sure," said the young boy, confidently. "Means carrying a child."

 

 

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JokeThree old men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily dysfunctions.

 

One 75-year-old man says: "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at 7 a.m. and it takes me 20 minutes to pee."

 

An 80-year-old man says: "My case is worse. I get up at 8 a.m. and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement."

 

The 90-year-old man says: "Not me. At 7 a.m. I pee like a horse and at 8 a.m. I crap like a cow."

 

"So what's your problem?" asked the others.

 

"I don't wake up until 9:00."

 

 

 

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Joke: Shingles...

A guy walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He said, "shingles." So she took down his name, address, and medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked him what he had. He said, "shingles." So she took down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told him to wait in the examining room.

A half-hour later, a nurse came in and asked him what he had. He said, "shingles." She gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, told him to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and asked him what he had. He said, "shingles." The doctor said, "Where?" He said, "Outside in the truck. Where do you want them?"

 

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 Joke: Use The Word

A pre-school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word "definitely" in a sentence?"
First a little girl says, "The sky is definitely blue."


The teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can also be grey or orange."
Then a little boy says, "Trees are definitely green."
"Sorry, but in the autumn the trees are brown."


Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks, "Does a fart have lumps?"
The teacher looks horrified and says, "Johnny! Of course not!"
"OK. Then I have definitely shit my pants."

 

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Joke: A Roll Of The Dice

Two bored casino dealers were waiting at the craps tables for players when a gorgeous blonde lady wearing a huge fur coat walked in and asked if she could bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.
The dealers said yes and were happy to oblige.

She then said, "I hope you don't mind, but I'll feel much luckier if I take off my coat." With that, she took off her coat and was wearing a skin-tight Wonder-woman outfit!

The men looked her up and down as she leaned over the table, rolled the dice, and yelled, "Come on baby, come on!"

She then jumped up and down, hugging each of the casino dealers while yelling "YES, I WIN! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, I WIN!!" With that, she picked up her winnings and quickly left.

The dealers stood there staring at each other dumbfounded, until one finally asked the other, "What the heck did she roll anyway?"

The second dealer answered, "I don't know. I thought you were paying attention!"

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 Joke: Doctor and patient...

Just as a surgeon was finishing up an operation and was about to close, the patient awakes, sits up, and demands to know what is going on.

"I'm about to close," the surgeon says.

The patient grabs the surgeon's hand and says, "I'm not going to let you do that! I'll close my own incision!"

The doctor hands him the needle and thread and says, "Suture self."

 

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Joke: When I was married, my wife us...

When I was married, my wife used to call me handsome. As a matter of fact, we are now divorced but she STILL calls me handsome.


Every time I have some money, she says, HANDSOME OVER.
 

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 Joke: Question time....

Mr. Smythe had been giving his second-grade students a short lesson on science. He had explained about magnets and showed them how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. And now it was question time....

"Class," he said, "my name begins with the letter 'M,' and I pick up things....What am I?"

A little boy on the front row said, "You're a mother."

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 Joke: Slight Differences

 

If you can touch it and you can see it, it's REAL.

If you can touch it but you can't see it, it's TRANSPARENT.

If you can't touch it but you can see it, it's VIRTUAL.

If you can't touch it and you can't see it, it's GONE.

 

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Joke: Bee Inconspicuous

Two bees ran into each other. The first bee asked the other how things were going. 


"Really bad," said the second bee. "The weather has been really wet and damp and there aren't any flowers or pollen, so I can't make any honey." 


"No problem," said the first bee. "Just fly down five blocks and turn left. Keep going until you see all the cars. There's a Bar Mitzvah going on and there are all kinds of fresh flowers and fruit." 


"Thanks for the tip," said the second bee, and he flew away. 
A few hours later, the two bees ran into each other again. The first bee asked, "How'd it go?" "Great!" said the second bee. "It was everything you said it would be." 


"Uh, what's that thing on your head?" asked the first bee. 
"That's my yarmulke," said the second bee. "I didn't want them to think I was a wasp."

 

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 Joke: A string walks into a bar and ...

 

A string walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender turns to him and says, "Sorry, sir, we don't serve strings here." The next day, clinging to a thread, the string returns to that same bar and orders a drink again.

