Sino-Centrism On Blowing Wind

[Guest]

9 minutes ago, Guest Smooth said:

 

Can I also reject a person if he is hairy, like most Indians and Caucasians are?  Will you call me a racist?  I prefer smooth skin guys, fortunately or unfortunately, that most Chinese and north east Asians are.

Oh i see.. So as long as smooth skin..what race also can la

[Guest Smooth]

7 minutes ago, Guest said:

Oh i see.. So as long as smooth skin..what race also can la

 

Yes, Indian also can but so far, have not encountered one that has smooth skin like the Chinese.

[Guest]

6 minutes ago, Guest Smooth said:

 

Yes, Indian also can but so far, have not encountered one that has smooth skin like the Chinese.

Could it because you reject them even before you meet them or get to know them??

[Guest Smooth]

11 hours ago, Guest said:

Could it because you reject them even before you meet them or get to know them??

 

I think they rejected me as well. Maybe they only like Indians?

[Guest]

16 hours ago, Guest Smooth said:

 

I think they rejected me as well. Maybe they only like Indians?

 

A hairless body is a virtuous body.

[Guest Smooth]

On ‎17‎/‎3‎/‎2016 at 1:03 AM, Guest said:

 

A hairless body is a virtuous body.

 

The exchange here is NOT about hairless body.  It is about individual preference (and rights) which has nothing to do with racism.  Some like it hairy, some like it smooth, be he Chinese, Indian or any other races. 

[Guest]

Being gay is a sexual preference to male.

[fab]

I m not racist, colourist or classist. But i m smellyist, noiseist n dirtyist.

 

Dislike is different from hate.

 

If a person of a different race rejects u, so be it. Go find someone who will appreciate u. Indulging in the victim's game will not do u any good.

 

Edited March 20, 2016 by fab

[dreamerboy]

On 3/16/2016 at 6:48 PM, Guest said:

"The other party whom you label as racist is not going to hurl abuse at you, discriminate against you at work or affect your livelihood."

 

Perhaps not him per se but there are actual stories of not only foreigners but our own local Indians and Malays who've had their CVs denied consideration solely because they don't 'fit' the work environment. In some circles, it's even an unofficial HR directive.

 

What we see on this thread is merely a reflection of how wider society works.

 

Like how it's like in the gay world in Singapore, many here would get riled up not because of the unwarranted discrimination but because minorities have the audacity to highlight and ask for accountability in a country that proudly calls itself multiracial and meritocratic. 'How dare you tell the world that this is nothing but a farce. Stop creating trouble. Stop ruining our hegemony erm I mean harmony. Just accept your place in society and shut up'.

 

I could go on and on but like someone said, Mario Maurer would be an old man by then.

 

This is actually a good reply. There is "discrimination" everywhere la and no matter who we are we will face it. Men are discriminated against in the teaching industry and in administration. Women claim to be discriminated against in the corporate world but we know that str8 guys like them and tend to give them more than what they deserve (Hotel, modelling, etc...I can provide real life examples but that would just be my one-person experience). 

 

I worked at a HR company before and I couldn't understand why for a certain position my boss said "no Malays", because that makes my work much harder. Turns out that throughout the years this group of people has the highest rate of not turning up for scheduled interviews (I experienced that during my stint there and it's really really irresponsible of them), quitting without giving due notice, etc. So the other party told my Boss no more...

 

Of course we cannot generalise, but if a company has had long years of bad experience with any type of people they would wanna steer clear of them. If your daughter had been molested by a male teacher chances are you wouldn't hire another male tuition teacher for her. During my few months there, the incidence of last min backing out and total disappearance came mostly from *ahem*...the other groups of people probably 1 in 5 but that, 1 in 2...So gradually to prevent embarrassment and wasting my time I too had to develop some discernment for there was no other characteristic that indicated such a propensity to "disappearance"...I just wanted to do well and recruit as many people as possible so that I don't lose out to my other colleagues. My company, as with all others, wanted money and they'd take whoever is willing to do the job: who the hell cares about your race, gender or whatsoever (other than industries like modelling) as long as you can do the job??? If they discriminate against people who are capable, it is THEIR loss. 

 

I think there's a difference between necessary and unjust discrimination, and people tend to mistake the former as the latter, especially as regards themselves. We think the other person rejected us because of this and this but we are not the other party and we cannot read his or her mind, so it's less judgmental to take things in our stride. 

