What About Love?

[Guest Mike]

The topics discussed in this forum are interesting. I do find that there are more threads on the physical or sex part. What about love and emotions? Anyone has touching episodes to share? These can serve as motivation for others to source for true love, in addition to big dicks, hot ass or lusty mouth......... :thumb:

[Buaya]

Love is not about sex. Love includes sex but it is not about sex.

I love my boy a lot but frankly, he is not my type. I gave him a chance after we first met and I just slowly fell for him. Finding out that we are sexually compatible helps too, though. But if I were to be approached by someone like him (physically) for ONS, I seriously will not consider.

Now, I am addicted to my boy. I just cannot imagine life without him... I just love SOoooo much!...

[Guest Guest]

What is it about your partner that you love Buaya?

I have read your various descriptions about your relationship with your bf and frankly, that's not love. Your may think you love him, but you are more addicted to him as you frankly admitted. Also, the various times you solicit for sex here, indicate your total lack of respect of your partner. That is not love.

And the way your partner is getting himself fxxk by different other men also meant he is not in love with you.

You guys are staying together for some reasons but trust me, it is not love.

Also, what is it about you that you like to call your partner "my boy"? You know how derogatory that sound? Seemed like you are a pedopile wannabee, or you have some colonialist mentality calling their male servant "my boy". You may like them young, but please don't go around calling people your boy.

[man-go]

i agree with buaya that love is not sex, and sex is not love.

they are both separate and different.

how separate and different - actually that differs with every individual.

some people cannot have sex without love - meaning they cannot have sex with people they dont love - or they can only have sex with people they love.

some people cannot love - but love to have sex. so they can just have sex with just about any one who "excites" them or turns them on.

i also agree with mike, in this day and age of easy and accessible technology (and venues), love has taken a backseat - sex has become easily attainable and instant gratification is just a msn/sms/net chat away. you dont even have to leave your house to "cruise".

i am a die-hard romantic. but true love stories are hard to come by, even for myself. so i look forward to reading it here

as for guest's comments regarding buaya - to be fair to buaya, i see his calling his partner "my boy" as a term of endearment - just like "my man", "my love", "my squeeze", it all but words.

the road to love is never smooth. he has his issues with his relationship - but these are typical and in fact normal - if you read other postings as well. and this forum is a good place for him to vent them. his comments/input makes good reading too. whehter he is in love, or he loves, or he is addicted to his "boy", i think its his life and let him deal/get on with it

buaya, i enjoy your postings, keep them coming

[sblue]

Someone once asked me if I've ever loved before and I thought hard. I don't really know. Then the question of 'Why?' came about. Again, I don't know. Perhaps I wasn't lucky enough to find that special someone, perhaps I didn't feel the need for it or perhaps I was just too afraid or even selfish to love.

I know it when I'm attracted to someone physically but I've not tried to develope things beyond that. What if he rejects me? What if things don't go well a few years down the road? What if, what if, what if? I've been accused of using my head instead of my heart too much and that I agree. Perhaps that is why I don't think I've loved.

I've known people who stay together because of companionship, because they've gotten used to each other even when love is no longer there and I don't know if i want that. I've seen people who have an open relationship, who go back to each other at the end of the day after playing with others and i don't know if i want that. I think a line from Moulin Rouge goes like this: The greatest thing in life is to love and be loved in return. I would like to have that but I'm not sure if I can do that.

So here I am, not sure if I'm going to wait for Mr. Right, just looking for a Mr. Right Now. I don't know how long I'm going to indulge in this kind of lifestyle or if I can get a Mr. Right this way but that is best solution for me so far. Do I get lonely? At times but that is not enough to make me want to commit to a person just to avoid the loneliness. That would be a mistake that could hurt 2 people. I've been offered a relationship before but it didn't feel right and I had to turn it down.

As gays, there's really nothing to hold us together. No children, no recognition from the government in terms of marriage, etc. A little quarrel could result in the separation of 2 people. That is how fragile a relationship could be. For those who are in one, i would like to say you've to work harder then the straights to stay together. For those who are single, keep looking and don't be discouraged. If it happens it happens, if not, que sera sera.

[skylancer]

For me, i strongly agree with buaya and man - go.

Love is not sex, and sex is not love.

They are totally different and depends on every individual how they view.

But sex do a small part of the love.

