Single & Living Alone Discussion (compiled)

[keyboard]

Married..Can you PM me to tell me how to go about it..and where is the best place to travel to get married.Thanks in advance.

 

Queue up, take a queue number, and get married in New Zealand already!

[HydroNaut]

The only thing that attracts reward in life is when we really know what we truly and actually want.  But, one needs to know that it requires a paradigm shift to attract it.  With respect, most single people are unaware that their inability to find love has nothing to do with a dearth of potential partners but it is about how they harp with the negativities around love and from past negative experiences.  I am a believer that there's a monsoon of love around us.  The question is, are we receptive to accept it unconditionally?

 

Before we allow love to happen and before we finally find a boyfriend, does our thought process believe in finding one is possible?  Or, our minds still theorize that we are unworthy of love?  Or, we have a conviction that relationship is bound to fail?

 

Thing is, we all have theories that we want to prove and that actually hold us back from finding a partner.  Only when we let it all go (of course, with realization), that new things can happen.  It is synonymous to the Law of Vacuum where you have to empty all those past thoughts for new things to be filled in.  History will keep repeating until we look at ourselves and until we know who we are in a relationship.

 

My take, so long there is still "Hm", visiting a sauna does not sound like a good first choice.  The internalization itself will only open the door of desperation and that will leave you empty.

 

You will find one when you are truly ready, mamamia.  All you need to do is to be open.  Have a new outlook about love, about being in a relationship, about it taking place ... I bet that the world is waiting to conspire for it to happen .. all it needs is when you truly and actually want it to happen.

 

Well said, I think your rationale of love is quite true.

 

But one thing to add....the young one might not theorised on it, as they always believed they have lotsa time to see it coming, whereas the older ones like TS believe they have not much time to waste hoping that it will happen....that is where his desperation comes in now.

 

Just like in the case like when we are waiting for the bus in the early time of the day, we can always wait for the next bus to come along if we wanna get a good window seat. When it is past midnight, if you dun hop onto the last servicing bus, there might not be another bus to take you home.

[Guest guest]

HydroNaut if i miss the last bus i stay over at shogun and take the left over or take a more expensive ride by cab empty handed home not a problem

[snowball]

" But one thing to add....the young one might not theorised on it, as they always believed they have lotsa time to see it coming, whereas the older ones like TS believe they have not much time to waste hoping that it will happen....that is where his desperation comes in now. "

me disagree with that, i feel that new generation don't know afraid and rush for what, even during illegal age also want bf, look at blowing wind forum you will know how those students react with it.

[HydroNaut]

" But one thing to add....the young one might not theorised on it, as they always believed they have lotsa time to see it coming, whereas the older ones like TS believe they have not much time to waste hoping that it will happen....that is where his desperation comes in now. "

me disagree with that, i feel that new generation don't know afraid and rush for what, even during illegal age also want bf, look at blowing wind forum you will know how those students react with it.

 

These are the young ones that get to the bus-stop much earlier..... and get onto every buses they can flag type lor.... cause thy think they have lotsa time to get down and flag another one mah.

 

But TS different cause....we must help him get up the super night-rider back home safely....since he had waited so long and now so late liao....might not have any bus service liao.

[member_757]

i thought i would never meet someone i like but i did. Don't give up hope people. Love is just magical. No words can describe it.

[TheVisitors]

The only thing that attracts reward in life is when we really know what we truly and actually want.  But, one needs to know that it requires a paradigm shift to attract it.  With respect, most single people are unaware that their inability to find love has nothing to do with a dearth of potential partners but it is about how they harp with the negativities around love and from past negative experiences.  I am a believer that there's a monsoon of love around us.  The question is, are we receptive to accept it unconditionally?

 

Before we allow love to happen and before we finally find a boyfriend, does our thought process believe in finding one is possible?  Or, our minds still theorize that we are unworthy of love?  Or, we have a conviction that relationship is bound to fail?

 

Thing is, we all have theories that we want to prove and that actually hold us back from finding a partner.  Only when we let it all go (of course, with realization), that new things can happen.  It is synonymous to the Law of Vacuum where you have to empty all those past thoughts for new things to be filled in.  History will keep repeating until we look at ourselves and until we know who we are in a relationship.

