Discussion On Bisexuality - Men Who Loves Both Sexes + Bi Men Share Experience (compiled)

[Guest Guest]

Bi-erasure in the gay community? How surprising. And here I thought the the B in LGBT stands for bisexuals. Haha, silly me.

B stand for bottom or butch, t stand for top or tranny. U dunno meh

[Guest guest]

We met nearby his hotel and I was instantly drawn to his dazzling blue eyes and outgoing personality.

But there's Only one thing that confused me, he has never slept with a guy before.

We hungout for almost 9hours from daylight to nighttime we talked about politics, travel experiences, different perceptions of cultures and lots of bullshit.

He told me he didn't want to runaway eventhough this is his first time meeting guy from mobile app and he said I was attractive. I was head over heel.

When we were about to part ways I suggested maybe we could go back to his place, he told me he didn't want to offend me and he really wanted to but he's having an ongoing battle with his sexuality and he wouldve lost the war if he sleeps with me.

the night wasn't ruined though, we still hungout for a lil bit longer because honestly, I just liked spending time with him....

So have anyone experienced or meet with a bisexual guy b4? Or do u believe in bisexuality?

You are plain stupid but since you are so hard up for his meat, you should kneel & beg him to unzip for you. Suck like a crazy horse & rim him. Let him know you are desperate. Prey on his sympathy and I think you stand a good chance for him to bestow a night in his bed.

Good luck

[Guest TS]

You are plain stupid but since you are so hard up for his meat, you should kneel & beg him to unzip for you. Suck like a crazy horse & rim him. Let him know you are desperate. Prey on his sympathy and I think you stand a good chance for him to bestow a night in his bed.

Good luck

Clearly you have no class.

[bludragon]

Since he put it frankly, just enjoy the company. Why rush...unless you are already smitten by him

[MadMan]

Unless you have been in this circle long enough and been thru many rs to know how to deal with it, you will be the one getting hurt in the end.

Stay away and let him make the first move. But if you just enjoyed his company and friendship and nothing else, then go in with your eyes open...

I have met many guys in the past who were unsure or having issues with their sexuality, and believe me, it can get very frustrating at times esp if you start falling for them.

[Guest Ts]

Thank you for everyone's warm replies~

Honestly I know he's not here for long and I've no idea what I wanna gain from him. Love? Too far away(Europe) sex? Not gonna happen. Friendship? Good luck~

Ya I think I was swept off my feet.... Because frankly, I've never dated anyone in sg can carry a decent conversation with bias pov towards some certain groups of ppl.

We still talk today and planning our next meetup...

And no I am not SPG. I've never dated a white guy before. and I certainly don't need any cynical Aunty judging me.

[GachiMuchi]

The Messy Realities of Bisexuality
 
Bisexuality lacks clarity between attraction, behavior and identity.
Post published by Loren A. Olson M.D. on Jul 05, 2011 in Finally Out

 

When I searched Twitter for "bisexuality" I found this: "Bisexuality is the ability to reach down someone's pants and be satisfied with whatever you find." I once defined it (less colorfully) on my blog, MagneticFire(link is external). I wrote, "Bisexuality is being sexually attracted equally to both men and women."



The response was swift and furious. "Am I defined accurately as bisexual only if I have one ejaculation with a woman for every ejaculation I have with a man?" I was accused of being a poor scientist and unfamiliar with the literature on bisexuality. My definition was considered far too restrictive. One bisexual man wrote that a bisexual could be any of the following:

• Straight-identified married men who have surreptitious sex with other men.
• Single men with steady girlfriends 
• Divorced men who partner with another man but remain attracted to women
• Transgender persons and their transgender partners
• Men in polyamorous(link is external) relationships.

That is a very large umbrella! I could cop out and say that labels are useless and this discussion is meaningless, but labels are essential for research and important for the development of a sense of belonging. Within the LGBT community, not only are the L, the G, the B and the T distinct from one another, but each can be divided into multiple sub-populations.