 

The bartender, resolute, again turns and says, "I'm sorry, sir, but like I said, we don't serve strings here. I'm going to have to ask you not to return." Dejected, the string returns home. All night he tosses and turns, wriggles and writhes, and awakes the next morning not at all resembling himself.

 

Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror, he brightens and jets out his door to that bar. Swaggering in, he orders a drink one more time. The bartender stares at him, squinty eyed, and asks, "I'm sorry, are you a string? You look very familiar."

 

The string locks eyes with the bartender, and states, "No, sir. I'm a frayed knot."

 

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Joke: An old man is afraid that his ...

An old man is afraid that his wife is loosing her hearing.

 

So, he walks up right to her ear and asks, "Can you hear me?" She didn't answer.

 

He walked up closer and asked again. But there was no answer.

 

Finally he asked her one more time really loud and his wife said, "for the third time yes!!!"

 

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 Joke: Life choices...

 

An older man was married to a younger woman. After several years of a very happy marriage, he had a heart attack. The doctor advised him that in order to prolong his life, they should cut out sex.

 

He and his wife discussed the matter and decided that he should sleep in the family room downstairs to save them both from temptation.

One night, after several weeks of this, he decided that life without sex wasn't worth living. So he headed upstairs. He met his wife on the staircase and said, "I was coming to die."

 

She laughed and replied, "I was just coming down to kill you!"

 

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 Joke: An airplane encountered some turbulence...

An airplane encountered some turbulence, it started juddering and rocking noticeably from side to side. The flight crew wheeled out the drinks cart to keep the passengers calm. 

The attendant asked a business man, "Would you like a drink?" 

"Why not?" he replied unkindly, "I'll have whatever the pilot's been having."

 

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Joke: Dropped Your Wallet

Two fishermen were out on the lake when one of them dropped his wallet.

 

As they watched the wallet float down to the depths of the lake, a carp came along and snatched up the wallet.

 

Soon came another carp who stole it away and then a third joined in.

 

Remarked one of the fisherman, "That's the first time I've ever seen carp-to-carp walleting."

 

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Joke: The Ring

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. 
He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. 


The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. 
The old man said, "I don't think you understand, I want something very special." 


At that Statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. 
"Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said. The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. 
The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it." 


The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, by check. "I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said. 


Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man. "There's no money in that account." 
"I know," said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?" 


Don't mess with Old People.

 

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Joke: Best room in the hotel?

The drunk staggered up to the hotel reception and demanded his room be changed.

"But sir," said the clerk, "you have the best room in the hotel."

"I insist on another room!!" said the drunk.

"Very good, sir. I`ll change you from 502 to 555. Would you mind telling me why you don't like 502?" asked the clerk.

"Well, for one thing," said the drunk, "it's on fire."

 

 

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 Joke: Did You Ever..


Reminiscing with her girlfriend about their childhood, the young woman asked, “Did you ever play with jacks?”

“Oh, yes,” her friend replied. “And with Johnny’s and Tommy’s, too.

 

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 Joke: Twelves Inches 


This woman stands up on a bar stool and yells, “I don’ screw anybody unless he’s got a twelve inch cock!

This guy in the corner yells out, “I don’t cut off two inches for anybody!”

 

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 Joke: Two Roaches Discussion

 

Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant.


"I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines."

 

"Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"

 

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Joke: A man was checking into a hotel..

 

A man was checking into a hotel when he saw a golden retriever sitting on a rug near the hotel elevator. Talking to the man behind the desk, he asked, "Does your dog bite?" The attendant said, "No, he doesn't." But as the man let his hand down to pat the dog, it bit his hand and held on so tightly that the man had to throw him across the room.

Returning to the desk, the man said, "I thought you said that your dog didn't bite." He directed the attendant's attention to the dog, who now had returned to the rug. The attendant simply answered, "My friend that is NOT my dog."

 

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Joke: Name plates

Three young women were hired by an insurance company on the same day.
A year later the boss said each of them was due for a promotion, and that each woman would get her own office with her name on the door.

One day one of the women came in and found to her surprise that the other women had already moved into their own offices.

Going to her boss's office, she asked when her own office would be provided.

He pulled back his chair from his desk and unzipped his fly. "See this?" he asked, "This is quality, and in this company, quality goes in before the name goes on."