Edited March 20, 2016 by dreamerboy

[caindukkershannery]

I'm Sino and didn't have such problems. Just ignore the ones that ignore you and befriend the ones that are nice. Be happy and positive k~ =)

[Clickclock]

I think there's nothing much you can do about it but just adapt and move on, Blowingwind is largely Singapore-based and hence most of its population are ethnic Chinese, which explains the dominant preference for the local chn here. I mean you can try to convince someone to prefer other races, but that just defeats the purpose of a personal liking for a personal companion be it relationship or sex.

[Den Yuan]

Most of us are sticky rice.

[Guest]

I like mix salads.

[Guest Cup]

Of course lah, most people prefer their own race.

[Guest awaken]

On 3/16/2016 at 2:21 PM, Guest said:

hear it all too often: “I’m not racist, but I just wouldn’t date [insert race/ethnicity].”

If you have to start a sentence with a clarification that you’re notracist, that’s a pretty good indicator that you need to reevaluate whatever you’re about to say.

Type vs. Generalization

Before I spark a litany of impassioned defenses of your dating history, I want to reassure you that I’m not saying that all preferences are inherently biased and oppressive. It’s okay to have a type.

However, the most troublesome aspect of racial preferences lies in their exclusionary nature and heavy generalizations.

It’s totally fine to acknowledge that you’re more attracted to certain traits, but it’s a whole different ballgame to use preferences in the negative.

By stating that you wouldn’t date a certain group, you are essentially claiming that their superficial qualities would make it impossible for you to form an emotional connection – which is, let’s face it, prejudice.

Take a fairly basic example:

You’re into redheads. A few of your past partners have been redheads. But if a brunette starts flirting with you, are you really going to shut them down immediately? Probably not.

You have no bearing on their personality yet and you likely recognize that hair color has little-to-no effect on potential romantic compatibility.

At the very least, the slight edge in perceived physical attractiveness that a redhead would have had in your eyes can easily be compensated for by other traits you find attractive, like sense of humor or shared interests.

So why is the logic of superficial judgment validated when it comes to race?

Not dating someone on the basis of hair color sounds silly.

Yet time and time again, racial preferences are shrugged off as a legitimate and immutable aspect of sexual individuality, to the point where questioning them is demonized as threatening someone’s personal expression with uptight, irrational political correctness.

You’re probably noticing that this train of thought has a lot in common with the “born this way” argument for queerness.

Preferences are not the same as orientation.

You are not oppressed for being called out on stereotyping others. Lady Gaga isn’t going to pop out of the woodwork to vindicate your prejudiced asshole behavior.

To clarify, inclusionary racial preferences can be racist as well. Saying that you only want to date a specific race is equally problematic because it defines someone by their ethnicity.

Assuming that someone’s racial background gives them more desirable qualities reflects harmful histories of colonialism and the exotification and fetishization that went along with it.

Basically, if someone’s skin color alone is enough to make you attracted or not attracted to them, take a step back and think about your life choices.

Racial Preferences Are Not Your Right

Racial preferences aren’t a celebratory, untouchable birthright transmitted to you in the womb.

They aren’t a demarcation of any kind of fundamental individuality or any of the things that make you you.

It’s learned cultural bias, plain and simple.

You can’t possibly claim that you know for a fact that every single person of a given race or ethnicity has no chance of falling in love with you based entirely on physical appearance.

Many people will use the “exposure” excuse as a justification for their preferences, asserting that they have very little experience interacting with a certain group.

If anything, that makes your argument even more misguided because you are basically admitting that you’ve never been given the opportunity to try and form relationships with anyone from that community, so how do you even have enough information to “know”that you won’t be attracted to people that you’ve never met?

This brings us to the heart of the problem: stereotypes.

The Logic (or Lack Thereof) Behind Racial Preferences

If you ask someone why they think they wouldn’t date a certain race, the answer will almost always be rooted in a stereotype.

Sometimes the response will be pawned off as physical taste, such as “I don’t like their eyes” (which is really racist), or the person will try to get around the race factor by invoking a personality trait assumed to be shared by the whole group, like “They’re just so lazy” (which is still really racist).

Implied universalism is not only biased, but dangerous in the ways that it allows racial and cultural hierarchies to persist while enabling the individual to avoid any self-introspection of the factors that led to the formation of this perspective.

Other times, racial preferences can be traced back to a bad dating experience.

While I have sympathy for people who have endured unhealthy relationships and believe that the healing process should certainly be handled delicately, writing off an entire group because of a few crappy partners seems unfair and excessive at best.

