PLUs over 40 + What Do You Think A Gay Should Have By Age 40? (compiled)

[single42]

well.. fellow folks who are generally well over 40.. i am single and i am happy.. i am not committed to anyone at all and i am happy as i like to do whatever i want to do & be with anyone at any point of time as i choose to be with.  i don't like to answer to anyone & neither do i like to be tied down.  committment is  such a drag. And breakup are messy & complicated. and moreover i am a bi.. so i am happy. 

[fab]

5 hours ago, mate69 said:

 

Why must use "sisters"?

This term is used way too freely and loosely in the gay community

 

Can't you begin with:

 

"Hi folks/people/everyone, what phase in life are you in right now?"

Lol.

 

He may only want the opinions of sisters as most brothers tend not to wish to settle down.

 

Maybe.

[Guest Sister]

Just now, mate69 said:

 

Why must use "sisters"?

This term is used way too freely and loosely in the gay community

 

 

That is your view, but you also need to give benefit of doubts that Thread like this sometimes need to be read in its literal meaning.  TS is addressing to a specific group,  "sister", within the gay community.  Psychologically speaking, TS wanted to portray woman, once reached 40, may find challenging looking for a "hushand" to settle down.  In every sense of the title,  how is a "sister" going to chart their life forward, as in, change of lifestyle, cruising regime, settled for singlehood, took up new hobby or continue look around for their boy as long as it takes?

 

 

[Guest Guest]

1 hour ago, Guest Sister said:

That is your view, but you also need to give benefit of doubts that Thread like this sometimes need to be read in its literal meaning.  TS is addressing to a specific group,  "sister", within the gay community.  Psychologically speaking, TS wanted to portray woman, once reached 40, may find challenging looking for a "hushand" to settle down.  In every sense of the title,  how is a "sister" going to chart their life forward, as in, change of lifestyle, cruising regime, settled for singlehood, took up new hobby or continue look around for their boy as long as it takes?

 

 

 

Then why start a thread with "PLU" in the title, if it is meant only for the discussion of sissy "sisters" like you? If the thread is meant for "sisters", just say so. Don't put in some clickbait terms such as "PLUs" to draw general gays into the thread only for the scope to be about "sisters". You think every single People Like Us are "sisters"? That's fucking insulting. 

[doncoin]

11 hours ago, Guest 40up said:

Fellow sisters above 40, what phase in life are you right now?

 

I am in that stage in life where I don't really give a fuck to what people think of me. I am too old to stress about it. 

 

 

11 hours ago, Guest 40up said:

Regardless on relationship, work, family wise, are you contented with what you have?

 

So far so good. Spending too much on shoes lately. 

 

11 hours ago, Guest 40up said:

 

For singles, do you choose not to be in a relationship or is it relatively rather as one ages?

 

For attached, do you see yourself settling down forever with your current? 

 

 

Yup. Going to settle down at some point. 

[FattChoy]

On 4/5/2012 at 5:11 PM, Guest 2012 said:

Hi all,

What are the tangible and non-tangible things that you feel you should have by forty?

Manners, maturity, mellowness

[mate69]

Don't settle down better. 

Doesn't pay off in the long run.

Be kind to yourself. Spare yourself the agony.

Or else, settle down with yourself and learn to be alone but not lonely.

Edited July 25, 2020 by mate69

[Guest guest]

12 hours ago, mate69 said:

Don't settle down better. 

Doesn't pay off in the long run.

Be kind to yourself. Spare yourself the agony.

Or else, settle down with yourself and learn to be alone but not lonely.

Important to learn to be alone but not lonely, even though it is easy to say than done. 

[LeanMature]

On 7/25/2020 at 11:16 AM, mate69 said:

Don't settle down better. 

Doesn't pay off in the long run.

Be kind to yourself. Spare yourself the agony.

Or else, settle down with yourself and learn to be alone but not lonely.

 

At some point, you will adjust and get use to function alone, to the point where you can't accept another person into your life.  So you thought you are not lonely by being alone.  Reality is, there is no turning back when you hit that stage.   Time and tide wait for no man.

[koumin]

On 4/6/2012 at 12:07 AM, doncoin said:

A close group of friends who will have your back and be there for you no matter what.

Hardly you can find real pals, tried to trust and believe this group, but vanished after some time

[LoveCum]

.

Edited July 28, 2020 by LoveCum

[Steve5380]

I think that HEALTH and STABILITY are important to have at 40.  Of course, these should continue into the 70s and beyond, if possible.

