I Feel so Lonely; am I the only gay person who feels Lonely / Sad / Miserable / Less Attractive? (Compiled)

[Steve5380]

On 4/1/2021 at 1:50 AM, MNH said:

I feel like we are in the same boat. Sometimes I feel like life is so unfair cause it seems to me like I will never be able to find love but at times, it's so liberating too. Sometimes I questioned myself why does it seems like everyone around seems to be easily attached but not me. As older I get, the more hopes to find that special someone fades. They say don't find love but how can you be in love when you don't find it. Definitely bullshit. Maybe one day I'll get lucky. One day.

 

Yes, one day.  One day may come when you get lucky. 

 

Don't expect that "falling in love" will be the driving force towards a relationship.  This is more a theme in cheap love stories.

A relationship can start as an acquaintance, a friendship, as some convenience, as a "why not?".  And this can be the planting of a seed that makes love grow.  Or it might not.  But for lack of a better relationship... why not?

[Guest Heddy]

I do feel the same especially I prefer not to go out because of the pandemic. I'm getting depressed actually. I don't have somebody to cheer me up

[FattChoy]

On 3/13/2021 at 3:17 AM, GachiMuchi said:

 

 

 

After reading your post, I feel, no one in their right mind would want to be your boyfriend.

1. you are too negative.

2. you lack drive,

3. you lack confident.

4. you had given up.

 

To me, you are really a sad person for a 28yo, always comparing yourself to people who are better than you and you belittling yourself and your abilities. I seriously feels that you had already given up with yourself, so how do you expect anyone with their right mind to even accept you when you can't even accept yourself.

 

I keep seeing your posts as guest and as your current account, how bad your life is and how lack of confident you are, etc.  I seriously urge you to go see a doctor to look into your mental state. You are either suffering from depression or some kind of instability to cope.

 

Usually I would like to give a word or 2 of encouragement, but I am not going to.

 

KNN, for a 28 yo, you already throwing in the towels while many much older then you are still fighting to be better. What the fuck do you want? You want people to pity you? Pity you for how miserable your fucking life is now?

 

At 28, you can still afford to fail, when you still don't have a family and no fucking commitments compare to others who are much older who cannot afford to fail and who have other family commitments; like taking care of family, house, etc.

 

You are lucky that you are healthy, have a job and good health. Here you are in BW, keep whining about how miserable your life is instead of counting your blessing.

 

KNN, you are the type of fucker that don't deserve all those opportunities. You should be ashamed of yourself for failing yourself.

 

If you don't fucking puck up and do something about your life and only knows how to whine and sulk, then you deserved to fail and deserve to be single for the rest of your life.

 

Go get a fucking life and live your live the way you want it！

Nobody fucking owes you a living!

 

 

Great post.

[Zealouslogue]

10 hours ago, Guest Heddy said:

I do feel the same especially I prefer not to go out because of the pandemic. I'm getting depressed actually. I don't have somebody to cheer me up

Same! 😭

[bananaboat]

do some exercises. have confident etc. grindr is for hook up - its not the place to connect on other levels in any case

[Guest Lao uncle]

28 minutes ago, bananaboat said:

do some exercises. have confident etc. grindr is for hook up - its not the place to connect on other levels in any case

Sometimes no choice already.

Have to lelong my body.

 

There's somebody for everybody, it's true. So many lament here. You have to lelong, I also lelong. Don't say who benefit who. U happy, I happy enough.

You like my body but you cannot get hard, never mind. Use your fingers also can. Don't come here and tell people I open backside, I'm cheap.

You want to fuck me on the big bed also can. Let people watch also can, touch also can.

I know many will not bend so low and would rather come here and whine bo lang ai. Some would rather go and harass people for sex, ,癞蛤蟆想吃天鹅肉 kena complained.

[Zealouslogue]

3 minutes ago, Guest Lao uncle said:

Sometimes no choice already.

Have to lelong my body.

 

There's somebody for everybody, it's true. So many lament here. You have to lelong, I also lelong. Don't say who benefit who. U happy, I happy enough.

You like my body but you cannot get hard, never mind. Use your fingers also can. Don't come here and tell people I open backside, I'm cheap.