 

My take, so long there is still "Hm", visiting a sauna does not sound like a good first choice.  The internalization itself will only open the door of desperation and that will leave you empty.

 

You will find one when you are truly ready, mamamia.  All you need to do is to be open.  Have a new outlook about love, about being in a relationship, about it taking place ... I bet that the world is waiting to conspire for it to happen .. all it needs is when you truly and actually want it to happen.

This is very similar to the series of lectures given by Esther Hicks.

 

Abraham  is her spiritual guide she channels her knowledge from

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLZuYUDHy9M

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clGB5vndmms

 

I tried it a few months ago and it worked

 

Now I am seeing someone , and two more are expressing their interest to start a relationship with me.

 

Its about you yourself, your thoughts and your feelings

 

 

In short,  " You only experience your reality from what you feel truly inside of yourself"

 

Best of Luck....

[Guest guest]

i miss many buses when i am young, always play hard to get, now 68 many buses dun stop for me.any way can i turn back the clock .

[G_M]

I need boyfriend

Please advertise it in the Personal folder.

[Sporty81]

Nothing's wrong with u, let nature take its course. Don't think too much. Be simple. Life's short, and there more things to explore than being engaged in a relationship, live it to the fullest. Sometime, being single may not be a bad thing after all. = )

[snowball]

not all couples are happily attached and not all single men are lonely & sad,

so don't need to envy others, life is never perfect .

[undies87]

ask yourself this question, are you happy with what you have. being attached doesn't guarantee a blissful life. try to find for happiness within yourself. and last let nature take its course, if you're meant to meet someone you will, trying hard only brings forth disappointments and misery... 

[HydroNaut]

I totally agreed with the 3 posters above me.

 

Single-hood is never regarded as failure or boredom. It is up to you to rule out your life, to me I have more freedom to plan out what i wanna do with my life as a single. You dun have much baggage and you might be less emotionally distracted.

 

After being attached for so many times inn the previous. I also came to know one thing, 花无百日红, you dun really need to be envious of others....cause you will never know what comes to them in another day to come. Gay relationships are fragile, not saying heterosexual are not but they are bound together by too many mundane commitments like the marriage certificates, kids etc....that is why even if they are no longer in love, they have to put on a fake upfront to get it through.

[azimuth]

Life is like standing in a river of water. Let the water flow through you and be amazed at what flows in the water. If it so happens you spot a good fish swimming pass you in the water, go on and catch it. :-)

[HydroNaut]

Life is like standing in a river of water. Let the water flow through you and be amazed at what flows in the water. If it so happens you spot a good fish swimming pass you in the water, go on and catch it. :-)

 

Not all fishes are worth catch it....beware if it is a piranha.

[azimuth]

Not all fishes are worth catch it....beware if it is a piranha.

Precisely. Which is why we cruise first before letting the rod into the water to let the correct fish bite. Lol

[thorzguy]

Lol @ azimuth & HydroNaut.

 

I believe in affinity. Of course, if the right person comes along, one must reciprocate as well. A relationship takes 2 to commit.

Edited August 22, 2013 by thorzguy

[IkuTube]

Something to share.

 

This is taken from Paulo Coehlo's blog (source: http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2013/02/25/beauty-exists-not-in-sameness/):

 

"Pity those who think: ‘I am not beautiful. That’s why Love has not knocked at my door.’
In fact, Love did knock, but when they opened the door, they weren’t prepared to welcome Love in.

 

They were too busy trying to make themselves beautiful first, when, in fact, they were fine as they were.
They were trying to imitate others, when Love was looking for something original.

 

They were trying to reflect what came from outside, forgetting that the brightest light comes from within."

 

 

[iamziz]

 

Love when you're ready, not when you're alone. 

Loving when you are ready to love instead of just looking for love because you are lonely is a very important lesson of life that we should all take heed to. Love is simply a part of life that should not be forced. Sure it is alright to try to find someone that we are compatible to, but when we try to force love out of a situation it will never work. You simply can not force chemistry, and being able to tell someone that you love them doesn't always mean that you truly love them. 

 

Some of us fall in love with the idea of being in love, and in turn rush to find someone to love, without actually loving them. In order to avoid this, let love come to you, and take things slow when meeting someone new. Love will happen when it is capable of happening, whether it be in a short amount of time, or long amount of time, love runs on its own time.