The term "bisexuality" lacks clarity about the differences between attraction, behavior or self-identity. Many scientists prefer a definition based exclusively on attraction because behavior and identity are more fluid. For some behavior and self-definitions may evolve over time. Lisa Diamond in Sexual Fluidity has suggested that a shifting of sexual intimacy is more common in women than in men; that is consistent with my clinical experience. As I described in, Finally Out: Letting Go of Living

Straight(link is external), I began life believing I was a heterosexual man, went through a brief period of believing I might be bisexual, and now am completely confident that I am a gay man. Once I aligned my sexual attraction, sexual behavior and my self-identity, the dissonance I had felt for much of my life disappeared.

I recently had a conversation with a married man who described himself as bisexual. I asked him if his attraction to men and women was equal. He affirmed that it was. I then asked, "How do you commit to one person if you must give up 50 percent of who you are?" He responded, "I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone. I want to have kids and grandchildren." I then asked him if he was sexually attracted to his wife or if his attraction was based on his attraction to the privileges of the traditional one man, one woman, and monogamy. He agreed that he was sexually attracted to men but socially attracted to his wife.

Another gay man who once had considered himself bisexual said, "I struggled with loneliness and a lack of emotional connection to my wife. I felt the world was right when I spent time with my boy friend, whether it was in bed or not. He and I shared something that I had never felt before, a special bond. I was thunderstruck that it felt so much like my falling in love with my wife, yet it was much more passionate. I can admire an attractive woman with a nice body, but I no longer think I have to bed her like I once did."

For this man, the dissonance between who he was and who he wanted to be became too powerful to contain. Once he aligned his sexual attraction and his behavior, he became uncomfortable with the label "bi," but he remained hesitant to leap toward a complete gay self-identity. Bisexual activists get very angry when others say that bisexuality is nothing more than a place to park until one becomes gay. Many bisexuals believe that they have found integrity and authenticity, an alignment of their attractions, behaviors and identity.

Some say that any man with a penis who is attracted to another man is gay; their world is divided exclusively into gay and straight. But it's just not that simple. How "bisexuality" is applied depends a great deal upon who is using it. Many gay activists consider all closeted men who have sex with men (MSM) to be gay men in hiding, illegitimate members of the gay community. Bisexual activists and the MSM themselves often use "bisexual," but many of these MSM have not found the peace and freedom that comes with congruence of attraction, behavior and identity. For them, being a man still means being a husband and father while anything else is deviant.

Following Stonewall, the homosexual community adopted the word "gay" as a term of self-affirmation. Bisexual activists are attempting to do the same with the term bisexual but they struggle to find recognition and social acceptance of bisexuality. In a culture that still values monogamy as the ideal in relationships, it is hard to get past the issue that all bisexuals who act on their sexual attraction are guilty of infidelity. One said to me, "I identify myself as bisexual, but I feel guilty for stepping out of my marriage to find the intimacy I crave. It is very difficult to maintain a loving relationship at home with my wife." Some have dealt with this by developing small circles of friends committed to polyamory. But there are many, many MSM who are depressed and anxious because their attraction, their behavior and their identity are not in alignment.

We seek connectedness, but to be connected we have to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to be seen, really seen, by another. Life is often lonely for MSM. They know they are just one piece of information away from being abandoned by the closest people in their lives. Being "gay" is not an identity they are prepared to assume. They don't feel comfortable in the heterosexual community where they must continuously edit their thoughts and behaviors so as not to be discovered. They are unwelcomed by the gay community; some would say they are bisexuals by default.

One said, "I want to have a good relationship with guys, kinda best friends, but my friends have to be bisexual because if we have the same situation, we can relate to each other. If a bisexual man loves his wife but craves the touch and physical intimacy of a man -- and doesn't get the same feeling from his wife - who can he talk to about it?" He elaborated further, "Having a relationship with a gay guy is hard because the gay guy might spread the secret. You don't fit in with gay men because of fear that your conflict will be exposed and you'll be labeled gay. The only people you can talk with are other married bisexual men. The bi-guys really keep the secret to themselves." In many places under-ground networks of married MSM exist; in most cases their wives are unaware.

How does a bisexual find a life of true love and intimacy with one person? How can a bisexual man have the depth of feeling which comes from sharing everything when no one person can give him what he needs? Lies and deception are very destructive to relationships. That path may be very difficult to navigate and fraught with pain for all involved. The life of a bisexual can be very difficult unless their primary partner provides the support and freedom to allow him or her the chance to experience intimacy with the other sex.