 

3 hours ago, LoveCum said:

above 40 here..useless i supposed

 

On the contrary, above 40 is the time to be useful to YOURSELF,  not to the whole world.

 

On 7/24/2020 at 7:10 AM, FattChoy said:

Manners, maturity, mellowness

 

Maybe a BEGINNING of manners, maturity, mellowness.  The real time for these is old age.

 

On 7/26/2020 at 1:38 AM, LeanMature said:

 

At some point, you will adjust and get use to function alone, to the point where you can't accept another person into your life.  So you thought you are not lonely by being alone.  Reality is, there is no turning back when you hit that stage.   Time and tide wait for no man.

 

Not necessarily.  You may have lived until 40 completely alone without problems.  And you may continue this way, but you should not lose the ability to accept another person in your life, permanently of for a certain time.

[doncoin]

5 hours ago, koumin said:

Hardly you can find real pals, tried to trust and believe this group, but vanished after some time

 

 

Well,, it takes effort on everyone's part to keep the friendship going. My friends and I have been sharing a beach house every summer for more than 12 years. There is always the core group of 4 of us. Sometimes new people join us, then they leave and come back after a few years. People move. People settle down. Life changes. 

 

There were years that I cannot spend a full week to catch up, but still make an effort to be there for the weekend due to work and other reasons. 

 

You meet the new boyfriends, a few become husbands and become part of the group. You listen while they whine about their life. You comfort them when their hearts got broken. or when they lost a loved one. 

 

Ultimately, being a friend is just that. Some you can trust more than others. Others you can do different things with and still enjoy their companionship. As you get older you don't need that many friends. Just a few. 

[FattChoy]

2 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

Maybe a BEGINNING of manners, maturity, mellowness.  The real time for these is old age.

 

Sorry to burst your bubble.  At your age, I could understand why you'd believe you're ascending to nirvana-like sagehood.  Unfortunately, science has you on a death-spiral towards the drainhole of grumpiness and crankiness.  

 

1) https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2604925/GET-OFF-MY-LAWN-Men-officially-turn-grumpy-age-70.html

2) http://www.nbcnews.com/id/50305818/ns/health-mens_health/t/get-my-lawn-why-some-older-men-get-so-grouchy/

Edited July 28, 2020 by FattChoy

[Steve5380]

3 hours ago, FattChoy said:

 

Sorry to burst your bubble.  At your age, I could understand why you'd believe you're ascending to nirvana-like sagehood.  Unfortunately, science has you on a death-spiral towards the drainhole of grumpiness and crankiness.  

 

 

LOL!  I hope I don't impress here as a grumpy old man.  Because I am far from that.

 

If you are going to follow the statistics, no wonder you may feel doomed.  Men over 70 have many chronic diseases,  are weak, a big tummy, moving slowly due to arthritis,  defeated, unhappy, and therefore grumpy and cranky.    And someone's statistics are NOT science.  It is said that you can prove anything with statistics 

 

Don't forget that we don't have to follow the norm.  We can be smart and prevent falling into the sad group that is the average.  I write here a lot about cultivating happiness, developing a positive attitude, following a healthy lifestyle so when we are old we are not sick nor disabled.  Also in this smart life we can avoid being a pauper when old.

 

I know some old men who are grumpy and have been so all their lives.  My brother-in-law, who recently passed away at 99 y.o., was always negative, pessimist, complaining, grumpy.

I know young people who are negative, pessimistic, grumpy, cranky.

 

And I know a large number of seniors who are happy, content, full of empathy and sympathy.  

It is all in the way we live our lives.  Age has little to do with it.

[LeanMature]

On 7/28/2020 at 9:29 PM, Steve5380 said:

Not necessarily.  You may have lived until 40 completely alone without problems.  And you may continue this way, but you should not lose the ability to accept another person in your life, permanently of for a certain time.

 

When you live alone for 20 to 30 years, it's quite impossible to change your lifestyle to adapt to another person coming into your life. 

 

Your body clock is set to sleep and wake at certain hours, aircon set at certain temperature, preset your favorite channel on tv, the way you want to maintain your living area, your favorite quiet corner etc..  That was all well and good for 30 years until suddenly.............You may try to put in effort to change but it would be short lived. 

[Steve5380]

7 hours ago, LeanMature said:

 

When you live alone for 20 to 30 years, it's quite impossible to change your lifestyle to adapt to another person coming into your life. 