 

Source: http://www.searchquotes.com/viewimage/Love_When_You're_Ready,_Not_When_You're_Alone/191/

[Guest Raiden Alpha]

Maybe you are too reserve and wait too much.

Why not try to be a bit more pro active and upfront with the ones you like in your everyday life?

[analogous]

Lol you just said it yourself, what's wrong is you are just too shy la  :oops:

 

So choose! Conquer your shyness or be single

[Guest Raiden Alpha]

hi raiden, i am so shy , if i approach the person i like , my heart attack will come out

Overcome it loh.

I too am a very reserved character too but in order to get a good salary in such a treacherous time in my own country I have to overcome my limitations/inhibitions and throw myself into the event business.

When push come to shove you will have to adapt instead of waiting all the time.

Wish you luck lah.

[snowball]

i am timid too , i don't approach guys , however , if they come to me ,

if i am comfortable with them , i will show them i am keen to know

each other more , so don't use shy as an excuse if the guy already take the first move ,

act virgin no longer high class , you only let a chance slip through your fingers .

[GachiMuchi]

i am not bad looking, and manage to lost 20 kg now i am bery slim, but i am still single .. am i weird, anybody has the  same experience .

 

can you share, whats wrong with me

 

Tampiness, I did a check on your other posting in BW to get a better understand of who you are.

 

I feel that you are single on your own choice. 

 

Most of the post I see is for people to suck you dry or for blowjob. Not much post on finding a partner.

 

i would like to suck handsome guy till he cum and cum , any handsome guy keen to try , trust me my skill is damn too, please note i only suck for chn guy, no offence

you can add me to msn

tampines25@yahoo.com.sg

or message me via the blowing winf mail box

179 27 67 chn slim avg looks btm

 

Did you even make an effort to post about looking for a partner instead of looking for sex?

 

I think you are going to be single for much longer if you don't do something about it.

Edited March 30, 2014 by G_M

[Guest Guest]

Hi guys,

 

I'm 27 gay guy and havent been in a relationship before.

 

I really want to be in a lifelong relationship with a guy.

 

But I'm still closeted because my parents will disown me if i come out.

 

I also am socially awkward person with only 1 friend. (And I only whatsapp him, he doesn't want to meet me up)

 

I'm really not sure how I can go and find guys to date.

 

I also have this fear that my relatives or family friends might find out and expose me to my parents.

 

Thinking about this seems very painful and makes me cry that I can't live my desired life.

 

Any advice guys?

[mate69]

Hi guys,

 

I'm 27 gay guy and havent been in a relationship before.

 

I really want to be in a lifelong relationship with a guy.

 

But I'm still closeted because my parents will disown me if i come out.

 

I also am socially awkward person with only 1 friend. (And I only whatsapp him, he doesn't want to meet me up)

 

I'm really not sure how I can go and find guys to date.

 

I also have this fear that my relatives or family friends might find out and expose me to my parents.

 

Thinking about this seems very painful and makes me cry that I can't live my desired life.

 

Any advice guys?

 

Junk those negative thoughts first. 

 

Secondly, you have to put yourself out there if you want to date and hopefully have a relationship.

[Guest LONEly NIGht]

In order to love somebody, u need to love yrself first. How? To improve the quality of life, which u seem to be lacking.

[Guest Croaking Spider]

Hi guys,

 

 

 

I really want to be in a lifelong relationship with a guy.

 

But I'm still closeted because my parents will disown me if i come out.

 

 

 

I'm really not sure how I can go and find guys to date.

 

I also have this fear that my relatives or family friends might find out and expose me to my parents.

 

Thinking about this seems very painful and makes me cry that I can't live my desired life.

 

Any advice guys?

What is your priority at the age of 27 now? Respect your parents to stay closetted or respect your life to find a bf?

 

Think carefully and make your decision again, when you are 35. You will have a better answer by then.

[Guest snowball]

Even you are gay you don't need to be loud, you do not need to go clubbing, sauna , keep meeting people for sex etc,

you can stay low profile, you still able to find a bf, however, what if your parents give you pressure, will you getting married?

This is the q u must be consider, are you the only child or son.

