Single & Living Alone Discussion (compiled)

[Guest]

Who are the likely loner?

 

1) The medically challenged

2) .....ugly?

3)....

I believe Stephen Hawking can be considered medically challenged but he is married, so is Nick Vujicic.

 

As for the "Ugly" I can't think of any one that can fall into that category....

[Guest Seen]

If nobody ever believe in being alone.  Visit the hospital and you see what lies ahead:

 

Nurse asking patient whether he or she has any relative, family members to fetch them home.

 

Other patient's family looking at another bed and wondered why nobody paid any visit to the patient next to them during visiting hour.

 

Patient screaming to get out of hospital because he has bill at home to pay and nobody is takiing care of it.  He was constantly kept under watch from running away.

 

The reason why I knew because my dad was hospitalised quite regularly and because it was a shared c class ward, you saw everything happening in the hospital.

 

You guys don't like to see all these things. Don't you? Now, go find your companion.

 

[Guest]

If nobody ever believe in being alone.  Visit the hospital and you see what lies ahead:

 

Nurse asking patient whether he or she has any relative, family members to fetch them home.

 

Other patient's family looking at another bed and wondered why nobody paid any visit to the patient next to them during visiting hour.

 

Patient screaming to get out of hospital because he has bill at home to pay and nobody is takiing care of it.  He was constantly kept under watch from running away.

 

The reason why I knew because my dad was hospitalised quite regularly and because it was a shared c class ward, you saw everything happening in the hospital.

 

You guys don't like to see all these things. Don't you? Now, go find your companion.

Where is the compassion? Sorry I could only see selfishness......

[Guest Bates]

Being alone OR lonely is not a sin, not something to be ashamed of and not to be looked down upon. Just that at certain point it is devastating and painful if you allow yourself to fall right into the whirl. And it's addictive.  :twisted:

 

[Guest scared]

any idea how to avoid being alone in old age? i'm scared to death.

[Guest Fatty]

If nobody ever believe in being alone. Visit the hospital and you see what lies ahead:

Nurse asking patient whether he or she has any relative, family members to fetch them home.

Other patient's family looking at another bed and wondered why nobody paid any visit to the patient next to them during visiting hour.

Patient screaming to get out of hospital because he has bill at home to pay and nobody is takiing care of it. He was constantly kept under watch from running away.

The reason why I knew because my dad was hospitalised quite regularly and because it was a shared c class ward, you saw everything happening in the hospital.

You guys don't like to see all these things. Don't you? Now, go find your companion.

Who wants to be bald if he has hair?

I'm short and bui and smelly and poor. Who will love me??

[Steve5380]

Who wants to be bald if he has hair?

I'm short and bui and smelly and poor. Who will love me??

 

YOU should love yourself.  Maybe this should be the first commandment?

[Guest Guest]

any idea how to avoid being alone in old age? i'm scared to death.

Make sure you have lots of money and get a companion younger than you. Don't be stingy if you want your companion to be by your side. Problem solved.

[Guest Guest]

any idea how to avoid being alone in old age? i'm scared to death.

 

die early - quit while you're ahead.

[mate69]

die early - quit while you're ahead.

 

This is a very callous and irresponsible post.

 

If you have nothing positive to contribute, please refrain from posting such inane comments.

[Guest Better Solution]

Make sure you have lots of money and get a companion younger than you. Don't be stingy if you want your companion to be by your side. Problem solved.

 

Much easier, less worries, no pain, no strain, anytime, anywhere. After all, that's where we're going.

 

 

[Guest Fatty]

die early - quit while you're ahead.

Looking for a building to jump now

[Guest EvenFattier]

Looking for a building to jump now

 

Wait a minute, don't you wanna... take a selfie first?

[Steve5380]

All these are temporal, it will come a time you may no longer do all these things when reality set in. I was doing what you did in the past but now......

 

IMAGINE if we will spent our life time worrying that one day we may be unable to breathe anymore and will die, be buried or cremated !!