For non-heterosexuals, the major barriers to sexual self-acceptance are religion and the wish for a traditional, privileged "hetero-normative" life. Many gay activists suggest that one must simply abandon religion, but for those for whom religion is the way they make sense of the world, giving up religion is unthinkable. They believe that changing sexual orientation is more realistic than changing religious beliefs. By most accounts conversiontherapy -- designed to rid oneself of homosexual attractions -- has been a failure.

According to religioustolerance.org(link is external) bisexuality describes how people feel, not necessarily how they act. They say a person can feel attractions to both men and women but make a conscious decision to remain celibate or to confine sexual activity to person(s) of one gender and still be considered a bisexual by themselves and others. An article in the New York Times called "Living the Good Lie(link is external)" suggested that there may be a more nuanced approach. The article said that no therapy was necessary other than to guide a client closer to self acceptance and identity integration. An authentic self might be achieved by balancing two mutually exclusive needs, acknowledging rather than denying sexual feelings but choosing not to act on them. Those interviewed for the article recommended:
1. Admit conflicted feelings to any potential heterosexual partner. 
2. Define the rules of the behavior in your relationship
3. Avoid anything that triggers same-sex attractions 
4. If necessary, use homosexual fantasies while having sex with your spouse

Sexual orientation is far more complex that just heterosexuals and non-heterosexuals, or gay, straight, bi and transgender. Both the gay and bisexual activists seem to wish to claim a purity of definition that does not exist. The function of research is to control and predict; a diverse group cannot be meaningfully studied. Sub-populations can be further divided in to sub-sub-populations, and research demands these discrete categories. Important public health issues like HIV, depression, suicide, and substance abuse are at stake.

I don't really care much if bisexuality is defined as attraction or reaching into someone's pants if it helps to avoid feelings of shame and disconnection. All of us are worthy of being loved, and when labels are used to divide and reject, they are destructive. We seek to enjoy the feeling of love and belonging, and our wish to connect with others is the reason we're here.

[abang]

All I can say...bisexuals and I don't click.

 

I don't even want to know them, much less have sex with them.

Their dicks been to places which are taboo to me.

 

This is my plea for married bisexuals:

You have your family to take care.

Please don't stir the nest - think about your spouse, your children.

They need you more ..than your own sexual needs.

Thank you very much.

[Guest Guest]

We won't be able to understand the sexual craving for both sexes ... Yeah I wouldn't want to meddle with bis and steer clear of them too

[puppyfart]

Sigh... again... wat's this got to do with sexual orientation?

How to explain gay couples with chewdren then? It's ok for them to stir the nest and not think of their families?

Stahp using yr own pre-conceived notions to label individuals based on sexual orientation.

 

All I can say...bisexuals and I don't click.

 

I don't even want to know them, much less have sex with them.

Their dicks been to places which are taboo to me.

 

This is my plea for married bisexuals:

You have your family to take care.

Please don't stir the nest - think about your spouse, your children.

They need you more ..than your own sexual needs.

Thank you very much.

[Guest guest]

Especially the Married Bi men. Don't even believe a single word they say to you. They expect you to tell them the truth when they want to get to know you. But when you ask them anything about themselve, every word that come out of their mouth are all lie or half truth only.

 

And to them you are just fun and a meat to satisfy their lust. When they are tire of you or they feel threaten that you will ruin his married life or get exposed, he will give you all sort of crap reasons to leave or they just simply disappear.

 

Therefore when they tell you that we are still friends, remember that is a total lie too, after sometime you wont even hear from them anymore. 

[Guest Guest]

Can't agree more with above guest!! Lies lies and cover ups to protect themselves .

They just want sex from me and nothing more dont ask so much they won't tell ! That's my experience with a married bi whom I served more than a year. He would text me for sex that's it. Ask more he just give the reply don't bring my family in but can talk cock about usual life only.

In the end I ditched him instead!

[Guest Glyph]

Do gay men, or rather everyone and anyone regardless of sexual orientation, not conjure up lies to protect themselves? Your argument is invalid when one can turn it around back at you.

 

I'd say stop generalising and making light of one's compartmentalising state. You know naught till you're in one's shoes.