[Guest Guest]

Oogachaga has plenty of useful resources online. It's just a shame I don't see many use it. There should be a stickied post for Oogachaga stuff somewheren in this forum.

http://issuu.com/Oogachaga/docs/gaydating24feblr?mode=embed&layout=http://skin.issuu.com/v/light/layout.xml&showFlipBtn=true

This is honestly pretty good. Kudos to them for making this.

[EasleyLim]

I think you should work on yourself first before trying to find a boyfriend. I don't believe you only have one friend, but if that's true than you probably have a lot issues that you need to deal with first. So, imo, a boyfriend is the last thing you need right now.

Edited October 1, 2014 by EasleyLim

[Guest guest]

You are asking this stupid question like you were 7 yrs old.  For God's sakes, you are bloody 27!!!!!!!  Use your brains!

[James_SG88]

You are asking this stupid question like you were 7 yrs old.  For God's sakes, you are bloody 27!!!!!!!  Use your brains!

don't be so fierce lah, chill... not everyone is expert in r/s matters

[concealed_me]

Well, you can always make an effort to find friends online first. I mean... Just look for the interesting profiles or those that describes the user well. PM the dude, hope for a reply? Haha.

Socially awkward to what extent? If you have a friend, that should mean that you must've entertained/intrigued him enough to wanna stay as your friend right? Some of the most extroverted/outgoing people claims that they're socially awkward when they may just be pretty darn sane... So yeah.

It's alright to have such fears or negativity, it sometimes helps to keep us in check. I'm closeted as well, my parents will definitely disown me if they find out I'm AJ. But you can always find chat buddies or people to meet up with if you're willing to seek out people for friends.

To start a forum topic must've taken quite a deal of courage for someone who doesn't have much AJ friends! So kudos to you!

Just be more willing to start chats with people whom you deem to be good and are willing to be friends with. Things should turn out fine afterwards. But meet up only when you're comfortable and make sure whoever you will meet isn't ASS!

It's alright to voice out your insecurities at this age... But if you're 30 plus and still whining like some teenage girl from a teen drama. Erm... Better man up, or find someone around that age to bitch to.

[Guest Neh Neh]

To those shy single unattached gays, if you need my advice, remember these words:

树不要皮必死无疑, 人不要面天下无敌. If you like someone, just remember these words and go say hi to him and invite him to lim teh.

[TheVisitors]

Hi guys,

 

I'm 27 gay guy and havent been in a relationship before.

 

I really want to be in a lifelong relationship with a guy.

 

But I'm still closeted because my parents will disown me if i come out.

 

I also am socially awkward person with only 1 friend. (And I only whatsapp him, he doesn't want to meet me up)

 

I'm really not sure how I can go and find guys to date.

 

I also have this fear that my relatives or family friends might find out and expose me to my parents.

 

Thinking about this seems very painful and makes me cry that I can't live my desired life.

 

Any advice guys?

If you were to re read  what you wrote and list about yourself, there isn't any pros to be with you

None, but full of hang ups, insecurities, and probably more toxic than nuclear waste dumped in the Japanese sea

 

You are those psychic vampires that drains the life force of every living creatures on planet earth : the Amazon rainforest who turn into the Sahara instantly

 

Any sane person will definitely give you a pass.

[snowball]

没有爱情的生活枯燥乏味，很寂寞孤独?

中学时代开始，这个问题从没困扰着我，

羡慕嫉妒别人我不会，也不觉得有情人就与众不同，

没刻意去寻找，也没打算真正想要谈个轰轰烈烈的恋爱，

每次都是别人主动，而我也只是当他们是普通朋友对待，

或许有感觉较强烈的，但我并不会草率的和他们交往，

而是忽冷忽热，不断考验他们的耐力和脾气，

因为我只会和脾气好温顺的人交往，其他的一概删除。

直到长达一年后才会被视为男朋友，

所以我一切随缘随意随性，因为我的感情道路一向如此，

更相信缘分莫强求。

Edited October 1, 2014 by snowball

[Guest Guest]

没有爱情的生活枯燥乏味，很寂寞孤独?

中学时代开始，这个问题从没困扰着我，

羡慕嫉妒别人我不会，也不觉得有情人就与众不同，

没刻意去寻找，也没打算真正想要谈个轰轰烈烈的恋爱，

每次都是别人主动，而我也只是当他们是普通朋友对待，

或许有感觉较强烈的，但我并不会草率的和他们交往，

而是忽冷忽热，不断考验他们的耐力和脾气，

因为我只会和脾气好温顺的人交往，其他的一概删除。

直到长达一年后才会被视为男朋友，

所以我一切随缘随意随性，因为我的感情道路一向如此，

更相信缘分莫强求。

Sorry but I don't know Mandarin... Is it alright if you can translate it for me? Thank you.