OF COURSE everything we do is temporal. 

But why should this ruin your life TODAY?

[Guest wozzit]

Much easier, less worries, no pain, no strain, anytime, anywhere. After all, that's where we're going.

 

 

 

Sure thats where were going, but theres a time n a place for everything. 

 

Theres a term used on some mostly Thailand chat room boards abt suicides in Pattaya. Its called "flying faring" - foreigners who end it all by jumping from buildings. These tend to fall into two categories - foreigners who married younger Thai women n were later robbed of everything, or those whose Thai partners suddenly left them for another man or woman.

 

Death by taking an overdose of pills or jumping from a tall building has always seemed to me slightly worrying. Both take time - from a few seconds to perhaps a few minutes. What if during that time u realise something that makes u desperate to stay alive or realise its all a horrible mistake? What if as you approach the ground u see ur bf returning n u realise he might be on his way to beg to return? (A rather silly analogy but ull know what I mean).

 

Of course most people will say its not an issue because death is only a few seconds away. Yet twice in my life I have been involved in accidents. On each occasion it seemed as though time had slowed down drastically n I was viewing life in slow motion. It was weird - like I was in a movie. What took merely 2 or 3 seconds felt like 10 or more. Is that how it might feel if u end it all by jumping? If so, Ill let nature take its course!

[Guest FattierSolution]

Sure thats where were going, but theres a time n a place for everything.

 

I guess you're right, there's this time at this place where you'll take the pills.     

Lighten up people ! Go watch some good comedies and you'll be back on your feet again. And then, watch even more. 

 

[Guest Lawyer]

Looking for a building to jump now

I know you are upset with the 70%. But there is always another 5 years before next election is held. Don't jump. WP won't turn up for your funeral.

[Guest Guest]

Much easier, less worries, no pain, no strain, anytime, anywhere. After all, that's where we're going.

 

 

Yes for the majority poor, but thanks for the info, curious so what is the minimum dosage that can kill you? Thanks.

[yoyo74]

any idea how to avoid being alone in old age? i'm scared to death.

U better find as many gay people as possible and find some trusted friends in it. Even if cant find love, u can easily find many friends in it. Go join big group outing and keep meeting people. Be nice to others and some will be nice to u too. Do not be afraid to say wat u fear and wat u want.

[Nipoet]

Maybe it's the Piscean in me, but I've always believed that I will find my Significant Other.

 

But, after searching for about 20+ yrs, the probably dwindles.

 

So, I've started preparing for the inevitability of being alone in my olden years, buying my BTO, insurance, etc.

 

I guess it won't be so bad; at least I have my wife (PS4) and mistresses (books) to accompany me. *cries*

[Guest Guest]

But, after searching for about 20+ yrs, the probably dwindles.

 

Hmmm... searching... so you do have expectation lah. Haizz... too high. 

[Guest GUEST']

worst is yr best friends instead of helping u solve yr loneliness problem he laugh at u for being a loner. and boasting he have a 24 yr old bf.

[Guest Fatty]

worst is yr best friends instead of helping u solve yr loneliness problem he laugh at u for being a loner. and boasting he have a 24 yr old bf.

Why don't you try to steal his bf?

[Guest 30Percent]

worst is yr best friends instead of helping u solve yr loneliness problem he laugh at u for being a loner. and boasting he have a 24 yr old bf.

 

This means you are hanging out with the wrong people.

 

Unfortunately vast majority of the Singapore gays (just like 70%) are mostly self-serving types. They either seeking a "hot" guy (as the only criteria) as bf or a rich bf (to leech off). The "friends" they hang out are "equally hot" like them (sort of like the American high school cliques) or in the "same financial level" (only mix with doctors, lawyers, bankers, etc).

 

I am totally not surprised that I will see many of these local people (straight or gay) die lonely, uncared for, or just get ripped off of their money by some PRC bitch or young "hunk". More and more such kind of stories you read in Wanbao or New Paper.