[Guest Bi Supporter]

I am gay and I totally support bisexual people.More and more gay people now compartmentalise and criticise those who are not "standard gay". From the persecuted to the persecutor. Ironic, and sad.

 

Funny how the title of this chat already shows a flawed bias. As though straight and gay realities are any less messy! What a joke.

[lormee]

The only useful phrase in that article was 'Define the rules of your behavior in your relationship'. However not with your heterosexual partner, but with whoever you are having a relationship with, unless you have such an open-minded hetero partner. In which case, you've hit the motherload.

 

Stop bitching about bi men, married men etc. We are all adults and let's face it, we get into a purely physical relationship for mutual satisfaction, sure we can be friends and fuck buddies, but at the end of the day, it's to get each other off.

 

If  the two of you happen to take the relationship to the next level, you deserve all the luck in the world to make things work.

 

But if not, please don't expect a happily ever after. You end up bitter and disappointed like abang and guests, because you had false expectations from the beginning and the rules of engagement were not defined.

 

Don't blame it on sexual orientation.

[LongCurious]

IF you know someone just want your flesh, and will lie in your face about it, leave, simple.

So SOUR.

 

its like blaming the whole race when you are not educated

[Guest Guest]

All I can say...bisexuals and I don't click.

 

I don't even want to know them, much less have sex with them.

Their dicks been to places which are taboo to me.

 

This is my plea for married bisexuals:

You have your family to take care.

Please don't stir the nest - think about your spouse, your children.

They need you more ..than your own sexual needs.

Thank you very much.

 

This almost sounds like what a homophobic person would say to a gay.. We want everyone to accept homosexuality, while this person here condemns bisexuality, especially since bisexuals tends to be the biggest supporters of homosexuals ourselves? That's just so hypocritical.

[EasleyLim]

Warms my cold cynical heart a wee bit to see the positive responses here.

 

Bi men are no more prone to cheating than gay or straight men are. To generalize as such would be tantamount to painting the entire gay community as pedophiles because of that one engineer that molested 30 little boys. Really disappointed that some of the most senior and respected members would say something like that. It is every bit as bigoted and ignorant as it sounds, and yet the hypocrisy still somehow managed to elude them.

[Muscleanstr8btm]

If you can accept to eat chicken, meat, lamb, pork, fish, prawn etc., why you can't accept fhe diversity of people?

If you can't eat squid, don't buy or eat it.

[Guest Guest]

Ok abang just made bisexuals sound like lepers, but I'm sure that's not his intention. I think he's voicing his personal preferences but wasn't tactful about it, AS USUAL.

[Guest wozzit]

As others hv said, what on earth does it matter? Some people r gay, some bi n most r straight. Why is it some posters reckon a bi person must b mostly gay or mostly bi, or r guys who cheat on their partners?

I hv 3 friends I hv known for many years. One told his wife-to-b that he had feelings for men. They still married, had 5 kids, r happy n will never part. Another did not tell his wife, but again the marriage has lasted more than 30 years with 4 kids despite my friend's occasional meetings with guys.

We do not fit stereotypes. We r all different. If u dont like bis, keep away fm them. If you find ur self having sex with one, whats the problem? U dont know the social backgrounds of the guys u meet in saunas or casually on the beach, but many gays happily have sex with them!

[Guest Peace & harmony]

Totally agree with wozzit.

 

'Cum' on guys, give yourself and every other ones some space & respect - be it gay, straight, or bi, or whatever...

 

Every individual should be respected for his sexual orientation & preference, and no one is above all.

 

You can be gay, bi, or straight ... the fact is you still need a partner ( man or woman) to have sex and pleasure.  

 

Unless you can stay faithful to your partner (man or woman) and be married to one faithfully in your entire life, you (gay, bi or straight) will likely be no better than the others, if you have chosen to 'fuck' around with many partners (regardless you play with only same sex, entirely opposite sex, or with both sexes).

 

Hence, do Respect that the world contains unique individuals, each has the right to its sexual orientation.  

Straights should not despise gays, nor should gays despise bi's , etc.

 

Live and let live.  Everyone can co-exist harmoniously. PEACE ! 

