Where Can I Find A Good Date? (compiled)

[Blacque]

If you can't find any decent dates, I suggest you go for the Nuts instead, there is no lack here.

 

You're good.

[smileyman]

Yeah Eric cannot give solutions for nuts!

[Blacque]

Sorry I'm not a saint to provide a solution on this, and I don't think it's an important issue either.

[+C u r i o u s+]

As a corollary to the thread on "where did you find your boyfriend", may I ask where can I find good and decent dates? Nothing personal, just feel free to share and exchange pointers...

It depends on the individual I prefer being comfortable with the person online first . Then maybe we can talk about real life meeting later. (Or maybe I'm just slow to opening up to others)

[puppyfart]

wat a juvenile thread.  even if there was a place, solution, methodology to finding good men to date, it may not work for u.

someone's gotta say it, "it's not him, its you."

[azimuth]

Lol. I guess we gotta look into the mirror and ask ourselves first, "Are we datable?"

[Musical]

Wah azimuth that sounds like "a needle pieced through saw blood" lol. Maybe I am "datable"

[Blacque]

Lol. I guess we gotta look into the mirror and ask ourselves first, "Are we datable?"

 

Some people prefer to not acknowledge the reality, that's when shit happens.

[azimuth]

Unfortunately, the truth always hurts. But here comes the spilt. The ones who always get their perfect dates are those who acknowledge their imperfections, recognize their areas of weakness and work on improving these finer points to make themselves more datable.

 

The ones who always end up with consistent broken relationships are usually those who blame others for their imperfections. It's no hard science actually. The people who blame their teacher for poor grades, blame the society for being unfair, are usually the ones who are stuck.

[Guest Guest]

Guys, I think everyone is dateable, it just depends on the makeup of the other person. (Now, before naughty Blacque tells me to go look for makeup in Takashimaya, let me qualify that I am talking about makeup as in social, emotional and cultural). For example, Person A might get along with Person B but might get along flammingly well with Person C cos Person A and Person C have things in common or are on the same wavelength. So yes, I think everyone is dateable - he or she just needs to date his or her "right" person. Having said that, easier said than done. It if was easy, everyone of us would have found our perfect match, there would be no dating agencies and half the people in this forum would not be here . 

 

Azimuth, actually from my limited experience, broken relationships nowadays are mainly to do with one party not being faithful.

[azimuth]

Guys, I think everyone is dateable, it just depends on the makeup of the other person. (Now, before naughty Blacque tells me to go look for makeup in Takashimaya, let me qualify that I am talking about makeup as in social, emotional and cultural). For example, Person A might get along with Person B but might get along flammingly well with Person C cos Person A and Person C have things in common or are on the same wavelength. So yes, I think everyone is dateable - he or she just needs to date his or her "right" person. Having said that, easier said than done. It if was easy, everyone of us would have found our perfect match, there would be no dating agencies and half the people in this forum would not be here . 

 

Azimuth, actually from my limited experience, broken relationships nowadays are mainly to do with one party not being faithful.

 

 

You are correct. This is one of the factors. However, since the topic suggests that it is a date, it is still too early to determine if any party will be unfaithful. :-)

[Blacque]

Guys, I think everyone is dateable, it just depends on the makeup of the other person. (Now, before naughty Blacque tells me to go look for makeup in Takashimaya, let me qualify that I am talking about makeup as in social, emotional and cultural). For example, Person A might get along with Person B but might get along flammingly well with Person C cos Person A and Person C have things in common or are on the same wavelength. So yes, I think everyone is dateable - he or she just needs to date his or her "right" person. Having said that, easier said than done. It if was easy, everyone of us would have found our perfect match, there would be no dating agencies and half the people in this forum would not be here . 

 

Azimuth, actually from my limited experience, broken relationships nowadays are mainly to do with one party not being faithful.

Honestly, I know nuts about makeup. And I'm not naughty, Santa's still giving me presents this year

[Steve5380]

Azimuth, actually from my limited experience, broken relationships nowadays are mainly to do with one party not being faithful.

 

This is my experience too.

 

But I don't believe that the solution is to force people into 'faithfulness', but to take this silly requirement out of relationships.

I have been around long enough to realize how senseless it is to expect sexual exclusiveness from someone else.

If I love another person, I should welcome that what makes him happy, unless that something hurts me.

But then it is me who needs to work on the hurt. Why should it hurt me if my bf has sex with someone else?

I don't think it is the fear that the other person will contaminate the oh so pure body of my bf.

The usual fear is that my bf ENJOYS and LIKES the sex with the other person,

and the fear is that he will leave me to be with the other person.

 

If this happens, it is sign that he is not so attracted to me,  and it is better for me that he leaves.

If he does not leave me after having sex with others,  this is a good indication that he indeed loves me.

And since he does it with others but he loves me,  he should have no problem with me having sex with others

and he should be pleased that I enjoy myself doing it.

 

It is my experience that the relationships that are the best and last the longest, are open relationships.