 

Because their whole life is just revolved around "keeping up with jones" or "looking good".

[Guest Guest]

I am totally not surprised that I will see many of these local people (straight or gay) die lonely, uncared for, or just get ripped off of their money by some PRC bitch or young "hunk". More and more such kind of stories you read in Wanbao or New Paper.

 

Putting aside family (and maybe even the One if lucky), I will live and die lonely simply because I refuse to mingle with the 70% you segregated, not even in a sexual way. Yes, there's such creature around and no, no one get to know me and I don't give a damn.

[Guest Guest]

I'm thinking of forming a group for middle aged PLUs, i.e.late 30s, 40s & 50s.

 

Where would be a good place to meet? It would need to be close to public transport.

 

How about around 1pm on this Saturday at the coffee shop of Block 325 Clementi Avenue 5 where Botak Jones is located? It is next to the MRT and there is a big parking lot for those who drive.

 

Let's make it free and easy. We can order our own lunch and drinks. Just sit at a table in a corner outside without smokers, women and children and start small talk with any middle aged man. Let's be positive and relaxed. Each will need to take his own initiative. For the less secretive, you can state in advance here what you will be wearing so that others can approach you easily.

 

There is no agenda and no organiser. Slowly, the group will form and we can meet every Sat. Hope some real friendships and relationships will form and there will be at least two less lonely people in this world.

[Steve5380]

I'm thinking of forming a group for middle aged PLUs, i.e.late 30s, 40s & 50s.

 

Where would be a good place to meet? It would need to be close to public transport.

 

How about around 1pm on this Saturday at the coffee shop of Block 325 Clementi Avenue 5 where Botak Jones is located? It is next to the MRT and there is a big parking lot for those who drive.

 

Let's make it free and easy. We can order our own lunch and drinks. Just sit at a table in a corner outside without smokers, women and children and start small talk with any middle aged man. Let's be positive and relaxed. Each will need to take his own initiative. For the less secretive, you can state in advance here what you will be wearing so that others can approach you easily.

 

There is no agenda and no organiser. Slowly, the group will form and we can meet every Sat. Hope some real friendships and relationships will form and there will be at least two less lonely people in this world.

 

Yours sounds like a good initiative.

But if you take this role, you should first get an identity at BW.  

Why you post as "guest" instead of taking out an alias?

With an alias you can still be anonymous, but at least one will know who is posting.

[Guest Guest]

I'm thinking of forming a group for middle aged PLUs, i.e.late 30s, 40s & 50s.

 

Where would be a good place to meet? It would need to be close to public transport.

 

How about around 1pm on this Saturday at the coffee shop of Block 325 Clementi Avenue 5 where Botak Jones is located? It is next to the MRT and there is a big parking lot for those who drive.

 

Let's make it free and easy. We can order our own lunch and drinks. Just sit at a table in a corner outside without smokers, women and children and start small talk with any middle aged man. Let's be positive and relaxed. Each will need to take his own initiative. For the less secretive, you can state in advance here what you will be wearing so that others can approach you easily.

 

There is no agenda and no organiser. Slowly, the group will form and we can meet every Sat. Hope some real friendships and relationships will form and there will be at least two less lonely people in this world.

 

Consider other thread on social meet up with an organizer also bear no fruit, I don't see this can go anywhere with no agenda and no organizer.

Trust me, without organizer no group will be formed. Do you know why people are here in this forum (except those seeking fun).

[Guest teddy]

I'm thinking of forming a group for middle aged PLUs, i.e.late 30s, 40s & 50s.

 

Where would be a good place to meet? It would need to be close to public transport.

 

How about around 1pm on this Saturday at the coffee shop of Block 325 Clementi Avenue 5 where Botak Jones is located? It is next to the MRT and there is a big parking lot for those who drive.

