Wide Age Gap Relationship + R/ship Btw A Younger And Older Guy + Does Age Matters In A R/ship? (Compiled)

[Asura]

frankly speaking, whats wrong with an elder guy with a young guy?

Are we adpating a mindset of a young girl married to an old man? Since we PLUs do have a care free mentality of choosing who ever you like and whatever sex you like, why is there still a mentality on old and young, not fit???

I do agree with TC and Panda when they say some "matured" man are childish. I am still wondering everything when someone intro that he likes "matured" man, I would ask him....

"Oh, you like matured man, so does mature means the years he exist on earth or the quantity of grey matters in his head?"

I really think, some is about looks, while many is talking about characteristic.... now who really care how long he live on earth?

[like wind]

life is a journey of learning that never end. We learn from others, surrounding, experiencing, and etc... We learn on our own. We learn with others. So, it doesn't mean you live long, you learned more. Different people have different knowledge in life that we can learn from.

The most important things in relationship are communication and mutual understanding/respect. Sometime, age, race, shape, and etc don't really matter the much...

I'm looking for inner beauty if I'm looking for a relationship. But, till I meet my fate, I will just roam free like the wind from now

Feel like wind, roaming free

[Panda_9791]

Yah, my experience is some mature men are childish lah. So for the past few yrs, i had the good fortune of meeting really nice mature men, i guess that's partially because of me being older (maybe wiser) and hence able to connect with those mature men who are nice.

[Guest Guest]

My guess is about being able to be connected with the matured that you've chosen if you like him for whatever reason/s....be it for love/lust/companionship, afraid of being lonely or cruise ailmlessly, etc. After all the meaningless sex in g-spots, we all got tired and wishes to settle down. Dont we all? Cant go on forever from one bf to another. Find one that you desrved your sacrifice and dont expect anything in return.

[tic-toc]

About the 15 years' age gap... it is also a question of perspective.

If one is age 45 and the other is 60, there seems to be no big difference (physically and mentally).

if one is age 18 and the other is 33, more adjustments would be needed.

[bukitpanjang]

i was 17 and he was 28.

we broke off when i was 23 (sometime during ns). we still keep in touch.

i was 19 turning 20. when i knew him, and he was about 40.

till now he's still the most caring, romantic person towards me.

been trying to date guys my age or younger for the longest of times.

all crashed and burned within weeks.

[reflection]

About the 15 years' age gap... it is also a question of perspective.

If one is age 45 and the other is 60, there seems to be no big difference (physically and mentally).

if one is age 18 and the other is 33, more adjustments would be needed.

Yes, you have a valid point...

[kiddo]

ahhahaha i know i know!!!!! Reflection!!!! my bf and i is a good example(as least tats what i think) =x....lols... as you all know he is 2x my age....and yea la he always have this i eat more salt then you thinking...but i dont care =p i still scold him and make him cry.....not because i want to but maybe because i am more to hmm...lets put it rebelious side of a kid ba =x lols!! anyways yea its not about age..... but you must satisfy the boy's sex drive....so i guess its better to get a boy tat has a low sex drive if you have a low one if not otherwise ba....anyways there is not such things as a smooth sailing r/s la....its all rubbish..... must remember try your best to do everything to make a r/s work until you tell yourself you had already done enough then give up....or maybe hmm dont give up until the other party dump you ba =x(just my 1cent worth not really a love guru point of view...no heart feelings if any of my words is hurting) anways i tend to hurt him by what i say la...so its okies.....he only tells me off and i dont do it again....=) i find tat being in a r/s with a big age gap is not really a problem...but its all just erm...on how you enjoy and look at the r/s....though when i go out with him some Ajs still gossip tat why is this kid with that old man....and think tat i am after him for money....which is so not true.....after all its people's tongue....all i know is....i love my dar dar =) i dont care what others thinks =)