This is what I have now.  He enjoys his freedom, I enjoy mine.  And we enjoy each other.

[Guest Guest]

Works for some but might not work for others, Steve.

 

The counter argument would be that if someone loved you heaps, you are enough, he should not need to look for anyone else.

 

But there is no right or wrong in this, every relation has different dynamics so I think to each his own.

[Guest Guest]

Honestly, I know nuts about makeup. And I'm not naughty, Santa's still giving me presents this year

You dont know about makeup cos you dont need to mah, you cure enough oredi, dont need makeup. 

[smileyman]

How to make yourself dateable?

- find a date stamp;

- ink pad; and

- begin to chope all over yourself.

It's always good to have a certain level of self-awareness. It helps to manage expectations and

allows oneself to identity any shortcomings for future improvement. However one man's meat can be another's poison. We won't really know how else we can be in our most dateable position. What's so incredible about true love is that it transcends between weaknesses. Both parties will be in a complementary relationship. Both nurtures and nourishes one another. This kind of relationship is everlasting and it is filled with hope.

Conversely, if we always think of what we can obtain or offer to our partners just to keep him, this relationship is toxic. It drains both parties,

[Guest Bj]

Wah! Love those dates! Put them erotically into your mouth, enjoy their oddly crinkly smoothness, savour the juiciness when you gently bite down, suck out all the flavour . . .

Check carefully before you put it in yr mouth, sometime have little bags or worms inside.

I like to use them to bake sticky date pudding...yummy.

[Guest Bj]

Wah! Love those dates! Put them erotically into your mouth, enjoy their oddly crinkly smoothness, savour the juiciness when you gently bite down, suck out all the flavour . . .

Check carefully before you put it in yr mouth, sometime have little bugs or worms inside.

I like to use them to bake sticky date pudding...yummy.

[Guest Guest]

If you can't find any decent dates, I suggest you go for the Nuts instead, there is no lack here.

There are actually have more options

1) the Chinese Jujube red dates just mentioned are from Asia

2) "Indian dates" ( what local refer to call in Hockian ) from Middle East

3) Dried prunes from Americas

4) Apricot from Europe

5) Olive from Mediterranean

6) Miracle fruits from African

7) Macadamia nuts from Australia

So is time to dates internationally

[Guest Raiden Alpha]

I don't think it is a place that attract good people to congregate.

I think it is one self own good vibes that attract the good people into one life wherever he happen to be visiting.

Maybe working on the self inner cultivation and watching out what type of frequency one is emanating out is more important than focusing on what type of places to go to in order to find a compatiable companion.

[smileyman]

yup working hard on self improvement is a constant not just to make one more dateable. However, certain values need to remain intact tho.

[mate69]

yup working hard on self improvement is a constant not just to make one more dateable. However, certain values need to remain intact tho.

I cannot stress enough the importance of having both parties' values aligned. If the values are divergent in direction, chances are the relationship will fail. I speak from experience (sadly)

[smileyman]

I cannot stress enough the importance of having both parties' values aligned. If the values are divergent in direction, chances are the relationship will fail. I speak from experience (sadly)

Oh dear. care to share your experiences? What sort of values are you referring to? There shouldn't be any exact match so both parties need to constantly realign their values to ensure the fit.

[Butterscotch]

If you ever find any good dates, do share your experiences with us? Or better yet, pass some along this way. I don't mind some good dates too hahaha.

[mate69]

Oh dear. care to share your experiences? What sort of values are you referring to? There shouldn't be any exact match so both parties need to constantly realign their values to ensure the fit.

 

Without going into specifics, it was a matter of where we are now (in terms of aspirations, ideals and goals) and where we see ourselves, say a couple of 

years down the road.

 

Without some sort of common goal that both sides agree to work towards, it became an issue of whether we can see ourselves apart. 

As you might know, I have made firm plans to settle down outside Singapore and he was the sort

that couldn't see that as a future for us, no matter how hard I tried to convince/assure him.

 

With that unresolved, it became a source of tension over time, and along with it, old issues were dug out and it all became

very acrimonious.

[Steve5380]

yup working hard on self improvement is a constant not just to make one more dateable. However, certain values need to remain intact tho.

 

Care to share which values involved in self improvement need to remain intact?

[smileyman]

Care to share which values involved in self improvement need to remain intact?

Strictly speaking, most of the things I say will have already been considered by you all somehow. Due to differences in generation, maybe what I feel is correct is not for the older generation like you all.

Faithfulness - cannot elaborate any much more about this. Infidelity is a nono.

Trust - placing utmost trust in your partner, standing by through thick and thin.

Empathetic - placing yourselves in one another shoes in times of disagreements.

Self-reliance - not overly dependent or clingy on your partner and giving one another enough breathing space.

Caring - showering care and concern and saying honest and truthful things to one another.

Anything else? This is all in theory as I haven't been in a rs. Tts why I am asking for practical advice.

[smileyman]

If you ever find any good dates, do share your experiences with us? Or better yet, pass some along this way. I don't mind some good dates too hahaha.