 

Let's make it free and easy. We can order our own lunch and drinks. Just sit at a table in a corner outside without smokers, women and children and start small talk with any middle aged man. Let's be positive and relaxed. Each will need to take his own initiative. For the less secretive, you can state in advance here what you will be wearing so that others can approach you easily.

 

There is no agenda and no organiser. Slowly, the group will form and we can meet every Sat. Hope some real friendships and relationships will form and there will be at least two less lonely people in this world.

 

I beg to differ. I like your idea. Let's do it. Let things go naturally. Once this gets started, we can colonise other locations.

 

Let's face it. If we don't do something to build some kind of social network, many more people are going to face a lonely existence, doesn't matter young, middle aged or elderly.

 

Even a group of 2 or 3 can be considered a success. If like-minded people can form close-knitted cliques of 2 to 3, we will have that much fewer lonely souls. Let's start to build this network.

[nevereverland]

i dont see anything wrong with being alone (unpartnered) just be more sociable.

[sean_sean]

don't need to wait, i'm alone now already. 

 

#foreveralone

[ouat1972]

Actually there's really nothing wrong with being alone if that's what he wants.

The trouble is there are many who wants to get partnered but some how couldn't.

So is it a question of mismatched personality, missed opportunities, character flaws, bad timing, impossibly high expectations, or what?

[Guest Coordinator]

I had wanted to be there this Sat but can't make it now. Although I raised the idea, I hope those who are serious in meeting like-minded people will take this opportunity to meet others in a relaxed, non-sexual, non-paying, non-threatening (if you do not like the crowd, you can disappear after your lunch, and nobody would know who you are, and hopefully you can come back the next Sat) environment.

 

The opportunity has been created. Each of us has to play our part to determine our own happiness as we age. Like the Chinese saying, giving others a chance is like giving ourself a chance.

 

When we were younger, naturally, we had high expectations. But with time and age, we realise that perhaps our expectations had not been realistic. Perhaps we have to accept someone who is not as good-looking, etc. At the end of the day, what matters is whether 2 hearts beat as one. Loneliness is something we will not realise until we feel it. We need to plan ahead to avoid it.

 

I do not like the idea of being the organiser. I only raised the idea, the time and venue. Each of us is an organiser ourself. You see, now that I can't even attend myself, I would have been attacked left, right and centre as the organiser who does not even attend. 

 

OK, lah...I call myself co-ordinator lah.

[Guest Coordinator]

For those who intend to go, it would be in your interest to indicate your intention here so that others who are undecided will be motivated to go if they see others are attending. 

[Guest civilized]

i dont see anything wrong with being alone (unpartnered) just be more sociable.

 

Being alone at 40 or 50 is still manageable.  Most of us see it as nothing wrong and even gotten use to it.  But reality strike when you hit your 60s and 70s.  Your movement become rigid, vision become blurred, memory failed you.  You can't climb a stair without feeling breathless.  Then, you suffered a fall in the bathroom.  Suddenly you feel lonely and helpless.

[Guest Coordinator]

Being alone at 40 or 50 is still manageable.  Most of us see it as nothing wrong and even gotten use to it.  But reality strike when you hit your 60s and 70s.  Your movement become rigid, vision become blurred, memory failed you.  You can't climb a stair without feeling breathless.  Then, you suffered a fall in the bathroom.  Suddenly you feel lonely and helpless.

And the fall in the bathroom could be the start of a life confined to the bed.

 

The key is in building a support system involving family and friends. We need to strive to maintain good relationships with our family members and close friends. And to do so, we need to focus on the needs of others, not on ourself, and in giving, for it is in giving that we receive.

 

Similarly, if we want others to take care of us, we need to take care of them first. That's why children take care of their parents, well, at least in the Asian context. I am considering adoption but it seems almost impossible nowadays for singles, not to mention male singles.

 

Anyone knows of surrogation, in Cambodia? Thailand is now very strict after the Australian case.

[Guest Nurse]

And the fall in the bathroom could be the start of a life confined to the bed.

