Guest jazz Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 hi im in a relationship for a year but there are no sex between us and is it normal ?i want to have sex but was rejected and i had given up on this.....though we had great times being togetherhowever i knows he fools around with other guys and im still being faithful to him and sometimes i feel so miserable i have a strong feeling that my best friend even had sex with him:( what should i do any advise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buaya Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 I thought mine was bad as we had sex only once a week to 2-3 weeks, and he was seeking sex outside (until I discovered and we talked about it)... But yours don't want to have sex with you totally? As in you guys NEVER had sex? Wow... Then why still together? Especially since he might be sleeping with everyone around you, except you!... Ok, why not talk to him... Have a honest talk. Tell him how you feel. Though love is not all about sex, sex is something important in a relationship between 2 persons in love. Even 2 tops or 2 bottoms can have sex together, why is he not having sex with his loved one, i.e. you? Talk to him, you have nothing to lose... Good luck... Visit me @ http://ibuaya.blogspot.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuih2020 Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 Franklly speaking, he is getting his rocks off with every one but you - take a break, youdo not need him and You need to JUNK him so fast that he would not even know it!I would have after the first week! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest_guest Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 hahha me worst..having sex with me every night but still trying to hook up with others like getting sugar boys... ons as and when he can get... then like that how?? am tired and sick of it.. even i was lying on the bed waiting for him to have some nice time in bed he will be so busy checking out guys on the web like fridae or sgboy... checking out their profile or sending them mail like trying to get them to have sex.. then Me HOW?i cant be waiting with eyes wide open on the bed right ..so whenever i fall asleep already..and when he is happy and done with his surfing of those cute boys then he will get into bed then starts to rub me all over etc.. if i am not around, he wil try to hook up guys .. SIGH... how like that? p/s: we dont stay together..i just go over as and when i can...and we have been many years together and he ever cheated behind my back and even had underground lovers before.... but i still move on with him.. even sometimes close one eyes tho we fought many times about such issue... what can i do? i really dunno i am tired just sick of being gay sometimes... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaiboyz Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 When two strangers meet, they must have the right chemistry ( regardless of look) and attraction in some forms inorder to move a step further and eventually end up as a couple. Sexual compatibility is an important factor to consider but normally this issue would not discuss during initial meeting unless both of you are into fun, or one is afraid to bring up this sexual issue so as not to give himself a bad impression to his partner instead. When they agreed to be couple, open and honest feelings towards each other is a must. Hence communication form an important part of any relationship. Love between two parties hence would be expressed physically interm of love making and being affectionate is a must between the two parties. I came across a case similar to yours. One party has high sex urge while the other does not seem to enjoy sex at all. However, that guy with low sex drive does not seek sex outside his relationship and remained faithful. Both of them are in their late 20's. Its rather strange to realise guys at this age group do not like sex, whatever it is, the high sex drive guy initially has to jo and waited for his partner to get his heat on, but after few months, he has lost his patience and "ventured" to look outside for fun. He got his satisfaction and came back to his partner after all activities. I believe his partner know all his thingy but remained silent. Both parties are not happy at all, and they know its not healthy for a relationship in a long run. However, thats life, they still love each other but no sex between them. I find it unbelieveable but perhaps its quite similar to a open relationship case.Ultimately, you need to be honestly ask yourself whether are you comfortable with him fooling around ? What is the reason he does not want sex with you ? Is he into open relationship, if so, where do you stand ? Two guys together without sex is nothing more than friend, can both of you accept each other as friend instead ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chub77 Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 hi jazz, one question u can ask ur the other half and that is "Why do u want to have relationship with me?".. and see whats his response. it may give u a clearer picture of whats going on in his mind. as what others have suggested, it is time to sit down and talk. be prepared for whatever answers he gives you and then decide from there whether u want to continue with the relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