You want to fuck me on the big bed also can. Let people watch also can, touch also can.

I know many will not bend so low and would rather come here and whine bo lang ai. Some would rather go and harass people for sex, ,癞蛤蟆想吃天鹅肉 kena complained.

Are you okay? 

[bananaboat]

LOL. LELONG liao. come to me

[Guest Lao uncle]

48 minutes ago, Zealouslogue said:

Are you okay? 

I wonder why you think I'm not okay?

I'll rather cheapen myself to enjoy and accept what I am than to be depressed like you. The world don't revolve around you and don't care that you're being prude but depressed.

[Guest Feel]

On 3/11/2021 at 2:53 PM, lonely57 said:

Sometimes I wish I could start all over again. I'm 28 but I feel like I've made the wrong choices throughout my entire life. Academics, career, etc. It's all wrong but then again not many really work with something they are interested in. A career change would be hard and once I'm there I'd be super old. 

 

All the guys that I've poured my heart to rejected me. Each rejection makes me question further what's wrong with me. Makes me feel like I'm not good enough. Lately I feel that I've been very distracted lately. In school and at work. Feels like nothing exciting going on when everyone else around me seems to be progressing nicely.

 

Things that I can do others can do. I don't specialise in anything and can't do anything out of the extraordinary. I don't feel unique. I feel like a deformed cookie cutter of a regular person. 

 

I feel so left out, alone and am worth nothing. 

I feel you. I can't put up a smile in my workplace. Nothing seems to excite me. Always moody. Quite. People thinks I'm not happy. I just work like a robot to forget things. Everyone hates me. I can see why. I cant control myself. Moody. Resting bitch face. I think I am not smart enough in eq wise on how to deal with working life. I'm not mentally resilient enough. Not stoic. Not strong. I cannot imagine myself guiding my children if I have one cause I'm so messed up and fucked up. I feel like a wierd psycho guy. I feel so abnormal. Why was I even born into this world? For what purpose? I feel like a joke. I feel so ashamed. Yet I still behave the way I behave. I cant control myself. I feel like an unempathetic guy. I feel like people are lying to me in order for me to get job done for them. I'm so skeptical about their stories. I become unemotional. I have trust issue. I feel being used. Everyone wants a piece of me. I feel tired. I become selfish. Unemotional. Like a robot. Who is telling truth. Who is lying. 

 

I wish for something in my life. I'm dreaming about it. I know what I want. I have hope for it. That keeps me holding on.  But life doesnt meet my expectation. Not just me. Everyone's life too. Sometimes can feel the way their are reacting or behaving too. I imagine being in their shoes. Life or worklife is like that. Unfairness is everywhere. Actually I'm really really lucky. Should be grateful. But why am I always moody? Is it in my genes? Can I have a medical cert to certify my illness? So that I can blame it on my genes? 

 

I know I wont be able to change myself. Not even aikido. I knew it. Is in my blood. I have to surrender to my fate. I wish people can accept it and move on with it. Just treat me invisible. I'm ok with it. Just quickly finish work and go home. As long as work is done. There are 7 billion people in this world. I am the outlier. The psycho guy. The world exists in binary. Got good and bad guy. Got happy and moody guy. Yin yang in harmony. 

 

Just like my previous supervisor said, what if someone has no talent. Too bad loh. I have none. Maybe our talent is not in the corporate world. Maybe in craftworld perhaps. Maybe not able to generate money. Maybe after we die. Like famous painter. Maybe. 

 

Although I feel useless and hopeless. Still I have that faint hope that I can live and achieve the life that I know I wanted. Seems futile. But never say never. The only way to overcome is to hang on. Bad people or useless people also has their place in this world. I let the God to decide. He is the one that let me born into this world. 

[Zealouslogue]

3 minutes ago, Guest Lao uncle said:

I wonder why you think I'm not okay?

I'll rather cheapen myself to enjoy and accept what I am than to be depressed like you. The world don't revolve around you and don't care that you're being prude but depressed.

Wow, okay. So much for being caring! 

