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The Death Of Gay Tumblr Blogs?


hbst

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Guest Consequences

If he is still ashamed of doing so, he wouldn't have done it in the first place.

If he knew of the consequences before, all of this wouldn't have happened.

And if he made his decision not to accept that this thing would've happen (in which you call "not having the guts to admit"), then yes, it is his fault.

 

My point still stands if he understood the consequences, it wouldn't necessarily be his fault if he tried to stop this from spreading. Though a blatant reminder that he shouldn't engage with this activity anymore would've been a better idea to prevent from tainting his reputation any further. Else, he should have seen it coming and should take it more seriously at hand. 

 

I'm not saying that he should be getting away that easily, even if it isn't his fault. I'm not encouraging him to do it and make the same mistake again. I did not say "I really do hope people learn about this; please be careful with who you're engaging with, that's all." for nothing; if things like this happened once, it can happen again. That's why I urged everyone to be careful with who they're engaging with. If things like that happened, it's wise to not do it again. Whether they feel ashamed or not, that is not our position to know.

 

He shouldn't be doing anymore of this now that this has taken to a whole new level of... well whatever it has become.

 

Can we at least try to say that we're not making the friend feel extremely bad while at the same time try to teach him a lesson about what would happened if this thing happened again. Hostility does not help.

We are not interested whether the subject is ashamed of doing the deed or not but note that he is clearly ashamed of being exposed or found out!

 

Whether or not he was clueless about being exposed is immaterial since his action suggests that he is ashamed of further tainting his reputation.

 

We are given to understand that his predicament is having to face his religious family whose religion frowns on homosexuality / homosexual acts now that he's been exposed not that he is ashamed of engaging in gay sex! 

 

Since his reputation is important, and this is the crux of the matter - never do something that you cannot bear being exposed!  That's just common sense.  

 

If however you do proceed with a reputation damaging act, then be prepared to accept responsibility and face the consequences instead of blaming others for his willful act when exposed.  

 

Hoping to get away with a reputation damaging act done under cover / covertly or in presumed secret is not only risky but also tempting fate and ultimately self-destructive.  This is the basis of how blackmail / extortion works.  Fear of exposure empowers the blackmailers / those who could sully one's reputation.

 

Also if his intent was to limit further damage to his reputation, the better position to have taken would have been an acknowledgement of his culpability in becoming the subject of salacious posts and seek the forum community's help (i.e.BW) in minimising its spread, rather than allowing himself to be portrayed as an innocent, blameless victim shifting the blame solely to the ex and bloggers over and over again. (even if it was undertaken by an over zealous friend)  That is what elicits hostility.

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