[reflection]

ahhahaha i know i know!!!!! Reflection!!!! my bf and i is a good example(as least tats what i think) =x....lols... as you all know he is 2x my age....and yea la he always have this i eat more salt then you thinking...but i dont care =p i still scold him and make him cry.....not because i want to but maybe because i am more to hmm...lets put it rebelious side of a kid ba =x lols!! anyways yea its not about age..... but you must satisfy the boy's sex drive....so i guess its better to get a boy tat has a low sex drive if you have a low one if not otherwise ba....anyways there is not such things as a smooth sailing r/s la....its all rubbish..... must remember try your best to do everything to make a r/s work until you tell yourself you had already done enough then give up....or maybe hmm dont give up until the other party dump you ba =x(just my 1cent worth not really a love guru point of view...no heart feelings if any of my words is hurting) anways i tend to hurt him by what i say la...so its okies.....he only tells me off and i dont do it again....=) i find tat being in a r/s with a big age gap is not really a problem...but its all just erm...on how you enjoy and look at the r/s....though when i go out with him some Ajs still gossip tat why is this kid with that old man....and think tat i am after him for money....which is so not true.....after all its people's tongue....all i know is....i love my dar dar =) i dont care what others thinks =)

Thanks kiddo for your input from the perspective of the young bf...yes this is something I must discuss with the other young party.

[reflection]

Thought this song is inspirational for a matured man and young guy to go into such a relationship

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyUzwNSAK-g

[kiddo]

ahhahaha i know i know!!!!! Reflection!!!! my bf and i is a good example(as least tats what i think) =x....lols... as you all know he is 2x my age....and yea la he always have this i eat more salt then you thinking..................

Thanks kiddo for your input from the perspective of the young bf...yes this is something I must discuss with the other young party.

yes of course you must =) because i do feel that when there is a huge age gap in a r/s the other parties may think tat money is concern...i mean as what singaporeans are....money money money...but what they dont really know is the love in the r/s it was always misunderstood for cash purpose especially in relationships when the older one is working and the younger one is studying....although it may seem that the younger one is living off the older one...but its all caused by some black sheeps whom think tat money can be earned easily like this....

[reflection]

Found another song

[Guest VirginBreaker.]

i was 17 and he was 28.

we broke off when i was 23 (sometime during ns). we still keep in touch.

i was 19 turning 20. when i knew him, and he was about 40.

till now he's still the most caring, romantic person towards me.

been trying to date guys my age or younger for the longest of times.

all crashed and burned within weeks.

Your ex must be a virgin breaker, so you are one of his victims.

[Massagee]

Your ex must be a virgin breaker, so you are one of his victims.

Mr NightSoilCarrier strikes again.

What do you expect BukitPanjang to say? "Oh yes he was a virgin breaker and I was his victim"? Don't cheapen a 6-year relationship, it can't be just about sex.

Back to the topic, guys.

[haowuliao]

It is already not easy being a PLU, needless to say about PLU couple with great age difference. This is so as age differences will also mean that there's different standard of living, different perspective and also (come on, we are plu, sex IS impt) different level of sex drive.

To make a 15 years age relationship works, more than just commitment is required. Understanding that the other party has different needs and different living habits is also something that is vital for the propogation of the relationship. However, this is also relative in certain cases lahz. (i.e. a 20 yo with 35 and someone who is 30 with a partner that is 45).

I do think that 1 vital point for such a relationship to work is both party has to be financially independent. Being a younger guy, it is quite sickening that the older party offers to pay all the time. I mean, come on, sometimes we do have that little pride in us to support for our own needs. And, when 1 party is continuously paying, he tends to expect more out of the other party. Hence, the younger guy might feel restricted at times.

My 2 cents worth, everybody

[thad]

haowulia - i really value your 2-cent's worth - there's lotsa truth in what u said

[Guest Age Gap]

This is a topic pretty close to my heart. It's my first time posting so try not to go too hard on my comments. I celebrated my 2 year anniversary with my bf who will be 72 this year and me, 25. I've been sexually attracted to older men as long as I could remember so it wasn't surprising tat I have never dated anyone younger than 50. It was smooth sailing during the initial periods but the gradual emergence of differences caused much grief between us coupled with a period with me living in the west and him in asia.

He tended to be very set in his ways and doesn't show as much affection as I would like. And I was demanding and like to nitpick at the things he does. But after enduring that period of separation, I thought our relationship really strengthened. As we spent more time together, I also realized both of us started changing in subtle ways that resulted in less and less arguments. So in this respect, I don't believe that age has too big an influence on whether the relationship will succeed as long as the personalities match and both parties know how to give and take at the appropriate times. Sex is still great given he's age so I'm lucky in this regard.

