worldangel Posted November 26, 2025 Posted November 26, 2025 Joke: Lottery Winnings I won $3 million on the Lottery this weekend. I decided to donate a quarter of it to Charity. Now I have $2,999,999.75! yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted November 27, 2025 Posted November 27, 2025 Joke: A grandfather always made a special ... A grandfather always made a special effort with his grandchildren. Many Sunday mornings he would take his 7-year old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some bonding time. One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold and he really didn't feel like being up at all. Luckily, grandma came to the rescue and said that she would take the grandchild out. When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see Grandpa. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted November 27, 2025 Posted November 27, 2025 Joke: Automobile Dealership When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. “Hey,” I announced to the technician, “it's open!” To which he replied, “I know — I already got that side.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted November 27, 2025 Posted November 27, 2025 Joke: I Don't Have Time My 5 year old daughter drew a nice picture of a princess and beautiful flowers and sunshine. Then she brought the picture to her daddy and said, "Daddy, this is a picture of you and me, but I don't have time to draw you." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted November 27, 2025 Posted November 27, 2025 Joke: A man realized he needed to purchase ... A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but didn't want to spend a lot of money. "How much do they cost?" he asked the salesman. "Anything from $2 to $2,000." "Can I see the $2 model?" said the customer. The salesman put the device around the man's neck, and said: "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down into your pocket." "How does it work?" asked the customer. "For $2, it doesn't work," said the salesman. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 5, 2025 Posted December 5, 2025 Joke: Single vs. Married Why are single women thinner than married women? Single women come home, look in their refrigerator, and go to bed. Married women come home, look in their bed, then go to the refrigerator! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 5, 2025 Posted December 5, 2025 Joke: A man was lying in bed with his... A man was lying in bed with his new girlfriend. After having great sex she spent the next hour just rubbing his testicles ... Something she just loved to do. As he was enjoying it, he turned and asked her, "Why do you love doing that?" "Because," she replied ... "I really miss mine." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 5, 2025 Posted December 5, 2025 Joke: Pray Before Eating Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Logan received his plate, he started eating right away. "Logan, wait until we say our prayer," his mother reminded him. "I don't have to," the little boy replied. "Of course you do," his mother insisted, "we say a prayer before eating at our house." "That's at our house," Logan explained, "but this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook." yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 5, 2025 Posted December 5, 2025 Joke: Good News A woman phones up her husband at work for a chat... Says He: "I'm sorry honey but I'm up to my neck in work today" Says She: "But I've got some good news and some bad news for you dear." Says He: "OK darling, but since I've got no time now, just give me the good news, OK?" Says She: "Well, the air bag works..." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 6, 2025 Posted December 6, 2025 Joke: Marry A Lawyer A doctor told her patient that his test results indicated that he had a rare disease and had only six months to live. "Isn't there anything I can do?", pleaded the patient. "Marry a lawyer," the doctor advised. "It will be the longest six months of your life." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 6, 2025 Posted December 6, 2025 Joke: A man placed some flowers on... A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?" The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 6, 2025 Posted December 6, 2025 Joke: A taxpayer received a strongly... A taxpayer received a strongly worded "second notice" that his taxes were overdue. Hastening to the collector's office, he paid his bill, saying apologetically that he had overlooked the first notice. "Oh," confided the collector with a smile, "we don't send out first notices. We have found that the second notices are more effective." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 6, 2025 Posted December 6, 2025 Joke: Sign Says Yield A hesitant driver, waiting for a traffic jam to clear, came to a complete stop on the freeway ramp. Traffic thinned, but the driver still waited. Finally, a furious voice from the vehicle behind him cried, “The sign says to yield, not give up!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 7, 2025 Posted December 7, 2025 Joke: Goodbye Disney As my family was leaving Disney World, my daughter waved and said, "Goodbye Minnie!" My son waved and said, "Goodbye Mickey!" I waved and said, "Goodbye money!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 7, 2025 Posted December 7, 2025 Joke: We Are The Best Of Friends The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will." "That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and then added, "Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a little change." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 7, 2025 Posted December 7, 2025 Joke: Locked Out Being the office supervisor, I had to have a word with a new employee who never arrived at work on time. I explained that her tardiness was unacceptable and that other employees had noticed that she was walking in late every day. After listening to my complaints, she agreed that this was a problem and even offered a solution. "Is there another door I could use?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 7, 2025 Posted December 7, 2025 Joke: I Want To Become A Politician "Dad, I want to become a politician," said Jim. His father asked, "And what are you doing to become one?" "Nothing, dad." "Good, you're halfway there then." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 9, 2025 Posted December 9, 2025 Joke: Beware of dog Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying "DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!" posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register. He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" "Yep, that's him," he replied. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 9, 2025 Posted December 9, 2025 Joke: Graduation Speech When my son graduated from high school, he had to give a speech. He began by reading from his prepared text. 'I want to talk about my mother and the wonderful influence she has had on my life,' he told the audience. 'She is a shining example of parenthood, and I love her more than words could ever do justice.' At this point he seemed to struggle for words. After a pause, he looked up with a sly grin and said, 'Sorry, but it's really hard to read my mother's handwriting.' Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 9, 2025 Posted December 9, 2025 Joke: Petroleum Jelly One day while doing door-to-door market research, this guy knocks on a door and is greeted by a beautiful young housewife. "Hello," he starts, "I’m doing some research for a petroleum jelly manufacturer. Have you ever used the product?" "Yes. My husband and I use it during sex," she answers. The researcher is taken aback. "Um, er, I admire you for your honesty," he continues. "Can you tell me exactly how you use it?" "Sure, we put it on the doorknob so the kids can’t get in." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 9, 2025 Posted December 9, 2025 Joke: A man was wheeling himself frantically... A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation. A nurse stopped him and asked, "What's the matter?" He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'" "She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?" "She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 10, 2025 Posted December 10, 2025 Joke: Beware of dog Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying "DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!" posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register. He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" "Yep, that's him," he replied. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 10, 2025 Posted December 10, 2025 Joke: A mother is cleaning her teenage... A mother is cleaning her teenage daughter's room when she finds a bondage magazine hidden under the bed. She shows it to her husband and asks him what he thinks they should do. After flicking through the magazine her husband says, "To be honest I'm not sure, but I don't think spanking her is going to help." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 10, 2025 Posted December 10, 2025 Joke: Fighting for Business The shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS. He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES. The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop-it read… Main entrance. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 10, 2025 Posted December 10, 2025 Joke: Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant ... Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible? Doctor : Let me tell you a story: "There was once a Hunter who always carried a gun wherever he went. One day he took out his Umbrella instead of his Gun and went out. A Lion suddenly jumped in-front of him. In order to scare the Lion, the Hunter used the Umbrella like a Gun, and shot the Lion, then it died! Guy : Nonsense! Someone else must have shot the Lion... Doctor : Good! You understood the story. Next patient please... Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 12, 2025 Posted December 12, 2025 Joke: Efficiency Expert An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" "Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked. "Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 12, 2025 Posted December 12, 2025 Joke: Loud Train A man had to attend a large convention in Chicago. On this particular trip he decided to bring his wife. When they arrived at their hotel and were shown to their room, the man said: "You rest here while I register - I'll be back within an hour." The wife lies down on the bed... just then, an elevated train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she's thrown out of the bed. Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more. Again, a train shakes the room so violently, she's pitched to the floor. Exasperated, she calls the front desk, asks for the manager. The manager says he'll be right up. The manager (naturally) is sceptical but the wife insists the story is true. "Look,... lie here on the bed - you'll be thrown right to the floor!" So he lies down next to the wife... Just then the husband walks in. "What," he says, "are you doing here?" The manager replies: "Would you believe I'm waiting for a train?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 12, 2025 Posted December 12, 2025 Joke: In school one day, the teacher... In school one day, the teacher decided that for science class she would teach about raw materials. She stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw material in the world, what would it be?" Little Stevie raised his hand and said "I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Corvette." The teacher nodded and called on little Susie. Little Susie said, "I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Porsche" The teacher smiled and then called on Little Adam. Little Adam stood up and said, "I would want silicon." The teacher said, "Adam, why silicon?" "Because my mom has two bags of it and you should see all the sports cars parked outside of our house!!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 12, 2025 Posted December 12, 2025 Joke: In The Hotel Lobby A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'm, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436" yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 13, 2025 Posted December 13, 2025 Joke: Efficiency Expert An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" "Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked. "Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 13, 2025 Posted December 13, 2025 Joke: Loud Train A man had to attend a large convention in Chicago. On this particular trip he decided to bring his wife. When they arrived at their hotel and were shown to their room, the man said: "You rest here while I register - I'll be back within an hour." The wife lies down on the bed... just then, an elevated train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she's thrown out of the bed. Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more. Again, a train shakes the room so violently, she's pitched to the floor. Exasperated, she calls the front desk, asks for the manager. The manager says he'll be right up. The manager (naturally) is sceptical but the wife insists the story is true. "Look,... lie here on the bed - you'll be thrown right to the floor!" So he lies down next to the wife... Just then the husband walks in. "What," he says, "are you doing here?" The manager replies: "Would you believe I'm waiting for a train?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 13, 2025 Posted December 13, 2025 Joke: In school one day, the teacher... In school one day, the teacher decided that for science class she would teach about raw materials. She stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw material in the world, what would it be?" Little Stevie raised his hand and said "I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Corvette." The teacher nodded and called on little Susie. Little Susie said, "I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Porsche" The teacher smiled and then called on Little Adam. Little Adam stood up and said, "I would want silicon." The teacher said, "Adam, why silicon?" "Because my mom has two bags of it and you should see all the sports cars parked outside of our house!!