You can’t assume that every future partner who is vaguely similar is going to treat you poorly, especially not based off of a quality as superficial as race.

If your ex was a fan of 80s music, would you cross anyone who liked Prince off your list in the future?

It’s elementary narrow-mindedness that avoids scrutiny because of some imagined concrete distinction between races.

The Effects of Perceived Racial Difference

Race and ethnicity have also been mistakenly correlated to supposedly irreconcilable cultural and socioeconomical differences.

People associate certain races with certain cultures and come to the foregone conclusion that they couldn’t possibly understand someone from an unfamiliar culture enough to build a relationship.

At best, this ideology is simple ignorance. At worst, it borders on a racial superiority complex since the assumption is that your way of life is better and shouldn’t be tainted or complicated by taking on the onus of navigating cross-cultural differences.

This has a ripple effect on other preconceived notions as well, such as associating ethnic backgrounds with a certain career trajectory and earning potential. Such a train of thought arbitrarily privileges some groups over others based on the positive or negative stereotypes that underpin their race.

The argument that you can know whether or not someone is a good person with a strong work ethic just by looking at them is beyond ridiculous. You can’t guess how ambitious someone is any more than you can guess their hobbies.

Intertwining the potential for social mobility with ethnicity rehearses a colonial omniscience that attaches varying value to skin color.

Exclusionary preferences can create internalized racism and inspire people to refuse to date members of their own community.

Rather, they endeavor to only consider socially legitimate ethnic groups (usually limited to whiteness) as viable partners.

The idea of “cherry picking” races to somehow magically have an ideal partner or relationship due to the racial dynamic alone needs to stop. Not only is it unreliable and illogical, but it propagates and validates oppression.

So What?

Race in itself has absolutely no bearing on a person’s effectiveness as a partner or their impact on a relationship.

It just doesn’t.

You may not consciously recognize or admit that racial preferences imply this, but if you stop and think about it, it couldn’t be more straightforward.

Racial preferences reduce people to their ethnicity and reinforce racial hierarchies by insinuating that race alone is a powerful enough factor to negate everything else that someone has to offer.

Claiming that someone is unworthy of associating with you because of race and hiding behind the flimsy excuse of sexual tastes or lack of hypothetical romantic chemistry is racist.

It’s true that anyone can have undesirable traits and you shouldn’t feel obligated to be with a person solely for inclusivity’s sake, but that doesn’t mean that those traits are ethnically specific.

Some preferences are fine.

Blanket assumptions based on race, ethnicity, and culture, particularly when these qualities are perceived as inherent deal breakers in forming a potential relationship, are not.

You can’t know whether or not you have chemistry with someone unless you get to know them.

Sure, plenty of interracial couples are incompatible, but I highly doubt that racial differences spelled their demise.

Be open-minded.

Your biases could be cutting you off from an incredibly fulfilling relationship.

Dating is hard enough without allowing stereotypes to bottleneck your dating pool.

 

 

http://everydayfeminism.com/2013/11/racial-preferences-are-racist/

 

Really? You wanna bring in Feminism? That which demonises everything male and sees everything in black and white? That which now also demonises preferences? What has the world come to? All these theories spring from one source - incredible sef-entitlement and self-centredness; the abject inability to put oneself in another's shoes or sympathise with another; the desperate need for satisfaction of one's own pleasures and self-righteousness. Whenever you have an opinion, the mind arranges all facts in the world to prove your hypothesis true. Such is the nature of the mind which we have yet to understand.

 

Our ideal for a partner is very very intimate indeed. Only someone with very specific qualities fit into that ideal that we have built out of our own characters and desires. We may fall in love with someone completely different from our ideal, but in dating or searching for that someone, who will actively or even passively try out every single person who falls out of that ideal? Race largely determines language and culture - two really important things, on top of religion. Why don't Chinese guys want to date muslim girls? Circumcision, conversion to another religion, etc. The need to adapt to a completely different culture and having no mother language in common is not something most people care to do in a relationship. If love happens, good for them. If not, who can demand that the world do as they say? What difference do these feminists and racist-labellers have from dictators? They are now mere dictators of thought; if they are in power, they might only differ from Hitler in methods of brutality. 

[Guest Awaken]

It would also be irony at its best when the feminist who wrote this self-righteous article refuses to date a Malay guy because he has "patriarchal" ideas of a relationship. Or refuses to date a guy simply because he's male and she's attracted to females only! Wait, that's sexism!! Who are we to discriminate against another gender! Who are we to refuse to date someone JUST BECAUSE OF THEIR GENDER?? That's internalised sexism. 