 

 

[Guest Mnjnxxxx]

I'm bisexual and it is absolutely disgusting to see married man having sex with other men just because they are "bisexual". You get married because you love that person, not because of your sexual desires. If so, straight married men should just have sex with other women too. Honestly bi or not bi, marriage is a big deal and I don't get how people would want to have sex with someone who is married.

[Guest Guest]

I'm bisexual and it is absolutely disgusting to see married man having sex with other men just because they are "bisexual". You get married because you love that person, not because of your sexual desires. If so, straight married men should just have sex with other women too. Honestly bi or not bi, marriage is a big deal and I don't get how people would want to have sex with someone who is married. 

 

By your argument, while you're bisexual and not married, you're simply fooling around with men and women, since you're not in love with them ?

[Guest Guest]

I'm bisexual and it is absolutely disgusting to see married man having sex with other men just because they are "bisexual". You get married because you love that person, not because of your sexual desires. If so, straight married men should just have sex with other women too. Honestly bi or not bi, marriage is a big deal and I don't get how people would want to have sex with someone who is married.

Exactly the same thought of many straights who are extreme disgusted with gays .....they would only accept straight guys with many girlfriends ...

[Guest Guest]

As others hv said, what on earth does it matter? Some people r gay, some bi n most r straight. Why is it some posters reckon a bi person must b mostly gay or mostly bi, or r guys who cheat on their partners?

I hv 3 friends I hv known for many years. One told his wife-to-b that he had feelings for men. They still married, had 5 kids, r happy n will never part. Another did not tell his wife, but again the marriage has lasted more than 30 years with 4 kids despite my friend's occasional meetings with guys.

We do not fit stereotypes. We r all different. If u dont like bis, keep away fm them. If you find ur self having sex with one, whats the problem? U dont know the social backgrounds of the guys u meet in saunas or casually on the beach, but many gays happily have sex with them!

That is because your friends' ugly wives can sleep with other men and feels no shame !

[EasleyLim]

By your argument, while you're bisexual and not married, you're simply fooling around with men and women, since you're not in love with them ?

 

If you're assuming love can exists ONLY when one gets married then yes. Which is rubbish.

 

What he's assuming is that people should only get married when they love each other, and not because they want to bonk each other. Which is also rubbish. (although everything else about using bisexuality as an excuse to cheat is valid)

 

Marriage doesn't sustain itself on pure love alone. The ability to find each other fuckable is also important.

[Guest Guest]

Back to the topic please, we're not discussing about whether married men have the rights to screw others.  

Marriage is just an institution, and if gay marriage is legalised, then married gay men should stay faithful too.

 

Here, we're saying unmarried gay, straight or bi has every right to screw anyone according to their sexual preference, and who are we to discriminate them?

 

 

 

 

[Guest Glyph]

Back to the topic please, we're not discussing about whether married men have the rights to screw others.  

Marriage is just an institution, and if gay marriage is legalised, then married gay men should stay faithful too.

 

Here, we're saying unmarried gay, straight or bi has every right to screw anyone according to their sexual preference, and who are we to discriminate them?

lulwut? You mean to say monogamy cannot be achieved without legal bindings? What of couples that cohabit? What happened to fidelity?

If you wanted to make a general statement, then perhaps it'd be more appropriate to say "Everyone has the right to screw anyone they want."

[Guest Guest]

Yes, simply put: "Everyone has the right to screw anyone, based on their sexual preference".

 

Bringing in institution (marriage) & moral values (fidelity) clouds the discussion.

 

Gays and Straights can choose to be monogamous, with or without marriage, but Bi's will be challenged ... messiness starts here.

 

Even if Bi's choose to remain faithful to one man and one woman, he can never be monogamous by definition.

[Guest Guest]

i think gays and straights are lucky lot of people. they can feel complete even if they stay monogamous.

 

bi's will always feel incomplete if they stay monogamous, and will often get chastised for cheating.

 

in real life, how many of us really remain monogamous ?  hence, stop labeling the bi's

[EasleyLim]

Even if Bi's choose to remain faithful to one man and one woman

 

he can never be monogamous by definition.

 

LOLWAT. You do know what is the definition of monogamy right? 