[Notti]

Guys, I think you all need to open up and meet up more people and make friends! We are living in the present and should cherish every moments since we are still around and kicking. Yes, we are young once but we live once too. Remember that! 😘

[Zealouslogue]

2 hours ago, Notti said:

Guys, I think you all need to open up and meet up more people and make friends! We are living in the present and should cherish every moments since we are still around and kicking. Yes, we are young once but we live once too. Remember that! 😘

😘😘

[brianyix]

Whatever negative feelings you guys feel internally, be it caused externally by childhood trauma, peer influence, conservative views,current situation, my view is if you can wake up in the morning every day in spite of this you are already stronger than you think, and have some level of resources to fight off the negative feelings you have inside.

 

Notti is right, go out, make friends, so you can talk about your problems, have fun, forget hardships..what you have to lose?

 

[Derren]

Loneliness is a problem as we gays grow older. Some of us handle it better than others. 

 

What are practical steps that one can take? 

 

I struggle to make friends too. Not easy to find people that you can connect with, where both are willing

to make time and put in effort to develop the friendship. Especially for introverts or people who are not adept at socialising.

 

Are there any support groups for lonely AJs? 

 

 

[Guest Lone Ranger]

22 hours ago, Derren said:

Loneliness is a problem as we gays grow older. Some of us handle it better than others. 

 

What are practical steps that one can take? 

 

I struggle to make friends too. Not easy to find people that you can connect with, where both are willing

to make time and put in effort to develop the friendship. Especially for introverts or people who are not adept at socialising.

 

Are there any support groups for lonely AJs? 

 

 

So it is very important to find things that you can do by yourself

 

And search for inner happiness

 

Don't focus on the loneliness and it will go away

[Guest Reality]

Reality is if you are handsome, hunk and rich, people will get attracted to you like bees to honey. If you are born ugly, work hard to get a good body to build the confidence. Many gay men lack confidence because they don't aim to improve and just sulk that life is unfair.

[Derren]

9 hours ago, Guest Lone Ranger said:

So it is very important to find things that you can do by yourself

 

And search for inner happiness

 

Don't focus on the loneliness and it will go away

 

Yes, must cultivate an inner peace. By learning meditation? 

 

Compiling a list of things to do by oneself.

 

1.  Work out / Exercise / Jog / Swim

2. Watch drama

3. Learn an instrument

4. Learn a new language

5. Take an online course

 

13 minutes ago, Guest Reality said:

Reality is if you are handsome, hunk and rich, people will get attracted to you like bees to honey. If you are born ugly, work hard to get a good body to build the confidence. Many gay men lack confidence because they don't aim to improve and just sulk that life is unfair.

 

Yes, it is definitely easier for the extroverted, the rich & successful, the athletically inclined and those who are simply born with good looks. For those of us less blest, not all us may be able to transform into a hunk, but we can all work towards being healthier and more confident about ourselves. The journey is well worth it.

 

Are there any support groups for AJs struggling with loneliness? Someone mentioned OSIG on Facebook.

[Guest busy]

Why are some guys so busy with work?

 

Most of them are busy making a living. We don't have a spouse to combine income and we are usually the ones still staying with parents and taking care of them while the rest of the children are already married.

 

Where to find time?

[Derren]

45 minutes ago, Guest busy said:

Why are some guys so busy with work?

 

Most of them are busy making a living. We don't have a spouse to combine income and we are usually the ones still staying with parents and taking care of them while the rest of the children are already married.

 

Where to find time?

 

Yeah, also some guys are in high-flying careers which probably take up most of their time and energy. 

 

[Derren]

How about guys who feel unattractive physically? 

 

Anyone willing to offer help, say advice on hair style, fashion etc? Image consultant? 

 

And of course, there's the exercise / workout bit.

 

[hitex]

hahaha!!!!!!!

just wait till you are in late 70s??????

[Derren]

3 minutes ago, hitex said:

hahaha!!!!!!!

just wait till you are in late 70s??????

 

Ya, I know.... That's why have to prepare mentality and physically, starting now. 

 

 

 

 

 

[You0nlyLive0nce]

Would like to find someone genuine to talk to, please PM me. 

[Guest Support]

If you guys want to form a telegram support group, put down ur tele iD here.

will create a group just for support..no nsfw