That's not to say the age gap doesn't present other problems. We will not get to grow old together, and it is highly likely I' will be the one to suffer the grief when he is lost. And I have gotten questions like is he is my father (I'm asian and he's caucasian...duh) when we go out for meals. Not to mention the discrimination by fellow PLU who thinks that one can only like older men because we are after the money or lacked fatherly love. Perhaps there is some truth to the latter but I doubt there are many would do not like to experience the warmth, care, and love a mature person can give. On the family issues, how can I even begin to tell my conservative family about my life. Mom, dad, I'm in love with someone much older than me, oh and by the way, he's a man (and an ang moh). Lies and deceit will only carry you so far before you trip over one of them.

But despite these issues, we try to maintain a positive outlook that we can lead a meaningful life together as long as we have each other's support. Life will not be easy and I'm sure there are other people out there in the same situation. We'll just have to live each day as it is and be thankful for each morning we wake up to one another.

[Massagee]

Thanks Age Gap for sharing something so personal and precious to enrich us all. It's truly beautiful to have diversity and the means to overcome all obstacles it brings.

[dreamcatcher59]

i find it nothing wrong to have a bf with a big age gap. I remember when i was 21 years of age just finish my national service and started my new job. I met my fisrt bf which cruising at ochard rd. i remember after watching the movie called " endless love". I told my best friend who is gay that I wish i will have endles love too. That night I met my first bf after cruising at ochard rd. Around Hilton hotel the walkway. And he was at that time 51years old. That an age gap of 30 yaers. we were together for 23 years, sadly he died 2 years ago of cancer. since he is a heavy smoker. He left he a small fortune on his will. Today I am 48 and i am now attach to a younger gay age 28 and we are 20 years different. Both of us are happy as i finally choose him. So love depend on how you value a long term relationship. There are many ups and downs and sometimes you have to be strong to overcome it.

[reflection]

I am amazed by the sharing of people with even a more bigger age gap and several of them are encouraging. Thanks to those who share their X-files.

[Guest Guest]

dreamcatcher59, whwn your ang mo b/f died ,did he leave you a big fortune and you used the money to court younger boys becareful of retribution you should donate some money to charity :clap:

[Guest Guest]

dreamcatcher59, whwn your ang mo b/f died ,did he leave you a big fortune and you used the money to court younger boys becareful of retribution you should donate some money to charity :clap:

What crap!! By the way, which planet are you from!!?

[bukitpanjang]

well virgin breaker or not... victimised or otherwise...

young guys who start early may have more to lose.

be it something physical, ie virginity... or something like a perception of true love.

i'm sorry to say for all those posts that make fun of people who are sharing their experiences. such comments does not mean anything... since we're all adults. we know why we take actions on events in our lives.

we know why we chose who we want to spend some years of our lives with. whether it blossoms into the happiest 6-7 years of my life only i know and only i have it in my memories. and only i have it close to my heart.

if you or anyone else have not experienced a time of your life, shared with someone who is not your kin, and where both of you can really say, "hey i'm happy with you", then you're not as well of as i am.

[addicktz]

I think as with any other relationship, there is no real advice one can give for people who are considering a relationship with someone relatively younger/older. Instead, I think one has to consider why he likes this person and what he is prepared to give to the relationship.

I'm 28 this year and my other half is 42. We've been together for 8 years now and we're still loving every moment of it. Sure, we've had out fair share of problems but which relationship doesn't? If there are no kinks in the relationship, how are both parties supposed to grow?

As for my case, we don't really share common interests, but that won't stop us being together. If I have just one advice to share, it's to give and take. One party cannot always be the one giving or taking. It has to be mutual.

And it always helps if the younger guy's more mature in his thinking.

Anyway, for all out there who are considering someone younger or older, ask yourself. What is stopping you? Are these obstacles big ones? And if so, can they be overcome? If your answer is yes, then I'd say give it a shot. Yes, you never know what might come out of the relationship but just think for a minute. Who can?