 

If the above does not wake people up to the fallacy of the racism argument that has been put forth again and again here, then I'm afraid people will simply live their lives in narrow-mindedness...

 

I'm not denying racism. I am merely affirming that preference is not always - in fact rarely - racism. 

[Guest Dumbledore]

If, in the minds of people, preference and prejudice could be so hopelessly confused and intertwined with one another, we can be sure the age of privilege is here. 

[upshot]

[Guest Guest]

4 hours ago, upshot said:

 

Yes, your name hurts...

[upshot]

7 minutes ago, Guest Guest said:

 

Yes, your name hurts...

 

[Guest Guest]

10 hours ago, upshot said:

 

 

Please... you don't know what "butthurt" means even if you go through this...

 

[upshot]

11 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

 

Please... you don't know what "butthurt" means even if you go through this...

 

 

You are right I have no idea what butt hurt means.. as I am not a childish and chronic sensitive snowflake like yourself. Toxic fixation. Almost cruel of me to demean you more than what you are doing to yourself publicly, anonymous as you are.

Edited January 11, 2017 by upshot

[Guest Guest]

11 hours ago, upshot said:

 

You are right I have no idea what butt hurt means.. as I am not a childish and chronic sensitive snowflake like yourself. Toxic fixation. Almost cruel of me to demean you more than what you are doing to yourself publicly, anonymous as you are.

 

Oh! So now you admit you don't even know what "butthurt" means?

Almost cruel of me to stupefy you more than what you are doing to yourself publicly, anonymous as you are

 

[upshot]

16 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

 

Oh! So now you admit you don't even know what "butthurt" means?

 

 

It just means... I take nothing serious that it cause me to have butt hurt like sensitive snowflake pondan like you. You think what you said actually effect me outside of forum. heh. pitiful life you lead.

[Guest ben10]

On 1/3/2017 at 11:39 AM, Guest awaken said:

 

Really? You wanna bring in Feminism? That which demonises everything male and sees everything in black and white? That which now also demonises preferences? What has the world come to? All these theories spring from one source - incredible sef-entitlement and self-centredness; the abject inability to put oneself in another's shoes or sympathise with another; the desperate need for satisfaction of one's own pleasures and self-righteousness. Whenever you have an opinion, the mind arranges all facts in the world to prove your hypothesis true. Such is the nature of the mind which we have yet to understand.

 

Our ideal for a partner is very very intimate indeed. Only someone with very specific qualities fit into that ideal that we have built out of our own characters and desires. We may fall in love with someone completely different from our ideal, but in dating or searching for that someone, who will actively or even passively try out every single person who falls out of that ideal? Race largely determines language and culture - two really important things, on top of religion. Why don't Chinese guys want to date muslim girls? Circumcision, conversion to another religion, etc. The need to adapt to a completely different culture and having no mother language in common is not something most people care to do in a relationship. If love happens, good for them. If not, who can demand that the world do as they say? What difference do these feminists and racist-labellers have from dictators? They are now mere dictators of thought; if they are in power, they might only differ from Hitler in methods of brutality. 

 

By right, we should not label anyone.

[Guest yougurt]

try to talk to other chinese race, i noticed it is only singaporean chinese tend to be racist. usually chinese from malaysia, china, taiwan etc are not going to shut u down once they know u are not chinese. but locals are a bit like that some of them. their first question in all apps are "where are u from" before even saying hi.

[Guest KatakDalamTempurung]

In my experience, Singaporeans are a deeply conservative, insular and fearful people with a collective delusion that they are first world and forward thinking.

[beargeek]

was just exposed to the amount of denial/delusion in this thread. yikes. 

[Guest lol]

they are 1st world with 3rd world manners. 

[Guest huu]

singaporean chinese like to sugar coat racism with preference. but in reality they just dont like certain race thats it. it will never be preference when it comes to race. whats the differenece of a chinese looking foreigner to local lets say if u are just looking for sex.

[firefight]

Everyone has preferences. Just suck thumb and take time to find whoever that works for you.

[Guest mirror]

most people just cannot take rejection, they thought they are princess

[Guest BELIEVE_IN_YOU]

maybe just moved on, anyway why you will like a racist boyfriend? or friends? there is saying tell me who your friends are and i tell you who you are. you are not racist and so am i so why we make friends with them? keep your values and stay away with people who are like them, trust me they are also unhappy in their life that is why they are racist.