Edited April 18, 2015 by EasleyLim

[Guest Guest]

:yuk:   :yuk: if you think serial monogamy makes you less polyamorous or polygamous, you are just kidding yourself  :yuk:

[Guest Glyph]

Yes, simply put: "Everyone has the right to screw anyone, based on their sexual preference".

 

Bringing in institution (marriage) & moral values (fidelity) clouds the discussion.

 

Gays and Straights can choose to be monogamous, with or without marriage, but Bi's will be challenged ... messiness starts here.

 

Even if Bi's choose to remain faithful to one man and one woman, he can never be monogamous by definition.

i think gays and straights are lucky lot of people. they can feel complete even if they stay monogamous.

 

bi's will always feel incomplete if they stay monogamous, and will often get chastised for cheating.

 

in real life, how many of us really remain monogamous ?  hence, stop labeling the bi's

:yuk:   :yuk: if you think serial monogamy makes you less polyamorous or polygamous, you are just kidding yourself  :yuk:

And you'd point the knife at one who shields you? I am disappoint.

[Guest Guest]

And you'd point the knife at one who shields you? I am disappoint.

   bro, no pun intended ...    just perspectives of how one views it, take no offence  :yuk:  :yuk:

[Guest wozzit]

That is because your friends' ugly wives can sleep with other men and feels no shame !

N u I suppose think thats a clever response. Its not. Its just childish.

[puppyfart]

Your point is about fidelity when married tho. it's nothing to do with sexual orientation.

 

So we know in the real world, str8 married men do have sex with other women... and so do gay married couples with other men, so do bi married men with other men and women...

 

Your view of marriage is dat of commitment while gr8, does not have any bearing on sexual orientation.

 

How one views marriage and sex outside of marriage are basically defined by the rules established by the couple, or perhaps behind the other person's knowledge.

 

Who are we to say what's disgusting and what's not as long as they can manage the relationship.

 

I'm bisexual and it is absolutely disgusting to see married man having sex with other men just because they are "bisexual". You get married because you love that person, not because of your sexual desires. If so, straight married men should just have sex with other women too. Honestly bi or not bi, marriage is a big deal and I don't get how people would want to have sex with someone who is married.

Edited April 18, 2015 by puppyfart

[Allegro]

I used to know a guy who was into older married men. He told me they would loiter in social apps (grindr,jackd,romeo) then invite him to have sex, some even in their bedrooms! They yearn the touch of a man but I still find it unacceptable, both to what this guy and those married men are doing.

Imagine if your father is one of them. Being bisexual is not an excuse, you are married and should remember the vows you made to her, be responsible!

Edited April 19, 2015 by Allegro

[Guest Guest]

I used to know a guy who was into older married men. He told me they would loiter in social apps (grindr,jackd,romeo) then invite him to have sex, some even in their bedrooms! They yearn the touch of a man but I still find it unacceptable, both to what this guy and those married men are doing.

Imagine if your father is one of them. Being bisexual is not an excuse, you are married and should remember the vows you made to her, be responsible!

 

You think your father hasn't slept with any other people after all these years, just because he is married? Sexual orientation has nothing to do with sexual loyalty. In this case, at least the married man solved his itch without the risk of another child (your half sibling) popping up at his doorsteps years later.

[Guest Nesshie]

I'm not a bi or gay, I don't know what the hell my sexual orientation is. It's all over the place. Too messy lol :yuk:

[Guest Glyph]

I'm not a bi or gay, I don't know what the hell my sexual orientation is. It's all over the place. Too messy lol :yuk:

And what has that got to do with the topic at hand?

[Guest Guest]

It takes all kinds of people to make this world.  

Remember the Venn Diagrams we had to study for Maths in school.

 

Now, imagine a box (the world) filled will one big circle and some smaller ones. Some intersecting with the big one and some that don't. And then imagine many even smaller ones all around the previous circles, some intersecting and some that don't.

 

And this is the world we live in.

 

The point I'm trying to make is accept first ourselves as who we are, do no harm to others and treat others how we want to be treated. But mostly importantly love others and accept them for who they are, too.

[Guest]

i think is greedy and lust.

 

can't commit a gay relationship

can't divorce due to children

 

the most is face value.