[oralb]

in a relationship (any kind) we all seek something

the mature seeking the lost youth and active spirit of the youger, while the younger in turn look for stability and guidance from the elder (of coz whether they got what they wanted is another matter)

[bukitpanjang]

i won't discount the fact that at that age i really dun have anything to offer in terms of knowledge/experience/wealth etc etc to a mature guy.

neither can i say that we both were not looking for anything physical.

in fact there were so many factors involved that i don't think both parties had the time calculating risks involved in getting to know someone with so much age difference. which is the main issue in the first place.

ie, not treating it as a calculated risk/move, not treating it as "what i can get out of the relationship"... merely 2 guys who just realize that we can spend time together without treating each other as another trophy on our shelf.

what happens when you start calculating the gains of being with someone or calculating the losses for being with someone?

[Guest Me]

Not trying to side track but just noticed something very similar.

I am very sure there are lots of young men with loves company of old women. Very often you see very well dressed young men sitting in coffee outlets with a older lady. Most of the time if you don't notice carefully you will think they are just mother and son or even grandmother and grandson. If you observe carefully, you will know they are not!

[Guest Another_guest]

dreamcatcher59, whwn your ang mo b/f died ,did he leave you a big fortune and you used the money to court younger boys becareful of retribution you should donate some money to charity :clap:

You must be sick to think this way, I bet you have gone through a bad childhood.

Let us know if you need help.

[homeboi]

my ex is 13 yrs elder but i found out that he like much older guys than him.... that's why i broke up with him

if he would love me... i will hang on to him but he admiited he like older man so i have to leave him and hope he happy with other older guys

[like wind]

dreamcatcher59, whwn your ang mo b/f died ,did he leave you a big fortune and you used the money to court younger boys becareful of retribution you should donate some money to charity :clap:

Can I be your B/f, Guest? And then, get your fortune to do charity?

Your thinking is the one I look down on. No always the young is looking for the old fortune when they are together.

By the way, I also look down on those money boy. :swear: We are young. So, we can work and earn for ourselves with proper ways. Don't make shame on us: the Y(young)-generation. Have our pride.

feel like wind, roaming free

[dreamcatcher59]

I sponsor 3 kids in Chaingmai, Their parents died of AIDS. When i visited them I saw the cindition they live in. An old shack with door or windows. I don't need my ex bf money. Now they are big and educated as sponsor their education. When they were small and with no parents. I hug them all they need is a warm hugs and a good education so that they will be usedful to society. Rather than i see them end up as gogo boys or street boys in Pattaya or in Bangkok. So now I am education my younger bf to be charitable and not take life for granted. Last 2 months we went to bangkok and i show him how the thai boys life is all about.

[Guest Btm Uncle]

Dont say I sex crazy because I always talk sex important. I dont like people talk lies.

One old one young sure sex not balanced. One want less one want more. Here got many rich tokay got mistress. Always old and young. Everybody also know sex not balanced. The mistress sometimes will run away with younger men. Then everybody gossip say old tokay cannot sex in bed hahaha. I think gay one also same.

But not true. I talk to some. They shy shy say can lah let him play loh.. Because I tell people I legs open open let people play then they not shy talk to me. Like that play whole night also can.

But then sometime the young men no brains one. This thing go tell their good friends then later meet the good friends so embarrassing questions until want to die.

[alex_skylover]

We are young. So, we can work and earn for ourselves with proper ways.

I agree with WInd..

We younger guys can earn quite a fair bit too.. And dun need an older guy to support us

I dun mind a man who's 20yrs my senior as long as there's love.. As long as the guy is true to the relationship.. True love is very important in a relationship

[Guest Guest]

My bf is 46yo and i just had my 21st birthday few days ago.

he's being elder 25years than me. ...

[thad]

i agree with: like wind and alex_skylover

[Guest Abused.]

My bf is 46yo and i just had my 21st birthday few days ago.

he's being elder 25years than me. ...

Wow! my father also 25 years older than me.

[like wind]

Thank you for your supports, Alex_skylover & Thad.

Feel like wind, roaming free.

[bornfree]

he likes mature guy, so we are together, me 20yo older that him, but now he has a steady gal fren, though we borke off but still keep in contact

[Guest Guest]

he likes mature guy, so we are together, me 20yo older that him, but now he has a steady gal fren, though we borke off but still keep in contact

Dont waste your time. Move on.