 

Your body clock is set to sleep and wake at certain hours, aircon set at certain temperature, preset your favorite channel on tv, the way you want to maintain your living area, your favorite quiet corner etc..  That was all well and good for 30 years until suddenly.............You may try to put in effort to change but it would be short lived. 

 

I don't think so.  Radical changes can happen in life that are more disrupting than having suddenly another person living with us,  and we (sometimes have to) adapt well.

And there is no real evidence of what you wrote.

I lived single for more than 35 years before marrying one day, and it worked fine.  Both she and me we adapted to each other. 

What is difficult in changing sleep patterns by a few hours?  Some people suddenly change jobs and have to work at night and sleep by day.

What is difficult in watching other tv channels?  Sometimes the change is made for us by the cable companies.

What is difficult in having different pictures on the walls, have your favorite chair moved to another corner?

.

Edited August 2, 2020 by Steve5380

[Guest Devil wears Prada]

22 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

 

I don't think so.  Radical changes can happen in life that are more disrupting than having suddenly another person living with us,  and we (sometimes have to) adapt well.

And there is no real evidence of what you wrote.

I lived single for more than 35 years before marrying one day, and it worked fine.  Both she and me we adapted to each other. 

What is difficult in changing sleep patterns by a few hours?  Some people suddenly change jobs and have to work at night and sleep by day.

What is difficult in watching other tv channels?  Sometimes the change is made for us by the cable companies.

What is difficult in having different pictures on the walls, have your favorite chair moved to another corner?

.

It is not difficult. Who say it is diffcult?  It is just inconvenient.  That's all.

[Steve5380]

1 hour ago, Guest Devil wears Prada said:

It is not difficult. Who say it is diffcult?  It is just inconvenient.  That's all.

 

Agree.

 

Inconvenient is just an inconvenience.  Like for me to use a Prada handbag instead of carrying everything in my pockets.

[fab]

On 4/5/2012 at 5:11 PM, Guest 2012 said:

Hi all,

What are the tangible and non-tangible things that you feel you should have by forty?

 

Lose his gay virginity.

 

Presbyopia.

 

Body ache.

 

[Steve5380]

25 minutes ago, fab said:

 

Lose his gay virginity.

 

Presbyopia.

 

Body ache.

 

 

Some of your items are late, some are premature.

 

Lose gay virginity, or any other virginity, should be by the 20s.

Presbyopia can wait until 50

Body ache can happen at any age, but arthritis should wait until 70.

[Marslang]

8 hours ago, fab said:

 

Lose his gay virginity.

 

Presbyopia.

 

Body ache.

 

Dun know is good or not for me as all I not yet achieve.

[fab]

16 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Some of your items are late, some are premature.

 

Lose gay virginity, or any other virginity, should be by the 20s.

Presbyopia can wait until 50

Body ache can happen at any age, but arthritis should wait until 70.

 

 

I know of people with presbyopia during late 30s.

 

Body ache from sport injurie susually start during my 30s.

[fab]

8 hours ago, Marslang said:

Dun know is good or not for me as all I not yet achieve.

 

1st is controversial.

 

2nd n 3rd are definitely good to not have.

[Steve5380]

4 hours ago, fab said:

 

2nd n 3rd are definitely good to not have.

 

But 2nd and 3rd are not big problems.

Presbyopia  is easily overcome with monovision contact lenses (one eye optimized for distance, the other for closeness,  the brain can mix the two signals with little problem)

Body aches from exercises are preferable than no exercise.  And there is no need to do sports that cause injuries.

[Doki39]

Im 39, and I realize my Health my Sanity

and a direction towards where I wanna be when Im  60.Preparing for the future to come...Some of my friends got Issues reaching 40, especially health.we have to care more than ever our health.

[Steve5380]

4 hours ago, Doki39 said:

Im 39, and I realize my Health my Sanity

and a direction towards where I wanna be when Im  60.Preparing for the future to come...Some of my friends got Issues reaching 40, especially health.we have to care more than ever our health.

 

Care for your health at 39,  selecting good nutrition and reasonable exercise,  and you will still be young at 60.

[Guest Meow]

7 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Care for your health at 39,  selecting good nutrition and reasonable exercise,  and you will still be young at 60.

Good nutrition and exercise plays a small part in how one will look at old age.   Genes and environment play a bigger role.  Some people are lucky that their parents passed them an "un-aging" genes to look young regardless which stages of life they are at and coupled with good healthy environement (no pollution, no stress),  one can still maintain half of their baby face at age 80.    