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 14, 2025 Posted December 14, 2025 Joke: A father is explaining ethics A father is explaining ethics to his son, who is about to go into business... "Suppose a woman comes in and orders a hundred dollars worth of material. You wrap it up, and you give it to her. She pays you with a $100 bill. But as she goes out the door you realize she's given you two $100 bills. Now, here's where the ethics come in: should you or should you not tell your partner? Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 14, 2025 Posted December 14, 2025 Joke: Sex Life of the Elderly Jeff: I had grandparents that were well into their 80s and still were having fun. Walter: Their 80s? The hell kind of sex is that? Was it good for you? I don’t remember. It was three minutes ago!, Who are you?!?. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 14, 2025 Posted December 14, 2025 Joke: The robbery Two friends, Jim and Paul are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers up against a wall and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on, Jim slips something into Paul's hand. Without looking down, Paul whispers, "What is this?" Jim replies, "It's that $50 I owe you." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 14, 2025 Posted December 14, 2025 Joke: The Hat An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tightly so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?" "Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto this hat." "But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest. The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 15, 2025 Posted December 15, 2025 Joke: Why Should I Whistle? Murphy and his wife went for a stroll in the park. They sit down on a bench to rest for a while. Soon they overhear voices coming from a secluded spot nearby. Suddenly, Mrs. Murphy realizes that a young man is about to propose. Not wanting to be eavesdropping during such an intimate moment, she gently nudges her husband and whispers, "Whistle, to let that young couple know that someone can hear them." To which Murphy replies, "Whistle? Why should I whistle? Nobody whistled to warn me?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 15, 2025 Posted December 15, 2025 Joke: The lawyer was cross-examining The lawyer was cross-examining a witness. “Isn’t it true, “he bellowed, “that you were given $500.00 to throw this case?” The witness did not answer. Instead, he just stared out the window as though he hadn’t heard the question. The attorney repeated himself, again getting the same reaction - no response. “Oh,” said the startled witness, “I thought he was talking to you.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 15, 2025 Posted December 15, 2025 Joke: Going To A Nude Beach My friend bought a bus pass to a nude beach. It turned out to be a ticket to no wear. yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 15, 2025 Posted December 15, 2025 Joke: I came home & my dog peed a little ... I came home & my dog peed a little because he was happy to see me. None of my friend pee when they see me. I am surrounded by fakes. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 16, 2025 Posted December 16, 2025 Joke: When I got rejected by a woman When I got rejected by a woman who was hooked up to life support... it was so invalid dating. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 16, 2025 Posted December 16, 2025 Joke: Married 25 years, I took a look... Married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year old blond. Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50-year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things." My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25-year old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 16, 2025 Posted December 16, 2025 Joke: Dove Made of Rainbows When a woman has an orgasm, it’s like a dove made of rainbows came into the room. It’s awesome. Even other women are like, Aw, she’s having a nice time; that’s cool. When a guy has an orgasm, it’s like the devil himself tore off his own face and snakes are pouring out of his red skull. Like, no matter how smooth your love making technique as a man is, eventually, you’re going to be like someone getting electrocuted. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 16, 2025 Posted December 16, 2025 Joke: A man runs to the doctor and says... A man runs to the doctor and says: "Doctor, you've got to help me. My wife thinks she's a chicken!" The doctor asks: How long was she had this condition?" "Two years." replies the man. "Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?" asked the doctor. The man shrugs his shoulders and replies: "We needed the eggs" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 18, 2025 Posted December 18, 2025 Joke: Matt's dad picked him up from... Matt's dad picked him up from school one afternoon. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part. Matt enthusiastically announced that he'd gotten a part. "I play a man who's been married for twenty years." "That's great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they'll be giving you a speaking part." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 18, 2025 Posted December 18, 2025 Joke: My Wife a Chicken A man runs to the doctor and says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. My wife thinks she's a chicken!" The doctor asks, "How long has she had this condition?" "Two years," says the man. "Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?" asked the shrink. The man shrugs his shoulders and replies, "We needed the eggs." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 18, 2025 Posted December 18, 2025 Joke: A 97 year old man goes into his... A 97 year old man goes into his doctor's office and says, "Doc, I want my sex drive lowered." "Sir", replied the doctor, "You're 97. Don't you think your sex drive is all in your head?" "You're darned right it is!" replied the old man. "That's why I want it lowered!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 18, 2025 Posted December 18, 2025 Joke: Burning Calories Me: "I just burned 2000 calories in 20 minutes." Friend: "How?" Me: "I forgot to take my brownies out of the oven." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 19, 2025 Posted December 19, 2025 Joke: Direction in front of the toilet MEN to the left because WOMEN are always right! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 19, 2025 Posted December 19, 2025 Joke: Panicked father After the baby was born, the panicked Oriental father went to see the obstetrician. "Doctor," he said, "I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine." "Nonsense," the doctor said. "Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool." "It isn't possible," the man insisted. "We're pure Asian." "Well," said the doctor, "let me ask you this. How often do you have sex?" The man seemed ashamed. "I've been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice a month." "There you have it!" the doctor said confidently. "It's just rust." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
Recommended Posts