 

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Joke: John received a free ticket to...

John received a free ticket to the Super Bowl. Unfortunately. John's seat was in the last row in the corner of the stadium. He was closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the stadium.

 

He noticed an empty seat 10 rows up from the 50-yard line. He decides to make his way to the empty seat. As he sits down he asks the man next to him if anyone is sitting there. The man told him no, it was empty. John is very excited to have a seat like this at a Super Bowl and asks why in the world no one is using it?

 

The man replied that it was his wife's seat but she passed away. He said this was the first Super Bowl that they have not attended together since they were married in 1968. John said that it was really sad and asked if he couldn't find someone, a relative or a close friend to take the seat?

"No" replied the man, "They're at her funeral!"

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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 Joke: A picky customer

A picky customer comes to a small food shop and sees a new delivery of fresh fruit. 
"Give me two kilograms of oranges and wrap every orange up in a separate piece of paper, please," he says to the saleswoman. 
She does.


"And three kilograms of cherries, please, and wrap up every one in a separate piece of paper, too." 
She does.


"And what is that there," he asks pointing out a bushel basket in the corner.
"Raisins," says the saleswoman, "but they are not for sale!"

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Sally phoned her husband, Bill...

Sally phoned her husband, Bill, at work for a chat. 

"I'm sorry dear," said Bill, "but I'm up to my neck in work today. I don't have time to chat." 

Sally replied, "But I've got some good news and some bad news for you, dear." 

"OK darling," said Bill, "but as I've got no time right now, just give me the good news." 

"Okay," agreed Sally. "Well, the air bag works!"

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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 Joke: List of Priorities

I don’t have any curtains in my apartment. I tried to buy curtains; I went to the store, I was like, I would like these curtains, please. And they were like, $40. And I was like, Nope.

 

Found out right then just how low on my list of priorities curtains were. It turns out Id rather get drunk once than ever have curtains for the rest of my life.


 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: A college pizza delivery boy a...

A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Mr. Smith. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Mr. Smith asked: "What is the usual tip?" 


"Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing great." 
"Is that so?" snorted Mr. Smith. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here's five dollars." 


"Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll put this in my school fund." 
"What are you studying in school?" asked Larry. 


The lad smiled and said: "Applied psychology." 
 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Change for a $15 bill

An incompetent counterfeiter spent all day making his funny money. At the end of the day he realizes he spent all his time making $15 bills.

He figures that the only way he's going to get anything from this batch of money, is to find a place where the people aren't too bright and change his phoney money for real cash.

He travels to a small town and walks into a small Mom and Pop grocery store. He goes to the old man behind the counter and asks him, "Do you have change for a $15 bill?"

The old man replies, "I sure do...How would you like that? An eight and a seven or two sixes and a three?"

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Jobs at the food company...

One day, three unemployed factory workers heard that a large food company was enlarging and needed more staff. So they went downtown to see if they could get themselves a job.

After filing out their applications, each one was interviewed and each one managed to get hired. As they were waiting to be assigned their new duties, a foreman came by and spoke to the hiring boss.

The foreman told the boss that he didn't think it was such a good idea as one of the workers had snapped for no apparent reason at his last job.

Also a second was said to have had cracked up after severe mental stress.

The third, he believed was their father who he felt was a bit odd but he couldn't put his finger on it.

The hiring boss reassured the foreman and said that they would start on something easy and after a week, the company would re-assess them to see if they would be kept on.

The foreman reluctantly agreed and asked the boss where he thought they should start.

The boss replied, "Why not take them and put them in our Cereal Division...Snap, Crackle and Pop should work out fine down there."

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Once upon a time there was a ….

Once upon a time there was a non-conforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter. However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly decided to fly south.

In a short time ice began to form on his wings and he fell to Earth in a barnyard, nearly frozen solid. A cow passed by where he had fallen, and crapped on the little sparrow. The sparrow thought it was the end, but the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings!


Warm and happy, able to breath, he started to sing.

Just then a large cat came by, and hearing the chirping he investigated the sounds. The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird, and promptly ate him.

The Moral of the Story:

Everyone who craps on you is not necessarily your enemy

Everyone who gets you out of crap is not necessarily your friend.

And if you're warm and happy in a pile of crap, you might just want to keep your mouth shut.

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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