Blacque can bring you on a dates tasting experience around bugis. Lol

[Guest wozzit]

Check carefully before you put it in yr mouth, sometime have little bags or worms inside.

I like to use them to bake sticky date pudding...yummy.

 

Haha! My rather infantile description of slipping a date into my mouth was meant to b a metaphor for slipping a penis into my mouth! 

[IkuTube]

yup working hard on self improvement is a constant not just to make one more dateable. However, certain values need to remain intact tho.

 

 

Strictly speaking, most of the things I say will have already been considered by you all somehow. Due to differences in generation, maybe what I feel is correct is not for the older generation like you all.

Faithfulness - cannot elaborate any much more about this. Infidelity is a nono.

Trust - placing utmost trust in your partner, standing by through thick and thin.

Empathetic - placing yourselves in one another shoes in times of disagreements.

Self-reliance - not overly dependent or clingy on your partner and giving one another enough breathing space.

Caring - showering care and concern and saying honest and truthful things to one another.

Anything else? This is all in theory as I haven't been in a rs. Tts why I am asking for practical advice.

 

smileyman, I am quoting you not to disagree but it is a respect for initiating this thread.   Having said that, I agree that one needs to empower positive change whenever and wherever possible in order to further understand the desires of growth.  In order to strike an equilibrium to needs and wants.

 

Values, on the other hand, have to grow along with the sub-conscious mind (it's here that these values are triggered to form any reactions) and to be executed with a clearer sense of what is most important to one's life.  Values should not be fixated but flexible.  They should not hinder but harmonise with the mechanism of what's inside and outside us.

 

Alright, now to flow with this thread, perhaps it is time that we move from "Where" to "How Can I Find A Good Date?".  We have already known, at least from some replies here, dates can be anywhere.  We have also been told about "dateable".  The next big question, something that we should have asked, is whether we deserve love in the first place?

 

This is an intrusive question.  This is very much where we place the effect to the cause.  This is where, with a burning desire to understand and accept, the consciousness of loving and being love attracts in itself.  Richness to life often starts when we take away Fear and instill Love in the equation.

[Guest Bj]

Haha! My rather infantile description of slipping a date into my mouth was meant to b a metaphor for slipping a penis into my mouth!

Same rules apply lah! You may have to check whether it have any extra spoiled "cheese", "red beens" or have any parasites like crabs and scabies on it before u put in yr mouth! Lol

[Steve5380]

Strictly speaking, most of the things I say will have already been considered by you all somehow. Due to differences in generation, maybe what I feel is correct is not for the older generation like you all.

Faithfulness - cannot elaborate any much more about this. Infidelity is a nono.

Trust - placing utmost trust in your partner, standing by through thick and thin.

Empathetic - placing yourselves in one another shoes in times of disagreements.

Self-reliance - not overly dependent or clingy on your partner and giving one another enough breathing space.

Caring - showering care and concern and saying honest and truthful things to one another.

Anything else? This is all in theory as I haven't been in a rs. Tts why I am asking for practical advice.

 

Yes, this list of values is a little outdated for the older generation over 18 years old.  But it is a fine fantasy for pubescent teenagers. But it still can apply for religious people, who are used to live in alternate universes like the Christian supernatural full of sins and divine love.  And for these, the values can last a lifetime if they always remain childish and never grow into adults. Unless the reality on this earth kicks in, and they discover the hard way that 'faithfulness' and its opposite 'fidelity' is an invitation to harmful poison that can ruin the best relationships. This can happen when in the fantasy trip of holiness we forget about our nature.

[MotherCat]

Wonder aloud if Steve still goes to weekly mass...

 

But dates huh?

 

Back in the day, Adolf Hitler was considered very dateable. I mean, he had a regular gf and everything.

 

Ask yourself, if Hitler could find a date, why can't you?

[Guest Ginga]

Hello everyone,

 

Hope all is well. I’ve known about BW for awhile and it looks like everyone here is very wise and experienced when it comes to relationship. So I have a question to ask: How can I find a date here?

 

I was born in Singapore but moved aboard since I was small. I came back to SG few years back but still having struggles making friends or even finding a decent date here.

 

I tried all kinds of dating apps but they’re not really working for me. Fact is I had a lot of guys swiping right on my profile but not a lot of them wanted to reciprocate the conversations, and among the ones that talked, man though I tried all those conversations were just very dull :(

 

I even tried going to the bars but I didn’t really like the atmosphere there so it’s a hard case. 
 

Though I think I don’t look too bad myself, all my friends said I have a very intimidating look and that kinda scared people away. Or a stranger would always think that I’m attached. Plus I’m not really open about my sexuality as well (I’m not trying to hide that I’m into both guys and girls but I don’t publicly share about that either). 
 

As my parents are still living aboard, I’m living in SG all by myself and I don’t have a lot of friends here, it would be nice if you guys can give me some tips or advices. 
 

Thank you a lot!

[Guest Fyi]

https://oogachaga.com/gay-men-dating-guide