[Steve5380]

20 minutes ago, Guest Meow said:

Good nutrition and exercise plays a small part in how one will look at old age.   Genes and environment play a bigger role.  Some people are lucky that their parents passed them an "un-aging" genes to look young regardless which stages of life they are at and coupled with good healthy environement (no pollution, no stress),  one can still maintain half of their baby face at age 80.    

 

Today it is estimated that the influence of genes in aging is about 25%.  The rest comes from lifestyle and environment (which can also be controlled).

So we should not give up hope that we can age gracefully if we do things smartly.

[LeanMature]

18 hours ago, Doki39 said:

Im 39, and I realize my Health my Sanity

and a direction towards where I wanna be when Im  60.Preparing for the future to come...Some of my friends got Issues reaching 40, especially health.we have to care more than ever our health.

 

Target age should be raised to 70.  Being fit and healthy at 60 in today age is easily achievable.  

[LeanMature]

14 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Care for your health at 39,  selecting good nutrition and reasonable exercise,  and you will still be young at 60.

 

Should start caring for your health as early as 20s, certain damage to the body cannot be reversed.

[Guest Jamal]

I want to retire by then. I should have a lot of money

[Guest Guest]

On 3/28/2021 at 12:59 AM, Guest Jamal said:

I want to retire by then. I should have a lot of money

Your salary must be quite high that you will have a lot of money by 40s?

 

I wondering how much a person salary should have when he is in his 40s?

[Guest Cup2022]

Supply of glucosamine and calcium

[Guest guest]

18 minutes ago, Guest Cup2022 said:

Supply of glucosamine and calcium

take more supplements and exercise regularly.

[fitcubsg]

A roof over your head, stability in the form of a job, real adulting, a good support network of friends, less bullshit and a passion which ignites your zest for life, my two cents worth.

[Guest Fatty]

On 5/28/2021 at 7:26 PM, Guest Guest said:

Your salary must be quite high that you will have a lot of money by 40s?

 

I wondering how much a person salary should have when he is in his 40s?

At least $15k

[Guest Guest]

A fully paid HDB, 3 room and above.

[bodybuildMLY]

This is coming from a 42-year man. What is important to me now is:

• Health.
  A lot of my peers are withering at this age due to their family commitment. So it is important to invest money and time so that you can maintain your health well. Learn to cook your own food because outside food is generally unhealthy despite having the Healthy Option. Build your muscle strength and cardio stamina. Do your annual check-up religiously. I can only thank the Lord after receiving my last health result. 
   
• Career
  I am still working in my professional field albeit slowing down. Nonetheless, still actively contributing to it. Have decent salary to save, spend wisely, and go for occasional holidays. Currently at my sweet spot. Working while still enjoying my personal time. Lesser earning but more personal growth. 
   
• House
  Currently still with my parents and grandma. For me, I can't stay alone without thinking about them all the time (I tried, believe me!) At least I am around whenever they need me especially in their golden ages. If you take care of their health and emotional well-being, you will have less issues in handling them. I am so blessed my 82 yo grandma is still lucid and manage the household expenditure, and in return, I learn the secrets of Peranakan cooking from her! My parents don't nag at me for being single (in fact, they enjoy "bothering" me with their questions on iPhone 13 etc.) The house is warm. Occasional arguments are normal. Well, even couples do. 
   
• Personal Growth
  For me, religion and seeking knowledge are part of my fundamentals. Learning new things will keep my brain functioning well and religion helps me to be grounded. Learning about my religion, new languages, professional skill upgrading, etc. will definitely contribute to my personal growth. I believe in having positive relationship with God in my daily life. 
   
• Retirement Plan
  At this age, I have already met my Full Retirement Sum (FRS). On top of that, I have some investment with the rest of my CPF. So hopefully with the Lord's Grace, while still contributing to it while I'm working and gaining annual compound interest, it will help in growing my retirement nest. If it comes to a point I need to buy a house, I will opt for flexi-flat from HDB with old folks' facilities.  
   
• Medical Insurance 
  Keep a comprehensive medical insurance since medical cost is expensive in Singapore.  On top of MediSave, I have my AIA comprehensive hospitalisation insurance and its rider. Also, I have supplemented my CareShield as well. Hopefully, I don't have to touch it (look at Health).

So hopefully this gives some perspectives. DISCLAIMER: this is my personal view and wish. You guys may have different perspectives. So let's respect one another. 