Like for me, example, before i start this relaionship. I started to know him well like his character, his like and dislike, etc... When i think is the right time i will do anything just to woo him.. in the end, i m with him going to be 2 yrs? During this 2 yrs,there are some misunderstanding in between the both of us but the bonding is so strong that we miss each other very much as we do care, understand, concern for each other that why the bonding is strong between i and him...

Wat i want to tell is that:

Love = care+ concern+understanding+honest+sex

** rememeber love is not money**

[Buaya]

What is it about your partner that you love Buaya?

I have read your various descriptions about your relationship with your bf and frankly, that's not love. Your may think you love him, but you are more addicted to him as you frankly admitted. Also, the various times you solicit for sex here, indicate your total lack of respect of your partner. That is not love.

And the way your partner is getting himself fxxk by different other men also meant he is not in love with you.

You guys are staying together for some reasons but trust me, it is not love.

Also, what is it about you that you like to call your partner "my boy"? You know how derogatory that sound? Seemed like you are a pedopile wannabee, or you have some colonialist mentality calling their male servant "my boy". You may like them young, but please don't go around calling people your boy.

Hi Guest

I cannot point out what I love about my boyfriend. I guess this is love. Real love cannot be quatified. If I can pin point what I love about him, I guess it won't be real love.

Let me clarify something...

1) I love my boyfriend. I will miss him when I am not meeting him, will get worried about him when I cannot find him and get very happy when I see him, no matter how unhappy when I was with him previously...

2) I called him my boy, out of endearment, on the net... I also call him other names when we are communicating. I find nothing wrong with it. Anyway, he is older than me!!!

Sex is sex, think we can separate sex and love. Thus, he allows himself to be serviced

I admit it was bad of me to solicit sex but not because I don't respect my boyfriend. In fact, I never met anyone. But I have a very high sex drive and he doesn't want sex. So, I am finding ways to vent my pent up sexual frustrations...

[Guest Guest_astro]

I strongly agree with the premise that "sex is not love, and love is not sex".

The difficulty right now is finding a model story for love in Singapore. I've been racking my brain for a singaporean "Brokeback Mountain" featuring two ah bengs and found Royston Tan's 15 showcasing this story ..although not in the context of love.

What came to mind easily was a "Pretty Woman" story, although the China girl finding a Singaporean Businessman is frequently more of a business transaction than a love story. And so I continue to search my mind and experiences for a moving love story set in Singapore ( I was about to use Tammy's love and surrendering her dignity on a mobile phone movie).

So it hit me right in the solar plexus, when I remembered a story of a Male Escort falling for one of his clients.

Most male escorts are associated with an agency wherein they are frequently reminded of the perils of getting emotionally involved with a client. The story I heard of was an ex-escort who tried the "straight" lifestyle and even had a loving girlfriend, but found himself on the renting business once more to make ends meet. At that point, he met a foreign worker who hired him for a couple of hours, which turned into one of his most memorable experiences...exchanges of niceties, stories, adventures, dreams, frustrations etc together with the gentle caresses and mind-blowing orgasms.

But he cannot just get into the relationship because of his girlfriend and the fact that in his mind he is still rationalizing that it was just a trade. However, he cannot get the guy off his mind even if he avoids him whenever he calls.

The story is still going on....last I heard, he left some food at the door for this guy because at one point they were discussing food and when he went to a hawker place he came to his mind...so he bought some food but did not get the chance to talk to the guy because he was just concerned that he might be misunderstood.

But obviously he is so in love...by the way he cares and thinks about the guy

Its so sad that many of us feel feelings (not just lust) , but we are still afraid to follow it through...

What will be most painful, probably his deep love will never be known (just like Ennis love for Jack in Brokeback Mountain).

[Guest Mike]

Quite sad isn't it? We have tonnes of stories to tell about cruising locations, hot sexual encounters...etc but a good relationship, a worthwhile love companion..........let us all sit here for ages and wait.......It is true that love is difficult to come by (which is why all the good love movies can attract and touch the hearts of millions, including Lee Ann's Brokeback Mountain of course), but equally true I think is that many of us go for carnal or physical desires much more than deeper emotions.

I rememeber reading this somewhere, one perspective of gays is that we are more concerned about sex than love. I think this is true to a certain extent. Wonder if this is in our genes or because we lack all the social constraints (eg marriage).........