man-go Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 hi all been wanting to participating in this forum, just waiting for the right topic to kick off the writing itch.a good friend once shared with me that when we "enter" into a relationship, there must be some degree of connections between our partner and us on three levels: physical (sexual), emotional and intellectual.but not all relationships necessary involve sex, and not all sex necessarily end up in relationships. sex and love are two very different things.however it is important for you to know why are you in a relationship in the first place.for most of us, when we "fall" in love, the three connections are very strong (usually the sex is great, you can relate to the person and you find him very interesting). in every relationship, both parties have the right to set the boundaries, have an agreement as to what they expect/want/desire from each other. only when there is such an agreement, there can be a solid and more lasting relationship. but the agreement can change over time as we grow older and redefine the boudaries.however, over time, partners grow apart - either you find the partner less interesting as person, or boring or simply not interested in him physically or sexually.when that happens, we are "falling out of love". but not all of us end the relationship. we all have different reasons for hanging on. some of us grow accept the "failings" of our partners and overlook such "failings" for the wonderful other attributes that our partners have.then again, if you do not connect at any level at all, then ask yourself why are you still hanging on to this relationship?so, back to the first question - is it strange to have a relationship with a person, yet not have sex with him? i think the only person who can answer that question is yourself, jazz.what do you want from this relationship? only his compansionship? does that include being intimate with him? can you accept the fact that he is sleeping with everyone else but you? what may be norm for the others may not be norm for yourself. only you can decide if you want to accept this relationship based on the terms decided between the two of you.sometimes, loving someone is maybe to be able to endure all his mischief - but when one day you find you can no longer tolerate that, then it will be the day to move on.one other note though, whilst you can accept his "unfaithfulness", you must not and cannot accept his disregard for safe sex. just some thoughts.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chubkido Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 So understand what u mean. striaght r married legally n times come, children n responsiblity. If they cheat, ie endin the whole family. But for aj, cheat is jus like havin ice kajang after chendol. Nobody say u cant have 2 dessert at a time . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cool Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 This is so weird. There must be a reason;1) Both of you are tops or bttms? Sexually not compatible? 2) He is with you coz of some other reasons? Coz you paid for most of the expenses? He needs to stay at your place? You are very very nice to him? Sorry if it sounds offending but sometimes such shit happens. Not many people will admit that they are being made use of. I really can't find any reason why he can have sex with others and not with you. Dun tell me those stupid reasons that he is with you not coz of sex but coz of the communication and the company etc. But whats wrong with including sex? And how come he can do that to others?You should ask him directly. Dun waste time. If he continues to have sex with other except you, I think you should do the same too. You can still love him just as much as he claimed to love even having sex with others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cool Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 hahha me worst..having sex with me every night but still trying to hook up with others like getting sugar boys... ons as and when he can get... then like that how?? am tired and sick of it.. even i was lying on the bed waiting for him to have some nice time in bed he will be so busy checking out guys on the web like fridae or sgboy... checking out their profile or sending them mail like trying to get them to have sex.. then Me HOW?i cant be waiting with eyes wide open on the bed right ..so whenever i fall asleep already..and when he is happy and done with his surfing of those cute boys then he will get into bed then starts to rub me all over etc.. if i am not around, he wil try to hook up guys .. SIGH... how like that? p/s: we dont stay together..i just go over as and when i can...and we have been many years together and he ever cheated behind my back and even had underground lovers before.... but i still move on with him.. even sometimes close one eyes tho we fought many times about such issue... what can i do? i really dunno i am tired just sick of being gay sometimes... Sorry to hear your case but i seriously think that if you are feeling sad and unhappy, I think you should just leave him.I dun think its any loss to you.Why are you holding on to something that doesn't exist in the first place? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaiboyz Posted January 18, 2006 Report Share Posted January 18, 2006 Like what others have advised, i suggest you guys sit down and talk about it.Tell him that you love him and want to have sexual actvities involved. If he does not want, ask for his reasons. If he is still reluctant, well, let him know you can do with others as well, and make sure he wont make a drama out of it. I think both of you would end up into an open relationship, and more to a good friendship. Goodluck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 18, 2006 Report Share Posted January 18, 2006 hi im in a relationship for a year but there are no sex between us and is it normal ?i want to have sex but was rejected and i had given up on this.....though we had great times being togetherhowever i knows he fools around with other guys and im still being faithful to him and sometimes i feel so miserable i have a strong feeling that my best friend even had sex with him:( what should i do any advise hmmm. so many experts had given you the advice .... :thumb: i think, it could also be misunderstood between 2 of you, you think your relationship with him is gayish relationship and he think otherwise, he wanted maybe a 'platonic relationship' which normally no sex involved.this, i would say can be sorted out easily between 2 of you .. a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaiboyz Posted January 19, 2006 Report Share Posted January 19, 2006 Relationship is not easy to maintain w/o sex especially you want to have intimacy with him. You will get upset and feel rejected when he is infact seeking fun other than you. Be real, face the problem, and hit the target! Tell him what you want