[Guest Manos]

I'm the creator of a social network for older gay men and their admirers (www.loveold.ning.com. I was reading recently an article that is is very difficult for older gay men to find partners in Asian countries due to age discrimination, a non understanding traditional society, etc...how true is that?

[Roger]

Good luck to you Manos, you have my support. I think its not just the older men thats having difficulty in finding a good partner. Gay men in Singapore do not have the culture of commitment, their ideal of love and sex need to be further developed. The thought they know all about love, sex and commitment, but they DON'T.

Sometimes they equate love to being processivness/jealousy/infatuation/dizzy puppy love etc. Anyway its not for me to judge, we all learn as we get along, its good that you give people a chance to practise love and commitment, hopefully we all grow. The environment now is better than say 10 years ago and you should be moving in the right direction.

Maybe we can have this in the future!

Edited August 27, 2009 by Roger

[Guest M]

I'm the creator of a social network for older gay men and their admirers (www.loveold.ning.com. I was reading recently an article that is is very difficult for older gay men to find partners in Asian countries due to age discrimination, a non understanding traditional society, etc...how true is that?

me thinks this is more an issue in western societies. Plu in Asia love their old relatively. Japan is a prime example. Moreover asians age better on ave compared to his western counterparts?

[agog]

.

Edited November 5, 2020 by agog

[Guest Manos]

Go Gosh! That couple makes me so envious!!

Hmm... I think I better start saving and planning for mine in the eons to come...

Rayner, this couple DOES look very happy and it can be a good example for all of us. It can happen to us, as well!

[Guest Manos]

Good luck to you Manos, you have my support. I think its not just the older men thats having difficulty in finding a good partner. Gay men in Singapore do not have the culture of commitment, their ideal of love and sex need to be further developed. The thought they know all about love, sex and commitment, but they DON'T.

Sometimes they equate love to being processivness/jealousy/infatuation/dizzy puppy love etc. Anyway its not for me to judge, we all learn as we get along, its good that you give people a chance to practise love and commitment, hopefully we all grow. The environment now is better than say 10 years ago and you should be moving in the right direction.

Maybe we can have this in the future!

Thank you very much for the support Roger. Since I'm Greek I will have to share my experience as well.I think that Greek men are very much like the men from Singapore. There is a saying here "Na pername kala" meaning, lets have a good time and forget about anything else. Most Greek men care for the excitement of the moment rather the emotional commitment. For some people it works...but really for how many years someone can have one night stands and feel complete inside...? Anyways ...again thank you for the support.

[Guest gonenorth]

How do you guys feel abut the age diff in relationships?

I feel age doesn't matter, as the only diff is the amt of life experience either partner have.

I'm 20 & my partner's 43,we've been in a stable relationship for abt 3 yrs already.

[Guest ym]

I believe a big age difference does not affect the relationship as long as both have the same mentality and objectives. My ex at the age of 45 still wear like 20+ and went parties with friends. I was 33 then. Our priorities in life are so different that I called it off. And 5 years later, he's now 50 and heard that he still partying all the nights. He's like a bee that could stop flying from flower to another flower. I would wish him all the best and no hatred there.

I am now settled down with a homely man and we bought our own house. We're now looking into doing some business together. I also believe that there is always a matching-half our there waiting for us. It is just our Luck if we can meet them to complete as a whole !

[Guest Guest]

Age makes a big difference in bed obviously. I know an older bottom who is very masculine but his younger bf always "bully" him in bed. Out of bed the younger is less dominating. Only in front of friends they playfully showed their sex roles and the younger tease the older by rubbing his butts, rubbing his chest etc and the older one's face showed he enjoyed it.

[sfguy123]

my partner and i have been together for 4years almost 5 the age diff. doesn't bother me or my partner we just enjoy each other and live life he's 59 top i'm 29 this year

[tkong]

TQ all friend share with.. you are most lucky one....

I with my dear 13+yrs, pass away 8yrs ago,it take me long tm lost no way. last yrs i met a close my age guy,happy with him hope can enjoy both winter year together... not much to think again..