 

Minor stroke can also cause many complications, not just bedridden. Try to exercise regularly, regardless of age, size.  Keep your heart pumping, your blood circulating and everything to defer all those old age moment of inconveniences.

[Guest civilized]

And the fall in the bathroom could be the start of a life confined to the bed.

 

The key is in building a support system involving family and friends. We need to strive to maintain good relationships with our family members and close friends. And to do so, we need to focus on the needs of others, not on ourself, and in giving, for it is in giving that we receive.

 

Similarly, if we want others to take care of us, we need to take care of them first. That's why children take care of their parents, well, at least in the Asian context. I am considering adoption but it seems almost impossible nowadays for singles, not to mention male singles.

 

Anyone knows of surrogation, in Cambodia? Thailand is now very strict after the Australian case.

 

I would say more than 90% of parents will bring up and nurture their children.  But I won't say the same 90% of children will do the same to their parents.  So save the idea of surrogation, it's not worth the risk and effort. 

[lonelyglobe]

Consider other thread on social meet up with an organizer also bear no fruit, I don't see this can go anywhere with no agenda and no organizer.

Trust me, without organizer no group will be formed. Do you know why people are here in this forum (except those seeking fun).

Absolutely....not here to pour cold water but a better way to bring people together is through a common interest for eg. a badminton session or a jogging session, if participant like to mingle after the session, they can stay, otherwise just enjoy the sport at least...........

[Guest Knowing]

Alone?  In my perspective, it is not something everyone loved to be caught in such situation - there were not enough "kind hearted & handsome" gay man to share around in this world.  No matter how many organisers you started or gathering you initiated with spontaneous particiapants bearing an ideal and hope. The result may be quite predictable:-

 

A:  Gosh, he looks plump

B:  Why is he so sloppy in his dressing?

C:  I saw his scars and pimples everywhere

D:  Oh no, this uncle always stood at the urinal. I knew him.

E:  So skinny, I think he is under nourished

F:  He is too stylish for my taste and that heavy make up too.

G: Why is my ex-bf here?

H.  He smells when he talked

I.   I don't think this chap is my type, better stand far far away from him

J:  He is so loud and bitchy, not my type.

 

You get the point.  10 people turned up and started to judge each other phsyically even before the introduction.

 

That's life isn't it?  All these people were there with hope, hope to find that dreamed guy and was supportive of such event. Eventually, the numbers dwindled not because they are not supportive, but they may think it is a waste of their time because they couldn't find the person they like.  It happened in Sauna, doesn't mean such mentality will not carry beyond the cruising spectrum of their life.

 

Unless...there is enough handsome & kind-hearted man to share around.  This gay world will have many lonesome soul and probably die alone as a result.

 

Now....stop judging my writing here. Ask yourself first - with full honesty in your heart.

[Firday]

Actually being alone is not that bad or sad at all....

 

i get to do thing faster

travel without limitation of choice

eat without hesitation 

 

sort of you decide without restriction.

 

pure indulgence choice. 

 

 

having friend sometime really restrict me

eg, check his timing, food choice and opinion.... in a way sometime i felt having a lover is like blocking freedom of choice

Edited November 21, 2015 by Firday

[Guest Stress]

Actually being alone is not that bad or sad at all....

 

i get to do thing faster

travel without limitation of choice

eat without hesitation 

 

sort of you decide without restriction.

 

pure indulgence choice. 

 

 

having friend sometime really restrict me

eg, check his timing, food choice and opinion.... in a way sometime i felt having a lover is like blocking freedom of choice

Nobody is restricting anybody.  People fear having friend or lover as some kind digital curfew wrist wrap worn around prisoner, is unlikely to feel love. I called it self-love.  It is always "ME, I, MINE", layer and layer of gates installed for fear of security breached that you hallucinated may cost you dearly.