and how you feel. You can judge from his answer about his sincereity towards this relationship. If you sense he adopt a careless attitude, its time to give up. Not point dragging and you might find someone better down the road waiting for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jazz Posted January 20, 2006 Report Share Posted January 20, 2006 Relationship is not easy to maintain w/o sex especially you want to have intimacy with him. You will get upset and feel rejected when he is infact seeking fun other than you. indeed i was depressed over this all the time i rejected a few as i still have strong feeling for him and GOD i felt so miserable Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buaya Posted January 20, 2006 Report Share Posted January 20, 2006 Jazz, I totally understand...Me and my second ex's sex frequency driopped miserably to the extent of once in 2-3 months towards the end of the relationship. At first, I thought it was normal and did not give it much thought. Then I found out he would tell me he's busy and then he will be cruising and seeking fun... Quite disappointed with him and I never got over it. Although we agreed earlier it shall be an open relationship, I still cannot get over the fact that he would rather have sex with other men than me. Anyway, a couple of months later, he broke up with me. Very likely over a man he had sex with earlier. Anyway, it's over...My current relationship SEEM to be going the same way... I was EXTREMELY upset when I found out he was seeking external sextisfaction while reducing making love with me, making up excuses to avoid having sex with me. We'd talked and now, the problem seems to have been solved. I am still suspiscious, though... Sigh, as the delay tactics seem to be in place again... But, well, I should not think too much as I had told him I would like to trust him... Visit me @ http://ibuaya.blogspot.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toshi_elton Posted January 20, 2006 Report Share Posted January 20, 2006 darlin, i would say you will get a better man rather than this heartless bastard... Although all men are bastards and jerks, not all are like that... I would say, really give it up... my bio dad did that to my mom, and i hated him to the core... opps... off topic... Can anybody find me, somebody to love? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buaya Posted January 21, 2006 Report Share Posted January 21, 2006 Toshi, I assume you are talking to Jazz, right?... Visit me @ http://ibuaya.blogspot.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest No Sex Not Relationship Posted January 21, 2006 Report Share Posted January 21, 2006 Since there is no sex, then cannot consider as in a relationship. Just very close friends. He is allow to fxxk around, I think you should do the same. Time is catching up, what are you waiting for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toshi_elton Posted January 24, 2006 Report Share Posted January 24, 2006 Toshi, I assume you are talking to Jazz, right?... yes sweetie... Can anybody find me, somebody to love? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jazz Posted January 24, 2006 Report Share Posted January 24, 2006 well there are a few men who likes me but i rejected them and my feeling is still strong for my love but im still waiting for him to hold my hand or to say the magical words to me pretty amazing but i still hoping call me a fool but thats love to me especially him i love him and GOD I DO LOVE HIMhow i wish he knows that and telling him is totally useless i might say ......................................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaiboyz Posted January 25, 2006 Report Share Posted January 25, 2006 The theme is not on track again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toshi_elton Posted January 25, 2006 Report Share Posted January 25, 2006 well there are a few men who likes me but i rejected them and my feeling is still strong for my love but im still waiting for him to hold my hand or to say the magical words to me pretty amazing but i still hoping call me a fool but thats love to me especially him i love him and GOD I DO LOVE HIMhow i wish he knows that and telling him is totally useless i might say ......................................... Thaiboy, i think its kinda on track... Jazz, feeling will change in time, i dun think you would need to worry about that.. just that if he does that kinda thing to you once, he will do it another time or more. I will call you a fool, but there is a saying that goes, love like a foolish gay once in a while. forget about pushing those tots of him aside, they will go by themselves, just concentrate on what you are doing or going i believe you will find a better one who attracts you better... Can anybody find me, somebody to love? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaiboyz Posted January 26, 2006 Report Share Posted January 26, 2006 A relationship with no sex means it is going backward to friendship. Unhealthy, end it fast. Otherwise settle into open relationship and carry on as companion with no sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cool Posted January 27, 2006 Report Share Posted January 27, 2006 A relationship with no sex means it is going backward to friendship. Unhealthy, end it fast. Otherwise settle into open relationship and carry on as companion with no sex. Agreed. A few years down the road, you will find yourself stupid for wasting your time waiting for him and losing your youth. :whistle: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaiboyz Posted January 27, 2006 Report Share Posted January 27, 2006 A relationship with no sex means it is going backward to friendship. Unhealthy, end it fast. Otherwise settle into open relationship and carry on as companion with no sex. Agreed. A few years down the road, you will find yourself stupid for wasting your time waiting for him and losing your youth. :whistle: LOVE is two-way, keep moving on....dun look back. Learn how to let go...there are plenty of fishes in the ocean. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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