[Guest Guest]

If you were to re read  what you wrote and list about yourself, there isn't any pros to be with you

None, but full of hang ups, insecurities, and probably more toxic than nuclear waste dumped in the Japanese sea

 

You are those psychic vampires that drains the life force of every living creatures on planet earth : the Amazon rainforest who turn into the Sahara instantly

 

Any sane person will definitely give you a pass.

I'm not a vampire or a demon. I'm just another human being on this Earth. And dont you say I throw my sadness to others. Learn to be senstitive to others thanks.

[Guest Guest]

You are asking this stupid question like you were 7 yrs old.  For God's sakes, you are bloody 27!!!!!!!  Use your brains!

Seriously learn to be polite to others.

[TheVisitors]

I'm not a vampire or a demon. I'm just another human being on this Earth. And dont you say I throw my sadness to others. Learn to be senstitive to others thanks.

In the first place do you know what is a psychic vampire?

 

Please go Google yeah, and learn something new about yourself.

 

I didn't say you throw your sadness to others.

 

You did  your own whining here by your own means , voluntarily

[Guest wozzit]

I've a great love for freedom and independence. Most of the time I enjoy being carefree and doing what I want... all these time, whenever I know I almost have it with somebody, my mind panics.

 

I believe you have answered your own question. I was exactly the same for much of my 20s - even also my 30s. I had always been very independent as a child and I carried that on into adulthood. I was also quite goal-oriented. I knew what kind of job I really wanted. It would involve a lot of evening work when I could not be with a partner. So it was not difficult to decide that career and independence came before relationships.

 

That eventually changed - but then most of us change as the years pass. The important thing is to have some good friends with whom you can spend your spare time. That way you have a support system in place whilst you continue to enjoy your freedom and independence. Don't try and fight it. Enjoy it! There's nothing wrong with you! 

[Guest Single]

This thread is not for those staying with parents, siblings,  transient tenant (staying with landlord), singles staying together. friends, the attached, the marriage.  

 

It is purely for single owner staying alone.

 

How do you spend your time if you are not going anywhere and do you feel lonely sleeping alone everynight and how do you cope?

 

My friend delberately work late and became workaholic just to return home late.

My neighbour decided to keep a dog as companion.

Another turned it into a working studio to make it more robust with phone ringing and business calling.  I also visited a single home who turned it into an art museum because he loves art from expensive porcelain ornaments to china paintings.

 

I turned mine, into an "underwater world" with a couple of big aquariums. There is no need to visit Sentosa underwater world,  Felt very soothing and peaceful

 

Last but not least, which defeat the purpose of privacy, you decideed to rent it out to create noise for income.

 

The list of possibilities are endless, what is yours?

 

 

[Guest Guest]

Rent it out to create noise and $$$.  And oozes at the young student tenants.

[Guest Mone]

Rent it out to create noise and $$$.  And oozes at the young student tenants.

Student don't have so much $$$ for you to earn. They will ended up asking for free stay because they think you can be xploited for their youth.

[Guest Guest]

Student don't have so much $$$ for you to earn. They will ended up asking for free stay because they think you can be xploited for their youth.

 

Indonesian students are rich.  They flies in and out of Singapore during their short term breaks like Singaporeans going JB. 

[Guest Ilovebusdriver]

i used to have this fantasy of renting a room to china mei mei to pimp china bus driver and installed a spy cam in the room to watch them play.  Just a fantasy, don't sue me.

[mamamia]

I rent out a room to a friend lor ... Not just for money as i keep the rental low compare to market rates, also there is someone to talk to ...

[Coolbriz]

Wow I would love to create an arena of aquarium too if I stay alone! Does TS have CRS shrimps in your collection?

[Guest Kitty]

I rent out a room to a friend lor ... Not just for money as i keep the rental low compare to market rates, also there is someone to talk to ...

Any potential of him become a "permanent" resident eventually? Not just about low rental. Or it is simply purely friendship and no loveship?