 

i have a few bad encounter with married man...

say love but need release sex urge due to wife can't provide

say love for the family and children but still hook with stranger ons.

 

when wife confronts, kiasi with fear

when wife ask for divorce, cry wimpy

when wife demand sex, dick limpy

 

i m not referring to all.....a handful that i encounter on my previous experience.

 

Not reliable personality and responsibility to family and children.

Edited October 14, 2015 by Guest

[Guest WhatBi?]

Bisexual is a result from being greedy and indecisiveness, hence as already said they are not reliable for those looking for husband material.

[puppyfart]

I donno which rock you have been living under, but bisexuality is a sexual orientation, just like any other sexual orientation

 

Greed and indecisiveness is irregardless of the orientation.

 

A gay or str8 dude can be just as, if not more, greedy and indecisive

 

Bisexual is a result from being greedy and indecisiveness, hence as already said they are not reliable for those looking for husband material.

[Guest BiChoice]

Yes a choice as they are attracted to both sexes. Actually they are better off than straight and gay as they can choose but due to their greed and indecisive so they go to both sexes.

[Dandriel]

Having a bite of chocolate does not immediately make me a chocolate fan, it could be because I felt like eating it for just that one instance, because the packaging looks appealing, etc. I don't think any of us are ever a 100% (insert label), especially in the area of psychometric. It helps with understanding if you look at it like a scale of sorts. If I am 85% gay and 15% curious, I will most probably identify as gay than not (whether I choose to admit it is a separate issue). But if I am 60-40, then I'm probably am bi. 

 

Hope it helps. 

[Guest BiTempted]

Atbleast You can choose not to eat the chocolate even though tempted by it. Straight and gay can't choose hence the topic's answer is a choice.

[LongCurious]

You can never educate one that doesnt want to learn.

 

Of course bisexual is not a choice, you see rice you like it, you see pasta you like it, who the hell tells you that you cant choose to eat both?

 

A gay can be 100% attracted to male and 0 % to female

A straight can be 100% attracted to female and 0% to male

A bisexual can be anything IN BETWEEN, attraction in a few senses, emotional and physical.

It can be 20% attracted to male and 80% to female, 20% in a sense maybe just for sex. Its up to you to find yourself and where do you exactly stand.

 

A male can enjoy a blowjob from a guy, kiss a guy, but have no emotional attachment towards the guy.

A male can feel emotionally attached to a guy only and not any to a female.

 

And for all the dreamers out there wishing that you could change someone, stop doing it, the only person you should change is yourself!

 

He who hold all the knowledge is the one in control.

[Guest 72%dark]

There are two separate issues to the question of choice: whether someone is able to form an attraction to a person, and whether they actually act on the attraction that they feel for that person.

 

Say somebody walks past you on the street. You're either attracted to that person (to some degree), or not. It's not something you consciously ‘decide’; you merely become aware of the feeling of attraction. For some the object of their attraction is always of the same sex, for others it's always the opposite sex; for bisexuals it could be someone of either sex (to varying degrees).

 

Bear in mind of course that just as a gay man isn't automatically attracted to another man just because he has a penis, nor is a straight man attracted to any woman just because she has a vagina, a bisexual isn't some mysterious species of voracious sexual omnivore that will go for anything human; bisexuals do have preferences too, which are as complex and poorly understood as anyone else's.

 

In any case, to the extent that no one gets to exert a conscious decision over whether or not they find a person attractive, the ability to form an attraction is not a choice. The fact that a bisexual is capable of being attracted to persons of either sex is not a choice.

 

What is a choice is whether they choose to act on their attractions or not. 

 

If the person passing you on the street catches your eye, do you initiate contact with the hope of establishing some further connection? That's a choice, but it's not one specific to bisexuals.

 

So I guess what this kind of question really boils down to is: If a bisexual finds themself in a situation where it is possible to pursue a lover of the same or opposite sex, what role does ‘choice’ play in the decision?

 

I'm not bi and have never been in such a situation before, so I can't speak from personal experience. But I imagine that this kind of question is overly reductive. If I were in a position to choose between two possible lovers, there would be a myriad factors to consider, and their genitalia would probably be the least of my concerns. But perhaps those who are bi can provide their perspectives.