 

[Steve5380]

12 minutes ago, bodybuildMLY said:

 

DISCLAIMER: this is my personal view and wish. You guys may have different perspectives. So let's respect one another. 

 

 

Your personal view can apply to the majority of society.   You have everything you need for a successful life,  plus a happy one in the last times of it.

[Guest Qyf]

PLUs in their 40s should not be on tiktok dancing like a young kid. Then there are others who are using the platform to show skimpy shots of themselves. Why can't just put those on twitter or ig?

 

Realise that your time had passed and be mature about it.

[Guest 40newbeginning]

I reached 40 this year.

I no longer has the wishful thinking of finding a lifelong partner anymore. At 40s, ur energy and attractiveness is going downhill. Used to hook up at sauna/grindr but now prefer to diy.

I become more pragmatic, want to invest money to get more money to prepare for my retirement as I will be alone.

Life becomes work, eat, sleep. I used to buy expensive bags, phones, facial products but not anymore now as I came to realise these are superficial. Now looking all items from value for money perspective.

[mate69]

9 minutes ago, Guest 40newbeginning said:

I reached 40 this year.

I no longer has the wishful thinking of finding a lifelong partner anymore. At 40s, ur energy and attractiveness is going downhill. Used to hook up at sauna/grindr but now prefer to diy.

I become more pragmatic, want to invest money to get more money to prepare for my retirement as I will be alone.

Life becomes work, eat, sleep. I used to buy expensive bags, phones, facial products but not anymore now as I came to realise these are superficial. Now looking all items from value for money perspective.

 

Yes. Good for you. There is only 1 thing you should strive for: Financial independence, strength and freedom. LTR is unnecessary and is a noose around your neck. Don't get strangled by it. 

[Guest Man Man Lesbo]

By age 40, gays should have some self assurance and confidence. That is what makes a man attractive.

 

He should drive around in short shorts and singlet.

[Gozu]

On 12/24/2022 at 11:08 PM, bodybuildMLY said:

This is coming from a 42-year man. What is important to me now is:

• Health.
  A lot of my peers are withering at this age due to their family commitment. So it is important to invest money and time so that you can maintain your health well. Learn to cook your own food because outside food is generally unhealthy despite having the Healthy Option. Build your muscle strength and cardio stamina. Do your annual check-up religiously. I can only thank the Lord after receiving my last health result. 
   
• Career
  I am still working in my professional field albeit slowing down. Nonetheless, still actively contributing to it. Have decent salary to save, spend wisely, and go for occasional holidays. Currently at my sweet spot. Working while still enjoying my personal time. Lesser earning but more personal growth. 
   
• House
  Currently still with my parents and grandma. For me, I can't stay alone without thinking about them all the time (I tried, believe me!) At least I am around whenever they need me especially in their golden ages. If you take care of their health and emotional well-being, you will have less issues in handling them. I am so blessed my 82 yo grandma is still lucid and manage the household expenditure, and in return, I learn the secrets of Peranakan cooking from her! My parents don't nag at me for being single (in fact, they enjoy "bothering" me with their questions on iPhone 13 etc.) The house is warm. Occasional arguments are normal. Well, even couples do. 
   
• Personal Growth
  For me, religion and seeking knowledge are part of my fundamentals. Learning new things will keep my brain functioning well and religion helps me to be grounded. Learning about my religion, new languages, professional skill upgrading, etc. will definitely contribute to my personal growth. I believe in having positive relationship with God in my daily life. 
   
• Retirement Plan
  At this age, I have already met my Full Retirement Sum (FRS). On top of that, I have some investment with the rest of my CPF. So hopefully with the Lord's Grace, while still contributing to it while I'm working and gaining annual compound interest, it will help in growing my retirement nest. If it comes to a point I need to buy a house, I will opt for flexi-flat from HDB with old folks' facilities.  
   
• Medical Insurance 
  Keep a comprehensive medical insurance since medical cost is expensive in Singapore.  On top of MediSave, I have my AIA comprehensive hospitalisation insurance and its rider. Also, I have supplemented my CareShield as well. Hopefully, I don't have to touch it (look at Health).

So hopefully this gives some perspectives. DISCLAIMER: this is my personal view and wish. You guys may have different perspectives. So let's respect one another. 

 

You have a boyfriend? 

[Ryuki]

Instead of just thinking why not go well in to get it

[tyan]

On 12/26/2022 at 5:46 PM, Gozu said:

You have a boyfriend? 

Ya. Covered every aspect comprehensive but missed out “ Love” part of your life.