 

I do understand why people gave up hoppy.  They fear bugs and stopped gardening,  they travel regularly and stopped doing aquarium,  they have no budget and stopped their painting suddently....etc

 

Having lover, what cost is there? Time, freedom, fear of the unseen that he may turned into Warewolf when the clock struck 12?

 

You can still travel, no budget needrf to maintain a relationship, and still do what you like (and still have sex), and yes, he will be there to rid the creepy bug that landed on your shoulder without you knowing.

 

The fact that your lover may also have the same fear as you. That makes solution even easier to solve.  He wants freedom, and you too - sound fair.  The next problem may than result - if you are paranoid and fear he "eat fresh" outside your bedroom because of the freedom both sought, than you know freedom may also cause you unease emotionally and mentally.  

 

FREEDOM!!!! is not always free. To be free, is to be overwhelmed by love and you get forget coming to his forum and live a happy life thereafter.

[Guest Guest]

having friend sometime really restrict me

eg, check his timing, food choice and opinion.... in a way sometime i felt having a lover is like blocking freedom of choice

 

You are too into yourself and not into giving.

[Guest puzzled]

not only sickness, recently I just had an incident, my room lock was spoilt and I was locked inside, no matter how I try to break it, there is simply no way to open, lucky my phone was in side the room and I just call a locksmith for help, imagine if my phone is outside the room, I can't imagine what will happen........

Why do you need to lock your room in the first place if you are the only one at home?

Do you mean the locksmith broke open your main door first and then broke open your bedroom door to let you out?

[Firday]

You are too into yourself and not into giving.

 

actually you may be right....let me give u free advice,

 

u dun know me at all.

[Firday]

Nobody is restricting anybody.  People fear having friend or lover as some kind digital curfew wrist wrap worn around prisoner, is unlikely to feel love. I called it self-love.  It is always "ME, I, MINE", layer and layer of gates installed for fear of security breached that you hallucinated may cost you dearly.

 

I do understand why people gave up hoppy.  They fear bugs and stopped gardening,  they travel regularly and stopped doing aquarium,  they have no budget and stopped their painting suddently....etc

 

Having lover, what cost is there? Time, freedom, fear of the unseen that he may turned into Warewolf when the clock struck 12?

 

You can still travel, no budget needrf to maintain a relationship, and still do what you like (and still have sex), and yes, he will be there to rid the creepy bug that landed on your shoulder without you knowing.

 

The fact that your lover may also have the same fear as you. That makes solution even easier to solve.  He wants freedom, and you too - sound fair.  The next problem may than result - if you are paranoid and fear he "eat fresh" outside your bedroom because of the freedom both sought, than you know freedom may also cause you unease emotionally and mentally.  

 

FREEDOM!!!! is not always free. To be free, is to be overwhelmed by love and you get forget coming to his forum and live a happy life thereafter.

FREEDOM!!!! is not always free

 

let me ponder awhile...hard to digest .

[Guest Guest]

actually you may be right....let me give u free advice,

 

u dun know me at all.

 

Based on whatever you have posted, which I supposed to be your sincere heart-felt feelings and thoughts, then I don't need to and I don't have to waste time to know you.

[Guest Stress]

FREEDOM!!!! is not always free

 

let me ponder awhile...hard to digest .

No need to digest.  You want freedom, but also afraid that your boy boy will go makan fresh meat if he gave you too much freedom. Which is why I said freedom is not always free. Simple as that.

[Guest Guest]

just thinking ... will becoming a monk and living in temple prevent loneliness in old age?

[garrpng]

I beg to differ. I like your idea. Let's do it. Let things go naturally. Once this gets started, we can colonise other locations.

 

Let's face it. If we don't do something to build some kind of social network, many more people are going to face a lonely existence, doesn't matter young, middle aged or elderly.

 

Even a group of 2 or 3 can be considered a success. If like-minded people can form close-knitted cliques of 2 to 3, we will have that much fewer lonely souls. Let's start to build this network.

I missed the post last week. Let's do this again. Once a month or even once every two months is good.